# anxiety and friendship



## luvyababygirl (Sep 26, 2005)

i have an anxiety disorder that can be pretty bad sometimes. well- i was going to visit my friend of 9 years who i hadn't seen for about a year. well- in that year my anxiety had gotten worse than she had ever seen (like not wanting to be in big crowds, or having to leave stores because i feel light headed). well- i could sense tension from her but blew it off. then- in the car on the way home i was talking to her on my cell and we got in an argument- well she is the type that dominates the conversation and was speaking to me very condescendingly (she has done this for a while). so- i useually never speak up to her, so i sent her an e-mail the next day telling her how i felt. well- she didn't like that- she responded back by saying i was paranoid, "how can i say that to her" after all the help she has given, that i was bringing her down, and that my anxiety was a sickness that she didn't wanna be around anymore (the funny part about that being she takes paxil herself for anxiety and depression. I was SOOOOO hurt. So i guess my question is- would you ever talk to someone who said those things to you? I know she'll never apologize- and i feel i need one before i could even see her again. What do ya'll think? Thank you


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## gamaki (Sep 26, 2005)

Hi~

I am no expert on relationships but I had a really close friend end our friendship a couple years ago and although it wasn't the exact same situation, it sounds very similar. We haven't spoken in two or three years. I know there are a lot of reasons why people stop being friends and there were certainly alot of underlying problems in our situation but I must tell you that when it's all said and done, none of that matters anymore.I don't care who was right or wrong or why the friendship fell apart, I really miss her and I would love to know she is doing well and that there are no hard feelings on her side, as there are none for me. What really hurts is the thought of someone you really care about thinking that you hate them ,or even worse, the thought that perhaps they hate you.

All I know is you should never let pride get in the way of friendships. Life is short, you sometimes don't get a second chance to tell or show people how much they mean to you.


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## luvyababygirl (Sep 26, 2005)

ty for the advice- i will keep it in mind. i hope u get a chance to see your friend again.


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## phoenix461 (Sep 26, 2005)

A real friend will always be honest with u but in a nice way - not condascending. Sometimes in life, u go through things such as in ur situation and u find out who the person really is. It sounds as if u are more mature than that person. U will find more friends - real friends who will take the time to understand ur anxiety disorder and help u with it. U r right to expect an apology but, since u know that is highly unlikely for it to happen, move on and take care of urself for u!


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## Pauline (Sep 29, 2005)

Hi luvyababygirl, i have an anxiety disorder as well, so i understand what you're going through. It sounds to me that this friend of your in very unsymphathetic to your probelm (event hough she should know better being depressed herself). Sometimes people use youe problem agaisnt you, like she did saying you were paranoid.You don't need this condesending person around or in your life, with friends like that who needs enimies.

What you need is someone who understands you and treats you with respect.This girl doesn't sound very nice.At least you were brave enough to send her an email telling her how you felt.People like her will only make your illness worse and that's the last thing you need.Tell her if she can't treat you with respect you won't be hanging with her.You deserve better.

Hope you get things sorted out with her but if not, she wasn;t worth it anyway. You sound like a nice person and ime sure you will attract other nice people to you.It won't be long before you find another more compatable friend.


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## babykisses (Oct 22, 2005)

Originally Posted by *luvyababygirl* i have an anxiety disorder that can be pretty bad sometimes. well- i was going to visit my friend of 9 years who i hadn't seen for about a year. well- in that year my anxiety had gotten worse than she had ever seen (like not wanting to be in big crowds, or having to leave stores because i feel light headed). well- i could sense tension from her but blew it off. then- in the car on the way home i was talking to her on my cell and we got in an argument- well she is the type that dominates the conversation and was speaking to me very condescendingly (she has done this for a while). so- i useually never speak up to her, so i sent her an e-mail the next day telling her how i felt. well- she didn't like that- she responded back by saying i was paranoid, "how can i say that to her" after all the help she has given, that i was bringing her down, and that my anxiety was a sickness that she didn't wanna be around anymore (the funny part about that being she takes paxil herself for anxiety and depression. I was SOOOOO hurt. So i guess my question is- would you ever talk to someone who said those things to you? I know she'll never apologize- and i feel i need one before i could even see her again. What do ya'll think? Thank you



Sounds like she was quite mean to you. If she gives you an apology and you are willing to forgive her then that's great, but if she doesn't even apologize for her behaviour, forget about her.Personally if someone would talk to me that way I would drop them, no question about it!


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## luvyababygirl (Oct 24, 2005)

once again- thank you to everyone for the advice. pauline- how has your anxiety been, do u have it under control? keep me updated. u guys are the best:icon_love


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