# What is/was your biggest turn off in a guy?



## llehsal (Apr 4, 2011)

There is this guy I met on Twitter through friends and so forth...so sometime we decided to go to each other's excercise classes and stuff like that....and even do lunch...well....hmmm!!!  He met me at my office sometime to go to lunch and let me tell you, his car was the filthiest thing I have seen in a very.....very long time...files and paper and wrapper and dust was just everywhere...the passenger seat had soooo much stuff on it...it took a while for me to get it cleared and into it...on top of that...the dashboard had a film of dust thicker than a sheet of cardboard (little exaggeration but you know what I mean).  There was alot of gunk stuck around all over as well...I go out to have lunch and dreaded going back in after lunch...after that, I was like..but if this is just his car..what does his apartment look like? 




  Sorry ....but I won't be finding THAT out....that was the ultimate turn off..and on top of this...I was expecting a "sorry the car is in such a mess, but......".  But I got nothing....oh wel...what about you?


----------



## DreamWarrior (Apr 4, 2011)

OMG! Nooo! I hate that! Im thinking the same way as you are.  Not even an apology?! Really?!

FAIL!





My turn off is arrogance and cockiness and a macho ego.  Alpha males are okay, but Im an Alpha too - so we tend to butt heads.  That's why I went and got me a wifey! LOL!  Yes, my S/O is a man, but I tell him all the time Im glad I found him and that he is my wife and I am his husband.  He takes care of the house, picks up the kids, and he does the cooking (sometimes)! He even does LAUNDRY!  OMG, did I tell you he's a mechanic too!  Faint. Im set for life ladies!


----------



## Amber204 (Apr 4, 2011)

Hahaha so glad my guy didn't think that when he met me, I am a slob still but not so bad as I was in high school idk I just find cleaning tedious and I have done a 180 since we met. His brother used to sleep on his laundry all over his bed with no sheets and the dirties went on the floor he was a tree logger than and had his own business and no time to clean, his now wife has straightened him out completely so if it's the right guy things can be "corrected.'

Dream I agree 110% I hate rudeness in any sense of the word arrogance, no manners, respect etc. I was always taught to thank people for even the littlest of kind gestures. LOL Right on Dream you found yourself a nanny, jk!! I knew mine was a keeper when Grandma liked him, she got him a Christmas present after a month of us dating and always remarks on how polite, and neat he is.... Now we are building a house together and planning a family so life couldn't be better.....but I think grandma is trying to steal him from me hehe!!


----------



## DreamWarrior (Apr 4, 2011)

LOL! Grandma is awesome! LOL!



> Originally Posted by *Amber204* /img/forum/go_quote.gif
> 
> I knew mine was a keeper when Grandma liked him, she got him a Christmas present after a month of us dating and always remarks on how polite, and neat he is.... Now we are building a house together and planning a family so life couldn't be better.....but I think grandma is trying to steal him from me hehe!!


----------



## llehsal (Apr 4, 2011)

LMAO @ granny trying to steal him!!!


----------



## Dragonfly (Apr 4, 2011)

Lots of things turn me off - but they are deal breakers:

abusive, cheater, self-absorbed, cruel to animals, etc.

Little, petty things don't bother me as I'm not perfect either


----------



## SarahNull (Apr 5, 2011)

Turn Ons - Class. Intelligence. Independence. Financial Stability. Good hygiene. Disease and drug free. Men with direction. Sophistication and Suaveness. Extraverts (I am extraverted and expect my man to be social. I tried dating an introvert and it just didn't work). Culturally connected men (A man that cannot tell me the difference between a Persian and Arab is not for me). Loyal men. Men with a sense of individualism (whether it be in their aura or fashion sense, etc). Humor. Security. Men with intellect and common sense. Optimism. I am attracted to men that can be serious, yet wild. Mysterious men who are open books are a turn on. Men with swagger. Non-smokers. Confidence (men can have some insecurities, but when you are constantly putting yourself down, it gets nauseating). Social drinkers. A man who currently wants a child, but has none is a turn on simply because I am a woman with no children that wants children someday. And more...

Turn Offs - Dependent men. Stupidity. Bad Hygiene. Disease (will not date anyone with an STD). Drug Users. Alcoholics. Uneducated men. Men who have no ambition, goals, or any accomplishments. Men with lots of kids to lots of different women. Attention seeking men. Weirdly introverted. Men with any addictions that are abnormally sinister. Men with a Dr. Jekyll &amp; Mr. Hyde type personality. Men with no faith in anything. Pessimists. Men who are racist. Men that laugh at their own jokes. Morbid jealousy. Collectivists (wanting to own the finest of everything is great, but when you purposely shove it in other's faces, like they owe you more is not worth a relationship). Radically introverted men. Skeezes. Little Man Syndrome. Low self esteem. Insecurity. Narcissism. A man that smokes cigarettes (pot and hookah don't bother me that much when in moderation). A man with more drama and baggage than the Chicago airport. Any man that is on the convicted felons list. I am sure I have more.


----------



## Andi (Apr 5, 2011)

My list would be equally extensive as SarahÂ´s above me. I am very picky when it comes to both looks and personality - which is why I am so grateful that I managed to find a man that actually exceeded all my expectations and on top of that thinks IÂ´m a godess. So IÂ´m holding onto that one for dear life!!





But if I had to pick my personal top 3 biggest turn offs (lying, cheating, dishonesty and so on are obvious so I wonÂ´t list them)

1. boring personality - a guy who wants to sit at home all the time, wonÂ´t go out with me and canÂ´t laugh at himself every once in a while

2. someone whoÂ´s religious and/or conservative (not necessarily in a political sense) - that would lead to nonstop arguments which I donÂ´t want to deal with

3. someone who doesnÂ´t love animals - cause I NEED a pet in my life at some point lol


----------



## CHaNGiNGFaCESx (Apr 6, 2011)

What turns me off?

Men that wear sandals or flip flops.  It absolutely revolts me and I live at the Jersey Shore, so people do be wearing them, but not the kind of guy I would be into.

Guys with snaggle teeth, I just can't.

Men who wear tight jeans/skinny jeans or even fitted jeans.  I hate that look, sorry I like a man who wears loose fitting jeans. 

Men who do not know how to live life and want a mommy

Guys with long finger nails, friggin gross!

Overweight men

Guys who aren't sarcastic or have no personality

A man that loves heavy metal and all that isn't for me either

Guys who are not affectionate and don't like to hold hands and cuddle in bed

Men who don't compliment me and make me feel beautiful and good about myself, not that I need them to feel good about myself, but it is the worst thing in the world when you actually have a man who makes you feel ugly and says things to you like you're not attractive and then take it back and then say it again, and play all those games

Guys who play mind games and say I love you but have no clue what the meaning of love is

Drug users (been there, done that)

Alcoholics (grew up with one, not into it)

Guys with no job or goals or aspirations

Guys who play the victim with the why me's

Men who act like pussies and I'm more manly then they are

Guys who are SHORTER than me, big no no

Men who don't respect my likes and dislikes and career

Guys who talk badly about Michael Jackson, it makes me soooo mad

and I could go on and on all day but... number 1 thing is MEN WITH BAD EYEBROWS!


----------



## Jesskaa (Apr 6, 2011)

I really hate guys who treat there moms awful. It's the most unattractive thing to me, i just want to end it right than and there.


----------



## llehsal (Apr 6, 2011)

@ ChangingFaces....I love the first line "Men that wear flipflops or sandals"  That made me seriously LOL.  I on the contrary....secretly find flip flops on men sexy...everyone else I know would probably disagree with me....except the friends I have that wear them.  Also the one with disliking Michael Jackson....hahaha...I totally get you...when I genuinely love someone or something and a guy or anyone for that matter constantly bashes them or does not accept my adoration, that totally gets under my skin!!


----------



## Darla (Apr 7, 2011)

sandals or flip-flops seriously?   I will use my vote to outlaw granny panties!


----------



## Kitytize (Apr 7, 2011)

My biggest turn off is not liking cats.


----------



## CHaNGiNGFaCESx (Apr 7, 2011)

> Originally Posted by *Darla* /img/forum/go_quote.gif
> 
> sandals or flip-flops seriously?   I will use my vote to outlaw granny panties!



Yeah, what is so "seriously" about that.  It turns me off, maybe it doesn't bother you, but it bothers me.


----------



## CHaNGiNGFaCESx (Apr 7, 2011)

> Originally Posted by *Kitytize* /img/forum/go_quote.gif
> 
> My biggest turn off is not liking cats.



Hahah, I'm allergic to cats, so when I hear a guy has cats it's like a  big turn off for me, but I know how you feel because I have a maltese and a lot of guys are real jerks about it because it's a "small dog", but he is a sweet pea and he isn't yappy or bark-y or annoying, he is a pet therapy dog and is a sweet angel who's days are filled with cheering sick people who need love up!  He is such a BLESSING!!!  I love him!!  He has his own facebook page (my mother, lol)


----------



## Andi (Apr 8, 2011)

> Originally Posted by *llehsal* /img/forum/go_quote.gif
> 
> @ ChangingFaces....I love the first line "Men that wear flipflops or sandals"  That made me seriously LOL.  I on the contrary....secretly find flip flops on men sexy...everyone else I know would probably disagree with me....except the friends I have that wear them.



I find flip flops on guys sexy as well, but only if they have nice feet. So many guys just donÂ´t seem to care how they their feet look at all, and those kind of feet need to be hidden in closed shoes lol


----------



## CHaNGiNGFaCESx (Apr 8, 2011)

> Originally Posted by *Andi* /img/forum/go_quote.gif
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Oh man, I hate it, but then again, I hate feet as well..especially mens feet, just gross me out, but I can admit if a guy has nice feet or whatever though, cuz my on/off again boyfriend has nice feet but he only wears like adidas slip ons around the house for house shoes with socks on and that's quite enough for me, lol!   i dunno, i always date "bad boy/gangsta" type guys even tho it's sooooooo stupid but anyways, flipflops/sandals would just look really stupid on them as well.  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />


----------



## Darla (Apr 8, 2011)

> Originally Posted by *CHaNGiNGFaCESx* /img/forum/go_quote.gif
> 
> 
> 
> ...


 Well yeah,   but i suppose you do have your standards and if his choice of footware is one of them then I am glad that is working out for you.


----------



## Amber204 (Apr 8, 2011)

Hiking sandals with socks that's what I got hawt!! I think my SO was dressed terribly when we met but he waited for me to get off work and go to my usual spot all day so I over looked the sandals with socks, he knew allot of jokes made me laugh and didn't let my drink hit the bottom of the glass haha!

The first night we met we were both really shy and didn't say much during the game of pool we played with friends, than he came back a few ninghts later and sat with the owner waiting for me to show up and I did, that was that... now I accept the socks and sandals and simply make fun of him allot!


----------



## CHaNGiNGFaCESx (Apr 9, 2011)

> Originally Posted by *Darla* /img/forum/go_quote.gif
> 
> 
> 
> Well yeah,   but i suppose you do have your standards and if his choice of footware is one of them then I am glad that is working out for you.


 Did I hit a cord or something?  Why are you riding my ass about what I said about my personal likes and dislikes, and I said a million after that, and there are other people on here who said their dislikes, but you chose mine to be catty with and say your sarcastic comment?  I guess you wear flipflops/sandals.  Sorry!


----------



## CHaNGiNGFaCESx (Apr 9, 2011)

> Originally Posted by *Amber204* /img/forum/go_quote.gif
> 
> Hiking sandals with socks that's what I got hawt!! I think my SO was dressed terribly when we met but he waited for me to get off work and go to my usual spot all day so I over looked the sandals with socks, he knew allot of jokes made me laugh and didn't let my drink hit the bottom of the glass haha!
> 
> The first night we met we were both really shy and didn't say much during the game of pool we played with friends, than he came back a few ninghts later and sat with the owner waiting for me to show up and I did, that was that... now I accept the socks and sandals and simply make fun of him allot!


 Well, I'm super picky when it comes to the way a guy looks and I just have certain things that I'm really weird with.. the sandals/flip flops is one of them, and I'm not the only one, I like how I'm made to look like I'm a witch or something because of that when a lot of other girls I'm friends with are the same way and throw up if they see a guy in sandals/flip flops, but then I have some friends who actually love men's feet, my friend the other day said she has to see a guys feet like right away because if he doesn't have nice feet she can touch and massage then she doesn't want to be with him.  I wanted to THROW UP and die when she said that cuz I could never imagineeeeeeeeeeeee "dying to see" a mans foot so I could hurry up and massage it, LOL.  But, I realllllly hate feet so... lol.   I'm anally picky and I'm trying to work thru it... recently a guy approached me and he had his rim bent on his hat and that totally set me off because any guy I've been with always wears the rim straight, LOL.  So, to see a bent rim really threw me for a loop and I didn't like it and I kept telling myself, seriously stop being picky, so what if the rim is bent but lol, it wasn't really working.  I'll look for anything to find something wrong with a guy, that's why I always end up back with my on/off again boyfriend, he's really good looking, but a complete jerk most of the time, hopefully one day I'll learn to stop being so petty


----------



## ls820 (Apr 9, 2011)

wow.. filthy men turn me off as well.

But "clean" and "organised" men are questionable at my uni... my good friend had a crush on 3 gorgeous guys throughout our degree, sleek, neat and doing pretty well. Turned out neither of them are into girls. She was pretty pissed off from memory!

Theres a few things that turn me off in a guy, no.1 is sleasiness. I can't stand seeing an overly confident guy trying to pick up every girl he comes in contact with.

no. 2 smoking. I dated a guy a while back who was a smoker, i thought i would've adapted to the smell since my dad and bf were both smokers. yet I developed an aversive effect to it.

no.3 messy guys!!!!


----------



## divadoll (Apr 10, 2011)

I hate liars.  Any liars...men or women.

What turns me of? 

Stupidity, poor hygiene (smelly), weak personality, selfishness, inability to express themselves, laziness and bad provider.

I am a strong personality and my husband is too.  We butt heads at times but we are both intelligent and effective people. I need someone that compliments who I am.  My husband is very knowledgeable in topics to which I have no clue and I fill in his blank spots.


----------



## Darla (Apr 10, 2011)

> Originally Posted by *CHaNGiNGFaCESx* /img/forum/go_quote.gif
> 
> 
> 
> Why are you riding my ass about what I said about my personal likes and dislikes, and I said a million after that, and there are other people on here who said their dislikes, but you chose mine to be catty with and say your sarcastic comment?


Hey lighten up!  The original comment was half-joking.  You don't need to be a drama queen as no one is riding your ass about anything much less your preferences.


----------



## CHaNGiNGFaCESx (Apr 10, 2011)

> Originally Posted by *Darla* /img/forum/go_quote.gif
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Trust me the last thing I want to do is come on some message board and have drama or "be a drama queen"... misunderstanding on both sides, lets just leave it at that.   /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />


----------



## laurelbuddy (Apr 10, 2011)

I could fill a page with things from the past that turn me off. The main one was lack of respect. The ones that made it obvious that  they were only  interested in my body and seeing it naked soonest is a prime example. Sex was ok but only after  getting to know him and some thing about his current  and past personal life. Poor hygeine was of course is high on my list.  Another pet peeve was the lack of  the abilty to converse on the current affiars. And I must add vain self cetered guys didnt get a second date. Very obese guys were not for me to date although passive friendship with them was ok.

The posts here are interesting. It makes me realise the is still hope for the ladies in this amoral world.


----------



## Amber204 (Apr 10, 2011)

You know it's funny though how my tastes have changed from making the same mistakes over and over again I finally learned to stop banging my head against that brick wall. I  was very much like you CF I wanted the tall, dark, ethnic, and handsome bad boy who couldn't be tamed. It never worked no matter how hard I tried and the thing that always hurt the most was seeing them look at another girl on the street or in the club... I guess this is my biggest pet peeve now when I am out with a guy I want his eyes focused on me 110% and why don't I deserve that. Now I love the blonde haired blue eyed guy who loves kids, is smart, funny doesn't take things seriously, has strong morals and determination to be great in life... I dont ever want to have to worry about him when he is out with the guys you know... classy!!  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />


----------



## jodevizes (Apr 10, 2011)

Well llehsol, I went out for a while with a guy like that. He was a press photographer and his excuse was that he did a lot of stakeouts in his car and if it was trashed like that he could hide his cameras around. I didn't believe him though.

I hate cheaters, guys with tattoos. that is a real turn off, scruffy, dumb bigots, religious bigots in fact bigots per see.


----------



## perlanga (Apr 10, 2011)

Guys who

cuss too much

tan

are conceited

have bad breath

wear skinny jeans

are pot heads/or other users

don't have manners

don't dress properly

are aholes

are show offs

don't stand up for themselves

are man whores

lazy

weak physically

weak mentally

mamas boys


----------



## CHaNGiNGFaCESx (Apr 10, 2011)

> Originally Posted by *Amber204* /img/forum/go_quote.gif
> 
> You know it's funny though how my tastes have changed from making the same mistakes over and over again I finally learned to stop banging my head against that brick wall. I  was very much like you CF I wanted the tall, dark, ethnic, and handsome bad boy who couldn't be tamed. It never worked no matter how hard I tried and the thing that always hurt the most was seeing them look at another girl on the street or in the club... I guess this is my biggest pet peeve now when I am out with a guy I want his eyes focused on me 110% and why don't I deserve that. Now I love the blonde haired blue eyed guy who loves kids, is smart, funny doesn't take things seriously, has strong morals and determination to be great in life... I dont ever want to have to worry about him when he is out with the guys you know... classy!!  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />


Omg, you are so funny, you totally described my current on/off boyfriend Vasilio.  He is tall, dark, ethnic (greek/puerto rican), handsome and a bad boy... HOWEVER, I'm tired of his shit.  Tired of waiting for him to turn into this alter ego he claims he wants to be, and that I've seen... and that guy is really great, he's a chef, a barber, loves football, loves to cuddle, etc.. but we wont be doing much of that now being that he is in state prison, it's really pathetic.  I am just like you, or the old you, I keep going for these bad boys, and I allowed them to drag me down for a very long time and in turn I was a "bad girl" (i know that sounded corny but i dont know how else to describe it without getting into personal details, lol).... I really want to change and I really would love to meet a nice guy who ALREADY has a job, his own place, a car..shit a LICENSE, has money in his pockets, etc etc... because every guy I meet and fall into a relationship with, doesn't have any of that, and always "wants" it and I'm trying to help them, etc.  I'm basically being used as their mother instead, and then they do what they want, and take me for granted and then are sorry for it later on.  All of my ex boyfriends still contact me to this day and a lot of us are "friends" on FB... and actually as friends, they are okay, but as boyfriends, horrible.  Right now I haven't talked to or visited my on/off in over 2 weeks and he's wrote 2 letters and he KNOWS I am not beat for him anymore because our last visit did not go well because he is fresh with his mouth and very much a narcissist and negative and ungrateful and it's like enough is enough.  I was sitting there thinking, what the F are you even doing here Kelly?  I drove home in silence and crying because I was so mad at myself for allowing myself to get sucked back into his bullshit and started being with him again because now that I'm doing well in life and have my stuff together, I'm realizing like how much we are different.... but at the same time I feel bad for him and I want to help him and now he tells me b/c of my life and how I've changed he is starting to believe there is a God and wants to know more about God (but that could also be a manipulation tactic with me, b/c I'm a Christian and we had many fights over spiritual beliefs)... so now I feel like should I turn my back on someone who wants to know the Lord?  Should I just be a living testimony and a friend to him?  But, right now I'm not doing anything because I said to myself when loving someone hurts me and I leave feeling empty, then something has to be looked into.  His last letter he said that he knows he was cold hearted to me and that I probably am not going to talk to him anymore and if I need to cut him out of my life in order to make positive changes for myself then he understands, but again, that is all part of his manipulation.. It's like I don't believe anything he says b/c so much has been lies and manipulation!

I'm


----------



## llehsal (Apr 11, 2011)

@perlanga ...LMAO at Tan...hahaha ...I have a (guy) friend who goes for a tan so often it aint funny...and we live in the Caribbean


----------



## perlanga (Apr 11, 2011)

^^^^^LOl, if a guy tans, imo he cares too much about his looks, I want to be the girly high maintenence one in the relationship, I like rough hard working guys that are naturally handsome!


----------



## DamnItNanet (Apr 12, 2011)

hmm my turn-offs would have to be

- when they wax their eyebrow thinner than mine lol

- when they disrespect my traditional salvadoran parents' values and call them old-fashioned because i didn't want to upset them (they're both in their early 50's and have some health issues) by being cooped up in a hotel overnight with you for "alone time" a month into the relationship. I'm worth the wait and no one disrespects my family.

- macho mentality. that BS i don't put up with and i let them know it lol

- if it's ok to be myself around him but not his friends and family

- if he can't open up to me and talk about things, all the details don't matter as long as i know what's going on in their head/heart because i'm always open.

- if he's looking for a Nurse or a Purse like a client of mine told me to avoid lol

- if he's serious all the time. life's too short not to spend some of it smiling

- i don't care if he and his buddies idolize Tucker Max when they're "being guys". just don't let me hear you talk like that. lol or else you'll hear how us girls talk about you and your buddies over martinis. DETAILS

- guys who smoke. anything. i'm asthmatic and pot makes everything smell horribly.

lol there's probably a few more but i'm too much of an optimist to dwell on them  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />


----------



## Stefi85 (Apr 12, 2011)

Wow, there are so many things, but now it comes to my mind this... what about guys who wear white socks when they dress smart? I can't stand them! And also those guys who think they're sooo cool, it's as if they did you a favour in asking you out! I could just leave them there on their own and tell them "if you love yourself so much, why don't you go out with a mirror?"


----------



## CHaNGiNGFaCESx (Apr 13, 2011)

Ha, my on/off again boyfriend will go tanning, take pictures of himself flexing with no shirt on, do his eyebrows, be completely maticulous with his facial hair...  i absolutely hate the flexing with no shirt on, especially when it is his main picture on facebook


----------



## Darla (Apr 14, 2011)

haha all this talk about tanning and posing sounds So Jersey Shore!


----------



## kikikinzz (Apr 14, 2011)

Pompous attitudes always make me want to run in a different direction!!!


----------



## DonnaJ (Apr 14, 2011)

> Originally Posted by *DreamWarrior* /img/forum/go_quote.gif
> 
> 
> 
> ...


 Hey sis, is that you? lol Your husband sounds like my brother in law, although he isn't mechanically inclined. He's a neat freak, so he does most of the housework and laundry and some of the cooking.


----------



## Maris Crane (Apr 15, 2011)

These can apply to both genders (anyone who displays these qualities will annoy me, but it's that much worse when it's a physically attractive or charismatic guy who is like this...) General stupidity. Not watching the news/keeping up on current events. A person who is completely apathetic to world/local affairs, but it is consumed with their looks/image/superficial crap, is not endearing. Atheists who do not know who Richard Dawkins is, or those who don't get my 'Vladimir Putin looks like Blond Bond' comments, are out on their rears. A mouth like a trucker. I don't mind the occasional expletive, but when every other phrase or comment begins or drops the f-bomb, I am annoyed. Facial hair. If I can be bothered to shower, style my hair and put on makeup, you can take the time to shave before. Whatever the occasion. (Barring extenuating circumstances.) Serial monogamists. I'll take the guy who hooked up with anything in a skirt before comitting, over the guy who had never been single between the ages of 14 or 15 and... whatever now is. Facebook/social network addicts. I understand BBs &amp; iPhone makes it easy, but when I'm constantly getting Twitter updates from you on my Facebook feed, that's a problem. Religious. If you were baptised as a baby and never go to Church barring Christmas and Easter, fine. If you go every Sunday or whatever your Sabbath is, and can rattle off Bible verses, we're not compatible. An empty bookshelf. Oy vey... IMO, there should be a good mix - one that is just filled with classics suggests a poseur; one that is just one topic suggests OCD. A mix of modern, classic, science, social issues, pop culture, celebrity memoir/autobiography, and bonus if there are a couple in language(s) other than English makes me weak in the knees. Men with kids or who want a soccer team of kids. I do not like kids, and you'll be lucky to get me to agree to one or two. Anyone who dislikes animals. A fear of animals is one thing, being cruel is quite another. Male hair loss or worse, stupid hair styles. I understand hair loss is something most men can't control, but I am the product of my surroundings - my dad has gorgeous hair, and both G-Pa's died with full-heads of hair. There are enough men with nice hair, that I'm willing to hold out.  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" /> Another physical: men who are too skinny. I'll take the chubby guy with the soft tummy, over the one with the six-pack or an 130-pounder. This might be just a Canadian thing: anyone who bashes French-Canadians and their culture/language based on singular experiences. I have every intention of sending any potential children to Immersion, and if their father is anti-Quebecois based on something silly that happened one time just outside of Quebec City, I can't see that ending well... Gay bashing. Honestly, man-whoring before entering a relationship, smoking (barring habitual pot use; I actually find myself more attracted to smokers despite being a non-smoker myself over non-smokers), bad clothing, I can at least forgive and forget. TBH, I would prefer a man who had had a wild 'player' past and couldn't dress, over a metrosexual who wore a Purity Ring (granted, those are extremes) or a man who had continually been in serious relationships for the last 10 years. When it comes down to it, getting a reformed player to comitt to you seems like more of an accomplishment, or something, than just being Serious Girlfriend #12.


----------



## DreamWarrior (Apr 15, 2011)

LOL! I thought I would be too proud to be with a man who could do housework - but let me tell you - I AM LOVING IT!  So, I want to give a HUGE shout out to all the Mr. Mom's and Neat Freaks of the world who make our days just that much better!



> Originally Posted by *DonnaJ* /img/forum/go_quote.gif
> Hey sis, is that you? lol Your husband sounds like my brother in law, although he isn't mechanically inclined. He's a neat freak, so he does most of the housework and laundry and some of the cooking.


----------



## CHaNGiNGFaCESx (Apr 15, 2011)

Well, Darla, I am from the Jersey Shore, I'm about 15 mins north of Seaside in the same exact type of town w/boardwalk, rides, beach, etc.   LOL.  I never thought I was Jersey though b/c I hate Jersey and I lived in NY for a long time, so I would always say, no I'm not like a typical Jersey person bc I don't act like them.... to be honest with you, people from around the Jersey Shore do NOT act like people on the show for the most part, people around here are like very preppy/surfer, I have always stood out here, lol.  Now it's cool all the sudden and people always call me JWoww, lol, I'm like whatever!!  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

And that is definitely a first Maris, that I read someone who is turned off by someone who loves the Lord and quotes Bible scripture.  I'm actually quite the opposite, I am a born again Christian and I can not date another guy who is a non believer because it just never works out.  I would love to meet a nice Christian boy however, they are usually kinda dorky, but who knows!


----------



## Amber204 (Apr 15, 2011)

I got a new one I thought of recently that may make me a bit hickish, I really don't like the designer guys who wear Lacoste of Vouis Vuitton bags, pink and purple shirts, etc. I mean its great for girls but I think guys it just looks like you are trying to hard and can actually make them look rather feminine. But then we have the one's that can't dress at all and you can tell they have been wearing the same bleached stained shirt for 10 years, or found some ugly pants that don't fit in the bargain barrel.. What can I say I am a simple kinda girl who wants a guy that can fill blue jeans and a white t shirt nicely!!


----------



## Dragonfly (Apr 15, 2011)

Hey, Darla's from Jersey too...small world.

He told me a lot about the shore - and he hates the stereotypes of the show also.


----------



## MakeupByMe (Apr 16, 2011)

Im simple, Just be a *Man * Dont Lie n Dont cheat , &amp; dont be a Punk If im more of a man than you......we got a problem


----------



## imonabhaute (Apr 16, 2011)

My family isn't religious on either side and basically follows the golden rule of treating like you'd like to be treated.  I'd also say that spouting off religious stuff is a major turn off.  It's creepy and I know more religious spouting people who have screwed me or others over than I'd like to, so eww it is.

I personally am not religious, don't ever want children and don't want a marriage (long term exclusive committed relationship is great, but no legal marriage).  Those are my inflexibles, I want someone who is the same on those, and I'm still figuring out the rest.


----------



## Maris Crane (Apr 16, 2011)

> *My family isn't religious on either side and basically follows the golden rule of treating like you'd like to be treated.*  I'd also say that spouting off religious stuff is a major turn off.  It's creepy and I know more religious spouting people who have screwed me or others over than I'd like to, so eww it is.
> 
> I personally am not religious, don't ever want children and don't want a marriage (long term exclusive committed relationship is great, but no legal marriage).  Those are my inflexibles, I want someone who is the same on those, and I'm still figuring out the rest.


 This sounds like me, though I can definately see marriage - civil - if I find the one. I want any potential children to feel that everyone is equal, treat everyone with equal dignity and respect, and to realize that they are strong individuals. I do not believe a child or person, for that matter, needs faith or a belief in God to be a 'whole' person. And given the way some mainstream faiths run themselves, I'm rather uninterested in raising any children in that environment. Barring children, religious people do bother me after awhile. I have no interest in theology, or debating if the earth is reall only 6000 years old and if evolution is real. I am generalizing based on the absolute worst of stereotypes, but I have no real belief in God, though I am open to the possibility, and... not to toot my own horn, but I think I turned out okay.


----------



## Darla (Apr 16, 2011)

I don't think there is anything wrong with people being religious or more generally spiritual.  I just have a huge problem when people try to impose their beliefs on others and think that only they can be correct.


----------



## Darla (Apr 17, 2011)

for those that don't have a clue here is a guide





I think there's actually a series of these out:   How to spot a Playa......   How to spot a Dirtbag .........


----------



## AndreaRenee (Apr 17, 2011)

Low confidence, no motivation, dependence, arrogance, selfishness, carelessness, laziness, bad hygiene, passive, passive-aggressive, pretty boys, liars.

I could go on and on.

My ex was careless, lazy, had bad hygiene, was passive-aggressive, selfish, had no motivation and a liar.

My boyfriend is the sweetest, most honest, most caring guy ever, but he has no motivation or confidence, is passive and kind of weak mentally.

I'm trying to help him out but I wish I didn't have to! Girlfriend/mother role sucks. =(


----------



## Dragonfly (Apr 17, 2011)

Darla, I'd like to see the playa and dirt bag boys, if you can find them.


----------



## CHaNGiNGFaCESx (Apr 18, 2011)

Ha, didn't know loving the Lord and being a Christian was such a turn off for people.  I hope my love for Jesus turns men off so much they leave me alone and never talk to me again because I would never compromise my beliefs to date someone.  Jesus who died for my sins vs. some guy who just wants to get in my pants.. hmm.. I'll take Jesus!   /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />   /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

PS- where are you finding these "religious" men?  I'd love to find a guy who loves the Lord and shares my faith, but I never have any luck, and then any guy who does love the Lord is either like really crazy or just nerdy, from my past experiences in dating.  I know the Lord will eventually place the right man in my path, but sometimes I feel like it will be impossible to find a man I'm attracted to that is also a Christian.


----------



## Andi (Apr 18, 2011)

> Originally Posted by *CHaNGiNGFaCESx* /img/forum/go_quote.gif
> 
> Ha, didn't know loving the Lord and being a Christian was such a turn off for people.  I hope my love for Jesus turns men off so much they leave me alone and never talk to me again because I would never compromise my beliefs to date someone.  Jesus who died for my sins vs. some guy who just wants to get in my pants.. hmm.. I'll take Jesus!   /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />   /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />
> 
> PS- where are you finding these "religious" men?  I'd love to find a guy who loves the Lord and shares my faith, but I never have any luck, and then any guy who does love the Lord is either like really crazy or just nerdy, from my past experiences in dating.  I know the Lord will eventually place the right man in my path, but sometimes I feel like it will be impossible to find a man I'm attracted to that is also a Christian.


 well for me itÂ´s a turn-off because it would be a conflict of interests to date someone religious - IÂ´m a passionate atheist. I think most people want to have as many common grounds as possible with their partner, because vastly different opinions on touchy subjects such as as religion, politics, morals etc can lead to countless arguments.

I know in my country it would be hard to find religious men, because we have tons of what I call "Sunday-Catholics" (meaning theyÂ´re only "religious" when they go to sundayÂ´s church service, the rest of the time they seem to be only spiritual and donÂ´t really follow their religionÂ´s rules).

But donÂ´t they have singles mixers at many churches in the US? I think that would be a good way to find men who share your beliefs, but of course they have to be a match on other levels as well. And I believe I read about an online dating service for Christians once?


----------



## llehsal (Apr 18, 2011)

Luv it Darla!


----------



## Darla (Apr 18, 2011)

> Originally Posted by *llehsal* /img/forum/go_quote.gif
> 
> Luv it Darla!


 Thanks and this is just too easy.   Here is a good photo of a dirtbag





(seriously it came up when i googled the term)


----------



## llehsal (Apr 18, 2011)

LMAO!!!!


----------



## bamboogirls (May 2, 2011)

> Originally Posted by *CHaNGiNGFaCESx* /img/forum/go_quote.gif
> 
> 
> 
> Did I hit a cord or something?  Why are you riding my ass about what I said about my personal likes and dislikes, and I said a million after that, and there are other people on here who said their dislikes, but you chose mine to be catty with and say your sarcastic comment?  I guess you wear flipflops/sandals.  Sorry!


I don't really think her comments make for riding your ass. I truly think that she was trying to conversate while pointing out that her opinion varies whereas all i am seeing from you is things about sandals. I get it though. I used to hate men wearing sandals, now, I am married to a man who hates wearing shoes because he sweats and it STINKS if he wears closed shoes for more than 20 min. But he also has nice feet. But yeah, I don't think she was trying to be a witch here. I think she was trying to joke and then to apologize for offending you. there were only two comments, one that didnt warrant a response and then a response to your response. Just saying, i hope i do not come of mean. I do not intend to.  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />


----------



## bamboogirls (May 2, 2011)

I think I am one of those girls who doesn't have specific turn offs. I've dated so many vastly different people that I can't say that any one thing is 100% a deal breaker and my husband, quite frankly is not the man I would go for if I saw him out and about. And before this confuses you to grandly, I met my husband on myspace, he was promoting a party to me and my mom told me not to speak to him because he was 8-9 yrs older than me and had a pot leaf on his page. So i spoke to him and when i saw him in person, I was SOOOOOOO blown away by ....by everything...his smell, his face, his body, his clothes, his voice, his presence....literally EVERYTHING, that I couldn't even look at him. I looked at his friend and talked to his friend the entire time. In my defense, I was looking to hook up with someone easy because I had just had a baby conceived out of assualt and was recovering from anorexia so I really wasn't expecting a GOD to show up on my door step and smile at me like I was the hottest thing that hit the earth since fire.  He wear flip flops most the time, he has gross habits, is too smart for his own damned good, kind of lazy and a little arrogant about said intelligence but he is unbelieveably talented and although he tries to say he is a dark, bad person, he is the most genuinely compassionate person I have ever met and he doesn't let anything or anyone stop him from being that way. Needless to say, I love him, more everyday. Did I mention he effin gorgeous? lol      I guess a turn off for me would be blonde hair, blue eyes, overly muscled, short, hairy and yet guys with no hair, drinks and parties a lot, womanizing, no intelligence, humor or talent. If you are too serious about any one thing, i think you suck the fun out of living. You suck life out of life and yet I think the same holds true for the other way around. I don't like people who truly can't spell, not people who have typos or use bad grammar in chat rooms. I don't like mean people or close minded people. And I don't date jesus fanatics. I have several severly christian friends and that is ok, i love them, but i hate when they preach to me or everything they do revolves around jesus. and violent people. i believe nothing warrants violence, no matter your reasoning, but thats JMO. But like i said, i can't say any of these things 100%. If you can do better than my husband then you can pretty much gaurantee you have got me for life and after 4 yrs,  i havent found a soul that comes close to doing for me what he does.  We just bond in a way that transcend explanation or normal categories of life (by this i mean, religions and morals and such....) Its like we truly are 2 halves of the same whole and in the end, that is really what does it for me. Not all the tedious little standards.


----------



## imonabhaute (May 2, 2011)

> Originally Posted by *CHaNGiNGFaCESx* /img/forum/go_quote.gif
> 
> Ha, didn't know loving the Lord and being a Christian was such a turn off for people.  I hope my love for Jesus turns men off so much they leave me alone and never talk to me again because I would never compromise my beliefs to date someone.  Jesus who died for my sins vs. some guy who just wants to get in my pants.. hmm.. I'll take Jesus!   /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />   /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />
> 
> PS- where are you finding these "religious" men?  I'd love to find a guy who loves the Lord and shares my faith, but I never have any luck, and then any guy who does love the Lord is either like really crazy or just nerdy, from my past experiences in dating.  I know the Lord will eventually place the right man in my path, but sometimes I feel like it will be impossible to find a man I'm attracted to that is also a Christian.


I don't know if I was one of the people you were talking about, Andi, Maris, whoever.  I have had very damaging things done to me by people who would say they are doing it for religious reasons(so they believed/stated).  A lot of atheists and agnostics have very valid reasons why they believe what they do; I'm atheist because if I simplify things, I just don't buy "it".  I find religious exuberance a turn off because of my negative associations with people I've interacted personally.  That's just me.

I thought that this thread is not about what you find acceptable behavior for people, but rather it was about what got you hot and what so does not.


----------



## Maris Crane (May 2, 2011)

> .
> 
> Â
> 
> I thought that this thread is not about what you find acceptable behavior for people, but rather it was about what got you hot and what so does not.


 This. I don't know if it's the religious factor that's getting people's backs up, but I have yet to have anyone ask me to justify why I don't find myself (generally) attracted to blonde men, non-smokers, serial monogamists or very slender men. I'm not interested in theology (generally speaking), I don't plan on raising my kids in any faith. Why would is it any wonder I'm turned off by religious men? IMO, a lack of attraction to evangelical types (quickest way to kill any interest...) is no different to a lack of attraction to blonds. Anywho, I probably should quantify it, while agnostic and casual atheists* are my preference: Yom Kippur Jews, Easter/Cradle/C&amp;E Catholics, Cradle Lutherans/Anglicans/Presbyterians/Orthodox Christians, and whatever the Buddhist or Confucianist (sp?) equivalents are: fine. Pentecostal/Evangelical/Born Again Christians that throw Purity Balls? No way in hell. (Pardon the pun.) *I do not want to debate whether God exists with my beloved. While there are lots of Christian crazies out there, radical atheists are just as bad and if not as much of a turn-off.


----------



## CHaNGiNGFaCESx (May 3, 2011)

> Originally Posted by *Andi* /img/forum/go_quote.gif
> 
> 
> 
> ...



Well, I'm not one for going on dating websites anymore.  I'm way too busy to be bothered with it and I went on them before and found nut bag losers on there, so really turned me off, the ones who say they are Christian ended up being the craziest.  One time I ended up meeting this really good looking Christian guy who even had the "look" of what I like, which is tall/dark &amp; handsome, hahaha.. I say that jokingly about the tall/dark &amp; handsome, but I do like a man taller than me and preferably at least taller then me in heels so I could be able to wear heels and not look stupid.. also I like men of italian, greek or spanish descent.. so there goes the dark... and of course handsome.. but i realize the better looking, the bigger the jerk... hahaha... BUT ANYWAYS I met the guy who had all those qualities, plus he even went to my church, lived local, liked the same music, I mean everything... but then I slowly started to realize why such a great catch was single?  He was the king of head games and weirdness...  plus when I was on dating websites, I would get messaged EVERYDAY from older men like in their 50's thinking they are young and good looking and would say "wellll i know im a little past your age range but i figured i would message anyway"  umm what part of of 29-34 did you NOT get?  basically, i would get a lot of responses but from people i wasnt into and then God forbid you dont respond you either get hate mail saying "what?? u think you too good for me you cant respond?"  or "you arent that pretty anyway so i dont even care if respond at this point, you missed your chance"  .. like, really?  shut up!  I got to the point where I would actually get ANNOYED when I would sign on when I saw I had messages because I knew it would be some bullshit or some guy from africa sending me a chain letter of marriage proposal he has sent to 100 other girls or some weirdo from turkey with another chain letter poem about my beauty that he has sent to 100 other girls.. hahahahha... i used to try to just keep it "just in case" cuz i thought oh wow what if my soul mate or something was on there?  well.. God knows my tolerance and my annoyance level so if my soul mate is even such a thing, he prob aint gonna find me thru a website at this point.. 

and as far as singlers mixers?  been there, done that.. just not my scene either... nothing seems to be my scene except my house with my mom and puppy, haha


----------



## Ashley726 (May 4, 2011)

Definately the biggest turn off for me is dirty/long finger or toenails... grossest thing ever.


----------



## montes22 (Jun 17, 2011)

bad hygiene

bad teeth lol

smoker/alcoholic

don't dress for the proper occasion

no style

not goal oriented

lazy


----------

