# BF & I On A "Break"



## CellyCell (Mar 14, 2007)

Just happen right now - and I'm so mad and sad, I'm practically shaking.

We're in a long distance relationship and he was confused about us - and telling me how we're not gonna make it in the future or whatever. But he still wants to be with me. Just hates the fact that we can't see each other sooner.

So he asked to be on a break in the mean time to clear up his head. I told him I didn't want to talk to him during our "break" because it'll just sadden me some more or piss me off. He said it wasn't fair - but I told him asking for a break isn't either and that life was a ***** like that.

I hate it, I didn't ask for this...

...&amp; a few days before my 21st bday and our 2 months anniversary - perfect timing, I swear... ugh!


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## lovelyarsenic (Mar 14, 2007)

Awww, I am so sorry to hear that you and your guy are on the outs. Hopefully things will work out for the both of you - in the meantime all of us we'll be here for you

I wish I had some more high tech advice to offer you, but I have never been in a long distance relationship before...either way though, best of luck to you in whatever you both decide, and remember to stay strong!! *Hugs*


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## AngelaGM (Mar 14, 2007)

Usually a "break" means he wants to break up. I was in a long distance relationship when he needed a "break" and we stopped seeing each other a few weeks after that. But at least we still remained friends.


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## emily_3383 (Mar 14, 2007)

yeah i agree, I hate to be negative but when i read that all i can think of was that its BS on his part.


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## pinkbundles (Mar 14, 2007)

Aww, I'm sorry this happened days before your bday and anniversary. You know what I'd do? I'd have a big girls night out on your bday and forget him for that day. Maybe it will "clear" up his head...just don't do anything else to piss him off!


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## empericalbeauty (Mar 15, 2007)

seems like his decision is based on pure impulse. I say give him some time. Some time apart will also let you analyze your relationship and see if maybe he was right or not.


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## Savvy_lover (Mar 15, 2007)

actually i suggested this to my bf just days ago. but he said it only means learning how to live without each other and i agree. but then it can also be that loving someone too much can cause pain when u cant see him . then what i would do is to try to learn to live more independently so that when i think about my bf i wouldnt only feel sad lonely and desperate. of coz my bf didnt agree with this thoery and so we didnt have a break. however i believe its not the case wen a guy say it. well i cant explain it. call me sexist.


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## sweetnsexy6953 (Mar 15, 2007)

Well hopefully he gets over himself and realizes that he wants to be with you. He needs to make it up to you before you guys get back 2gether. Let us know.


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## Jesskaa (Mar 15, 2007)

I agree. But at the same time, you never know what life just may twist on you.


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## macface (Mar 15, 2007)

give him his space but dont let him over do it remember your not going to wait for him so when ever he wants too.


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## Dragonfly (Mar 15, 2007)

I hate to be harsh but:

You have only been dating him 2 months, you have only seen him part time, and he wants to take a break.

I agree with Angela.

There are lots of fish in the sea. Keep this one as a friend.


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## Yola (Mar 15, 2007)

I agree with this advice except not doing anything to piss him off. Here's why, it is none of his business what you do while you're on this break. Don't tell just have fun!!!! You're beautiful and look at it as the wrong one making room for the right one. I wouldn't let him back in so easily either.


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## CellyCell (Mar 15, 2007)

Yeah, good advices guys. Thank you for it.

I'm in such a funk - especially with timing and all.

But I told him, we're not talking at all during this break. He got upset because he said he loves talking to me. But you know, it's not fair to me that he's making us take a break.

Then I told him whenever he's ready to talk again - to tell me. I doubt I'll feel the same if this break is long. Which is why I asked him if we were allowed to see other people. He said he doesn't mind if I do - but he won't see other people during it.

I think it's better not to talk to him, my friend said so either. Make him see what he's missing and all.

But - I need time to re-evaluate also. And if I do want to continue a long distance relationship. I just wanted to be happy - and all to be good, really.

*Thanks for reading and caring! You have no idea how much I appreciate any type of support!*


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## bella1342 (Mar 15, 2007)

I hope everything works out for you! I'm going to have to agree with the other girls... I think he may be bs'ing you a little bit. Make him jealous. Make HIM call you. If you play like you don't care, he'll be calling you asap, I'm sure.


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## Lissaboo (Mar 15, 2007)

Oo dear I've done the whole "long distance thing" 2 times ..the first was with someone in the military and when he asked for "a break" that was the end of us besides friendship, I honestly think that guys assume it's less hurtful if they give us hope of a possible future when it just keeps us hanging on to something we don't really have.Girl it WILL suck for a while my advice to someone young and beautiful like you (the same advice from my mom) go out and busy yourself with someone that doesnt need a "break" from you.And his timing says that he wasn't very considerate of your feelings.

I did what my mother said but I ended up in another long distance relationship..and I tell you what I'm so glad I gave up on my military man and got with a guy who could deal with the struggle for as long as it took just to be with me because now we're face-to-face again and loving every second.(the other guy is still a close friend though)

I guess my point that I was trying to make short (ha!) is that don't dwell on it, if he wants a break give it to him..break him off of your schedule and fill it up with someone who cares!


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## Saje (Mar 15, 2007)

Well said Lisa! You and your mom are very smart people  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />


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## Lissaboo (Mar 15, 2007)

Thank-you! After all my friends nick named me "Dr. Phil-lissa" in HS ...*bows* thank you, thank you..I'll be here from 12 to 6 for all your relationship needs.

No I'm so kidding, anyway I just really hope everything goes ok.I know how bad it sucks to be left hanging on a string when you really care for someone and they expect you to just sit there and wait for them until they figure out what they want when you KNOW what you want is them.I wish you the best of luck hun!


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## AngelaGM (Mar 15, 2007)

I am so flattered I was quoted! LOL. You are a beautiful woman and you will meet another man soon


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## MissMissy (Mar 15, 2007)

Men.. they can be such *******s hang in there hunny


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## CellyCell (Mar 15, 2007)

Lisa. I love you for this! Haha. Exactly what I was thinking.

This is what he sent me right now thru MSN as I type this. Mind you, I ain't writing nothing to him at all:

Seriously - he tells me we're on a break. And then because I don't speak to him - he threatens me with that BS. Confused the foooook outtah me. We're not working ANYTHING out - we're on a BREAK. Ugh. And his MSN headline is, "F**k the past, look to the future" - when a minute ago it was, "Taking time to think, but she still on my mind".

:bs:

Thank you girls for reading my rants!


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## XkrissyX (Mar 15, 2007)

boooooooooooooooo!:add_schacko: im about to ninja his ass ,mama! haha

nah seriously...im so saaaaaaaaaad :scared:


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## jessimau (Mar 15, 2007)

OMG, he's such an a**!! Someone who's going to be all juvenile like that totally doesn't deserve you.


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## CellyCell (Mar 16, 2007)

He just broke up with me.

That was that. My heart hurts too much. Later


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## Lissaboo (Mar 16, 2007)

Aww, it's okay hun just get a pint or two...(or three if you're like me) of some double fudge ice cream and you'll feel better in no time!Watch some sappy movies about women overcoming obstacles and sleep as long as you need then work all of the ice cream off shopping for some new shoes, take a bubble bath:bath: and you'll feel empowered and fresh and ready to take on the world again.Well, that works for me anyways lol Keep your chin up chicky everything happens for a reason


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## WhitneyF (Mar 16, 2007)

I'm sorry, I hope you get to feeling better. :hug:


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## StrangerNMist (Mar 16, 2007)

What a jerk! I'm really sorry that you had to go through that.

****heads like that aren't really worth your time.

If you think about it, it's a good thing that you and this dweeb were in a long-distance relationship... Seeing that he's pulling crap like this on you shows you just how non-committal he's going to be if you guys were together physically. Someone who's just going to leave you on impulse really isn't worth your time, or your heartache.

Just know all of us are here if you need us. *BIG BEAR HUGZ*

Think of it this way - he's busy making room for your perfect fella! *smiles*


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## Jesskaa (Mar 17, 2007)

I'm not good with relationship advice, but I hope for you that things get better.  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" /> keep smiling your gorgeous!


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## boinkysamm (Mar 17, 2007)

=/.. i feel you... ive been in a few long distant relationships. those are the hardest. IT takes ten times more the patience than the average relationship, and the right man to do it with. If he wants to give you a :break: then sweetheart, this is your chance to define :breaK:. its going to be hard because of the effort that you put into this relationship will seem like a waste. But in the long run, this will define who you are, and who you'll end up with in the end. Keep your head up. And if he's getting all pissed that you don't want talk to him during his "trip" then he isn't respecting your wishes, as you are for him. From what I've learned a lot of guys that still want to continue to talk to they're ex's only want to keep in touch with them because they'll feel that they still got you. Don't give him that chance. Go to Sephora and brush them tears away. And remember to smile.


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## pinksugar (Mar 17, 2007)

mm hmm, I agree, from that msn comment, I feel like he was being attention seeking and juvenile. Honestly guys are such bastards. CellyCell, think how much more painful this would feel if you'd been going out for 6 months or a year. I think it's best that his skank faced juvenile ******* wanker side showed up now, as opposed to later on. Now you can move on more quickly and find someone who will treat you like the queen you really are. Hmph.

:king:


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## han (Mar 17, 2007)

lol.. i would never date/marry another military man either... c.h.e.a.t.e.r.s


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## KISKA (Mar 18, 2007)

When your feelings will fade away for him, you will realize how wrong he was for you and you will thank him for breaking up with you and laugh at how much you were worrying about him for no reason. Seriously.  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />


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## Savvy_lover (Mar 18, 2007)

everythings gonna be okej babe. u know that, u just cant see it yet. feel bad for a sec then you will bounce up again.


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## CellyCell (Mar 18, 2007)

Aw. You guys are all real nice - made me smile really big for all the great encouragement.

Trust me - I followed most of the advice, and thank Jebus I got good friends to rely on. It was just harder because of my dad and his attitude...

But, he thought about it thru and thru - and the ex and I are together again. Working it out. Everything blew up so quickly - and we were both in the wrong... our relationship is new. But he wants to be in it for the long haul, he said. He couldn't imagine not talking to me no more.

So this is a good birthday present for me! Thank you guys for the support and reading all this....! Thanks!


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## XkrissyX (Mar 18, 2007)

oh goodness gracious ma!...hahha goodluck!


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## natalierb (Mar 18, 2007)

I'm glad everything worked out for you Celly! You are such a pretty girl, you need to remember that if all else fails, there are a lot of fish in the sea sweetie!


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## AngelaGM (Mar 19, 2007)

Good luck on working on your relationship.


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## pinksugar (Mar 20, 2007)

good luck with the relationship, as long as he knows how lucky he is to have you! it's easy to be bratty n juvenile when you're upset or mad, so we'll give him the benefit of the doubt... THIS time, LOL!

glad to hear you will have a wonderful birthday afterall!


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## CellyCell (Mar 21, 2007)

Yeah, thanks - it's a bit iffy right now. I'll see how much he really wants to be with me. Or else, I'mma be the one done with it.


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## Sprite7 (Mar 22, 2007)

I never understood the whole "taking a break" thing. I'd rather someone just broke up with me. It just seems like it's prolonging things to me. It's like easing into a break up. I'd prefer to either stop, and try really hard to work on our problems, or to just move on. I guess it all depends on the couple. Different things work for different people.


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## CellyCell (Mar 23, 2007)

Yeah, I know what you mean Sprite. I gave him that option.

As of today - I guess we're no longer together. I'm trying my ass off to make this work but he told me yesterday he never was "in love" with me and he never saw this as a "real relationship". I can't honestly believe him because that means he himself wasted 2 and + months 'pretending' we were boyfriend &amp; girlfriend and in love with me when he wasn't.

He says its nothing to do with distance - which is a lie. And he said I never tried hard enough. Trust me, I ran down the list of things I've done for him and asked him if he himself tried hard enough. He said he did, but gave up. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Liar, Liar, Liar.

I got all the blame out of this... and he's not seeing my point of view.

I'm so mad and sad and hurt. It's like, this was one big joke to him. His best friend doesn't understand why he's treating me like this. I don't get his motives. I guess I am better off with someone near me - but I don't want anyone near me. He was a good guy up until our "break". But I don't know, it just all hurts.


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## Aquilah (Mar 23, 2007)

Okay, I was trying my best to not respond to this thread, but my curiosity has been sparked. Celly, did he ever live in the USA? I know he's in the UK, but I didn't know if you met in the US originally or just online somehow. I'm sorry to hear the whole break-up thing even happened.


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## CellyCell (Mar 23, 2007)

Haven't met in person - online, basically.

I was talking to a friend of his for a year before we met.

And we were planning on meeting later this year.


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## Aquilah (Mar 23, 2007)

Oh okay. Just curious. I'm sorry ya'll broke up, but like Natalie said earlier, there's plenty of other fish in the sea that I'm sure you'll catch one. Hopefully one that'll treat you as you deserve to be treated.


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## CellyCell (Mar 29, 2007)

Thank god I was a bit over him.

He just admitted to me he kissed other girls while going out and never saw me as a proper girl. Which means, I was never a real relationship to him.

Started calling me a "s*it stirrir".

I'm done - and to make it worse, this girl I thought was my friend is trying to hook up with him. Oh well.

I'll get over it soon.


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## dlwt2003 (Mar 29, 2007)

And I wouldnt be availaBLE or answer any calls from him NOne


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## juicycouturegrl (Mar 30, 2007)

"taking a break" is a guy's sh!tty way of saying "i want to break up but only temporarily".

guys suck sometimes. maybe you should just take this time apart to think about what you really want in this relationship, and once you two start talking, tell him how this made you feel, what you are expecting from the relationship, and what you and he can do to make it easier.

i hope you feel better soon!


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## CellyCell (Mar 30, 2007)

aw, yeah that break was two weeks ago.

we're broken up after trying to make it work. but he said he never saw me as a proper girl or someone he cared for. which is why he cheated on me one time... and he finally said we're not getting together after 3 weeks of "i'll think about it or i have mix feelings".

i got all this in today.

i just want to be happy again, and i know i dont need a man for that. it just hurts a lot.

ugh - i hate crying.


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## _withoutYou (Mar 30, 2007)

aw hang in there! he doesn't deserve you.

if i were you, i'd cut him off completely and move on with my life. you were happy and had a great life before he walked into it, so, hun, you'll be fine. it'll just take time.

you know what they say... "this too shall pass."

 /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />


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## CellyCell (Mar 30, 2007)

Aw thank you.

Thats really sweet!

Yeah - I just don't want to loose his friendship either. So he appologized perfusely for what he said earlier and just want us to be friends. But I told him not until I was ready. I'm sure he felt bad and he wouldn't have acted this way if we lived near each other.

It just sucks that he had stoop so low.

Not only that, this friend of mine - added him on MSN and is trying to get at him. A friend. I couldn't believe she would do that to me. Ugh, just another bad day.


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## _withoutYou (Mar 31, 2007)

what a nice "friend". ha. but you know what, there's something called "karma", and your lil friend there will get what she deserves in the end.

i think it's best that you do cut off contact with him until you're ready to be friends, beause it *will* be really hard to move on if you're gonna be still talking. i've been there, done that, it just doesn't work, so from personal experience, i finally realized that's what had to be done. i'm actually still going through it right now, who knows what will happen in the future, but if i still had any type of contact with him now, it will all be the same b.s. as it was before.


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## juicycouturegrl (Mar 31, 2007)

i'm sorry! really i am. i know how much it hurts, trust me. my ex was cheating on me and when i found out about it, he tried to deny it at first, then got angry at me because i was snooping (thats how i found out), then told me that he just didn't love me anymore and that was all. all his feelings for me were gone...and its like how insensitive can you be?!

guys are so insensitive. they don't realize how much things can really hurt a girl...until its already done.

i agree with withoutyou...you are better off without him, and you deserve much better because you seem like a really great girl. you said it best, you don't need a "man" to be happy girl! just give yourself some time, and hopefully next time you will find someone that appreciates you!

take care!


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## CellyCell (Apr 1, 2007)

Aw thanks guys.

Great advice...

I'm just not the type to let a good friendship go no matter what. But he done f*cked up big time. So I'm taking it as is - I blocked him off Myspace and deleted my "friend" aswell. I'm the type to not dwell on the past so much - but once something has been done, it's hard not to forget about it and just let it be a learning experience.

But other than that, he lost all my trust and I told him. And he told me today he really has been thinking about it and felt horrible for what he's done in the past 2/3 weeks. Guilt over rode him...

I just hope he grows from this, because he is younger and a bit immature still.

I could get over him - he brought all this upon himself, not me. I was already moving on. So, I know I should cut him off completely - but I'll obsess if I do. Not talking to him at all would just make me want to talk to him even more. Haha. I can't explain it - Ah well. Ill keep you posted in this teeter-totter.


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## Maysie (Apr 1, 2007)

That really sucks about your friend stabbing you in the back, I'm a firm believer though that when you put out negativity and bad actions they come back to you though so she really will get hers. You're being really mature and caring about this situation I think...wanting him to grow from this experience...and even being willing to be his friend; on the other hand do you want to be friends with someone who treated you so badly? Hope you meet someone who treats you better soon!


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## _withoutYou (Apr 1, 2007)

i agree with Maysie... it's going to hurt you even more in the long run to keep him around especially now since you're still heartbroken over this whole issue. I would see this situation very differently if this whole situation was about frienship, but since it was a romantic relationship the best thing to is let him go for a while 'till you're over the hurt and over him... don't get me wrong, it's gonna be hard, you're going to be constnatly "needing" him in your life or "needing" to talk to him but then you're gonna realize that you don't NEED to have him in your life cos his life was fine before he was in it, and it's going to make you feel better about yourself, will make you feel like you have control over your emotions, etc. but it's totally your choice, do what you feel would be best for you in this situation.


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## CellyCell (Apr 1, 2007)

Yeah, true.

I hope karma does get both of them back.

I recieved good karma because I accidently recieved $200 bucks at work. Haha. Things will look up.

I kept our talk to simples "hello/goodbyes &amp; how are yous".

Nothing more. Don't think I want anything more...

Thanks for the advice tho. I am taking them to heart - don't think I am!


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## KISKA (Apr 1, 2007)

> Haven't met in person - online' date=' basically.quote']
> 
> I would personally not worry/take seriously about some guy I have never met in real life. I mean you don't really know him...although it may seem like you do if you talk to him alot but still he might be a completely different person in real life that you won't like at all. I met someone online that I really really liked and talked to for months and then met up with him in real life and I really really did not like him at all. haha. (not romantically anyways). I mean what if he's a midget and farts at the table? You never know....lol. My point is just that not all people are what they seem and there's no point worrying about a guy who wants to go on a break before you even met.  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />


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## _withoutYou (Apr 1, 2007)

i don't mean to sound like a downer.

but i've tried to do that as well... i've tried keeping our talks to "hello/goodbyes/howareyours". but it didn't work, cos i just wanted to tell him about my day and about everything else, then that would get me into that deep hole again when i realized that we were after all "just friends" now. it hurt me a lot that i didn't get the same attention from him as i did before.


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## CellyCell (Apr 2, 2007)

*Sigh*

I know what you mean.

I don't think either one of us wants to let go.

Just sucks it all ended this way...

Ah well, Spring Break is here. I'm getting things off my mind.


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## _withoutYou (Apr 2, 2007)

lol it's hard for me to let go cos i haven't really been meeting any new people recently, i don't have a job right now and don't go to school either lol. so i don't really have anything to keep my mind off it.

good luck  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />


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## CellyCell (Apr 4, 2007)

Aw, that sucks.

Yeah - since turning 21, more chances to go out are opening up.

I was talking to him lastnight and I'm done. He was basically talking s*it about my appearance (calling me an elephant and if he saw my full body pic sooner, he would've ended it sooner) and then took a low blow saying how no wonder my father doesn't love me. (I've had major issues with my "dad" for years) and when he said that, it was like - enough is enough. And he had no reason to get mad at me or say such things.

I'm completely done and moving on. I'm not even gonna send his stupid dog tag necklace I bought weeks ago for him.

I was talking to his friends, and they all took my side which was reassuring. When my friends say to move on - it's kinda like, I don't like them saying it. Because it's not easy for me to get guys cuz I do have issues with my weight. Iono, I'm just done done done.


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## Jessica (Apr 4, 2007)

What a f****ing A** and I have so many other words to call him but can't since this is a PG thread. You're beautiful so F*** him. What an insult for him to throw in your face the problems you're having with your dad. You confided in this guy and he's just gonna throw it in your face and hurt you like that. Well at least you have seen his true colors before anything serious started. You really are such a pretty girl and you deserve so much better!!!


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## CellyCell (Apr 4, 2007)

Thank you so much!

I know - it was such a low blow.

He denies me seeing his true colors - but no actual friend would throw such s*it like that into my face.

*Sigh*

I hope karma gets him.  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />


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## Jessica (Apr 4, 2007)

Oh don't worry it will!!! I'm a strong believer in "what comes around goes around"!!!


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## pinksugar (Apr 4, 2007)

I agree. What an *******. I think he sounds like such a little cock, and this 'friend' of yours and him are made for each other. I hope they enjoy their bitter, shallow and nasty existence together. Ugh. Don't people like that just make you sick?


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## _withoutYou (Apr 4, 2007)

What a ****wad! You deserve to be treated with respect!

There are SO many other GOOD, funny, awesome guys out there who will show you the world... so trust me, HE is nothing special. You're still young so you'll meet a ton of other guys that will make you think "WHY was I hung up on that loser anyway". Been there, done that. lol.


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## Shelley (Apr 4, 2007)

What a jerk for making comments about your appearance and then having the nerve to throw your problems with you dad in your face. This guy sounds borderline abusive. I know easier said than done, but there are better guys out there. You are so beautiful, someone will come along that will treat you right. As for your friend, well karma will come her way.


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## CellyCell (Apr 4, 2007)

Aw, thank you.

I know - his friends are helping me move on better than my girl friends. It still hurts, his comments - I just happen to be a really sensitive person.

But I know he doesn't deserve s*hit from me and I ain't giving in on it.

Thanks for reading and advising me!


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## natalierb (Apr 4, 2007)

OMG, what the f*** is his problem?! You do NOT deserve to be called names by that a-hole! He sounds like a real jerk, you are so better off without him! I know it hurts now, but in a couple of years you'll be looking back and going "what the heck was I thinking, liking this guy?". You are beautiful, no matter what he says. He is just one stupid guy. Ugh, what's his email address so all of us can send him nasty emails? J/K


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## Curiosity (Apr 4, 2007)

CellyCell, you're absolutely beautiful; don't allow someone as low as him to demean you. I know it hurts now, but you'll see how much better off you are without him. x


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## CellyCell (Apr 5, 2007)

His friend - who I used to talk too - called me a fat ****.

And I just hate it all... it hurts, I just wish they would grow up and leave me alone.


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## Shelley (Apr 5, 2007)

His friend sounds like trouble also. Could you change your email addy so they won't be able to contact you?

I would feel hurt also by the name calling etc.

My exbf was abusive and so were his friends towards me. His friends would call me names, treat me like an object, just as bad as he was, and my ex thought nothing of it. I'm not a big fan of men right now.

You deserve better!


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## CellyCell (Apr 5, 2007)

Sigh*

Yeah, anti-BOYS for awhile.

Grr.

They have no respect for others. Hate that.


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## Karen_B (Apr 5, 2007)

OK, this guy sounds like a total loser. Why would he say such horrible things to you, I don't understand why anyone wants to be so cruel to someone else.

You do deserve better.


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## CellyCell (Apr 5, 2007)

Thanks, Karen.

I don't get either since I haven't spoken to him.

Just another blow to my self-esteem - it feels like I'm back in Elementary or Middle school.


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## Aquilah (Apr 5, 2007)

Guys suck! Even when they're supposed to be "grown!" Although, my husband acts like it's Kindergarten with the "pick on her cause you like her." Well, just consider it all HIS loss, not yours... You didn't lose much by way of him IMHO!


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