# SO confused.



## alexxx! (Apr 8, 2009)

i haven't been on here in a while but it's nice to come back! i've been really confused lately about this guy i've kind of been seeing and last night kinda just put me over the edge and i need some advice now! sorry this is kind of long. hopefully i don't ramble too much :]

so i've been hanging out/talking to this guy for about a month now and we started having sex about a week into it and everything seemed good. for a couple weeks he was going out to the bars every night and i went to go pick him up quite a few nights and i stayed over at his place. so last sunday i got my period and i picked him up from the bar and he wanted to "thank me" for picking him up by going down on me and i told him he probably wouldn't want to do that... so he got the hint. next night, i picked him up and we went back to his place and had a couple drinks and when we went to bed, he asked if i could tonight and i said no and he asked when i would be able to and i told him probably on sunday. for the rest of the week he invited me over and i slept there and we just cuddled and slept together. he kissed me a couple of those nights but it wasn't really anything all that exciting, but i was just like alright whatever... next week will be back to normal. then i saw him on friday night when his band was playing and i talked to his band mate when he was in the crowd and he was like, 'oh hey i didn't know you were here. he was looking for you.' so a few minutes later during their break my friend said he was talking to some guy and pointed at me. then i went over to talk to him and that's about it. saturday night i picked him up from the bar again and i COULD have sex, so i was trying to hint at it and nothing happened. sunday night around 2am he texts me and apparently was at a casino but i was sleeping so i didn't answer like i normally would and i didn't know if he wanted to hang out when he got done there or what. then on monday night, he didn't text me so i texted him and he said he was out of town (well, like 40 minutes out of town) for a friend's birthday, so he was drinking. i asked him if he'd be back tonight and he said yes, so i asked if he wanted to hang out. and he said "just wait" and then he said he'd be back in 40 minutes. i stayed awake about an hour and a half after that and still hadn't heard from him and started to get tired so i went to bed. the next day (yesterday) he talked to me on facebook chat and was telling me about his new guitar and we talked for a bit and i asked him how last night was (the night of his friend's birthday) and he said he was wasted and blacked out. so i was like, alright. that would explain him not calling me when he got back into town. whatever, not a big deal. then he told me i could "come over if i was bored" so i decided to because i kind of wanted to have sex since i hadn't for the past week and a half. i go over there, and we hung out for a while with his friend/roommate and this girl he had over and then when they went to his room, we stayed in the living room and watched a movie and cuddled together on the couch. i was hinting that i wanted to have sex and it kind of seemed like maybe he wanted to by how he was pulling me closer to him and how he had his head on my shoulder so our faces were close and he was like moving his hips a little like how you would if you were having sex? lol it's a little hard to describe, sorry. so i fell asleep and woke up when he was getting up to go to bed and i just fell asleep again on the couch and woke up when the movie was over and brought his comforter back to his bed and layed down and went to sleep and woke up another time and he was laying behind me with his arm around my waist or stomach, whatever. and that's pretty much all that happened until now lol. sooo idk. i think it's really odd that he would go from kissing me and having sex to nothing when i actually can and really want it. it would make more sense to me if he just stopped asking me to come over but he still invites me over. i'm just super confused. any advice would be appreciated! :[


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## -Chelsey- (Apr 8, 2009)

I'm confused on what you want advice for, you want to now why he won't have sex with you or you want to know if he likes you?

It sounds like you just don't know why he hasn't slept with you in a week? Have you tried initiating it or are you waiting for him to?


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## Dragonfly (Apr 8, 2009)

Listen - no one likes sex more than me. But even I know that to keep the spice alive you have to mix things up.

Why not have normal dates - go to a movie, a nice dinner, tennis match - you get the idea.

Then when sex occurs, it makes it all that more fun.

The reality is, trying to read one's mind is a huge mistake. Ask the boy what's going on - only he knows.


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## alexxx! (Apr 8, 2009)

sorry i guess i didn't make that too clear. lol i just am trying to figure out if he still likes me and why he hasn't slept with me or even kissed me lately. we have tried to do normal things but our schedules kind of clash and we usually only have nights to spend together. and i haven't really initiated it but when we're laying together i always rub my hands on him when i want something and don't if i don't want anything.


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## Lucy (Apr 8, 2009)

Originally Posted by *alexxx!* /img/forum/go_quote.gif sorry i guess i didn't make that too clear. lol i just am trying to figure out if he still likes me and why he hasn't slept with me or even kissed me lately. we have tried to do normal things but our schedules kind of clash and we usually only have nights to spend together. and i haven't really initiated it but when we're laying together i always rub my hands on him when i want something and don't if i don't want anything. he might just want to slow things down. if you started sleeping together a week into it, that's very soon. tbh i don't think you have anything to worry about, sex happens naturally when two people are comfortable with each other, he might just need some more time. the only advice i'd give is to maybe back off a bit, if you're initiating sex, or giving him these hints, it might put him off a bit more. the best sex is relationship sex, you need to let the relationship grow a bit- there's a lot more to relationships than sex.


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## Adrienne (Apr 8, 2009)

I think you're putting too much of a connection on being liked equaling sex interest. Not to sound mean, maybe he was just in it for the sex? Personally, if I were in the dating scene, sex is just sex. Yes, there is mutual attraction (hopefully lol) that gets you to that point but I don't think that your sex drive should interpret how much someone likes/cares you. Try talking to him. Maybe he has some personal issues going on.


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## alexxx! (Apr 8, 2009)

Originally Posted by *Adrienne* /img/forum/go_quote.gif I think you're putting too much of a connection on being liked equaling sex interest. Not to sound mean, maybe he was just in it for the sex? . that's what i was thinking at first, but then he continues to keep inviting me over and in my past experiences they'd just stop talking to me. i'm not really in it for a relationship... just kind of to hang out or whatever, but if one were to come out of this i wouldn't really mind it, and i have told him that. i asked him if this "thing" we have was going anywhere because one night when he was at the bar with his friends they asked how long we had been dating and before i could say we weren't he said "oh about a couple weeks" and another time he said something about me "picking my boyfriend (him) up from the bars all the time"... so i asked him about it when he was sober and he said he didn't want anything too serious right now because his schedule is so busy, which i understand, and that's fine with me. i don't know if i should talk to him again or what to even say.


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## Orangeeyecrayon (Apr 8, 2009)

it kinda sounds like you and him are on diffrent pages, he seems really into you and like he likes you, but by the way you say you are acting and making it all about sex it kinda seems like you just want him as a booty call, which he may want. If you really like him than tone down the whole sex thing, honestly in the end it is not the most important part. Also if you want it say something he may not be getting the hint. and lastly if you dont want a relationship just a booty call tell him, he does have a right to know your intentions


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## Adrienne (Apr 8, 2009)

Hmm, it does sound like a booty call thing. You said you had already told him you're not in it for a relationship. If it were me and someone had told me that and we were casually having sex, I really wouldn't put that much effort into our relationship. Either way, the only way to straighten this out is to talk to him. This way nobody gets led on and you both have an understanding of what your relationship is.


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## alexxx! (Apr 8, 2009)

thanks to you all for your opinions, they're helpful :] i think i'll probably need to just talk to him and get on the same page about this.


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## bella1342 (Apr 8, 2009)

I was about to post a response and realized this isn't in the adult forum... so I can't say what I wanted to say. LOL!


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## alexxx! (Apr 8, 2009)

Originally Posted by *bella1342* /img/forum/go_quote.gif I was about to post a response and realized this isn't in the adult forum... so I can't say what I wanted to say. LOL! lol i was trying to decide whether to put this in that forum or here... ended up here


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## pinksugar (Apr 8, 2009)

hehe, this isn't in the sex forum but I'd try initiating things. Don't hint, shove him on the bed and climb on top, LOL.

If he is refusing you after being as obvious as that, you have your answer.

If he doesn't refuse, it maybe that he wanted to feel 'wanted' or that you were interested. Guys like being chased too, so maybe by initiating things!

But the only way you'll know, is if you ask him!




good luck! let us know what happens!


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