# Your Prerogative Or Not ???



## Amethyst (Sep 14, 2005)

This isn't really a complaint - I'm just interested in everyone's opinions. Maybe its the wrong forum...?

Anyway, you know when there's a major tragedy - - - lets use hurricane Katrina situation as an example - - - and you read or hear people commenting "how can other people buy materialistic things for themselves when people like the hurricane victims have no homes, food, etc."

*How do you feel about people who make statements like that?*

Let's suppose you already donated or even - - - let's say you haven't - is it not your prerogative to spend your hard earned money as you wish? Or - - do you feel that you should go without certain things and use all your leftover or free money (if you are lucky enough to have some) and send it to underprivileged people who need it badly?

What is your opinion on this and what would you say to someone who makes *the above statement*? I'm curious.


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## Cirean (Sep 14, 2005)

If you gave everything "extra" that you have until everyone was in a "comfortable" situation, you'd never have any extra again. There is always someone in need in this country, it doesn't take a natural disaster to make it that way.

I don't believe in giving money, give blood or food or goods.


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## girl_geek (Sep 14, 2005)

Honestly I don't know what I would say .... hubby and I do give a percentage of each paycheck to our church, and occasionally donate to special causes like the hurricane relief, but we certainly have enough extra to buy "material" things... so I don't know...


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## redrocks (Sep 14, 2005)

I give to causes that I feel are right for me to give to or have meaning to me. I don't give because someone tells me to.

With that being said, I don't think anyone has the right to tell anyone else what to do with their money.

If someone came up to me and said something, I would be polite but say I don't discuss financial issues with anyone but my husband. Simply because it's none of their business!

Just my opinion.


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## Amethyst (Sep 14, 2005)

Interesting responses so far!

Actually someone I know made a comment about another person we both know. She commented about this woman sending her young adult son money (he's waiting for his first paycheck). The woman originally said she would send money to hurricane victims and then decided to send it to her son instead. Now regardless of whether or not its right or wrong, I agree, who's business is it what you do with your money or not?

Which leads me to another case. I read somewhere about someone approaching Condoleeza Rice because she was purchasing a pair of shoes and the person said to her how could you when all these people are homeless in New Orleans.

Now this isn't about whether or not you vote Republican or Democrat or Liberal. The discussion is whether or not you think someone is *right* or *justified* in approaching someone about that.

Again, whatever your political views are, doesn't matter - do you feel its right for someone to judge what you buy or don't buy in the aftermath of a tragedy?


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## girl_geek (Sep 14, 2005)

Originally Posted by *Amethyst* Again, whatever your political views are, doesn't matter - do you feel its right for someone to judge what you buy or don't buy in the aftermath of a tragedy? When you word it this way, no, I don't feel it's right to judge anyone based on their financial decisions! (Though maybe if they were squandering all their money in gambling or frivolous purchases while their children went hungry, I would try to intervene!) But if you take a worldwide view there is ALWAYS some tradegy, if not a natural disaster, then wars or terrorist attacks, or AIDS orphans in Africa, or something else -- if the people making those comments truly cared about the needy, shouldn't they be donating tons of money, all the time, to victims of various tradegies all over the world? I like Redrocks' reply that she only discusses finances with her husband, I may have to start using that!
Anyways, I've always thought that financial decisions should be private! (Though obviously you should discuss them with your spouse!) For example, I was so embarrassed and thought it was so inappropriate when people (usually strangers, like store employees!!) asked me how much my engagement ring cost! Yes, the diamond was a little bigger than the average college student's ring (and no, I did not ask him for a big diamond, he picked out the ring and surprised me before I had told him ANYTHING about what I wanted in a ring), it's none of their business what it cost or how he paid for it!!!




Sorry, but that was a little pet peeve of mine ... fortunately I haven't got these comments since I got married, I guess no one talks about engagement rings after the wedding!


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## Liz (Sep 14, 2005)

i'd tell those people who are saying "how can other people buy materialistic things for themselves when people like the hurricane victims have no homes, food, etc." to *shut the f**k up!*

i don't have much extra. we don't work hard for nothing. yes i do buy makeup, but that's the only thing i buy. my bf doesn't want me to spend my money, wants me to save it. i can donate old clothes or something, but don't tell me how to sepnd my money.


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## suzukigrrl (Sep 14, 2005)

It is everyone's own personal decision to donate or not. That what capitalist society is like. I can only hope that the people who can afford more will give more. I work for a non-profit organization and I have been the recipient of various free services from private and government sources, so I can really appreciate the need for people who can afford it to give to those in need. I think it all just a matter of an individual's prioritires. Buying a BMW is just important to some people.


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## girl_geek (Sep 15, 2005)

This week Fox Trot has been doing a series of comics on the hurricane, and I thought that today's strip was particularly relevant to our conversation...

http://www.ucomics.com/foxtrot/2005/09/15/


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## Amethyst (Sep 15, 2005)

That's a PERFECT example!! Thank you!!


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## SamanthaBNYC (Sep 16, 2005)

Originally Posted by *Amethyst* That's a PERFECT example!! Thank you!!









If the person is so concerned about Condoleeza Rice spending money on shoes and not the Katrina victims, then why is that person in New York and not in New Orleans helping out? It's too much of a "do as I say, not as I do" attitude, when in fact the person would be far more helpful in New Orleans doing whatever they could do (they could buy a lot of bottled water, rent a U-Haul and drive down there with fresh water for a lot of people), than they are in a shoe store preaching at Condoleeza Rice. Judging others doesn't make you a moral person.


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## NYAngel98 (Sep 16, 2005)

Perfect example in that comic! lol I say spend it on whatever you want. It is YOUR money. Yes, we cannot help everyone - nor can our donation save the world. I agree with Ciren, there will always be someone in need. If I were in the 'needy' persons shoes, yes I would appreciate any help I could get, but I wouldn't expect everyone in the world to help. Its not a reality. I think the Government should help us ALL out by cutting taxes, raising wages, and giving back to us... if anyone has the $ to 'give'... they do. (Besides, it comes from us anyway) But as far as me buying a pair of shoes instead of donating to a cause... well I feel that would be my decision. And if I felt strongly for something, I might - otherwise ... I might not.


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## Amethyst (Sep 16, 2005)

All good replies and I agree with you. I think this person I know who made that comment is always chasing one cause or another and always trying to make others feel guilty. I appreciate all your responses - they were very good explanations. Thanks.


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## Aniger86 (Sep 22, 2005)

Originally Posted by *SamanthaBNYC* If the person is so concerned about Condoleeza Rice spending money on shoes and not the Katrina victims, then why is that person in New York and not in New Orleans helping out? It's too much of a "do as I say, not as I do" attitude, when in fact the person would be far more helpful in New Orleans doing whatever they could do (they could buy a lot of bottled water, rent a U-Haul and drive down there with fresh water for a lot of people), than they are in a shoe store preaching at Condoleeza Rice. Judging others doesn't make you a moral person. Exactly! Empty barrals make the most noise(I hope this's the right phrase



) I myself think that its up to a person if he or she is gonna donate or not. If I had some extras, I wouldn't mind giving. Some time back, I saw this pamplet 'bout some poor kids in some third world country- something like for juz $23 a month, u could clothe, feed &amp; put them in school. It does make me feel guilty to think that I can easily blow $23 away when it could mean so much to a poor kid. I would have liked to have give, but I don't even have enough for my own expanses. In fact, I'm spending $$ I shouldn't be spending


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## Sirvinya (Sep 22, 2005)

Originally Posted by *Amethyst* Anyway, you know when there's a major tragedy - - - lets use hurricane Katrina situation as an example - - - and you read or hear people commenting "how can other people buy materialistic things for themselves when people like the hurricane victims have no homes, food, etc." Originally Posted by *Amethyst* *How do you feel about people who make statements like that?* 


Personally, I feel like it's none of their business. Actually after the Tsunami hit at the end of last year I was posting on another board about some mu I'd just bought. I got an email from someone I'd never even spoken to online before saying how I was cruel and selfish for not giving my money to charity and that I was racist for not wanting to help Asian countries. She gave me a load of links to donation websites and told me to take back the makeup and donate the money. I was absolutely fuming! How dare anyone tell me how to spend my money and tell I *had* to donate! I didn't even bother replying to her. I had already donated to a charity of my choosing but I didn't see how it was any of her business.


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## Pauline (Sep 29, 2005)

How do i feel about people who make statements like that? Well personally, i could probably understand why they would say something like that, especially after a big tragedy. On the other hand, i donate to several charity';s every month and i feel that i am doing my bit, and that makes me feel better and grateful for the material things i do have.


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