# Being a Teenager



## makeupandmusic (Oct 28, 2008)

So as most of you know, I'm only sixteen.

Yesterday I was talking to my mom about getting a job and my license and she sent me such mixed signals. First she says I'm not ready for the world, and the work field isn't as easy as it seems. Then she shoving applications in my face and telling me to stop acting so "grown up"

It's frustrating because I don't understand what she's trying to say. It's like she's getting upset because I want a job.

It's like no matter what I want to do in life, she always has something to say about it. But the thing is, if shes talking to someone else, she'll brag about me (when there's really nothing to brag about) but when we're alone she'll question my decisions or say something like "It'd be better if you did ________"

UGH

Am I wrong for wanting to move out as soon as I turn 18?


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## nlsphillips (Oct 28, 2008)

I think I can chime in here as a parent of a daughter that is about to turn 16 in a week. I don't know if you have any other siblings, but I only have one daughter. Sometimes I still see her as that cute, bubbly 3 year old and other times I see her as a beautiful grown up woman. It is hard for me, as she is still my "Baby" in so many ways.

I think your mom may just be trying to help by telling you things when you talk about what you want to do in life. I try to give my daughter ideas of what it was like for me in a given situation.

As a mom, I am having a tough time "Mothering a TEEN!"

I hope I've helped.


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## makeupandmusic (Oct 28, 2008)

Yeah you've helped a little.

Sometimes she says she looks at me and still remembers what it was like when I was born.

I have four more siblings, the youngest of those four is 26, so I'm by far the baby. And it makes it so much harder for me because she expects me to do everything my siblings did and more


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## Adrienne (Oct 28, 2008)

Well, I grew up being in the middle and I had moved out by the time I was 16, talk about starting early lol. I can't believe I was paying utilities at your age but I don't regret my decision as I look at my peers and realize so far that I'm one of the only ones who understands what real responsiblities are. I think this is just a perfect example of teenage and parent. Trust me, hang in there because as you become an adult, you mom will eventually recognize you as one and treat you like one as well. I spend more time with my dad than ever before and go out to eat at least once a week and he's the one I used to butt heads with all the time lol.


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## Dragonfly (Oct 28, 2008)

I'm a mom of a son who will be turning 16 in a few months.

I am also guilty of wanting him to remain my baby and not grow up. But at the same time I am talking to him about what college to attend, his girlfriend and activities he likes to do.

It can be a difficult time for parents that know that their children are on the verge of becoming adults.

The only advice I can offer is talk to your mom and let her know she is sending you mixed messages.

Your mom might also want assurances that you won't fly too far from the nest - metaphorically speaking - even though she knows you'll be on your own one day.

Hope this helps


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## magneticheart (Oct 28, 2008)

I think what everyone else has said is right.

One minute parents look at you and see you as their little baby and the next they look at you and realise they need to treat you like an adult.

I've just turned 17 and I don't have a job yet. Firstly because there's no part time jobs for teenagers free atm where I live and secondly because even if there was I don't know where I'd fit it in around the massive workload I have from college.

I'll be getting one next year even if the workload doesn't lighten up, partly cos I need the cash and partly to shut my dad up lol

If you want a job then I'd go for it but if not then show your mum that you are a grown up by helping out more around the house and stuff.

Hope I helped


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## S. Lisa Smith (Oct 28, 2008)

Originally Posted by *magneticheart* /img/forum/go_quote.gif I think what everyone else has said is right.One minute parents look at you and see you as their little baby and the next they look at you and realise they need to treat you like an adult.

I've just turned 17 and I don't have a job yet. Firstly because there's no part time jobs for teenagers free atm where I live and secondly because even if there was I don't know where I'd fit it in around the massive workload I have from college.

I'll be getting one next year even if the workload doesn't lighten up, partly cos I need the cash and partly to shut my dad up lol

If you want a job then I'd go for it but if not then show your mum that you are a grown up by helping out more around the house and stuff.

Hope I helped


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## Killah Kitty (Oct 28, 2008)

My mom used to be the same way. Even worse probably and my whole family as well. They were always trying to shelter my life because Im the only child.

Anyway it didnt matter what I said. They've only stopped being like that because... now I have a job and get my school work all done. I take initiative doing things like laundry, booking my own appointments, getting my license, cooking, paying my bills etc. I have a lot more freedom now. I guess what I'm trying to say is responsibility and maturity make a big difference. I don't know if that answers your question lol.

Oh and Im 18 as well and planning to move out soon. Just saving up right now. They have driven me crazy for years lol but they are still my family and Im not going to take on all the responsibilities of being on my own until I am completly and fiancially ready... as much as Id like to pack up and get out ASAP it just isn't all that realistic yet... but soon lol.


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## makeupandmusic (Oct 28, 2008)

Yeah I understand all you ladies.

It's just hard for her to understand that I'm not a baby anymore. I don't consider myself an adult, even though she assumes I do.

It's just that I want just a little more freedom. I understand she wants my well being, and I also understand that if I want more freedom I'll have to take responsibility, but its like she doesn't think I'm ready to handle responsibility as an adult. When I'm doing things myself. I do the laundry, i cook, i clean, i manage money, i help pay my mother's bills, i babysit/take care of my nephew.

I'm not swearing that if I moved out tomorrow I'd know what to do, but I am saying that I have an idea or two about responsibility


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## Kimmers86 (Oct 29, 2008)

She wants you to grow up and be the woman she always imagined and at the same time she wants you to stay her baby forever. Totally typical momma. I was the youngest and only girl, so I went through this when I was a teen too.


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## pinksugar (Oct 29, 2008)

I still face the same problems sometimes and I'm 7 years older than you, lol!

my mum says she thinks I'm too young to get married, or she'll say 'what are you doing in my kitchen apart from making a mess'

when

a. she got married when she was 2 years younger than I am now, and

b. I never make a mess in her kitchen and she knows I'm making lunches for a full week because I'm being responsible and budgeting. If I were to buy lunch every day she'd have a go at me about wasting my money, LOL.

You can't win! but the older you get the less it happens as they realise you are an adult and not their baby, and also, the less it bothers you (because you're an adult and you don't have to fight for everything to remind them you're not a child)

It will pass! the others gave great advice so hopefully we've all helped, if only a little!


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## Nick007 (Oct 29, 2008)

If you don't have to work then don't! Enjoy your youth and have fun. You'll be working for many LONG years to come. Focus on school and just be young and have fun. Make the most out of it.


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## bCreative (Oct 29, 2008)

Wanting to work at 16 is no problem at all....I'm sure my parents would have been dancing if I wanted to get a job at 16.


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## Roxie (Oct 29, 2008)

I read your message yesterday and have been thinking it over. You have had a lot of good replys, but I thought I would put my ten cents worth in.





I know what your going through as I went through it for most of my teenage years (so far). It's hard because you don't know what your mum wants. For me, it wasn't until this year that my mum and I stopped fighting over this kind of thing (cuz we are both very stubborn). All I did was just opened my ears and tried to look at it from her point of view.

For example, when you babysit, do jump into mum mode? Do you wants kids to stay cute and young forever, but then wish silently that they would grow up? It is sort of like that.

Your mum wants you to stay her little girl, but at the same times she knows you are growing up and she wants you to be happy (all mums do - although it hardly ever seems that way). Your mum would be dealling with her own 'letting go'. That would also explain why she shoved those applications in your face and told you to stop acting so grown up. Kids always act grown up and she would still want it to be that, but because she threw the applications at you, that tells you she is trying to accept that you are actually growing up.

Be patient with her and calmy talk with her about what you both want so you can come to some sort of agreement. Just saying things out of the blue can be scary for her.

You're only sixteen, so I don't think you should look at getting a job just yet. If you get paid to babysit, then do that for another year and then look at getting a 'real job'.

As for getting a liscense, if you are ready, then that's something worth looking at.

Just take it one step at a time and you and your mum wil both get there.

I hope I've been of some help!


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## makeupandmusic (Oct 30, 2008)

Yeah I understand.

The people I babysit are related to me, so sometimes I do feel like a mom when I say "Wow, I remember when you were born!" And I just wonder how they got so big so fast.

So I can understand where my mother is coming from


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## Roxie (Oct 31, 2008)

Yeah lol. We all grow up so fast - which is another thing, too. If your mum is anything like mine, my mum hates change. And growing up is one HUGE change.


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## makeupandmusic (Oct 31, 2008)

lol yeah i know! my mom hates change


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## Roxie (Oct 31, 2008)

I've been talking to my mum about where to go when I finish highschool and she is panicking because I planned on going five hours away to Beauty School. I agreed to go locally just because it would save me some money... and it might be a bit too big a change for me too lol.

Have you sorted out the job and liscense with your mum?


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## makeupandmusic (Oct 31, 2008)

Yes we have!

Actually, about the job.

Tuesday I received a phone call from a lady at this local modeling agency (back in june, on me and my now-bf's first date she was at the mall with a little stand and cards to fill out. so i filled one out and thought nothing of it) I scheduled an interview yesterday and they told me my eye make up was really pretty, etc etc

Then they asked me some questions that had nothing to do with modeling. And long story short they told me they loved my personality and now I have classes once a week for 17 weeks.

She said that I didn't have to get a job if I didnt want to, since my saturdays are now tied up. I agreed, but now I have to babysit like crazy to make money for both driving school and my modeling classes. lol

But its sooo worth it though cause theres so much more to it then modeling. I get to take make up classes, and haircare classes, etc. Im soooo excited!


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## Roxie (Nov 2, 2008)

Awsome!! Congratulations. That sounds so cool!



You're so lucky!


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## makeupandmusic (Nov 2, 2008)

yeah i feel really lucky

today was my first class

it was sooo great

my teacher works at sephora

amazing that someone actually knows what im talking about


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## Roxie (Nov 2, 2008)

lol, right now, I wish I was you.






You have sorted out things with your mum, getting your liscense, and having modeling classes that could not only get you a job, but a really exciting - and rewarding - career.


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## makeupandmusic (Nov 2, 2008)

awww lol i wouldnt wish to be me

i have a lot to juggle

i have a lot to plan for

manage money for

monday i have to call the library i put an application in and see if im accepted

if i am ill have to schedule my classes another day


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## Roxie (Nov 2, 2008)

lol, you're so busy! But it still is exciting, I've always loved planning - I go mad if I haven't got something to plan... but then, I have much too big an imagination and I plan things that couldn't happen in a million years lol





Of course, I have never been good at managing money - good luck with that one!


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## makeupandmusic (Nov 2, 2008)

lol managing money has never been like super hard for me. i guess cause my mom taught me how.

the way i do it

if i get paid for something i split it depending on what im saving for then divide it like that lol.

but planning for things that would never happen lol

when iget like that i just turn it into a novel type thing and let my imagination go insane


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## Roxie (Nov 2, 2008)

My mum taught me how to manage money, too. I was taught to divide money into four (saving, expenses, investments, and charities). I did it for a little while, but I don't get money very often so I just stopped. I don't buy expensive things but I have an eye for cheap things and end up spending all on lots of little things.



I love markets and second hand stores!

I used to write all the time, but my imagination stretches only so far before it changes to something else and I've lost all enthusiasm for whatever it was I was so focused on before. I am currently trying to sort out that imagination of mine so that I can actually use it constructively lol


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## makeupandmusic (Nov 2, 2008)

lol thats so cool

i write all the time too

in fact yesterday i got caught writing in class. lol


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## Roxie (Nov 3, 2008)

lol





I started writing music a couple months ago as I don't seem to have the patience to write more than a page



I wrote a book once, but I just have too much on my mind to write one thing at a time.

I think we've sort of highjacked this thread...


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## makeupandmusic (Nov 4, 2008)

lol aww. yeah i have that patience i wrote like 98 pages once. back in 7th grade. i never wrote that much up to date lol.

lol yeah we have but its okay

no one else is saying anything anyway


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## Roxie (Nov 4, 2008)

lol





I made an attempt at writing a book once - 80,000 words! I did it, but I was so sick of it by the end lol I haven't writen much at all since.

Did you say you were applying for a job at the library?


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## makeupandmusic (Nov 4, 2008)

lol yep

i have to find time to call them!!

and check on my application


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## Roxie (Nov 5, 2008)

lol I once thought of getting a job at a library because I used to basically live there, but school has me busy and babysitting my brothers is kind of a full time job - not that I am complaining. I get to stay home and play with makeup and beauty products!


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## makeupandmusic (Nov 6, 2008)

lol yeah i have to babysit my nephew on mondays wednesdays and fridays

he lives with us

so when my mom is working late i get him off the bus, help him with his homework etc

if i do get a job at the library

i'd only have time for tuesdays and thursdays

the rest of my week is filled


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## Roxie (Nov 7, 2008)

Yes, your week is seriously full!

When do you get time to breathe?


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## makeupandmusic (Nov 7, 2008)

lol on sundays when im stuck in church lol


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## Roxie (Nov 8, 2008)

lol, that's a good place to breathe!


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## makeupandmusic (Nov 10, 2008)

lol yeah


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