# What does marriage mean to you?



## KimC2005

I am writing a marriage contract for my Marriage class at college. One of the questions it wants answered is what does marriage mean to you? I thought it would be neat to get some feedback from you guys about what you think marriage means.

BTW. I am not including anyone elses answers in my contract.


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## Dragonfly

A successful marriage means friendship, honour, respect, humour and sharing the same values.


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## Princess6828

I think marriage is the most special bond that you can share with someone else. It is made of love, faithfulness, trust, honesty, friendship. It means to me essentially "becoming one" with the other person. Ohhh...I can't wait!


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## AngelaGM

Wow what an interesting and deeply thought provoking question!!! I will answer it fully when I think of a good enough answer to this excellent question




))


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## Anna

marriage is finding out that something as insignificant as how you get toothpaste out of the tube can turn into a world war. no its...marriage doesnt change things it just puts a label on what allready exists.love.passion.trust.comfort.balance.understa nding.buyig cookie dough ice cream eatting the cookie dough while he eats the ice cream. when you go for dinner and yours is utterly horriable its tradeing dinners. its learning to cook so he stops eatting frozen dinners and pizzas.accepting the fact that your wife really doesnt know how to work the dishwasher or mop floors and doing it yourself.its slathering vaseline on his face so when you look good he looks good. its spending hours in guitar center and being rewarded with him speding 3 days pay in mac. its knowing that when it snows he starts your car and brushes it off so its warm when you get in. takeing him to get a pedicure and finding out he likes it and not telling his friends. its staying in bed on a cold sunday morning and snuggleing and not leaving the bed. its rolling over after a bad dream and having someone hold you and look in the closet and under the bed for monsters. not being mad when you have to get a new dvd player every other month because your wife fries it. its sharing your shampoo and hair stuff with him cause he likes the way it smells. its showing him how to comb his hair and takeing him for highlites and him running around the coach store trying to find the perfect purse for the pickiest woman on earth who has everything.its calling him to scream"JULIA DID IT WITH THE MIDGET SHE FCUKED THE MIDGET JEFF SHE DID THE MIDGET!!" after nip/tuck because you just cant deal with it and lisa wants to hit you because she doesnt know what youre talking about.its him offering to take off work to go to the dr with you. its...no matter what happends no matter what you still love him...lisa i answered my own questions in this post


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## WhitneyF

Marriage is a commitment of two people who decide that they are incomplete without each other and that they're gonna make it through this wretched world together with love.

Man, that felt cheesy.


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## KimC2005

I love these responses. My answer was much cheesier than that Whitney. I thought doing this marriage contract thing would be easy, and in my heart I know what I want, but typing it out is SOO hard!


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## jessimau

Oh wow, my answer's not that good, but here goes:

To me, marriage is the ultimate commitment. It's how you show each other and the world that you love this person THAT much, it's your declaration that you want to go through life with that person, and only that person, growing old together. It's saying that no matter what comes your way, you want that person by your side to help you face them and you're willing to work through the issues that come up between the two of you. It's the ultimate declaration of love.


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## empericalbeauty

Marraige is an ever lasting commitment you make with someone. It is the coming together of 2 souls to form 1. It is beautiful.


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## dlwt2003

Originally Posted by *WhitneyF* /img/forum/go_quote.gif Marriage is a commitment of two people who decide that they are incomplete without each other and that they're gonna make it through this wretched world together with love. Man, that felt cheesy.

May be cheesey but I love it. I think a marriage is that 2 people want to face the world together as lovers and friends.
I also got to think the big one growing old together is also pretty cool. I want to spend the rest of my life with dh because he "helps" make me complete.


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## Aquilah

Oh wow! This is a toughie! I'll be honest with you, since John and I got married, our relationship has stayed the same, but somehow we feel a lot closer... I'm not even sure how to describe what it is or how it feels... What it means... I'm gonna have to think more to give a proper answer...


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## Saja

Originally Posted by *bejb1011* /img/forum/go_quote.gif marriage is finding out that something as insignificant as how you get toothpaste out of the tube can turn into a world war. no its...marriage doesnt change things it just puts a label on what allready exists.love.passion.trust.comfort.balance.understa nding.buyig cookie dough ice cream eatting the cookie dough while he eats the ice cream. when you go for dinner and yours is utterly horriable its tradeing dinners. its learning to cook so he stops eatting frozen dinners and pizzas.accepting the fact that your wife really doesnt know how to work the dishwasher or mop floors and doing it yourself.its slathering vaseline on his face so when you look good he looks good. its spending hours in guitar center and being rewarded with him speding 3 days pay in mac. its knowing that when it snows he starts your car and brushes it off so its warm when you get in. takeing him to get a pedicure and finding out he likes it and not telling his friends. its staying in bed on a cold sunday morning and snuggleing and not leaving the bed. its rolling over after a bad dream and having someone hold you and look in the closet and under the bed for monsters. not being mad when you have to get a new dvd player every other month because your wife fries it. its sharing your shampoo and hair stuff with him cause he likes the way it smells. its showing him how to comb his hair and takeing him for highlites and him running around the coach store trying to find the perfect purse for the pickiest woman on earth who has everything.its calling him to scream"JULIA DID IT WITH THE MIDGET SHE FCUKED THE MIDGET JEFF SHE DID THE MIDGET!!" after nip/tuck because you just cant deal with it and lisa wants to hit you because she doesnt know what youre talking about.its him offering to take off work to go to the dr with you. its...no matter what happends no matter what you still love him...lisa i answered my own questions in this post Pretty sure thats the best answer ever!


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## Little_Lisa

Originally Posted by *bejb1011* /img/forum/go_quote.gif marriage is finding out that something as insignificant as how you get toothpaste out of the tube can turn into a world war. no its...marriage doesnt change things it just puts a label on what allready exists.love.passion.trust.comfort.balance.understa nding.buyig cookie dough ice cream eatting the cookie dough while he eats the ice cream. when you go for dinner and yours is utterly horriable its tradeing dinners. its learning to cook so he stops eatting frozen dinners and pizzas.accepting the fact that your wife really doesnt know how to work the dishwasher or mop floors and doing it yourself.its slathering vaseline on his face so when you look good he looks good. its spending hours in guitar center and being rewarded with him speding 3 days pay in mac. its knowing that when it snows he starts your car and brushes it off so its warm when you get in. takeing him to get a pedicure and finding out he likes it and not telling his friends. its staying in bed on a cold sunday morning and snuggleing and not leaving the bed. its rolling over after a bad dream and having someone hold you and look in the closet and under the bed for monsters. not being mad when you have to get a new dvd player every other month because your wife fries it. its sharing your shampoo and hair stuff with him cause he likes the way it smells. its showing him how to comb his hair and takeing him for highlites and him running around the coach store trying to find the perfect purse for the pickiest woman on earth who has everything.its calling him to scream"JULIA DID IT WITH THE MIDGET SHE FCUKED THE MIDGET JEFF SHE DID THE MIDGET!!" after nip/tuck because you just cant deal with it and lisa wants to hit you because she doesnt know what youre talking about.its him offering to take off work to go to the dr with you. its...no matter what happends no matter what you still love him...lisa i answered my own questions in this post LOL Awww, that's really sweet and it definitely sounds like there's no doubt in your mind you love Jeff!

I think marriage can fill a void caused by loneliness or despair. It can satisfy our inborn craving for love, companionship, and intimacy. While it can and does solve some problems....it will introduce some new ones too. This is because marriage is the blending of two distinct personalities that are perhaps compatible but hardly identical. 

Every marriage has it's own unique challenges and problems. The question is not whether they will arise but how to face them when they do. Such problems give marriage partners opportunity to show the genuineness of their love for each other. It's these trials that prove the strength of a marriage bond. This is where commitment comes into play and provides a basis for confidence that, come what may, you will support each other.

Marriage takes constant effort and work and let me tell you....it's not always easy but it is very rewarding. One of my favorite scriptures from the bible that I think all marriages can benefit from following is 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 which says, 

"Love is long-suffering and kind. Love is not jealous, it does not brag, does not get puffed up, does not behave indecently, does not look for its own interests, does not become provoked. It does not keep account of the injury. It does not rejoice over unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails."


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## Sonia_K

Wow..some really nice answers!!

Bejb1011 - That's really sweet.

I think marriage is finding the person who's faults you can live with and then loving them unconditionaly for as long as you live. (Cheesy


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## girl_geek

All very good answers!

I think Lisa's Bible quote is a great description of what love is, and of course love is probably the biggest component of marriage! However, I've also always believed that true love (and thus marriage) is not just feelings, but involves a conscious commitment -- a commitment to stay together and work things out even when you don't "feel" in love. *If I had to choose just one word that described marriage, it would be commitment!*

A lot of bejb's answers also describe the self sacrifice that I think is essential for a healthy marriage. In the best marriages, each person puts their spouse first and themselves second! But that also goes along with commitment, you can't commit to a person very well if you are always thinking of yourself first!

However, I do think that marriage is something different than other kinds of romantic relationships. I hear a lot of people say that marriage is "just a piece of paper" and that it doesn't matter if you get married because nothing changes after marriage, and I don't like that idea! I've always thought that marriage was not only a legal state, but also a spiritual state as well -- you know, "holy matrimony" and all that



We spoke our vows not only before our pastor and the guests, but also before God!

I also think that sex should be saved for marriage, so there's another reason that marriage is special


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## StrangerNMist

Well said everyone, well said.


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## empericalbeauty

Originally Posted by *bejb1011* /img/forum/go_quote.gif marriage is finding out that something as insignificant as how you get toothpaste out of the tube can turn into a world war. no its...marriage doesnt change things it just puts a label on what allready exists.love.passion.trust.comfort.balance.understa nding.buyig cookie dough ice cream eatting the cookie dough while he eats the ice cream. when you go for dinner and yours is utterly horriable its tradeing dinners. its learning to cook so he stops eatting frozen dinners and pizzas.accepting the fact that your wife really doesnt know how to work the dishwasher or mop floors and doing it yourself.its slathering vaseline on his face so when you look good he looks good. its spending hours in guitar center and being rewarded with him speding 3 days pay in mac. its knowing that when it snows he starts your car and brushes it off so its warm when you get in. takeing him to get a pedicure and finding out he likes it and not telling his friends. its staying in bed on a cold sunday morning and snuggleing and not leaving the bed. its rolling over after a bad dream and having someone hold you and look in the closet and under the bed for monsters. not being mad when you have to get a new dvd player every other month because your wife fries it. its sharing your shampoo and hair stuff with him cause he likes the way it smells. its showing him how to comb his hair and takeing him for highlites and him running around the coach store trying to find the perfect purse for the pickiest woman on earth who has everything.its calling him to scream"JULIA DID IT WITH THE MIDGET SHE FCUKED THE MIDGET JEFF SHE DID THE MIDGET!!" after nip/tuck because you just cant deal with it and lisa wants to hit you because she doesnt know what youre talking about.its him offering to take off work to go to the dr with you. its...no matter what happends no matter what you still love him...lisa i answered my own questions in this post Omg! thats so touching. I just had this great urge to crawl into bed with Chris..and not have sex..but just...talk..let him Know I care..
::tears up::


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## Anna

Originally Posted by *empericalbeauty* /img/forum/go_quote.gif Omg! thats so touching. I just had this great urge to crawl into bed with Chris..and not have sex..but just...talk..let him Know I care..
::tears up::

the get off mut and go do it!1


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## Jennifer

awwwwwww. the sweetest answers.

i loved yours, anna! very cute





marriage, to me, is...

to be continued.


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## ivette

love, honesty, commitment, companionship, and support


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## AprilRayne

Okay, is anyone else crying right now and wants to go jump into their hubby's arms? Marriage is so amazing! Whenever I'm feeling down on myself, like I'm ugly, fat, etc. etc. All I have to do is tell myself that the most amazing guy in the world thinks I'm good enough, more than good enough, and wants to spend eternity with me! That's an amazing confidence booster!


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## Harlot

Man, sorry if I sound jaded but I dont really believe in marriage. Church-wise I mean. I was brought up with every single marriage I knew ending in shambles before my eyes. And usually jealousy rises to a whole nother level and stuff happens, its a pain in the ass. No, you dont need know where Im going every hour, who Im going with be it dude or chick, how Im dressing. Eventually that will happen and its just a mess.


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## girl_geek

Originally Posted by *Harlot* /img/forum/go_quote.gif Man, sorry if I sound jaded but I dont really believe in marriage. Church-wise I mean. I was brought up with every single marriage I knew ending in shambles before my eyes. And usually jealousy rises to a whole nother level and stuff happens, its a pain in the ass. No, you dont need know where Im going every hour, who Im going with be it dude or chick, how Im dressing. Eventually that will happen and its just a mess. I'm sorry you feel that way, because I guarantee you that not every marriage is like that! I guess you've only been exposed to bad marriages which is sad





And actually, I would think that in a happy relationship you would want to know what the other person is doing and who they're with all the time -- not because you are jealous or want to control your spouse, but because you truly care for them and are interested in their life! Hubby and I always know what the other person is doing and who they're with, and it's no big deal to us -- we never try to stop the other person from doing what they want, we just want to know what's going on! And I want him to know -- one of the reasons I married him is because I want someone to share my life with! I want to come home at night and tell him about my day!





As for clothes, well, hubby compliments me on my clothes but he's never made a comment about not liking my clothes or not wanting me to go out dressed like I am! Same thing for me -- I may occasionally tell him to dress a little nicer for a special occasion, but otherwise he can wear what he wants!



Again, a healthy relationship shouldn't be controlling!

And might I add that you don't have to be married to start asking about or even controlling what your partner is doing all the time -- there are plenty of dating couples who have those issues! In fact, I really doubt that getting married will suddenly make a person more controlling, I think that at least in most cases, you would see hints of that controlling nature before you got married.... I guess sometimes people are good about hiding who they really are before they get married, but I doubt that's the norm!


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## pinkbundles

i think that although love and commitment plays a huge part in its success, i think there are other aspects of it that are equally important.

for one, friendship. your spouse should be someone you can confide in with your innermost thoughts and not feel embarrassed or guilty.

second, passion. remember how he won you over? the flowers. the quiet walks. the romantic dinners/getaways. the love letters. the long talks. all those things you need to keep up to avoid feeling a void when those things don't happen anymore or are becoming less often.

third, financial stability. nothing causes more tension than being broke or having just enough to get by. i don't know what else to say about it except that it sucks (single or married).

four, space. i love spending time with my hubby. it's the most fun i have. but believe me when i say that i also have the best of time away from him. it makes me miss him and it's good for my own sanity.

five, have independence. just knowing that you can stand on your own two feet if you ever had to is comforting enough.

there's more i'm sure, but these are what stand out to me.


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## Harlot

Originally Posted by *girl_geek* /img/forum/go_quote.gif I'm sorry you feel that way, because I guarantee you that not every marriage is like that! I guess you've only been exposed to bad marriages which is sad




And actually, I would think that in a happy relationship you would want to know what the other person is doing and who they're with all the time -- not because you are jealous or want to control your spouse, but because you truly care for them and are interested in their life! Hubby and I always know what the other person is doing and who they're with, and it's no big deal to us -- we never try to stop the other person from doing what they want, we just want to know what's going on! And I want him to know -- one of the reasons I married him is because I want someone to share my life with! I want to come home at night and tell him about my day!





I know that may be the reason why Im jaded and skeptical. And its true, not all couples have to be jealous in order to ask certain questions and stuff, but to me its wierd. Im not sure if anyone can really understand where Im coming from, Im just eclectic and wierd  and Im very happy for you that you found someone that feels right, I wish you the best.


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## girl_geek

Originally Posted by *Harlot* /img/forum/go_quote.gif I know that may be the reason why Im jaded and skeptical. And its true, not all couples have to be jealous in order to ask certain questions and stuff, but to me its wierd. Im not sure if anyone can really understand where Im coming from, Im just eclectic and wierd  and Im very happy for you that you found someone that feels right, I wish you the best. Hey, no problem, I am weird too, just about other things


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## Stitch

Originally Posted by *cyw1* /img/forum/go_quote.gif A successful marriage means friendship, honour, respect, humour and sharing the same values. That would be it.


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## Intrigue

Marriage is important.

Happiness, trust, honesty, love, secureness...all go together


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## cutee

Marraige is an ever lasting commitment you make with someone


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## CuTeLiCiOuS

Mentally - being compatable, level or balance each other, open dialect, conversatating

Physical- attraction

Spirituality- love, understanding each other, loyality


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## daer0n

Originally Posted by *Little_Lisa* /img/forum/go_quote.gif LOL Awww, that's really sweet and it definitely sounds like there's no doubt in your mind you love Jeff!

I think marriage can fill a void caused by loneliness or despair. It can satisfy our inborn craving for love, companionship, and intimacy. While it can and does solve some problems....it will introduce some new ones too. This is because marriage is the blending of two distinct personalities that are perhaps compatible but hardly identical. 

Every marriage has it's own unique challenges and problems. The question is not whether they will arise but how to face them when they do. Such problems give marriage partners opportunity to show the genuineness of their love for each other. It's these trials that prove the strength of a marriage bond. This is where commitment comes into play and provides a basis for confidence that, come what may, you will support each other.

Marriage takes constant effort and work and let me tell you....it's not always easy but it is very rewarding. One of my favorite scriptures from the bible that I think all marriages can benefit from following is 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 which says, 

"Love is long-suffering and kind. Love is not jealous, it does not brag, does not get puffed up, does not behave indecently, does not look for its own interests, does not become provoked. It does not keep account of the injury. It does not rejoice over unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails."

I totally agree with you both.Lisa, i really love the way you have put it, and specially how you said "marriage is the blending of two distinct personalities that are perhaps compatible but hardly identical".

i think your answer is by far the one that describes marriage the best. Also, that verse of Corinthians is my signature on my hotmail account


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## ling07

it means that you are stuck with each other forever, so choose wisely ,he/she better be pretty damn liveable


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## Jennifer

Originally Posted by *ling07* /img/forum/go_quote.gif it means that you are stuck with each other forever, so choose wisely ,he/she better be pretty damn liveable lmao! nicely said.


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## veilchen

Originally Posted by *girl_geek* /img/forum/go_quote.gif I've also always believed that true love (and thus marriage) is not just feelings, but involves a conscious commitment -- a commitment to stay together and work things out even when you don't "feel" in love. *If I had to choose just one word that described marriage, it would be commitment!* That is just what I thought! Although I have to say that I can't speak from experience as I'm not married. But I believe it means having someone to back you up, no matter what. To support you and stand by you, no matter what. Even if things are not always perfect and funny and comfortable - this is the way my parents and grand-parents live their marriage: for better or worse, no matter what. I hope I that one fine day I can say that of me as well ...


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## MacForMe

I didn't read thru ALL the posts.. but marriage is NOT a piece of paper.. a "marriage" is the state of a union, up and down, good and bad, fights and laughter.. and the big one.. COMPROMISE.. Its being considerate of another no matter what YOUR wants are.. its fighting fairly and managing anger.. loving unconditionally.. I think you get the point..

I was married and now .. not anymore.. Because HE didn't understand half of that. It really boggles my mind when people get married and claim its for the "piece of paper".. thats called a LICENSE.. that makes your union legal.. its does NOT make a "marriage'.. Or celebs that are married and divorced faster then it takes me to pee..


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## miss_makeup

Marriage is a Paradise and a hell. Marriage is a dream and nightmare:-

a paradise when everything is fine.

a hell when there is a fight or affair.

a dream before they married.

a nightmare when the woman got pregnant.

there is nothing called a PREFECT MARRIAGE.

this is my dark opinion

but 99% is so true


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## Kookie-for-COCO

I am speechless for once in my life. I need to think. This is a deep one. Marriage is beautiful. A union of two souls into one. Sharing joy, feeling each other's pain, crying together, finishing each other's sentences. Marriage is wonderful--after 30 years--yes, it still is wonderful.


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## hushabye

Originally Posted by *cyw1* /img/forum/go_quote.gif A successful marriage means friendship, honour, respect, humour and sharing the same values. right on................................


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## FeverDream

I look at my parents as the greatest example of marriage possible. If I had to ask them to sum up marriage in one word, I know it would be TRUST. My mom mentions a lot how she trusts my dad with her life, and that's a powerful feeling to have. I know that's one of the things they really value. They aren't overt and demonstrative with their love, kissing in public or having their hands all over each other. They just like to sit in front of the fire at night and hold hands, and it's the sweetest thing to see. I don't really know what to say about them, just that they are the gold standard for 2 people in love.

Unfortunately, I don't really see marriage happening for me. No man will ever be as wonderful as my father is - they just don't make em like that anymore. I know I would compare every guy to him, and they would all fall short. That's just one reason, among others, but it's a big one for me. I like being alone right now, and hopefully I'll continue to feel that way, so I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything.


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## La_Descarada

A headache that I'm going to try to hold off on for as many years as possible?

It's complicated - from my POV. As of right now, of the things I've seen - it means:

1) A word

2) A promise

3) A ring

4) A document

And all of the above can easilybe forgotten depending on the people, of course.

I've dated older guys that, at the time, were married and their wives were none the wiser. Did they really show/express any remorse about what they were doing? Nah - not really - and neither did I.

I look around and I see friends and relatives and majority of them are in marital situations that I would not want to be in - be it a lazy husband who doesn't want to work, kids, money problems, etc. I look at them and I think to myself, "Why would you want to be tied down at such a young age, or any age at all"? To give up your life and dedicate it to a guy and have kids. And the kids - don't even get me started. I'm happy with just babysitting. I feel like there is no way I could totally dedicate myself like my mom does. And there is no way in hell that I would want to take orders from some man, having to cook and clean for someone else, etc. Granted, I know it doesn't have to be that way - but if it was - it's something I'd rather avoid.

I'm stubborn as a mule and I'm a brat who loves to spend money on herself. I like to work hard for the things I have and to earn things for myself. I like not having to answer to anyone or be running around every five minutes because, "my husband this" or "my kids" that.

I also avoid it because almost everyone I know has gotten married or had kids at a young age and I honestly don't want that for myself. It may be okay for others - but I don't want that sort of responsibility when I'm still a kid myself. Some of my relatives give me crap about being 22 and not being married yet - hell even one of my cousins last year told me I was a lesbian because I haven't gotten married "nor are you making an effort to look for a husband". They make it seem like a woman's goal in life is to hit puberty and pop out kids every year afterwards. Bah. Granted, I probably have this jaded POV based on what I've seen around me and the stupid things I've done. (And yes, those stupid, stupid days are behind me now.)

I guess I'd have to meet a super-ordinary perfect male that would make me re-consider and completely change the way I think.

I'm weird. Yeah. I know.


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## Lain_knights

Only a title and financial advantages.

We don't need this to say that we love each others, do we ? If we are together, it is because we already share the same values.


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## jdepp_84

I would have to say the only thing that comes to mind is Commitment, bit scary commitment. But thats just me.


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