# How do you stay in touch? (long distance relations)



## beautynista (Oct 9, 2006)

I'm in a long distance relationship, and have been so for almost a year and a half now...but since i have moved countries, staying in touch is becoming a lot harder and way more expensive. We use to chat on the phone all the time! Now we chat on the phone like once a week






Anyway, just wondering...if you're in a long distance relationship or have ever been in one, how did you stay in touch? what was/is your primary source of contact with each other? and how often do you speak/chat?


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## speerrituall1 (Oct 9, 2006)

Video disk with or without cassette letter. If both of you have internet, look into an internet phone service and a camera.


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## Little_Lisa (Oct 9, 2006)

I've never been in one. I always thought it would be hard but people make them work all the time.


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## Aquilah (Oct 9, 2006)

John and I were in one for a while, and spoke on the phone nightly. I also sent him letters, and during the time we were apart before I got here in NY, I sent him a small card every week. If you're in different countries, check into international phone cards (1st-usa.com is good), or there's also Skype, which supposedly offers free Internet phone calls.


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## girl_geek (Oct 10, 2006)

My ex and I were long distance for a summer, and we used instant messanger every night and called each other once a week. But I would caution against using too much IM (even though it's free), because it's just not the same as hearing each other's voice. Even though we were "talking" every night, we weren't really "communicating" -- our IM chats always disentigrated into just silly talk, and we weren't getting any closer to each other -- if anything, during that summer was when we first started to draw apart, and finally in October we broke up.

Sorry that this is such a discouraging post, but I just wanted to warn you against too much Internet chat! Now maybe if you can keep your conversations more on-topic and meaningful it will still work, but we weren't able to do that. But maybe that's just a sign that we weren't right for each other, that we couldn't have many meaningful conversations long-distance!


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## Jennifer (Oct 10, 2006)

i'm in a LDR and we're 22 hours apart. we talk every day, except when he's at work and he's not allowed to use his phone for 2 weeks. i just got cingular (cell phone carrier, in case you don't know) and he has cingular, which means it's free to talk to each other. online, we barely talk because 1. we always end up fighting (take things the wrong way) and 2. we know we can talk on the phone, so we just BS.

where does your boytoy live, if you don't mind me asking? definitely try skype! you both need to have it in order for it to be free.


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## bluebird26 (Oct 10, 2006)

When we were away or when he goes on business trips, we use instant messenger or the phone.


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## Andi (Oct 10, 2006)

I heard skype has bad connections and disconnects itselfs frequently.

I live in Europe, my fiancÃ© in the US...and as it looks it will be like this for the next 3 years (although he said he MIGHT be able to move to Austria for a certain time and work here but this is is gonna be a tough decision to make). Over summer the situation was hard, we could only talk on IM maybe once a week, thatÂ´s it!

Now we talk on IM (with webcam and we use the free calling function until the conncetion breaks down after like 10min LOL) every night or every other night which requires for me to stay up later than I should because of the time difference. I call him once or twice every time IÂ´m at my parnents house (so they pay the pill LOL), secretly, at night when theyÂ´re in bed.

How we make it work? We tell each other EVERYTHING. I know how his daily life is, I know when he gets up in the morning and what he had for dinner, when he needs to eat he gets his food, gets in bed and points the cam at him so I can watch him eat and watch TV. Also I send him pics frequently (I can use my MuT FOTDs for that, hehe) and tell him every single stupid boring detail of my days. He still tells me IÂ´m beautiful everytime he sees me on webcam (even when itÂ´s a sleepy me with no makeup on at 3am European time LOL) and sometimes IÂ´ll even put on makeup just cause I know IÂ´ll have a cam session with him, hehe.

ItÂ´s a lot easier since I visited him the first time though so I know all his friends, his new house, his town, IÂ´ve been to his work...so it feels like I know exactly what he does all the time. Not for getting a feeling of control or anything, just to imagine his everyday life and feel like I`m there with him.

Plus, as soon as IÂ´m back "home" in Austria again we make plans for the next visit as soon as possible. From then on I count the days (as you can see in my signature LOL) which helps me to stay positive thinking that IÂ´ll see him again soon so thereÂ´s no need for me to cry myself to sleep at night.

Man that was still a depressing post for me, LMAO!!!!


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## vanilla_sky (Oct 10, 2006)

I used to be in one for three years... it was different countries, over the seas, so we only seen ach other two times a year. we called each other, sent letters, but most of all, we talked on messenger at least 5 days a week (we knew each other's schedules, so we always had time set for this), and we sent emails daily. if I couldnt send him email, i would send a text message from internet site on his cell phone, so he wouldnt be worried... things like that. we used to chat on internet for hours, sharing the smallest details of our daily lives.

but eventually we grew too much apart though, cause we each had different life, different worlds... so it fell apart. but it's just my personal experience and it was worth a try... I know it works for some people. Best of luck


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## beautynista (Oct 10, 2006)

Thank you all for replying, your responses are much appreciated!

Originally Posted by *girl_geek* /img/forum/go_quote.gif My ex and I were long distance for a summer, and we used instant messanger every night and called each other once a week. But I would caution against using too much IM (even though it's free), because it's just not the same as hearing each other's voice. Even though we were "talking" every night, we weren't really "communicating" -- our IM chats always disentigrated into just silly talk, and we weren't getting any closer to each other -- if anything, during that summer was when we first started to draw apart, and finally in October we broke up.
Sorry that this is such a discouraging post, but I just wanted to warn you against too much Internet chat! Now maybe if you can keep your conversations more on-topic and meaningful it will still work, but we weren't able to do that. But maybe that's just a sign that we weren't right for each other, that we couldn't have many meaningful conversations long-distance!

This is one of our main problems right now. We really really hate IM because we always misunderstand each other, and conversations become petty and tedious. What you said is so true!

Originally Posted by *Jennifer* /img/forum/go_quote.gif i'm in a LDR and we're 22 hours apart. we talk every day, except when he's at work and he's not allowed to use his phone for 2 weeks. i just got cingular (cell phone carrier, in case you don't know) and he has cingular, which means it's free to talk to each other. online, we barely talk because 1. we always end up fighting (take things the wrong way) and 2. we know we can talk on the phone, so we just BS.
where does your boytoy live, if you don't mind me asking? definitely try skype! you both need to have it in order for it to be free.

Jen, I totally understand your situtation. My 'boytoy' lol...lives in London, England. When I was in Canada, calls were really cheap. He had discounts on long distance calls, so he always called me, as though he was living in the same city! But right now, i'm temporarily staying in the Middle East and calls are SUPER expensive so we never talk on the phone, and our IM convos are pathetic cuz we always end up arguing and misunderstanding each other! I'm definitely going to try Skype.
Good luck to us both!!





Originally Posted by *Andi* /img/forum/go_quote.gif I heard skype has bad connections and disconnects itselfs frequently.I live in Europe, my fiancÃ© in the US...and as it looks it will be like this for the next 3 years (although he said he MIGHT be able to move to Austria for a certain time and work here but this is is gonna be a tough decision to make). Over summer the situation was hard, we could only talk on IM maybe once a week, thatÂ´s it!

Now we talk on IM (with webcam and we use the free calling function until the conncetion breaks down after like 10min LOL) every night or every other night which requires for me to stay up later than I should because of the time difference. I call him once or twice every time IÂ´m at my parnents house (so they pay the pill LOL), secretly, at night when theyÂ´re in bed.

How we make it work? We tell each other EVERYTHING. I know how his daily life is, I know when he gets up in the morning and what he had for dinner, when he needs to eat he gets his food, gets in bed and points the cam at him so I can watch him eat and watch TV. Also I send him pics frequently (I can use my MuT FOTDs for that, hehe) and tell him every single stupid boring detail of my days. He still tells me IÂ´m beautiful everytime he sees me on webcam (even when itÂ´s a sleepy me with no makeup on at 3am European time LOL) and sometimes IÂ´ll even put on makeup just cause I know IÂ´ll have a cam session with him, hehe.

ItÂ´s a lot easier since I visited him the first time though so I know all his friends, his new house, his town, IÂ´ve been to his work...so it feels like I know exactly what he does all the time. Not for getting a feeling of control or anything, just to imagine his everyday life and feel like I`m there with him.

Plus, as soon as IÂ´m back "home" in Austria again we make plans for the next visit as soon as possible. From then on I count the days (as you can see in my signature LOL) which helps me to stay positive thinking that IÂ´ll see him again soon so thereÂ´s no need for me to cry myself to sleep at night.

Man that was still a depressing post for me, LMAO!!!!

I used to do that all the time, whenever I know we're going to use webcam I used to put a little MU on hehe. When i lived in Canada, that's what we did...we use to use the webcam everyday and talk bout every detail in our daily life, which really helped. It seems we're just going through one of those difficult phases! Your post was fun to read, it made me feel better! Thanks a lot. Good luck to you!!


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## pinkbundles (Oct 10, 2006)

if you really want it to work, then i guess you can.

my cousin and her bf dated long distance for three years. they got married this summer and are now together. they really made me believe in that stuff.


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## han (Oct 10, 2006)

wow it is amazeing the people that can make it work i just dont think i could when my husband was in the military and gone all the time it sux im glad those days are over and what is skype i mean i seen pop ups for it is it a chat line or what


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## Jennifer (Oct 11, 2006)

Originally Posted by *beautynista* /img/forum/go_quote.gif Jen, I totally understand your situtation. My 'boytoy' lol...lives in London, England. When I was in Canada, calls were really cheap. He had discounts on long distance calls, so he always called me, as though he was living in the same city! But right now, i'm temporarily staying in the Middle East and calls are SUPER expensive so we never talk on the phone, and our IM convos are pathetic cuz we always end up arguing and misunderstanding each other! I'm definitely going to try Skype.
Good luck to us both!!





oh, wow. that sucks you're SO far apart



good luck


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## tadzio79 (Oct 14, 2006)

I went away to school for 2 years from my hubby. (just got back - yay!!!) distance-wise, guess it wasn't as bad - we were in the same state, me near Sacramento, CA and him in Los Angeles (about 6 hours apart driving). I got to see him during break right after finals, which came down to about 3-4 times a year.

I agree with Andi. we had cingular, and we were on the phone like 20 times a day, sometimes lasting less than a minute just to say good morning or good night. We would tell each other's boring details of the day, and we just lit up whenever we heard each other's voices. my hubby is not computer savvy (in fact never online lol), so we just relied on phone calls. Granted, there is a marital commitment on top of it, so i suppose it was another factor that helped.

I wish you all the best, and hang in there!!!!


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## beautynista (Oct 17, 2006)

Originally Posted by *tadzio79* /img/forum/go_quote.gif I went away to school for 2 years from my hubby. (just got back - yay!!!) distance-wise, guess it wasn't as bad - we were in the same state, me near Sacramento, CA and him in Los Angeles (about 6 hours apart driving). I got to see him during break right after finals, which came down to about 3-4 times a year.
I agree with Andi. we had cingular, and we were on the phone like 20 times a day, sometimes lasting less than a minute just to say good morning or good night. We would tell each other's boring details of the day, and we just lit up whenever we heard each other's voices. my hubby is not computer savvy (in fact never online lol), so we just relied on phone calls. Granted, there is a marital commitment on top of it, so i suppose it was another factor that helped.

I wish you all the best, and hang in there!!!!





Thanks so much for your response. It honestly made me feel better! That musta been so hard for you, considering you were married, you're strong! ty





Originally Posted by *pinkbundles* /img/forum/go_quote.gif my cousin and her bf dated long distance for three years. they got married this summer and are now together. they really made me believe in that stuff. Wow, that's so good to know!


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## lovelyarsenic (Oct 18, 2006)

My boyfriend currently works on the slope, so he is gone for 3 weeks at a time. When he is at work we usually talk on the phone twice a day, and then sometimes we IM each other in the same day as well, so there is definitely a lot of communication going on between us. Even if the conversation is lacking, I think it really helps both of us just to be able to hear each other's voices. The good part of working for 3 weeks straight away from home though is that when he comes back , he has 3 weeks off - and he doesn't have to work at all!!


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## beautynista (Oct 19, 2006)

Originally Posted by *lovelyarsenic* /img/forum/go_quote.gif My boyfriend currently works on the slope, so he is gone for 3 weeks at a time. When he is at work we usually talk on the phone twice a day, and then sometimes we IM each other in the same day as well, so there is definitely a lot of communication going on between us. Even if the conversation is lacking, I think it really helps both of us just to be able to hear each other's voices. The good part of working for 3 weeks straight away from home though is that when he comes back , he has 3 weeks off - and he doesn't have to work at all!! So the suffering does pay off (3 weeks of no work)! Thanks for your response


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## Jennifer (Oct 20, 2006)

Originally Posted by *lovelyarsenic* /img/forum/go_quote.gif My boyfriend currently works on the slope, so he is gone for 3 weeks at a time. When he is at work we usually talk on the phone twice a day, and then sometimes we IM each other in the same day as well, so there is definitely a lot of communication going on between us. Even if the conversation is lacking, I think it really helps both of us just to be able to hear each other's voices. The good part of working for 3 weeks straight away from home though is that when he comes back , he has 3 weeks off - and he doesn't have to work at all!! my boyfriend works 2 weeks on and then 2 weeks off! we don't get to speak when he's at work, though



he works on a stupid rig.


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## cutegirl (Nov 15, 2006)

it's really hard i'm away from my hubby i miss him alot can't wait for jan i'll be back .

it's first time to be away and i call him twice a week but he keep calling every night before he sleep (he don't care how much it cost )that's what he says when i ask him to stop calling every night it's really expensive.


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## katrosier (Nov 15, 2006)

Emailing , Calling and webcaming .


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## CellyCell (Dec 13, 2006)

Was currently in one.

I'm here in the US. He's from Wales, UK.

We IMed one another everyday for hours and hours on end - then it progressed to phone calls, like few times a week.

But recently - it just went kaputz. Too much arguments, and I think it solely was because of IM. Just get too confused and mislead a lot of stuff to one another. On phone or whatever, we were completely fine.

We're not talking no more. Hopefully, he'll change his attitude.

BTW, we haven't met yet - but we've been talking for well over 7 months. &amp; I was saving up to see him next Summer.


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