# Monday is my night to do the dishes. Is this "fair"?



## MindySue (Sep 18, 2007)

Okay so my roomates, and im leaving myself out of this, have a habit of piling up the dishes. Im barely ever here, and when I am I usually eat frozen dinners out of their containers and throw it away. I always immediately clean my dishes afterwards, like drinking glasses and silverware, and leave them to dry. They just pile them in the sink. One of them put a sign up asking to wash their dishes after they dirty them but that didn't work out. Now one of my roomates, Robyn, has assigned everyone a day to do dishes. I didn't complain at first and took monday. I went out last night and wasnt home. Not to mention I didn't even dirty ANY dishes at all since sunday when it was assigned to me for monday. Now im looking at a sink FULL of dishes, to the top, completely a mess, and not ONE of them is mine..yet it's my job to clean them. Is this fair? Im honestly asking, I barely ever dirty the dishes and always clean them after, and they leave them there. Okay, whatever, but to make me do it when I don't even dirty them that way? I don't think it's fair..and I don't want to spend like a half hour cleaning dishes when none of them are mine.

I thought the idea was good at the time but now I realize I never really contribute to the dirty dishes and now i'll have to clean a sink FULL of them every monday?

It keeps getting bigger and bigger, I know theyre waiting for me to clean them since I didn't yesterday.

One last thing, the only dishes that are mine are the clean ones in the drying thing, waiting to be put away. How nice.


----------



## michal_cohen (Sep 18, 2007)

i think that becuse you are room mates you should honer the ruels even if they not fair

i really understend you but its not like you need to do them everyday


----------



## MindySue (Sep 18, 2007)

Okay. I guess so. I kind of see it that way but at the same time I feel like theyre using me. Like, theyre letting them pile up right now more than they ever have, because they know they don't have to wash them. I bet when it comes their days they will make a minimal mess.


----------



## Bexy (Sep 18, 2007)

That would make me mad too. I would go with it if everyone else is and start using as much stuff as you can to put in the sink on the day that they have to do them so they see what it is like.

Then when everyone starts to complain then you all can discuss it and go back to each cleaning your own.


----------



## MindySue (Sep 18, 2007)

Okay. That is a possibility.

(Im waiting to hear from a few more people on if I should clean them before I do. Then if I do clean them you bet ill be dirtying a ton the next few days)


----------



## Bexy (Sep 18, 2007)

I know what you mean, Mindy. I would not want to do it either. But the way I see it, you have to live with these people and you all just dedided that you all wanted to change it to have one person do them each day, so why rock the boat. I know it sucks that you have a huge pile, but hopefully the next person has a huge pile as well.

What I want to know is how is this really going to work? I mean you were supposed to do them yesterday, now it is Tuesday and someone else has to do them today, but once you do them there will not be any to do, kwim.


----------



## MindySue (Sep 18, 2007)

Originally Posted by *Bexy* /img/forum/go_quote.gif I know what you mean, Mindy. I would not want to do it either. But the way I see it, you have to live with these people and you all just dedided that you all wanted to change it to have one person do them each day, so why rock the boat. I know it sucks that you have a huge pile, but hopefully the next person has a huge pile as well. 
What I want to know is how is this really going to work? I mean you were supposed to do them yesterday, now it is Tuesday and someone else has to do them today, but once you do them there will not be any to do, kwim.

I didn't even decide. she came up to me and said we decided we are gonna have a day we all do the dishes. what day do you want, monday or friday. so I said monday. But oh well.
They are assigned every two days. I have Monday, another wed, fri, sunday. so the next one isnt gonna be done till tomarrow.


----------



## jessiej78 (Sep 18, 2007)

I personally would tell them how you feel. If they can't handle that, then that is their problem. I think they are taking advantage of you, if you really want my opinion.


----------



## MindySue (Sep 18, 2007)

I might do that too. If they ask why I havent done them yet, explain.

Not sure yet.


----------



## xEdenx (Sep 18, 2007)

I wouldn't do them. If i didn't dirty any then they aren't my responsibility... also it's not fair that you have to clean dishes that the people before you didnt wash.


----------



## CellyCell (Sep 18, 2007)

You know what, buy your own separate plates and cups (cheap ones, of course. haha). So you know what's yours. Or assign plates/cups so you all know what belongs to who (I'm going assume the plates are different colors or designs?)

Tell them, that this whole "pick a day to clean" isn't working out because you rarely eat there anyways. And that they should learn to clean up after themselves.


----------



## MindySue (Sep 18, 2007)

We all have a ton of stuff that nothing else will fit, and we all use eachothers stuff..I like your idea that we should clean after ourselves. Theres just too much stuff to add more to it.

(I was waiting for you to answer celly, I value your opinion, you're always honest and blunt..love that. I was actually expecting more of a 'screw that!' type of answer haha)


----------



## CellyCell (Sep 18, 2007)

Haha. Thanks. I'm in a rush to head to work that's why but if you asked for my honest opinion...

...in my mind I was like, "f*ck that. who the hell wants to touch other people's dirty dishes?"

Then I had an image of you standing over a sink, gagging at left over food. Argh. No kidding, I was really thinking that because that's what I do when I have to wash dishes.

OH. You know what I do? To get out of doing lots of dishes - I don't wash them fully. Like, I'll leave suds or some crumbs left on the plate. I'll get yelled at for not cleaning the plates properly, but it gets me off from not having to wash them for the moment. Maybe you can do that - just be like, "it's not my forte'" haha.

Anyways, who the f*ck wants to touch random people's plate with left over food?

Ew.

But yeah - assigning plates/cups would be best. Or like, buy yourself a 1 plate, 1 bowl, 1 cup and utensils. Hello Kitty brand if you like. Haha. They have them!


----------



## puncturedskirt (Sep 18, 2007)

Originally Posted by *CellyCell* /img/forum/go_quote.gif You know what, buy your own separate plates and cups (cheap ones, of course. haha). So you know what's yours. Or assign plates/cups so you all know what belongs to who (I'm going assume the plates are different colors or designs?)
Tell them, that this whole "pick a day to clean" isn't working out because you rarely eat there anyways. And that they should learn to clean up after themselves.

I'd say do what she says. I wouldn't clean someone elses dishes because they can't take 10 minutes out of their time.


----------



## MindySue (Sep 18, 2007)

Thanks. I'll do that.

I hate the idea of them making me clean their shit, none of it is mine.


----------



## Sreyomac (Sep 18, 2007)

Quote:
You know what, buy your own separate plates and cups (cheap ones, of course. haha). So you know what's yours. Or assign plates/cups so you all know what belongs to who (I'm going assume the plates are different colors or designs?)
Tell them, that this whole "pick a day to clean" isn't working out because you rarely eat there anyways. And that they should learn to clean up after themselves

Thats what i would do too. another thing i would do is clean out what you dont use and need, like you dont need 20 plates etc... Whats not there cant get dirty... if ya know what i mean. Hope it all works out


----------



## Aquilah (Sep 18, 2007)

Honestly, for me, I wouldn't do them. I'd tell them exactly what you said. "Look, I'm not home very often at all. When I use dishes, I clean them. So, if there's 10 plates, 5 cups, and goodness knows how many utensils, why should I have to clean them if not a single one of them are mine? My suggestion, is that we all do our own dishes."

Now, I'm pretty sure they won't go with this. In which case, then you're pitting yourself against them, and you might even be with what I previously suggested.

Another option, buy your own dishes, let them SEE your new dishes, and let them know those are the ONLY dishes you're washing from here on out. Even better, as much as it would suck, use paper plates and plastic utensils. If you have to use the cooking utensils, then wash them as soon as you're done, dry them, and put them away.

Friday after work I came home to at least 75% of my dishes dirty all over my kitchen, thanks to my MIL. Since we don't have a dishwasher, it took me 3 "loads" to wash it all. I made sure there wasn't a single dirty dish before I left for work yesterday, and I came home to a mess. I didn't touch a damned thing! My MIL comes in this AM, and wants to complain about it?! HA! I immediately put her in her place, and informed her those were all the dishes from the day before plus maybe 2 plates (since I didn't cook last night), and given I washed her mess from Friday! Not a peep came out of her, and she proceeded to wash the dishes.

Now, yes, she's my MIL and an idiot. So, I could get away with it and my husband would've backed me on it. But, at least she knows not to try to pawn off her dishes on me. If it happens again, yes, I'll go so far as to allot her a specified amount of dishes per day, and hide the rest! Extreme, but she'll start to think twice about it!


----------



## Manda (Sep 18, 2007)

I think everyone should clean their own to avoid feelings like the ones you're having. I tell the same thing to my boyfriend- if he doesn't want to get *****ed at or be forced to do dishes when most aren't his- do his own, leave the rest and always pick up after yourself.

I would just tell the girls that yes, you did agree to this arrangement, but you find it's not working for you because you don't even leave dirty things around and you clean up after yourself and you don't feel that you should have to do other's dishes. Offer to do another job, like bathroom cleanup, take out trash, etc. so you don't seem like you're trying to get out of every cleanup job.


----------



## emily_3383 (Sep 18, 2007)

Well Mindy I would say yes but im the type that cleans my stuff as soon as im finished. I think it has to do with how people are used to doing things. I really hate when the sink piles up in my house so i try to clean all my stuff. I would have a talk with them. In a way it is ok since everyone will have a day to do the dishes but on the other hand it would just be easier if people just clean their own stuff!

Yeah i agree with CellyCell get your own plate, cups and untensils and thats it. lol


----------



## MindySue (Sep 19, 2007)

Great advice Aquilah. Everyone has been really thankful. Theyre still there and I think im gonna go to my bfs so theyll be there by tomarrow in which wed is robyns day to do them




we will see what happens.


----------



## pinksugar (Sep 19, 2007)

well... I say everyone should do their own. Use them and wash them. And I also think if everyone had their own dishes and washed them then that'd be good but I can see how that wouldn't work..

I'd probably do it the first time, but then say, look, there are heaps of dishes here, this isnt fair since I havent USED any dishes, and then do what the other girls suggested. Ask that the system be changed.

I guess it's all part of living together. Annoying, but that's how it is. Good luck, hopefully you wont have to keep on washing away at them!


----------



## princess_20 (Sep 19, 2007)

everyone gave some really good advices but I think u can all try to be friends and do it together after all u are roomates try to make it look like it's a fun thing to do with them.... good luck and keep us posted!


----------



## AngelaGM (Sep 19, 2007)

I think you could avoid a conflict and just do those dishes on Monday. Sometimes it is wise to pick your battles.


----------



## MindySue (Sep 19, 2007)

It would be way too crowded for 4 people at one little sink doing all the dishes.

Good sugguestion though

The dishes were done. Not by me.

And I never even said anything! Hm!


----------



## BeautifullyMADE (Sep 19, 2007)

Well washing dishes isn't my thing either. Since you guys agreed upon taking on the responsibility of cleaning them and agreed to your assigned date, in this case it is fair. BUT,I believe that your roomies are just tryin to get over on ya. If your'e thinkin that maybe the schedule should be changed then let them know about it. I had to make my "chores" fun, so try listening to your fav. radio station or cd while doin the dishes. Time will go by way faster!


----------



## La_Mari (Sep 19, 2007)

I hate dishes lol. But everyone should really wash their own dishes. My mom used to get mad that the living room was always messy.... guess what? It was her crap, I believe in justice and fairness in America.... or Canada, or wherever for that matter.


----------



## MissMissy (Sep 20, 2007)

i would tel them i think we need to go back to cleaning your own dishes;; you dont clean them.. then whatever have mold and bacteria grow.. and you will eventually wash your own dishes after you have no clean ones left

cause i would be *****en as well


----------



## princess_20 (Sep 20, 2007)

Originally Posted by *MindySue* /img/forum/go_quote.gif It would be way too crowded for 4 people at one little sink doing all the dishes.
Good sugguestion though

The dishes were done. Not by me.

And I never even said anything! Hm!

yes I can see your point...

so mybe you can do cleaning days like 2 time a week put some really good CD that u all like and each girl do something


----------



## JennyMcL (Sep 20, 2007)

First, I would do the ones you were assigned. Then I would have a blunt discussion that since none of the dishes are yours its just not fair.


----------



## Dragonfly (Sep 20, 2007)

Hate to say this but if you are having problems already, things will be unbearable in a few more months. Either sit down with your roomates and work out a rotating schedule you can all live with.

Or else ask to be put in another apartment with girls you will be more compatible with.


----------



## MindySue (Sep 20, 2007)

we get along fine and they havent even spoken to me about the dishes, but someones been keeping the sink clean. and i have beencleaning my own as per usual.


----------



## CellyCell (Sep 20, 2007)

Haha. That's good. Well, if it gets brought up - just tell your reason why you won't do it.

If they don't like it - tell them kiss ass.


----------



## magosienne (Sep 20, 2007)

i think they're abusing, so i would do it on monday as it is my assigned day, for once. then i'd tell them it's not fair i should wash all their dishes, and if they're not happy, well they can kiss ass like Celly said.

i don't know who has been cleaning up the sink, but i think this is not fair either for that person. it is, at least for me, basic politeness to clean your own dishes. if your roomates wanted to raise bacteria, they should have chosen biology lol.


----------



## PaperFlowers (Sep 24, 2007)

I'm glad they're cleaning up, because it's not really fair for you to have to clean if you don't mess up you know?


----------



## CandyApple (Sep 28, 2007)

I would march right up to her and say "Look I'm going to wash the dishes I use and that's that, if you want to assign days to other people by all means... but I'm not anyone's maid!" Too bad if she doesn't like it. Why should you have to clean other peoples dirty dishes!


----------



## Clouded_Storm (Sep 28, 2007)

I'm glad someone is keeping things clean in the sink, cause I don't like it when people are taken advantage of like that. And I do agree that everyone should wash their own cause things would get done.

Keep us posted on this.. I would really like to know how things are going


----------



## Lauren (Sep 30, 2007)

I'm glad the problem has been taken care of since, but I agree with everyone that said not to do them! Everyone should do their own dishes, that's not fair to make you do them if you didn't use any.


----------



## ~ Belle ~ (Sep 30, 2007)

No way man!! If they dirty it... THEY clean it!! I SO adhere to this even with just my DH in our house!! I was over cleaning up after people YEARS ago while living with an ex... and all his freaking friends. No, I'm a 'talk to the hand' person all the way! I figure you teach people how to treat you, and if they are all like 'ah its the weekend, Mindy will do the dishes monday... stack 'em up!' then they will take advantage of you. Let them know you are a tough cookie and that you mean business, and that you have better things to do than clean up after their grotty selves!

Good Luck..... this stuff is difficult until you are taken advantage of one too many times and you just go 'hold the phones kids.. NO MORE!!'.


----------



## pinkbundles (Sep 30, 2007)

I don't think that's very fair at all! I think you should try and push for everyone to wash their own dishes! Remind them that you are not their mother and they should pick up after themselves.

Ok, I do advise you also to say this in the most polite, yet stern manner.


----------

