# I dont know what to do anymore



## michal_cohen (Feb 28, 2007)

i so deppresed becuse a few resons:

1) my house is a mess and everytime i want to clean my dad scream at me and said this is my house and when i returen from work i want quite when youll have your own house you can clean it whenever you want

if ill return from work and see you clean nd moving stuff one more time you will have to look for another house to stay

2) my dad always want me to help with bills and food like everyday i can barelly have money for myself

3)my dad always want me to do silly stuff like to turn off light he forgot to close the tv if he will fall a sleep

all day he just askin and askin

4) tomarrow is one year to my mom dath so im kinda sad

5) yestrday i invited my ex for food and stuff and i hugged him cus i was so sad and he thought i still love him and i told him that i dont we still talking like everyday

but since the hug he think he can control me

i have a few arabic friends at work and o want to go for the weekend to one of my friends

and my ex screamd at me what are you crazy they arabic everyone will talk about you and you probebly get riffed by her brother and if you will talk with arabs again ill not talk to you again and he yelld at me today cus i stay after work to talk with my friend

6)i met someone that always chanced his mind and my ex yelld at me not to talk with him again

but im meeting him( the guy) at sunday

i thinking he just trying to get to bed with me but i like to talk with him

anyway my life is a mess

im cryin everyday

and thats why my face look tribell lately and everyone recomend me stuff for my face like it will help haha

i used to come here and it helped but now my brother sleeping here again and the comp is in his room so i can be here at night and to talk with all the ppl i love

im stuck

i dont allowed to clean my house and everything is messy

the only room i can clean is my own room

i dont have friends

and everyone tryin to tell me what to do

what can i do?


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## SherryAnn (Feb 28, 2007)

I'm sorry things are so hard on you right now. ((((HUGS)))))

If your dad doesn't want you to clean while he is at home, maybe you can do some sort of schedule where you clean on your own time? If nothing else, go in your room and shut the door and clean to your heart's content.

I hope things get better. I have no advice but just know we are here for you!


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## emily_3383 (Feb 28, 2007)

are you able to move out at he moment?


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## michal_cohen (Feb 28, 2007)

no

i had a bf that didnt alowed me to work

this month was my first cellery ever

and i had so many bills i paid them all

it too exspencive to move out :s

he rutern shortly after i return from work

i just wash the dishes and he return

im workin in clening so im kinda tired when i return and it so dipprsing to see all the mess

my brother his messy too

and everytime i say something he say if you dont like it so clean and after that he mess again

i need to do everything at the house but it never help the house still look messy and the floor omg i dont even want to talk about it


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## daer0n (Feb 28, 2007)

You know Michal, i think that you should do what YOU think it's best for you, if you don't want to listen to other people's advice on what to do, you are a grown woman and you have to make your own decisions.

I think that you should find better company, dont surround yourself with bad company just because you need someone to talk or to hug, that guy, your ex, doesnt sound like a good company for you, and the other guy who you think is only trying to get you in bed is a bad company too, be careful because you could get hurt...

I think that if you hang around with positive people your life has a positive effect too, as hard as it is to believe for some people, if you hang around with negative people that is the effect that your life will also have, therefore you will always suffer and be sad, there is no need for you to cry and feel bad everyday.

Your dad on the other hand, should be grateful for having someone to take care of the house since your mom is gone.

I am sorry to hear about your mom not being with you anymore, but she is not there, and life goes on, and if you keep her in your mind and in your heart she will never be gone, talk to her, i am sure she hears you.

Find comfort in doing other things, for YOURSELF, you have to love and think about yourself before you do it for others, and you will receive the same from other people, they will love you and think about you too.

i know, i probably make it sound too easy, but, you have to start with yourself to change your life, change your atittude and your enviroment, it seems to me like the only people that are around you are selfish and controling people, that you need to get away from.

These guys are just trying to take advantage of you, and if you know this, i think you should get away imediately from them.

We are here for you, but there are other things that you can do to distract and entertain yourself to get away from what is hurting you and making you feel depressed and sad.

XOXO


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## michal_cohen (Feb 28, 2007)

it so dam hard to me cus i dont have no one to talk with in person

i sometimes stay after work like 4 hours and talk with my boss i dont want to return home

home sepose to be the place that everyone love you no matter what

i dont have a real friends in here

i was with my ex 9 years and he didnt allowed me to talk with no one

i dont know how to find friends and how to choose them

so i just hold to what i got even if its bad

i dont want to be alone

i want to be out of the house much as i can


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## emily_3383 (Feb 28, 2007)

I think you need to find your own place and be on your own for a while. Its seems that since you dont want to be alone you surround yourself with negative people. Maybe you can move out and find a roommate? It sounds hard but it seems like you dont have any positive people in your life and i think thats worse than being alone.


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## daer0n (Feb 28, 2007)

I know what you mean,

but wouldnt you rather be alone than with people who hurt you and make you feel worthless?

i think anyone would.

Sometimes we dont have support in our own homes, and it's sad but we have to accept it. you are the only one who can change this though, not anyone else, but you.

And it might be too expensive to move out of your house, but like i said, you can find something else to do, and, could you find a better job than the one you have?

Did you finish school? it sounds to me like you probably didnt and cant get a better job because of that.

And we arent there in person but we can listen to what you have to say, we are still humans even though we are behind a computer and we are your friends too, maybe not the kind that can help you out by offering you a place to stay but the kind that can support you no matter how far away you are.  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />


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## michal_cohen (Feb 28, 2007)

you right

but it will take me like 2 years to save all this money to rent a place

and i dont know what to do right now

i dont know how i feel about anything

and everyday im going to work and im in bed at 7 just to end the day

(i need to be at work at 6 oclock)

i promise myself that every month ill buy yself something cus i destave it im working hard

next month im going to do a hair cut

im so deppresd but im really tryin to look at things in a better way

yea just tryin


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## Jesskaa (Feb 28, 2007)

I agree with everything Daer0n posted.

stay strong girlfriend!


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## michal_cohen (Feb 28, 2007)

i didnt finished school we had triblle at home and we didnt had money

i just lucky to have this job and that i met the ppl in it

without it i probebly go insine

thanks sweety


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## jennycateyez (Feb 28, 2007)

that's a awful feeling i know.... but you souldn't be talking to your ex anymore if he is so negative about everything you do including hanging out with ur friends who are arabic... im sure you can find friends easily maybe you just need someone to talk to. sorry your going through this.


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## michal_cohen (Feb 28, 2007)

thanks

im so glad i found this site

everyone here is so great


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## daer0n (Feb 28, 2007)

Well, i believe you can work your way up and find something better in your life, many people have done it, without having any resources of any kind, no family no nothing at all, from living in the street to having a business of their own, you can do THIS:

watch the trailer and you will know what i mean

The Pursuit Of Happyness

Started from pretty much Zero, and look what he did, based on a true story.

I know you can do something better about your life, you are the architect of your own destiny, and this might sound like a total cliche but it is also totally true.


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## michal_cohen (Feb 28, 2007)

you right

ill call this guy and tell him that ill not going to meet him at sunday

he working from 9 in the evening until 7 in the morning and then he want to come to me

i like him but he love to talk about sex all the time

i like his personellty but i dosnt attrective to him

and dosent love him

i dont think i could love again

i have so much things on my mind that i need to solve

i affried that one day ill wake up and will not be able to feel anything to anyone

that way i stayid with him i think cus im affried to be alone and without feelings

tomarrow a friend come to me she is my best friend her name is nora its remind me of you

and the day after im going to sleep at her house

and to hung out

and later our boss(she is a women) will come and we will drive in her car and talk

i think bucuse my ex always kept me to himself that now i want to be more socialized

and altho im talking with ppl at work i dont feel it enogh


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## jessimau (Feb 28, 2007)

I'm sorry things are so rough for you, Michal. **HUGS** I agree with what everyone else has said -- try to find a way to deal and work towards getting out of your current situation. It'll be hard, but if you're working towards a goal that might make it a little easier to deal with most days because you know there's a light at the end of the tunnel, even if you don't know when you're going to reach that light. I'm glad you've found this site too, and that we're all able to be part of something positive for you. :hugss: :hug:


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## michal_cohen (Feb 28, 2007)

yea i can say with all my heart that everyone here makes me stronger and i learn so much about myself and about everything

but im sad that my brother live here again and im not able to be here as much :s

why i didnt born in the usa :glasses:

it was so easy to me

since i found this site sometimes im finding myself thinking in english

we have students here from us and canada maybe ill try to speake with them but they look at me in a wierd why cus im the cleaning lady

but that ok


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## Aprill (Feb 28, 2007)

I am so sorry that you feel the way that you fell. I know what it is like to lose a parent. It is hard and I hope that things work out for you. Set yourself some goals, and dont let anyone maneuver you from those goals until you have done them.

Ex-boyfriends suck, but that is why there is an ex in front of it. Leave that kind of mess alone. If you ever need anything, let me know, I and probably everyone else on here will be here for you. You dont necssarily have to take to someone in person, just as long as you are venting.


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## michal_cohen (Feb 28, 2007)

thank you so much

you right

i will send the new guy back to his mom

my ex is my best friend i dont have any feelings for him he like family we were toghter almost 9 years and he know me the best

im to importent to him so no matter what ill do he will be by my side

he isnt my bf anymore so he cant tell me what to do

i just will go out with my new friend and start to talk with ppl

your sepurt helping me a lot i wish i could stay here all night

but my brother need to come back soon

so when he come back ill go to sleep


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## daer0n (Feb 28, 2007)

i am glad we are able to help Michal  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

You know, there is a reason why we were born were we were born, maybe you need to learn something out of all this situation, well, not maybe, you need to, that is for sure, i believe there is no such thing as coincidence.

You know, i think you have to be grateful that you are physically and mentally complete, and you are a smart girl, some other people can't really say "Thanks" for the things that they have, some people don't have hands, or legs, or the ability to see, you do, and i think you have to be grateful for that. Even these people are able to do so many wonderful things sometimes, their abilities to do more stuff than "normal" people sometimes surpases our capabilities, they might not be "normal" yet they still do more than us sometimes.

It's funny that you say that you find yourself thinking in english sometimes, cause that happened to me all the time lol, i thought in english all the time and i was like, ..weird, instead of thinking in spanish i am thinking in english, lol, it was funny.

Maybe you are making yourself, self conscious about them looking at you funny cause you think of yourself as the 'cleaning lady' but, as i said before i think that people treat you the way you want them to treat you, so think of yourself high because you have the same capabilities that we all have, you aren't less than them just because they study, dont let anyone look down on you, nobody is better than nobody  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

Also, about your dad and your brother, don't let them treat you that way, there is a saying that goes " The brave one lives till the cowards wants it to live" meaning that if you stand up for yourself and don't let them treat you like crap they wont ever do it anymore  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

*hugs


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## PT-BC99 (Feb 28, 2007)

Oh Michal, I am so sorry about the loss of your mother. :hug: You have already received great suggestions from everyone who's posted before me. I would just encourage you to stay strong, believe in yourself, and rely on your friends here, to listen and support you. Look for 3 amazing things each and every day, and smile at everyone. The power in a single smile is huge. :hug:


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## Dragonfly (Mar 1, 2007)

Hi Michal. It was very sad to read your post.

I think you are getting some pretty good advice from the ladies.

One thing you can do to keep busy and acquire references (since you haven't been working much) is find an agency and volunteer your time.

Since you like to clean, maybe help out at a woman's shelter with laundry and light house keeping. Or if you like dogs, take dogs in a shelter, for daily walks.

These are only two ideas.

Plus you will meet other people and make new friends.

Who knows, maybe you will meet a girl that needs a roommate - and you will be able to afford to split the bill with her.

I hope things get better honey. Please post again whenever you need to talk.


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## michal_cohen (Mar 1, 2007)

if i wont listen to my dad he will trow me out of the house so its hard

you are so sweet

i allready got two dogs you can see them in my notepad

i dicedad to meet this guy at sunday i want a closer talk with him and if he wont like what ill say so i will not talk with him again

he asked from me not to talk with him at work cus the first time his boss talk with him about it

and he allso asked from me not to tell any one at work that we are toghter

its kinda bother me that he come to me after a 11 hours shipt

i bet he will fall a sleep again

he fall a sleep at the first time he came to me and i just watched him sleeping and tought why a person that look so nice when he sleeing can be so bad when his a

wake

i need time for myself and just to be with friends

i need to figure who i am and what good for me i never had a time to do that and i lost myself

thanks to a speiceal person in the site i born again

and everyone here help me

god i missed this site i used to sit here for hours


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## daer0n (Mar 1, 2007)

I am sorry all this is happening to you but you have to believe that things will get better  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

I think Carolyn suggested really good ideas, it would be good if you could find these kind of jobs and maybe you would move out of your dad's place so that you arent so stressed out anymore.

The guy fell asleep? hm. well. that doesnt sound like a very fun company lol


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## michal_cohen (Mar 1, 2007)

he was after a 11 hours shift his a gurd so he just watch one of the university bulding

belive me he is better a sleep then a wake

anyway i will met him after his night shipt he will come to my house

i want to talk with him and tell him that i dont think it will work

he got his sweet side that i love

but he allso got this syco size that i will pass

so i dunno


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## WhitneyF (Mar 1, 2007)

I am so sorry you are being treated badly. No one deserves that. I really wish you could move out of your dad's house but I know that is not an option for you right now. I STRONGLY feel that you should stop talking to your ex-boyfriend. He seems like a psycho with a lot of insecurities and he is only going to bring you down.

As far as being friends with who you want and talking with who you want, you should be allowed to do so. Do not let anyone tell you otherwise. You deserve to be happy and you deserve friends.

I love you sweetie and I hope you feel better.


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## daer0n (Mar 1, 2007)

You are so sweet  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

and i agree with you, i think too that she should find good friends, not the kind that make her feel worthless and bring her down, right now she seems surrounded by people ( 'friends' ) who don't really appreciate and try to manipulate her, and Michal is such a sweet person i think she deserves waaay better than what she is going through right now.  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />


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## KristieTX (Mar 2, 2007)

Michal, I just want to say that you are a very sweet, kind, caring person with a huge heart and you do not deserve to be treated in this way. I hope that things get better for you and people start treating you the way you deserve to be treated. *hugs*

PM me anytime if you want to talk.  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />


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## tadzio79 (Mar 2, 2007)

Michal, I'm so sorry you're going through a rough time.

Most parents would be grateful if their kids like to clean the house (my parents for sure, lol), so your father getting mad at you for cleaning is something I can't really understand.

I'm sorry about your mother passing... I'm wondering if your father has been acting that way to you because her anniversary is around and he's still grieving her death. Is he always like that, getting mad at you easily, or has his anger towards you happened recently?

I agree with other posters here and I'm glad that you chose not to see that guy on Sunday. You need to be around people who are positive influence in your life, those who cut you down will keep you feeling more miserable.

I hope you feel better soon Michal! we're always here if you need to talk to us!

:huggies:


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## michal_cohen (Mar 2, 2007)

thank you so much you put a smile on my face

i feel better now

well i desided not to tell everything to my ex and i told him we just friends ou can desided for me anymore if you wont like it you can quit be my friend

i meeting the other guy sunday he will come to me after 11 hours shipt and i want to talk with him

i dont love to play games but this one need to taste his own madicin

he always thin that if he will come to me we gonna sleep toghter hahaha

no one got a power on me just myself

so i wont let ppl bring me down

i dont work today or tomarrow and sunday is an holiday so i have a little time for myself and i could clean and hear music loudly hehe

and to be here off cours but just in the mornings

thank you for all your suport

awwwwwwwwwweee

i got a new best arabic friend her name is nora and everytime i called her im thinking of you

thank you so much your so kind

my father always was like that even when my mom was alive

he always tell her what to do

he staid the last 10 years at home and boss everone around exsept my brother cus his a guy

i hat that i think that family need to be equel and to exsept one etch other no matter what

like in here

i love you guys

thank you so much

my friend notra brought me some mu yestrday

she told me you always talk about yur makeup family and how everyone there is so kind and sweet

and i dont have internt so i brought you mu and i welcome you to my family

that was so sweet of her not becuse she brought me something just becuse she tought about me

offcours i huged her

and i told her to come to me cus i want to give her something too she love stuffed animals and i have this new huge bunny that my mom bought me a few years ago it still sild


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## daer0n (Mar 2, 2007)

Aww, that is so cool that you think about me when you talk to her  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

You make me feel special Michal *hugs

And i am sooo happy that she made you feel part of her family, these are the kind of friends that you need!

Stay strong, i know you are a very strong woman! Cheers! and remember we are here always for you  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

*Lotsa hugs and remember we love you :1f:


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## michal_cohen (Mar 2, 2007)

you are so sweet

i chanced all my thought today my father yelled at me cus i start cleaning and insted of cryin and go to my room i told him you know what you are right and i went to clean another room

and i felt so good

i was at my grandma today and eat and took a shower that was great

this guy calld his name is yonni

and he told me we gonna meet at sunday and we gonna sleep toghter

any way he so pissed me offf and he a wake my sracstic size so i told him ok what about condoms so he told me you will buy them and you will choose them too you desrave it

and i told him how kind of you really

and he havent noticed that i was sarcstic

the story with this guy is that he like dr jykle and mister hide he so sweet and shy around pp but alone or on the pone his like a sex control freak

anyway i desidead not to comprmize on myself

so on sunday i will show him that nothing will ever happend between us and thats it

i figerud out that i affried to lose ppl and thats way i tried to keep even the ones who treat me bad by my side


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## StrangerNMist (Mar 2, 2007)

I'm really sorry that you're having to go through something like this.

I think the ladies on here have offered up some very solid advice - the people here are awesome, and they've always been extremely helpful!

You don't need people like your Ex, Ants In the Pants Guy, or your father trying to throw their weight around you. I agree that it's a good idea to keep yourself busy and make contacts to get yourself out of the situation that you're in now.

Keep your head up chickie! You will get through this, and you will make it - regardless of what anyone says or does.


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## daer0n (Mar 2, 2007)

Well Michal, i have to say, CONGRATS on doing what you did and saying that to your dad, you shouldn't be affraid of him, he has to see that you aren't affraid of him AND if he doesnt want you to clean, well, easy, don't clean anywhere around him  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

So, good for you!! i am glad you are changing your mind :rockwoot:

About that guy, hmm, i am really glad you are going to let him know that he can't play with you and manipulate you sexually or anything, i think you are doing GRRREAT!

and i am very happy for you :11:

*hugs hugs hugs!


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## tadzio79 (Mar 3, 2007)

I'm glad you're going to end this stupid drama with that weirdo. You deserve so much better, and you will find a guy who will treat you well and care for you as a person, not some sex slave!

I know what you mean about being afraid to lose people (good and bad) in your life. I was like that too, for a very long time. that fear even kept me from getting to know people and forming relationships with them.

Being able to let bad people go in your life will create a place in your heart to let new people in, and be able to grow as a person. Stay strong hon!!!


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## michal_cohen (Mar 3, 2007)

thank you so much

thank you

you helped me so much

you right

im so lucky to have friends like the one i have on mut


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## xxjuicyprincess (Dec 5, 2007)

just run away now he sounds like a physco


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## Anthea (Dec 7, 2007)

Wow Michal, I am so sorry you have had such a tough lot, reading through your post sadens me that a nice person can be treated so badly. I agree with the very good advise you have been given above. In particular to stay away from your ex and to find some other friends who are more positive.

I don't know anything about you or where you live but are there social or sporting groups you could join perhaps to broaden your circle of friends. It was lovely of your other friend to get you something to cheer you up and those type of friends are keepers.

People who are like Dr Jekyll and Mr. Hyde are people you should stay away from for sure, don't let them in and try to control you, be strong and you know whats best for you, not them.

You mentioned your Grandmother, is there any possibility to move in with her??

Just to let you know there are many people here that are thinking of you at this time and you have lots of support and advise here.

Take care


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## KellyB (Dec 7, 2007)

Hey yall. this is an old thread.........................


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