# My boyfriend just enlisted in the army..



## 4getmeNot (Aug 26, 2006)

i've been with my boyfriend for awhile..he just graduated from hs this summer and now he just signed up for the army and he is leaving in 2 wks for basic training. i am sad, scared, and kinda angry..but this is what he has always wanted to do with his life so i'm trying to support him. i am still in highschool, and we're going to be in totally different worlds. i feel like we're going to drift apart. i guess i'm just needing to vent or needing advice..i'm really confused.


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## han (Aug 27, 2006)

i went through the same thing when my husband joined the navy it isnt easy and alot of times military couples do grow apart cause of all the time they spend apart divorce rate in the military is high im not trying to make matters worse but im being honest me and my husband did great untill he joined and we almost didnt make it but we did and he got out cause thats not the life we wanted i encourage him to join but soon realize it was a mistake looking at all the other military couples and the cheating it was unreal i no longer have respect for military people im not saying its all bad but for us it out weighed the good but alot of couples do good so if its meant to be it will work out for you to and the feelings you have are normal i went through the same thing when he frist joined and every time he would leave for underways and deployment i even rebel cause he was gone more than he was home and i was like wtf try not to worry though focus on your self and school right now and what your gonna do when you graduate and if you two are meant to be you will find your way back to each other


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## macuphead (Aug 27, 2006)

aww i am so sorry



my boyfriend has kind of been throwing the idea out there and at first i FREAKED out and said it was out of the question etc. but i dont think hes really going to do it, but i have been trying to be very supportive and it is his life, i just hope that he finds a way to include me in it if he does decide to go that route. i hope things work out for you two.


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## Harlot (Aug 27, 2006)

The divorce rate for military couples high? I thought it was the other way around



oh well. It nice that your actually supporting rather than throw a chick fit. Well, if things are strong between you two hopefully everything will be alright. Im sure you guys are going to keep in touch with stuff like letters, emails and phone calls. It wont be the same but its something. Get prepared for lots of worrying though



Alot of my friends are in the army and such and although I try to persuade them to stay here they insist. Something about making something of themselves....I wish you the best .



and just have faith...PLENTY of faith


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## KristieTX (Aug 28, 2006)

My sister's husband just joined the Navy, in fact he is in boot camp right now and she is having a hell of a time coping with him being gone. I wish you the best of luck and I hope things work out for the better.


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## han (Aug 28, 2006)

Originally Posted by *Harlot* /img/forum/go_quote.gif The divorce rate for military couples high? I thought it was the other way around



oh well. It nice that your actually supporting rather than throw a chick fit. Well, if things are strong between you two hopefully everything will be alright. Im sure you guys are going to keep in touch with stuff like letters, emails and phone calls. It wont be the same but its something. Get prepared for lots of worrying though



Alot of my friends are in the army and such and although I try to persuade them to stay here they insist. Something about making something of themselves....I wish you the best .



and just have faith...PLENTY of faith



yes divorce rate is high in the military exspecially navy i read it in the navy paper when we were in hawaii i was like wtf and we live in houseing and the drama was unreal guys cheating and the women too i totally was clueless i was like i hope we dont become statistics like them my husband got out and we came home


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## Aquilah (Aug 28, 2006)

Kristen, it can be hard to deal with having a significant other who is in the Military. I remember watching my mom and how she dealt with my stepfather always being deployed overseas. I'm glad you're supporting him rather than trying to get him to NOT do what he feels is right. I'm sure you won't drift apart if you have a strong and solid relationship. You'll still be able to write and call one another, and I'm sure he'll have access to e-mail as well. It'll be hardest with him in boot camp and overseas. I wish you the very best sweetie, but I'm sure you two will continue to have a wonderful relationship! We're here for you!


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## BrooklynMimi (Aug 30, 2006)

Originally Posted by *Harlot* /img/forum/go_quote.gif The divorce rate for military couples high? I thought it was the other way around



oh well. It nice that your actually supporting rather than throw a chick fit. Well, if things are strong between you two hopefully everything will be alright. Im sure you guys are going to keep in touch with stuff like letters, emails and phone calls. It wont be the same but its something. Get prepared for lots of worrying though



Alot of my friends are in the army and such and although I try to persuade them to stay here they insist. Something about making something of themselves....I wish you the best .



and just have faith...PLENTY of faith



yup- it's so high the Department of Defense decided to take action and are doing mandantory worksops in lots of places.Both my SO and I have been/are military. Many of the divorces I've seen were from cheating, stress from separation (many stay-at-home wives I've seen have had more than 2 children- and that's like being a single parent). Another sad fact is the military can be such a lonely lifestyle for some people, I think they just get married to combat lonliness.

(these are just opinions from what I have seen)

Kam- while he is in boot camp and AIT you can use that time to write how you feel. (There will be alot of writing in boot camp since the phone use is VERY limited)

When he goes to AIT to train for his job you may be able to visit depending on how far away it is- but more than likely they will loosen up on the restrictions if he is doing well and following the rules.

Time will tell what decision you have to make. I know you are tird of hearing this, but you're young and have your whole life ahead of you.

He may be sent to Iraq, Korea, Germany, Italy or perhaps just stay in the states where you can visit or move to IF that is a good idea.

Don't just pick up and move for him unless you are absolutely sure it's what YOU want and always have a back-up plan.

Say for instance he gets stationed in NC at ft bragg. You move there to go to school or whatever and to be with him.

Six months later he is deployed overseas. Now you are away from home or wherever you planned to do with yourself after school. This is just one possibility.

Sorry if this went on to long. I hope you figure something out and can feel good about it. ((Hugs))


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## Jennifer (Aug 30, 2006)

Originally Posted by *BrooklynMimi* /img/forum/go_quote.gif yup- it's so high the Department of Defense decided to take action and are doing mandantory worksops in lots of places.Both my SO and I have been/are military. Many of the divorces I've seen were from cheating, stress from separation (many stay-at-home wives I've seen have had more than 2 children- and that's like being a single parent). Another sad fact is the military can be such a lonely lifestyle for some people, I think they just get married to combat lonliness.

(these are just opinions from what I have seen)

Kam- while he is in boot camp and AIT you can use that time to write how you feel. (There will be alot of writing in boot camp since the phone use is VERY limited)

When he goes to AIT to train for his job you may be able to visit depending on how far away it is- but more than likely they will loosen up on the restrictions if he is doing well and following the rules.

Time will tell what decision you have to make. I know you are tird of hearing this, but you're young and have your whole life ahead of you.

He may be sent to Iraq, Korea, Germany, Italy or perhaps just stay in the states where you can visit or move to IF that is a good idea.

Don't just pick up and move for him unless you are absolutely sure it's what YOU want and always have a back-up plan.

Say for instance he gets stationed in NC at ft bragg. You move there to go to school or whatever and to be with him.

Six months later he is deployed overseas. Now you are away from home or wherever you planned to do with yourself after school. This is just one possibility.

Sorry if this went on to long. I hope you figure something out and can feel good about it. ((Hugs))

great tips. thanks.
kristen, i'm sure everything will be fine. if it's meant to be, it'll find a way



my boyfriend's in the army, but i met him after basic/ait and he was in iraq, so although we were just friends then, we communicated well.

we plan on being together for a long, long time, so we've talked about all of that stuff. let me tell you, TALK to him about it. get it all out on the table. whether you decide to marry or not down the road, you'll know what you're headed for. even though toby and i have talked about it plenty times, we bring it up every once in awhile again to 1. reassure ourselves this is what we want and 2. it just makes us feel better.

don't bring it up here and there, little tidbits. set a night aside, sit down with him, discuss EVERYTHING.

good luck and feel free to PM me


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