# Jealous of his French ex!



## stellargirl9 (Jun 3, 2007)

Ok, I KNOW I am being ridiculous. I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year now. I am American, he is Scottish. (adding that in, since I'm obsessing about nationalities with the ex). His ex is French- they broke up 2 years ago, were together for 4 years. She has NOT re-entered the picture, so its not like anything has happened to make me feel all this jealousy, but its basically just cause she is French. I know thatâ€™s crazy, but as an American I have this stereotype in mind of French woman (you know, the whole glamorous, etc thing). Also she is an actress to boot (not a famous one, but still I am jealousy about that too) The thing is I know I am prettier than her, I also know he obviously has chosen ME and not her. But why can't I get these crazy thoughts out of my head? I keep having nightmares about their life together, etc and feeling all insecure and crazy. Why am I being so silly?


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## Dragonfly (Jun 3, 2007)

Reading the first part of your post, I am getting the opinion that he was single and apart from her for a year, then he meats you and hooks up with you. And now you have been together with him for close to a year. She is no longer a part of his life, she isn't calling him and he isn't telling you he still thinks of her.

But then you wrote the following "he chose me and not her".

Were you in the picture when he was still with her? Did he leave her for you?

Or did I read something incorrectly?


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## stellargirl9 (Jun 3, 2007)

I just suck at posting clearly. lol. You are correct....he was with her, then single for a year after they broke up...then me and him met and have been together for a year. When I said "He chose me, not her" I meant I am the girl he is with, if he wanted her then he wouldn't have broke up with her in the first place.

Just to add a couple more details- he never mentions her, yet I obsess over her. She isn't even in the country anymore- she is back in France now.


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## Dragonfly (Jun 4, 2007)

Thanks for explanation.

I was wondering if you had underlying guilt over the relationship. But clearly, you have no reason to feel guilty.

Sounds like something is triggering your feelings.

Is your boyfriend wanting to go to another level with you?

Is he talking about making your relationship more permanent?

Is he asking more from you and you feel insecure about doing what he is asking?

Example - He wants to bring the boss home for dinner and you want to make a great impression for yourself and for your boyfriend.

I know it wasn't the best example but it's all I can think of lol


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## AprilRayne (Jun 4, 2007)

Maybe Scottish men have a think for American women instead of European and his French ex is really jealous of you! I know you tend to think of other countries as glamorous and exotic and yours is just boring and normal, but maybe you're glamorous and exotic to him! I know it bothers anyone to think of a life they had with the past, but you had past relationships too, so just put it behind you and move on! (I have to give myself that advice at times too)


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## missnadia (Jun 4, 2007)

Maybe because they're both European, and you're American, you feel like there's some level at which she could relate to him that's unaccessible to you. I think it's quite common to experience this when 2 people come from different cultures. You feel like you just will never "get" some of his cultural background, that you just can't relate to that and the two of you will never be on the same wavelength in that domain.

You just have to accept that both your cultures are different, and that while he can bond culturally with his fellow europeans, cultural bonding is obviously NOT *priority *for him, since he's open to dating other cultures and he chose you. Instead of letting your insecurities eat you up, try to find out more about his culture, and share about yours. Ask him questions about his country and try to find out as much as you can, and don't stress about it.


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## Allie47 (Jun 4, 2007)

Jealousy is normally based on one's own insecurities. If you are secure of yourself and your boyfriend, and other cirmcumstances have not given you any reason to doubt his sincerity and honesty, you need to look inward at yourself and try to identify why you feel insecure in your relationship. Maybe it is something that you carry with you from your previous experiences. It is best that you try to define the source and deal with that first because it will probably interfere with all of your relationships in one form or another.

Regarding the present, please do not let your insecurities destroy your current situation. Men in general do not like unnecessary and unexplainable jealousy. Eventually you may unintentionally reveal your feelings about his ex and it may back-fire on you. Good luck.


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## pinkbundles (Jun 4, 2007)

I think it's natural to feel that kind of jealousy over an ex. But you have to let it go eventually. Just remember, he's with you not her!


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## BeneBaby (Jun 5, 2007)

I totally know what you mean! Sometimes I see women from other cultures and get a tinge of jealousy, and my Man didn't even date one!! Whether it's the accent, the style, the look...it's just something different that we might not have. But I am certain she would feel the same about you. We all envy what we are not. The funny thing is that American culture has really cultivated that "Sexy French Girl" stereotype.

My advice. Try to stop thinking about it. There is an ocean between them and clearly he adores you.


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## melpaganlibran (Jul 7, 2007)

ah well, no one can compete with a memeory and since she is gone that is all she can be to him. cheer up already &amp; don't torture yourself with a past yourman cannot change and probably seldom thinks about. have you told him how you feel? he might think it's silly or charming perhaps you can just laugh it off XD i have been jealous of past g/fs too i think we are all not-immune to that , no one is perfect.


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## Noonz (Aug 6, 2007)

By thinking like that you'll ruin your life with ur BF.So,enjoy having &amp; loving 'em....

I think that whatever happens was ment 2 be..So Be HAPPY darling.


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## missmala (Aug 6, 2007)

Honey, im french too...i know the stereotypical image of french women being so glamorous but believe me, we are all the same deep down. maybe brought up a little different but let me reasure u that he's with u and u fill him more than the french ex so dont worry about it ^_^ /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" /> he's YOUR man


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## Savvy_lover (Aug 6, 2007)

i never thot of french gurl being sexier. but that is becoz i never met an french girl be4 lol!!

okej yes i did but she just look like any european to me.

then i do think a lot fo swedish gurl i have met are HOT


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## farris2 (Aug 7, 2007)

I have a scottish ex.....


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## emily_3383 (Aug 7, 2007)

You are just being silly. It will be ok!


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