# Don't want kids??



## Tyari (Jun 15, 2008)

I must be the only person alive that doesn't want kids. I have absolutely NO DESIRE to have kids, raise kids, adopt kids, etc... In fact, when I think of myself with kids, my stomach turns. My sister-in-law says once I meet the man of my dreams, I'll change my mind but I don't think so. Kids are soooo much work and I really like my freedom... Please contribute.

I'd love to hear your thoughts on this. Also, I'm not saying I NEVER want kids, but right now in my live, I do not have a desire for them. Maybe this will change later but its important to me that whatever happens, that I don't have any regrets, anyway. Please weigh in on this.


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## bella1342 (Jun 15, 2008)

A lot of people don't want kids. Me? I can't imagine my life without them. Being a mom gave me purpose in life. My heart just melts when my two year old son kisses me, (without me asking) or says "I love you Mommy." I can't wait until my daughter can say it too. I'd love to have 4 kids if possible. Personally I think the hardest part about having kids is having the constant worry that something bad is going to happen to them. Well, I shouldn't say I constantly worry about that.. but it's a thought that never really leaves your mind. That's just how moms are. Maybe you'll change your mind about having kids someday, but if you don't.. that's okay.


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## Dragonfly (Jun 15, 2008)

I don't think there is anything wrong with remaining childless. In fact, I think there is too much pressure on women to become moms.

One day, you might settle down with a nice guy. And then the two of you will decide if becoming parents is right or not.

And if you decide to remain childless at that point, that is your right. Don't let anyone make you feel bad or guilty for making that choice.


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## cheller (Jun 15, 2008)

wow.

sometimes i really really really badly want children. i feel suited for motherhood. im protective &amp; a freaking good babysitter ;]

i want to have kids when i get married to the man that was made for me.


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## pinksugar (Jun 15, 2008)

I was certain there was already at least one thread on this...

I found one! you might like to read the responses there too





https://forum.makeuptalk.com/f96...ren-36455.html

here is my basic thoughts - I like kids, especially babies, they have such cute little hands and feet and they're kind of squishy.

BUT. I have a LOT of things I want to do before I have kids. Maybe I'll never be ready. I've certainly never found the right guy, and I don't want to get stuck looking after them by myself, because I think being a single parent must be one of the hardest jobs around, and worth a LOT of respect.

I'm quite selfish right now, and I think kids should come first. If I'm not prepared to give them the time and energy they need and deserve, then I wouldn't even think about it.

That's not to say that if I got pregnant (pretty hard right now being single and all



) that I would terminate. I'm sure I COULD be a good parent, but it's not the direction I'm looking to go in right now.

As the others said, it's an extremely personal choice, and no one should make you feel guilty for your decision.


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## Anthea (Jun 15, 2008)

I think its perfectly OK not to want children. Everyone is different and we all want different things out of life otherwise it would be a pretty boring world.


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## andrea90 (Jun 15, 2008)

I know quite a few people who don't want kids, me included. I like the freedom of being able to go on a trip on the spur of the moment.


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## Tyari (Jun 15, 2008)

wow! Great responses ladies! All of you kinda tapped in to what I'm going through right now, too... I am a total worry wart about everything, to the point I drive myself crazy and I know I couldn't rest as a mom, at all.

Carolyn, you're right about there being too much pressure on women to become moms and I am experiencing that pressure for sure but I don't let it get to me. Particularly from my mom because she wants a granddaughter, she already has 2 grandsons by my brother.

Pinksugar - I feel the same way - there are a lot of things I want to do too like complete my education, things I wouldn't be able to focus, while parenting. As it stands, I've already put off my education long enough (I'm 28 now).


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## MsAubreyM (Jun 15, 2008)

You are not alone. Though the concept of having kids does not repulse me, I have no huge burning desire to be a mother.

It helps that my partner feels the same way.

There's nothing wrong with women who see their whole purpose in life is to bear children as it is to A-OK for women to also consciously decide to forego babies/kids.

I'm not saying NO definitely. I'm saying that if my partner and I have achieved all/most of our dreams and we feel that we are ready and willing, then I'll (we'll) try.


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## kdmakeuparts (Jun 15, 2008)

Just because you are a woman doesn't mean yuo have to be Mom. It is your choice. I am a Mom and I am done with 2. I have had people say you really don't want more, why? As if 2 is a peice of cake!



I know my limitations, that's why!

But I can say never say never....when you do meet that someone you may want to share that experience with them.

And you know, if you ever do have regrets, it's never too late to adopt!


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## Tyari (Jun 15, 2008)

Thanks again... I should also add that I have cousins that have 4 kids and I see how frustrated they get and it just turns me off all the more... keep 'em comin ladies!


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## MsAubreyM (Jun 15, 2008)

I must say, each time I watch my brother give in (he's such a softie) to his brat of a two yr old- It reaffirms my No Kids principle.

I love both my nephew and bro very much but I can't stand pushy kids and softie parents!


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## nanzmck (Jun 15, 2008)

childless is fine. parenthood is fine. 1 kid is fine. 23 kids is fine.

try not to worry about what people think of you, it's your body and your life.


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## StereoXGirl (Jun 15, 2008)

I know how you feel! And it's really frustrating when you feel pressure from others (family and friends) to have kids when you have no desire to!

You're definitely not alone! Make sure you stay true to yourself. I agree with Carolyn 100 percent when she says "Don't let anyone make you feel bad or guilty for making that choice."


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## Tyari (Jun 16, 2008)

You guys are great! MsAubreyM, I totally agree with you. My brother has 2 boys (4 and 9), however, my brother is not a softie at all, in face he's too harsh in my opinion and just seeing him get so upset also reaffirms my stance.


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## Xexuxa (Jun 16, 2008)

I have no desire to have kids and neither does my boyfriend. I want to dedicate my life to my career and leave my mark in a way thats important to me. This makes my Mom sad, but she has my brother. Also the family bloodline is in no danger of going extinct. Women in my family are popping out babies all the time.


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## Sarah84 (Jun 16, 2008)

Believe me you are not the only one, i feel the same. I have no desire and no i never will have any desire to have children.

I am with the person i want to spend the rest of my life with and have been with him for 2 years now and have not once changed my mind about it, luckily he feels the same and doesn't want to have children either.


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## Adrienne (Jun 16, 2008)

There are quite a few threads on this:

https://forum.makeuptalk.com/f96/sad-28550.html

https://forum.makeuptalk.com/f11...iage-8848.html

https://forum.makeuptalk.com/f11...ent-77288.html


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## magneticheart (Jun 16, 2008)

You're not alone or in anyway weird for not wanting kids. I know plenty of people who have expressed the fact that kids just aren't for them. You're a person and you have the right to make the decision whether you want that or not. No one should make you feel bad for not wanting to go down that path. Plenty of people have happy lives without having children and the same goes for people who have children. Imo it's a totally personal choice. Some people just have a burning desire to have children and have that really strong instinct inside them and some people just don't. I know people who want kids for sure and some people who say no that's just not for me. 

You might not want kids right now but you could change your mind down the line but if you don't change your mind then that doesn't make you a bad person.

Personally I'm not sure about having kids. I think it will become much clearer when I'm older because right now I have times when I see cute little kids and go "Aww!" and think that one day it would be nice to have kids but sometimes I just think no I couldn't deal with that. I think when you are ready to make that decision (if you ever are) then you'll know about it.


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## cherryblossom13 (Jun 16, 2008)

I feel the same way!!!! At this point in my life, I really do not think I want kids. I'm also 27 too so it's not an age thing. Most of my friends all have kids, and I don't think I could do it. I live with my man now, but my roomate before had a baby while I was living with her and I basically was there from when he was born till he was 2 so I saw how it really is. I really don't think I could handle it.

I am still selfish and am not willing to give up my time, etc. Plus I can't do it financially. I don't have family to help. my bf already has an 11 year old son, and honestly he doesn't even know if he wants anymore.

It's even worse, because EVERYONE always asks me when I am having kids, getting married etc. I don't know why anyone cares so much. It's not MY or HIS family asking either. It's like friends of friends and friends family members. Then I get lectured when I say I don't think that I want kids.WTH!

damnnnnn sorry for the novel!


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## Tyari (Jun 17, 2008)

Originally Posted by *Modirty80* /img/forum/go_quote.gif I feel the same way!!!! At this point in my life, I really do not think I want kids. I'm also 27 too so it's not an age thing. Most of my friends all have kids, and I don't think I could do it. I live with my man now, but my roomate before had a baby while I was living with her and I basically was there from when he was born till he was 2 so I saw how it really is. I really don't think I could handle it.I am still selfish and am not willing to give up my time, etc. Plus I can't do it financially. I don't have family to help. my bf already has an 11 year old son, and honestly he doesn't even know if he wants anymore.

It's even worse, because EVERYONE always asks me when I am having kids, getting married etc. I don't know why anyone cares so much. It's not MY or HIS family asking either. It's like friends of friends and friends family members. Then I get lectured when I say I don't think that I want kids.WTH!

damnnnnn sorry for the novel!

Don't be sorry, I appreciate all the feed back. Thanks


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## Aprill (Jun 17, 2008)

I respect every woman that does and every women that does not, its called personal choice....Once upon a time I didnt want any, 3 1/2 babies later, I wouldnt trade it.

What I dont respect is a female shaking their head "Oh girl I dont know how you do it" Ok, then dont have any, and please dont question what and how parenting is done, I am NOT speaking of anyone here, but I distaste the opinion of women with no children. Some things in parenting are obviously wrong, but some are not.


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## bCreative (Jun 17, 2008)

I made a thread like this a while ago so trust me you are not alone! I have way too many things I would like to achieve before I even think about being a parent. But even then I still might not be ready to take on such a responsibility.


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## bella1342 (Jun 17, 2008)

Originally Posted by *Aprill* /img/forum/go_quote.gif What I dont respect is a female shaking their head "Oh girl I dont know how you do it" Ok, then dont have any, and please dont question what and how parenting is done, I am NOT speaking of anyone here, but I distaste the opinion of women with no children. Some things in parenting are obviously wrong, but some are not. I totally agree with you.


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## *Gigi* (Jun 17, 2008)

Hmmm... do you feel guilty about this or something? because you SHOULDN'T! I have 2 kids, and you are right, they are ALOT of work and you do lose your freedom to come and go as you please, spend your money how you want, sleep as long as you want, etc... you get the point. It is very stressful, but also very rewarding. If you have no desire to have kids, then don't. I am glad to see you are honest and aware of how you feel about the situation. And even if you do meet the "man of your dreams," don't pretend that you want a kid for his sake. Unless you know in your heart that you are ready to be a mom, that is. A man can leave when ever they want, and you will have to struggle to raise the child alone.

Originally Posted by *kdmakeuparts* /img/forum/go_quote.gif I am a Mom and I am done with 2. I have had people say you really don't want more, why? As if 2 is a peice of cake!



I know my limitations, that's why! I feel ya! I have 2 kids and my mom and friends (even the ones with NO KIDS) are asking when we are going to start trying! I always say, " I am not the one with baby fever, you are!" My daughters are 11 and 4, my baby will be 5 next month and starting kindergarten, so I don't have "babies" anymore. Its like they want a baby, not me!

Originally Posted by *bella1342* /img/forum/go_quote.gif I totally agree with you. That doesn't really bother me, because I don't know how I do it sometimes! It is hard being a working mom, and I get overwhelmed sometimes, but I love my family and my work and wouldn't trade it for the world.


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## Tyari (Jun 18, 2008)

Originally Posted by **Gigi** /img/forum/go_quote.gif Hmmm... do you feel guilty about this or something? because you SHOULDN'T! I have 2 kids, and you are right, they are ALOT of work and you do lose your freedom to come and go as you please, spend your money how you want, sleep as long as you want, etc... you get the point. It is very stressful, but also very rewarding. If you have no desire to have kids, then don't. I am glad to see you are honest and aware of how you feel about the situation. And even if you do meet the "man of your dreams," don't pretend that you want a kid for his sake. Unless you know in your heart that you are ready to be a mom, that is. A man can leave when ever they want, and you will have to struggle to raise the child alone.


I feel ya! I have 2 kids and my mom and friends (even the ones with NO KIDS) are asking when we are going to start trying! I always say, " I am not the one with baby fever, you are!" My daughters are 11 and 4, my baby will be 5 next month and starting kindergarten, so I don't have "babies" anymore. Its like they want a baby, not me!

That doesn't really bother me, because I don't know how I do it sometimes! It is hard being a working mom, and I get overwhelmed sometimes, but I love my family and my work and wouldn't trade it for the world.

Gigi, I thank you tremendously for your words. I'm very grateful to everyone that has taken time to respond to this! I'm glad that I get to hear the perspective of mothers and non-mothers alike.


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## La_Mari (Jun 18, 2008)

OMG Rosie, I was eating cereal, and almost spit it out when you said babies are "squishy"





I would like to wait until my husband and I are settled in one place and money is super good, even though it's good right now. But if we do, we'll never have kids. So I think it'll happen for me when the time is right.

I think if you don't want kids, you shouldn't have them, or feel guilty for not having them. It is kind of annoying getting asked by my mom/MIL when we're going to make them granny's, but IDK why there's a rush?

I would love to have kids, leave something a part of me and Thomas behind, and teach them everything we've learned.


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## InnerPeace (Jun 18, 2008)

There is absolutely nothing wrong in not wanting to have children. Some feel the need to have them and some don't.


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## aney (Jun 18, 2008)

I don't want to have kids either ... Maybe I'll change my mind sometime in the future but right now I don't even want to think about it!


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## CellyCell (Jun 19, 2008)

You're not alone, love! I think many can relate.

Hell no would I want kids right now. I know a lot of people who had children right out of high school. INSANE! It's not a death wish, but you can't live life independently and explore with kids crawling all over you. Plus the financial burden. When you're young, you're just so greedy... I think it has to be progressiveness kinda thing.

Explore life, build it, settle and then have your clan.

I'll wait. Even though I don't even have a man right now, haha, I would wait even if I did. I do have the desire to become a mommy and think that's a wonderful thing - I'm excited about the thought in the future. But not now.


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## Tyari (Jun 19, 2008)

Originally Posted by *CellyCell* /img/forum/go_quote.gif You're not alone, love! I think many can relate.Hell no would I want kids right now. I know a lot of people who had children right out of high school. INSANE! It's not a death wish, but you can't live life independently and explore with kids crawling all over you. Plus the financial burden. When you're young, you're just so greedy... I think it has to be progressiveness kinda thing.

Explore life, build it, settle and then have your clan.

I'll wait. Even though I don't even have a man right now, haha, I would wait even if I did. I do have the desire to become a mommy and think that's a wonderful thing - I'm excited about the thought in the future. But not now.

Celly, I couldn't have said it better myself. You're awesome


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## xtiffanyx (Jul 6, 2008)

I'm another one not wanting kids. I'm 21, but I don't see myself wanting them even when I'm older. I love my baby sister, but babysitting her all the time has just reinforced this. I never thought anything of it until friends my age who have kids try to make it seem like I'm a horrible selfish person who's gonna have a miserable life if I don't have babies



.


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## pretty_pink13 (Jul 7, 2008)

I thought I replied to this post a while ago, I remember posting that I wanted to have kids later in life, anyhoo my post isn't there so maybe I was imagining things lol.

Well my thoughts have changed, over the weekend I couldn't help but notice how my bf's aunt is taking care of her son's 2 year old and 4 year old kids, it was overwhelming because they were getting into everything and they just needed sooo much attention.

I also went out and did some touristy things in my town which was packed full of families with screaming babies and little kids.

It hit me that I really don't want kids. I felt bad about it because to me it's shelfish but honestly I don't want any. As bad as it sounds, I couldn't give my life up caring for someone else and trying to keep them alive. I am just not that responsible.

So you are not alone!


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