# To Delete Or Not To Delete?



## Johnnie (Apr 1, 2009)

I'm curious to find out if you'd allow your SO to keep an ex-girlfriend/wife/boyfriend/husband in their phone's address book?

Question: " So, why do you have her number still in your phone?"

His answer: " In case she calls I'll know it's her and I won't have to pick up. Otherwise, if I delete it and she calls I'll answer it not knowing who it is and I'd have to talk to her."

If so, why or why not?


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## Lucy (Apr 1, 2009)

i still have my ex in my phonebook. and i really couldn't tell you why! lol i just can't bring myself to delete it. so many times i've been like, right, it's over, i'm with someone else now, he treated me badly and i don't want anything to do with him. but then i just can't do it!

i grew up with him, we met when we were 3 and were best friends until we were 14, and then started going out. we were together for 3 years. i don't talk to him anymore, i never call him, i just don't like cutting him off that much. i guess i feel like what if there was an emergency or something, and i needed a half autistic, stoner mathematician?? lol


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## Aprill (Apr 1, 2009)

First of all gold star to whomever gave that excuse, that is very new and innovative!

I dont answer numbers that I dont know, not programmed numbers that I know. If they leave a voicemail, that is the only way that I will return the phonecall. If I have an ex's number, it would only be for business purposes and my husband would be aware if that was the case. I still dont believe in happy go lucky follow up friendships with the ex. I dont wanna talk to you and I dont care how you are doing.

I have said this a thousand times, it may not be sunny and rainbow-y, but exes (especially if they speak negative about them) are a part of the past and should be left there because if they were worth a damn, they would be in your life. So them having an exes phone number combined with that cock and bull story would make my brain bubble with activity.

However, my advice may not be the best because I am a bridge-burner, I will never cross over it again in any way, shape or form.


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## pinksugar (Apr 1, 2009)

what you said his response is, is exactly how I feel.

My ex used to call me at really random times and I liked to know it was him so I could reject or ignore his calls.

He hasn't called in a really long time, but I think it would take at least another year of no contact before I'd be ready to delete his number - that's just a result of his obsessiveness. Having to speak to him in an awkward situation would be really, really uncomfortable.

Then again, I accidentally called him the other day - so if I'd deleted his number that never would have happened!

I'd delete it at the request of my partner though - it's not worth fighting over!


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## Bec688 (Apr 1, 2009)

I have exes numbers in my phone for that exact reason, no other. If it bothered my partner that much, I would delete it, though it's never been an issue as I know my boyfriends have had their exe's in their phone book as well.


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## Karren (Apr 1, 2009)

That is an awesome excuse!! For that reason alone I'd let him keep it there! Very creative!! Lol.


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## pinksugar (Apr 1, 2009)

lol, that's TWO people who've said it's an excuse!

it's honestly not!

maybe it's more common here in Oz, but my own home telephone number is private, so are all my uni advisors, so I can potentially miss really important calls if I don't answer my phone just because I don't recognise the number or it's private.

I've deleted them before, and then answered the phone, only to have to make awkward small talk with an ex, so I'd much prefer to just keep the number in there until all chances of them ringing are gone! lol.


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## Fataliya (Apr 1, 2009)

Originally Posted by *Johnnie* /img/forum/go_quote.gif I'm curious to find out if you'd allow your SO to keep an ex-girlfriend/wife/boyfriend/husband in their phone's address book? 

Question: " So, why do you have her number still in your phone?"

His answer: " In case she calls I'll know it's her and I won't have to pick up. Otherwise, if I delete it and she calls I'll answer it not knowing who it is and I'd have to talk to her."

If so, why or why not?

Wouldn't blocking her number be easier?


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## Adrienne (Apr 1, 2009)

I'm guilty of actually saying that while I was dating. I wasn't doing anything and I really didn't know why I kept them at the time but it just didn't feel right to delete them yet. I guess bc maybe since I was just dating I didn't feel like it was a necessity to delete them. When I got married I did go ahead and get rid of them all. And I don't answer numbers I don't know either so no biggie.


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## Orangeeyecrayon (Apr 1, 2009)

i delete the numbers and i make significant others delete them too. i dont want them to have the option of talking to them, mostly cause people who date do not typicly become friends with out feelings still involved. plus i dont have to worry about the number being unkonwn thing, both me and my boyfriend wont pick up if we dont know the number


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## magneticheart (Apr 1, 2009)

I have ex boyfriends numbers in my phone, not because I want to call them but because I'm genuinley too lazy and can't be bothered to delete them. I have numbers of old friends I haven't spoken to in years in my phone!

If a new SO asked me to delete them then I would, It's not that big a deal and not worth fighting over.

As for whether I would ask them to delete their exes numbers though I'm not sure. It would depend on their relationship. If their relationship had just fizzled out and they'd decided to stay friends then I don't really think it's fair to say 'You have to delete it' that's like saying they can't be friends with them. But if they had a bad breakup or just split but don't talk to each other then I'd be like 'well why do you even want their number?'


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## Johnnie (Apr 1, 2009)

LOL Karren!

Fataliya: Yup, blocking would be easier.


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## -Chelsey- (Apr 1, 2009)

I'm with Aprill on this one, I don't answer my phone if it's a number I don't know or a blocked number, if it's important then they will leave a message. There is no reason to have an ex's number still in your phone when you are in a new relationship.

It is a pretty good excuse though! But I wouldn't buy it.

I guess I've never really had to deal with this though cause I've changed my number so many times there's no way any of my ex's would be able to get a hold of me lol


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## Rebbierae (Apr 1, 2009)

I guess I sort of agree with Fataliya--just generally, if a person keeps the phone number in purely out of worry that they will call, and he/she does not want to talk to them--and they are that concerned about it, then just block the number and you won't have to worry about it.

I guess though, on the opposing side, I too have kept numbers in my phone "just in case". And I'm really not sure why. Maybe part of it is letting go. This is totally different than a dating thing, but my parents each used to have their own cell phones. When my Dad died my mom cancelled hers and used my Dad's because more people knew his number. I deleted Mom's from my phone, but I left the other one saying "Dad". Now every time my mom calls me--even after 3 years--I see "Dad" on my phone display and get this little catch, just for an instant, then I know that it is mom. I know I should change it because it sort of hurts my heart to see it, but the thought of "deleting" him...I don't know, I just can't do it. Stupid, I know, because I'm not 'deleting' him from my memories, but it is just one of those things. I guess in a dating situation if you miss someone THAT badly you may not be ready to date and it WOULD be odd for a new person to know that was there.

Ok I was just all over the place on that one and I probably should have shut up LONG ago!!


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## pinksugar (Apr 1, 2009)

just to note, in Oz, you cannot bar specific numbers, because obviously it's the first thing I asked about.

You can only bar ALL incoming numbers or ALL outgoing numbers.

Soooo yes. In australia, keeping the number and rejecting the call is still the best option.


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## Dragonfly (Apr 3, 2009)

How about answer the question this way:

If I was dating a man and he found my ex's phone number and told me to get rid of it - I would get rid of him.

The days of humouring a jealous, controlling boyfriend are long gone.


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## tika (Apr 3, 2009)

I keep them for a period of time, for the reason that was mentioned in the first post. Eventually I delete it when it seems like he isn't randomly calling any more. I'm not sure why I do it this way, I just do.

Thinking about it now, it's sort of silly to keep the number because I don't ever answer the phone if the number calling isn't already in my phone.


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## Anthea (Apr 3, 2009)

I have my ex wife's number only because I sometimes need to arrange dropping off or picking up my son. No other reason.


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## candygalore (Apr 4, 2009)

i agree with april and adrienne is no name shows up i don't pick up.


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## HairEgo (Apr 4, 2009)

Yeah, I'm with Aprill...an ex is an ex for a reason. Part of your/his past not present or future. However, that excuse, as creative as it is, is ridiculous. The ex in question could just as easily if he/she really wanted too, block their number so it shows up private when they call anyway. Then what? Not answer any private callers?


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## Ricci (Apr 4, 2009)

LOl thats quite an excuse .. I say delete

Originally Posted by *Aprill* /img/forum/go_quote.gif First of all gold star to whomever gave that excuse, that is very new and innovative!
.

I know hey?


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## reesesilverstar (Apr 4, 2009)

Boo at that reason, lol!

I have my latest ex's number still because we figured out that we're better off as friends. And he's so clueless about females, I'm like his resource. And Shern does know that we still talk. In fact he knows exactly who I'm talking to on the phone and laughs at my end of the convo most times...

He also still has his exes in all his lists, but it really doesn't bother me. However if they do start talking again, I think I should know about it. It's just a courtesy thing because if I stumble upon it on my own, there'll be a serious "talk" about it and he won't win.

I mean I don't see an issue, unless it's supposed to be a secret.


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## sweetnsexy6953 (Apr 6, 2009)

I never keep my ex's number. I never have and never will.


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## _piglet_ (Apr 7, 2009)

delete. whats the point in keeping it?


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## La_Mari (Apr 7, 2009)

I still have my ex on mine. I hate him and wish I'd never met him. I kept it to know it was him and now I used it to block that specific number. I have no idea if he's tried calling or not, nor do I care.


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## ox0xbarbiex0xo (Jun 16, 2009)

My current boyfriend and I are on a phone plan together and I'd feel very weird having my ex's in the address book and him having his ex's in his address book too.

If they call, and I don't recognize the number and answer, as soon as I know it's them, I'll just hang up. lol What do I care?!

Shouldn't be a problem though, I don't answer unless I know the number. They can leave a message.  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />


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## Chaeli (Aug 17, 2009)

Yes. I'm confident in my relationship. I would rather know it is there with my blessing than hidden in a memory. My SO has this uncanny memory. They never forget anything so really, it would not make a differance either way. They are with me because they want to be with me. Not because I have them locked up.


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