# Am I overreacting or is this effed up ??? need some advice / an outsiders thoughts on this



## Barbie2 (Sep 29, 2016)

so .... I thought me and my best friend were cool until recently when I basically asked her in a voicemail if she wanted to hangout and I explained the details about going out over voicemail because she never picked up her phone so I sent her a text about it too  so she knew about it two ways through voicemail and text.She never responded to me like ever the event happened and the day of I was super pissed about her ignoring me at least thats what I think happened because no response its been three weeks and she still has not called or texted me or apologized or anything nothing what would you do ?

I should also explain that on friday before the hangout which would of been on a saturday but I never went because someone didnt get back to me. I left her a very angry text saying I dont treat my friends like sh**t and I dont wanna talk but least I told you I had a problem with you and I dont wanna talk to you for a while basically I said she hurt my feelings in a voicemail and the text was like eff you but in the voicemail I was like if you didnt wanna go you could of just told me or said you had plans or said something if u had an issue with me you should of talked to me I think I was only angry in the text which to me is justified after the fact she ignored me completely.Am I over reacted or is my friend a total a$$ ?

What should I do ? or what would you do I already tried talking to her and multiple times like I said tried to confront the issue but no response ...

To make matters worse my birthdays coming up and every yr for her b day I seriously went all out bought her gifts made her gifts cards the works I would go all out for her and it actually pisses me off shes doing this very close to an important special day for me that can potentially be ruined by her actions.Also we went out twice like  last month and she never acted like she had a problem with me and this was totally out of the blue.I thought we were cool.

Also last time we talked on the phone she was rude to me but for no legit reason I was sick and answered the phone and she said oh I didnt wanna talk to you  I was trying to call someone else I just wanted to see if my phone worked ? um yeah it works your a real piece of work but of course I never said anything to her about that even though that was effin rude as hell .


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## Geek2 (Sep 29, 2016)

maybe your friend got really busy or something. She probably should have gotten back to you and say she couldn't make it and thanks for the invite but maybe something happened and she was not able to or was overwhelmed because of something else


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## Barbie2 (Sep 29, 2016)

Reija said:


> maybe your friend got really busy or something. She probably should have gotten back to you and say she couldn't make it and thanks for the invite but maybe something happened and she was not able to or was overwhelmed because of something else


Yeah its a possibility but she still has not spoken to me and even if she did have plans or was really busy she could of said that and I would of been okay with that but since she didnt say anything it leaves me more confused.She does this thing people do when their mad and she shut downs and doesnt say anything for months though so I dont know which situation it is....this time

She has a brand new iphone so its not like she can say she didnt get the text or calls she just didnt wanna respond either way I think I at least deserve an explanation.


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## Geek2 (Sep 29, 2016)

sounds like she might have some things she needs to work on too. Maybe give her some space for a while and see how it goes


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## Barbie2 (Sep 30, 2016)

Reija said:


> sounds like she might have some things she needs to work on too. Maybe give her some space for a while and see how it goes


Yeah I havent called her since .I was waiting for her to say something to me first.


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## cpl100 (Sep 30, 2016)

Time has taught me:  Don't spend your time chasing people who do not want to be in your life.  Spend it with  (and on) the people you enjoy in your life.

The ball is in her court...give her the space to either make it right or walk away.  Either way, your life is better.

Alternatively, if this is a very dear friend with whom you sincerely wish to maintain the friendship, you have two other choices:

a. assume the best of her and that she had a valid reason for the miscommunication and let it go.

b. be the bigger person and reach out to her (personally, not in a text or online) and tell her just that:  you value her friendship and wonder why she has been distant.

Whatever way it works out...let it go.  And the reason people end up letting things go (sooner or later) is that holding on is a heavy burden on YOU.

Best of luck!


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## Barbie2 (Oct 3, 2016)

cpl100 said:


> Time has taught me:  Don't spend your time chasing people who do not want to be in your life.  Spend it with  (and on) the people you enjoy in your life.
> 
> The ball is in her court...give her the space to either make it right or walk away.  Either way, your life is better.
> 
> ...


Yeah I 'am getting older and feel like I dont want people I call friends to walk all over me , use me and treat me like sh*t constantly.Like I guess she doesnt care I was not even worth a text or a call thats pretty effed up to me especially considering we used to go out every halloween together and hangout it was like a tradition and my b- days this month too so this was great timing on her part to end our friendship that was classy of her and mature of her to not even respond to me.I know I have to walk away and end it especially if this is really how she treats people she calls her friends.Its just dissapointing to me because this was a 5 yr friendship I knew this person for a very long time  even before the 5 yrs we went to school together so its even longer than that...It also bothers me how months from now she will probably give me a call and say hey like nothing happened and Idont think I can act cool about this situation.I dont know if I can handle it emotionally I have had friends before this who treated me like dirt and it really affects me and makes me shut down not talk and just be depressed about it.It gives me anxiety looking at my phone everyday knowing I still have no response to my questions...

I know I sound angry but I'am more upset than anything like I have cried over this situation multiple times it has affected my mood recently and made me more closed off towards people.I'am a very sensitive person which peopleon here dont know but I really am a very sweet nice girl so when something like this happens to me it shakes my entire world.I feel like I cant really let it go because I dont have closure and have no idea what really happened until I get that I'am either going to still be upset or angry or sad about it.Like I said I did reach out to her I dont have facebook like she does and she knows that the only way I can contact her is through her phone.I told her how I felt and like I said I got nothing in return from her.Their is nothing else I can do because I dont have control over the situation she does the balls in her court not mine I already tried talking to her and being the bigger person.I hate confrontation believe me I dont wanna talk about issues either but we clearly have a problem if she ignored me for going on almost 4 weeks now.I know she will probably end up ruining my birthday but I shouldnt be surprised because she probably planned this whole thing out and thought about it and how she was gonna do it and when...


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## Barbie2 (Oct 22, 2016)

*Update on the B****h  *- she sent a happy birthday text message never tried calling me or apologize for anything didnt say a word about the calls / texts I sent her two months ago....like wtf how fake is that you obviously dont care so why pretend like were friends again when you havent spoken to me in months .... I responded saying curse words and you owe me an apology.She never responded back to me.I feel like she wished me an agressive happy birthday like it was fake on her end and she was probably drunk because she sent it like after 3am .Shes not doing me any favors by sending me a text message.The other day I explained how she didnt talk to me for months and I thought  her sending a happy birthday message to me was fake I wrote her a text about it lengthy as hell explaining my anger and resentment towards her no response....and thats why I cursed her out and I apologized to her over that but she is the person who should be apologizing to me.I hate fake apologizing to people just to get an apology back .


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