# About the guys



## Lia (Jul 7, 2006)

Well, by peer pressure (lol), i decided to write a little about these guys that are my friends, crushes (past and present) and also co-workers. Also it's something that i don't talk about with NOBODY. I don't like to tell my friends that i have a crush on somebody, because everybody keeps me asking about it, wanting to know, making fun with it, and even judging me a little because of my choice. I feel extremely uncomfortable.

I mentioned on the looks topic that i have these 2 co-workers. Well , let's start from the beggining:

- Back in the 1st year i went to a basic experimental surgery course promoted by the LCE (it's the letters of experimental surgery laboratory in portuguese). In one part of the course, which was a class about how to dress up to perform a surgery (dress a surgical gown, scrub yourself, etc) i had this monitor that had a great smile and super cute and said "you have a beautiful name" . It was soo sweet and touched me very deeply, but i didn't remember his name.

- When i entered on the lab (the LCE) on the 2nd year and started to be trained to teach on the same surgery course that i did on 1st year, i met that monitor again , and finally discovered his name (that for privacy reasons i won't tell). He was such a sweet guy and helpful and i got closer to him. One day while on training , i started to cry in front of him, because i was too afraid that i wouldn't be able to teach the courses because i was with low grades on the tests that were performed at the lab and also i talked too much and didn't have a lot of teaching skills... He got so preocupied (he told me that later), he wondered if it wasnt his fault ...

- Ok, lets FF . We started to talk on MSN , and we got very close, since i was trying to make him fall in love with me and i had to open myself in order to do it... Well, that task wasn't successful (despite the fact that he told me one day that if he hadn't a girlfriend , he would kiss me - it was one day that we were alone at the lab, and i went there just to give him a cd - originally some colleagues would do a surgery on a rat and i wanted to watch, but no one told me that they unscheduled it - i was with a sore throat on the day and was with a deeper voice , and we got the same bus - i was going home and he was going to shopping center - and he thought that i was giving him clues that i wanted to stay with him, but he wasnt sure. In fact i wasn't - the voice was because i yelled a lot on a rock show on saturday, i'm too shy to try anything and he asked me - later, on msn - why i wouldn't look him in the eyes while talking - that's a problem that i started working only recently - i used to have a big difficulty to talk and look someone in the eye)

- Well, let's return to topic. I think that 2 days later, my colleague (Rita) asked me if i could take some pics of the proceedings of her work because the lab didn't have a digi camera anymore and i had a good camera. I said ok, i went to the lab on the day, but they decided not to take the pictures that day. The black shirt guy and Rita were co-workers (i knew about that) and also the surgical gown guy. They were needing one more person to help with the work they were doing, and since i was there, he asked me if i wanted to enter in the work. I said "Ok"

Let's take a break here now , because i'm tired of writing and also i have to explain a bit about the system we work in the lab:

Our laboratory works like residency: there's the 1st year "residents" (e1), 2nd year "residents" (e2) and 3rd year (e3). Last year i was an E1, as well as Rita. The black shirt guy was a E2, and also he was Rita's co-worker (it's like that, every E1 has to write a project that he/she wants to develop on the years in the lab, and to write it we have to choose an e2 to be our co-worker - give guidance and help). And the surgical gown guy (e3) was the e2 of the black shirt guy .

PS: this is my 700th post! Only more 100 to get Video Access! Woohoo!


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## LVA (Jul 8, 2006)

thx for sharing that, it's nice to get it all out though, wouldn't u agree ?




. wow .... u have less than a hundred to go now .. i'm cheering for u !!


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## Lia (Jul 8, 2006)

Yeah, for sure



I got tired of writing so much (and i left some parts out, because i'm lazy right now and half asleep - although it's only 10 pm here).

Now you know how i've "fallen" into the guys work group



Well , time passed, my crush on the guy started to decrease... And now let's focus on the surgical gown guy... Ah and since i'm already lazy, let's spill out the beans (lol): the guy in black shirt is called Thiago and the other is Diego.


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## LVA (Jul 8, 2006)

LoL lia



must have had a long day if you are tired already ? I'm glad u typed it all out, i was reading about it in the other forum "pesonality/looks" thread and ... i have to admit .. . i got kinda nosy and wanted to know more .. LoL. Wow guys in Brazil are hot! .. hee hee

btw - can't believe u just spilled the beans .. i'm telling ... hee hee


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## Lia (Jul 8, 2006)

Well, about Diego i have to rewind a little on our time scale



And also more explanations about the lab:

Last year, every Thursday we had liver transplantation surgeries (this year they still occur , but on Wednesdays). They are performed in pigs, and it's the development of a training course for local surgeons, since in my state we still don't have the complete transplantation surgery (just the 1st part, where they remove the liver from the donor).

I participate of those surgeries since last year, because i'm from transplantation group. Every e1 has to choose a group to work through years in lab (although it doesn't mean you can't work in anothers). And Diego participates too (he does the pig anaesthesia, and now he's in 5th year of medschool).

No, i didn't start noticing him a long time ago. He was just the average guy who i almost never had contact with, even though he was known as a very prestative person (even his nickname is related to that - everybody calls it as Severa, which is a short for Severino , who's a character on a tv show who always are there to help to sort things out).

Let's return to transplantation. One of my bosses, Rodrigo, is also a very good friend of mine and lives very near my home (and Diego's home too), so i started to ask him for a ride home after surgeries, because they always finished late. So i started to become a friend of Rodrigo and Bruna, who was her girlfriend at the time and also an e3 last year (as Diego). She, along with Cynthia (another e3), were the 'leaders' of transplantation group. Since i started to have a lot of contact with her, she informally passed on a lot of duties to me as a future 'leader' of the group.

Let's FF to the beggining of this year: since Bruna passed me a lot of duties, i started to rule the transplantations , like schedule with Dr Marcus (the big boss) the surgeries, tell everybody the date and hour, do the arrangments and etc. Then i started to have more contact with Diego , since i had to tell him the hour of surgery, ask him if was needed anything else and etc. Ah, and working with Diego, Thiago and Rita almost every saturday brought us together





I started to notice him more like the beggining of march or something...

Big parenthesis here. I have a 'lil problem': the last time i fell in love was like 6 years ago. I don't know why, but i just 'can't' fall in love anymore ... I didn't have the "thing" anymore... And i know that i wasn't in love neither with Thiago and i'm not in love with Diego, i just like them and have a crush (and want to kiss).

But because of that, sometimes i feel a lil bit lonely and look foward to someone that i might like to have around; i looked after Thiago because he has the things that i don't have: he's sweet and knows how to treat people (i need improvement in both areas). Now i look after Diego because he's just like me, which might be a problem, because none of us is a big talker and i have big difficulty to get closer to him. We like the same musics, the same things (games, soccer, cars)... He treats me like 'one of the guys'.

Originally Posted by *LVA* LoL lia



must have had a long day if you are tired already ? I'm glad u typed it all out, i was reading about it in the other forum "pesonality/looks" thread and ... i have to admit .. . i got kinda nosy and wanted to know more .. LoL. Wow guys in Brazil are hot! .. hee hee
btw - can't believe u just spilled the beans .. i'm telling ... hee hee

Ah, yesterday i went to sleep late and today i woke up 6:45 am... I went to hospital 7:30 am to begin a research that me and my sister are doing about the use of phytotherapical substances by the women that seek for medical attention on the hospital Santa Casa (Sacred House?)... We left at 10 and we went to university , my sister wanted to see her Psychiatry grades and i wanted to check if my money had been released



... On afternoon i went to the lab (which is in the university) and done a lot of things too, and returned by 5pm
Ok, let's continue. This year i began to have more contact with Diego, since i was leading the transplantation group and Rita, everytime we had to have a meeting to do work, she asked me to tell the guys, since i'm always on msn (lol) and i have both msn's. The crush on Thiago had passed already.

Well, i started to pay attention around me



And i started to try to get closer to Diego (still not very successful, since he treats me as one of the guys - that's another topic that i'll discuss later). Then, one day, around easter i think, i had, i dreamt with him, and we were at surgery, i was sitting next to him and we were holding hands. Not exactly holding hands, but both our hands were loose (we were sitting on stools , not chairs) and we were like touching our fingers (i don't know how to describe it in english). It felt so good... I have a thing about holding hands with somebody, i actually prefer to have someone to hold my hand rather than hugging me, i feel safer. So it got in my mind and it comes back and forth, and i wonder myself : am i really with a crush on him? or i just want to?

Of course, if i wanted really to be with Diego i would just tell Thiago and ask him to help me, since Diego and Thiago are best friends... But i'm not sure of what i want... Sometimes i think it's just my hormones buggin me


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## Andi (Jul 8, 2006)

hm I canÂ´t tell you if you have a crush on either one of those guys, but if you donÂ´t know if you do or donÂ´t...then you probably donÂ´t have REAL crush, maybe you just WANT to have one (did that make any sense LOL?)

and about not being able to fall in love anymore...I think you havenÂ´t met the right guy for that again and neither one of the 2 guys seem to be falling in love-potential right now. I went through a similar thing a looong while ago

I alway had crushes...IÂ´d have crush on somebody, then I lost interest, found another crush. nothing mutual at that time, I was only secretly thinking of them and hoping something would happen. which of course never did cause I never sent out any signals. and now I know I just wasnÂ´t ready to really fall in love.

crushes are easier..you donÂ´t have to tell anyone about it, especially not the person you have a crush on. and both of the guys (one has a gf, the other one treats you like one of the guys) donÂ´t seem to be making any big steps in your direction right now...so things are not moving forward, right?

maybe you are unknowingly protecting yourself from possibly opening up to a person and the possiblity of getting hurt? at least thatÂ´s what was my reason. sorry if IÂ´m totally wrong here. I can just assume because I donÂ´t personally know you. but a lot of times girls have similar fears and problems.


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## Lia (Jul 8, 2006)

It makes totally sense actually... I wonder myself these questions everytime.

I'm a dumb person when it comes to love, really. I'm totally blind to signals . The person has to come to me and say "I like you", not try to give me clues, because i won't see them.

Okay, there's a little on my part too, i'm not putting a lot of effort on the crush thing



Not how i did last year with Thiago, that i opened my heart to him pratically, although i never came to a point where i told him that i liked him. He knows more about my feelings than any friend that i have . I got his interest, and if i wanted i could have kissed him and stayed with him for a time, but it didn't feel right to me, because he had a girlfriend and he would be cheating her. As a matter of fact, he purposed to me once to stay with me, kiss me (and teach me how), but i chickened out when i realised he was talking serious, despite of the fact he had drunk a few glasses of wine. We were talking on msn and when he started to talk about it, i just followed because i was just playing around. But when it got serious, i backed out. I know that if i had follow with it i'd regret enourmously


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## Andi (Jul 8, 2006)

Originally Posted by *lia_matos* It makes totally sense actually... I wonder myself these questions everytime. 
I'm a dumb person when it comes to love, really. I'm totally blind to signals . The person has to come to me and say "I like you", not try to give me clues, because i won't see them.

Okay, there's a little on my part too, i'm not putting a lot of effort on the crush thing



Not how i did last year with Thiago, that i opened my heart to him pratically, although i never came to a point where i told him that i liked him. He knows more about my feelings than any friend that i have . I got his interest, and if i wanted i could have kissed him and stayed with him for a time, but it didn't feel right to me, because he had a girlfriend and he would be cheating her. As a matter of fact, he purposed to me once to stay with me, kiss me (and teach me how), but i chickened out when i realised he was talking serious, despite of the fact he had drunk a few glasses of wine. We were talking on msn and when he started to talk about it, i just followed because i was just playing around. But when it got serious, i backed out. I know that if i had follow with it i'd regret enourmously

yeah i think you would have regret that too. obviously he is attracted to you as well as likes you as a person, but like you said heÂ´d be cheating on his girlfriend. sounds like you are making your love life enough complicated as it already is...so you donÂ´t want any more things to make your life hard.
itÂ´s natural to chicken out from a first kiss, oh and the circumstances under which it would have happened are not the best.

I donÂ´t know what more to say on this, youÂ´re gonna have to jump into the cold water (german saying, dunno if it translates into english) and show a guy if you like him. maybe not necessarily Thiago cause he has a gf but what about DÃ­ego? just tell him you like him in a way thatÂ´s maybe not too obvious. just by being a bit flirty maybe so if it doesnÂ´t turn out the way you want it to you can just say it was a joke

geez I am not being a big help here, sorry





It sounds like I was the same way as you are...but I have grown and gotten over my insecurities just by realizing that itÂ´s not true that nobody notices me. I just didnÂ´t let anyone notice me cause I was hiding behing my shyness. once I finally got it I was more and more comfortable with guys. they werenÂ´t "scary" to me anymore...and hey now I am one big flirt, I flirt without even noticing it, most of the times without any intentions though which leads guys into thinking I want them..but thatÂ´s a different story. I guess IÂ´m a tease LOL


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## Lia (Jul 8, 2006)

Haha



But i changed a lot, now i'm all about showing off myself. I dyed my hair, started to wear make-up , started to talk more



But i know that i have to "pay in order to see" (it's the cold water thing, but on a brazilian way - pagar pra ver) . I'm growing now (and Thiago was a big help, he'd be an awesome pyschologist), and despite the fact that i still doesn't have a lot of ability to flirt, i'm working on it (hey, 8 months ago i'd almost never talk to someone looking into the eye).

Well , like i said, why i feel like Diego treats me like one of the guys:

This year, 3 girls joined LCE , along with the new e1s. These 3 girls i nicknamed them informally 'plastics' (from mean girls), because, well , they're like the plastics, but they're nice people not mean and etc. These 3 girls are big friends with Diego and Thiago, and they're pretty , sympathetic, fun and outgoing. I see the way the guys treat them and i get a little jealous (a little no, veeery, i noticed that i am a VERY jealous person, but i don't talk). But the fact is, they're a lot more outgoing than i am. And Diego and i talk about basically men stuff, music (funny, i was trying to make him listen to 'my' type of rock'n'roll - he prefers american rock, more like punk rock, and i prefer british rock - although i like american too) and general stuff only.

Ah , and as i said before, if i really mean to 'bite the bullet' i'll ask help from Thiago - he surely would help me - but i'm undecided about doing it or not.


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## SierraWren (Jul 9, 2006)

Originally Posted by *Andi* hm I canÂ´t tell you if you have a crush on either one of those guys, but if you donÂ´t know if you do or donÂ´t...then you probably donÂ´t have REAL crush, maybe you just WANT to have one (did that make any sense LOL?)
and about not being able to fall in love anymore...I think you havenÂ´t met the right guy for that again and neither one of the 2 guys seem to be falling in love-potential right now. I went through a similar thing a looong while ago

I alway had crushes...IÂ´d have crush on somebody, then I lost interest, found another crush. nothing mutual at that time, I was only secretly thinking of them and hoping something would happen. which of course never did cause I never sent out any signals. and now I know I just wasnÂ´t ready to really fall in love.

crushes are easier..you donÂ´t have to tell anyone about it, especially not the person you have a crush on. and both of the guys (one has a gf, the other one treats you like one of the guys) donÂ´t seem to be making any big steps in your direction right now...so things are not moving forward, right?

maybe you are unknowingly protecting yourself from possibly opening up to a person and the possiblity of getting hurt? at least thatÂ´s what was my reason. sorry if IÂ´m totally wrong here. I can just assume because I donÂ´t personally know you. but a lot of times girls have similar fears and problems.

Hmmm...Lia...what a thread title, possibly the steamist we've had in quite some time!And what a thread! You actually DO have your hands full, romance wise; I think you're just a little unsure when(and with who!)to go out with. And I guess they're not making it much easier...I know that, for myself, what Andi says holds true: sometimes when I was young and in school,I would develop crushes on people with whom romance was not that likely to work out, and I think now it was to prevent the romance altogether.I was very shy and could look NO ONE, male or female, in the eye; I was always afraid,with my crushes, of seeming too eager and of saying the wrong thing...And to be truthful,I didn't even fall"in love"until I was 22 years old!I was SURE something was wrong with me--but I was just, romantically at least,a sort of cautious person, afraid,for various reasons, to be vulnerable...And,most of all, because the right one hadn't come along yet! When he does--well, you'll know. All the guessing games about it will finally leave you in peace; you'll eventually be sure, or right away...

Thank you so much for your lovely PM--that made my day! Tell you what:It's not yet quite 8 a.m. here and I'm too tired to write what I had wanted about your thread; I'll P.M. you instead, later in the day, okay? Take care, and be careful(take it slow) around all these boys!!!


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## Lia (Jul 9, 2006)

Thanks for writing



I enjoyed writing this, actually... Even though when i remember it's getting now a lil blurred... And i loved to write you a PM, i meant to write more, but i'm such a forgetful person that i forgot what i was meant to write.

Ah, an update: for those who were rooting for Thiago, he told me last week that he and his girlfriend were giving a break... He said it was because of her family, but i didn't ask more , even though i imagine why it is: he told me that she isn't really allowed to go out, and etc, and the girl is already on 6th year of med school (the last one), so she's probably around 23, and her parents don't even imagine that she goes to his house... Come on, a girl of her age treated like a 12-year-old isn't something very pleaseant to date. He has a liberty that she doesn't have, because he's from another city and lives with his friends here, so no parents to be bugging him.

But i'm not in the mood to try anything with him... It passed already (of course, if he did something i wouldn't say no



)


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