# Weight insecurities



## MandyPandy (Jan 25, 2007)

Well, sorry about this... I've only been here a couple of days and you're already having to listen to me whine :vogel:

I'm just having a really hard time lately. I've always been really into fashion and beauty and such, but about two years ago I went on a psychiatric medication that caused me to gain about 100 lbs over the past 2 yrs, coupled with years of dysfunctional eating (bulimia). Anyway, to make a long story short, I have gone from being a size 10 to being a size 22 in a very short period of time to gain so much weight, and I feel like absolute crap about myself. I am intimidated to go to school because all the girls there are so beautiful, and I feel so disgusting. I have tried and tried to lose the weight, but on this medication it seems to be impossible. I get up every morning and do my hair and my makeup, and try to pick clothes that don't make me look too terrible, but I just can't get over how horrible I feel about how I look. I started school last week, and at my school we have to take phys ed credits. I have had three phys ed classes, and I haven't even gone yet. Not even sure I can go now, or if I flunk automatically because4 I have missed so much school. I am absolutely terrified to go because I am so self-conscious about how I look. I also went back to school after some years working full time, and most of the other girls there are 18 and gorgeous (I am 24 and not gorgeous). Anyway, I am just so so scared, and worried that I'm going to fail my semester because I just feel like I can't do it. Sometimes it's so hard to keep from hating myself.


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## Dragonfly (Jan 25, 2007)

Hey Mandy, I can relate to your situation. 7 years ago I was diagnosed with a mood disorder with seizures. I put on lots of weight due to the medication.

I was on Olanzipine a few years ago and I was always hugry,

So I tried Seroquel and it's not so bad. My other meds don't help but I need them or I will become sick - hospital. So I can't change them.

I now take all my meds at bedtime, so I'm only hungry for 1-2 hours, before I fall asleep. I also do not have easy to eat foods in my apartment. I live alone - son on weekends - so it is easy for me to control what food comes into my house.

Have you tried Welbutrin or Topamax to help with appetit control?

My family doctor tried me on Xenical. I take a pill with every meal. It binds the fat in the food and flushes it out, so I only take in 1/3 of my fat grams.

I didn't like it because I eat low-fat anways. I needed to eat 60 g day for the medication to be effective. Xenical does not affect or interfere with my meds.

Let me know if any of my ideas help.


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## MandyPandy (Jan 25, 2007)

Thanks so much! I was so worried that someone was going to tell me I'm disgusting or something like that. The medication that makes me hungry all the time is risperdal, which is in the same class as the ones you've mentioned. My doctor also tried switching me to seroquel and it made me faint. I have also been better since I switched my risperdal to bed time, and I haven't gained any more weight, but it's so so hard to lose it once you've gained it. Especiall;y when you have so much to lose... it kind of makes you feel hopeless. :scared: Funny that you mention Wellbutrin, because I am on that, and it did help with the appetite at first, but after awhile that side effect wore away (it does make me feel better though). I've never heard of Xenical... not sure if we have it in Canada. Maybe I should ask my doctor about it. I really was hoping she would prescribe me somethiung to help lose the weight I've gained, but she won't (maybe because I have a history of eating disorders?).

Thanks so much  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

Amanda


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## Dragonfly (Jan 25, 2007)

I live in south western Ontario. Xenical is manufactured at Roche, in Ontario.

Ask your doctor for samples before you invest any money.

The sample had a 800 number. I called, and Roche sent me a great start up package. There was a personal food guide that was all about food in Canada, like Tim Horton's and Swiss Chalet.

They suggest 1800 cal and 60 grams fat. Eat 3 meals and 2 snacks and take a pill with each meal, not at snacks.

As I said, I didn't stick to the Xenical because I had to increase my fat intake in order for the pills to be effective. I tried to stick to a diet on my own.

I lost 20 lb this year. I ate 1800 to 2000 cal/day. I walked 30 minutes daily.

Road stationary bike 30 min 2-3 time week and weight trained 1-2 times week.

My weight went off from April to June, 1.5 lb week I have been able to keep it off.

I can completely understand your frustrations. Let me know if I can help anymore.


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## emily_3383 (Jan 25, 2007)

no way! i have weight issues too. Ive lost 15lbs so far but its hard to keep going but im trying. It sucks about your medication, it fixes one thing and thenit affects the other.


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## pinksugar (Jan 25, 2007)

of course no-one would tell you you're disgusting! what an awful thought, to reach out for help and have that happen.

In regards to the weight loss, all the best. I'm on the pill and even though I've probably only gained around 20 odd pounds on it, I know how you feel to be unable to control your weight regardless of how you treat your body!

In regards to the school, I would bite the bullet and explain to the teacher (in private) what your concerns are and why you havent turned up. Most teachers are really understanding and I'm sure that they would explain what you need to do to catch up. Don't worry at all about flunking the subject because you havent turned up yet.. it's only been a week!

I'm sure you'll be ok, you have lots of support from everyone here  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" /> Let us know how you go!


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## han (Jan 25, 2007)

maybe you should stop takeing the medications that cause you to gain a massive amount of unhealthy weight, you say its for your mental health, but the weight gain has cause you to be depressed and insecure to the point you dont want to go out of your house, i dont know how severe your psychiatric problems are for you to get on the medication to start with but if your condition wasnt fatal then i would consider not takeing them you dont want to get diabetes i dont mean to come off as harsh but im against psychiatric drugs i think they do more harm than good.


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## jessimau (Jan 25, 2007)

Hey Mandy! I'm sorry you're not feeling good about yourself. It's understandable with all you've been through and I imagine that it's especially frustrating because it feels beyond your control. You are beautiful no matter what, though, and anyone who would judge you for being in PE class and not being a tiny stick of a girl has something wrong with them.

Questions: Did you see a psychiatrist who prescribed the risperdal or was it prescribed by your regular doctor? Also, are there any other medications that you might be able to switch to (aside from seroquel?). I know there are a good deal of drugs in the same category as risperdal (the newer ... -- I don't want to say the exact classification b/c it's up to you whether or not you talk about what the disorder you've been diagnosed with is). Also, it's fairly common for there to be overlap of different disorders, most commonly with anxiety and depression. In fact, the way you're thinking about these girls at school is something that's pretty common in depression. It might be beneficial to see a psychologist or other therapist to work through the depression and body issues together. (I'm studying to be a psychologist, so this is kind of my passion, and of course I 'push' the talking cure over medication.)

Han, fyi risperdal is used to treat a disorder with a proven biological basis. It's something for which we've been taught to immediately refer to a psychiatrist for evaluation b/c talk therapy _alone_ is truly not effective in most cases. I understand being against psychotropic medications and I think that they are greatly overused, but there are times when they are indicated and not to prescribe them would be not effectively caring for a client/patient. Like I said above, I push talk therapy before medication; therapists and psychologists are trained on when to refer for medication so there's no harm in trying that alone first. But sometimes meds are needed.

Ok, I'm climbing down off my soapbox now. :soap: I'm sorry I got off on a tangent! The main thing is, Mandy, that you are a worthwhile human being who deserves love and respect, regardless of your age, size, weight, etc. **HUG**


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## Aprill (Jan 29, 2007)

Mandy....Dony let weight worry you. I have had three children, taken anti-depressants that made me gain weight, when I got married, my husband preferred that I stay at home, which made me the stereotypical soap opera watching, bon-bon- eating lazy housewife. so, over 6 years I have gained 150 pounds and never looked back. I am struggling to lose a little for my health. But in this battle, I will never call myself ugly, disgusting, ect. I wear a size 22, I am 23, I am beautiful. You are beautiful. You are a goddess girl! Dont let anyone tell you otherwise...including yourself.

:fight: battling with yourself is and will always be the worst battle of your life.


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## Kookie-for-COCO (Feb 2, 2007)

I have had weight issues all my life. I went on the BC pill and gained 20 pounds in a month. Later in life I was put on Paxil and packed on the pounds. Try walking and defineately tell you physician. He may be able to give you another type of anti-depressent. It happens to all of us honey.:ill:


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## Nox (Feb 2, 2007)

I think some individuals are extremely sensitive to these medications through no fault of their own. However, a good physician would watch for signs of abnormal or excessive bodily responses to any and all medication. For the user, I would imagine that the weight would come on rather quickly, and I have even heard of the weight piling on after they've stopped taking medication (systemic effect of the medicine I think???)

Well, you certainly have our support here. And I will say that it is far easier to beat yourself up over it, but it is far healthier for your well-being to have some self-love. There are ladies here much larger than you, and they are beautiful women, the kind of people you would really love to be around. They may not be happy with their current weight, but with time they developed self-acceptance, and learned to develop their inner and outer beauty.


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## StrangerNMist (Feb 6, 2007)

I know how you feel, Mandy, because I'm in the same boat with you. I've had weight issues for quite a while as well, and I can relate to how you feel. It's been a real up and down battle, and it's tough - especially when you don't feel good about yourself.

Just take things one day at a time, and try to be healthy. (You can also try taking a multivitamin in the morning, that usually makes me feel good and gives me energy. Take with food though.) Get out and do something you like, and enjoy the sunshine. Seriously, you'll be feeling better in no time and in no time the weight will come off.

Like your avatar says, beauty comes in all shapes and sizes, not just one.

*Bear Hugz*

Love, Stranger.


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## Lain_knights (Feb 6, 2007)

As far as I'm concerned, I didn't put on weight because of meds but only because I felt insecure (related to pedophil cousin, sorry if I don't spare you girls :/).

I eat most of the time. Every single thing that is near my mouth is eaten. It is like chewing permanently protect me from the outside... (I may sound stupid but I don't know how to explain better).

Obvisouly, every diet I tried failed because the problem is in my head.

But maybe I've find a solution : hypnosis with psychotherapy. I speak about hypnosis made by a pratician, a real doctor. I'll give a try this thursday. I think it could help you by stimulating something in your mind to "control" you appetite even under meds or... I don't know.


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## MandyPandy (Feb 13, 2007)

Thanks so much for being so kind, girls. It kind of makes me see that not everybody is going to be an ******* about it. I am joining the gym again next month, and I'm going to talk to my doctor about switching meds. I also talked to the teacher and she was so kind! Thanks! xoxo


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## StrangerNMist (Feb 13, 2007)

Hope you get to feeling better, and let us know how it goes! *Bear Hugz*


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## Rubiez (Feb 15, 2007)

perhaps start drinking green tea. it's by no means a shortcut to losing weight or anything...but drinking it will help boost up your metabolism and help you to reduce your appetite.

it won't 'work' automatically but drinking it will help your health in the long run too.


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## magosienne (Feb 15, 2007)

yes. green tea helps. try also to eat vegetables and fruits, they're the solution if you want to loose weight. ok, so now i have to do it, because i have to loose weight too.:doh:

what also helps if you really want to eat something is eat a milkshake. seriously. it's thicker than just a glass of water, so it fills your stomach, and it's healthier than rushing in the cupboard and take the first box of cookies you see. the number of times i did that.

i started eating because i was a newbie at school, coming from a place the little teenagers from Paris didn't know about (most of them always lived there so they think the rest of France is almost another country). the more they were laughing at me and my cute dolly pink coat, the more i ate, and the more they kept torturing me. don't try to hide yourself. on the contrary, be just who you are. **** them if they don't like it, but you're a human being, and you deserve respect.


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## TheCure911 (Feb 19, 2007)

yea i have a eating problem as well i hope you get better! good luck


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## MandyPandy (Feb 21, 2007)

Thanks girls!


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## jessica9 (Feb 21, 2007)

I have been through it too, and i know how hard it is. i am also going to school and was going to school when i was on all the meds i was on, and i know the feeling of being 24 (i'm 26 now - still in school) and comparing yourself to beautiful, flawless 18 year old girls. i don't know if your situation is like mine in this way, but i had to take time away from school because of my mental issues. i have tried every ssri except prozac, and have tried every single drug in the class of atypical neuroleptics - EVERY SINGLE ONE! Seroquel was the last one I was on, and it didn't do a thing for me - didn't help me, and didn't make me gain weight. Zyprexa was the only drug I ever took that actually helped, but I stopped taking it because it made me gain over 40 pounds and I was afraid of tardive dyskenisia and diabetes. Also, after a while, it stopped working so well, and i was told i would have to increase the dose, and thus increase my weight and those risks i mentioned. Also, I could sleep 24 hours on those drugs! But Zyprexa was the only one that helped, and it caused the most weight gain. I have been diagnosed with Body Dysmorphia and had anorexia and bulimia in high school and the beginning of college. And I still cannot say I eat the way I should probably. The funny thing is that the Zyprexa was supposed to help me with my BDD, but it just made me feel like you do - like hiding basically. And I always thought I was better off before with my BDD.

I don't know why you are on the antipsychotics, but are you receiving any psychotherapy in addition to a psychiatrist? If you are receiving therapy from a psychiatrist, I would seriously look into seeing a phd for therapy, because they understand brain chemistry in reaction to life events, upbringing, emotions, and reactions better than psychiatrists. Therapy has changed my life, literally. Have you ever really talked about your eating disorders and why you have them and where they come from and made connections between those and your feelings? It is hard work, but I feel more sane now than I ever did on medication for 9 years. I don't know your situation or your particular reason for taking the drugs, but all i know is that these drugs are far overprescribed and people are misdiagnosed far too often. if you want to private message me you can. i was told i was psychotic, bipolar, that i would always need to be on that medication...i've been hospitalized. and talking to someone who knew what they were doing made me sane. i've had ocd since i was 8, and that is still really my only problem. my phd believes in medication, but realized it was all wrong for me. you may need it, but it would be worthwhile to talk go through therapy and talk about it and talk about your life. even if you are a person who needs medication, you may need less of it.


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## Ricci (Feb 25, 2007)

Actually it doesnt some women never gain weight

sorry no offence

I hope u find a solution mine was bike riding


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## jessica9 (Feb 25, 2007)

if you didn't gain weight then why did you need a solution like bike riding? were you trying to combat weight gain unless you might have had it? sorry...not trying to be rude...just trying to understand what you mean. some drugs definately do not make some people gain weight, but for the ones that do, it is incredibly (should be in all caps) difficult, nearing on impossible to lose weight. i would go to the gym everyday and eat healthy and still would barely lose a pound. i did everything I was supposed to do, eating healthy, etc. It is like you just have a amazingly-slow metabolism. I must say that drinking green tea does help though. i would drink like 6 or 7 cups a day when i was living in nyc, not to lose weight, but just cos i was on a green tea kick, and i lost more weight then than i was every able to do on medication before. also...drugs like atypical neuroleptics are in a whole other ballfield as far as weight is concerned. the potential for weight gain is much higher because it works on dopamine receptors, which have been scientifically linked with appetite and obesity. i am 5'9 and 130 pounds now (always have been tall and thin) and on drugs got over 170. I don't exercise or diet to maintain my weight, yet while on medication i constantly had to, so it just goes to show how certain drugs can really drastically change your body.


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## pinksugar (Feb 25, 2007)

tell me about it, I'm on the pill, and I just can't shift that 5-10 kilos I put on when I first started on it, 6 years ago. Guess who's popping down to the shop for some green tea though?  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />


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## jessica9 (Feb 25, 2007)

it really does help the green tea! definately get some! i just got some dong quai tea yesterday, and dong quai helps rebalance female hormones naturally and does not interact with the pill. it also helps with alertness. my friend was taking the pill for her skin and stopped because she gained a lot of weight on it. now she has lost all she gained. i take it for birth control and it doesn't make me gain weight. it all has to do with hormones. you probably have more estrogen than i do, and so does my friend (she's got DD's and i'm only a B cup, so I'm just guessing). I know that the medication I took that made me gain a lot of weight - Zyprexa - warns that it can cause men to grow breasts, so it probably has an estrogenic effect on hormones as well. Gosh...we are complaining about weight gain from pills, but could you imagine being a man and having to take a medication that makes you grow breasts! :scared:


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## Ricci (Feb 25, 2007)

What I meant that some women nvere gain weight ,, I lost 20 lbs not intentionally,I rode my bike a lot and noticed how much inches i was loosing


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## CuTeLiCiOuS (Feb 27, 2007)

First of all, You are Beautiful:handkuss: . I am sad to see you feel this way, I think you are Beautiful. Set up an appointment and ask a doctor to help you fix your medicine or switch it. Get a physical exame to make sure your bp and everything is well.

Then number two, do not miss any of your classes. You cannot compare yourself to an 18 year old. When you get out of high school you are all over the place, college is a party place. The psyche of an 18 and 24 year old is very different. Your last 10% of the brain grows from 18 to 25, the rest 90% happeans first 6 -7 years of life. So somebody who is 20 is way different from somebody 22 or 23. So do not compare yourself.

Keep your eye on the goal, education. It does not matter how you look, but what you become. Having an education and a career is important. Dedicate yourself and forgot what others thing. Get your strenght from God.

You know if you want to get in shape go to school and start exercising atleast 30 minutes a day. Do not eat over 2,000 calories. And ask you doctor to help you find another medicne and keep a blog or sheet paper (Very Imperative) and track your food in take any how you feel. Within a couple of months that weight will be off. And Believe me couple of months will go by so fast.

The reason I tell you to track your intake and write how you feel about yourself is it will keep you up. It is true- if you have a dream man- write everything you want in him on a paper -keep on subracting it and adding to the list you will soon find him.It is true. So keep track of ir and KEEP YOUR HEAD UP HIGH.

You are God's Child. I am God's Child, everyone is. We all fall off the wagon once in a while and it is okay. It does not matter how you fell, it is what you do after that will count. Hardship is just for a little while, giving up will give permnant results. Get up!

Start attacking it now.


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## XkrissyX (Feb 28, 2007)

you shouldnt feel disgusted because of your health issue...im sure everyone are goin through same thing when it comes to weight issues...dont be embarass you should start exercising..youll feel much better after because you did something good for yourself.good luck.


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## angellove (Mar 1, 2007)

i have weight problems too... and really bad enzema. whenever i go to school i feel like such a monster. doesnt help that i have really bad itchy flaky red patches on random patches of my body , it`s really bad on the back of my knees... and where enzema touches, there is also skin discoloration. my school uniform consist of a blouse and skirt, i cannot help but feel self consious whenever i walk.

my self consciousness lead me to have no friends. NONE at all. besides, people are just too comfortable in their ''groups'' to accept someone else in. i`ve suffered like this for over 6 yrs..

till now, even though the current situation didn`t change, my attitude change, i know my family loves me and if they want friends that are beautiful and stuff, ther ain`t worth it at all. ( they wont be good friends anyway). i know im beautiful so are you


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## ChristineLE24 (Mar 1, 2007)

I agree with Cutelicious, a food diary is very important. Sometimes you think you are doing the right thing when actually you are not. Keeping a food diary (and writing down EVERYTHING you put into your mouth) lets you know what you may be doing wrong.

And keeping active is very important. At least 30-45 minutes of cardio at least 5 x's a week to lose weight and then when you lose the weight definitly add in a weight training regimine. It will really help you keep the weight off at that point.

I hope this helps you a bit.


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## MandyPandy (Mar 4, 2007)

Thanks everyone for being so kind.


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## `ColourMePretty (Mar 5, 2007)

Hey  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

I've already mentioned in another thread on here about how I a huge weight gain when I had depression a couple of years back - I gained 6 stone and went from size 12 to size 20 in about a year. I was given a nutrionist at my local hospital, she was lovely and really understanding.

The first couple of sessions she weighed me and made me write a diary of my typical food intake for around 2weeks. After that she made me a list of foods I would like, the size portions i should have, and meals that would fit around my school day etc. I did this for a few months and it really helped. I lost around 3 stone and went down to a size 16. My weight and size is steady 2 years on.

Like some of the other girls have said, making a food diary is a good idea - it works for me as it lets me see just how much I've ate, and where I've 'slipped' or had a bad day.


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