# Have you ever dumped your friend or relative?



## CellyCell (Jun 30, 2007)

Um, I cut speaking to my father since last August. We live in the same household and everything. But I was just tired of his depressive mood swings and taking his anger out on me.

I dropped friends - but not for no apparent reasons.

I know some "friends" who choose to be with their new BF over there friends and come crawling back after they broke up.

I also don't speak to certain family members on my dad's side because they're just very dramatic people - doesn't mean I don't say Hi to them when I see them. But I don't care to converse with them or let them into my life.

Some people drop friends/relative due to drama. Either they don't want it from that person(s) or easily start it w/ that person. Maybe they're bad influences or simply don't have the time for them?


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## brewgrl (Jun 30, 2007)

i dropped a friend because she was just TOO much. she was a total alcoholic and had two sides... her normal side, and her "crazy" side. both sides were both incredibly selfish though.

we never had any beef, but she had made her mark on all my other friends... it was only a matter of time. i cut before there was a chance of loss.

i heard she's been a year sober, but i'm still not willing to go there.


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## Aprill (Jun 30, 2007)

I have felt for the past two years that I was wrong about this but I have dumped a friend.....Long story!!!! i will try to make it as short as possible:

My husband and I got married in 2004. MY BFFFFFFF was my friend for about 4 years prior to us getting married. Anyway, my husband knew about her, even when we were dating, but never agreed with her lifestyle or the way that she raised her baby, she would lock her baby up in a bedroom with Finding Nemo on repeat on her DVD player while she had sex with random men. She would wake up the next morning to poop everywhere in her bedroom. She used to work at night, and she would get off work and go to sleep with her baby running around destroying things that were hazardous. So my husband didnt like that, I told him I was going to be friends with her anyway, me and him didnt really beef about it. So after that, he had a army buddy that came to our house (married, 4 kids) just to chill out with my husband, drink, play video games, ect. She called, I told her we had company, she came over anyway, they started giving each other this look and they left. One after the other. Well, evidently, they went somewhere and did the nasty no-no, and that's when I decided I didnt want to have anything to do with her, cause I dont condone hook-ups in my home with married men. And to put the icing on the cake, she gave the dude an STD and he was mortified!!!!! But I felt like that's what they get. So in the end, my husband dosent associate with the army buddy, and i dont talk to her.

Her personal life is her personal life, but in my home, its not gonna work. She was told he was married, he knew he was married, it was just all wrong.


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## ivette (Jun 30, 2007)

i cut off 4 of my friends some years ago. they didn't value my friendship at all.

one was too busy with her boyfriend and the other three were busy with other stuff

now i choose my friends carefully


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## BeneBaby (Jun 30, 2007)

I cut off my Mom in February and we haven't talked since. My Mom is Bi-Polar and Manic. She also suffers from Anxiety and Panic disorder. She is very unpredictable. I have spent my entire life walking on eggshells in fear that she could explode on me at any moment. Well in February she came to stay in my House for a visit and was secretly stopped taking her medication. She became abusive and violent with Me and my BF. She even threatened my BF's life. She ended up ripping up all my photos of us together and assaulting me. The cops were called and she was taken away in ambulance because she had a Panic Attack. I haven't talked to her since. When I think about the events that transpired that day and the horrible things she said and did to me it feels like it just happened. I have been happier without her stress and negativity in my life. Someday I may try to forgive her, but right now I can't.


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## teleah613 (Jun 30, 2007)

Just last week I told my friend not to call me anymore. She told her girlfriend that I was talking about her and her girlfriend called me. The crazy thing is that I didn't say anything bad about her. And even if I did give her some advice why would she go and tell her gf what I said. Then on top of that my husband screamed on me for getting into other couples drama. I called my friend and asked her why did she lie on me. She said that she only did it to make her gf mad. After hearing that I decided that I really don't need that drama in my life. This isn't her first time doing this, she has done this numerous of times. So, basically I told her not to call me, i'll call her. At first I felt kind of sad but I'm at a point in my life where I don't have time for the bs.


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## kellianne76 (Jun 30, 2007)

I've dumped a friend I used to work with. I just couldn't handle her drama and told her to stop calling me.


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## empericalbeauty (Jun 30, 2007)

My friends dumped me for someone they met through me. Apparently, she was more fun than I was....Just because i refuse to be loud, crass and make lewd gestures at men doesnt mean I cant be fun..but hey!...maybe I am a prude..the pain gets easier after a while. at first you experience hurt and such but after a while you stop blaming yourself.


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## Dragonfly (Jul 1, 2007)

I have turned my back on a few people.

My brother is dead to me because of stuff that happened in our childhood.

As I get older, I find that I have higher standards for my self and I take less crap.

Just as I stop dating a man if he disrespects me in some fashion,

I end relationships with women that become unhealthy.


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## CellyCell (Jul 1, 2007)

Originally Posted by *BeneBaby* /img/forum/go_quote.gif I cut off my Mom in February and we haven't talked since. My Mom is Bi-Polar and Manic. She also suffers from Anxiety and Panic disorder. She is very unpredictable. I have spent my entire life walking on eggshells in fear that she could explode on me at any moment. Well in February she came to stay in my House for a visit and was secretly stopped taking her medication. She became abusive and violent with Me and my BF. She even threatened my BF's life. She ended up ripping up all my photos of us together and assaulting me. The cops were called and she was taken away in ambulance because she had a Panic Attack. I haven't talked to her since. When I think about the events that transpired that day and the horrible things she said and did to me it feels like it just happened. I have been happier without her stress and negativity in my life. Someday I may try to forgive her, but right now I can't. Can I say we're in the same boat? Except my dad suffers from depression and refuses to take medications. :
My sister suffers from Bi-Polar... but she already has cerebral palsy so it differs since she already can't speak properly.

Anyway, might I add I dropped this friend who was such an instigator and start shit for no reason. I actually remember being in some situation with her and the next day she told people an exaggerated version of the truth and since then I knew she was such a shitty person. I've known this girl since I was 8 yrs old - and she's been this way forever. I dropped her first when we entered freshman yr at Highschool but became friends again Senior year until she would get me into hella bullshit - I got into a fight with some other chick cus of her. After that, I was like 'Hell Nah'... two faced beezy who instigated.

She's nothing but an associate to me, I'll say hi and all. But when she invites me to places - I decline on purpose. My best friend was good friends with her for awhile until the other girl started some BS with my best friend and her boyfriend. Like, LOADS of BS... they weren't speaking for awhile and I warned my best friend from becoming good friends with her.

Now, the two of them speak on friendly terms - but my best friend doesn't trust her like she did before.


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## emily_3383 (Jul 1, 2007)

Originally Posted by *Aprill849* /img/forum/go_quote.gif I have felt for the past two years that I was wrong about this but I have dumped a friend.....Long story!!!! i will try to make it as short as possible:
My husband and I got married in 2004. MY BFFFFFFF was my friend for about 4 years prior to us getting married. Anyway, my husband knew about her, even when we were dating, but never agreed with her lifestyle or the way that she raised her baby, she would lock her baby up in a bedroom with Finding Nemo on repeat on her DVD player while she had sex with random men. She would wake up the next morning to poop everywhere in her bedroom. She used to work at night, and she would get off work and go to sleep with her baby running around destroying things that were hazardous. So my husband didnt like that, I told him I was going to be friends with her anyway, me and him didnt really beef about it. So after that, he had a army buddy that came to our house (married, 4 kids) just to chill out with my husband, drink, play video games, ect. She called, I told her we had company, she came over anyway, they started giving each other this look and they left. One after the other. Well, evidently, they went somewhere and did the nasty no-no, and that's when I decided I didnt want to have anything to do with her, cause I dont condone hook-ups in my home with married men. And to put the icing on the cake, she gave the dude an STD and he was mortified!!!!! But I felt like that's what they get. So in the end, my husband dosent associate with the army buddy, and i dont talk to her.

Her personal life is her personal life, but in my home, its not gonna work. She was told he was married, he knew he was married, it was just all wrong.

omg that women is gross she must have been a nice person? for you to hang out with her. I cant say I have bluntly told a person i wasnt going to speak to them but i have cut a few ties with people are just negative forces in my life. I really dont regret it, people dont change.


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## speerrituall1 (Jul 1, 2007)

Yes, I have dropped "so called friends." Some people are just toxic!


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## pinksugar (Jul 2, 2007)

guys, I just wanted to say, you don't have to feel guilty about dropping these people.

It's even harder not to feel guilt if it's a family member. I don't understand sometimes why it happens, but it seems to. I don't think I could 'escape' my family if I tried! LOL.

But yeah, I've drifted from friends, or they've done things I don't agree with, and its like, I can't deal with this negative influence in my life anymore. time to cut the ties.

Good luck chickens!


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## Shelley (Jul 2, 2007)

I have dumped my friends because they turned their backs on me even though I was there for all of them when they had their share of problems over the years. I tried speaking to them first a few times, but it didn't work so I decided to drop them.

About 10 years ago I dumped another friend because she was always picking at me. At first I tried to solve it by talking to her but it continued and I decided to end the friendship.


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## MindySue (Jul 2, 2007)

I've dumped friends loads of times because of drama and other things. Then I realize im too picky and thats why I have zero friends right now that I can hang out with. I need to change that part of me, but some of them DID deserve it..like stealing stuff from me.


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## Aprill (Jul 2, 2007)

Originally Posted by *emily_3383* /img/forum/go_quote.gif omg that women is gross she must have been a nice person? for you to hang out with her. I cant say I have bluntly told a person i wasnt going to speak to them but i have cut a few ties with people are just negative forces in my life. I really dont regret it, people dont change. I can be a total *****, dont get me wrong, but she was a very good friend, our lives didnt mix nor did they match. I also had alot of optimism that she would grow up eventually, but to this day and back to the date that i told her would not befriend her anymore, she has not grown up one day. I tried to help her and that's what was frustrating the most. I am a high honor student, and I was trying to help her get her GED, try to convince her to go to college, make herself a better person, and she slept on that. So I am finished and I hope that one day she will grow up.


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## melpaganlibran (Jul 2, 2007)

OMG lawd yes I have dumped a friend and a family member.

I had this 1 friend who would show up at my house unannounced and sometimes would come over when I told her NOT to. She started all kinds of drama, she told me to divorce my husband (yeah) about 1,000 times and when i stopped being friends with her she remained pals with him and began telling him I was a miserable person &amp; always would be and to divorce me.

She began emailing me a while after a mutual friend of all of ours passed on, I was freaked out and made almost no response. She began borderline stalking me on myspace but I set my profile to private one time and before that made some pointed blogs about two faced "friends" and how I didn't need any more.

I notcied 1 night when we were still friends that all she did was talk and gossip about people behind their backs nonstop and had one new crisis every two weeks and I literally vomited I was so disturbed. Ah, I was drunk and had had a horrible day, but still. The woman loved to say top people "it's none of your business!" but steadily keeps her nose in other people's business. she has since had a friend as a go between ask me to come to a concert with both of them but I refused, heck I even blew off the other friend because I decided she was judgemental. The one i had the most problems with I had known since I was about 12, hated her and became friends when we were 20 (i'll never doubt my first impression as much ever again) the other friend I blew off, I met her when i was 12 as well, it hurts sometimes because we began hanging out my sophomore year of high school.-15 yro. I just don't want her to be a source of info fabout my life to the other woman that i did my best to cut off forever.







I all but cut my mom out of my life, she has always been super critical of me and more forgiving toward my other siblings. i was a late bloomer in high school and she made fun of my breasts, I grew to a natural 36c and still struggle with thinking I should get implants.





She ran an identity fraud on me when I was younger and I never said anything to her about that until she forgot to take my teenaged sister to get birth control and my sister got pregnant at 17. I'm not sure I can ever forgive my mom for all that crap but I think she is toxic to me for some reason and I'm better off without her. I am polite to her she lives far away but I never call or email her. I visited my family up north last months for my sister's graduation (600 miles from where I live) and some of her closer friends and her lover told me they weren't aware that she had an oldest daughter. I wasn't hurt or even surprised. She refused to protect me as a child and I was abused and treated like a scapegoat by her live in b/f, I told her and she saw what he said and did to me but she kept saying it was no big deal and i shouldn't be such a baby (um i wasn't even eleven when this stuff went on) and that it was " a family secret" when I told her I talked to a school social worker about it. I moved to be with my father when I was nine, and he took care of me afterwards. My brother told me she has become a compulsive liar and it was scary to see, as a child I caught her in lil white lies all the time but she has gotten to where she will contradict herself like 12 times in a 30 minute conversation.

I all but hate her guts...

It feels sad and lonely and bitter but after a while you become accustomed and you just learn to live without people who hurt you or that you misjudged at the beginning. Life is too short to keep people around in your life who make you feel bad about yourself, or are 'toxic' drama or two faced.


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## Savvy_lover (Jul 2, 2007)

i dumped a girl who s always lying about stupid stuff. even how fast she got a pizza delivery. the worst thing she did was to use me to get fds sympathy. we used to be best fds but as soon as i saw that i ditched her.


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## bCreative (Jul 2, 2007)

I dropped a friend because she was too damn boring!! Plus she was always so damn depressed and she acted like the whole world was out to get her or somthing.

I tried so hard to keep the friendship together. But it was me who was always doing the calling and she would never call me and when I did call there was no conversation. So since March we haven't spoken and I feel like if she wants to talk then she can call me because I'm done.


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## pinksugar (Jul 3, 2007)

ugh. I have a friend like that... my school friends and I have dinner every sunday night together, to catch up and keep in touch. She's very egocentric, and it started off when she got a new boyfriend. First, she'd come to sunday dinner, but not eat anything, saying 'oh I ate at his house' then she'd only turn up some weeks, sending lame messages AFTER the meeting time about how she was sick, had hurt her leg, had a headache, was working, had to wash her hair! I dunno! LOL.

Now she sends us a token message every few weeks asking where and when dinner will be (it's the same time, same place every week) AFTER the time we meet up at.

You never get a chance to talk when she's at dinner, and she always has some long, complex drama that is really depressing, like her bf's brother teaching their new gorgeous puppy to bite people, or her ex boyfriend hurting kittens, or her bf breaking up with her in a really nasty way and she just going back to him and pretending like nothing had happened.

I mean everyone has their 'turn' to have a bad week, but with her, it's EVERY week, and no one else gets to speak!

Hopefully she'll eventually stop messaging all together and I won't have to see her much  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

I wouldn't actually ring her up and be like 'im never talking to you again' - I'd prefer to let the friendship just drift apart without being so obvious


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## jessimau (Jul 3, 2007)

In HS, I called a girl up and told her we weren't friends anymore and then pretty much told her off. She was always talking crap about me to other people, behind my back AND right in front of me! She even said something about the belly shirt I was wearing and how I had on a padded bra right in front of these guys we all liked. That same night she lied about us all having a ride home from Disneyland with her parents (we used to go there all the time) because she thought we could find guys to take us home. I had to call my mom really late and explain the situation and I got yelled at for it, so that was when I decided to cut it off. I've seen her in the past few years and we've been cordial. Of course, it's been like 10 years or more since I told her off.

Other friends I've "dumped" by just not calling anymore because they're not calling me. I think one will get the message when my wedding invitation comes for her parents, but not her. I almost feel bad, but then I remember all the times we had plans and she'd call at the last minute and say that some new guy was in town and they'd be going to whatever bar she and I had planned to go to, so I could come meet up if I wanted. As if we hadn't planned to go out together at all! I've had friends drop me too, but it was always for no apparent reason and they got really b****y about it. One thing I can't stand is girls who talk mad crap behind my back but don't have the guts to face up and tell me what's going on. It really hurts to be slowly cut out of a social circle and never know why. One of the girls who did that is now a friend on myspace and we're pleasant. I'll never understand why she did what she did, but apparently she didn't think I'd approve of her lifestyle (she ended up pregnant by some random guy) so she shut me out instead. I'm probably one of the most understanding people in that situation -- it's happened to at least 2 of my friends. *sigh* Anyway, yeah, it's a good idea to dump toxic people, and to do it quickly. If you've been really close and you just stop calling, I think some kind of explanation is nice so that at least they're not left wondering what they did to drive you away.


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## sooner_chick (Jul 4, 2007)

If a friend or a relative is abusive toward a person, that person has a right to

drop keeping in touch. It's just not worth it to be abused like that.


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## Bec688 (Jul 4, 2007)

I have dropped a couple of friends. I didn't agree with some of their actions and once they tried involving me with their bad choices, I cut ties. I used to make excuses for them when I was younger, but now I'm a little older I don't tolerate their crap anymore and I just have to let go. I don't need negative people like that in my life. It may be a little selfish, but I have delt with too much crap from people in my life and so if I can cut them loose, then I will.


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## han (Jul 4, 2007)

i have dumped alot of friends and i have never been more happy, i have zero drama in my life.


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## BeneBaby (Jul 4, 2007)

Originally Posted by *PrettyFlowers* /img/forum/go_quote.gif It seems that a lot of you have reasons on why you dumped someone but not that you were dumped.Because you dumped them, were you very clear that the relationship was going to be cut off completely? Or were they left out of the blue, not knowing what went wrong?

I don't ever remeber being dumped by a friend?? If I was , I never knew about it. With all the people I have detached from, they knew all about why. It wasn't like I one day stopped answering calls. It was months or years of trying to work it out and realizing it wan't meant to be.
I think it is very mature too be able to recognize when someone isn't good for you and to take action against it.


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## CellyCell (Jul 4, 2007)

Originally Posted by *PrettyFlowers* /img/forum/go_quote.gif It seems that a lot of you have reasons on why you dumped someone but not that you were dumped.Because you dumped them, were you very clear that the relationship was going to be cut off completely? Or were they left out of the blue, not knowing what went wrong?

I have been by a ex-best friend. Well, she dumped everyone around her basically.
It started cus her girlfriend from Arizona came to visit us. And my friend is Jehovan Witness and her parents found out that weekend that she had a girlfriend and threaten to kick her out and was told she was out of the church blah blah.

So she ran away from home and I went with her to the hotel and boozed around, whatever. She left the next day with her GF to Arizona and I was pretty ticked off because she wasn't coming back all because of this ugly chick that no one liked. We were still cool and all until myspace was invented... haha.

And my ex-friend saw the messages all our friends would post about her girlfriend, not my friend herself, just her girlfriend and got pissed off. Called me crying saying she doesn't ever want to speak with me - blah blah. What was more moded was that my ex-friend's family blamed me for turning her daughter lesbo and made her run away.






A. I'm not gay and wouldn't recruit people if I did

B. I tried telling her not to run away and to think about her family and the life she already had set up.

So her family is mental for thinking that and I had a good relationship with them. But meh.


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## melpaganlibran (Jul 5, 2007)

Originally Posted by *PrettyFlowers* /img/forum/go_quote.gif It seems that a lot of you have reasons on why you dumped someone but not that you were dumped.Because you dumped them, were you very clear that the relationship was going to be cut off completely? Or were they left out of the blue, not knowing what went wrong?

i'll admit that I got dumped by a few friends. The biggest reason I was given in the past was for being "negative." That was a long time ago, I have learned to be honest without being gloom-and doom, and i have learned to be honest while balancing it with tact. I consider it a lesson and have nothing against the former friends.

Originally Posted by *han* /img/forum/go_quote.gif i have dumped alot of friends and i have never been more happy, i have zero drama in my life. I agree SOOO much with Han! I have done the same this year and the past year. I do get lonley but I don't miss the drama. This may sound strange but I have often thought that some women take their friendship with gf's so seriously they act as if they got dumped by a lover. Do remember, that we are talking about grown women _not_ girls in 4th or 6th grade years in school (ages 8 to thirteen). Just a few called me expecting me to explain...inside my mind I was thinking, "even ex lovers are lucky to get 'closure.' we didn't make love so i don't think i owe (this lady) an explanation." On being dumped- lol i think one of the friend(s) thought i was a party animal and before that she acted as if I was too hung up on my boyfriend--um well i did Marry him later. I think she was/is jealous of me but I can't put into words "why." She also said I had changed too much &amp; that kinda sting...I quit talking to her for a few months and I began to text message her and I'm happy that she wrote back. I'm not sure we can ever be super close again, for I am very gaurded. But I still love her she was there for me every step of the way when I got seriously ill as a teen.


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## jessiej78 (Jul 20, 2007)

I cut off contact with my birth mother some time ago...

She is an alcoholic, and has some other serious issues. She is basically incredibly mean and combative, especially when she is drunk. I just cannot deal with trying to keep the peace between us- it is impossible. We were taken from her when we were kids, because she could not take care of us....she still thinks she did nothing wrong, and trust me, she did...

I have decided that my life is healthier when she is not in it, even though I do wish we could have a normal relationship. I agree very much with Carolyn- you have to have high standards as far as who you let in your life...even if the person is family- sometimes we still have to cut off contact if that person is having a truly negative impact on our lives...


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## SierraWren (Jul 20, 2007)

I cut my father out of my life for close to 10 years. My husband(then boyfriend) and best friend and a sister said they "could see what he did to me," even if I'd actually become rather numb to him.(He abused me both physically and emotionally as a child, left our family for nearly 4 years,with no idea where he was, and only a very ill,angry, manic-depressive mother to take care of us.) I don't feel like I'm a vengeful person, but self-protection and revenge are 2 different things,and when I realized my father still had incredible hostility towards me, I drew the line I never thought I'd draw: the one I told him bordered my life, which he was no longer to have any part of.At first,he didn't even respect that(kept crank calling me,and leaving weird messages)but finally,he stopped.That was the weirdest, densest silence of my life.

My mother is a different story. When she was sick, she was very abusive while I was growing up,and she can still "attack"; sometimes I have to "take breaks" from her --the longest I think was 8 months. She is so helpless,though, that in the end,there was never an end, and I come right back to where I was with her. Against great odds,my mother raised me(and 3 others)and I could never fully exile her from my life. I do not know that she has any other place to go.


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## farris2 (Aug 4, 2007)

only the toxic ones


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## SqueeKee (Aug 4, 2007)

My older sister is no longer a part of my life.

When I was 18 I work as a nanny for a mother with Post pardum depression. I was working so hard I nearly lost my mind. 4 kids, ages 9, 7, 5 and newborn. She wouldn't even look at the baby. I did everything.

Anyway, my sister told me that this was not good situation to be in, especially since I was only being paid 50$ a week. She told me to come stay with her and take care of her 2 kids (ages 9 and 5) and she would pay me 200$ a month.

Well this seemed like a perfect situation. I left my job and went to stay with my sister.

I find out her abusive boyfriend is still secretly living with her. And I mean secretly as in she's hiding it from our family. A few weeks later, her BF gets too nervous with me there giving her support. He must have sensed somehow that I was, maybe it was her behavior, who knows?

Anyway, he made up a story that I was harming their youngest child, terrorized me and threatened my life when I said I was going to call the cops.

So my sister kicked me out onto the streets of Toronto at 10pm at night, with nothign but a backpack and the clothes on my back. I had to make my own arrangements to get home, she didn't care if I lived or died.

She is no longer in my life. Nor will she ever be.


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## missnadia (Aug 4, 2007)

I "dump" people sometimes.. Sometimes you grow apart and you just end up having differences in life.. And you realize that your outlooks on the world have become so dramatically different that you're just wasting your time with that person, because she doesn't seem to understand you at any level. Or worse, she might be a nuisance to you, sucking out your energy and bothering you with idiotic dramas. Yeah, I really have no remorse about dumping those types of people.. I'd rather spend my energy on the people who care for me and share my own world..


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## StrangerNMist (Aug 4, 2007)

The first person that I had to dump was a friend.

I think the fact that she moved up to Canada made things just a little bit easier (for me at least). I guess she was never a really good friend to begin with, and I remember her not only saying bad things ABOUT me, but she also said nasty things ABOUT me TO me. She also liked to lie to me about certain things, but she didn't do it a whole lot because she knew that I could call her on her b.s.

There was one particular incident where she actually scolded me in front of me in front of everyone else just because I stood up for myself when I was made fun of by someone else in the cafeteria. She made fun of me and tortured me for weeks on end, but after a while she decided to be forgiving, so I cautiously decided to be forgiving back.

I kept the relationship as strained as I could. As soon as I graduated, our communication stayed steady, but started to drop off after the beginning of 2006.

I guess she thought since she was living up in Canada now that she could further exaggerate the stories that she told me, some of them so off the wall that I just couldn't bear to listen. The straw that broke the camel's back is when she called me on almost a daily basis telling me that her boyfriend's parents were coming to kill her. After that she decided to e-mail me to tell me she was busy and that and that she was too busy to send me the e-mail anyway. I guess she was shocked when I didn't respond, because she sent me three more e-mails asking where I was and why I didn't reply.

I haven't replied to her since, nor do I care to.


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## Solimar (Aug 4, 2007)

The first person I ever had to ditch was my best friend back in high school. I don't care much to remember the details, but what she did was horrible, so at my lunch hour, when I was seventeen, I *****ed her out in the student lounge and walked away. It took over a year to ever look at her and say hi (day before HS graduation) and I have not seen or spoken to her since...though she tries to talk and call all the time.

My family is basically all estranged from me now. I have not seen my grandparents, aunt and uncle's (and my cousins) in over a year. I have the biggest issue with my grandparents, who actually encouraged my dad to cheat on my mother before and after they were married. Before they were married, my grandma had my dad's ex-fiance come over to the house to meet my mom who was his new fiance. My grandma said that "engagements were meant to be broken" and left it at that. She never allowed my dad to grow up, so at nearly 50 years old, he gets a check for 4000 dollars every three weeks from his parents. They encouraged the abuse on my mom and I, encouraged that he stay out all night, etc. Finally, when I was 18 years old after many years of BS, they told me to give them my college tuition bill and they would pay it. I was like SWEET, and sent them the bill like they told me to. My dad told me they paid, and so did they...and they were like "how does it feel to be a college student now?" and all that kind of crap. Anyway, three months later...my school calls...the tuition wasn't paid. My brother had told me prior they weren't going to -- but they lied to me, and so did my dad. I was tired of their lies. It took until 6/3/06 when I confronted my grandma in a bathroom, completely ripped her a new one, walked out and drove away. Never saw them since.

My dad, I haven't seen since my birthday, 2/19, but that was nearly 6 months ago -- I won't see him this coming 6 months either, and I have decided that y 20th birthday was the last time he ever will. He is an abusive POS, and I am not going to associate with the fakest of all people, not to mention heartless.

My mom is on the way to being cut off, since she defended my father in what he did to me, ignored me as a child, etc. She has PPD after my brother was born, but it wasn't so watched-out for then. I was left to take care of him when he was an infant, and I wasn't tall enough to do anything. She eventually moved food and milk down to where I could get it, etc. while she laid on the couch all day. She then got treated, and became fine, just to then ignore me. When I was 13, I sat in her room until 3:00 every morning listening to her cry about my dad...but when I was depressed and ad blankets over my windows until I was 18, she didn't even give a shit - she said she thought it was normal. Haha, I'm sure that going from outgoing girl with a lot of friends, to very depressed girl who wished her friends would disappear off the planet was normal.

My brother is my dad part two - a lying, spoiled, selfish person. He is next.

UGH! Haha, my family is a mess.


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## _withoutYou (Aug 22, 2007)

i think it's sad how a lot of you turn your back on your friends/relatives when they're going through hard times instead of being supportive and sticking it out with them, i wouldn't want "friends" who run away when you need them the most.


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## KellyB (Aug 22, 2007)

I have read all these posts today and in some of the situations I don't know how you couldn't have cut them out of your life. In the end, We HAVE to live with ourselves and when another persons drama, psychological issues or whatever begin to have a negative effect on our own lives I don't think there is another way out. My own marriage reflects that thought. My ex-husband over a few years time became angry, depressed and physical. He never "hit" me but he shoved me into a wall and he kicked my dog because he was mad at me. I begged him to get help. He wanted marriage counseling and I tried but I told him he had to work on himself also. He went to a total of 2 sessions. I hung in there for 7 years. His personality began to change mine. I could feel myself taking on his traits. I decided that I had had enough. You have to be able to distinguish the difference between the laziness of just being tired of someones crap or the fact that their toxcicity is changing your life for the worse......or for that matter, anyone who has no positive impact on your life. There is nothing wrong with thinking of yourself and knowing when you can't help someone anymore.


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## enyadoresme (Aug 26, 2007)

Originally Posted by *CellyCell* /img/forum/go_quote.gif Um, I cut speaking to my father since last August. We live in the same household and everything. But I was just tired of his depressive mood swings and taking his anger out on me.
I dropped friends - but not for no apparent reasons.

I know some "friends" who choose to be with their new BF over there friends and come crawling back after they broke up.

I also don't speak to certain family members on my dad's side because they're just very dramatic people - doesn't mean I don't say Hi to them when I see them. But I don't care to converse with them or let them into my life.

*Some people drop friends/relative due to drama. Either they don't want it from that person(s) or easily start it w/ that person. Maybe they're bad influences or simply don't have the time for *

*them*?

That's what it boils down to.


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