Secret Santa 2014 input wanted

[tulosai]

What can be done if someone is an active chatter, signs up, and *then* stops participating? And what about people who do not respond to nudges from fairies/elves/mods? (This is not sarcastic or rhetorical. This is a real, genuine concern and struggle. I just don't know what the expected during-the-swap resolution is.)

So A LOT has been posted since this was, and I only read to halfway through page 9, but this is all too depressing to read more, so apologies if others have said what I was going to say. 

I share a lot of the general concerns expressed in this thread but I sort of want to cry reading some of the comments at this point, since I have disappeared for a few weeks now, and according to a lot of people, this would mean I am banned from the next swap for insufficient participation in this one.

I think SS should be fun for everyone.  And we need to figure out a way to avoid anyone wanting to cry or throw things.  This means both the people who are frustrated that their partner isn't posting, and it also means the people who get slammed unexpectedly and can't post.

My ideas:

Reveal requirement: I think a requirement of letting the board know you got your package is a good idea. But we need to bear in mind that (though it's rare) some people don't have smart phones or a digital camera and might find it hard to post pictures.  I know this is increasingly obsolete, but this was me last December.  I found a way to post pictures anyway but I had to borrow someone else's phone, and for one of my buddies I had to do this daily as her gift was super thoughtfully broken down into a 25 days of christmas extravaganza.  I was unable to post her last few gifts to me because I was travelling and unable to borrow a camera. I would hate to think that banned me from participating next time. So I'd vote for a requirement of one post acknowledging that YES you have the gift, and either a few photos OR a note saying you can't post photos now but everything is safe, thank you so much.

Post requirement: I think think the idea of a minimum of 50-100 posts IN THE PAST YEAR is a good one. I think 100 is better than 50 personally. I don't think you should also be required to post a specific number of times during the swap or if there is a requirement it should be minimal. Despite what some people here seem to think, stuff DOES happen and makes it hard for some of us to find 10 minutes to post. Stuff can happen even in the modern age where one is without internet access for a period of time.  It is also hard because some of us are just trying to play catch up reading the thread because of the people who post in it a TON, so we are wading through literally dozens of pages if we've been gone for a long weekend, and it's hard to jump in again before catching up somewhat because what you are saying by then is 50 topics ago. I think a compromise would be making a survey a requirement to join, and you have to fill it out before the sign up cut off date. Even if you make a certain number of posts in the thread a requirement,  some person is probably just going to post like 'yes' or 'no' as their responses in the thread, and their buddy is going to be the same amount upset as if they hadn't posted at all but they won't have violated the rules.

I think overall the tone of this thread has become very  negative on both sides and I think this is just depressing.  This is just supposed to be fun for everyone.

 

[Babs28]

So A LOT has been posted since this was, and I only read to halfway through page 9, but this is all too depressing to read more, so apologies if others have said what I was going to say. 

I share a lot of the general concerns expressed in this thread but I sort of want to cry reading some of the comments at this point, since I have disappeared for a few weeks now, and according to a lot of people, this would mean I am banned from the next swap for insufficient participation in this one.

I think SS should be fun for everyone.  And we need to figure out a way to avoid anyone wanting to cry or throw things.  This means both the people who are frustrated that their partner isn't posting, and it also means the people who get slammed unexpectedly and can't post.

My ideas:

Reveal requirement: I think a requirement of letting the board know you got your package is a good idea. But we need to bear in mind that (though it's rare) some people don't have smart phones or a digital camera and might find it hard to post pictures.  I know this is increasingly obsolete, but this was me last December.  I found a way to post pictures anyway but I had to borrow someone else's phone, and for one of my buddies I had to do this daily as her gift was super thoughtfully broken down into a 25 days of christmas extravaganza.  I was unable to post her last few gifts to me because I was travelling and unable to borrow a camera. I would hate to think that banned me from participating next time. So I'd vote for a requirement of one post acknowledging that YES you have the gift, and either a few photos OR a note saying you can't post photos now but everything is safe, thank you so much.

Post requirement: I think think the idea of a minimum of 50-100 posts IN THE PAST YEAR is a good one. I think 100 is better than 50 personally. I don't think you should also be required to post a specific number of times during the swap or if there is a requirement it should be minimal. Despite what some people here seem to think, stuff DOES happen and makes it hard for some of us to find 10 minutes to post. Stuff can happen even in the modern age where one is without internet access for a period of time.  It is also hard because some of us are just trying to play catch up reading the thread because of the people who post in it a TON, so we are wading through literally dozens of pages if we've been gone for a long weekend, and it's hard to jump in again before catching up somewhat because what you are saying by then is 50 topics ago. I think a compromise would be making a survey a requirement to join, and you have to fill it out before the sign up cut off date. Even if you make a certain number of posts in the thread a requirement,  some person is probably just going to post like 'yes' or 'no' as their responses in the thread, and their buddy is going to be the same amount upset as if they hadn't posted at all but they won't have violated the rules.

I think overall the tone of this thread has become very  negative on both sides and I think this is just depressing.  This is just supposed to be fun for everyone.

I could not have said it better myself.  I know that you are a consistent poster and I am SO SORRY you feel like crying. It's not right.  This is supposed to be FUN!!!  Most of this thread is not FUN. I am sending my gift with the understanding that I may not here back from the person I sent it to.  I doubt it because I know who she is and she is a consistent poster. I would HOPE that they would acknowledge the gift to at least sat, I received it. BUT if I had received a person who didn't post, I would still send out a gift that I was PROUD to say, "Yep, that was me, I sent it." Would I be annoyed or a little upset? But I would keep it to myself.

If I wasn't "running" Summerswap, chances are you would have seen a lot less of me with work and moving but the Summerswap is my responsibly so I post as much as I can.  

I like @@tulosai's idea that a survey is a requirement to join.

 

[zadidoll]

I think a compromise would be making a survey a requirement to join, and you have to fill it out before the sign up cut off date.

I actually like that idea... alot. This may be implemented this year. I'm getting ready (in September) to reveal the new rules and requirements. I'm going to be up front here and say I'm not going to make being an active member of MUT a strict requirement. If someone is great, if not that's fine. I rather shut Secret Santa down than allow it to become so exclusive that new members - who meet the minimum requirements - are not allowed to participate. That wasn't the intent of the original Secret Santa and I won't let it evolve to that. I might increase the post amounts from 50 to 75 though.

We'll see... I'll probably have a series of polls put up here in SS to see what people want so if you have a poll question that you want me to ask post below. It has to be a YES or NO question so keep that in mind.

 

[kawaiisofoxy]

New Poll Question:

"Are you OK with receiving anti-aging skincare?"

I personally have issues with the chemicals in the anti-aging stuff.  They make my sensitive skin burn.  But, I feel weird giving it away like "Here you go you old wrinkly thing you!"  BUT, I know a lot of people on here love getting the samples because a lot of anti-aging stuff is expensive!  So this question would eliminate my "would my Santee welcome these samples or find them offensive?" obsessing.

 

[Lolo22]

New Poll Question:

"Are you OK with receiving anti-aging skincare?"

I personally have issues with the chemicals in the anti-aging stuff. They make my sensitive skin burn. But, I feel weird giving it away like "Here you go you old wrinkly thing you!" BUT, I know a lot of people on here love getting the samples because a lot of anti-aging stuff is expensive! So this question would eliminate my "would my Santee welcome these samples or find them offensive?" obsessing.

Yes, great question to add! I would love getting it but feel offensive giving it without specific direction. Also, same sentiment about spot treatments/acne products.

 

[SaraP]

I know a lot of people in their early 20s say they are starting early. I see that I think "I'm an idiot for waiting so long" haha

 

[zadidoll]

Let me be more specific on the type of poll questions I'm going to ask or types I'm seeking to ask.

Things like anti-aging would be good for after a person signs up but the types of questions I'm looking to poll is more on the direction I want to take SS and/or the rules. But I do think the anti-aging one will be perfect for a "Get to know me" type of thread.

 

[kawaiisofoxy]

Could we have some examples? I'm still confused, especially as to the yes/no question type.  

:unsure2: I promise I'm not usually this dense.

 

[zadidoll]

Example, "Should we increase the minimum purchase amount from $25 to $30?"

 

[kawaiisofoxy]

Thank you!

- Should we require a form of acknowledgment like a PM or a post in the reveal forum (no pics necessary, just a "got my package, thanks!") from Santee to Santa once the gift is received?

- Is a 4-week shopping window long enough?

- Is a 2-week shipping window long enough?

 

[tulosai]

I think we should also ask 'would a one week sign up window be better than two weeks?'

 

[jennm149]

Thank you!

- Should we require a form of acknowledgment like a PM or a post in the reveal forum (no pics necessary, just a "got my package, thanks!") from Santee to Santa once the gift is received?

- Is a 4-week shopping window long enough?

- Is a 2-week shipping window long enough?

If it's not too much trouble, I'd break the first question up into two:

-  Should some acknowledgement from Santee to Santa (private or public) be required?

-  Should some public acknowledgement in the reveal thread (no pictures necessary) be required?

One other thought I had relates to the "recency" of the minimum required posts.  Is there an easy way for moderators to tell how many posts someone has made during a certain date range?  If not, than never mind.  But if so, I'd suggest that we ask:

-  Should swap participants be required to have made 25 posts in the 3 months before the sign-up deadline, in addition to meeting the other overall posting and length of membership requirements?

 

[tacehtpuekam]

One other thought I had relates to the "recency" of the minimum required posts.  Is there an easy way for moderators to tell how many posts someone has made during a certain date range?

Actually wouldn't be difficult to do this at all! (Maybe a little time consuming depending on how many participants there are, but I'd be happy to do it. I love projects!)

Basically we'd just have to go to 'my content' on the person's profile and look at the posts. There are 25 posts per page, so if we were looking for 25 posts in the last 3 months we'd just have to scroll to the bottom & look at the date on that post. Or if we were doing 50 posts, scroll to the bottom of page 2. Etc, etc. /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" /> 

 

[kawaiisofoxy]

GENIUS.  @ is a genius.  That is all.

 

[angienharry]

I have a cheap semi-smart phone (Android Straight Talk), and I have never been able to get pictures from it, to the laptop and to upload here. I do have photos posted, just not at MUT. If photos became an absolute requirement I would be forced to drop-out.

I'm hoping my written descriptions didn't hurt anyone. It hurts my heart to know that such kind and generous people have not been thanked or even acknowledged.

As your SS gifter I didn't feel upset at all that you didn't take photos. I honestly didn't remember you didn't. Words can paint a vivid picture and knowing you received the gift and that you enjoyed it is good for me!

 

[angienharry]

Ok. I'm finally caught up on this thread. I hadn't looked at this one in weeks!

I agree with the mandatory survey before being allowed to join, I have been very lucky to get very active giftees in both of my experiences and I honestly love these and am sure we can come together and have another successful SS.

A big thanks to the mods...I'm sure I have no idea how much work it is to get something like this to run smoothly-but it's great fun, so THANKS!

 

[Kristine Walker]

@@angienharry and @@yousoldtheworld , thank you both so much! It would have broken my heart if I had left you feeling slighted. I'm glad my written descriptions were enough.

  I have had such fun with my Wizard of Oz Cookbook and the Glinda palette!

 

[nolongerhere1723]

Hi all

I'm nervous to be posting this because I have never participated in secret santa or summer swap or any of those things.. But I've really enjoyed following along on the threads, and I thought it might be interesting for you guys to hear a perspective from a newer member who hopes to participate in the winter.

For all intents and purposes, you guys would probably consider me a pain to shop for. I don't participate a ton, and when I do, it tends to be in the subs or no-buy threads. I'm not super comfortable just chiming in with my opinion randomly, so when I do post, it tends to be because I have something substantial to share. If there was a minimum post requirement in a certain period, I'd worry that my number of inane, not really contributing much to the conversation would go up, just to make sure I'm hitting it. I read the forums a lot but never chime in with a "me too!" or "great haul!" etc. because I don't think they add anything to the conversation. Especially now with "liking" posts, if I like something, I just click the button. 

I'm not going to lie, watching these threads unravel, there is a very clique-ish vibe. I think the FGC one was particularly bad because you had to had participated in the winter SS, so obviously it was all older members. And I know you guys don't intend to be clique-ish AT ALL, but for someone who is a bit more introverted and awkward like me, it can be tricky to try to figure out when to jump in on the conversation. You guys all know each other so well that it can feel a little like the uninvited girl at a party standing on the edge of a circle trying to laugh along with an inside joke. I didn't follow the summer swap threads as much but really liked the questions because that helped everyone jump in.

I guess most of what I wanted to say that just because people don't participate in chat threads or have hundreds/thousands of posts doesn't mean they wouldn't really enjoy the SS process or don't participate in MUT. I am on the forums all the time reading, but I just don't always feel like I have something to say. That's just me. And it would feel kind of crappy if people that post "great box!" 10 times on the same thread got to participate and I didn't. 

I get that this might make me harder/less fun to buy for, but that's the purpose of the survey right? I'd just encourage you to keep the needs/nerves/concerns of newer and shyer users in mind. You guys are a tight knit group! If you just want to exchange gifts with your friends, then you definitely should do that and then bully for me, and that's fine! But I think the idea is to incorporate newer users and open it up to the community at large, and I'm not sure adding these different rules would accomplish that. 

 

[zadidoll]

The whole "clique" topic has been brought up by moderators to me as well. When I took over Secret Santa it was a way people to get to know each other since MUT at the time was filled with lots of members who had been around for a long time (many are no longer here) but really didn't know each other. It was also a place to give people a safe place to swap since I've seen (and participated) in Secret Santa exchanges on other sites. I don't want to turn Secret Santa into an event that prohibits or restricts newer or even shy members from posting. This is why I'm pretty sure I'm not going to change the rules to include a "must be active" requirement. The more I think about it and the more I think that's just a bad idea. So long as the person acknowledges the gift has been received - either to me, another mod who is helping me or in charge of the event and to the Secret Santa that's fine.

Last year there were issues with a couple of Secret Santas - including from one who is now banned from the site. In one case the items sent were clearly used items that came from a smoker's home. On top of it she sent the gift AFTER the Secret Santa deadline. There were a few other bad instances but that one is the one that still stands out to me because the person flat out lied to me multiple times. She eventually made off with a circular swap box which forced me to ban her account due to a swap theft.

With October just a few weeks away I'll have a more formal list of rules up. I think we'll soon have the poll questions up to see what rules we're modifying or adding/removing this year. By September I think.

 

[kawaiiwoofs]

@ - I agree with your entire post. Thank you for sharing!