# Why do men do this?



## cynpat2000 (Jun 14, 2006)

I am curious about something that ive noticed.Why do men when they are with their wives or girlfriends check out other women???Ive noticed alot of men do this and my hubby has done it and it makes me question love and respect.....


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## Angie2006 (Jun 14, 2006)

They're pigs. Even if you don't notice it...they r still doin it.


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## ivette (Jun 14, 2006)

i don't know. i guess its a guy thing


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## pinkbundles (Jun 14, 2006)

well it depends. is he openly gawking, drooling and fantasizing on the spot? or is he just appreciating another pretty woman? there's a difference. at least in my opinion.


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## MACGoddess (Jun 14, 2006)

I don't have a problem if Rob happens to look at another woman, but honestly he has NEVER openly stared, or watched them even before he and I were together. I have heard stories from his friends (they were "complaining" of course) that when they would go to Hooters etc to get some wings and chill out, he wouldn't even look at the waitress or the staff at all...he's look at a TV, his food, or his friends...

I think it is different types of guys that do different things. I wouldn't say ALL guys do it, but the ones that do, it is just their nature... Just like some women will gawk at a hot guy (the ones I work with do it all the time) just like the men do to women.


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## Brownshugaz (Jun 14, 2006)

I think it's an issue of respect. A man that respects you won't do that because he knows it makes you uncomfortable and puts a negative shadow on the union.


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## Aquilah (Jun 14, 2006)

I don't have a problem with that personally, but that's also because I'll just pop John a good one if he's staring *lol* I'm generally the guilty party saying, "He's hot!" (generally at a celeb). We actually don't mind if one of us says something about someone being cute/pretty... We know who we go to bed w/ at night... Now, if it was any other man in my life (and it's happened to me before), I'd have a problem!


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## zombies8myheart (Jun 14, 2006)

Originally Posted by *Brownshugaz* I think it's an issue of respect. A man that respects you won't do that because he knows it makes you uncomfortable and puts a negative shadow on the union. WELL SAID!

haha


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## fickledpink (Jun 14, 2006)

Originally Posted by *Brownshugaz* I think it's an issue of respect. A man that respects you won't do that because he knows it makes you uncomfortable and puts a negative shadow on the union. I totally agree!


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## jennycateyez (Jun 14, 2006)

if i see a pretty girl or a girl with a nice a$$ i tell him * damn look at her a$$ * i dont care if he looks, damn im the one that tells him to look!


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## chocobon (Jun 15, 2006)

Originally Posted by *Brownshugaz* I think it's an issue of respect. A man that respects you won't do that because he knows it makes you uncomfortable and puts a negative shadow on the union. I agree too


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## AnnaBelle (Jun 15, 2006)

It doesn't bother me if Kenny looks at another girl, just as long as it's a quick look.

He works at Walgreens in the Pharmacy and one of the Pharmacist's g/fs come in, and he told me about her big boobs, and that she was telling all the guys about her new implants. I was pretty ticked about that.

Like the other posters have said, I think it's an issue of respect. If a man respects you he won't be ogling another girl in front of you, or even if you're not around. And it really just depends on the man and what kind of person he is as well.


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## Sirvinya (Jun 15, 2006)

I don't mind if James has a look. I look at blokes sometimes but that doesn't mean I want to sleep with any of them or love James any less beacuse of it. I know he still respects and loves me even if he does check out women sometimes, I'm not scared he's going to go off with any of them as I trust him.


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## AngelaGM (Jun 15, 2006)

Here's a different spin on that if I tell my husband a woman is pretty that is ok but if he mentions her first I get mad at him... LOL....


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## KellyB (Jun 15, 2006)

Originally Posted by *Brownshugaz* I think it's an issue of respect. A man that respects you won't do that because he knows it makes you uncomfortable and puts a negative shadow on the union. I agree. But I never minded my husband catching a quickie glance. I find other men attractive also. Just no blatant staring. That is rude and disrespectful to me also. But we could blame it on the ...blah, blah...men are visual creatures thing. I just think anyone with a Y chromosome can't stop themselves. I know...not fair. I'm just going through a divorce and I am a little bitter right now.. Not all men are pigs. Just all the ones I know


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## junell (Jun 15, 2006)

Originally Posted by *pinkbundles* well it depends. is he openly gawking, drooling and fantasizing on the spot? or is he just appreciating another pretty woman? there's a difference. at least in my opinion. I agree.


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## Maude (Jun 15, 2006)

Originally Posted by *pinkbundles* well it depends. is he openly gawking, drooling and fantasizing on the spot? or is he just appreciating another pretty woman? there's a difference. at least in my opinion. I agree. There is a huge difference. Of course, my boyfriend looks at girls wearing really short skirts and all, but I can't blame him. If a guy with sexy abs come, I won't cover my eyes and run away because I know Olivier is watching me. So as long as it's not intense staring at another one, I don't care.


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## lolypop (Jun 17, 2006)

Originally Posted by *jennycateyez* if i see a pretty girl or a girl with a nice a$$ i tell him * damn look at her a$$ * i dont care if he looks, damn im the one that tells him to look! I do the same...... but if i see him looking i'll just say she's hot hey. I mean i look at cute guys. We know who we go home with."You can look at the menu but just eat at home"


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## NYchic (Jun 18, 2006)

i think there is a difference between a female and a male staring. like for example a man can look at a pretty woman and sexually fantasize about her.

but studies have shown that females can look at a good looking male stranger and will not fantasize about him because women need an emotional connection to think sexually about a guy.

so i don't like men looking at other women when they are with their significant others especially some married men who will be there with their wives and children and will still check out other women. i HATE that!


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## Elisabeth (Jun 19, 2006)

Originally Posted by *kelly1965rn* I agree. But I never minded my husband catching a quickie glance. I find other men attractive also. Just no blatant staring. That is rude and disrespectful to me also. But we could blame it on the ...blah, blah...men are visual creatures thing. I just think anyone with a Y chromosome can't stop themselves. I know...not fair. *I'm just going through* *a divorce and I am a little bitter right now..* Not all men are pigs. Just all the ones I know



I'm sorry to hear that Kelly.I hope you're doing ok girl,

and that it's all for the best in the long run.

I know in my case, it always has been, although it is a mighty slice of hell

gettin through it sometimes.

Sorry to be off topic, continue.


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## PerfectMistake (Jun 20, 2006)

'Cause they are men - and men think with there smaller head...they even admit it sometimes lol

But it sucks pretty bad.


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## aMadeUp (Jun 20, 2006)

Originally Posted by *pinkbundles* well it depends. is he openly gawking, drooling and fantasizing on the spot? or is he just appreciating another pretty woman? there's a difference. at least in my opinion. I feel the same way...it's human nature to be drawn to an attractive object, be it a man, a woman, a beautifull old oak tree, an exquisite meal, etc...If he loves me and we both know it, then feel free to enjoy the oak tree, just don't leave me to go climb it and build a tree fort! lol!


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## LilDee (Jun 20, 2006)

Originally Posted by *pinkbundles* well it depends. is he openly gawking, drooling and fantasizing on the spot? or is he just appreciating another pretty woman? there's a difference. at least in my opinion. in my opinion too


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## KrazyPhish (Jun 21, 2006)

Grr, sometimes my boyfriend will point out hot celebrities on T.V. I think he does it because he knows it annoys me.


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## KellyB (Jun 21, 2006)

Originally Posted by *KrazyPhish* Grr, sometimes my boyfriend will point out hot celebrities on T.V. I think he does it because he knows it annoys me. That never bothered me. My soon to be ex-husband was in love with Jennifer Aniston. The reason it never bothered me was because I knew that little fantasy would never come true so he couldn't even be tempted.


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## mac-whore (Jun 21, 2006)

Originally Posted by *jennycateyez* if i see a pretty girl or a girl with a nice a$$ i tell him * damn look at her a$$ * i dont care if he looks, damn im the one that tells him to look! LOL ditto! That's exactly how I am. A man is always going to be attracted to beautiful women whether he is married or not, IMO. of course, being attracted to someone and acting on it are two totally different things but, I don't see anything wrong with my guy looking at other girls. Like jenny said, I'll usually point out the good looking girls with him. It's all in good fun, and I try not to be too serious/over-bearing.


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## joybelle (Jun 21, 2006)

My ex-husband not only looked but he made comments in front of me. It could be a woman on TV or in the grocery store. He would make comments on how 'fine' she was and even make comments on 'what HE could do to her." This totally wrecked my self-esteem. This was a huge problem. He even did it in front of my best friend. She called me the next day, to check on me. I was a wreck when I did get a divorce. But then I found out he was a total womanizing jerk. He got what he asked for.

Now, my boyfriend, which I live with, NEVER says anything &amp; I never catch him looking!


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## AMHGuy (Jun 23, 2006)

That never bothered me. My soon to be ex-husband was in love with Jennifer Aniston. The reason it never bothered me was because I knew that little fantasy would never come true so he couldn't even be tempted.

I think this is the most correct answer, in the opinion of one of the few males on this board. The reason I say that is because there used to be a couple of members of our coven who would openly flirt with everyone, and I do mean everyone. Now, mind you, this was a husband and wife. One day, I asked the man, as the wife was giving our High Priest a lap dance if it bothered him. He looked at me, smiled, and said that he was not worried because the difference was, the HP was going home alone. She was going home with her husband. Basically, what I am saying is "You can look but don't touch. Boys will be boys."


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## pla4u (Jul 4, 2006)

well a guy will notice a girl , especily a well built one or well made up, I think its natural, but guys can choose to not look when with there SO would be rude in my opinion, and staring is definatly a no no.


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## LVA (Jul 4, 2006)

all men do this. .. I gave up caring. Everytime my b/f sees some1 hot ... his eyes goes off in the other direction and i'm like "what are u looking @?", then I'm like "oh." it's just the nature of men. If he sees a girl w/a cute butt or nice rack ... there goes his eyes .. wandering off ... what cracks me up is when i tell him that i just saw him staring @ that girl .. and he's like .."o, i though she was some1 from my class ' .... I'm like .. "yah, and i was born yesterday, there must be a lotta hot chicks in your class."


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## Andi (Jul 6, 2006)

Originally Posted by *LVA* I'm like .. "yah, and i was born yesterday, there must be a lotta hot chicks in your class." LMAO...what an awesome reply. IÂ´m talking notes here, for whenever my bf starts looking too (so far heÂ´s not really looking after hot chicks yet, and trust me I pay attention)


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## Kimmi201 (Jul 6, 2006)

My b/f doesn't look at other girls in front of me ..im sure he glances when im not looking lol, but i gotta say i do that too, if i see a guy who looks good i give a quick glance when my mans not lookin and i know all im thinking is " ya hes cute" but it stops there.. theres no like elaborate fantasy or thoughts of breaking up with my b/f and im sure its the same for him. I do however think looking right in front of the other person and making it obvious is veryyyy disrespectful

Originally Posted by *joybelle* My ex-husband not only looked but he made comments in front of me. It could be a woman on TV or in the grocery store. He would make comments on how 'fine' she was and even make comments on 'what HE could do to her." that right there is ridiculous and you'll b able to tell right away if your man is like that^ or if hes just taking a quick glance ...(joybelle i def give you props for leaving him..and not killing him lol )


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## kisska3000 (Jul 6, 2006)

Most girls also check out other guys out when they are with their husbands or bf. I used to have a bf who checked out other girls in the beginning it pissed me off but then i just started to joke with him and he stopped doing that. I don't really think it means anything that why we have eyes to look.


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## Kimberleylotr (Jul 12, 2006)

i guess it if u see sumthing pretty u wanna look at it. I do it to men and women more so women there prettier. Notic its not just women they check out it s cars, and mens toys to they look at them the same way.


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## AMHGuy (Jul 14, 2006)

My sisters boyfriend was riding with her, and glanced at a car, and she assumed he was staring at the driver.


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## SwtValina (Jul 14, 2006)

There was a study done about something like this. They compared reaction time between genders in a public area. They had a beautiful woman walk by and see who looked/reacted first. They found that WOMEN actually noticed the attractive woman first. Why? Because they concluded, for anthropological and evolutionary reasons women are wired to notice any "competition" or "threats" that may harm their "survival". And in the evolutionary sense, "survival" means finding a mate. I found this interesting because when me and my ex would go to the mall, BOTH me and him would notice the attractive girls so really I can't get mad at him for an innate response plus he never outwardly oogled or made comments. BUT i'm sure if he did be jackass about it, i'd be mad.


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## mintesa (Jul 14, 2006)

i dont mind. as long its just a normal quick look. like something passing the corner of your eye, and you have to look. its always more my thing looking at beautiful things, my honey is to shy to stare.


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## Lafawnduh (Jul 15, 2006)

My boyfriend does this too.



I've always assumed that he does it because he's not happy with the way I look.

All guys check out women, and I can deal with that... In fact, I'll say "_____ is so beautiful." It's human nature to find other people physically attractive. I just wish he wouldn't check them out *while I am there* with him. It makes me feel bad, like I'm invisible and unattractive.


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## AMHGuy (Jul 15, 2006)

Unfortunately, that is what is wrong with some facets of society. Why is it if a guy is appreciated the beauty of another person, their significant other immediately assumes, and wrongly in most cases, that "Oh, he must think I am unattractive" or "I think he wants her more than me", or etc. Please understand, I am a male, despite my avatar, (which is my Yahoo Avatar on another screen name, and I thought it would fit in here), and thereby kind of get confused by the female psyche, so don't castrate me just yet. I'm just trying to understand.


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## Lafawnduh (Jul 16, 2006)

Well, I think that I am unattractive to him because he told me that he doesn't think I'm pretty. I found out that he thinks I'm mediocre looking, but not pretty. For a while he always would tell me he thought I was beautiful and made me feel good about myself. I later found out he never really meant it, only said it to make me feel better about myself. I know there's some physical attraction to me on his part or else he wouldn't be with me, but I still feel unattractive when he checks out girls when I'm there with him... I just wish he'd look at me the way he looks at them.

Before he told me all that, he also cheated on me for a girl he considered to be more physically attractive. He said it was an "ego boost" that she was interested in him. (Other than the fact she had bigger boobs and clearer skin, I don't think she's much prettier than me.. but whatever.)

That's why I think the way I do... it's difficult not to let that stuff affect me in some way.


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## melpaganlibran (Jul 27, 2006)

i wanna claw his eyes out when he stares. it makes me feel like i am not.... fill in the blank(pretty busty tall thin) enough. I told him he can do it all he wants if I am not around. just to clarify, a stare is a double take or even longer than 2 second look is consdieerd rude by starngers. oo it makes me angry and if I check out another guy he gets as jealous as a..a...woman! he pouts and tells me to take a picture or not to breakl my neck after the man has passed. I told him its like this: I know I am not the only woman in the world but when I am with you PRETND like it out of respect and I don't care if you are a man..after all you whine so hard when I look atmen! when I look at a pretty woman he catches me and stares too, its like it gives him an excuse then i don't get as upset..I am a hypocrite, oh lawdy!


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## SierraWren (Jul 27, 2006)

Originally Posted by *pinkbundles* well it depends. is he openly gawking, drooling and fantasizing on the spot? or is he just appreciating another pretty woman? there's a difference. at least in my opinion. I agree with this also. There are a lot of good-looking women--and men--where I live and especially when I go to the beach with my husband, I catch him glancing at women. He does it so quickly though, like he can't help it and also really tries to shield me from noticing. It's never anything focused or outright--and I look at other men--and women--too.It used to make me feel much more insecure than it now does, but we've been married 9 years and I can appreciate(though still slightly jealous!) his appreciation and instinct for beauty.Now,if he were openly leering, making comments...I'd be crushed. That's a sure sign of disrespect, of not caring enough to protect the other person.


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## makeupfreak72 (Jul 27, 2006)

i dont care when my husband does that, in fact when i see a really pretty girl with boobs out out to there and her ass hanging out, i'll tell my husband, "dang, check her out!" LOL!!!


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## SierraWren (Jul 27, 2006)

Originally Posted by *Lafawnduh* Well, I think that I am unattractive to him because he told me that he doesn't think I'm pretty. I found out that he thinks I'm mediocre looking, but not pretty. For a while he always would tell me he thought I was beautiful and made me feel good about myself. I later found out he never really meant it, only said it to make me feel better about myself. I know there's some physical attraction to me on his part or else he wouldn't be with me, but I still feel unattractive when he checks out girls when I'm there with him... I just wish he'd look at me the way he looks at them.
Before he told me all that, he also cheated on me for a girl he considered to be more physically attractive. He said it was an "ego boost" that she was interested in him. (Other than the fact she had bigger boobs and clearer skin, I don't think she's much prettier than me.. but whatever.)

That's why I think the way I do... it's difficult not to let that stuff affect me in some way.

Lafawnduh--Sorry to butt in,but OMG,I just read your post,and it pierces my heart! You deserve to be with someone who not only sees and appreciates your beauty completely, but also respects you and cares about not hurting your feelings--and it sounds like this guy you are with does none of these things! No one should ever make you feel you are mediocre looking,and especially not in the eyes of your lover!He is supposed to reassure you, sothe you, lift you up--not break you apart, tear you down, hurt you so deeply. And cheating on you openly like that(not that secretly is better.)I don't know you,of course, but I know you deserve your freedom from this cruel sounding man, and the chance to start your life again, and to find someone new, who will love you for every ounce of who you are. Please, try and break from him if you can--no one deserves to hurt in this way...And certainly not a sweet fellow MUTer... YOU deserve to be loved.


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## ivette (Jul 27, 2006)

i agree with sierra. Lafawnduh, you deserve better


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## Annia (Jul 28, 2006)

Originally Posted by *SierraWren* Lafawnduh--Sorry to butt in,but OMG,I just read your post,and it pierces my heart! You deserve to be with someone who not only sees and appreciates your beauty completely, but also respects you and cares about not hurting your feelings--and it sounds like this guy you are with does none of these things! No one should ever make you feel you are mediocre looking,and especially not in the eyes of your lover!He is supposed to reassure you, sothe you, lift you up--not break you apart, tear you down, hurt you so deeply. And cheating on you openly like that(not that secretly is better.)I don't know you,of course, but I know you deserve your freedom from this cruel sounding man, and the chance to start your life again, and to find someone new, who will love you for every ounce of who you are. Please, try and break from him if you can--no one deserves to hurt in this way...And certainly not a sweet fellow MUTer... YOU deserve to be loved. This is very well written. Sierra is right.
Lawfawnduh, I am soo sorry this happened to you. My heart melted when I read your story. I don't believe you deserve this. No woman deserves this. This guy needs to grow up! What is he 12? Seriously, this guy has no respect for women. You need to jet out of there, fast!


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## dlb04 (Jul 30, 2006)

Originally Posted by *makeupfreak72* i dont care when my husband does that, in fact when i see a really pretty girl with boobs out out to there and her ass hanging out, i'll tell my husband, "dang, check her out!" LOL!!! I do the same thing! I don't mind if he looks because I usually spot the hot girls first!


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## Nox (Aug 1, 2006)

Originally Posted by *dlb04* I do the same thing! I don't mind if he looks because I usually spot the hot girls first! Haha, me too! 
Lafawnduh, I really feel for you. Your boyfriend really needs to recognize the treasure he's already got. Some men really have sensitivity issues and don't want to take responsibilty for saying or doing things that may be construed as hurtful by their partner... it is a form of selfishness, imho. Think of how you were before you got into this relationship. Were you more self confident, did you have more days when you felt better about your attractiveness vs. now? No one should be stealing your right to find happiness within yourself. If the way you look is perfect enough for God, then it should be more than enough for him. I am very sorry to say this, but this does not sound like an enriching relationship for you. If he was willing to jeopardize the relationship, then you need to be willing to walk away from this deal. It may be time to "clean house".


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## VenusGoddess (Aug 1, 2006)

Originally Posted by *cynpat2000* I am curious about something that ive noticed.Why do men when they are with their wives or girlfriends check out other women???Ive noticed alot of men do this and my hubby has done it and it makes me question love and respect..... My husband doesn't do that. We used to people watch together (and comment to each other about other women/men...not mean, but admiringly). We just kind of grew out of it. We're more focused on each other and our family, now.
But, if it makes you uncomfortable or you feel disrespected by it, then it is your responsibility to say something to him. You are "accepting" the behavior by not saying anything (acceptance by silence). Telling him in a non-threatening way, "When you look at other women when I'm with you, I feel _________ --angry, upset, inferior, etc (whatever)." However, know that this is still your issue and you need to deal with it. If he refuses or chooses to not abstain when you are around, then you have some other decisions/choices to make.


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## swapmakeup (Aug 1, 2006)

My hubby does it all the time, and I totally feel it's disrespectful, I know women are pretty but just dont gawk when I am around especially if the other woman sees that you are with me.


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## Lafawnduh (Aug 1, 2006)

Originally Posted by *NoxiousByProxy* Haha, me too! 
Lafawnduh, I really feel for you. Your boyfriend really needs to recognize the treasure he's already got. Some men really have sensitivity issues and don't want to take responsibilty for saying or doing things that may be construed as hurtful by their partner... it is a form of selfishness, imho. Think of how you were before you got into this relationship. Were you more self confident, did you have more days when you felt better about your attractiveness vs. now? No one should be stealing your right to find happiness within yourself. If the way you look is perfect enough for God, then it should be more than enough for him. I am very sorry to say this, but this does not sound like an enriching relationship for you. If he was willing to jeopardize the relationship, then you need to be willing to walk away from this deal. It may be time to "clean house".

You hit the nail right on the head when you said "Some men really have sensitivity issues and don't want to take responsibilty for saying or doing things that may be construed as hurtful by their partner... it is a form of selfishness." I put up with that kind of stuff because I love him a lot, and he's not entirely bad. He has an amazing personality and sometimes he does a lot for me. He just has to work on not being selfish about doing stuff that he knows hurts me, and he has to start being more honest. 
Or maybe I'm just stupid.. who knows?


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## marshall1704 (Aug 5, 2006)

My past ex's did that to me but of course they were cheating. My husband has never done that even when we were dating.


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## BrazenBrunhilda (Aug 10, 2006)

If a man doesn't look at another woman, check his pulse, because he is probably dead.


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## vav (Aug 20, 2006)

Women do it all the time too, it's not a man thing, this view has served men well for a long time..

I don't accept it from my man to be honest. I don't find it unethical or anything but it's not the type of man i like. I don't do it either so..


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## TylerD (Aug 24, 2006)

Ok im not trying to start an argument at all, but let me throw something in here on behalf of the guys. Yes I will admitt that we check out other girls from time to time but do you think its just guys BAHAHAHAH WRONG!!!! My girlfriend who I have been dating for over a year now is the most loyal and trustworthy person in my life. But I know she checks out other guys. I see it all the time. Ive seen my friend with their girlfriends and then I will see a couple of guys walk into the mall in a muscle shirt showing off their body and their gf's look at them. Its just natural!!!!

Let me ask you girls a question. If you were with your boyfriend in a gym and he is farelly skinny (good looking but not much to show off) and then you see a guy with perfect abbs, nice built etc... you wouldnt check him out???? I really dont believe it if you say no. But anyways thats the same with guys. If a girl walks by and has a nice figure we look yes, but its not out of disrespect to our girlfriends... I have done it before and yes after I somewhat feel guilty but I know my girlfriend does it all the time. As said before Its dutch door action!!!


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## Annia (Aug 25, 2006)

My s/o doesn't look at other women nor do I look at other people.. I am not really attracted to looks. I guess I am weird.


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## sm91396 (Aug 25, 2006)

Originally Posted by *BrazenBrunhilda* If a man doesn't look at another woman, check his pulse, because he is probably dead. Ha!Ha! I couldn't have said it better myself. LOL.I personally don't mind when hubby looks,so he doesn't really try to hide it. I don't feel he is disrespecting me in the least. And as far as the poster who said that it's totally different when women look at a man than when men stare at a woman because they fantasize and we don't...I have to respectfully disagree-I do check out hot guys-and I do fantasize. It's a totally natural thing to do. Does that mean I will cheat if said hot guy approached me-NO. We all have eyeballs, don't we???


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## frazerti (Aug 25, 2006)

no no no my husband does not do it he knows better he would know what I would do to him, it should not happen not all guys do it but that is how you figure out If a guy has the potential to cheat on you or not b/c in my view that is cheating


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## rlise (Aug 28, 2006)

i mean i have seen him look at other chicks but only because they are waling right in front of us, or whatever. but im very insecure! i wish i wasnt , but he knows the deal... ill sock him a good one if he does.


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## dmolinet (Aug 28, 2006)

Don't you ever look at others? I always point out really pretty women to my husband--and, I don't mind letting him know if I think some man looks really nice. I expect my husband to love and respect me, not be blind.


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## Annia (Aug 29, 2006)

Originally Posted by *dmolinet* /img/forum/go_quote.gif Don't you ever look at others? I always point out really pretty women to my husband--and, I don't mind letting him know if I think some man looks really nice. I expect my husband to love and respect me, not be blind. I have read this thread a long time ago so I really don't remember the question.. but when ever I see the title I always tend to think that when some one is asking a question like this I think it's regarding the guys that are pigs. The ones that like to gawk and lust etc.
Of course a guy can look at a woman and be in awe or he may just be curious but it's the fantasizing on the spot that gets women riled up. Or it just may be that the woman is insecure that she is dreaming of this happening when in reality it isn't at all.

Just a thought.


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## iPex (Sep 4, 2006)

Learn to live with it. Guys are nothing like girls. If we see something we like, we don't think about who we're with and forget what we're looking at. What we like we look at and admire. We may even imagine having sex with whatever girl it is. This is kind of dangerous at a young age, like myself, 20. If I see another girl I like, I'll question whether or not I'm happy with the chick I'm with.

I've never cheated on a girl or dumped a girl over another, though. I think.


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## tala (Sep 14, 2006)

It is normal for men to stare have wandering eyes, in my case, i am just thankful he looks ( lust looks) at other women instead of men! haha!


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## empericalbeauty (Sep 14, 2006)

Originally Posted by *AMHGuy* /img/forum/go_quote.gif My sisters boyfriend was riding with her, and glanced at a car, and she assumed he was staring at the driver. I did this one day. Well I actually blame PMS but chris and I were going to his place of work cus he forgot his house keys and I was generally in a bad mood. I was feeling pretty low that day and just..tired. So a car pulled up and he looked. not a glance...no..he glanced, then looked. I turned to see what he was staring at and saw 2 chicks in the car. I was hurt for some reason. then i poped him on the shoulder and slouched down. I was so pissed, I told him to stare away and I didnt talk to him for the rest of the trip.




..It was so immature but I get jealous over petty things that dont matter but I dont get jealous when it does. Sometimes he "ooos" when a hot celeb comes on TV and I playfully make fun of him. But Sometimes it just makes me wonder if he wants to be with other girls. ::shrugs::


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## RedKisses (Sep 19, 2006)

Originally Posted by *jennycateyez* /img/forum/go_quote.gif if i see a pretty girl or a girl with a nice a$$ i tell him * damn look at her a$$ * i dont care if he looks, damn im the one that tells him to look! I'm the same hahaha! He also checks out other women on purpose to make me jealous...cause he knows i get jealous and he is too. We tease eachother all the time.


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## nicoleycannoli (Sep 19, 2006)

I don't mind it when my boyfriend looks at other girls. I figure, "Hell, he could be with those good-looking girls but he's with me and loves me". Also, he used to work at a camera store and there was never a day that passed by where he didn't get porn-ish pictures. But, most of the time, he doesn't look anyway.


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## flychick767 (Oct 9, 2006)

I think it is a normal thing to look at the opposite sex. I do it all the time, as does my guy. But I am also told several times a day that he loves me, and that I am perfect, even if I think I could loose 5-10 pounds.

I don't mind him looking, as when we are alone, I know that in his eyes I am the only one for him.


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## StrangerNMist (Oct 26, 2006)

He really doesn't do much looking, but when he does look it's pretty quick. It doesn't bother me all that much. If it didn't, I wouldn't have dragged him all the way to the local Hooters.

I remember the first time I took him there,(I like the restaurant, and I LLLOOOOVVVEEE their burgers!), and our waitress was quite the looker - and BOY did she know it! She made sure that she had her outfit on in such a way that people could literally SEE what she had, and needless to say both my husband and I were gawking! I took charge of the opportunity and used my camera phone! After the deed was done, I showed him the picture and he turned red and started laughing.

But anyway...

As far as I know, he always tells me how beautiful I am. I reply by telling him that he needs to get his eyes checked again (he wears glasses), and I remind him that I'm not exactly model material (Trust me, I'm WAAAAYYYYYYYY below average).


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## Tina Marie (Oct 31, 2006)

I think I'm more of the 'looker' haha! Unless Greg is really good at hiding it haha!

As long as the looking is not full out gawking then I am cool with my man taking a quick glance.. any longer and there could be a problem haha


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## Gary-Michael (Oct 31, 2006)

Originally Posted by *Lafawnduh* /img/forum/go_quote.gif Well, I think that I am unattractive to him because he told me that he doesn't think I'm pretty. I found out that he thinks I'm mediocre looking, but not pretty. For a while he always would tell me he thought I was beautiful and made me feel good about myself. I later found out he never really meant it, only said it to make me feel better about myself. I know there's some physical attraction to me on his part or else he wouldn't be with me, but I still feel unattractive when he checks out girls when I'm there with him... I just wish he'd look at me the way he looks at them.
Before he told me all that, he also cheated on me for a girl he considered to be more physically attractive. He said it was an "ego boost" that she was interested in him. (Other than the fact she had bigger boobs and clearer skin, I don't think she's much prettier than me.. but whatever.)

That's why I think the way I do... it's difficult not to let that stuff affect me in some way.

Baby- my heart goes out to you, but you need to start with respecting yourself---my mom used to say "No matter how cute you are, there is someone somewhere who is sick of you." How you look matters -but it's what is inside that should count for more, so if the PHYSICAL is the basis of your relationship---- you need to re-evaluate your priorities. 
And as far as this subject is concerned---



- girls are just as bad about this "checking out the field" thing and you hypocrites KNOW IT! LMFAO---- shady! You girls are just smarter than stupid boys are and don't get clocked- cuz you know men are FAR more insecure on this level and will dump you for it. So you had to get sly-er and all icognito about it. Good for you.... my people applaud you for it--- but don't make it a GUY thing at all....... it's a human thing.


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## Dubsbelle (Nov 3, 2006)

My BF has never blatantly gawked, drooled, stared at another chick in my company. THAT would be rude and disrespectful.

But to glance or casually notice a pretty lady...yes my bf has done that before and I honestly believe most guys do. Heck, I even notice when there's an attractive girl in viewpoint. It's just something anyone would notice, I think.

I do the same (glance at good looking guys), but never oogle!

And like other ladies have mentioned...my BF knows what'll happen if he is caught *staring*...hehehe (major arm pinching!)


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## cutegirl (Nov 15, 2006)

i think your right



my hubby never did such a thing and i'm sure of it


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## han (Nov 16, 2006)

it dont bother me if my husband looks i look too but not alot if he is around he is more sensitive than me what really bothers me is guys that check me out ghawk and stare when there chick is right there im like dam dont break ur neck it really is rude

Originally Posted by *cutegirl* /img/forum/go_quote.gif i think your right



my hubby never did such a thing and i'm sure of it hahaha im not laughing at you but i had a friend and she use to talk crap cause i would b***h that my man run up our cabel bill with the porn and she would be like girl he is weird and a perv and i would tell her ALL guys look at porn and other girls and she said not my boyfriend hes not like that and the dirty mags she found in the house she said who ever live there befor left them im like yeah right she was in deniel i laugh my ass off when she called crying that she got a virus from her man looking at porn on the internet


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## daer0n (Dec 13, 2006)

Originally Posted by *Annia* /img/forum/go_quote.gif My s/o doesn't look at other women nor do I look at other people.. I am not really attracted to looks. I guess I am weird. Then we are two weirdos here, because i am the same, my husband does look at other women tho, but you know, he not only looks at the pretty ones, he looks at the 'ugly' ones too and tells me, he is just a looker i guess, he did use to say stuff like "she's got a nice bum" and stuff like that, but one day i just got really tired of it and i told him that i didn't want to hear him saying stuff like that to me ever again, it's been quite a while and he doesn't do it anymore, i hope he doesn't do it ever again, i do think sometimes that it is disrespectful, but some other times i don't care. I on the other hand don't look at *ANYONE* in front of him, i don't know, i think it is my high sense of respect and loyalty and i don't feel comfortable doing it, i respect him and love him too much to do that kind of stuff, it's like i want people to know that i don't do it because no matter how he looks he is everything i need and always wanted, and i am happy with what i have. I don't even find other people attractive to be honest, it is a very rare thing for me to find someone else (male) attractive enough for me to look at them, most men are/look just average to me. Also, i know that if he looks at someone else, he wont go and sleep with them, he (i know) loves me, and comes home to sleep with me, and it doesn't really affect me to think he stares/looks at pretty women cause i know what i have, and i know very well i am not an ugly person. _*Plus*_, he knows very well no one else would give him what i do.





Originally Posted by *StrangerNMist* /img/forum/go_quote.gif He really doesn't do much looking, but when he does look it's pretty quick. It doesn't bother me all that much. If it didn't, I wouldn't have dragged him all the way to the local Hooters. I remember the first time I took him there,(I like the restaurant, and I LLLOOOOVVVEEE their burgers!), and our waitress was quite the looker - and BOY did she know it! She made sure that she had her outfit on in such a way that people could literally SEE what she had, and needless to say both my husband and I were gawking! I took charge of the opportunity and used my camera phone! After the deed was done, I showed him the picture and he turned red and started laughing.

But anyway...

As far as I know, he always tells me how beautiful I am. I reply by telling him that he needs to get his eyes checked again (he wears glasses), and I remind him that I'm not exactly model material (Trust me, I'm WAAAAYYYYYYYY below average).

My husband is the same, he is always telling me how beautiful i am, even though sometimes i feel like an old mop, i have always tried to look good for him though, but even when i wake up in the morning and i think i look horrible he tells me i'm pretty, or even now with my extra weight, (cause im pregnant) so, i know he loves me, he says it to me all day all the time, one thing i love about him is that no matter where we are, if driving or sitting on the couch watching tv, or just lying in bed, he holds my hand all the time, i love that about him, i think it is the sweetest thing, my ex never did that, well, my ex never did a lot of things, but that is one of the many many things that make me love my husband so much, and not even care if he stares at other women at all.





Originally Posted by *carla_Hilton* /img/forum/go_quote.gif Actually, its me normally who's like "damn, john, look at her, she's hott!" SO it really don't bother me, and i haven't had a problem with it.

You have to be to sure about yourself if you do that, mind you, i just looked at your profile picture and you have nothing to worry about, i think your bf is too busy looking at you all the time to have time to look at other women, you are really beautiful. By the way, i know you get this a lot probably, but i really like your hair too.


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## orangebowl9 (Dec 15, 2006)

I dunno. I always got crap from my g/f about starring at other girls. Not in a bad way, but she just didn't understand Men are just very visually stimulated, moreso than women. That's my theory...not that I go to them much, rarely actually, but there are lots of strip clubs, and only a handful of ones for women to see naked guys, although I think those are more geared for gay guys. I'm not quite sure since I never been too one!


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## han (Dec 15, 2006)

Originally Posted by *Angie* /img/forum/go_quote.gif They're pigs. Even if you don't notice it...they r still doin it.


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## peanutking242 (Dec 15, 2006)

"my job is to check out girls" i always get a good playful bash from my girlfriend when i told her that.

yes i do check on attractive women... cant help it... but i dont fanasize about it... its more like admire and forget... as for my case the problem is not serious because she and i have trust and confidence in each other as physical beauty is only a tiny fraction in a relationship. no offence but if you think your guy checking out on girls are pigs, maybe thats because you have issues with yourself, reevaluate the situation and you might find out that you were thinking in a wrong way... unless your guy is a pig (cant keep his hankey pankey in his pants)... and there's nothing else you can do but to dump him


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## itzmarylicious (Dec 20, 2006)

Originally Posted by *Angie* /img/forum/go_quote.gif They're pigs. Even if you don't notice it...they r still doin it. hahaha this just made me laugh. 
i asked my bf this some time ago and he said "i just want to compare you to other women, and realize that youre so much better" Im thinking "youre full of crap"


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## ling07 (Dec 25, 2006)

ladies, are you saying you don't look at other hot guys?i don't mind my hubby looking at hot girls ,i like to look at hot girls too (beside guys) ,so we both enjoy it although i'm not bisexual, the only exclusion is when he said the girl is hot when she really is not then i got upset, i mean if you gonna looak at other girl she better be hotter than me otherwise it's an insult.


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## jjolove187 (Jan 5, 2007)

Same reason why I check out other guys. It's human nature to notice the attractiveness of another. IMO


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## miss_makeup (Jan 10, 2007)

i think its a personal matter

some pple (women and men) used 2 look arround

some pple also don't look because they didn't used of that

but all in all

respect is important


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## StereoXGirl (Jan 12, 2007)

I think it's just in their nature. It doesn't necessarily mean anything...

And I don't think they mean it as a sign of disrespect to you (unless they're openly gawking and making inappropriate comments, etc).


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## enyadoresme (Jan 14, 2007)

Checking out other girls is understandable...I mean its first instinct. But acting on those feelings while in a commited relationshop is just WRONG


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## Sabrosa (Jan 14, 2007)

its ok it they look but they're droolin over the girl they see- thats bad


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## PaperFlowers (Jan 14, 2007)

I look at other girls and guys all the time. LOL I know who I'm going home to, there's nothing wrong with appreciating the attractiveness of another, only a problem if it gets to be obsessive.


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## southcitybabe (Jan 15, 2007)

Its a guy thing! I havent noticed my guy doing it at anyone but he has mention people on tv whether they have big boobs or small, if they are nice, and even tho I dont really like it I join in and give my opinion, He says mine are perfect but yet says they are too big.


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## Aprill (Jan 16, 2007)

It is not a disrespect issue, they are just visual people that want to look. I know my husband's eyes wander, but its cool. I call it window shopping.


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## dods460 (Jan 24, 2007)

Well maybe some of them are transvestites and are just checking out different outfits that some women are wearing.


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## Lain_knights (Jan 24, 2007)

Maybe the right question isn't "why do they do this ?" but "why does it annoys me?"... After all, if your boyfriend is with you, it means that he chose to do so, and not the other girl with bigger boobs or else. wtf ?

when my boyfriend stares a little bit too long on another girl, I usually say something like "such a beautiful ass, uh ? if only I had the same..." *I try to look upset* .

... and then he reassures me ^^. Or I do like if I was angry about that, little bit childishly, and it works : I regain his attention. Try it once.


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## LovinPigments (Feb 6, 2007)

Originally Posted by *AngelaGM* /img/forum/go_quote.gif Here's a different spin on that if I tell my husband a woman is pretty that is ok but if he mentions her first I get mad at him... LOL.... ^^^ditto LOL^^^


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## macface (Feb 6, 2007)

I noticed my boyfriend looking at other girls.I do get mad but then I get over it.


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## insider-guru (Feb 6, 2007)

hello macface, don't get mad and then get over it. just know EXACTLY what to do in a moment like that. you can search on this forum for more information on what to do in the marketplace.


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## Grneyedlady7 (Feb 7, 2007)

i asked this same thing to my boy a while back...note though, that STARING and looking are 2 different things....his explanation was that guys are just very visual people and they look at anything that is different than what they have/are. Meaning, a guy is going to look at a girl...regardless of if she is the most beautiful woman in the world or just another average girl, it's not out of disrespect..they just cant help it


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## Geek (Feb 7, 2007)

You cannot mention your sales in the open forum.





Originally Posted by *insider-guru* /img/forum/go_quote.gif 

*Hello Cynpat2000 &amp; everyone else!*


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## gwen-stefani (Feb 22, 2007)

I agree with some others it depends on the guy. Ive been with my husband for over 4 years and have never caught him looking at another women once! If you're man really loves you he wouldnt even be interested in looking at another women because all he should see is you, He should only have eyes for you and in my case my hubby doesnt care to think, talk, or look at any others but me


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## SherryAnn (Feb 26, 2007)

I don't like it when my DH does it, but there are only about three times in our lives that I can remember him actually doing it in front of me. I turn into a psycho-lunatic because I don't want him to like anyone more than he likes me! Actually, I have gotten better about it in my old age...


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## Kirsten (Feb 26, 2007)

My husband says because their pigs, and men are very visual creatures. and us woman are not visual and it's hard for us to understand them.


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## sweetnsexy6953 (Feb 26, 2007)

The only time that my bf and I do that is when an actor or an actress comes on tv. I dont look at other guys when we are at a store and he damn sure better not look at girls either. He knows how I feel about it. If it happens I get mad about it yea but I get over it.


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## natalierb (Mar 5, 2007)

My bf glances at girls all the time. It's in their nature. At first, I used to get really mad, but now I'm more mature about it. I look at guys, if I didn't I wouldn't be a normal person!


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## salsabeela (May 11, 2007)

Man is a shallow creature, it's just the way they are. Nothing personal.


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## Saje (May 11, 2007)

I'm shallow too then. Coz I look at both men and women (men coz theyre hot... women coz they're hot and my competitive instincts kick in).

I just read through the whole thread. Seems to me the biggest factor in play is not whether guys look or not... but our insecurities about it.

Me and my guy both look. When we feel secure comparing ourselves to the person being looked at, we dont make a fuss. But when I catch him looking at someone I feel a little insecure about, I get pissed. And he is the same way. (He once pointed out some guy on a bike to me... then quickly told me to look away and stop staring at his butt - his insecurities kicked in, it was quite amusing to me)

Bottom line is, whether the guy likes to look or not (or you've never caught them - peripheral vision is great you know) ... if he wants to cheat, he will cheat. Looking isnt cheating. If it was, many men and women would be walking around with their eyes gauged out.


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## Manda (May 11, 2007)

I don't care if my bf looks at another chick, if its jsut a glance or whatever. Usually I don't even catch him doing it but he probably does. Now if he were to start staring and looking like hes fantasizing or something, that would be a diff. story but thats never came up. You can't really help who you look at, espec. if they are in your line of sight and if someone is attractive it catches your eye, sometimes I look at other guys but I don't openly check them out or give em the once over lol.


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## SierraWren (May 11, 2007)

Originally Posted by *Saje* /img/forum/go_quote.gif I'm shallow too then. Coz I look at both men and women (men coz theyre hot... women coz they're hot and my competitive instincts kick in). 
I just read through the whole thread. Seems to me the biggest factor in play is not whether guys look or not... but our insecurities about it.

Me and my guy both look. When we feel secure comparing ourselves to the person being looked at, we dont make a fuss. But when I catch him looking at someone I feel a little insecure about, I get pissed. And he is the same way. (He once pointed out some guy on a bike to me... then quickly told me to look away and stop staring at his butt - his insecurities kicked in, it was quite amusing to me)

Bottom line is, whether the guy likes to look or not (or you've never caught them - peripheral vision is great you know) ... if he wants to cheat, he will cheat. Looking isnt cheating. If it was, many men and women would be walking around with their eyes gauged out.

ITA ...Looking is as natural as our insecurities about it are.


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