# 27 ways to know if you've found the right relationship for you



## Little_Lisa (Sep 1, 2006)

27 ways to know if you've found the right relationship for you

By Stacy

There is nothing more glorious than falling in love! What a wonderful feeling it is, when, after all that searching and seeking, you finally hook up with that compatible mate. But wait! How can you know that the person you think is right for you, really right for you?

It's easy, well, maybe. All you have to do is make sure that you ask the appropriate questions -- queries that will help you establish how your likes and dislikes, and needs and wants, line up with those of your significant other (should that new love become truly significant in your life). And, of course, the reality has to match up to the answers to these questions.

At the right time and place, I suggest people exchange answers to the following questions:

1. Kids or no kids?

2. Smoking or no smoking?

3. Drinking or no drinking? (Same for drugs)

4. Religious beliefs: Match? Blend? Clash?

5. Who works? Who stays home (especially when the kids come along)?

6. Who wants to live where?

7. Who controls the checkbook?

8. What is his/her personal relationship with his/her family? Too distant? Too close?

Too weird? Appropriate to your standards?

9. How are holidays spent? At home? With family? Alone? Vacationing?

10. Windows opened or closed? Heat/AC on or off?

11. What side of the bed must you (he/she) sleep on?

12. Where to spend vacations? Leisure time?

13. Sick: Left alone or babied?

14. Appropriate gift giving: birthdays? Yuletide holidays? Special occasions?

15. Who does what around the house?

16. What is acceptable hygiene?

17. What are his/her hobbies, pastimes?

18. Preferences: Music? Movie? Book favorites?

19. Favorite foods?

20. Pets or no pets? What kind?

21. Decisions about the children: School, church, discipline, allowance,

extra curricular activities, friends, and curfew?

22. Mealtimes: Early or late?

23. Furniture: Vintage or Contemporary?

24. Sleeping habits: Four hours or eight?

Three more compatibility factors

If this list is not enough to help you determine whether or not your new love is right for you, try these as additional ways to size up the compatibility factor: How does your new love handle a crisis? Behave in public places? Treat your friends and family?

I also think you can tell a great deal about your new mate by the way he treats his mother and how she treats her father. Observing how a person regards that parent is key in establishing how he or she will treat you!

If you are in love -- if you've finally met Mr. or Ms. Right -- step back from all that awe and wonderment for a moment and get answers to all of the above. You will find out whether or not this new relationship (the one you've been looking for all this time) is one that will or will not last. As they say, love can be blind, but if it is going to last, love also has to be practical!


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## Brownshugaz (Sep 1, 2006)

good post Lisa


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## Jennifer (Sep 1, 2006)

great post! thanks


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## echanting (Sep 1, 2006)

good to know

thanks for the post Lisa


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## blackmettalic (Sep 1, 2006)

It would be a miracle to find someone with half of these things in common with!





Btw: What about SEX on the list (IE. similar drive, etc.)?!


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## blondie36 (Sep 1, 2006)

i wish i would of read this 9 years ago!!!


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## Gleam84 (Sep 1, 2006)

Great post Lisa.


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## janetsbreeze (Sep 1, 2006)

great post, thanks!


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## jaybe (Sep 1, 2006)

I've been with my bf for 16 years so we must be doing something right. People we knew were surprised when we first got together because our interests were very different. But we've always shared the same values - about what's important in life. I think these are all covered in your list, Lisa. I've managed to re-educate him on some of the things we didn't agree on.



But he still hasn't mastered the gift-giving and his personal hygiene doesn't always meet my standards!!


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## tala (Sep 14, 2006)

great post! thanks for posting


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## Tina Marie (Oct 9, 2006)

Great list! ... so many of those things can get easily overlooked and then they come back and bite you in the butt


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## Aquilah (Oct 9, 2006)

Awesome post Lisa! Thanks!


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## KimC2005 (Oct 9, 2006)

Great post.. And even those seem like minor things, they are still important.


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## Anika_1 (Oct 23, 2006)

Good points there Lisa!!


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## pinkbundles (Nov 11, 2006)

great post lisa! i didn't see this one.


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## xXMelissaXx (Nov 11, 2006)

Great post!


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## Leony (Nov 13, 2006)

Thanks for posting!


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## salsabeela (May 11, 2007)

Thanks for posting


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## princess_20 (May 11, 2007)

Thanx for posting!


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## La_Mari (Jun 4, 2007)

Thank you, I wish I knew that he wanted to go back to our hometown, but argghhhh, I'll have to live with it.


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## pinksugar (Jun 6, 2007)

I really like all those questions! it made me feel good to know that I knew the answers in all my relationships, for better or worse.

The only thing is... that how you treat your mother/father reflects on how you will treat your future mate. To an outside observer, it may not be obvious how much I love my father, because my relationship with my mum is overwhelmingly close. I adore my dad, but sometimes I feel bad because I just don't have the closeness I have with my mum.

The kind of relationship I have always been at pains to build with prospective partners would/has contained the same depth of love I have for my dad - but for me, communication is very important, and I just don't communicate directly with my dad - usually if it is something really important, I tell mum and she will tell him, and vice versa, despite the fact we get on really really well - if it is something we feel emotional about (for example, if he is not happy with my bf sleeping in my double bed) then he will complain to mum, who will explain how he feels. Then I would tell mum how I feel and she would pass on the result to him, or explain my point of view.

when I think about it, it's really bizare, and it certainly isn't something I would want to replicate in any of my sexual relationships


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## James (Jun 7, 2007)

Quote:
I also think you can tell a great deal about your new mate by the way he treats his mother and how she treats her father. Observing how a person regards that parent is key in establishing how he or she will treat you! Ahh, I *hate *it when people or articles say this. My boyfriend hasn't talked to his mother in four years and has never once had anything good to say about her. But he has never been anything less than respectful, and sweet, and caring to me. A bad relationship with one person doesn't dictate every future relationship that person has. If someone's terrible to their exes, or treats the people around them badly, like their friends or even waiters, then I have a whole lot less respect for them than if they have issues with a not necessarily good relationship that they've put up with for their entire lives.


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## shaikhaf (Sep 30, 2007)

awesome post, lisa!


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## enyadoresme (Oct 19, 2007)

wow this is stuff i never would have considered


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## FoxyMelly (Oct 30, 2007)

Awesome post !! You sure made me think about a couple things hehe.

Except i agree with James about the whole mother situation. My boyfriend is muslim which therefore means he can not be with me (a white girl). Him and his mom have never gotten along and she was really strict about his religion..and it eventually lead to some crazy obstacles but we overcame them. We now live together and his mother has disowned him and he doesnt ever want to talk to her again. SO my POINT being that.. i dont think it matters all thaty much about his relationship with his mom, i mean NOBODY has ever been so kind, caring and nurturing to my needs before and I plan to marry him. So i totally agree with James lol


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## pinksugar (Oct 30, 2007)

that's awesome foxy, that he would do that not only for you, but also for himself





it's really nice when people realise for themselves that a relationship is toxic and do something about it rather than whinge and moan but continue to put up with it.. your story made me smile !


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## FoxyMelly (Oct 30, 2007)

Awwwww im glad you liked it hehe. Ya it was definetly a hard time for both of us, his mom wanted an arranged marriage for him and well pretty much wud rather see her son unhappy than with me. But yes, he left his whole family behind for me and im so proud of him lol. He pretty much calls my mom "Mom" so it works out juuusttt right


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## pinksugar (Oct 30, 2007)

awww.. that's cute! I love happy endings


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## jakk-attakk (Oct 30, 2007)

thats really interesting. i guess you shouldnt throw all of those wquestions at him on the first date though right? lol x


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## zeze (Dec 6, 2007)

thanks


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## Asimina (Feb 22, 2008)

Thanks!!! Nice Posting


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