# Lonely



## CellyCell (Jun 14, 2007)

Ive been feeling this a lot for awhile.

Dunno - just ranting and feeling bummed a bit.

Especially now that I know my ex got a new GF




(a slag non the less), I'm over him but the thought of him moving on bugs me too.

Anyone feeling the same?

Just lonely... and bored.

err - I feel pathetic. Tried keeping myself busy but my friends at the moment are going through lots of personal issues that I don't want to burden them w/ this. And my other 'friends' are just flakers I don't bother them.

I know a guy doesn't bring happiness - but I miss that type of attention. Haven't felt attractive in a long while now. Err, I dunno what I'm saying. But yeah...


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## macface (Jun 14, 2007)

I know sometimes a girl feels lonely and they need a guy just to talk or something I know what you feel dont worry about your ex you will find somebody.I also have friends who are flakkers.you could talk to me when ever you feel like this.


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## CellyCell (Jun 14, 2007)

Yeah, I have a guy friend who I talk too. But it's just not the same you know... being able to talk to someone you really like.

Thanks for the welcoming, Ill take you up on that.  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />


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## La_Mari (Jun 14, 2007)

I was feeling lonely and really different a couple of months ago too. Everything I used to love (like music, food, etc) I hated. I had a temper and I would just come home and be mean to my husband, I'm over it now, it happened just like that though, and I think I was just missing my parents and mad at the world. I'm sorry you feel this way, it's one of the crappiest feelings in the world.


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## SierraWren (Jun 14, 2007)

Originally Posted by *CellyCell* /img/forum/go_quote.gif Ive been feeling this a lot for awhile.Dunno - just ranting and feeling bummed a bit.

Especially now that I know my ex got a new GF



(a slag non the less), I'm over him but the thought of him moving on bugs me too.

Anyone feeling the same?

Just lonely... and bored.

err - I feel pathetic. Tried keeping myself busy but my friends at the moment are going through lots of personal issues that I don't want to burden them w/ this. And my other 'friends' are just flakers I don't bother them.

I know a guy doesn't bring happiness - but I miss that type of attention. Haven't felt attractive in a long while now. Err, I dunno what I'm saying. But yeah...





When I was 16, I got my first boyfriend, and after that, every time I broke up with one(or they broke up with me) I felt absolutely alone and unhappy and at an utter loss as to what to do with myself single. Truth is, I was raised in a large,distant, all girl family, and I began to believe that I could never be so happy, so confident,so self motivated,as when I was at the center of attention of some guy who I really liked or loved.It was only in a boyfriend's eyes that I felt most pretty, smart, exciting,seductive, and the most alive. And when without a boyfriend, I felt pretty much the opposite of all that.I've come to find--in the many years since--that the special way a boyfriend can make us feel IS normal, but that we have to be strong and self-aware enough as individual women--and I can tell you are!--in order to be able to live through those phases by ourselves and still feel good about ourselves as individuals,if not as "thrilled" as when being with a man.You say you are "bored and lonely",but you sound more than this,like you don't know quite what to do without a man in your life to do things for,and as though you're not sure you can trust your friend to take your problems seriously or helpfully? Or maybe you are afaraid of their judgement? Either way, I too used to live in a kind of apathetic limbo between men, until I found something--writing poetry--I was good at,and didn't need a man around for.Not to say I still didn't want one!---but to find " a man" and to find "a good man" are 2 completely different searches, of course,and I sometimes got lost on the way. You are a beautiful girl; many men will be drawn to you, you don't have to worry about being alone like it's your fate,for it's not.You might want to take this brief alone time to work on your own talents and personal goals and accomplishments,so you won't feel quite as lost as it sounds like you feel...And practice flirring again,maybe, even if it's not serious, just to get yourself back in the dating pool...

Lonlieness is one of those things that absolutey NO ONE can always avoid, no matter who or how they are, and since we all go through it,most of us don't judge it either. I don't judge it at all, I have been near where you are now,so if you'd ever like to talk,PM me, and in the meantime, know you can always find support right here(on MUT).


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## pinksugar (Jun 14, 2007)

wow, sierrawren is totally right.

What you're feeling is natural, and it's what MUTers are for!! cheer up chicken! I know exactly how you feel. It's ok to feel like that! do something nice for yourself and know that you wont feel this way forever.

And being as how his new gf is a skank, well.. hopefully she'll break his heart! (if he has one!) and grind it into the dirt and then he'll come crawling back realising how beautiful and perfect you are and you'll laugh in his face.

SO THERE.




feel better??


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## JOysiej (Jun 14, 2007)

Sometimes I have the same feeling, feeling lonely. But as soon as I start to do fun things I forget about it. Focus on the nice and fun things, and don't bother to much about the things your ex does. He's just some stupid guy, you're better than him. You're the best and you will find mister right!


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## MindySue (Jun 14, 2007)

I feel lonely too with my bf being 800 miles away..I ususally feel the WORST right before going to bed, alone, sometimes (often) cry myself to sleep

not because i need a man in my life, (although i feel i DO need him in my life because of how important he is to me) but because i miss him..


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## BeneBaby (Jun 14, 2007)

I have a Man and I'm still lonely. My BF works alllll the time and late hours. Most days and nights I'm alone. It sucks and all you have is time to think and feel sorry for yourself. My friends and family live 3 hours away, all I have are my pets. I just try to stay busy and stay positive.


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## daer0n (Jun 14, 2007)

-sigh- i felt like you for a long time Celly, totally lonely, i spent 6 years without a partner so you go figure how happy i feel now because im married, ALTHOUGH...

i can relate to the feeling of "haven't felt attractive in a long time"..that is how i've been feeling lately, it feels like crap





I still feel lonely sometimes though, so i know how you must be feeling right now, it sucks, but, maybe you just need to focus more on yourself right now and do other things so that it keeps your mind away from thinking that you have no one, well a man, at the moment, its ok to be alone sometimes you know


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## natalierb (Jun 14, 2007)

Originally Posted by *SierraWren* /img/forum/go_quote.gif When I was 16, I got my first boyfriend, and after that, every time I broke up with one(or they broke up with me) I felt absolutely alone and unhappy and at an utter loss as to what to do with myself single. Truth is, I was raised in a large,distant, all girl family, and I began to believe that I could never be so happy, so confident,so self motivated,as when I was at the center of attention of some guy who I really liked or loved.It was only in a boyfriend's eyes that I felt most pretty, smart, exciting,seductive, and the most alive. And when without a boyfriend, I felt pretty much the opposite of all that.I've come to find--in the many years since--that the special way a boyfriend can make us feel IS normal, but that we have to be strong and self-aware enough as individual women--and I can tell you are!--in order to be able to live through those phases by ourselves and still feel good about ourselves as individuals,if not as "thrilled" as when being with a man.You say you are "bored and lonely",but you sound more than this,like you don't know quite what to do without a man in your life to do things for,and as though you're not sure you can trust your friend to take your problems seriously or helpfully? Or maybe you are afaraid of their judgement? Either way, I too used to live in a kind of apathetic limbo between men, until I found something--writing poetry--I was good at,and didn't need a man around for.Not to say I still didn't want one!---but to find " a man" and to find "a good man" are 2 completely different searches, of course,and I sometimes got lost on the way. You are a beautiful girl; many men will be drawn to you, you don't have to worry about being alone like it's your fate,for it's not.You might want to take this brief alone time to work on your own talents and personal goals and accomplishments,so you won't feel quite as lost as it sounds like you feel...And practice flirring again,maybe, even if it's not serious, just to get yourself back in the dating pool...

Lonlieness is one of those things that absolutey NO ONE can always avoid, no matter who or how they are, and since we all go through it,most of us don't judge it either. I don't judge it at all, I have been near where you are now,so if you'd ever like to talk,PM me, and in the meantime, know you can always find support right here(on MUT).

I think this is excellent advice. Celly, you're still young with a whole life ahead of you. This is a phase that we all go through. Remember, you are a beautiful girl and there are tons of guys out there, but you don't need them to make you feel attractive.


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## ivette (Jun 14, 2007)

i wish i had someone in my life too, but at the same time, i don't want to feel like i lose my identity through that person- not that everyone does

unfortuantly,

i've had two friends that when they had their boyfriends- they lost a "part

of themselves", sort a speak. i'm not trying to be rude, but its like they forgot about their single friends. that use to get me so



i got to the point that i would not call them, unless they called me first


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## CellyCell (Jun 14, 2007)

SierraWran, thanks - that was really uplifting and I'll take you up on PMing you.





Thanks everyone - I dont feel so alone atm.

It's not entirely because I don't have a man, and I havent had one in years - so it's kinda a "use too" feeling. But having that constant attention for a year was good and distracted me from other things I wasn't so happy in life.

Like friends and family. Issues I have with some of them. Like, Ivette pointed out. Some are so quick to drop hanging out with you for a new guy they've met on myspace. Not that I speak to friends like these much - just puts me off.

Thanks, I didn't want to come off like a drama queen - cus someone told me I was. Haha. But this feeling has been with me for the longest and I needed to vent a bit.

Thanks for the wonderful comments - almost cried!  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />


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## Sonia_K (Jun 14, 2007)

I'm sorry your feeling that way. I hope you feel better soon. Hugs.


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## mac-whore (Jun 14, 2007)

i know exactly what u mean. i was single for a long time &amp; loney &amp; a bit depressed. now, i have a boyfriend whom i absolutely adore but, guess what? i still have times where i feel lonely/depressed. i've realized that i determine my own hapiness and a partner is just a bonus.


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## CellyCell (Jun 14, 2007)

Aw, nice reassurance. lol.

I'm speaking with my ex's girl. Slag. Er.

Some girls have no respect for themselves... but yer.


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## Harlot (Jun 14, 2007)

Im deeply sorry for you feeling this way. Buy time heals all so get ready to feel alright in a while




Last week and weeks before that I could honestly say I REALLLY felt depressed. And Im a crazy-happy person! Ive never felt depressed until very recently so I could honestly say before all this happened that I didnt know what sadness felt like.....However, not for the same reasons. I was actually a bit suicidal, for some reason I was just really down and felt like Im wasting space and everyones time here. Last week my mom made me cry alot of times cause of how cold she was. She said things like how much I bother her and so on. I just felt so....unloved.

The fact that noone has time for me (Everyone I know is a workaholic) and my fathers is f*ckin lazy drives me insanely mad because I wished I could just drive myself instead of depending one people Which I HATE. And because I felt powerless I just cried out of fury and then crept into sadness. And alot of other issues, but what Im trying to say is that other people have gone through worse sweety so they know what youre feeling. Youre never alone, remember that


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## CellyCell (Jun 15, 2007)

Originally Posted by *Harlot* /img/forum/go_quote.gif Im deeply sorry for you feeling this way. Buy time heals all so get ready to feel alright in a while



Last week and weeks before that I could honestly say I REALLLY felt depressed. And Im a crazy-happy person! Ive never felt depressed until very recently so I could honestly say before all this happened that I didnt know what sadness felt like.....However, not for the same reasons. I was actually a bit suicidal, for some reason I was just really down and felt like Im wasting space and everyones time here. Last week my mom made me cry alot of times cause of how cold she was. She said things like how much I bother her and so on. I just felt so....unloved. 
The fact that noone has time for me (Everyone I know is a workaholic) and my fathers is f*ckin lazy drives me insanely mad because I wished I could just drive myself instead of depending one people Which I HATE. And because I felt powerless I just cried out of fury and then crept into sadness. And alot of other issues, but what Im trying to say is that other people have gone through worse sweety so they know what youre feeling. Youre never alone, remember that





Ah I feel like that too.Good to know I aint the only one.





Just depressing because it's been an ongoing feeling for months.


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## Harlot (Jun 15, 2007)

Yeah, itll pass. Thank god I got out of it and everythings a bit better



. Itll be the same for you but its natural to creep back a bit into that sort of state of mind.


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## CellyCell (Jun 15, 2007)

Yeah, just hate that feeling because I've been feeling this for a year now. It comes and goes.

Being home loads doesn't help much - since I think the source to all this comes down to my family issues. Meh.

I'm just trying to plan to go out everyday and keep my mind out the gutter - I told my friend that and he said we'll go out and walk everyday around tracks. Help me zone out. Hope we do...

Hope whoever else is feeling lonely can get out the rut aswell.





Thanks guys!


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## elisha24 (Jun 27, 2007)

I know it's easier said then done but you need to distance yourself from him. Let him be happy with someone else, obviously it didn't work between you'se that shouldn't mean either of you can't be happy with someone else. You need to accept that he is going to move on, and do the same. Don't put yourself in a situation where its going to be in your face.

And just because he has got a new gf doesn't mean you need to run off and find a new bf. Learn to be happy with yourself






Def try to get out and do stuff with your friends, it will help pick you up.


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## Savvy_lover (Jun 27, 2007)

Originally Posted by *MindySue* /img/forum/go_quote.gif I feel lonely too with my bf being 800 miles away mine is 6000 miles! YES i beat u !!!!its really good to do sth instead of staying at home. after i broke up with my first bf i hid in home for 6 months and it was bad . being with my fds helped me alot . just find sth interesting to do . sports, SHOP, karaoke, movies(at someoneelses house), etc.!


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## bCreative (Jun 27, 2007)

Well at least you had boyfriends.......try being 22 and NEVER having a boyfriend!! UGH!!!!


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## Savvy_lover (Jun 27, 2007)

Originally Posted by *GlamChick85* /img/forum/go_quote.gif Well at least you had boyfriends.......try being 22 and NEVER having a boyfriend!! UGH!!!!



oh sorry but at least u dont have to miss them.
what do u think the prob is ?


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## CellyCell (Jun 27, 2007)

Aye, thanks Elisha





Our distance was 5000! Boo.

&amp; Glamchick... I kinda regret getting involved, but I learned a lot from the experience. But you're not missing much. Haha.


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## bCreative (Jun 27, 2007)

Originally Posted by *Savvy_lover* /img/forum/go_quote.gif oh sorry but at least u dont have to miss them.
what do u think the prob is ?

I have no idea. Maybe it's my look or something, guys never approach me and I just feel like this ugly piece of nothing!!


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## bCreative (Jul 2, 2007)

yep.


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## Ricci (Jul 2, 2007)

Celly being single can be a gas!!

try going out with a bunch of girls

looking your best and flirt flirt flirt!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## CellyCell (Jul 2, 2007)

Haha. Not much of a flirting type...





I get too shy around the fellas.

I really just want to build my self-esteem up before I get into it with guys again.


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## pinksugar (Jul 2, 2007)

glamchick, maybe they wont approach you because they think they don't have a chance? guys sometimes wont approach you because they think you're too hot and too good for them!

Celly, I know how you feel about needing some time before you get back out there. It's good to just have girly nights, where guys arent even a consideration. You can relax and have a good time going out and feeling hot, but not having to deal with a whole lot of men, since you're with so many girls


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## melpaganlibran (Jul 2, 2007)

if he left you and wound up with a slag, hey, "that's what he gets."

i am ffeeling very lonely and isolated too. I have decided to fdivorce my husband and I am amking a lot of other huge changes. I used to party like a rock star, now I won't even go out for a drink. I am sitting at home and saving money up for an attorney. I stopped talking to almost all my oldest friends because some of them began to seem like they judged on me for my former nonstop partying, some of them had a jealous SO or something, and a lot of them gossiped on me or even told lies on me and that HURT. I am slowly but surely making progress in my life with baby steps, I'm trying to get it more together. I was once boy/girl crazy but I'm abstinent and plan on being that way until a divorce is final and until I have everything in order. Now that i'm working toward my future, I have almost no one to share my joy with nor my trails and tribulations. It's like my old pals wouldn't believe or root for the "new" me, as a eresult i'm just gonna make new friends eventually. Oh and I'm terrified of a relationship or even just-sex. I have too much work to do on my own life before I allow someone else gets close to me. I'm isolated and kind of depressed.





I take some small joy in being a flirt but I'm a tease...I don't really want anyone for-real at all.

heh.


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## kittenmittens (Jul 2, 2007)

I know how you feel....I'd been single for a long time and then finally met someone I felt like I connected with and it turns out he's got relationship issues to the point that he's now scared to even talk to me because he's afraid of his feelings. boys are so dumb sometimes!

it really sucks cause I really like the guy, but you can't change someone.

many of my friends are married with kids on the way, so I don't really have the same network of girlfriends to rely on anymore.

I'm trying to refocus those energies on improving myself and finding my own happiness, but it's tough lemme tell you!


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## kaylin_marie (Jul 3, 2007)

I've been through the same kinda thing babe. I actually got really bad for a while, and my poor fiance never could figure out what was wrong with me. It was after we had just hit a really rough patch, and took a break, and then got back together. After the initial googliness that we were back together wore off, i got what some people would call really "depressed" for a while. I would find myself getting so restless that I would cry. LIke I would sit there and do nothing, and hate it, but if i went and did something I'd just want to go back home and sit there again. And if i got just a little bit mad or bothered by something I would let myself get way way too upset over it, and i would sometimes take it out on other people even. And I would let myself dwell over the past, and overly-stress out over the present (it was mostly job/housing/car/money stuff at the time). Sometimes I would even take showers just because I wanted to cry and I knew no one could hear me in the shower. BUT after I got a new job, and the thoughts about the past and stuff started to wear off, things got better. It just takes time. What helped me through it was getting a job, but what helps you may be something totally different. Just give it some time. The best advice I have on getting through it is to try and always have something to occupy yourself. For me it was working, sewing, spending time with friends, painting, cleaning, video games, excersizing, all kinds of stuff like that. Make lists of things you need or want to get done. Have a yard sale, rearrange your house/room. Try and do lots of fun and productive things with all your time and eventually you'll feel yourself slipping out of it.


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