# Relationship advice needed



## Fairy_Princess (May 15, 2006)

I feel like I am dying on the inside.... I don't know how much longer i can take this...





okay me and my boyfriend...well *HE* had the _bright_ idea of us taking a break i said okay because we have been having problems and i want to just make it better... that was saturday.... mmk yesterday he had the even BRIGHTER idea of us actually breaking up... and this is by far the strangest reason i have ever heard, he said he 'just wanted to KNOW what it felt like to not have me'.... How is that supposed to help anything*????????* I cannot do this...i am falling apart and i *cannot *hold myself together... i don't know what to do... i keep telling myself that if he loves me as much as he says he will come back to me... but i am afraid he'll find someone better or realize that he just can't be happy with me... *anything* to screw it all up... i dont know what to do... 

*



Help Me Please!!!!



*


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## Mina (May 15, 2006)

I am so sorry! ...I can tell you, If he wants to take break...I think you should go for it. cuz if he really loves you..you will find out within couple days and same thing in ur side. I would recmd to take a break. You will see the difference before you get hurt more in the future. this is a bright step to take.

You could tell him not breakiing up..but why not take a break. Is he angry with you for some reason? Or is he trying to see if you love him? or he wants to see ur emotion...cuz sometime men's wants to see the joy of crying. All I can tell you if he truly loves you, he wouldn't be that serious..I wish you best of Luck!


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## Fairy_Princess (May 15, 2006)

Originally Posted by *Miranhat* I am so sorry! ...I can tell you, If he wants to take break...I think you should go for it. cuz if he really loves you..you will find out within couple days and same thing in ur side. I would recmd to take a break. You will see the difference before you get hurt more in the future. this is a bright step to take. 
You could tell him not breakiing up..but why not take a break. Is he angry with you for some reason? Or is he trying to see if you love him? or he wants to see ur emotion...cuz sometime men's wants to see the joy of crying. All I can tell you if he truly loves you, he wouldn't be that serious..I wish you best of Luck!





Thanx we have already broken up and i must wait for himto come back...he said he wanted to test himself more than me i didnt do anything wrong he is just not as happy as he used to beand i have become so used to us being together i guess i havent appreciated the fact that we are together like i used to so i KNOW this will help i just hope that he comes back to me because then it was all just a lost cause.... but thanx much


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## kaeisme (May 15, 2006)

Umm ..sweetie, if a guy makes remarks like that...you need to just let him go..it hurts way down to your bones...but he has his mind made up....


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## monniej (May 15, 2006)

Originally Posted by *Fairy_Princess*



I feel like I am dying on the inside.... I don't know how much longer i can take this...





okay me and my boyfriend...well *HE* had the _bright_ idea of us taking a break i said okay because we have been having problems and i want to just make it better... that was saturday.... mmk yesterday he had the even BRIGHTER idea of us actually breaking up... and this is by far the strangest reason i have ever heard, he said he 'just wanted to KNOW what it felt like to not have me'.... How is that supposed to help anything*????????* I cannot do this...i am falling apart and i *cannot *hold myself together... i don't know what to do... i keep telling myself that if he loves me as much as he says he will come back to me... but i am afraid he'll find someone better or realize that he just can't be happy with me... *anything* to screw it all up... i dont know what to do... *



Help Me Please!!!!



*



first of all - pull yourself together girl! this is a dude that likes to play games and he can only play if you play along. my thought - good riddens! you are a beautiful, wonderful, person with great things to offer and if he doesn't get that then it's time to move on! look in the mirror and remind yourself how beautiful you are and say a prayer of thanks that this guy showed his true colors



!


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## Mina (May 15, 2006)

Princess, I know how ur feeling. Like Kaeisme said just let him go..If he truly had loved you once..he will sure come back...please hold ur heart. God Bless You!

Originally Posted by *monniej* first of all - pull yourself together girl! this is a dude that likes to play games and he can only play if you play along. my thought - good riddens! you are a beautiful, wonderful, person with great things to offer and if he doesn't get that then it's time to move on! look in the mirror and remind yourself how beautiful you are and say a prayer of thanks that this guy showed his true colors



![/left] Wow Wonderful way to present...Love that!



Go Monnie...go Monnie..


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## jennycateyez (May 15, 2006)

Originally Posted by *monniej* first of all - pull yourself together girl! this is a dude that likes to play games and he can only play if you play along. my thought - good riddens! you are a beautiful, wonderful, person with great things to offer and if he doesn't get that then it's time to move on! look in the mirror and remind yourself how beautiful you are and say a prayer of thanks that this guy showed his true colors



![/left] well said!


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## pinkbundles (May 15, 2006)

i would let him go. i don't know, if he really loves you, i don't think he'd want to know what's it like to lose you. i love my hubby and the very thought of losing him hurts. know what i'm sayin'?

besides, you said you guys have broken up before. so he already knows how that feels! so he's just looking for a way out. he may have loved you, but his words, thoughts and actions says he's ready to move on.

as far as being happy, you yourself acknowledged that he's not happy. and people who aren't happy in a relationship will do everything they can consciously or sub-consciously to distance themselves from the relationship and the other person.

i mean, if you have to work sooo damn hard to make it work, then it's not working. it shouldn't be this hurtful or complicated!

be strong girl. you'll find someone who loves you with all his heart and would treat your heart as if it's the most precious and fragile thing in the world and would never break it. trust me.


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## charish (May 15, 2006)

i'm so sorry for your heartache. i know you love him and want to be with him, but if he really was in love with you he wouldn't be doing this to you. i know that sounds mean sorry. it'll be hard but if you see or talk to him just act like you don't care and whatever's meant to be will happen. get with your friends and have a girls night out or something. friends are good at making it feel better when these things happen. plus it helps if you're not alone.


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## Fairy_Princess (May 16, 2006)

I have thought about what yall have posted and thanx so much i dint expect so much feed back... he will come back if he truly loves me but i cannot torture myself until he does because i could be doing that forever i feel alot better talking about it and letting it all out... thanx so much you guys... im beginning to get used to it here.... yall are *AWSOME*ness.... i will be as happy as i can be until i know what he decides then i will be even happier either way so thanx...




love lots


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## Liz (May 16, 2006)

i know how you feel.

but you got to let him go. if he ends up regretting what he did, then that's on him. if he would do something like this, then he's not worth it.


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## NYAngel98 (May 16, 2006)

If you love something... set it free. If it comes back... it was meant to be.

Feel Better!


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## makeupfreak72 (May 16, 2006)

i know its easy for us to say let him go, but TRUST ME your NOT going to die without him, and i'm sure your alot stronger than you think, and when he leaves and realizes it was his loss, you will have already been over him and moving on!!! and when or if that happens, you'll feel great!!! trust me!!! paybacks a *****!!


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## Sweetmew2751 (May 16, 2006)

Originally Posted by *monniej* first of all - pull yourself together girl! this is a dude that likes to play games and he can only play if you play along. my thought - good riddens! you are a beautiful, wonderful, person with great things to offer and if he doesn't get that then it's time to move on! look in the mirror and remind yourself how beautiful you are and say a prayer of thanks that this guy showed his true colors



![/left] Preach Monnie, Preach!



:


Girl, you will be alright. We know it's hard to let go, but that is the only way to get something BETTER



Cindy


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## LVA (May 16, 2006)

hope u feel better hun

I know u probably hate me for saying this. But it sounds like it's time for u to let go. I know it's hard. trust me, i know exactly what u are going thru. I don't know what it is about guys. But some guys just don't know how to stick in there. If he loved u, he wouldn't want to hurt u like that. Show him that u are better than he his. U don't need him hun, there are a lot of wonderful guys out there.

I remember when i was younger, there was a guy that i wouldn't let go. Some ppl say love @ first sight is impossible. The first guy u date is not going to be the guy u marry. but I was out to prove them wrong. I told myself that Love @ First sight exist and my entire life, I would be faithful to one guy. Only problem was, I was still really young. I had my whole life ahead of me. When we first met, I knew he loved me. He always remembered the holidays and bought me flowers. He planned suprise parties for me. Bought me my fav cake and arranged for me my fav flowers. We took bubble baths and showers together, .... everyday i spent w/him was like a day in heaven for me. but one day, he changed. he wasn't the same anymore. he started complaining that i was fat, and this and that. I don't cook enuf .... one day , he started treating me like we were married and i was his housewife, cooking, cleaning, doing his laundry, giving him money. wtf! .. what the hell was i thinking, I loved him .. and i never wanted to lose him. I had high hopes that he would change one day. he stopped spending time with me . He never bought me anything anymore, instead he was spending $100s and 1000s on himself until he maxed out his Credit Card, then he went to me for money.... what a jerk .... i was so tired .... I knew he didn't love me anymore. but ... i couldn't leave, I cried my heart out when he pushed me away ....

... now .. i'm happi to say, he's not the onli guy in the world, I know I can do better and I did. I found some1 much better.


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## Fairy_Princess (May 16, 2006)

Originally Posted by *LVA*



hope u feel better hun
I know u probably hate me for saying this. But it sounds like it's time for u to let go. I know it's hard. trust me, i know exactly what u are going thru. I don't know what it is about guys. But some guys just don't know how to stick in there. If he loved u, he wouldn't want to hurt u like that. Show him that u are better than he his. U don't need him hun, there are a lot of wonderful guys out there.

I remember when i was younger, there was a guy that i wouldn't let go. Some ppl say love @ first sight is impossible. The first guy u date is not going to be the guy u marry. but I was out to prove them wrong. I told myself that Love @ First sight exist and my entire life, I would be faithful to one guy. Only problem was, I was still really young. I had my whole life ahead of me. When we first met, I knew he loved me. He always remembered the holidays and bought me flowers. He planned suprise parties for me. Bought me my fav cake and arranged for me my fav flowers. We took bubble baths and showers together, .... everyday i spent w/him was like a day in heaven for me. but one day, he changed. he wasn't the same anymore. he started complaining that i was fat, and this and that. I don't cook enuf .... one day , he started treating me like we were married and i was his housewife, cooking, cleaning, doing his laundry, giving him money. wtf! .. what the hell was i thinking, I loved him .. and i never wanted to lose him. I had high hopes that he would change one day. he stopped spending time with me . He never bought me anything anymore, instead he was spending $100s and 1000s on himself until he maxed out his Credit Card, then he went to me for money.... what a jerk .... i was so tired .... I knew he didn't love me anymore. but ... i couldn't leave, I cried my heart out when he pushed me away ....

... now .. i'm happi to say, he's not the onli guy in the world, I know I can do better and I did. I found some1 much better.

Well it never was that bad... im sorry but you said yourself you are happy now... i know that ill only feel this way now bbut its still really hard and he keeps calling to check on me and it doesnt help... ill stop i feel like im complaining....


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## blackmettalic (May 16, 2006)

Originally Posted by *Fairy_Princess* Well it never was that bad... im sorry but you said yourself you are happy now... i know that ill only feel this way now bbut its still really hard and he keeps calling to check on me and it doesnt help... ill stop i feel like im complaining.... I hope you feel better soon. You need to give yourself time to heal, it doesn't happen over night and there is no need to apoligize for being human. Like my teacher once said "Life happens to everyone." Take care, hun.


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## Fairy_Princess (May 16, 2006)

Thanx All!!!!!!!!!!


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## Cool Kitten (May 16, 2006)

Originally Posted by *Fairy_Princess* he keeps calling to check on me and it doesnt help... ill stop i feel like im complaining.... you need to stop answering the phone when he calls. If he wants to see how he can live without you then he shouldn't have you in any shape or form. I'm sorry to say, but if someone doesn't appreciate you when they have you, they won't miraculously change when you're apart.


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## Fairy_Princess (May 17, 2006)

Well I am all better now my friends and you guys have mad3e me see the truth and made me feel a little better... thankyou all for the advice and everything you really helped...































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## mehrunissa (May 17, 2006)

Seems like everybody is in consensus when it comes to this guy - you're better off without him. I think all of us know heartache, and we've all come out better on the other side, so don't be scared about what will happen if/when it's over.

The one thing that killed me was when you wrote that he keeps calling to check up on you. Honey, the truth is more like he's calling to boost his ego, to see how upset you are over what he's doing to you. I had an ex who did that. And at the time I was convinced he just kept calling because he cared about me and was worried over having hurt my feelings. It didn't take me long to realize that he called because it felt good to know he had that effect on me. Someone who was sure of their love wouldn't need to "test" it like this. I think you deserve a better guy who doesn't toy with you like this.

Stay strong.


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## LVA (May 17, 2006)

Originally Posted by *Fairy_Princess* Well it never was that bad... im sorry but you said yourself you are happy now... i know that ill only feel this way now bbut its still really hard and he keeps calling to check on me and it doesnt help... ill stop i feel like im complaining.... see .... i was much worse off than u ...and i got back on my feet w/o him ....





o ... and i also had another friend ... not b/f ... just friend .. but we were realli close ....

I went to VN for the summer and met some1 ... which ... i shouldn't have. We realli hit it off ... then 3 weeks later ... my mom said we had to get on the plane home,

I didn't eat for days, then i pigged out, i didn't sleep, i was mad @ my mom (It wasn't her fault , i know) I was mad @ the whole world, I was depressed and i cried myself to sleep whenever i did get any sleep ...

2 weeks later ... i got over the whole thing .. .LoL ....


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## VenusGoddess (May 17, 2006)

I'm going to be completely honest. I had an ex like this once. He used to tell me this every time we "broke" up. But, he would call me all the time and tell me how much he missed me, how much he just needed to "get his head on straight"...and I fell for it. In fact, I "loved" him so much I didn't date anyone else during our times apart.

Then I found out it was just a bunch of lines and that he was seeing other people. But, it was ok, because we were broken up.

Let him have his lies. Let him have his "pain". He's just playing you for a fool, and the only time you are a fool is if you allow him to do this.

Of course he's calling to "check up" on you...he's making sure that you are still available. If his other "plans" don't work out, he can always come back and tell you how much he loves you and how happy you make him...it's all a player's line.

Just walk away. Yes, it hurts...but you need to learn how to love yourself enough to let go of people who don't love you as much as you would like to believe they do.

When you find someone who treats you the way you deserve to be treated and who loves you as much as you love them...you'll look back at this guy and wonder why you were so broken up over him...if you even remember his name.


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## mehrunissa (May 17, 2006)

Originally Posted by *VenusGoddess* I'm going to be completely honest. I had an ex like this once. He used to tell me this every time we "broke" up. But, he would call me all the time and tell me how much he missed me, how much he just needed to "get his head on straight"...and I fell for it. In fact, I "loved" him so much I didn't date anyone else during our times apart.
Then I found out it was just a bunch of lines and that he was seeing other people. But, it was ok, because we were broken up.

Let him have his lies. Let him have his "pain". He's just playing you for a fool, and the only time you are a fool is if you allow him to do this.

Of course he's calling to "check up" on you...he's making sure that you are still available. If his other "plans" don't work out, he can always come back and tell you how much he loves you and how happy you make him...it's all a player's line.

Just walk away. Yes, it hurts...but you need to learn how to love yourself enough to let go of people who don't love you as much as you would like to believe they do.

When you find someone who treats you the way you deserve to be treated and who loves you as much as you love them...you'll look back at this guy and wonder why you were so broken up over him...if you even remember his name.





Hallelujah and amen, sister.


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## Fairy_Princess (May 20, 2006)

Thanx everyone its pretty much over now i am not waiting/hoping for him to go out with me just really waiting to see what's next but not always thinking about it like i was so its all good now... we are friends now but im not gunna TRY and get him back like he thinks i am its all his decision and if he cannot see it on his own it is not worth it.. so yeah... eveything is okay now and thank you all for helping me see eveything... THANX LOTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## Pauline (May 20, 2006)

Hi Fairy_Princess,sorry to hear how sad and down ur feeling.It's only natural to be upset and hurt and the advice is easier said than done.However time Is a great healer and u will get over this.I always think to myself boys will come and boys will go, tell me something i don;t know...there'll be a betta one round the corner! I hope that you feel better soon and were all rooting for ya! All da best.


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## Mina (May 22, 2006)

YAY! am glad your recovering...God bless you and make you more strong..


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