# Social questions...



## luxotika (Jan 8, 2007)

Hmm....maybe she doesn't want to do anything but lay-low on the weekends, and wants to go out during the week. Not sure??!


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## pinkbundles (Jan 8, 2007)

i have no idea! that's weird.


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## dlwt2003 (Jan 8, 2007)

Maybe she is with family alot on weekends?


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## MacForMe (Jan 8, 2007)

I have a friend that I talk too all week long, I don't really get to talk to her on the weekends, even though I'd like too. She has ALOT to do at home and with her family.

If your friend hasn't said anything, just ask! be casual and say something like "maybe this weekend we can go shopping, when we'll have more time together to hang out".. see what she says.. if she says no, hopefully she'll give you a reason.. if not, let it lie, then ask another time.. if she says no again, then casually bring it up that she never wants to do anything on the weekends when time is better.. since worknights are harder.. see what she says.. just don't do it accusingly..


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## Little_Lisa (Jan 8, 2007)

Yeah, maybe she likes to spend the weekend with her family or just lay low like someone else mentioned. Otherwise, I dunno. To me, the weekend is the time to go out and have fun!


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## dreamer (Jan 8, 2007)

*YES*

She could accept your invitations if she chose to,however, she doesn't. Don't internalize it or dwell on it. It doesn't mean something is wrong with you.


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## veilchen (Jan 8, 2007)

I'm sure it does not mean that she doesn't like being together with you! If she didn't enjoy your company, I think she probably wouldn't even be meeting you during the week.

My guess is also that she likes to lay low - that's my thought because I'm the same! I prefer to meet up with friends during the week after work or so and I'm glad when I can be lazy and don't have to get ready for anything on the weekends. I don't have a boyfriend and I seldom spend the weekend with my parents or grand-parents, I just like to have some "me-time" and time to work on my Ph.D. Sometimes I don't even leave the house from Friday night till Monday morning - I love it. Probably it sounds dead boring *lol* but that's where I get my energy from, just like many others do from dancing, etc.

Maybe your friend's attitude is similar?!


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## veilchen (Jan 10, 2007)

I completely understand you, especially when you run your own business where there are no set working hours! My mum runs her own business, she'd never be able to meet anyone during the week, neither on Saturdays because even then she has to work ...

It's not that I absolutely refuse to meet friends at the weekend, I just prefer to meet during the week if it's ok for both persons, and really for both. I have to say that I'm in a lucky position since I work only part-time in the a.m. and most of my friends do so as well (or don't work at all) because they're also still students with quite some spare time, so we can organize everything much more easily and meet for lunch, afternoon tea, etc. But if I really want to see someone and he only has time at the weekend, that's also fine with me.

I understand that you feel to give too much without getting anything back when you are always the one to accomodate the others while no one wants to see to your needs.

Mhm, it's difficult ... I once had a friend, also a student who did work but only twice a week and also only half a day each, but who never was able to make it when I suggested. Since I really wanted to see her I went out of may way to make it happen, even accepting to meet for breakfast at a cafÃ© when this would mean to be late for work for an hour and a half. I even once took an entire day off for her since she never could make it although I was willing to meet her every single day after work and also at the weekend; but she didn't even have time at the weekend (don't ask me what she actually did, certainly not study all the time because her grades were bad and while I'm working on my Ph.D. now, she still hasn't even completed her M.A.).

But I had to run after her like after a puppy ... she never suggested anything herself and never seemed to want to agree no matter how much I went out of my way. So at last I ended the friendship - if I try everything I can and make every effort yet this person still doesn't want to or whatever, then she's obviously not as interested as much in our friendship as I am. Friendship ought to have a balance of give and take, of accomodating others but also being accomodated oneself - each at their time. As soon as there's such an imbalance it becomes unfair for one person ...

I did the radical thing, I never initiated a meeting again and never wrote another message or phoned her, and neither has she! I actually never talked to her again.

I don't want to pretend to any advice, but maybe talk to her about it? Not in an accusing manner but like "I was wondering whether you maybe don't like going out together with me as much as I enjoy going out with you". She must reply something, maybe there's just a tiny misunderstanding?!


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## miss_makeup (Jan 10, 2007)

not all the pple in this world have the same plans of their weekends

i think friendship will not end if you 2 didn't share the same weekend or the same hoppies ....etc

you can be friend with someone you don't even know (internet, penpal)

as friend i think you should understand and try to have more relationships

with other friends .


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## emily_3383 (Jan 10, 2007)

I would just ask her why she doesnt want to meet on the weekends.


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## bluebird26 (Jan 10, 2007)

May be she's "another person" on the weekends  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" /> (ok,I watch too many movies!)


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## SimplyElegant (Jan 10, 2007)

I don't know. Maybe she reserves her weekends for her closest, best friends and can only hang out during the week with her other friends.


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## pinksugar (Jan 24, 2007)

I also had one of those 'only meet on her terms' friends.. basically, if you back off, if she enjoys your company she will do the running for a bit. And if she isn't bothered enough then you havent lost anything much. But I'm sure that she's just busy. Geez, sometimes people are selfish, huh!


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## han (Jan 24, 2007)

i was thinking the same thing.. while i agree that she may spend time with family and lay low on weekends once in awhile but all the time and cant fit you in once in awhile sounds shady, i think she may be involved with some one


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## pinksugar (Jan 25, 2007)

sometimes, people are just to busy or involved with themselves to notice when other people are struggling. I say, stop inviting her out as much, or tell her you are only available on the weekends for a while.

I have a boyfriend and I'm available to my friends on weekends, I agree with you, you should be included once in a while too.


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## enyadoresme (Jan 28, 2007)

just don't take it personally that's where most problems come in


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## mintesa (Jan 28, 2007)

i agree i wouldnt take it personally.

and good luck on setting you up. yay  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

i ones couldnt meet my friend for 4 weeks. i was just to busy. and when i had time, i actually just wanted to relax or sleep. and i didnt really want to explain that to her. i didnt wanna say "no sorry i will just hang out at home" but anyway it happens to us very often. and we never take it personally.


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## Kookie-for-COCO (Feb 2, 2007)

I like to "check out" on the week-ends. Lots of times we just get sick on being around people. Week-ends are Mine. Hmmmm that sounds selfish.???


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## abridget (Mar 18, 2007)

I'm pretty "selfish" too I guess, because I usually would rather have alone time/quiet time rather than be bothered with being social. My mom's a shrink though and I could just hear her saying how within every relationship, each person has needs. If the needs of each vary too greatly then it probably won't ever work (some people need to feel more needed, etc. and others are more content without being fussed over). I am NO expert however because I haven't had even a half-way good friend in almost 10 years.


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