# I love my bf.. But he is a selfish f***.. I think I'm breaking up



## missnadia (Nov 26, 2006)

He hasn't been answering my calls for 3 days.. He tends to "retreat" and ignore me for a few days when we have arguments about the relationship... .I've told him many times how miserable and hysterical it makes me.. In the past I've left many messages crying and screaming when he'd do that..... and yet he's still doing it....

So here I am wondering why the man who's supposed to love me would purposely leave me in such a miserable state when I didn't do anything to hurt him... He always seems to have excuses for stressing out and shutting out people... He always has excuses to put himself first.. I've invested so much time and money in that guy... I've invested myself to make his life better.. I took care of things for him, I took care of him, I was always there for him... And yet he leaves me like this at the smallest sign of an upcoming argument... He's done nothing tangible to make my life better... Sure he was always around.. But just being there and being himself isn't enough... He's done nothing to show me how much he loves me.. he's done nothing *selfless *for me, to put my interests first.... He's always had excuses to worry about his own stuff first.. I feel so used I can't believe I accepted all of his excuses for both of us worrying about HIM all this time.... Sure he was in a tough situation.. but now he's doing much better, he has a job, he has time.. and yet he's still done nothing for me....

He's a spoiled kid and I don't find it cute anymore... All I can think of right now is just giving him back some stuff he gave me for my bdays and xmas and what not and bounce...

Thanks for letting me vent.. Opinions are also appreciated..


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## rlise (Nov 26, 2006)

bounce, well if thats how you feel, then bouncing it is! although that does suck , how some men are like that. good luck !


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## empericalbeauty (Nov 26, 2006)

I still say you should have a real conversation with him. I mean like talking minus the screaming/crying part. if he still acts like a dillhole, then split. Chris almost pulled this shit on me and then I told him that if he didnt get his shit together, I was gone and he hasnt attempted it.


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## missnadia (Nov 26, 2006)

Oh but we did.. plenty... thing is, he always seems to come up with excuses to justify worrying about HIS stress and HIS problems above anything else, including me. And I always fall for them cause I too, put him FIRST.

I love the way you talk though, I think I've gotten too soft with him to the point of even putting my attitude aside. I've always been the type to be strict and straight up with men. "Don't you EVER pull this shit on me or this is the last time you've seen me". God I don't even remember the last time I used such language with him. Haha, thanks, I think I'm ready to pull an ultimatum.

:whipping:


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## pinkbundles (Nov 26, 2006)

i say bounce and never look back!

i dated a guy to a tee like that once. the ungrateful bastard never did anything for me either. it was always me taking care of stuff. and the one and only time i ever asked for help, he wouldn't! the NERVE!

i was so hurt and felt betrayed. but somehow i found courage to walk away. it was the best thing i did for myself and i didn't know it until a few years after.


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## janetsbreeze (Nov 26, 2006)

whatever you decide, i wish you all the best.


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## empericalbeauty (Nov 26, 2006)

Well then, Hun. Do the right thing. Excuses are lies with roses on top.


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## han (Nov 26, 2006)

I would leave to i wouldnt have a talk with him if hes selfish chances are he wont listen with people like that action speaks louder than words id kick him to the curb dont waste your emotions money or effort on someone who isnt gonna give nothing in return oh and excuses as far as im concern is nothing but a lie with a rose on top thats what my dad use to say when i would try and make excuses haha!! either way good luck and let us know


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## jennycateyez (Nov 26, 2006)

bounce girl!


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## missnadia (Nov 26, 2006)

Thanks for your encouragement you guys..

Thing is, I always end up taking him back when we break up so I know this isn't gonna be easy... It's like I always tend to think about the positive things that we shared and how we've always gotten along when he crawls back and tells me he misses me and that he realized what he's done wrong..

I mean I can pull an ultimatum about not calling, but it's not like I can put an ultimatum like "start doing small attentive gestures for me, or I'm out".

Man I'm so messed up I don't even know what I'm saying anymore :joy77:


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## bluebird26 (Nov 26, 2006)

lol

I hope you choose the _smart_ decision girlie. If he knows that you end up taking him back then he will think this time it's going to be the same.


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## Becka (Nov 26, 2006)

another vote for bouncing ...


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## Aquilah (Nov 28, 2006)

I agree with the girls on bouncing!


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## cutee (Dec 5, 2006)

i wish you all the best.:2:


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## CuTeLiCiOuS (Dec 5, 2006)

bounce...


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## Teresamachado (Dec 5, 2006)

I agree with the rest here.


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## Dragonfly (Dec 5, 2006)

Life is too short to waste on a man that doesn't treat you the way you the deserve to be treated.

There are a lot of great guys you could be paying attention to, not A holes that erode your self esteem.

Men always treat a woman the best, at the beginning of the relationship. Sometimes they can maintain that standard: KEEPERS

Sometimes they get comfortable and take everything for granted: BOUNCERS


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## missnadia (Dec 5, 2006)

I don't know.. Sometimes anger and resentment make it so that neither of you treat the other the best... Are you saying everything should be rosy in a relationship at all times?


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## Dragonfly (Dec 5, 2006)

It would be great to be in a relationship that was always rosey but the reality is relationships have ups and downs.

Both of you have to decide if you want the relationship to work. One person doing all the work and the other not really caring is not a healthy, balanced relationship. A healthy relationship has mutual respect, caring, and trust.

If you had a girlfriend that jerked you around, disrespected you and took you for granted, how long would you tolerate her behaviour before you ended the friendship?

When your partner's attitude and behaviour runs the relationship into the ditch, are you going to call for assistance because he is not around to pick up the pieces. Or are you going to abandon the wreck and look for something new?


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## DarkBlackRose (Dec 6, 2006)

Do the same thing to him.

Make him miss you!

Don't call him for a while, even though you are dieing to do it!

I'm sure he'll call. ;]


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## StrangerNMist (Dec 11, 2006)

I say "hop to it". He sounds like he's being a complete *******, and you shouldn't let him get away with it. Do not let him get away with it.


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## abridget (Mar 18, 2007)

I honestly had a boyfriend who acted exactly like that once. It only lasted 6 months because what they say about relationships is TOTALLY true - "if it isn't growing, it's dying." Like plants or something. If he isn't putting in the effort, it could TOTALLY be all about him and nothing to do about you or how good a girlfriend you are. Some people are simply "incapable."


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## TheJadedDiary (Mar 18, 2007)

deff bounce.


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## Saje (Mar 18, 2007)

A vote for bounce too. Its one thing to have some space during an argument but to totally ignore you like that is just selfish especially if he knows youre upset. He cant run away from problems... its immature and selfish.


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## blueangel1023 (Mar 18, 2007)

I was in your shoes once awhile back. The way you're describing your bf is pretty much how my ex is...except my ex was prolly 3x as bad. lol, but it got to the point where I couldn't put up with his BS anymore, so I just packed my stuff and left. I never looked back and I didn't regret it. Tbh, it was more of a relief off my chest and I never felt more free in my life. You're lucky your bf didn't have any kids or on any type of drugs for that matter. Not only did I have to deal with my exe's loserish friends, drugs habits, and other nonsense, but I couldn't deal with the constant arguing and being MIA (missing in action) I know he had issues with his ex since she had a kid with him, but it's no reason to totally ignore me. He'd call when he wants to, and then there's times you wouldn't hear from him in days, wks, months, and then all of a sudden just when you think he's out of your life...he calls you out of nowhere. I took him back twice, and to no avail I learned it the hard way. Two yrs of my life wasted just to be with him. Sure he was there for me physically, but it was more about himself and he didn't have a care in the world for anyone else's feelings for that matter. One day, I finally came to my senses...I left him a voicemail and said "dont ever call me again" and I cut off his cell phone line (it was under my name at the time) lol, that felt great.

Now, I don't know how much of my story is similar to yours in any way...but the fact stands that they are a**holes and you don't need that. lol, so I say this to you now. Cut him loose girl! You could do much better. Don't even bother giving him back the stuff that he gave you...that would probably result in a bigger conflict. Trust me, I know. Just throw 'em away or burn 'em. Whatever you decide to do, know that what doesn't kill you...makes you stronger.


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## Savvy_lover (Mar 18, 2007)

its not always rosy in relationships and i have threatened my bf i would leave when we are having an argument but i never did actually leave coz i care and i love him a lot. but if he actually leaves and never changes his way after u talked to him then he doesnt deserve you.


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## Ashley (Mar 18, 2007)

I think he continually does that to you because he knows it bothers you and it hurts you, but you'll tolerate it and try to make things work. He's assuming you'll always be there but I think it's time to give him a wake-up call and leave him for someone else who does deserve you.


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## dixiewolf (Mar 18, 2007)

I had a boyfriend who didnt call me for a whole week once, and then called, and acted like nothing was wrong. I had cried for days, assuming we had broken up. He was always busy doing (working out 2 hours a day, or just vegging at home without me). I dumped him, but we never stopped being friends, not good friends, but a call or email every now and then, and it's been 10 years, lol.


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## MissXXXrae (Mar 18, 2007)

yeah i know what its like to be in a bad relationship. its hard at first because u love him butit takes 2 to make a relationship work. you are a great girl and dont deserve a guy who doesnt treat you the way you should. it seams like he has a little growing up to do but stay strong because once u are gone he will realize that it was his fault and that he had a great thing and lost it . if u decide to break up with him do not take him back!!!!!! because then he won and he will keep up the same behavior. its all a game u will realize u r better off with out him and a great guy will come along and you will be like omg why did i waste my time! i am so much happier now!!

goood luck!!!!!!!!!!!


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## Ricci (Mar 18, 2007)

men huh?

Try to get over him ,, its a vicious cycle that most likely cant break


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## MissXXXrae (Mar 18, 2007)

yep i agreeeee


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## -Liz- (Mar 18, 2007)

girl, if yoiu cant work through it, get out of it, he is selfish and getting everything right and it being rosy all thre time isnt what its about, its the trying tht count and he obviousloy is a fair weather boyfriend were here for you though!


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