# Am I unattractive?



## mikedawnson (Feb 23, 2010)

Hi,

I wasn't sure what forum to post this in since I am a guy but I thought there would be plenty of girl help coming from a makeup forum






Okay, to start off I am a guy, and I am 17. Junior in high school.

I am from florida and go to a public school here (not saying which one!)

I am kind of a loner, I mean I have friends but its like they all have their own group of friends and I only talk to them inside of school, I haven't done something with a friend outside of school in many years.

I havent hugged/kissed a girl my whole life (other than family of course). never had a girlfriend, never had a girl like me.

I am wondering where I went wrong??

I am not that cute... well i dont know. i have nice eyes but i have a kind of big nose and not much muscles. (im working on my weight trying to get bigger)

The deal is, I would love to have a girlfriend. Many guys at my school you can see in their eyes they just want



and then out of there. I dont want that at all, yet how am I the one missing? How do they not notice that in a guy?

I dont know.... I was wondering what went wrong in my life and if its going to be like this forever!!!

sorry if no guys are allowed to post here, just let me know....

thanks to everyone who reads this and cares, theres not that many out there that do.


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## Karren (Feb 23, 2010)

Anyone can post her, Mike.... Guess my question is have you ever asked a girl out? or are you waiting for one to like you first? I've found out that if you want something in life you need to be proactive and go get it... a lot of times no one knows what you want because you haven't told anyone....


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## Chaeli (Feb 23, 2010)

I agree Karren. Many times there are others that are looking across the room or sitting at home day dreaming about that special other person just walking up and saying hello to break the ice and things just develop along from there. However, in most cases, it just never happens because neither one takes the initiative to be the one to break that ice.


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## mikedawnson (Feb 23, 2010)

Your right! I havent asked a girl out.... however if I did id probably look like a fool doing so. Even the girls I do like when I talk to them ive heard them tell me that they like this 1 guy and what they think of it... it never works out in the end


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## Dalylah (Feb 23, 2010)

It sounds like you may be a bit shy. Worried about being unattractive? Don't be. In my honest opinion there is someone for everyone... many someones in fact. At your age there are going to be a lot of "bad boys" that the girls are attracted to. They will get over it when those same boys starting breaking their hearts and they will start looking for more suitable partners. That's where you come in.

I recommend maybe opening up your social circles. Invite your friends to go places where it is safe and there is the possibility of meeting new girls. If you like someone befriend them. Don't wait for them to make contact. If they are smiling at you and you are interested, go say hi. Many girls are too unsure and afraid themselves to start the conversation. Sometimes they go out with other people simply because the one they wanted didn't ask.

Above all else, be proud of who you are. Girls like confident, self assured men. Make the most of your good qualities and it will shine through to others.


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## Chaeli (Feb 23, 2010)

Originally Posted by *mikedawnson* /img/forum/go_quote.gif Your right! I havent asked a girl out.... however if I did id probably look like a fool doing so. Even the girls I do like when I talk to them ive heard them tell me that they like this 1 guy and what they think of it... it never works out in the end



You'll be surprised just how many good girls actually love the boy that makes a fool out of himself over her. The very first ice you need to break is the ice within yourself.


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## Dalylah (Feb 23, 2010)

Originally Posted by *Chaeli* /img/forum/go_quote.gif You'll be surprised just how many good girls actually love the boy that makes a fool out of himself over her. VERY true. Sweet boys who like you so much that they do silly things over you are wonderful.


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## Darla (Feb 23, 2010)

Hi Mike,

Its not a problem posting here - guys like us are certainly allowed to participate.

I read what you said about your experience in High School. I would say first "Don't Stress". One thing I can tell you is that success or failure in High School is not reflective on later life. In fact, there seems to be a degree of justice that gets passed on as you age. Someone who was popular and a bit of an ass in High School may have little going for them years later. Appearance is not everything, but in High School it sure seems that way. There are women who can look beyond the superficial and see a nice smile or a friendly attitude.

The best advice I have heard on how to meet girls is to go places that girls like to go. Examples are fun courses in evenings or weekends, away from school. Think about stuff girls typically like: crafts, arts, animals, languages, etc. Volunteering might be another option as many girls enjoy helping others. Lastly, consider getting a part time job where you will have the opportunity to work with (or at least meet) some girls.

Also, girls really like guys that are confident, listen to what they have to say, and are never jerks. If you are friendly and attentive, ultimately you will be successful in meeting a nice girl.


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## Willow (Feb 23, 2010)

Ok, first of all, you need to quit putting yourself down! It's fine if you have just shared this with us but I have a feeling that this attitude filters down into the rest of your life. Confidence is the most attractive quality in anyone! If you don't have it now..work on it or fake it 'til you make it.

Just stop feeling sorry for yourself and stop caring what everyone else thinks and go out and be friendly and outgoing. It's not easy to do something that doesn't come naturally for you but the first step here is to just get out and do things with other people. Make a lot of effort to get some kind of active social life going! It's the only way you will become less shy. You will feel uncomfortable at first but just muddle through it. Just think to yourself how worth it it will be in the long run. Even if you were the homeliest person around ( I really doubt that you are), you could still find a nice young woman just by having the right attitude. You must make yourself confident and fun to be around and the only way to do that is to just be yourself. Sorry if this is a little harsh but I really want you to understand that attitude is EVERYTHING and looks are trivial.


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## mikedawnson (Feb 23, 2010)

Thank you to Willow, Darla, Dalylah, Chaeli and Karren.

You guys are a big help and very inspiring.


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## Lucy (Feb 23, 2010)

if i hadn't been in love with my best friend from nursery for most of my high school years, i'd have been exactly in your situation. i was shy too, i had an awful time talking to guys and socialising in that way. but it's fine not to have done all those things at your age, i know it's fustrating but you have the rest of your life for it. i was in a serious relationship from 15 to 18 and it wasted some of my best years looking back at it now. you sound like an honest, sincere guy and that is something girls will ALWAYS be interested in, trust me.


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## mikedawnson (Feb 24, 2010)

Originally Posted by *Lucy* /img/forum/go_quote.gif if i hadn't been in love with my best friend from nursery for most of my high school years, i'd have been exactly in your situation. i was shy too, i had an awful time talking to guys and socialising in that way. but it's fine not to have done all those things at your age, i know it's fustrating but you have the rest of your life for it. i was in a serious relationship from 15 to 18 and it wasted some of my best years looking back at it now. you sound like an honest, sincere guy and that is something girls will ALWAYS be interested in, trust me. Thanks Lucy, you're awesome!


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## HairEgo (Feb 24, 2010)

Hi Mike...

Here's what I've noticed...in highschool, if you're not an athlete, or a jock...you're basically invisible. Or atleast thats how it was when I attended highschool. But TRUST me everything changes a few years down the line...When you hit 22 or around there, women don't want that type of guy anymore...infact a lot of the times they've been so put down and emotionally abused by the a s s hole type that they want the complete opposite. So you may think right now that you're missing out and you have a void in your life, but good things come to those who wait. I didnt have my first kiss until I was 19...theres nothing wrong with me, i'm a normal girl...it just never happened. Hang in there...everything seems a lot worse then it really is when you're at that age. And please remember this...fake it till you make it- confidence is a HUGE factor when looking for a potential relationship!


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## mikedawnson (Feb 25, 2010)

Originally Posted by *HairEgo* /img/forum/go_quote.gif Hi Mike...Here's what I've noticed...in highschool, if you're not an athlete, or a jock...you're basically invisible. Or atleast thats how it was when I attended highschool. But TRUST me everything changes a few years down the line...When you hit 22 or around there, women don't want that type of guy anymore...infact a lot of the times they've been so put down and emotionally abused by the a s s hole type that they want the complete opposite. So you may think right now that you're missing out and you have a void in your life, but good things come to those who wait. I didnt have my first kiss until I was 19...theres nothing wrong with me, i'm a normal girl...it just never happened. Hang in there...everything seems a lot worse then it really is when you're at that age. And please remember this...fake it till you make it- confidence is a HUGE factor when looking for a potential relationship!

Thanks for the reply!
You're right. One girl told me if she thinks this one guy likes her and I said hes kind of mean why dont you look for someone else. She said she can ONLY go out with hot ones. I said OK well then I cant help you anymore.

Oh well, we will all grow up soon.

Can't wait.


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## Rebbierae (Feb 25, 2010)

Yeah well, looks fade and then what are some of those people left with? Some ONLY have their looks and when that fails to pan out for them they have nothing to fall back on.

You sound like a great, sincere, mature person which is rare for a guy so young. So don't rush it just because you feel a want or need to be in a relationship, and you will meet the right one for you, who shares your values and beliefs. And it will be well worth it.

High school SUCKS--people are mean and vindictive and horrible, quite honestly. High school was the worst four years of my life and you couldn't pay me enough to go back.

But looking back, all the things I thought were potentially life-ending in high school...a couple of years later were almost laughable at how silly they were. You seem to already have a grasp on that, so that puts you light years ahead of everyone else!

Don't worry, keep being YOU, and you will find the one who deserves to have you!


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## mikedawnson (Feb 26, 2010)

Originally Posted by *Rebbierae* /img/forum/go_quote.gif Yeah well, looks fade and then what are some of those people left with? Some ONLY have their looks and when that fails to pan out for them they have nothing to fall back on. You sound like a great, sincere, mature person which is rare for a guy so young. So don't rush it just because you feel a want or need to be in a relationship, and you will meet the right one for you, who shares your values and beliefs. And it will be well worth it.

High school SUCKS--people are mean and vindictive and horrible, quite honestly. High school was the worst four years of my life and you couldn't pay me enough to go back.

But looking back, all the things I thought were potentially life-ending in high school...a couple of years later were almost laughable at how silly they were. You seem to already have a grasp on that, so that puts you light years ahead of everyone else!

Don't worry, keep being YOU, and you will find the one who deserves to have you!

Thank you so much!!
I think your right, theres no rush.

Although it is hard to find girls in high school that actually respect themselves and that don't wear these low cut shirts and have skirts that are as long as a marble. And today I saw 2 girls within an hour that just flip friends off with the finger, totally un necessary.

There ARE a few out there that are nice women that respect themselves.

Sorry for random babble talk, thank you again though.


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## Krystal (Mar 4, 2010)

Originally Posted by *Dalylah* /img/forum/go_quote.gif It sounds like you may be a bit shy. Worried about being unattractive? Don't be. In my honest opinion there is someone for everyone... many someones in fact. At your age there are going to be a lot of "bad boys" that the girls are attracted to. They will get over it when those same boys starting breaking their hearts and they will start looking for more suitable partners. That's where you come in.
I recommend maybe opening up your social circles. Invite your friends to go places where it is safe and there is the possibility of meeting new girls. If you like someone befriend them. Don't wait for them to make contact. If they are smiling at you and you are interested, go say hi. Many girls are too unsure and afraid themselves to start the conversation. Sometimes they go out with other people simply because the one they wanted didn't ask.

Above all else, be proud of who you are. Girls like confident, self assured men. Make the most of your good qualities and it will shine through to others.

Dalylah, I agree with you.

mikedawnson, let us know how everything is


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## mikedawnson (Mar 7, 2010)

Its going okay





Im just trying to talk to people I think right now. Im also starting a workout plan to get some muscle for summer. Thank you again to everyone here.


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## Karren (Mar 7, 2010)

Yeah!! Muscle is a good plan! But what ever youi do.. Don't borrow their clothes!! Women hate that.. Just ask my wife!


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## Darla (Mar 7, 2010)

Originally Posted by *mikedawnson* /img/forum/go_quote.gif Its going okay




Im just trying to talk to people I think right now. Im also starting a workout plan to get some muscle for summer. Thank you again to everyone here.

thanks for the update


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## mikedawnson (Mar 7, 2010)

Originally Posted by *Darla* /img/forum/go_quote.gif thanks for the update you're welcome, you ladies are very nice and welcoming here. gave me alot of confidence


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## kayley123 (Apr 7, 2010)

Hm, I'm going to post here even though this thread hasn't been active for a month...how are things going? Better?

I definitely have to agree with all the ladies here who have posted...Just smile and be friendly. Don't worry if you feel awkward or silly, you probably will feel that way at first, but just try your best--I bet there are girls who like you and are just too shy to let you know it. Be courageous and put yourself out there; walk up and say hello to someone who you've always wanted to talk to...heck, you could even open with something like, "Hello! I'm ____...I've always wanted to talk to you, but I only got up the courage to do it today!" You seem like a very mature, sincere person; and that's always attractive!


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## Ingrid (Apr 7, 2010)

you Just have to be patient until you find 'the one'. There is someone out there for everybody.

Don't worry about the type of girls who only like bad guys or jocks or girls who only care about the appearances, girls like that definitely do not deserve to be with someone as nice and sweet as you. Wait until you get out of high school and I am sure you will find a nice girl for yourself who appreciate good guys. Don't rush into things for now.


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## cloudycandyx (Dec 28, 2010)

Girls are just as afraid to ask you out as you are to ask them out, especially in high school. There are probably a lot of girls who had crushes on you, but were too afraid to act on it. As a 17-year-old girl, I can speak from experience. We usually don't act on our feelings unless we're absolutely sure it will work out. Be friendly, don't be afraid to flirt, and don't be shy! You'll find a girl, just don't rush it  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />


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