# My world just crumbled to pieces...



## Maja (Jul 30, 2007)

I know I've been MIA for a while, but I'm sure some of you still remember me






I really need some words of wisdom and support right now.

My bf and I just broke up after 8 years. I feel so lost right now... Our lives have just gone different directions and we started wanting different things in life. I wanted to move in together, get married and start a family, but he didn't. The last two week have been really terrible and deep down I know it's probably for the best, I but it still hurts so much.

I'm so lost, I'm not used to being single. I don't even know what to do right now, how to live - I know it sounds stupid...


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## Aquilah (Jul 30, 2007)

OMG! Maja, I'm SOOOOO sorry sweetie! Especially after everything that happened a while back with his health! I really don't have any sound words to make it any better, but do know we're here for you! I'm on MSN right now if you want to talk! Where's Polona and Ursa to give you real hugs for me?!


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## empericalbeauty (Jul 30, 2007)

Oh wow ::Huge hugs:: Thats terrible. I dont know exactly what to tell you but I do know it will get better. The pain will slowly ease and soon he will become a distant memory.


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## SqueeKee (Jul 30, 2007)

Oh Maja, I'm so sorry you're going through this





And you don't sound stupid, not at all! My BFF just went through something similar with her fiance last year. They didn't want the same thing and decided to break it off even though they still loved each other. It was so hard on her, she grieved for about 6 months straight





I wish I knew the right things to say, but I don't





Will hugs be okay instead?

*hugs*


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## Harlot (Jul 30, 2007)

You know the old saying "Time heals all"? Indeed. Because you been with him so long (almost a decade) itll hurt even more and even if it will take more time to get it together, you will get there. As we get older, our priorities usually change. Im sorry that he didnt want to start a family with you, but I cant bash him since if you been with him so long, he must have a reason that seems rational, atleast to him.

You cant feel "lost" just because of some dude though



.There will always be someone that is better, faster, stronger, and all around more ideal for you. Youll feel better within time, just give yourself hope. Hang out with old friends tea time. Involve yourself in extracurricular activities. Anything that lets your mind offset from this unfun event. As for not knowing how it feels to be single, since your used to not being alone, it might feel cold and empty for a while. But being single can be fun too



You dont have to be with someone to make you happy. It is you who makes yourself either love or hate yourself. I hope youll feel back tonormal very soon


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## jewele (Jul 30, 2007)

Well I went through a situation like yours a few years back. My BF of five years moved out and I was completely by myself. It was hard, I shut myself off from everything besides work and became a loner. It felt so weird not having him around, and I wanted him back. But now that I think about it I just wanted companionship, and I found that within myself (I know that sounds odd). About after half a year and a half I grew to learn who I was, what I wanted and needed. It felt great to be myself, and do what I want when I want. I learned so much about myself that it surprised me. I think this might be a blessing in disguise for you. Everything will be okay.


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## Saje (Jul 31, 2007)

Hugs to you. I can say all these things but I know only time will be the true healer.

Just know that we are here for you. &lt;3


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## pinkbundles (Jul 31, 2007)

Hi, Maja! Of course I remember you! How could I forget?

I'm sooo sorry you and your bf broke up. It's a terrible situation to be in, but honestly, if you wanted different things in life, it wasn't going to work. It's better that you broke up now while you can still recover from it and move on as oppose to doing everything you want that he doesn't and end up in divorce where the stakes are much higher.

It's going to be tough for a while b/c the past eight years have been revolving around eachother's lives, families and that routine. But you will get through it. The two things you shouldn't EVER do in this time of healing is: be alone or listen to sad songs. It won't help you. Trust me!

Hang in there and know that we're all here to cheer you up! *hugs*


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## Bec688 (Jul 31, 2007)

Awww Maja



I'm so sorry to hear that, all the girls have given great advice. It's a terrible thing to go through and I understand the feeling of being lost, try and keep yourself busy and surround yourself with your friends and family..try and keep your chin up..you'll get through this fine, I'm sure of it





Look after yourself hun.... *big hugs*


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## KimC2005 (Jul 31, 2007)

Maja, I do remember you!! You have been missed! I just wanted to tell you that I am so sorry for what you are going through. I dont have any major words of advice, but I can tell you that like the other girls have said with time the pain will lessen. Just use this time for yourself and do all of those things that you haven't gotten to do but have been wanting to do.


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## AprilRayne (Jul 31, 2007)

He made a big mistake!! You are gorgeous and so talented and such a sweet girl. He's going to realize what he lost, because he was too afraid to commit! I hope that you find someone wonderful, that wants the same things you want really soon! Be happy, it'll be okay!!


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## han (Jul 31, 2007)

i dont have any advice either but i hope you get through this and feel better soon.


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## chantelle8686 (Jul 31, 2007)

oh hun im sooo sorry about wat had happened!!

The other girls have said great advice already.

try to make sure that u do grieve properly, and see if there is some way that u guys can still stay in contact. surround urself with friends and family and make sure u keep ur head held high!!

You will like this for quiet sometime, as YES it is normal to take a while to get over someone.

Just carry urself with pride and confidence and just let thing fall into place.

Thinkin of ya Hugs


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## La_Mari (Jul 31, 2007)

OH no! I'm so sorry. I don't know what to say to make it better, but really, this is so sad.








But I guess what I would do, besides trying not to think about what went wrong, is try to relax myself from all the drama that happened because it doesn't matter now. That's one of the things I hate about a relationship, is dealing with compramise, bills that we both have to take care of, job stress and then having to come home to his stress too, different personalities and each others pet peeves.

When it gets hard, take deep breaths, it ALWAYS helps me so that I stop crying so much. Take care, -mari


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## Karen_B (Jul 31, 2007)

I'm sorry you guys broke up.


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## SierraWren (Jul 31, 2007)

Oh,of course I remember you--you may not remember me--but,OMG, you have definitely been missed here!!!And though I'm happy to hear from you again, under these circumstances, I'm not as happy, because you are,of course, so very sad right now. I feel so sad for you, too.It makes it harder to know what to say, except to add that the other girls have said so many insightful and supportive things already.

Here's something maybe slightly similar: Though I was with him barely 3 years,a dozen years ago I was engaged to marry the man I then considered "the absolute love of my life." We were to be married Feb.13th,then,exactly a month before, he told me he "couldn't go through with it," that he "just didn't love me, enough."He was so afraid of commitment, he had actually been cheating on me for months--and all this other,stunning,shocking stuff started erupting from him,like how he "didn't want to be stuck with me his whole life."He had always been so loving before,so tender,always led me to believe we wanted the same things in life, that I didn't understand the change at all...To be honest,I still don't. My world--and it really felt like he was my world--also crumbled to inexplicable pieces.

I do think men panic, more than women do, in relationships, and have a tendency to throw away good or wonderful things(like you)in their brief, blind alarm.But perhaps it's "best"(in the loosest sense of the word)you know about him now, rather than months or years into a marriage

or live-in situation.

As for what to do now:though it's hard to believe,you still have absolutely everything you had before him. You are beautiful,talented, intelligent, compassionate,and charismatic:not a young woman destined to be alone for long.And by that,I am not talking about boyfriends(though you could get one in a day,if you chose)but about friends--spending time with them, being with them, making sure,too,the closest ones understand right now your fear of being alone/single w/out immediately trying to "set you up." As another poster said, you spent almost a decade of your life with this man, and that itself is worth the mourning necessary for you to truly one day start over, with that much more experience and wisdom on your side.

If you ever need to talk,vent,or whatever,please PM me--and/or rewrite to the board, to update us on how things are going. I'm so glad you decided to contact us again,though so very sorry you are suffering right now.


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## Geek (Jul 31, 2007)

Oh darn! That's sad Maja. Well, you know we from MUT are always here to say hi.

Sorry to hear it, hopefully you can put it all together.


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## Savvy_lover (Jul 31, 2007)

i m not experienced in this kinda things i m sorry i cant be more help but i ll be here on mut to listen to what u say and try to help share your grief. ur very beautiful and young and u ll find yourself some other guy someday and u ll live happily ever after



just try your best to seeit as one closer step towards your true love !*big Hugs*


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## Maja (Jul 31, 2007)

Thanks everyone for all your words and hugs. I really appreciate it


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## Solimar (Jul 31, 2007)

Hey, I know you probably don't know me, and I really don't know you, though I have read your posts. I wanted to say that I know how much it hurts, and I wanted to add my two cents in. Time doesn't heal anything, in time you will be able to move on with your life, but time doesn't do the healing. What does the healing is allowing yourself to move through that grieving process. That process can take weeks, a few months, but the thing is that you need to do it fully and whatever feels most natural to you. It may take time and strength, but you WILL get through it, you will make it through the grief, and you'll be better because of it.

When a long term boyfriend and I broke up, I knew it was time to be over...and though it hurt, I made the decision. I cried so hard, and felt so horrible, but I can honestly tell you that after all that time I was with him, I was expecting the hurt to be there for many years to come...and in around two months, I was alright.

It is different for everyone, but it happens the same way. Denial, anger, depression, bargaining, acceptance...and that acceptance is coming, and after that, endless possibilities.

I'm sorry for your loss, and I am sorry you are hurting, but it will get better...but take your time. Lots of love and hugs!


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## jessimau (Jul 31, 2007)

I'm so sorry Maja. He's an idiot and there are better people and things out there for you. Give yourself time to grieve and be sad, but don't let yourself get stuck there. I find that getting mad is the next step, and then you can release that anger and start moving forward. You are a wonderful woman with a lot to offer. Take time to get to know yourself again and get back to doing everything you love doing. Hang out with friends during times you and he would've been doing something. Most importantly, take care of yourself and let us know any time you need support and virtual hugs. You'll get through this! *HUG*


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## KristieTX (Aug 1, 2007)

Aw Maja, I'm so sorry to hear this. You have definitely been missed around here. Just know that we are here for you and you will get past this. *hugs*


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## StrangerNMist (Aug 1, 2007)

I know that you don't know me personally either, but I just wanted to offer my condolences for your loss.

It can be hard to end a long-term relationship, and it takes time to heal after taking such a big break. Like others have mentioned, it's best to take it one day at a time. Mourn if you have to mourn, and cry if you need to because there's no use in trying to hide beneath a brave face - it's not healthy and it causes problems in the long run.

All of us girls are here if you ever feel like you need a shoulder to lean on, or someone to talk to. Even during times like these, everyone needs a good friend to lend a comfortable shoulder to cry on.

Try to get to know yourself again, your whole self.

I hope this helps. *Great Big Bear Hugz*

Strange


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## farris2 (Aug 1, 2007)

I remember ya! I'm sorry to hear this though,and I know how you feel.I went through 2 major breakups in my life...the 2nd one almost killed me. I did things I would never do and that I regret now. It will get better,I know it doesnt seem that way though.We are here for you.


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## sweetnsexy6953 (Aug 1, 2007)

Oh geez Im sorry your going through this. I know it must be really hard. 8 years and now this. You will pull through this but it will just take some time to heal the wounds. Things will start looking up for you. Just give it some time and you'll see. ***Hugs***


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## ivette (Aug 1, 2007)

i'm sorry maja


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## Andi (Aug 4, 2007)

IÂ´m so sorry to hear this, Maja!!! I donÂ´t know what to say to you because nothing will help for now. Wow this makes me really sad too





Remember we love you here on MuT! Hugs from Austria!!!


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## michal_cohen (Aug 4, 2007)

Originally Posted by *Maja* /img/forum/go_quote.gif I know I've been MIA for a while, but I'm sure some of you still remember me




I really need some words of wisdom and support right now.

My bf and I just broke up after 8 years. I feel so lost right now... Our lives have just gone different directions and we started wanting different things in life. I wanted to move in together, get married and start a family, but he didn't. The last two week have been really terrible and deep down I know it's probably for the best, I but it still hurts so much.

I'm so lost, I'm not used to being single. I don't even know what to do right now, how to live - I know it sounds stupid...

dont look at that in that way

i broke up with mine after 9 years

and i found myself lost in this big world

i forgot who i am

i used to be with him all the time to do and to see everything toghter

but than i realized if i dont know who i am without him its mean that this connection didnt was good for me

he didnt allowed me to work or to talk with ppl he was affriad that ill go away

and because he close me that way i gotta break free

now maybe im alone the last 9 month

but im working

i cant say that i found friends yet

but i got our great mut family that helps me with everything ...

in every time i want

what more can i ask?

i know how its hard to wake up alone and to go to all the placed you used to go

but remember if its gone its gone

and its mean that youll find someone better

every pain and everything that you are going trow will paid in the end and youll find the one who will make you complit

so chin up and smile

its not the end it just the begining of your new life

now you can do everything you ever wanted....


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## pinksugar (Aug 5, 2007)

I know im a late poster on this thread but just wanted to let you know that I've been where you are and it does get better. If you need to talk, whinge, *****, anything at all, just pm me



I'm here to listen if you need someone!

feel better soon


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## enyadoresme (Aug 26, 2007)

if i were you i'd go on a shopping spree eat lots of ice cream and watch waiting to exhale with kleenex and my BFF do whta makes you feel better


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## mandy_ (Aug 27, 2007)

I know how you feel sweetie. Last November my boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me. I'm still struggling with it to this day, because I still have alot of love for him in my heart. It crushes me to know he doesn't feel the same.

Everything happens for a reason though, and you'll find someone who makes you 10x happier one day &lt;33 If you need anything PM me, because like I said, I know exactly how you feel.


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## Zoey (Aug 28, 2007)

OMG how could I miss this thread





Maja,I am so sorry to hear this, it's been a while,but I still live same place,so cooooome visit! And Mango will love ya too  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />


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## Aquilah (Aug 28, 2007)

Originally Posted by *Zoey* /img/forum/go_quote.gif OMG how could I miss this thread



Maja,I am so sorry to hear this, it's been a while,but I still live same place,so cooooome visit! And Mango will love ya too  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

I wanna come visit too!


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## Zoey (Aug 28, 2007)

Ohhh please do,your more than welcome


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## daer0n (Aug 28, 2007)

Oh my, im honestly sorry, i know how you must be feeling, breaking up with a person that you really love/loved, and whom you have spent a lot of time with, is truely hard, and i am sorry i can't make you feel better just by saying that i understand how you feel, but i know that things will get better for you, because something really good comes out of something bad, *hugs*


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## MissMissy (Aug 29, 2007)

oh my.. im so sorry to hear that dear.. i wouldnt know how to get back in the game if something like that happend to me.. Im so sorry hunny... i cant imagine how u feel except probley alone. sad and .... i am a loss of words.. good luck hunny..


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## PaperFlowers (Aug 30, 2007)

Oh sweetheart, I'm so sorry.



It's so hard to end a relationship like that, it takes a long time to get over it. Just give yourself time grieve. It's all right to, and time does eventually take care of things. You just have to let it.


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## marshall1704 (Sep 9, 2007)

Awww hun. I'm very sorry to hear about this. Things will get better.


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## shimmersweetie (Sep 25, 2007)

Are things getting better for you? I don't know you and I'm new here, but if you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to send me a message! I'm pretty sure I know what you are going through...my husband has just filed for divorce and we have been together for 7 years. I feel numb and hate the idea of being single! I hope you are feeling better since you posted your message, but I'd love to hear an update. *Hugs*


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## Kookie-for-COCO (Sep 27, 2007)

Maja, this has happened to all of us--it hurts like hell. It is like you can't even take a deep breath--and sleeping is out of the question. Pamper yourself--use soothing candles, long bubble baths, buy yourself something new and keep in mind that it is better that you found out now before you got even more involved and it hurts more. SO sorry you are hurting--remember that when one door closes another is about to open--just wait and watch. luv ya Hun


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## Jennifer (Sep 28, 2007)

maja, i am soooooooooooooooo sorry. i can't believe that. are you doing better? update us. i'm sorry


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## Marisol (Sep 28, 2007)

Originally Posted by *Jennifer* /img/forum/go_quote.gif maja, i am soooooooooooooooo sorry. i can't believe that. are you doing better? update us. i'm sorry



I agree. I had not seen this thread. How are you? Sending you a massive hug.


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## Maja (Sep 30, 2007)

Hey guys! Thank you all for your support and kind words.

And now I found out that his seeing someone. Already after 2 months! God, I hate men right now.... and my heart is in pieces again...


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## Zoey (Sep 30, 2007)

awww sweety



I am so sorry hun! *hugs*


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## MamaRocks (Sep 30, 2007)

Thinking of you =)

It'a hard to have such a big change in your life and it probably feels like youre completly lost right now. Be strong because you will gain a little more confidence with every passing day.

((( hug )))


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## KellyB (Sep 30, 2007)

Originally Posted by *Maja* /img/forum/go_quote.gif Hey guys! Thank you all for your support and kind words.And now I found out that his seeing someone. Already after 2 months! God, I hate men right now.... and my heart is in pieces again...





Bahhh men. They can't stand to be alone. I'm so sorry that you are going through this. It will get better, I promise. It takes time and the only way to live is simply day to day. Focus on yourself right now. Do some things that you like to do even if you don't want to. hugs to you.


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## Jennifer (Oct 1, 2007)

Originally Posted by *Maja* /img/forum/go_quote.gif Hey guys! Thank you all for your support and kind words.And now I found out that his seeing someone. Already after 2 months! God, I hate men right now.... and my heart is in pieces again...





my heart is in pieces for you



i'm so sorry. please PM me if you ever need to talk.


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## Marisol (Oct 1, 2007)

Originally Posted by *Maja* /img/forum/go_quote.gif Hey guys! Thank you all for your support and kind words.And now I found out that his seeing someone. Already after 2 months! God, I hate men right now.... and my heart is in pieces again...





I am so sorry. We all know what a great girlfriend you were to Matej especially in the past year when he wasn't doing ok. Hang in there and we are here for you.


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## -Liz- (Oct 1, 2007)

oh Maja! o dont know what to say but i send tons of hugs your way!


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## karrieann (Oct 1, 2007)

i'm sorry luv.

i'm not surprised that he is already seeing someone. men are gross that way. so easy come, easy go. i will never understand that.

we love you and understand all too well...

xoxo


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## pinksugar (Oct 1, 2007)

what a ****. Hopefully she'll ditch him in a really embarrassing and painful way!

and karrie is right.. WE love you! we're all here for you and hopefully things will pick up soon!


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## Maja (Oct 22, 2007)

Quick update:

Me and my ex haven't spoken in a while, which gave me a lot of time to think about things and I guess, when distance is involved, you get a whole new perspective. I thought a lot about how I wanted to live my life and what kind of person I wanted to share it with; and I realized my ex is not that kind of person. And our meeting a few days ago confirmed my thoughts.

I know I have changed and grown in the past year (got a steady job I love; got new interests, new plans, and goals); and I kind of expected Matej to grow with me and I developed an image in my head, of how he should be. I was too cought up in that image of him to realize that he's happy where he is - he doesn't want to get a steady job, doesn't want to grow up and doesn't want to get married because that would mean a deffinite end to his youth.





As I mentioned, we met a few days ago and I felt nothing. It was like talking to my cousin. I did feel a bit sorry for him while he was telling me how much fun he's having partying all the time with his new girlfriend. I'm guessing it won't be long until she realizes that he's almost 30 and has nothing to show for.

Oh well, .... in the mean time I met a nice boy with a job and lots of goals. I don't know if this is going anywhere and we're taking it easy, so we'll see.


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## pinksugar (Oct 22, 2007)

that is awesome news! I'm so happy for you, you sound really settled, and you are definately in a good place emotionally. It's hard to be in that kind of situation, and how you deal with it shows you who you truly are. You're obviously a mature, sensible and loving individual, and I think it's great that you are not only out of that relationship, but even better, recovering from it all and in fact, growing and changing out of this!

*high fives!*


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## Marisol (Oct 22, 2007)

Originally Posted by *Maja* /img/forum/go_quote.gif Quick update: Me and my ex haven't spoken in a while, which gave me a lot of time to think about things and I guess, when distance is involved, you get a whole new perspective. I thought a lot about how I wanted to live my life and what kind of person I wanted to share it with; and I realized my ex is not that kind of person. And our meeting a few days ago confirmed my thoughts.

I know I have changed and grown in the past year (got a steady job I love; got new interests, new plans, and goals); and I kind of expected Matej to grow with me and I developed an image in my head, of how he should be. I was too cought up in that image of him to realize that he's happy where he is - he doesn't want to get a steady job, doesn't want to grow up and doesn't want to get married because that would mean a deffinite end to his youth.





As I mentioned, we met a few days ago and I felt nothing. It was like talking to my cousin. I did feel a bit sorry for him while he was telling me how much fun he's having partying all the time with his new girlfriend. I'm guessing it won't be long until she realizes that he's almost 30 and has nothing to show for.

Oh well, .... in the mean time I met a nice boy with a job and lots of goals. I don't know if this is going anywhere and we're taking it easy, so we'll see.

Oh I am so happy for you Maja. I am sure that the past few months have not been easy for you but now you are so much stronger and powerful than before. I am so excited for you and for this new beginning. You deserve someone who cares for who you are and has the same goals and dreams as you.


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## Sheikah (Oct 22, 2007)

Awesome!!! You're now a new woman with a world of possibilities in front of you. I'm looking forward to reaching that same state you're in now as I have broken up with my bf of 4 years recently. All in good terms though so we're not so devastated.

Keep up strong and growing!!


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## Zoey (Oct 24, 2007)

woooot,thats is sooo great Maja,now this made my day,yaaay,i am so happy for you!


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## pla4u (Oct 24, 2007)

so sorry to hear this,

it is allways hare to break up...do hope you heal swifty ..


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