# Grr boys are so stupid



## tracybryant (Jul 27, 2007)

Havent been on here in a long time, but thought that I'd rant for a minute. How can guys say they love someone, but NEVER show it. I mean its like some of them go out of their way to NOT show affection or act like they care. Its so retarded, and Im stuck totally in love with one. No way to change him, and too in love to leave him. It sucks! Just had to rant for a min thanks.


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## pla4u (Jul 27, 2007)

Im sorry hon...guys are notorious for not expressing there emotions well...or in some it seems like not at all...I am guilty of that myself ...we have been seind a marrage counceler and it hase really melped ...any chance toy could get your guy to see a counceler with you?


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## tracybryant (Jul 27, 2007)

HA ha.... thats a big no. He thinks that would be a waste of money. See, he's 19, Im 21. Big age gap, plus he thinks Im the one with the problem. I doubt that he would ever go to a rel. counselor with me. Sometimes he can be a real jerk. I will try to ask though...


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## StereoXGirl (Jul 27, 2007)

Does he know how you feel (that you wish he would show you more often that he loves you)? If not, you might want to let him know. lol.

And, different people express love in different ways, so you may want to express to him (in a non-confrontational manner) what you expect of him. hth!


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## tracybryant (Jul 27, 2007)

Thats part of the problem, I really cant talk to him about our relationship... I dont know he always wants to talk about something else. I know that he is unhappy too. I just called about counseling and its WAY too expensive at this moment... I guess I just need to sit him down and tell him exactly how he makes me feel. I mean he cant even say he loves me before he leaves for work... I say it to him but no reply morning after morning. He says it other times, but just in that hurried way, ya know? like "love ya". I will just have to get him to make the time to sit down and really talk because I cant deal with the stress of being with someone who cant even say he loves you. Back when we first got together, he like talking about getting married, and now at almost two years Im not allowed to say that word in front of him. Its just hurtful... I will talk to him though, hopefully this weekend.


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## michal_cohen (Jul 27, 2007)

that suck

i think you should stop tellin him that you love him and see how he will act

maybe he will feel that something wrong and he will be the one who will come and say i love you first


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## tracybryant (Jul 27, 2007)

Yeah I just made a list of stuff Im going to do. That was one of them. Some others are:

Quit asking how his day was, or acting like I care how it was.

Quit calling him, let him call me to make plans.

Quit giving him details about my day that he doesnt care about.

WIth some others added, but yeah Im gonna see what happens with that, things can either, get better, or I get dumped. EIther way, we'll see what happens.


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## michal_cohen (Jul 27, 2007)

you should stop touching him too

you know

i hate when someone take you for granted your guy should treat you like the queen you are

and to appriceat the fact that you are there for him


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## tracybryant (Jul 27, 2007)

Thank you, I hate it too, its like I have so much respect and appreciation for him. And I get nothing in return, but the times I have dumped him he has come CRYING back to me in a few days. He will treat me awesome for about a week, and then start griping about everything. Let me tell ya too, when I want sex, its 'nah im too tired'. When he wants it, I always did it. Until this last week and I have been just acting like Im asleep when he starts pestering me for it. If im not in the mood, I'm not doing it anymore.


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## michal_cohen (Jul 27, 2007)

gosh i hate it

i had a bf for almost 9 years

and i staid only cus i loved him

i just wasted my time

he didnt allowed me to work or to see friends

and now finnaly after a 8 month im working

single...

but happy

sorry for the tipo

you are smart &amp; pretty you will find someone in no time

give him a month and see whats happen


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## Dragonfly (Jul 27, 2007)

If you can't afford councelling, there are good books available from the library that deal with relationships. A lot of peole knock Women are from Venus, Men are from Mars, but I think it has some merit.

Maybe his behavour reflects how he was raised - are his parents affectionate to each other?

As a rule, boys are discouraged from showing much emotion - except anger.

Maybe he is uncomfortable with displaying emotion and sentiment.

One thing I know, men hate talking about their relationships. When they hear the words "I want to talk about the relationship" or similar, it drives them crazy. Men are creatures of action, not words. If he is still with you, trust that he wants to be with you.

Tell him what you want from him. But do this in a non-threatening environment such as over dinner or out for a walk.

Ask him what he can do to assure you that he loves you.

Sorry my ideas are choppy - hope they help.


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## tracybryant (Jul 27, 2007)

Thanks, Im pretty sure that he was raised not to show affection, and his parents are separated. I do know that neither of his sisters married for love. I think that they are taught to marry for convience, I dont know. But Im going to try to talk to him tonight. Thank you so much for your advice.....


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## michal_cohen (Jul 27, 2007)

dont forget to update us


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## tracybryant (Jul 27, 2007)

I will update you guys, but I probably wont talk with him about it tonight. I decided Im goin out with my girls to take my mind off of this. We're going to Applebees! ha ha havent been there in awhile, kinda feel like getting sh*tfaced  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" /> ha ha anyways thanks so much and updates coming soon!

Well, here's the update..... bad day. Thats all I can say. I think that he is just as miserable as i am at the moment.... who knows though. Still havent talked to him about it. We havent had the chance to be alone yet. I just know that both of us are getting ill about the smallest things today and its getting really annoying.... oh well though... Hopefully we'll get some alone time soon..... Thanks guys


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## michal_cohen (Jul 28, 2007)

i found that and tought that its funny

its just for the lugh offcours


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## BloodMittens (Jul 28, 2007)

Originally Posted by *tracybryant* /img/forum/go_quote.gif Thats part of the problem, I really cant talk to him about our relationship... I dont know he always wants to talk about something else. I know that he is unhappy too. I just called about counseling and its WAY too expensive at this moment... I guess I just need to sit him down and tell him exactly how he makes me feel. I mean he cant even say he loves me before he leaves for work... I say it to him but no reply morning after morning. He says it other times, but just in that hurried way, ya know? like "love ya". I will just have to get him to make the time to sit down and really talk because I cant deal with the stress of being with someone who cant even say he loves you. Back when we first got together, he like talking about getting married, and now at almost two years Im not allowed to say that word in front of him. Its just hurtful... I will talk to him though, hopefully this weekend. Oh honey. I know how you feel. But I suggest you talk to him and try and get to know what he's feeling. If he says "I don't wanna talk about it." Like mine does, just say "Well, when are we going to? Never?" Sometimes guys just need a good kick in the ass too. I left mine, because I was sick of him being disrespectful towards me around our friends, and other reasons. He ended up running after me two days later begging me to take him back. Since then, he's proposed, and has been very careful around our friends.


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## mayyami (Jul 30, 2007)

LoL, it's all right babe, hope it gets better.

Yes, boys are stupid


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## xxevrsoswtxx (Jul 30, 2007)

been there, and its just not worth the pain and grief


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## Saje (Jul 30, 2007)

So... does he just not say I love you or he just completely doesnt do anything at all to show you that he does love you?

Words are just words.

Does he help you with things, does he do things you would consider, no matter how small or insignificant on your part, that will show you that he does care for you? (Like being obsessed with washing your car or making sure you drink water or something like that)

Does he still hold you? Does he ask you anything about your day?

Sorry for all the questions, I'm just trying to clarify what you want from him.

But Im sorry youre feeling this way though... hopefully it will get better, and I do hope, irregardless of all that, that he does try to make you happy if he sees that you are sad.


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## pinksugar (Jul 30, 2007)

agreed. Hope he pulls his socks up and starts treating you like the special person you are! don't forget to update us!


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## tracybryant (Aug 3, 2007)

Well, things are getting a little better.. its just hard to talk to him. He doesnt really like to talk that much. Im slowly telling him stuff that hurts me though, just a little at a time. I dont wanna make him feel like crap ya know? I just dont think he even realizes how things he does or doesnt do, make me feel.. so yeah im working on it. We'll see if anything changes in the next few weeks, I cant expect it to happen overnight.. Thanks you guys


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