# Would you be upset if your s/o didnt want to sleep with you?



## MindySue (Sep 27, 2007)

Literally.

I spent the last 5 years of my life crying because I couldnt be with my boyfriend. At night time would be the time I was the saddest over it. I would often cry myself to sleep over it, I HATED sleeping alone..

Now that my boyfriend and I live near eachother and im over there almost every day, sleeping over quite often..we get that chance. The first week or so I slept there every day..and I LOVED waking up in the middle of the night seeing him next to me. It was very comforting and I have been looking forward to that for years. The past week or two though, he has said that I hog the bed/blankets..and he always goes on the couch now. Even when we went to his parents last weekend and they were out of town, he said it was too hot in his room and went in the basement to sleep. I was alone again




I know these are the real reasons but it makes me sad that he doesnt care about sleeping with me? On the internet (and yes I've realized on the internet it's way different than what really happens) we always talked about how we couldnt wait to sleep in the same bed. Now he could care less.

He knows it upsets me and last night he was going to take me home (he doesnt even want me there at all at night it seems) but I was sad so he said I could stay..I was sad about not sleeping with him in weeks..so I figured he would sleep with me right? No..he went on the couch (it's a pull out bed) which defeated the whole purpose of me staying anyway..I was really sad and cried myself to sleep.

I know it all seems so trivial but it just makes me sad..I am a sensitive person to a lot of things and I had my heart set on getting to sleep with the man i've loved for years instead of by myself. Every time I sleep alone now it reminds me of those feelings I felt before we could be together and I feel that same lonliness even though he is in the other room.

He knows how I feel, yet let me go to bed alone anyway..I guess I hog it THAT much. :/

How would you feel in this situation, am I the only one who gives a crap if they get to sleep with their s/o??

sorry so long!


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## littletingoddes (Sep 27, 2007)

I would be upset too. When I met my now husband and we started sleeping at each other's places, he said I was a blanket hog. Well, we you go for 20 years having a bed to yourself, of course you're used to pulling the blankets on you and not having to worry if you're taking them from someone else. One solution we tried was we each had our own blankets. It probably looked silly, but we both were warm and covered, and not having to worry about whether we were taking the blankets from each other.

I'm concerned, though, that although you've told him how sad this makes you, he's still not staying with you at night. Maybe he has other issues going on and hasn't opened up about them yet?


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## Bexy (Sep 27, 2007)

How it the relationship otherwise? Has he been acting odd since you came to town other than the sleeping situtation? Some people just like to sleep alone. I love to sleep next to my dh even though he steals all the covers and has his feet or legs all over me in the middle of the night. I cried myself to sleep every night when I was in the hospital. It was so hard to be away from him and the kids especially at night. So I know how you feel.

I would say as long as the relationship is still good then I would be ok with it. But it would still suck.

Originally Posted by *velvet_tears* /img/forum/go_quote.gif I would be upset too. When I met my now husband and we started sleeping at each other's places, he said I was a blanket hog. Well, we you go for 20 years having a bed to yourself, of course you're used to pulling the blankets on you and not having to worry if you're taking them from someone else. One solution we tried was we each had our own blankets. It probably looked silly, but we both were warm and covered, and not having to worry about whether we were taking the blankets from each other.
I'm concerned, though, that although you've told him how sad this makes you, he's still not staying with you at night. Maybe he has other issues going on and hasn't opened up about them yet?

Same here, we use an extra large blanket or two sets of them if need be, but we always sleep in the same bed.


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## MindySue (Sep 27, 2007)

I figured people would think there was something wrong, i'd think there was too if I read that..and didnt know better. He is still in love with me more than ever, he gets upset that it makes me upset but I guess he just really doesnt want to sleep with me? I told him i'd get my own blanket.. He definately doesnt act distant and I could tell if he was having an issue other than that. But nope, just this.

The thing you said Bexy "I love to sleep with my dh even though he steals all the covers" Makes me so sad..because I know I would still love to sleep with my bf even if he was a hog.. It makes me so sad because I wish he felt this way too.


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## emily_3383 (Sep 27, 2007)

Maybe hes overwhelmed. It seems like you were with him 24/7 and maybe he needs some space? Idk thats how i feel.


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## MindySue (Sep 27, 2007)

Maybe..it was always him who was too clingy though. I don't invite myself over anymore either, I wait for him to ask me..and if it doesnt happen then it doesnt happen. He is not the type to be overwhelmed with me I don't think.


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## Lia (Sep 27, 2007)

One thing is to stay near your s/o, say that you want to sleep with that person and yadda yadda. Another is to actually sleep with that person.

Like that - i like taking naps side by side with bf, but i'm unsure if i'd like to sleep a whole night with him - he snores (i know because we slept on the same bedroom when we were travelling and then he was on the bed next to me and snored all night - everytime i woke up i had to move his face around so he'd stop)

Ask him if you snore - that may be the issue


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## Ricci (Sep 27, 2007)

Id be leary ,are you still having sex? does he treat u the same (loving ect)

Could he be into men? I only ask these cuz I never heard of a man who refuses sex not in my relationships

Im so sad for you I wish I could help more


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## MindySue (Sep 27, 2007)

Lol im not talking about sex





We havent even had real sex yet


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## Ricci (Sep 27, 2007)

ohh man well if the problems are happening before sex then I dunno a bad signal?

Originally Posted by *MindySue* /img/forum/go_quote.gif Lol im not talking about sex




We havent even had real sex yet


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## MindySue (Sep 27, 2007)

Im talking about actual sleeping

not that big of an issue to be a bad signal but im sad none the less


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## Ricci (Sep 27, 2007)

its not a big issue? how much does he not sleep with you?

Originally Posted by *MindySue* /img/forum/go_quote.gif Im talking about actual sleeping
not that big of an issue to be a bad signal but im sad none the less


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## MindySue (Sep 27, 2007)

Yeah it says it all in the first post, we slept in the same bed for 2 weeks an then the next 2 weeks he didnt want to because i was a bed hog.


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## Ricci (Sep 27, 2007)

OkIll be frank IMHO I think its a big issue when a guy doesnt not want to sleep with you cuz your a blanket hog.. thye may be a deeper issue laying somewhere .. but thats inho

try offering 2 blankets (one each)and sleepin same bed then see what he has to say about that


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## emily_3383 (Sep 27, 2007)

I agree with Ricci i think there is more to this. I think you guys should really talk about it, i think its a little strange that he doesnt want you sleeping next to him for 2 weeks straight. Maybe someone can it explain better than me. lol


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## MindySue (Sep 27, 2007)

Yeah I can understand why people think it's a bigger issue..but it really isnt. My bf is very attentive to me and hasnt been acting strange at all..he apologizes for it and cuddles with me right until we go to bed..it's just something he doesnt like I guess

I know there is 100% no way that it's a bigger issue than this, to hopefully hault further posts that something else is going on.


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## Aprill (Sep 27, 2007)

I really dont think there's a bigger picture to this.....umm....he's a man plain and simple (no offense to men) and umm.... he's a man, lol. You get married, the bed issues will get worse, lol or even if you guys start living together after a while, it will get worse. All things have good days and bad days.....I wont get into me and my husband sleeping together, it aint always sunshine, lol


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## KellyB (Sep 27, 2007)

I hate sleeping with someone. Cant stand it. Maybe he really does just want to sleep alone. The man that I see now understands that about me and he has decided that he is ok with that and I totally and truly adore him. I know it must be sad when you are the one who wants to be in the bed with him but as a person who likes to sleep alone, that may be all it is. If you are truly sure that the relationship is fine otherwise, try to take it for what it is and decide if that is going to be ok with you.


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## empericalbeauty (Sep 27, 2007)

Call him out. Randomly too. Be in the middle of a conversation and just switch it up. thats what I do to Chris. He doesnt expect it so he blurts out the reason behind him being strange. Or just talk to him about it. I agree with whoever said that there is an underlying reason behind it. No one will say because you hog the blanket they wont sleep with you anymore. Maybe you fart in your sleep (Lol..sorry, just kidding) and he doesn't know how to deal with it. But seriously. I would advise you to talk to him about it and let him know it hurts your feelings. I am a blanket Hog and shit like that has never gone down. But people are different.

Oh oh..Lol..Just to lighten the mood let me tell you a story. So I walk out of the shower (in Chris's place) and I hear him talking to his friends. about like 3 or 5 of them. He hears me coming and gets a smirk on his face. He is about to do it. He announces to them "Oh..Grace farts in her sleep". I dont! I really dont! but because I said something about him teasingly to them..He got me back.

Hope that made you smile or laugh.


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## Andi (Sep 27, 2007)

Aw sorry to hear that, Mindy. IÂ´d be very upset too!!! Of course the first thought would be that thereÂ´s an underlying problem. But none of us know your bf or the relationship you guys have, so if you say thereÂ´s nothing more to it than I believe you 100%

Personally I LOVE to cuddle before I go to sleep, but when IÂ´m really READY to fall asleep I always move away from my fiancÃ©, to my side of the bed. I just canÂ´t stand not being able to move freely cause I move around in my sleep a lot.

ThatÂ´s why it took like 1 or 2 months for me to get used to having him in my bed almost every night or every other night when he was still in Vienna. At first I hated sharing, but then I got used to it and now I hate sleeping alone lol

People have weird sleeping habits, maybe your bf is like me and has to get used to this first. HeÂ´ll have to force himself to sleep in bed with you until he gets used to it.


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## SimplyElegant (Sep 27, 2007)

Maybe he's losing out on some sleep and that's making him irritable and maybe that's why he doesn't want to share the bed? I personally don't like sharing a bed with anyone but I could deal with it over time.


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## Saje (Sep 27, 2007)

I got the perfect solution!

Get a bigger bed and individual blankets (or 2 bigger blankets which is what I like)!

Easy! (unless you do snore  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />)

I know what you mean... I love sleeping (not the sex sleeping) with my bf ... but he has this thing where he likes a part of me on him (like he will literally wake up in the middle of the night and see me not on him, grab my leg or arm and put it over him) - cute? Maybe but im tiny compared to him (5'2 vs 6'2) so when he is on his side and my leg is over him, it gets quite uncomfortable. Besides, my comfortable position is straddling pillows in a fetal position while I am sleeping. AND, he only wants a limb on him, anything else is too hot. Which side of the bed matters to me too because I only like to lie on a certain side, etc etc.

So yeah... the bed, being such a sacred personal space, you all need to work out how your sleeping style meshes with each other and what not and again... get a bigger bed and bigger blankets - OH and more pillows!


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## makeupfreak72 (Sep 27, 2007)

my husband and i had the same problem, but when i had my last son who will be 3 next week he used to sleep with us in our bed, and my 3 year old is a crazy sleeper so my husband started sleeping on the floor next to us, then my husband strated snoring and i would coplain, so he started sleeping on the couch, and that went on for about 2 1/2 years because just recently my 2 year old started sleeping with his brother in his own room, and NOW my husband and i sleep together, but i guess it was just the situation cause we have a great marriage and normal sex life non the less. but i would look into your overall relationship, cause if you were to get married i would find you guys sleeping separatley a HUGE problem.


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## StereoXGirl (Sep 27, 2007)

Aww...I'm so sorry, Mindy! I'd be upset, too!


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## Ricci (Sep 27, 2007)

I have a suggestion make sure u have 2 blankets (one each ) and if he still dont want to sleep in same bed then u got some thinking to do


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## sweetnsexy6953 (Sep 27, 2007)

When me n my bf started living together I would take the blanket all the time and he would wake up in the middle of the night cold. We took care of the problem and we each have our own blanket. Its better now. He's tried to take my blanket a couple times tho. Just give it some time. Dont put to much thought into it.


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## marshall1704 (Sep 27, 2007)

I myself loved sleeping in the same bed with my husband when we were dating. Now that we have been married for 2 1/2 years it's rough. We also have a 3 year old that sleeps with us so 3 in a bed is hard. I rather sleep by myself to be honest. I don't think you really have an issue here. I like my space and I have always been a bed hog but my husband is worse.


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## Dragonfly (Sep 27, 2007)

You might not like this post but so be warned:

If the two of you have not had intercource, he may be really really horny.

Maybe your lying beside him is driving him crazy.

Until you are prepared to have a physical relationship with him that includes intercource, he may prefer that the two of you not sleep together at all.

You need to have a serious talk with him - encourage him to be completely honest with you so you can understand why he is behaving the way he is.

Good luck honey


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## Andi (Sep 27, 2007)

Originally Posted by *Carolyn* /img/forum/go_quote.gif You might not like this post but so be warned:If the two of you have not had intercource, he may be really really horny.

Maybe your lying beside him is driving him crazy.

Until you are prepared to have a physical relationship with him that includes intercource, he may prefer that the two of you not sleep together at all.

You need to have a serious talk with him - encourage him to be completely honest with you so you can understand why he is behaving the way he is.

Good luck honey

Oh I forgot about that. He might just bee too horny to sleep next to you but maybe doesnÂ´t wanna push things, you know?


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## Aquilah (Sep 27, 2007)

Okay, I'm going to post my 2Â¢ here. I'm not sure how you'll take it, but this is just how I see it. I'm not sure of the specifics of your entire relationships (i.e. how many times you saw each other while dating LD), so this is me coming with what I've learned on the posts I've read, and I'm sure I haven't read them all.

1) It could be as Carolyn said and he's really horny but you're not having sex. If you're not having sex, is it because you want to wait, he wants to wait, or you just haven't? If it's because either of you want to wait, then maybe Carolyn's right in you two not sleeping together as many nights a week as you have been. It'll mean a lot less cold showers for you both.

2) You've been in Canada for about a month or so now, and you say you've spent almost every day together, and you've been sleeping over almost every night. Does it seem like he's waiting on you to fall asleep before he gets out of the bed? Is he trying to have space in other ways outside of sleeping? If so, it could be he does want some space and hasn't figured out how to tell you. If he doesn't seem as affectionate, then maybe he needs more space outside of you staying the night.

3) It could very well be you're hogging the bed/blankets, or he could be hogging them and thinks it's you. I know John tells me I'm hogging the bed, yet I can count on all of my fingers and toes the number of times I've had to move him throughout the week. So, if it's an issue there, then again, maybe sleep over less throughout the week. John used to say he hated sharing the bed because he couldn't sleep all over the bed like he was used to, but he admitted to me while we spent 2 months apart (him here in NY before we moved up), that it's lonely for him when I'm NOT in the bed. So, even men don't know what they mean sometimes LOL!

I suggest talking to him and getting an open and honest answer from him. Try your best to put on the "okay, that's fine, maybe next time" attitude when he suggests you not staying over. The last thing you want is to guilt-trip him into letting you stay and it causes feelings of resentment. Cause if he possibly already wants more space, then that's definitely not going to help the matter.

Possibly, as much as you don't want to I'm sure, ask your roommates about having a "Roomie's Night," where you cook dinner, do dishes and watch a movie together. If they're for this, suggest it as two of you cook and the other two clean, and then you all watch the movie. The next weekend, you rotate. This will give you a girl's night, him a night alone, and it'll possibly help you bond with your roommates.

SO sorry this is so long! I don't know if I put my thoughts out there as I meant to, and I think I have more stored in my brain that I didn't get out here. I hope I didn't offend you or upset you, but those are things I'd think about. Like I said, I'm not too positive as to the whole relationship and how it's worked, so I'm a definite outsider looking in. I wish you the best, and hopefully I had something I said that helps


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## mrom (Sep 27, 2007)

I actually just went through premarital counseling last night with my fiance and pastor, and we went over a similar situation.I am very physically affectionate(hugs, kisses, i love you's, and nighttime cuddling), but jamie is not. We were told that there are different"love languages". i speak the physical language, while jamie speaks the service one. he shows his love by doing things for me(putting gas in my car, paying bills, helping around the house, etc...). the problem is, when you speak two different languages, it is hard to understand the way the other expresses love. We have decided to try and speak each other's languages more. I will do more "services" for him, while he tries to be more physical. last night, I finally got cuddled! You really need to communicate with your bf and let him know how much you need this time with him. I wouldn't go one more night feeling the way you do. It's not fair for you to cry yourself to sleep. if you can't come to a compromise that will satisfy you both, there may be bigger problems that you are unaware of. good luck to you and happy spooning!


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## Lia (Sep 27, 2007)

ITA with everyone - and don't forget to ask about the snoring thing , LOL


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## han (Sep 27, 2007)

Originally Posted by *Carolyn* /img/forum/go_quote.gif You might not like this post but so be warned:If the two of you have not had intercource, he may be really really horny.

Maybe your lying beside him is driving him crazy.

Until you are prepared to have a physical relationship with him that includes intercource, he may prefer that the two of you not sleep together at all.

You need to have a serious talk with him - encourage him to be completely honest with you so you can understand why he is behaving the way he is.

Good luck honey

good point! but if i remember right in previous threads she mention that they make out and do the oral thing, just not intercourse.. so imo even though they dont go all the way hes still getting some release so he shouldnt be going too crazy laying next to her, i really agree with what ricci said, i would def wonder


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## Aquilah (Sep 27, 2007)

BTW, I ran the story past John... He said we're being typical women reading too much into it LOL! He said it's simply a matter of your man not being used to sharing a bed. Nothing more than that. So, I dunno! He's normally pretty good on reading situations like this, so I can take his advice to heart.


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## Andi (Sep 27, 2007)

Originally Posted by *Aquilah* /img/forum/go_quote.gif BTW, I ran the story past John... He said we're being typical women reading too much into it LOL! I agree with that. Too bad we canÂ´t help reading too much into everything lol.


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## Aquilah (Sep 27, 2007)

Originally Posted by *Andi* /img/forum/go_quote.gif I agree with that. Too bad we canÂ´t help reading too much into everything lol. So very true! I tend to trust his opinion with things like this because I've seen him call it and watch it happen. Lord knows how someone who sits in front of a TV and PS3 when he's not at work can be so intuitive LOL!


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## MindySue (Sep 28, 2007)

Originally Posted by *Carolyn* /img/forum/go_quote.gif You might not like this post but so be warned:If the two of you have not had intercource, he may be really really horny.

Maybe your lying beside him is driving him crazy.

Until you are prepared to have a physical relationship with him that includes intercource, he may prefer that the two of you not sleep together at all.

You need to have a serious talk with him - encourage him to be completely honest with you so you can understand why he is behaving the way he is.

Good luck honey

I doubt it..he gets other forms of sex all the time..every day..and i would totally have sex with him if he wanted to, we just havent gotten to that point yet. id do him in a second..haha

Originally Posted by *mrom* /img/forum/go_quote.gif I actually just went through premarital counseling last night with my fiance and pastor, and we went over a similar situation.I am very physically affectionate(hugs, kisses, i love you's, and nighttime cuddling), but jamie is not. We were told that there are different"love languages". i speak the physical language, while jamie speaks the service one. he shows his love by doing things for me(putting gas in my car, paying bills, helping around the house, etc...). the problem is, when you speak two different languages, it is hard to understand the way the other expresses love. We have decided to try and speak each other's languages more. I will do more "services" for him, while he tries to be more physical. last night, I finally got cuddled! You really need to communicate with your bf and let him know how much you need this time with him. I wouldn't go one more night feeling the way you do. It's not fair for you to cry yourself to sleep. if you can't come to a compromise that will satisfy you both, there may be bigger problems that you are unaware of. good luck to you and happy spooning! i think we speak different languages, he is the same as your bf and im the same as you. thanks for your post!
aquilah thanks for all yours too..very helpful.

i really, really appreciate everyone being so nice and helpful, i've read and respect all your posts.

btw i dont snore haha..

Originally Posted by *Aquilah* /img/forum/go_quote.gif So very true! I tend to trust his opinion with things like this because I've seen him call it and watch it happen. Lord knows how someone who sits in front of a TV and PS3 when he's not at work can be so intuitive LOL! Aquilah your hubby is a smarty. Honestly even though you all are giving me great scenarios, I truly think that it is just that..he isnt used to it.
And I have to get used to that myself!

Originally Posted by *empericalbeauty* /img/forum/go_quote.gif Call him out. Randomly too. Be in the middle of a conversation and just switch it up. thats what I do to Chris. He doesnt expect it so he blurts out the reason behind him being strange. Or just talk to him about it. I agree with whoever said that there is an underlying reason behind it. No one will say because you hog the blanket they wont sleep with you anymore. Maybe you fart in your sleep (Lol..sorry, just kidding) and he doesn't know how to deal with it. But seriously. I would advise you to talk to him about it and let him know it hurts your feelings. I am a blanket Hog and shit like that has never gone down. But people are different.
Oh oh..Lol..Just to lighten the mood let me tell you a story. So I walk out of the shower (in Chris's place) and I hear him talking to his friends. about like 3 or 5 of them. He hears me coming and gets a smirk on his face. He is about to do it. He announces to them "Oh..Grace farts in her sleep". I dont! I really dont! but because I said something about him teasingly to them..He got me back.

Hope that made you smile or laugh.





Lol, thank you very much..you all have been so helpful..


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## Jennifer (Sep 28, 2007)

i kinda know what you're going through.

i'm in a LCD and i've had so many urges to just lay in bed with him and fall asleep more than anything else. every time we're together and spend the night together, we cuddle til it's time to fall asleep. then, we part. i turn my back and he turns his and we're on our own. howeverrrrrr, when i wake up in the middle of the night and his back is towards me, i know this sounds crazy, but i get so sad, like he doesn't care i'm there. i don't know why i think that since i'm the first one to roll away! lol

i really think it's the LCD thing. we go (or in your case, went) through a lot of things and we're easily worried and sensitive to things like this.

good luck and i hope everything works out fine in the end


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## MindySue (Sep 28, 2007)

hey jennifer thank you for your post you made me feel less crazy. i definately agree about being more sensitive..im sensitive to everything now that we are together! things on the net were so diff. im getting used to his actual behavior which is to playfully mock me all the time, but i know he does it in love, and sometimes ifeel like crying cause i wanna be like enough! cuddle me now..hahaa. on the net there wasnt much of that but more him being so super nice and complimenting me all the time.

i totally get upset waking up and not seeing him there..id prefer seeing his back than nothing though lol


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## Anna (Sep 28, 2007)

king sized bed. evil one and i love the thought of wakeing up next to each other.love to lay by each other. we NEED a king size bed because i sleep sideways and he likes to sleep ON me. maybe thats it maybe you sleep ON him and thats why...


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## pinksugar (Sep 28, 2007)

hey minds.. the bf and I are similar to your situation, he thought I was a blanket hog and apparently I would chase him across the bed in my sleep trying to hug him and he'd fall out.

You just have to find ways around it - the bf sleeps on the inside now, so he cant fall out.

I know exactly how you feel about feeling lost and alone and everything. I think it sounds very much like he's just not used to it yet, and seriously, going from talking online and on the phone is a massive change from being in each other's beds every night, so I think you just have to allow yourself to feel sad if you want to, you're not crazy or silly or anything, and he isn't thinking less about you, he's just adjusting.

Maybe try to cut down the number of nights you stay there and see if he asks you over more, or just sleep over twice or 3 times until he's more used to everything.

Best of luck chicken, I would be worried if I were you too, but I really dont think theres anything going on, just adjustment issues.


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## SqueeKee (Sep 28, 2007)

Well, Aquilah ran it by John and I ran it by Wes. I figure a man's opinion is prolly worth more than a females in this situation. According to Wes he says "She's not ugly by any means so I don't think her BF is purposely trying to get away from her" LMAO!!!





Also, me and wes did LD for a year and he was weird about sleeping together at first too because he had never slept with anyone before! But now he snuggles like crazy!



It's actually a pretty big adjustement to make, so I say give him time. Just be open about how you feel and ask him to do the same


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## Shelley (Sep 28, 2007)

Mindy,

I think everyone here has given great advice, especially Aquilah and Kee asking the men in their lives for opinions. I can understand you feeling upset, I would have felt the same way. I agree it seems like adjustment issues. I hope everything turns out the best for you! Please keep us updated.


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## MindySue (Sep 28, 2007)

Haha Kee, aww I love your hubbies response lmao guys arent as dumb as they seem





Talked to the bf. I agreed to go home without any fuss and he told me that tomarrow night we could try to sleep in the same bed if I tried to let him have atleast almost half the bed haha


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## Ricci (Sep 28, 2007)

I highly suggest bringing your own blanket trust me.. Me and my boyf sleep with separate ones when we are gonna go to sleep but share when we are feeling frisky

Originally Posted by *MindySue* /img/forum/go_quote.gif Haha Kee, aww I love your hubbies response lmao guys arent as dumb as they seem




Talked to the bf. I agreed to go home without any fuss and he told me that tomarrow night we could try to sleep in the same bed if I tried to let him have atleast almost half the bed haha


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## bella1342 (Sep 28, 2007)

I am a blanket hog... big time. My bf finally got a blanket of his own. A king sized comforter might work for you too!

Mindy, I remember...I think it was Manders.. who wrote in a post to you, that maybe you should play a little hard to get.. I agree with that. I'm not at all talking about playing games.. but maybe like Aquilah said, you should spend a night with your roomates watching movies. Something like that. OR when he asks you to come over once in a while politely decline. You'll be giving him space, but after a week or two you'll notice he wants you around even more than ever.

Enjoy your sleepover tomorrow!


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## BeneBaby (Sep 28, 2007)

Hey Minders...I know I'm a little late to post but I thought I should still give my take.

So....I live with my BF and sometimes he sleeps on the couch. I do like to sleep close to him, and I seriously get my feeling hurt when he crashes on the couch. I will try to drag his ass into bed!! I go through the same emotions you do...asking myself why? Reading into it? Analyzing the situation...

I finally asked him why? He said sometimes he feels like he has to have sex if he comes to bed. Like I pressure him by rubbing against him and stuff....hahahah. That's the first time I've been accused of pressuring the guy for sex. But I had to laugh. Here I am thinking the relationship is over and he just doesn't have stamina that night.


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## Shanelle (Sep 28, 2007)

I don't have any advice for you, but I would be really sad too. Somehow I know exactly how you feel..


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## CuTeLiCiOuS (Sep 28, 2007)

Just get a bigger bed = he pays for half and you pay for half

and get 2 blankies one for you and one for him and you guys can still hug each. You can still touch him and he can still touch you.

I totally can understand how he feels. I am the same way. I like my blankie by myself.

Talk to him about it. How he feels and how you feel.


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## Andi (Sep 28, 2007)

Originally Posted by *Jennifer* /img/forum/go_quote.gif i kinda know what you're going through.
i'm in a LCD and i've had so many urges to just lay in bed with him and fall asleep more than anything else. every time we're together and spend the night together, we cuddle til it's time to fall asleep. then, we part. i turn my back and he turns his and we're on our own. howeverrrrrr, when i wake up in the middle of the night and his back is towards me, i know this sounds crazy, but i get so sad, like he doesn't care i'm there. i don't know why i think that since i'm the first one to roll away! lol

i really think it's the LCD thing. we go (or in your case, went) through a lot of things and we're easily worried and sensitive to things like this.

good luck and i hope everything works out fine in the end





Jennifer, you totally nailed it with this post. ThatÂ´s exactly what people in long distance relationships go through!Btw, IÂ´m the same way. Shawn can fall asleep within 1min wherever, but I need longer and I need my space. So I roll away as soon as I sense heÂ´s asleep and feel lonely cause I know itÂ´ll take me like 30min to pass out


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## MamaRocks (Sep 28, 2007)

Yes, It bothers me. My hubby used to stay until all hours of the night and fall asleep on the couch. I used to complain about it and tell him I think it's an important part of intamacy. He never really does anything about it. It hurts, yes =(


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## MindySue (Sep 28, 2007)

Manders I would prob get upset if my bf said that to me as well..even if it was about sex haha. but thats not the reason because when i go to bed I am going to BED. haha.

Oh and I agree about the spending less time together I have been doing that more actually. We spent two whole days apart last weekend/week..(in a row) thats a lot for us so far. It will continue like that too im sure


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## BeneBaby (Sep 28, 2007)

Sounds like you have it under control Minders.


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## MindySue (Sep 29, 2007)

Wellll...we slept together last night. But at like 5 am he got up to say he was to hot in here and went to the living room. It was colder in his room! (and he had blankets on) so when I got up at like 11 and realized it was hotter in the living room. I asked him what the real reason was and he didnt say much but then said 'and you hogged most of the bed' ugh..i woke up like 4 times and made sure I was on my side. I think he is just not used to me taking up some of his sleeping space. I did enjoy the hours we slept together though, and wasnt that unhappy when he left..although a little bit. But I think if he stays with me for a few hours then I will be fine, as long as im asleep when he leaves. I still want him in there all the time though



But I cant win that way so I will comprimise.


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## Ricci (Sep 30, 2007)

So your willing to live with this for another 5 -10 years like that?

Originally Posted by *MindySue* /img/forum/go_quote.gif Wellll...we slept together last night. But at like 5 am he got up to say he was to hot in here and went to the living room. It was colder in his room! (and he had blankets on) so when I got up at like 11 and realized it was hotter in the living room. I asked him what the real reason was and he didnt say much but then said 'and you hogged most of the bed' ugh..i woke up like 4 times and made sure I was on my side. I think he is just not used to me taking up some of his sleeping space. I did enjoy the hours we slept together though, and wasnt that unhappy when he left..although a little bit. But I think if he stays with me for a few hours then I will be fine, as long as im asleep when he leaves. I still want him in there all the time though



But I cant win that way so I will comprimise.


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## CellyCell (Sep 30, 2007)

Boo Phil, boo.

Well, trust in what he says. I'm like that too, a person's sleeping habits are hard to break. I usually move into the living room when my room gets too stuffy and I sleep alone. When I used to share a bedroom, I wasn't like that... I liked the closeness. So, I think you just have to have patience with yourself and with him because it does take time to change. Like you said, you go to bed to simply go to bed. Snuggle his ass when he's awake - it's better anyways... he's conscious for super head and stuff.

I mean, lady, be grateful that he's within walking distance now... remember the miles you spent apart? Yeah. Not good.

Don't start annoying Phil... remember who his parents are and how much they're worth. HAHA.


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## MindySue (Sep 30, 2007)

Well I think that the love we have is way more worth it, if I would dump him over something like I would regret it..I never want to leave him.


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## Aquilah (Sep 30, 2007)

Okay, I think we should attempt to keep Mindy's concerns as the main issue and leave all drama aside... Thanks!


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## han (Sep 30, 2007)

imo actions speaks louder than words, if he continue to not want to sleep together and insist on haveing space then i would really, really, start to wonder.


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## Ricci (Sep 30, 2007)

Thats what i was trying to say

Originally Posted by *han* /img/forum/go_quote.gif imo actions speaks louder than words, if he continue to not want to sleep together and insist on haveing space then i would really, really, start to wonder.


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## MindySue (Sep 30, 2007)

well i dont agree and i know the advice is helpful and open minded but he doesnt want space in any other way, the issue isnt going past him not being used to me sleeping with him. he is very loving and we are close every other way. so im not going to wonder anymore, i feel more confident since reading aquilahs husbands response..and kee's hubby..after all they are guys and all guys have the same brain haha (just kidding)

thank you though


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## Ricci (Sep 30, 2007)

Mindy

I was only concerned thats all


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## BeneBaby (Sep 30, 2007)

I think it's safe to say that Phil is just a picky sleeper. My sister is the same way...everything has to be just right for her. Don't worry about it Minders. If everything else in the relationship is good this is nothing. Just keep trying and soon he'll get used to it.


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## Aquilah (Sep 30, 2007)

Originally Posted by *MindySue* /img/forum/go_quote.gif well i dont agree and i know the advice is helpful and open minded but he doesnt want space in any other way, the issue isnt going past him not being used to me sleeping with him. he is very loving and we are close every other way. so im not going to wonder anymore, i feel more confident since reading aquilahs husbands response..and kee's hubby..after all they are guys and all guys have the same brain haha (just kidding)
thank you though

If it helps, John's best friend just said the same thing John said LOL! Apparently, men need more space than we think they do... And more covers too! They're the real bed hogs LOL!


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## Geek (Sep 30, 2007)

hi lol


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## KellyB (Sep 30, 2007)

Originally Posted by *Tony(admin)* /img/forum/go_quote.gif hi lol Oh....you're a lot of help.


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## MindySue (Sep 30, 2007)

haha tony..

thanks aquilah it does


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## Saje (Sep 30, 2007)

Im telling you! you two should invest on a bigger bed!


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## vanilla_sky (Sep 30, 2007)

hehehe, yes, once during vacation i slept with my BF on a king size bed and it felt like we were sleeping in separate countries


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