# Shattered Heart



## Jordan0326 (Aug 30, 2008)

*Hey everyone. Came here to vent because I have no where else to turn. Just got out of a 7 year relationship. I moved out of our apartment. Been living back with my parents for about 2 months now. My ex and I still hang out on the weekends and do things together because we share a dog. We still have feelings for eachother so the plan was to give it time and see if it works out. We arent seeing other people or anything. Thing is we get along one day and fight the next. It's constant back and forth through text messages &amp; phone calls. I'm just confused and I dont understand it. All during the week we spend hours everyday on the phone together. He gets mad that I haven't moved back in yet and will just start random fights with me. He's getting meaner and meaner with the things he is starting to say. I'm not in a good state of mind right now. I'm extremely depressed and feeling very bad about myself and he knows this. So when we are arguing he says horrible things about my looks,I'm a loser with nothing going for me, that I have bad breath..... things like that. It's just really hurtful and I don't understand how he can go from I love you I wanna get married to that. I know that I can find someone else and I'll eventually get over him. It's just so painful when everyday of the last 7 years was spent with someone and all the sudden they are gone from your life. It's even harder when they continue to contact you. *

*Its amazing to me how someone who is your best friend &amp; lover for so long can say things to you that are so mean and hurtful. *

I am alot better looking than he is and I have a nice face and a nice body not to be conseeded but im being honest. He is an average looking guy! All the things he has said to me in text today I still didnt say anything about him or his looks that would hurt him back. I cant do that to someone that I care about. Why is it so easy for people to do it to me?

*Now tonight my friends want me to go out with them to the bar. I dont know why but I feel guilty when I go out without him. I don't really have fun without him when I go out. I know its time for me to move on I just dont know how. *


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## Lucy (Aug 30, 2008)

ohh honey it really sounds like this guy has changed and not for the better! if he's gone from saying he loves you to making petty insults about your looks and being such an idiot then he is obviously not the same man you fell in love with- he is abusive and not worth your time.

it sounds to me like you're ready to move on and its good that you can see that he's being such a jerk, don't take on board the things he says. he's probably _not_ ready to move on and jealous that you are, and is expressing that in a weird way. if you were together for 7 years, then thats a long time and will have some big emotional impact.

i wouldn't think twice about giving him another chance, he's really not the person you thought he was if he is behaving in such an abusive and detrimental way. don't feel guilty for one second about going out with people who actually care about you and having a good time with them! this man is a bully who has hurt you, you don't owe him anything! get out there and have fun


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## Jordan0326 (Aug 30, 2008)

he texts me and says Sorry and that he says those things because hes lonely all the time since i moved out and hates being him...... He's doing a hell of a job trying to get me to come back huh?


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## Ricci (Aug 30, 2008)

The relationships seems too toxic to even consider a "get back together"

so sorry hes a jerk to u


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## Adrienne (Aug 30, 2008)

To be honest I'm sure he's hurting just the way you and this is his way of lashing out and trying to prevent you from having the self esteem to go out with someone else. I say is your gonna separate and see how things so really separate. Don't keep in contact with as it'll just mess with your head as its already doing. To really find out where your relationship stands it sounds like you guys need some alone time and some space.


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## Annia (Aug 31, 2008)

I agree with everyone above.

Go out and do something without him, don't feel guilty about it, because he wants you to feel guilty about doing things without him...


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## Jordan0326 (Aug 31, 2008)

went out.... with my friends and danced and all with other guys... im home now and I just really miss him. He didnt call me at all... I guess he went out too.... I just really miss him. Honestly do not want anyone else.


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## magneticheart (Aug 31, 2008)

I agree with what's been said by everyone else. It's hard to admit that a relationship has gone bad but when you do and severe ties with him then you'll feel much better.

He has no right to say these hurtful things to you. Just because you love him that doesn't mean he can say what he likes to you and if he loved you he'd realise that.

I hope things work out alright for you.


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## Jordan0326 (Aug 31, 2008)

Yeah I know you are all right. It's just hard. Especially when I have feelings toward him like this. I was hoping today maybe we could see eachother. Unfortunatly there are issues with our families. My family has completely cut him off and want nothing to do with him. Therefore as of now he isnt invited over to any family functions. I really did nothing for his family to dislike me. Well today we were supposed to see eachother and he said he's going to his neices birthday party. I take it that I wasn't invited. I don't understand that. I was hoping that if things did work out we could have at least one family that accepts us together and we can spend holidays together at someones house. Now I feel like his family isn't inviting me to things either. He told me his family had nothing against me. I just don't get it. Even if we got back together we'd be seperated on holidays &amp; all. Its not right. Especially since other people around us arent exactly the perfect couple and had it out way worse than we did. Really its just hurtful.

I'm really disapointed and I hope that he doesnt stay with his family the entire night and then our weekend together is completely ruined. Its so hard to deal with not knowing if your relationship is over.... just the whole situation is messed up and stressful


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## internetchick (Aug 31, 2008)

I have no words of wisdom, just (((hugs)))


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## Killah Kitty (Sep 1, 2008)

I thought you said it was over? You moved out and all. Don't second guess it? It is the hardest thing you will ever feel you've done... but I think you HAVE TO stop seeing him and talking to him. At least for a week. Forget about family stuff. The relationship has gone bad and you shouldn't be taking his insults or letting him mess with your head.

I think when you hit rock bottom you can only stay there and despair for so long. Then you don't want to be there anymore. Im just speaking from my own experiences. All you can try and do is look on the bright side. Dont go out looking for/at other guys if you don't feel like it. Get together with friends. Go shopping. Go out for dinner. Go do something he hated to do. Go get your nails done if you like that. Just think about yourself. Everything new you can do. At least for a week.

After that week you can give him a call and have a talk with him. If you both miss each other and want to see each other in person, have a heart to heart conversation about if the relationship is ever going to work, if it will change, if he will stop insulting you. I know its hard but if theres no hope... why keep it going and mess with your head? If you two aren't together, what if he starts seeing another girl while your still keeping in touch with him? You would feel even MORE hurt then.

He might not be the one. Remember everything happens for a reason.

I dont what to say, and **HUGS** from me too. I hope I helped any. You guys should really take some REAL time apart though.


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## pinksugar (Sep 1, 2008)

from his behaviour, I would cut my losses and move on.. There are only so many times that he can use the excuse that he's hurt to lash out and verbally abuse you, and then think it's ok if he appologises. It gets to the point where he needs to stop doing things that require an appology!

Secondly, I think you do need make a decision as to whether you're going to get back together with him or not and follow through. I personally feel that his behaviour is disgraceful and I would have had enough, and I'm sure that your family have some reasons for cutting him off.

It really is hard to let go, but when its not working, it's just not working, and hard as it is, sometimes it's best to just move on, and stop all contact.

Best of luck hun, keep us updated and if you need to talk, you know where here!


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