# Do best friends really make the best lovers?



## ~*LiL_MiSs_NeY* (Dec 30, 2006)

hey girls (and guys) kind of need a bit of advice. My best friend who i've known ever since i was about 2 last night took me out for dinner etc (nothing unusual) and admitted to me that he's been in love with me for years just never had the guts to tell me because i've always been in a relationship and he didn't want to get in the way. he understands that i need time to think things through and has left me alone to get my head sorted out but i just dont know what to think... I'm just scared that if i give him that chance and things on a bad note i'll loose my best mate of nearly 21 years and i just dont know if its a risk im willing to take. because sometimes love has to be sacrificed in order to save a friendship but i also know that whenever im with him iv never felt that way before. Any advice would be realy helpful as my mates are biased

thanks again  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />


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## Aquilah (Dec 30, 2006)

Wow! That's a really tough call! I mean, if the feeling is mutual, then it might be worth a shot. Then again, you're so very right about the possibility of it ruining the friendship! I think if you two decide to go that route, it would be 100% in your best interest to talk about it before anything else. See if you can't "ensure" you're still going to be great friends if more than friends doesn't work out. I mean, that's a REALLY tough choice to make! Either you truly will make an awesome couple and last forever, or you won't and risk losing what you currently have. I think either way, in some small sense, him admitting his love for you might slightly change things already. I dunno though. I wish you the best of luck with this!


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## pinkbundles (Dec 30, 2006)

I say NO! NO! and did I mention NO?!

It's better to meet someone, fall in love and then become their best friend. Just from my experience and my most humble opinion.


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## Dragonfly (Dec 30, 2006)

If I were you, I would absolutely not rush into anything. Maybe get together with him again and tell him how you feel and that you have some confusion about how to proceed. Make sure he understands that you have not made any decisions so that he doesn't put anymore pressure on you.

On a side note, women are reluctant to "ruin" a friendship, whereas men will risk

"ruining" a friendship, if they really like a woman - you probably know this.


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## empericalbeauty (Dec 30, 2006)

depends...how do you feel about him? and please, do be honest with yourself because in the end, you will be the one to deal with the consequences of your decision.


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## YoursEvermore (Dec 30, 2006)

The advice I can give is to go with your own intuition. I have two stories to back up my point.  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

1) My sister and brother-in-law were friends since they were 15 years old. He has always been in love with her. Finally, when she turned 21, something sparked and she started to look at him differently. Things clicked and now they're having their fourth wedding anniversary on January 6th. :laughing:

2) My fiance and I have been friends for ten years. He was always the "older brother" sort, whom I could tell my deepest darkest secrets to and he always had a solution, or was at least a calming presence in my life. We flirted continuously throughout our friendship, but it got really intense and I eventually flew to North Carolina to see him (he was in the Marines). I loved him before, but now I realized I was IN love with him -- know what I mean? That weekend I was 110% sure that he was the man I was going to marry. As a point of fact, we're getting married next September. We still talk about how if we were given the opportunity, we would have eloped that weekend. That was almost three years ago. :inlove:

So, stories and rambling aside, go with your own feelings. Maybe one day you'll look at him and see something different. Or, you could just keep seeing your best friend. Only time can really tell.

HTH!


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## SimplyElegant (Dec 30, 2006)

I think it can be a great idea. Just talk about what would happen if things didn't work out.


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## ~*LiL_MiSs_NeY* (Dec 30, 2006)

thanks for all the advice it's helped a lot and has made so much sense it was good to get both perspectives (where as my mates are biased) so thanks heaps again. im going to see him tonight to talk it through so hopefully it goes well as i do really like him and i can feel that something is there i just dont want to rush into it.

Thanks again for the advice  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />


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## MissMissy (Dec 30, 2006)

hope im not to late in posting this. But I say give it shot. I see how you dont want to give up friendship, but then again, you could be giving up your soulmate, You'll be looking everywhere getting your heart broke when, it is right beside you. If you are afraid of loosing him, go into it slowly,, it will feel better for the both of you if you go slow.Also if you have been friends for so long i have a feeling even if things dont turned out as planed, you'll make up and be best budds. Something my mom used to tell me is, the one you will be with for ever is the guy that became your bestfriend. Guess what i became close pals with the guy im with now. together 4 years and getting married. Then again that maynot be the case,being best friends and become lovers. But i would say deffently give it a shot, you may experience something with this budd of yours that you never have with other guys. good luck


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## bebs (Jan 9, 2007)

I knew my bestfriend sence I was 5 or 6 years old and was one of the younger kids that tailed after him and his friends for years, we became really close, and when I was 17, I finally admited to my self I had fallen for him hard .. I told him about 4 months after that and he admited feeling the same and we are married now almost 3 years.

it really just has to be what you want in the end. it can be really weird because you know all your bestfriends past (ex. girlfriends, past sexual things with other people) but also this is the person you already know and trust that should already know you probably as well as you know your self or better in some cases. so its not a bad thing and you know your getting the truth.


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## krazykid90 (Jan 9, 2007)

My current boyfriend was my best friend for about six years before we started dating. It's the best relationship so far, for severel reasons...

*There are no secrets. He knows all about me, and I know all about me. In the past I've had boyfriends do stupid things (such as lying how many girls they've been with, how much money they have etc.) that ended up causing the relationship to fall apart. With my current man we've already shared our secrets so we aren't afraid of being open with each other.

*We are comfortable talking together. We've already been talking to each other about our relationships, work, school etc. before we started dating, and things haven't changed. We know that we won't be judged by what we express.

*We like spending time together. In the past my boyfriend would get frusterated with his girlfriends. He liked his own space to hang out with his friends. In the past I had problems with my boyfriends because I wasn't able to spend time with him, he'd ditch me for his friends. With the two of us, we have mutual friends, mutual ideas of fun etc. We are happy going out for dinner and a movie alone, or calling up the guys and having a few beers with them instead. There's none of that silly "I don't like your friends" that goes on with some people. I do have a few girlfriends that he doesn't like, but he doesn't act rude to them. Same goes for a few of his friends with me, but for the most we have the same friends.

*We know what each other is like. I know that he's a nerd who works with computers for a living, and for fun. He knows I'm a geek who has a strange obsession with making custom content for The Sims 2, playing first person shooter video games. He also knows that if you want to please me, don't buy me flowers, buy me some DC comics


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