# Anyone been to court/trial before?



## Shelley (Oct 9, 2007)

I'm not the one in trouble. Last summer my exbf's friend attacked me with intent to kill. Apparently my exbf payed him a large sum of money to hurt or kill me. The police did get evidence and a confession from this guy. I don't have to worry about my exbf because he killed himself not long after this happened.

Anyways I will be going to court to face this friend of his. I spoke to someone today and the court date will likely be in November or December.

I know once I go to court and face him etc it will help me move on even more. I do feel nervous not knowing what to expect.


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## BeneBaby (Oct 9, 2007)

I think this will be hard to face, but will help you get closure on this terrible thing that happened to you. Just be strong and answer all their questions honestly. I admire your courage Shelley!!


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## KellyB (Oct 9, 2007)

I have not been to court. I do hope that this brings you the closure that you need. I can't believe you had to go through that.


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## luxotika (Oct 9, 2007)

Originally Posted by *BeneBaby* /img/forum/go_quote.gif I think this will be hard to face, but will help you get closure on this terrible thing that happened to you. Just be strong and answer all their questions honestly. I admire your courage Shelley!! I agree. We'll be rooting for you!


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## la_chinita (Oct 9, 2007)

I have been to court before as the relative of someone who was accused. Yes, it would be difficult, especially because of the circumstances of what happened...the fact that it was your exbf who tried to have you killed. There's probably lots of emotions there still. I agree with Amanda...this could give you the closure you need.

Depending on who's questioning you, you gotta just expect the worst questions. Make sure you really think about your answers as some lawyers may try to get you with their yes or no questions. In my experience, I felt really trapped when the prosecutor started asking me questions that I had to answer "yes" to. I can't really elaborate, as it was a close relative of mine who was on trial.

Anyway, just be strong, don't let anyone force you into answering questions the way they want you to, and just be as truthful as possible. Let us know how it goes. We're all here for you!


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## kisska3000 (Oct 9, 2007)

i have never been to court so i don't knw the feeling but i really hope that you will get your closure.


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## han (Oct 10, 2007)

if theres a confession there really shoudnt be much to the trial, i would even bet since he did confess him and his attorney will try to get a plea bargain from the state attorney,im surprise his attorney even let it go to trial if theres edvidence and a confession, i hope all goes well and wish you luck.


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## Nox (Oct 10, 2007)

Originally Posted by *han* /img/forum/go_quote.gif if theres a confession there really shoudnt be much to the trial, i would even bet since he did confess him and his attorney will try to get a plea bargain from the state attorney,im surprise his attorney even let it go to trial if theres edvidence and a confession, i hope all goes well and wish you luck. Yes, this is what I'm thinking. Although, I do not know how the Canadian judicial system operates, I would be willing to bet that it is similar to ours and they may just opt to do a plea bargain. Kudos to you for having the courage to face this man in court.


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## Shelley (Oct 10, 2007)

Thank you everyone for your advice, support, and tips.





Han,Nox, I was surprised due to the confession etc but maybe something else going on.

I have a photographic memory so it won't be hard for me to remember the details. I will have to do my best to relax etc.


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## PaperFlowers (Oct 10, 2007)

Just remember to take care of yourself during this time. *hug*


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## Dragonfly (Oct 11, 2007)

Maybe you could meet with the lawyer who is prosecuting him or duty councel. They should be able to give you great advice as to what will occur in court.

I don't think you will have to be in the court room except when you are giving testimony. You'll wait outside of the room and someone will come and get you. Or perhaps they will have you waiting in another area so no one will try to intimidate you before you give your testimony.

Make sure you get all the dates straight so you don't contradict yourself.

Once I had to appear as a witness to a domestic dispute. I got the dates mixed up and asked them to clarify what day of the week the date coincided with. Of cource they couldn't answer my question so I was dismissed.

I hope everything goes well and this helps bring closure for you.

All the best honey


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## Karren (Oct 12, 2007)

I've been to court many times as a jurror and as a defendent in mainly corporate trials.... Most of the time it's pretty boreing with motions being made and "house keeping" going on.... the business of justice... Canadian courts may be a bit different than US ones..... But the only time that you will have to speak is if your called to testify aginst him.... Being up on the stand can be very unnerveing...

I've taken the stand 3 or 4 times.... and it's really a pain when being crossexamined by the defence.... Some lawyers are just jerks and they try their best to trip you up and dis credit you... The big thing that I have found is that if you don't remember or if you don't know... then that's what you say... "I can't remember" or 'i don't know" just tell what you do know or what you clearely remember.... But I assume that the prossacution has already or will soon talk to you as to what questions will be asked... you might want to ask them first....

God thats a terrible thing to go through... Hope it all works out and you can put it behind you...

Karren


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## JennyMcL (Oct 12, 2007)

I hope this brings you closure. I have read a lot of your posts and I always come away admiring your courage.


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## Shelley (Oct 12, 2007)

Thank you everyone for your advice and support.


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## S. Lisa Smith (Oct 30, 2007)

Talk to the prossecutor. He or she should tell you the questions you will be asked and potential questions that the defense will ask. They are always busy and itf they are like here, overworked. That being said, the squeeky wheel gets the grease, so call them as soon as possible.

There is exellent advice in this thread, so I won't duplicate it. Listen to the question, if you understand it, answer it, always tell the truth, answer as briefly as possible and if the prosecutor objects to the question, stop talking, never volunteer.

I bet it will plead out just before the day of trial. Call the prosecutor asap and see what the status is and question him or her throughly. Good luck!


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## Lelenn (Oct 31, 2007)

I'm sorry you had to go through such an experience. However, this will make you a stronger person.


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## pinksugar (Nov 1, 2007)

good luck shellers! sweets I totally agree with everyone, you're really brave and I admire you a lot for how you've dealt with everything you've experienced.

In oz, court is totally different so I wont be much help there, but definately ask them to repeat the question if you need them to, don't let anyone intimidate or rush you, and best of luck!

you deserve the closure that this will bring and I wish you all the best! xox


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## magosienne (Nov 8, 2007)

it's different here so i don't have much advice, except maybe talk to your lawyer and ask him some questions. one thing for sure : as a general rule, dress nicely but nothing too fancy. i mention it because obviously the one who comes with her/his worst jeans will not be taken too seriously.

don't forget to relax



the questions are made for the judge and the other people so they can all understand what happened, not to rush you.

never talk unless you are asked a question.

i hope this will help you finally close that chapter of your life. remember that what doesn't destroy you makes you stronger.


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## Kookie-for-COCO (Nov 8, 2007)

Take a deep breath and tell the truth. You did nothing wrong-look them in the eye and tell the truth.


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## puncturedskirt (Nov 9, 2007)

Everyone who has posted gave good advice. Sorry you had to go through something like that though.


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## melpaganlibran (Nov 13, 2007)

he confessed so they won't grill you. it may help you get closure, if you feel unsafe still while at home takes steps to make it a safer feelin' home...get a mace spray or a weapon, get a huge dog or an alarm system, get an escape route or plan for emergency, take self defense classes, etc. i ahve been stalked once and am probably gonna deal witrh another go round as i need to divorce and i have crap judgement in partners. (sigh)

i think by and large you should be just fine now but omg, mental scars do remain. I'll never be the same as i was before i was first stalked.


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## aprilpgb22 (Nov 21, 2007)

No, i have never been to court.. But i am sorry you had to go through the situation of a deranged exbf trying have you killed.. but you pulled through thank the LORD!! That is a blessing, i suggest you get on the stand and tell the truth, you will win.


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