# What kind of "friend" would do this??



## pretty_pink13 (Mar 1, 2008)

I'm pretty upset right now, I want to make this as short as possible.Uh...so last night something really bad happened...a really good friend who I trust, respect and love as a person came onto me. The worst part is...

he is my boyfriends BEST friend...

I feel so shocked right now, Im not sure what to do, as in...I feel hurt and just disrespected because I really thought he was a great person and a really good friend. The second worst thing...

My boyfriend doesn't live here, we are in a long distance relationship and he is due to move down here in a month. The friend who tried stuff on me, is setting him up with a job when he gets here...so...thats another issue but the main is:

I just recently moved and know virtually no one, my boyfriends best friend was down here and he was the only friend I had, also the only person my boyfriend knows down here... I trusted him completley and had no worries or anything until last night...well enough about him

WHAT ABOUT MY BF?? What do I say to him? Do I say anything?? This kinda thing is devasting and can ruin their friendship big time, I don't know what to do or say at this point, part of me wants to call him up and just freak out and tell him everything, part of me wants to hold back so they can keep their friendship...but what kind of friendship is that anyways?? I feel like I should let him know what a shady person he is...what kind of best friend he is and so forth...please help me...


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## Adrienne (Mar 1, 2008)

I'm so sorry to hear that!!! Aren't some men pigs!? I think that you should try to tell your bf calmly and let him know what happened. I don't think a real friend of his will try to hit on his girl. Your relationship may not be that serious(?) but imagine that one day your marrying the guy and he's his best man...umm...talk about shady. Or maybe it doesn't come out in awhile. When it does, the first thing that's gonna cross his mind is "is this the first time?" and "I wonder what else she hasn't told me" leading him not to trust you anymore. that happened to me too and i told my bf (who is now my husband of 3 years) and he dropped his best friend. he started doubting all the other times his friend mightve been alone with any ex girls and was glad that i told him.


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## emily_3383 (Mar 1, 2008)

Yeah I think most men are capable of that, not all but most. Thats why im never too friendly with any man not even my boyfriends best friend or anyone! I really dont know what you should do but I would tell my bf. I cant deal well with things on my mind.


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## Darla (Mar 1, 2008)

Wow what a bad situation.

This happened to my best friend and his fiancee at the time. Very similar situation and to make matters worse they were all sharing a house together.

I assume you rebuffed his advance and told him you weren't interested. If not i think he will feel like he can hit on you again. You gotta let this friend know you are insulted by his passes and it really can't believe he would hit on a best friend's GF.

and you gotta let your BF know even if it jeopardizes their relationship. Sad to say but in my friends case he didn't want to believe and even downplayed it, but she (who is also a great friend) is still totally insulted that this happened in the first place and secondly that her fiancee didn't immediately punch this other guy out for trying something like that. (after all they were all in the same house)

sorry for the jump in. it just sounded way too familiar. yep men can be scumbags.


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## Saja (Mar 1, 2008)

Just a thought, but maybe hes testing you to see if your going to be faithful to his friend. Tell you bf.....just in case he is. You did nothing wrong so theres no reason you cant tell him. If you dont it could come back to bite you in the ass


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## Dragonfly (Mar 1, 2008)

I would get together with your boyfriend's friend. Ask him if the two of you together should tell your bf. I'm sure he will tell you he doesn't want to.

If he's not going to, then why bother telling you bf?


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## sue23 (Mar 1, 2008)

Wow, yeah tell your boyfriend. He needs to know his friend was being a scumbag, whatever decision he makes after that is up to him


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## Darla (Mar 1, 2008)

Originally Posted by *Saja* /img/forum/go_quote.gif Just a thought, but maybe hes testing you to see if your going to be faithful to his friend. Tell you bf.....just in case he is. You did nothing wrong so theres no reason you cant tell him. If you dont it could come back to bite you in the ass Saja, I strongly disagree with your first part, but I'm perfectly in agreement on the second part. What kind of a friend "tests" all his friends girlfriends to see if they will be faithful? For what so that he might be able to get with whoever decides to betray their boyfriend. Thats a real scumbag move and i would want to know i had a friend like that. 
On the second part I don't know if this would ever get back to your BF, but why risk it? He needs to know at the very least what a scumbag his friend is. So yeah i agree with Saja here. Just hope he doesn't blow it off like my friend did.


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## fawp (Mar 1, 2008)

At times like these, it can help to consider how you would feel in a reversed situation.

If your bestfriend hit on your boyfriend, would you want him to tell you?


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## Wicked-W (Mar 2, 2008)

this happened to a friend of mine, and the friend went and told her boyfriend a totally different tale on how she came on to him, take the bull by the horns and be honest with your BF its better coming from you than the idiot that started this.


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## pinksugar (Mar 2, 2008)

I definately would tell my bf. As some of the others have said, you don't want it coming up later on and making you look shit.

I'm sorry that this happened to you. It must be frustrating and lonely not having any friends aside from him, but in the meantime, you always have friends on MUT! are there any clubs or classes or anything you might be able to join to meet new people?

maybe just put yourself out there and try to get some new friends?


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## xoxmonicaxox (Mar 2, 2008)

Omg ! Obviously your upset and in such an uncomftorable state with that guy ||! Poor thing, I too know what thats like and its not good at all ( except mine was a flat out kiss after my bf had left the room ) So yea no good, but I didnt say anything. Why? Because in some cases they can lie, or be spiteful because you didnt react and flirt back with the guy and it could cause major drama you know. I dont know him or your bf tho so obviously my insight wouldnt be very much help. BUT I would follow your heart, and if you feel its too out of line I would tell your bf. Good luck girl, keep us posted !


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## pretty_pink13 (Mar 3, 2008)

UPDATE:

I went ahead and told my bf. He wasn't too happy. I apologized about it, and he told me I didn't have to apologize and that he will "handle" it. He sounded really sympathetic though and felt bad that I was put in that situation. So...I feel a lot better about everything and glad that we talked. As for them, I really don't know about anything but all I know is that they probably won't be talking for a while. Thank you everyone for all your responses, you really helped me out


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## kaylin_marie (Mar 3, 2008)

This has happened to me with a couple of Jerry's friends. He doesn't really beleive me when I tell him, or he thinks I'm exagerating. So they continue doing it, and they all stay friends, and I'm just like ok whatever. I don't really care if they hit on me, it just sucks that he has such shitty friends and can't se it.

But if it were the other way around, you better believe I would want to know if one of my friends were coming onto jerry. OMG I would be so pissed.

Good thing you told him, and he wasn't mad at you or anything and everything worked out ok!!


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## love2482 (Mar 4, 2008)

What a tought situation, but you did the right thing by telling your boyfriend.


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## flowerb0mb (Mar 4, 2008)

Wow, that is a really tough spot to be in. So glad that it worked for you in the end.

I've had it happen where my friends' boyfriends have come on to me.. that's not an easy thing to handle either.

worked out* for you


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## luxotika (Mar 5, 2008)

I am glad that everything worked out!


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## 4getmeNot (Mar 7, 2008)

glad it worked out for you too hunni. i have been in the same situation, but didn't tell my boyfriend, for fear of him gettin mad at me (and tryin to reverse it to somehow be _my _fault) &amp; ruining their friendships..so i just kinda kept my mouth shut &amp; let it ride..even tho i always felt uncomfortable around his friend after that.


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## ForeverPink (Mar 10, 2008)

Glad everything worked out. This story doesnt do my faith in men any good though. What is going through their brains half the time?


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## Darla (Mar 10, 2008)

Originally Posted by *ForeverPink* /img/forum/go_quote.gif Glad everything worked out. This story doesnt do my faith in men any good though. What is going through their brains half the time? absolutely nothing, their other brain is doing all the thinking


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## SimplyElegant (Mar 10, 2008)

Yeah it was definitely a good things telling him. Don't let this guy make you feel bad, it was him who started it and he knew that his friend could possibly get pretty upset about it. He should know better.


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## han (Mar 10, 2008)

guys are so predictable

glad you worked it out


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## polaroidscene (Mar 11, 2008)

guys are freakin lame


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## jdepp_84 (Mar 11, 2008)

I am glad he understood you had nothing to do with the whole situation, you didnt put yourself in it. A lot of other guys would just assume you did something to provoke his buddy. Your babe is a keeper


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