# Dating a virgin



## fiji (Sep 24, 2006)

I just started to date this guy who is 28. He's super nice and we are getting along. I have not been in any way suggestive until now because I weally wanted him to like me for me, and not to get laid. So on the phone last night, he told me he's a virgin and I don't know what to do. I like him and am not ready to jump into bed anyway right now, but if things keep going the way they are, Im gonna want to have sex. Does anyone have any words of wisdom here? As it is, its been 2 years for me, so I don't want to wait that much longer, but I really like this guy.

He said he's a virgin cuz he hasn't found the right girl yet.


----------



## macuphead (Sep 24, 2006)

wow... thats rough.... for me that would be the '...its not you its me....lets just be friends' bit. haha. but then again i am a sex-a-holic. you better make sure that he isnt wanting to wait until marriage. i would say its defenatly something you need to be very open about. tell him that you respect his decision and dont want to pressure him into it but you do have sexual needs and are going to want to share yourself ...intimatly or some shit, at some point. ask him that if things go well between the two of you, how long he will feel that he needs to wait until he is ready. i dont know man, thats so rough! i could never be with a virgin, its horrible but i would want to sit on his face the minute i found that out... then i would probablly feel guilty and dump him and scar him for life. lets hope that never happens! let us know how it goes. and seriously, you NEED to talk about it. and you dont need to pretend to be mrs virgin mary just because he is, there is nothing wrong with having sexual needs.... ROUGH!!!!


----------



## sadhunni (Sep 24, 2006)

i know a guy that likes to tell girls that he's a virgin. he says girls would be surprised and for some reason want to have sex w/ him. anyway, he was a jerk. thank god i wasnt one of those girls. i hope the you u like isn't lying. i'm not trying to get u disappointed here. just careful cuz there are liars out there.


----------



## WhitneyF (Sep 24, 2006)

If he's really telling the truth, I think it's great that he's still a virgin.

I hope the relationship works out and that y'all can find a happy medium.


----------



## VenusGoddess (Sep 24, 2006)

I agree...I've known a few guys who told me they were virgins...I only, really, believed one of them. But, if you think he's being straigh-forward with you...that's awesome!!

There is nothing better than getting a virgin...then YOU train them and you don't have to worry about all of those "bad habits". LOL


----------



## blueangel1023 (Sep 24, 2006)

Hmmm...he's 28 and still a virgin? That is really RARE this day in age! I remember someone I dated 2 yrs ago for about 8 months...he was 19 at the time and I was 20. The whole time he lied to me about being a virgin. Needless to say, I found out he wasn't...lol, cuz he certainly didn't act like no virgin in bed! Just recently, one of my former coworkers has a crush on me who wants to get serious, and he straight out told me he was a virgin...now I'm slightly cautious as to whether believe him or not. He is 2 yrs younger than me, but sometimes you have to weigh out the options on whether you really want to be with this guy for awhile or not.

For me I guess it's a tough choice being that I never been with a virgin guy...lol, this would be new to me. Secondly, if things don't work out...he'll be crushed, since virgins don't take rejections very lightly but instead take things to the heart. Basically dumping them would lead to devastation. Basically you're almost in the same boat as I am...lol, except I don't think mine is going anywhere really since I tend to stray away from the guys who still hold onto their V cards. But who knows, maybe sooner or later I'll give in.

Anywho, talk to him and let him know how you feel. Perhaps both of you could sort of work things out. If he wants you to take his cherry, I say go for it girl. Give him the ride of his life! lol, easier said than done ofc, but good luck to ya!


----------



## AngelaGM (Sep 24, 2006)

That is so touching if he really is a virgin. BUT make sure he has not lost his virginity because he is gay. You never know!


----------



## janetsbreeze (Sep 24, 2006)

i think that him being a virgin is a wonderful thing if that is his choice. just like i would think it is a wonderful thing if that was your choice, or mine or anyone's.

all i can tell you is to be completely open and honest about this part of your feelings and desires. perhaps he is waiting for ms. right and maybe you are her. maybe not. will you be able to handle the rejection if he decides you aren't? will he be able to handle an ultimatum about sex if it comes down to it?

all these things you need to think about and unfortunately it does have to be you thinking of them. you have crossed that boundary (i'm assuming) and he hasn't.


----------



## CuTeLiCiOuS (Sep 24, 2006)

Aww thats very sweet. Just hang in there, you know talk it out with him. Both of you are adults and when the time is right it wil happean.


----------



## empericalbeauty (Sep 24, 2006)

Seems like he is giving your game. "..he hasnt found the right girl yet" = You? Thats one of the oldest tricks in the MANBOOK. Then again, I am somewhat cynical. You should let your gaurd up and not jump into the sac with him. Get to know the REAL him because chances are when he doesnt get it for a while or if your keep a sexual distance from him[that is, you dont make any advances] he will probably get frustrated and turn into that whiny jerk who demands sex from you.


----------



## girl_geek (Sep 24, 2006)

Well, I don't have much advice to give, other than to just say that yes, there are some guys who are still virgins! Hubby and I were both virgins until our wedding night



However, he always said he was waiting for marriage, not just for "the right girl" ... so I don't know what to think of that! If your guy is telling the truth, then maybe he just has really high standards for women, or maybe he's shy and hasn't dated many girls, who knows! I guess all you can do is just talk about it some more and then see what happens!


----------



## KristieTX (Sep 25, 2006)

That's tough, first whether to believe him or not, and second, how to deal with not getting any if he doesn't want to have sex. That would be really hard for me personally as I'd probably just be jumping his bones. LOL


----------



## sm91396 (Sep 25, 2006)

wow, people on here are cynical, huh? I can't say whether he is or isn't, I personally like to think people wouldn't lie about that sort of thing. I was a virgin until I was twenty so I fully understand. There is absolutely nothing wrong with waiting. It's just rare in this day and age that people do. And people will say- why did he wait so long? Well,It could be a religious thing, or it could be the simple fact that he waited- and then maybe he felt embarrassed to try and do it for the first time. If he's telling the truth, then it was a pretty big thing for him to share with you, I would think. Especially since young guys are always encouraged to be "studs". Yay for him. And possibly yay for you- you might get to school him so to speak. LOL!


----------



## Annia (Sep 25, 2006)

My boyfriend was a virgin until 26.. so I don't think the idea is impossible. But I also do know there are some guys who lie about it and if a guy is lying about it-it will eventually come out and you'll know the truth by any means or sources of info.

All the girls here gave tons of ideas that were good and all different.


----------



## Retro-Violet (Sep 25, 2006)

the oldest person i know who was a virgin before he lost it was 25. i think its because he's a metro sexual type guy, so most girls assume he's gay (i thought so at first too).


----------



## dixiewolf (Sep 25, 2006)

I have dated virgins, two of which I deflowered



. One was in college, I was 21, he was 18, the other was 22, I think I was 23, I met him at an old job. And I cant complain about the experience.



I actually would prefer to date a virgin, you dont have to worry about past girls, etc. It really was no different than dating a guy with experience. I was almost 20 when I was no longer a virgin so I never thought them being one was strange. I went on a date with a 24 year old virgin, but he was kind of weird so we never had a relationship. My boyfriend now has only had 3 partners including me, and he is 34, he just had a lot of schooling and didnt date. I dont think there is anything wrong with dating a virgin, it was cool to me to be the first.


----------



## Elisabeth (Sep 26, 2006)

Originally Posted by *dixiewolf* /img/forum/go_quote.gif I have dated virgins, two of which I deflowered



. One was in college, I was 21, he was 18, the other was 22, I think I was 23, I met him at an old job. And I cant complain about the experience.



I actually would prefer to date a virgin, you dont have to worry about past girls, etc. It really was no different than dating a guy with experience. I was almost 20 when I was no longer a virgin so I never thought them being one was strange. I went on a date with a 24 year old virgin, but he was kind of weird so we never had a relationship. My boyfriend now has only had 3 partners including me, and he is 34, he just had a lot of schooling and didnt date. I dont think there is anything wrong with dating a virgin, it was cool to me to be the first. I think you should come out to Vegas with us, Amanda.


----------



## Eva121 (Sep 26, 2006)

Originally Posted by *sm91396* /img/forum/go_quote.gif wow, people on here are cynical, huh? I can't say whether he is or isn't, I personally like to think people wouldn't lie about that sort of thing. I agree!I don't get the problem, he's just a normal guy who just happens to be a virgin... How would you feel if some guy dumped you cuz you're a virgin? If the reason is that he's waiting for the right girl, well that's great!

Just talk about it and tell him you can wait. (if you can



)


----------



## NYchic (Oct 4, 2006)

Wow a 28 year old guy and still a virgin? If he isn't lying then I really RESPECT him!

But to be honest, I wouldn't want to be with a guy virgin because I would want someone who knows what they are doing lol. That doesn't mean I want some guy who slept wiht like 100s of girls but at least know what they are doing. I mean it could get quite er embarrassing.......... LOL


----------



## `__babyboo (Oct 14, 2006)

wow if he realli is a virgin, then props to him. but if hes lying den =O !!


----------



## Andi (Oct 14, 2006)

I couldnÂ´t do that. As a teenager I always said IÂ´d never loose my virginity to a guy whoÂ´s a virging himself..well exactly that did happen a few years later. It was a dissappointment the whole time, we never got comfortable with each other and overcome our shyness.

And if he wants to stay a virgin till marriage...then IÂ´d run personally LOL


----------



## Aquilah (Oct 15, 2006)

Well, if he's honestly a virgin because he hasn't found the right girl yet, only time will tell if you're her. If you're not ready, then don't feel pressured into having sex either. However, whenever you are ready, then maybe you two should have a talk about it. Believe it or not, John and I did that before we had sex. Not that either of us were virgins, we just wanted to make sure the time was right.


----------



## jdepp_84 (Oct 16, 2006)

Well, if I really liked the guy I would just wait. Once you feel comfortable enought ask him what he thinks about having sex with you. Don't push yourself on him either, just ask him if he sees anything in the future.

Originally Posted by *Andi* /img/forum/go_quote.gif I couldnÂ´t do that. As a teenager I always said IÂ´d never loose my virginity to a guy whoÂ´s a virging himself..well exactly that did happen a few years later. It was a dissappointment the whole time, we never got comfortable with each other and overcome our shyness.
And if he wants to stay a virgin till marriage...then IÂ´d run personally LOL

HEhe, this last part is funny LOL id do the same


----------



## enyadoresme (Jan 14, 2007)

Originally Posted by *AngelaGM* /img/forum/go_quote.gif That is so touching if he really is a virgin. BUT make sure he has not lost his virginity because he is gay. You never know!


----------



## pinksugar (Jan 24, 2007)

haha, this post is awesome. I have dated 5 guys, 3 of whom were virgins. Now, I know a lot of girls on this board might seem cynical but let me tell you, after 3 of them, I have some experience in this area, and I am definately hardcore cynical! I swear to god I would NEVER date a virgin again. (which is what I always say until i get really attached and then feel like, well, I'm not dumping him just because he's never had sex!)

It's not the experience that is bad, most guys learn pretty quick so its not like they're crap in bed. What the problem for ME was that they'd date you for a year, and then tell you that they'd only 'been with you' and that they wanted to get out there and experience other people and stuff. And while I completely understood, I'd just wasted a year and a half training the boy up for no reason.

SO, I say, go with your instinct. If you like him and get along well, then go for it, and take pleasure in knowing your'e the first. BUT! be cautious because it's never intentional that people want more experience, neither is it supposed to be hurtful. I felt like that at the end of my first relationship and I guess everyone does to some degree, whether you act on it depends on the strength of your attachment.

Plus, harsh though it is, i remember the last virgin I was with, who was like "i just don't know if I'm ready" and so on, and I felt like the biggest guy, saying "you know I love you, right?" and all that stuff in order to get him into bed. It seriously killed the mood, and it killed the mood that he was never the aggressor because I was the 'experienced one'

A lot really depends on this guy's personality, so only you will know truly how you feel about his 'virgin' status!



good luck!


----------



## jessiej78 (Feb 1, 2007)

It IS possible the guy is gay...but I think it is cool to find someone that is a virgin- you don't find that often.


----------



## Ricci (Mar 14, 2007)

Ok heres is my 'Im a virgin" horror story

I also met a man that is a virgin

We dated and finailly when the moment comes I find out he barely has a penis, I mean it was just a lil stub!!

Just a warning!


----------



## Aprill (Mar 14, 2007)

Originally Posted by *Battygurl* /img/forum/go_quote.gif Ok heres is my 'Im a virgin" horror storyI also met a man that is a virgin

We dated and finailly when the moment comes I find out he barely has a penis, I mean it was just a lil stub!!

Just a warning!


----------



## Ricci (Mar 14, 2007)

Ouch is right lol

dont ask what I did after lol!

Originally Posted by *Aprill849* /img/forum/go_quote.gif


----------



## Aprill (Mar 14, 2007)

Originally Posted by *Battygurl* /img/forum/go_quote.gif Ouch is right loldont ask what I did after lol!

now see, you shouldnt have said that, now you have to tell me


----------



## Ricci (Mar 14, 2007)

Ill pm ya lol

Originally Posted by *Aprill849* /img/forum/go_quote.gif now see, you shouldnt have said that, now you have to tell me


----------



## ms_sunlight (Mar 18, 2007)

Originally Posted by *empericalbeauty* /img/forum/go_quote.gif Seems like he is giving your game. "..he hasnt found the right girl yet" = You? Thats one of the oldest tricks in the MANBOOK. Then again, I am somewhat cynical. You should let your gaurd up and not jump into the sac with him. Get to know the REAL him because chances are when he doesnt get it for a while or if your keep a sexual distance from him[that is, you dont make any advances] he will probably get frustrated and turn into that whiny jerk who demands sex from you. Could be he's playing... could be that he's never been any good at getting with women and "I haven't found the right girl yet" is his way of trying to retain a little pride. Either way, it doesn't matter, as long as you don't go to bed with him until you feel the time's right for you, whenever that may be.


----------



## MindySue (Mar 21, 2007)

I honestly don't know why people wouldnt want a virgin. Who wants to be with someone whos already slept with others? To me it makes it less special, and honestly I don't want to have to compete with others..or know my man was in this exact same position so to speak with other girls not that long ago..ugh. But im not just in it for "sex" as most people seem to be. If the guy I liked was a virgin and wanted to wait, I think id set my "sexual needs" aside and wait. He'd be worth it. But obviously not everyone thinks like that, im just glad to have someone that feels the same way I do. (and is a guy..lol)

Oh and, if he's a virgin it means he really didn't just sleep with any girl he dated, he waits for the RIGHT one..which makes it that much more special. i know thats what peopel do when they get into relationships, but honestly, id never have sex with a guy i didnt think i could spend my life with. who wants a guy that does every girl he's ever dated just because he can, and he knew he didnt even really love her!


----------

