# "I think so"



## cherryblossom13 (Mar 7, 2010)

You aren't doing anything wrong. I definitely think he is depressed. Depression will totally alter moods, sex drive, etc.

Another thing is, maybe his unemployment is hurting his ego. That is a big factor. I wish I had some advice, but I have never had to deal with this.....I totally wish you the best and PLEASE keep us updated....I mean it sounds like you are there for him......

I know some people are going to suggest that you go easier on him in his time of need, but thats's not really fair on you.He is an adult, and you shouldn't have to coddle him. i don't know how it is in Canada, but here in the U.S,people are losing jobs left and right. Put on your big boy pants and deal.

How long has he been unemployed for? Are you guys bickering non-stop?


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## emily_3383 (Mar 7, 2010)

I still think you have babied him enough. He needs to suck it up and get whatever job he can get. My SO and I went through the same thing. At first be wanted something more on his level but he realized we need food and shelter.


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## Dragonfly (Mar 7, 2010)

Before this guy, you always lived with your family.

You have a full time job and make a decent buck.

Maybe its time you moved out on your own. Then you would only have to worry about yourself. Then maybe he would grow up, get a job and become responsible.

I have no clue why you want advice on how to change and be a better person. Maybe you need to talk to a councellor and work on poor self esteem.

If you think he is screwing around, why on earth would you subject your health to his indiscretions?


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## Johnnie (Mar 7, 2010)

Agreed, you're not the one with the problem here. You shouldn't change what it is you're doing because everything is relevant. You are doing your part to keep the relationship well and alive. He seems to have the issues in this and it's his responsibility to make things better. People can only take so much sometimes and if saying goodbye is what's going to make things better for yourself then do it. It'll be hard, sure, love is tough but I think for the most part, we all learn from each relationship we're apart of.


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## Dalylah (Mar 8, 2010)

Originally Posted by *Johnnie* /img/forum/go_quote.gif Agreed, you're not the one with the problem here. You shouldn't change what it is you're doing because everything is relevant. You are doing your part to keep the relationship well and alive. He seems to have the issues in this and it's his responsibility to make things better. People can only take so much sometimes and if saying goodbye is what's going to make things better for yourself then do it. It'll be hard, sure, love is tough but I think for the most part, we all learn from each relationship we're apart of. I agree.


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## pinksugar (Mar 8, 2010)

if you have no doubt in your mind that he is cheating, and/or you feel he is pulling away because you are yelling at him etc...

you have several options. Stop yelling and see if things improve. Easier said than done but it's a possibility. Option 2 - do what Dragonfly suggested and move out on your own.

It sounds like he is causing you more stress and drama than love and happiness, and it doesn't really sound like he is contributing to your life together. Just saying.


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## Orangeeyecrayon (Mar 8, 2010)

you keep saying that you think he is depressed, but you seem to be totally ignoring that in your actions. If he is depressed he needs to get medical attention. If he is depressed he needs to get medical attention it is very hard for someone that is depressed to get them selves out of it, and while i know your intentions are in the right place your suporting him may not be enough to get him out of his depression.

I know you keep saying he just needs to get his big boy pants on and deal with it, but for anyone who has had depression that is easier said than done. I am not saying you should be easier on him, but instead of just yelling at him for not getting everything done, maybe show him some praise for what he did get done and help him to find a psychologist


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## Dragonfly (Mar 8, 2010)

Prettyflowers - do you not remember that you wrote in your opening post that he is cheating on you? This is your quote:

"There is no doubt in my mind that he is cheating on me".

I'm confused - why would you now say this: "So true! But he is not sleeping or seeing other women".

I don't mind reading your thread and trying to offer some guidance. But I don't understand why you are contradicting your own word? Or are you know saying that he is unfaithful with men? I don't get it...


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## shayy (Mar 8, 2010)

Originally Posted by *Orangeeyecrayon* /img/forum/go_quote.gif you keep saying that you think he is depressed, but you seem to be totally ignoring that in your actions. If he is depressed he needs to get medical attention. If he is depressed he needs to get medical attention it is very hard for someone that is depressed to get them selves out of it, and while i know your intentions are in the right place your suporting him may not be enough to get him out of his depression. 
I know you keep saying he just needs to get his big boy pants on and deal with it, but for anyone who has had depression that is easier said than done. I am not saying you should be easier on him, but instead of just yelling at him for not getting everything done, maybe show him some praise for what he did get done and help him to find a psychologist

i completely agree


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