# Are Breaks Healthy for a Relationship?



## DallasBlonde (Aug 12, 2011)

So me and my boyfriend have been together for almost 3 years. We have been through a lot such as cheating. I'm always being put under investigation by him for everything that goes on in our relationship. He never takes blame for what he does, it's always my fault in some way. Plus, he controls my life sometimes I feel like I should ask if I can bend over to tie my shoe. He's everything I have dreamed about; plays football and doesn't care if I don't wear make up ever again. But I never feel good enough for him. He came from money and I grew up as a military brat. We call each other every night at 9 cause that's when my free minutes start. I can never be late calling him, even if it's an emergency. I brought up the option of taking a break but is that healthy for our relationship? I don't want to be controlled any longer. Help me!


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## divadoll (Aug 13, 2011)

I see relationships as a commitment to someone.  I don't think that think taking breaks from commitments as being healthy.  I think that if you need a change in situation, you either talk it out and reach a consensus and a compromise or you end it.  

From your first paragraph, he doesn't sound like a dream, he sounds like a nightmare.  The character of a movie that your boyfriend represents - football player and doesn't care whether you wear makeup or not is not the real person you are with... controller, bullyer, blamer, irresponsible...that's who your boyfriend is from your own words.


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## janetgriselle (Aug 13, 2011)

I don't claim to know all about relationships, but you and your boyfriend have been together for the same amount of time as me and my husband, almost three years. In those three years, I've never felt controlled or blamed and have never felt like I was under investigation.

My personal opinion is that the right guy is out there for you, and it may even be your boyfriend, but unless he makes some _serious_ changes this relationship should end. It's not fair to you to constantly feel that way. You deserve so much better than that.


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## Dragonfly (Aug 13, 2011)

Completely agree with the ladies.

Taking a break does nothing except give more ammunition to fight with, when you get back together.

You guys need to find a councellor and work through your problems now, or spilt up and find someone that loves you the way you deserve to be loved.


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## Ricciolina (Aug 13, 2011)

From my own personal experience and from stories from friends, breaks do NOT work. People end up getting more people involved (seeing more people) and thus, more arguments and problems ensue when the relationship starts again. It will just enhance the controlling/jealousness... I know from experience -_- /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

I personally think the best way to address this problem is to do it head-on. Why don't you try having an honest, open one on one with him. Let him know how you're feeling and maybe you both can come up with solutions together and work through these relationship issues. I wish you all the best! And congrats for having such a long lasting one thus far  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />


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