# Coworker is cheating on his gf of 10yrs



## babykitty219 (Jul 27, 2006)

One of my coworkers is cheating on his girlfriend of 10 years with a married woman (13 yrs older than him) that has 2 kids. He is only 25, far from settling down, and this woman is talking him into having kids together and moving away as soon as possible. This has beeing going on for about a month now.






What do I do/say?? I feel so bad for his girlfriend and the situation bothers me so much, but he thinks the situation is perfectly fine. Usually I just shrug off others personal matters, especially at work, but here i'm surrounded by it because both his gf and the lady he's cheating with come into the office to see him at work.


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## LVA (Jul 27, 2006)

personally, i would try not to get involved. ... but that's not very good advice. LoL .. i'm sure the other girls will tell u to do something about it.


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## Zoey (Jul 27, 2006)

It is a horrible situation and if I was his gf,I would definitely like to know and would be really pleased if you told me.


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## mac-whore (Jul 27, 2006)

Personally, I would stay completely out of the situation. I know it's hard to do, especially with something like this.. being that it's right there in front of you.. but, when it comes to relationships.. unless someone is being physically abused I stay out of it. I've been in this type of situation before and I can tell you that alot of girls that have been in long term relationships are in denial about alot of things.. and giving her this info just might backfire on you. It will come out eventually, if it hasn't already.. she will find out that he is unfaithful one way or another and it dosen't need to be from you, in my honest opinion. Good luck, and try not to let it affect you too much.


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## blondie36 (Jul 27, 2006)

i agree i would stay out of it too, but its so hard when you around crap like that, i worked in offices most of my life and office gossip sucks- i feel bad for the girlfriend


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## Aquilah (Jul 27, 2006)

Okay, first of all, IMHO he's a loser! That being said, I think you should stay clear of the situation. I understand you feel bad for his girlfriend, and that's the only person you should have sympathy for. A married woman should know better than to do what she's doing, and he should be smart enough to know better himself! They're grown adults, and if they want to be stupid, then let them. Don't involve yourself and possibly end up looking like the bad guy! Maybe one day justice will be served and they both show up at the office at the same time? Or maybe another co-worker will decide they don't care about the ramifications and decide to tattle on him! I just totally recommend not getting involved. Don't cover for him, don't lie for him, nothing! I'm not sure if he's already asking you to do stuff like this, but if he is/should, simply tell him he was a big enough boy to get himself into this situation, he can be a big enough boy to get himself out of it!


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## Saja (Jul 27, 2006)

Unless the gf who is getting the raw deal is a sister, bestfriend or cousin (of yours), I would stay out of it. Its their problem to fix.


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## pinkbundles (Jul 27, 2006)

i personally would stay out of it. i really don't know where to begin with everything that's wrong with this picture!

the married woman: is she crazy? leave behind a marriage and two kids to have more kids with a younger guy over a one month affair?

the younger guy: leave behind his gf of ten years for an older woman with lots of extra baggage?

them: not to mention how many lives they'll both ruin?

you: knowing too much info.! but i'm sure you didn't ask for it.

the only thing you can do is to not cover up for them and their lies. and hope they'll get caught or they smarten up and break it off.


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## Andi (Jul 27, 2006)

ok IÂ´m the minority here cause IÂ´d tell the gf. I have gotten in minor trouble before for not keeping my mouth shut and always telling the truth but I despise lies/dirty secrets. IÂ´d feel HORRIBLE not to get involved, it would not give me rest until I say something.

If I was in your shoes I honestly wouldnÂ´t care if itÂ´d backfire on me, cheating is wrong and cheaters should not get away with their behavior (especially if this guy has been with his gf for 10 years and a married woman is involved in his affair!!!!!)


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## dixiewolf (Jul 27, 2006)

I stay out of work situations. At an old job I had the president of the computer dept and one of the computer tech guys had an affair, both of them were married with kids. Well eventually the whole company knew, and they both quit. I always just acted the same, pretended like I didnt know when I spoke to either one of them at work. Their spouses found out eventually.


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## tiffannygurl (Jul 27, 2006)

sounds like this guy is a jerk. but for me personally i would not get involved.


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## VenusGoddess (Jul 27, 2006)

Ever heard the term, "Shoot the Messenger"? That's what will happen if you stick your nose in this business. You'll either cause yourself problems at work, or you will create other problems for yourself outside of work...

Don't like it? Don't agree with it? That's fine...but don't get involved in someone else's drama.


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## bluebird26 (Jul 27, 2006)

I hate so much that kind of people, whether girls or guys, they should never get in another relationship when married.


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## lovelyrose (Jul 27, 2006)

If this guy is a close friend of yours, I would try to advice him and tell him to put a stop to what is obviously wrong. Or at least break up with his gf so that she doesn't get affected because of this affair.

I would also tell the gf about it, but because it might backfire on me, I would convey the message to her anonymously. I'm not sure how exactly I would do it, perhaps get her email address and send her an anonymous email. She may not believe the email, but at least she had a chance to know what was going on.


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## Annia (Jul 27, 2006)

I would definitely tell the girl but not to her face. I would send an anonymous note or something along those lines so I wouldn't be directly involved in it.


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## mehrunissa (Jul 28, 2006)

It really is a disgusting situation, that. I still wouldn't get involved in the relationship issue, but if I had a huge problem with what he's doing and I knew the guy somewhat well, I'd bring it up with him and ask him to see them outside of work because you don't agree with what he's doing, it's making you uncomfortable, and you don't come into work to have to deal with that sort of thing. Maybe I'd even give him a piece of my mind, and tell him that if he doesn't love his gf, he needs to drop her instead of letting her waste her time on lowlife scum like himself. Perhaps not in so many words, though.


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## Becka (Jul 28, 2006)

i can't stand when people bring crap like that into the workplace. i wouldn't say anything. its amazing how many times i've seen affairs happen in the workplace, everybody thinks they're doing such a good job of keeping things secret. No such luck, everybody always knows! its only a matter of time before she finds out some other way or via someone else


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## mandy_ (Jul 28, 2006)

The anonymous note thing is a good idea. If you know what days / times each lady comes in tell her in the anonymous note to come in on the day the other lady comes in if she doesn't believe it.

Otherwise, I wouldn't tell her to her face. Stuff like that backfires, and you don't want to get involved in the drama.


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## pinkbundles (Jul 28, 2006)

Originally Posted by *mandy_* The anonymous note thing is a good idea. If you know what days / times each lady comes in tell her in the anonymous note to come in on the day the other lady comes in if she doesn't believe it.
Otherwise, I wouldn't tell her to her face. Stuff like that backfires, and you don't want to get involved in the drama.

that sounds like a good idea if you really feel complelled to say something without feeling the repercussions.


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## missjeffrey (Jul 28, 2006)

Take the guy you work with out to lunch, tell him you think he's being a ********, and ask him not to bring his personal drama into the office because it is making you uncomfortable, and it is becoming inappropriate.

I mean this whole thing could blow up at the office!!! Imagine the g/f of 10yrs surprising the guy while the other woman is there!!


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## janetsbreeze (Jul 28, 2006)

Depending on what kind of work you do, this guy could actually be putting his job at risk. Not directly, because no one can control what anyone does on their own time, but indirectly through the *company* he is keeping. If he is so wrapped up in all of his drama, it might be affecting his work performance. Then and only then would it be possible for you to go to a higher up. If he is not doing his job and it's creating more work for you, then that is a problem that they could deal with.

If it's not a work issue and the guy is just a creep for cheating, I would stay out of it. The less you know, the better off you are.

Just my two cents!


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## ling07 (Jul 29, 2006)

Don't Tell Her ,stay Out Of It


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## babykitty219 (Jul 29, 2006)

would just like to say thank you for all of your replies. He was fired this week beings that he was not getting his tasks done nor was he doing them right. So its out of the office now. I was not close to him, he was more of an aquaintance. The situation overall just irritated the heck out of me..... just the thought of him thinking it was all "okay". oye he was an ass.


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## KathrynNicole (Jul 29, 2006)

I, personally, would not get involved.


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## dlb04 (Jul 30, 2006)

I'd stay out of it. If something isn't affecting me personally, I leave it alone.


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## ivette (Jul 30, 2006)

honestly, i would stay out of it. you could end up being labled "the bad guy" because

you said something to the girlfriend out of concern and friendship. sometimes these

things have a way of backfiring in your face, sort of speak


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## Kelly (Aug 5, 2006)

Originally Posted by *Saja* Unless the gf who is getting the raw deal is a sister, bestfriend or cousin (of yours), I would stay out of it. Its their problem to fix. I agree....althought he whole thing sucks....I'd stay clear.
I had this happen where a good friend of mine was the cheater....and I ended up telling her husband (cuz he asked me) and yep....that good friend is no longer a friend....we have never talked since.


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## SwtValina (Aug 5, 2006)

Originally Posted by *missjeffrey* Take the guy you work with out to lunch, tell him you think he's being a ********, and ask him not to bring his personal drama into the office because it is making you uncomfortable, and it is becoming inappropriate. 
I mean this whole thing could blow up at the office!!! Imagine the g/f of 10yrs surprising the guy while the other woman is there!!

This is good advice. I too think you should tell him that it makes you uncomfortable and to keep his drama out of the office.


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## ecstasia (Aug 6, 2006)

Something like this recently came up at my workplace as well. Due to the fact that I have been cheated on many times this topic hits very close to home and I have some very harsh opinions in regards to the parties involved.

However that said, the best advice is to stay out of it. I know that seems wrong, but trust me on this, it will not solve anything for you to get involved and could make trouble for you if you do get involved.

-- Lissi


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## BrazenBrunhilda (Aug 12, 2006)

He is a creep and she is desparate to bag a younger dude. Stay out of it so their evil doesn't rub off on you.


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## lolamae (Aug 23, 2006)

Its sad to watch things like that happen. Personally, if they were just my coworkers I would not get involved.

BUT.. if I were that girlfriend I would want to know... so I would appreciate an annonymous note or something like that. Its a hard situation.


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## jennycateyez (Aug 23, 2006)

what a a$$hole.. but i agree with the girls.. stay out of it.


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## geebers (Aug 23, 2006)

Glad he got fired! See? Things DO work out on their own.


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## vanilla_sky (Aug 23, 2006)

Originally Posted by *Zoey* It is a horrible situation and if I was his gf,I would definitely like to know and would be really pleased if you told me. i agree. If I was a gf, i would like to find out.

It's a tough one. In our culture especially, we mind our own business and first instinct is to say stay out of it... But I would be tempted to get involved. maybe there is a way of letting her know annymously? the bf is obviously the loser... he seems very calculated, if he has both of them visiting him at work...


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