# Ever thought of killing yourself?



## Savvy_lover (Mar 6, 2007)

Ever thought of killing yourself? i have . i m thinking about doing that.


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## Aquilah (Mar 6, 2007)

I can't say we've all reached a low point in life like that, but I'm sure we've all reached a low point at some time. IMHO, suicide is definitely not the answer. My ex did that, and it's more of a loss to everyone than I'm sure he imagined.

If you seriously have thoughts of suicide, then I definitely recommend seeking mental help. It's not healthy at all to feel that way, and you never know when a thought can become an action.

BTW, not to scare you or anything, but if someone in your family knew that's how you felt, they could have you commited to a mental hospital themselves. So, I'd definitely seek treatment ASAP before something worse than the thought happens.


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## Aprill (Mar 6, 2007)

I agree 175%!!!


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## lynnda (Mar 6, 2007)

I agree! Don't wait to get help!


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## StereoXGirl (Mar 6, 2007)

Aquilah is right on! If you are seriously considering suicide, PLEASE get help...suicide is not the answer...

And to answer your question, yes I have considered it seriously in the past. But I'm glad I didn't!


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## Princess6828 (Mar 6, 2007)

Me too - I think about it a lot. With everything going on in my life right now I've been thinking about it a lot lately. Sometimes I honestly do feel that everyone would be better off without me. I couldn't really do it though. I'm too scared of death. I just got put back on meds, but I'm petrified of gaining weight again - which is why I went off them the last time. Well, sorry for rambling - but if you're really seriously considering killing yourself you should definitely get help. I know it's not the answer and I know it's not right to be thinking that way either.


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## WhitneyF (Mar 6, 2007)

Suicide is definitely not the answer. I've considered it before, but I'm glad I didn't go through with it. Things DO get better. It may not feel like they ever will, but they do.

Please don't do anything to hurt yourself.


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## daer0n (Mar 6, 2007)

Killing yourself is not the end of pain, suffering, or depression, trust me, i have thought about it too, well, i did a long time ago, not anymore though, i have to think about my family and they make me happy.

Thoughts of suicide only come to your mind because of depression, which sometimes can be called a mental disease, it depends how badly depressed or angry you are.

Sometimes it is caused by some sort of disorder in your body, you can go and find a solution to this by seeing a doctor, someone out there needs you and thinks about you, don't think you aren't needed in this world, if you are here there is a reason and your life was given to you as a gift, and no one has the right to take that away, but HIM and you know who i mean by "him"  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

If you need someone to talk, you can talk to us about your problems too, we can all listen and maybe give you some advice or just listen to you, you are not alone  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />


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## magosienne (Mar 6, 2007)

i've had the thought in the past, but i know this is not the solution.

if you're seriously considering it, please get help.


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## PerfectMistake (Mar 6, 2007)

This is going to sound mean, please don't take it that way, itâ€™s just the brutal truthâ€¦but suicide is actually seen as selfish.

I have had 2 people that I knew that committed suicide, and it's not pleasurable. Think about how much you are going to leave behind, think of all the tears that will be cried and the anger that will ensue. Suicide means you are only thinking of yourself and what you are going through at that moment, but you need to understand - there is more to you than just YOU!

Get counseling, fast, or talk to your family and friends about you feelings at the very least.


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## magosienne (Mar 6, 2007)

i would like to add that people who suddenly discover one of their friends or family member committed suicide, never understand why. so, if you have something to say, just say it, if you want people to understand how upset you are and how much you need help, just talk to them, someone. there's on this planet someone who can help you and doesn't want you dead. so please, get help, just don't give up now.


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## daer0n (Mar 6, 2007)

Same here, dont want to sound rude or mean, but, suicide IS selfish, when people talk about it with others, is because they are looking for attention and pity, and i think that what they really want is help but they are too affraid to ask


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## michal_cohen (Mar 6, 2007)

ive thinked about it when i was younger

but its just not right to think about it

you will not know what you will have in the futer we all have our ups and dowen all you need is paishnt and time

to make this pain heal

dont give up on yourself

we here for you if you want to talk


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## Savvy_lover (Mar 6, 2007)

you guys are much more mature and have seen way more than me in life. my problem would be little piece of s*** to you all only. but to me its been bad my whole life. i could never get friends since primary school. not in high school either, ha NOT IN UNIVERSITY EITHER ! there are always people who tell others not to be with me. and i never found out why. the people who come to me only because they want to ask me things on school . and i'm nothing other than like a tutor to them. after they finished asking they're all gone . without a trace. some have told me they saw me and is already scared by the way i look. cause they think i look angry al the time.

my mom has told me i m only good at school. and before i started studying initially she said i was nothing but a slightly smarter kid. when i started to do my own studyings she said i know nothing but study. she always bragged how good i was in school when i was younger cause i was exceptionally good then and other than that nothing is good about me. so after all these years i have come to known that i'm nothing but a person that does good in school and when i dont i'm nothing anymore. i do not think anyone would love me for who i really am. cause i'm nothing but everyone can do. i never understand why i would have a bf that says he actually loves me for who i am. cause i'm nothing. i'm nothing but someone for people to ask advice on homework and test. what is my value in this world? i m freaking useless once i dont function the way people want me to. and recently i m out of order. i m lost . school stress my life long friendless probs gotten to me. i m just 20 i don't want to be dragged by my whole childhood already.


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## blueangel1023 (Mar 6, 2007)

If you have thoughts about suicide, I would strongly suggest getting help or going through some therapy. Killing yourself isn't the key, and certainly not worth it...Sure, it'll end your life problems (literally) but think about all the people close to you that would have to face the fact you're dead. My friend hung himself last month in the bathroom...I've known him for 5 yrs. His mom was a nice lady. He was a DJ, a talented artist, got accepted to a nice school with scholarship, and ended his life at 24. He had a lot going on for him, people who were there for him, and yet he just lost it...Family and friends had to spend their valentine's day mourning his death. Maybe he finally got what he wanted, by ending his life...but was all that really worth it?

Everyone has problems and issues. That's the fact of life. Your goal is to deal with it and try to make the best of it as much as possible. I think anyone who commits suicide is being selfish. You're given life and yet you choose to take it away. Imagine all the people in the world going through starvation, diseases, deformaties, etc, and yet they have the will to go on with their life. Don't end yours with a such a selfless act. Please get help. I assure you, things will get better.


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## Saje (Mar 6, 2007)

No one but yourself dictates your value in this world.

Suicide does nothing to fix the situation other than passing on your pain to the people you care about.

You obviously have people in your life such as your boyfriend who care about you yet you question it.

Go get some help. Talk to people who can actually be there for you in person, a doctor, your boyfriend, your mom.

Also, If you know whats bothering you about your life, instead of running away from it, go do something about it.

I'm sorry if I sould mean, I just have no sympathy for people who consider killing themselves over other alternatives.


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## emily_3383 (Mar 6, 2007)

Saje i agree with you. Killing yourself is not the answer, i really have nothing else to add since you all said what i was thinking. I think its good that you are telling someone even if its just online.


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## magosienne (Mar 6, 2007)

you wanna know what idid? i missed some exams in my second year in university so i could do one more second year, just because my parents kept telling me people always f*** their first year, if not the second. it wasn't planned at all but taking a look back, i feel like if i've worked a bit harder for one exam i could have passed. and i stopped being good at sport when i was five because my teachers said i was too good to be naturally gifted for that. and because i've been the newbie in junior high school, and because i've been hit for that, i also ate many packs of cookies, so now i have some weight to loose.

from all this, i learned one thing : you are who you are. you are gifted for study, ok. you're GOOD for something. it isn't much for you, but you are talented. many people have to work hard just so they can compare to you. they feel you're naturally good at it, so they come to you because they envy you somehow. and maybe they're scared a bit. they make you feel bad so they can feel good. frankly in these situations, i just realise sometimes you're better off alone. you are a nice girl who help people when they need, even if it is for homework. if you don't like it, just don't help them.make them know your limits, that you are a nice girl but not their little slave. sometimes, when i feel bad and wonders "what's the point?", i just think of what i could become in the future.

i could have my own apartment, have a nice job with a cool paycheck at the end of the month, i could buy myself some pretty things, clothes, jewelry, makeup, i could buy myself a big house where i could put all my books and buy more, etc...

there's always more to life than you can see, and there's so many wonders in the world, it would be sad if you can't see them with your own eyes because of some morons.  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />


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## Kathy (Mar 6, 2007)

I have to agree with everyone else here! Killing yourself is NOT the answer! Life has its ups and downs. You're 20...you have your whole life ahead of you! Get help if you have problems with depression and feeling useless. We ALL have those feelings sometimes. You just have to get some help and work through it. Also...there is NOTHING WRONG with being good in school! That is something to be proud of, not ashamed of!


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## han (Mar 6, 2007)

HELL NO i never thought of killing myself no matter how low i get.. besides im to chicken to do it.

i agree with others that you should seek help if your haveing those thoughts, and although people find it selfish i really dont want to judge because you really never know what its like for someone to feel so low and the only way out for them is to die, thats got to be a really sad lonely place to feel that hopeless. please get help


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## MandyPandy (Mar 6, 2007)

I've been in the hospital for attempting suicide. I have had a long hard road with depression, but there is a way out. Get yourself some help please -- you don't have to deal with this alone! Do you have a doctor you could talk to?


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## michal_cohen (Mar 6, 2007)

what you talking about

i was a bad student i didnt even finished school

my dad never loves me

and last year my mom fast a way and i living with him and he bossing me around all day

(i have a brother but we never reallt talk)

all my family bugin me to get married and have kids

but i dont want kids

im workin as a clening lady and i ern so little and my dad want money every month or elles he will kick out of the house

i dont have any frieds they all left me when my mom died thay said i didnt had time for them

my only friend in my real life is my ex i used to date him 9 years and he used to treat me so bad t crase me and to hit me sometimes

but becuse i felt worthless i let him

thanks to the ppl here and someone spticelar i broke with him

but we still frined we talk everyday

the last guy i almost dated just wanted sex from me

i had so many bulshit in my life but i always look forword what i can do

what can i be

i know how you fee

heck im 26 single with lazy job and without frindes

but hey i meet in this site such an icredble ppl that showed me that altho i didnt reach anything

i went to a lot of things that i strong and i didnt let anything to break me

im tanking god that i alive and that i met all thos incrduble pp

im here everyday you can check

feel free to pm me anytime


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## jennycateyez (Mar 6, 2007)

so sorry u feel like that.. i agree u need some kind of help... if it's from ur family or from a doctor. i used to always think about killing myself intil i had my daughter so i know where ur coming from.


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## AnnaBelle (Mar 6, 2007)

Well said Aquilah!

I've had suicidal thoughts, but I didn't act on them. They were more of a depressive/I can't see this situation getting any better kind of thing.

I sought help through a counselor, and it gave me someone to talk to, someone to vent to. That really helped.

Killing yourself is not the answer! Please don't do this. Find someone to talk to, please get help!


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## SherryAnn (Mar 6, 2007)

I'm sorry that other people haven't taken the opportunity to make friends with you and see that you are a wonderful person to know.

To kill yourself is a PERMANENT decision. It is not like a temporary solution that will ease your pain, or something that you can change later. Once it's done, it's done. You get no second chance to fix it. It is NOT a solution, it only causes worse problems.

I don't have any advice that the girls here haven't already given, but I want to encourage you to KEEP GOING strong at school and believe in yourself! Being in the early 20's is hard on most people - you are coming out of your childhood into being an adult and it is extremely difficult. I would NOT want to relive my early 20's at all.

Hold your head up high and be proud of yourself. You have something to offer in friendship, and when the right person comes along and recognizes that you will have a deep rooted friendship that will last a lifetime. And that is something you don't want to miss out on!


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## Shelley (Mar 6, 2007)

Suicide is not the answer. I think it is wonderful that you are smart and do well in school, that is something to be proud of. As for your mother, I can relate to how you are feeling I was always told I was nothing, never would be anything, nobody would love me etc. I think it is a good sign that you posted this thread on this forum. It is a sign that you want help or support.

Please continue to talk to us. Also it would be a good idea to talk to your medical doctor, or anyone you trust, whether it be a neighbour, uncle, etc.

I thought about suicide a few times in the past. When I was with my abusive exbf I thought about killing myself to end the pain and beatings. He would often hand me a large bottle of tylenol and say if he should ever die, that I should end my life because no other man will love me.I am not sure what clicked into my head but I then realized that if I did that, he would win, and never attemptd it.

As for questioning your bf's love... I can relate. Due to my ex's emotional abuse I use to question anyone who was nice to me. I would worry or think, hmm.. maybe they are nice to me today , but just maybe the next day they will turn their back on me and walk away. But I think it is due to how your mom has treated you and others. With me it was my parents and exbf.


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## rlise (Mar 6, 2007)

well i actually tried to ummm... go and see the supposed white lite! but alas, my mother caught me and screamed &amp; cried that she couldnt live this life w/o me in it ! and i realized it isnt fair to anyone when you commit suicide! LIFE isnt fair.... sometimes its your mom, bro, sis , cousin, bf, gf, aunt, uncle, whomever or whatever.! none of most of our lives are fair! but YOU ARE SOMETHING. i used to feel and see myself as a big blob of GOO .. nasty right! well after zoloft and just talking about my issues to anyone i could.. i figured out alot.

honestly i am not a believer in paying money to go talk to someone about your problems, when you can get the same advice from the neighborhood grandmother somewhere down your street! remove yourself from the people that make you seem to feel this way. and make a new road for yourself. its the only way too go! yes its lonely at first and very hard but i promise eventually you will attract what you so desire... its just how the universe works!

seriously no joke! about 1-2 months ago this guy i knew was so depressed about who knows what and he was playing around w/ a rope in his attic and guess he put the rope around his neck and slipped.... and now he is DEAD !

FINISH school, make something wonderful out of yourself. do whatever makes you happy! if you want to go study and the grab a coffee, go and do just that... if you have to do alone , so be it... when you get there make jokes w/ the people giving you service... behappy and laugh ... life is really too short! good luck girl!


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## jeansguyokc (Mar 6, 2007)

No, can't say I ever have.


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## StrangerNMist (Mar 6, 2007)

I completely agree with Aquilah. If you're feeling this bad, then you need to get some help, pronto!

This is going to sound really, really brutal, but suicide is a really cowardly way of dealing with life's problems. Seriously, what's it going to solve? Absolutely nothing! Like others have said, death is permanant and you're not going to get a second chance at. Think of all the things that you'll be missing out on. All the things that you've ever wanted to do, and all the places that you've wanted to see won't be a possibility anymore. People who do really well in school actually go on to lead very successful, rich, and fulfilling lives! Just imagine what you could do with that education! I would give anything to have your brains! It would be a pity not to tap into all that massive potential!

Imagine all the people that you would hurt if you left this world. Imagine the pain that you would put your boyfriend through. How do you think it would feel to not be able to be with the love of your life?

Imagine what it would be like rolling over in the middle of the night reaching out for your loved one, and realizing that the person that you care about is not there to cuddle with, even after having a bad nightmare. Imagine not being able to hug, kiss, or make love to your significant other.

Imagine not being able to talk with them again, or laugh with them again.

Imagine not having someone to talk to when you're feeling lonely. That would be a complete bummer for me.

You won't be able to spend any holidays together anymore, or celebrate any birthdays with that person.

Imagine not having someone to share your secrets with...

Your dreams with...

Your everything with...

I tell ya, that would be a major bummer!

What about being able to wake up in the morning to see the sun shining on your face, and feeling the warmth of it on your back.

What about the nice cool breezes on hot summer days?

The taste of chocolate? (I would definitely miss that!)

The smell of freshly cut grass after the rain.

Going to the movies.

Midnight cruises around town.

How about breakfast in bed, wouldn't you miss that?

Cute puppy dogs?

Cut kitties?

What about taking trips to museums? You would miss that, wouldn't you? I know I would.

Long, late night love making sessions?

Makeup?

Getting married?

Having babies?

Seeing cute babies?

Just imagine the things you won't be able to do, and/or experience.

Seriously, killing yourself really isn't worth it, being that there's really alot out there to live for.

I say reconsider and see where life takes you and enjoy the experience.

*GREAT BIG BEAR HUGZ*


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## AngelaGM (Mar 6, 2007)

Please get some help or call the suicide hotline in your area! We are all here for you! Please feel free to PM or IM me at anytime as I know how you feel. I have a mood disorder and I have been suicidal in the past.


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## Andi (Mar 6, 2007)

I can only agree with some of the others. Get professional help ASAP! IÂ´m sure you can find a counselor at your university or just a general physician. It sounds like you need to do something about your situation RIGHT NOW. Having had depressive episodes (and now getting treatment) I know itÂ´s the hardest thing to actively do something about it. You basically just wanna let yourself hang there and feel sorry for yourself (I did that a lot!) and watch yourself go down..you hope people will realize you feel bad and offer their help.

You canÂ´t always count on other people though. So you need to help yourself...help yourself to some help basically. Go see someone!!!!

I canÂ´t end this post without saying something though...calling suicide an "easy way out" or something similar is the worst thing to say to someone who is depressed/suicidal. Suicide is of course not a solution, but we have to keep in mind that when people are in so much emotional pain already the last thing they need is to be made to feel guilty about wanting to attempt suicide.

Girl, I hope you get help and at one point see the positive things in your life. You need to re-learn to SEE all this. You do great in school, you are smart, which many people are/would be jealous of. You have to start to learn to love yourself again. IÂ´m sorry about the people that make you feel down (I have experienced the same thing), nobody deserves this.

Good luck, hon!


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## Shelley (Mar 6, 2007)

I totally agree!


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## dixiewolf (Mar 6, 2007)

I have been suicidal myself. I tried to kill myself in high school, and in my adult years, obviously it didnt work, I woke up. I read the best article about this, it made me never want to attempt again. I will post it when I get home, b/c I am about to leave. It was a real eye-opener. I also knew some people from my high school that killed themselves, it's absolutely horrible to find out someone you know well committed suicide.


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## Dragonfly (Mar 6, 2007)

I am really sorry that you are in such pain.

It's been a long time since I was 20, but I still remember my life back then.

It sounds like a lot of expectations have been placed upon you.

And not enough appreciation.

Being 20 is an interesting age - halfway between adulthood and childhood.

And there is lots of transformation. More people want you to be responsible but still feel they can control you.

In a short time you can be off to post secondary education and starting a new page. You will be around others that have similar interests and goals.

Can you make an appointment with a councellor and talk about your feelings?

You may be completeyly overwhelmed so opening up with someone you trust might help immensely.

I have a mood disorder that has caused me to think about suicide from time to time. I can definately relate to it's seductiveness.

Please post more often because everyone cares about you and doesn't want you to hurt yourself.

PM me any time you want to talk honey.


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## Dubsbelle (Mar 6, 2007)

I have been this low before.....and I THANK GOD that I didn't do anything I would regret.

We all have problems and while only you know what you are feeling, I can only say that you need to keep going at it....keep your head up!

Don't deny yourself happiness by ending your life. You WILL find happiness, things will get better.... You have the power to change your life. I know you feel like all this negativity is bringing you down, but you really can change it. keep working hard at school, graduate, get yourself a job and then go for what you want.

Talk to someone, your boyfriend. Lean on him for support. Let him know how you feel. Don't be afraid to go to someone. And if all else fails....pray....who cares to what....just pray. SOMEONE or something will hear you.

We're here for you...you do have friends  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />


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## macface (Mar 6, 2007)

I tried to kill my self over something so stupid I overdose in painkillers after I did that I confessed to my mom what I had drank I told my sister to call 911.They had me in a hospital for a day.then I had to go to a mental hospital after that I got out that same after noon.trust me you dont know how much life means to me now please dont do it.get help talk to somebody.


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## Saje (Mar 6, 2007)

I have no problem telling someone who tells me that they are considering suicide any of that because that is the truth. I will not sugar coat for anyone what suicide is just so I can justify their actions or not make them feel bad for thinking it.

I understand that it is a low point in ones life, and a cry for help if she posted the fact that she thought about it here. I am very willing to support anyone going through any rough time, as we have all, in one way or another have experienced or are experiencing shit in our lives and we can all empathize and sympathize with problems.

But I am not willing to support a decision as drastic as that, I will tell you, straight up, that its not right. May it be a lecture, but for someone to consider something as drastic as taking ones own life, they have to hear the cold, harsh truth that Suicide will not, and will never solve anyones problems. All it ever gets anyone is the opportunity to rot with worms and leave a heavy burden of emotional pain and confusion for those people who cared about you.

Might I add, to Savvy Lover, I may not know you in real life, but I speak the same things here online, as I would if I were there beside you, face-to-face right now. I am angry and sad about this and I care enough about you and the people around you to be typing this and hoping that you'd get better and find the help you need during this troubled time - I hug you for your problems but I smack your hand for considering that thought.


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## LovinPigments (Mar 7, 2007)

iv thought of it but just for a second...i would never go through with it tho..i love life tooooo much!  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />


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## KristieTX (Mar 7, 2007)

Yes, I have thought and attempted. I am bipolar and suffer from major depression. There are still times when I consider it, even now. I also have OCD, self destructive behavior and social anxiety disorder. So I am a textbook case of mental illness.

I will tell you that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. And not a good solution either.

My school years were horrific and I started realizing that I was severely mentally ill when I was 15. At 16, I attempted.

I still deal with issues by beating the hell out of myself on occasion. I have given myself bloody bruises before. So I understand what you are going through. And ya know what? I'm still glad to be alive.


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## SherryAnn (Mar 7, 2007)

Also check this out:

::1.800.SUICIDE - National Suicide Prevention Hotline::

Call 1(800)SUICIDE [1-800-784-2433] for help, day or night.


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## MissMudPie (Mar 7, 2007)

I've been depressed enough that I didn't care whether or I lived or died, but I don't want to be the one to decide when my life ends.

Please get help. :hugss:


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## TheJadedDiary (Mar 7, 2007)

Oh sweetie,

You definately need to get some professional help

As everyones said, suicide is not the answer.

I tried to kill myself, and you know what happened? It didn't work.

I ended up in hospital throwing up the meds i overdose on.

I missed out on the concert that i was basically living for because i was so excited about it, it was like the only thing that kept me happy.

But i screwed myself over, and my family and friends.

You really don't want to end up in hospital attached to a machine with bandages on your wrists with a friend bawling her eyes out after taking one look at you, you don't want to end up surving and walking around with scars all over your wrists.

Attempting suicide also meant my mum felt that it was HER fault, i really didn't want anyone to even care about me but they did care..

And if you do kill yourself, imagine how hard it would be for the person who finds you? For the person who has to clean up your blood(if you shot yourself, or cut)? It's not a pretty job but someone will have to do it, Imagine the looks your family will get when other people find out, they'll be recieving looks of disgust, thinking that it's all their fault, thinking theyve failed as parents.

It's just not worth it.

As people say; Suicide is a permanant solution to a temporary problem.

Stay strong sweetie.

xoxo


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## jessimau (Mar 7, 2007)

I'm so sorry to hear you've been feeling this way. Your problems are most definitely not trivial, especially if you're feeling this badly about yourself because of them. There is hope, although it may not look like it right now. If you're feeling like you're in danger, getting help to keep you safe is a good idea. You can call a suicide hotline, go to your doctor, or even the emergency room if you feel like you might do something to yourself. Remember that there is hope for you. Things can get better. You have to take the first step by getting help, but the fact that you wrote something here to us suggests that you want help and that you'll be able to find a doctor or psychologist who can help you. Please keep us updated -- we're all pulling for you.


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## Savvy_lover (Mar 7, 2007)

i m not good at it anymore. n i dunno my value of life. my happiness is always built on other people... i dun have any happiness that belong to me if u know whati mean. u cant keep anything 4ever or not even for long u afraid of losing them and one day if u really them u r not happy anymore. I just want to get drunk for a lil while so that maybe i d forgetabout hurting myself . i just woke up this morning and realised my head has a big blue mark becoz i was hitting myself in my forehead with my hand last night feeling the pain. i just cant think clearly sometimes n i do things without thinking about it . my bf wouldnt let me drink. he said i m gona do sth stupid. i just wanna be unconscious for a lil while and he ask me to see psychologist.he wont let me drink. and what can he do hes so far away from me hes in US and i m in HK. he said thjinking about killing yourself isnt normal. then i m not normal... i dunno what i m talking about i just know i m alone without him. and i m not doing anything useful to myself or anyone else.


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## jessimau (Mar 7, 2007)

Savvy, please find a suicide hotline or a psychologist. I think what your boyfriend was trying to express was how concerned he is for you, but he just expressed it poorly. It sounds like you're really down on yourself and don't have much hope, but there is hope, especially if you can find someone to talk to. I'm not sure how things are in Hong Kong, but I imagine that it might be a little more difficult to find psychologists due to cultural differences between HK and the US. Finding someone to talk to could help you start feeling better about yourself and give you hope for the future. The way things are now is not how things will stay. The fact that you reached out to us speaks volumes about you and your inner strength. You are worth so much more than you see right now. Please find someone who can help you. And remember, if you're feeling like you're in immediate danger, please go to the emergency room.


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## MissMissy (Mar 7, 2007)

God i know what you feel. believe you me! I have tried to commit suicide a lot .. in the last two years i have not attempted but have thought about it. i used to cut my wrist really really bad i was sent to a hospital for sick people. . it did help. I saw people who tried burning themselves to death wrecking there car and a girl that was bald from pulling her hair out..!! It was too much to add to my stress i had to learn that i was not the way for me. But not all people are that fortunate. People see things differently When i want to this hospital i made friends and i was not alone but the program did nothing. it was the friends i had in there and the support from everyone else. But like i said not everyone is the same the program might have worked for others.. So i do say it did help me. My scares have finally faded but one. It is on my ankle, it was the beginning of my cutting i carved a boyfriends name in me. (STUPID AND PAINFUL) :10: I don't think i ever gained anything out of cuttin myself though. I am glad i have found the courage to find other things to do when i get like that i usually go watch a movie and fall asleep. When i wake up i feel better but not all people are like that. You dont think you have anyone that will miss you. But you dont really realize it till your gone! I do agree with the other go get some help. i know it is not something you want to do, but in the long run you will meet friends and find a side of you you havent seen in awhile I know from experience hunny. My prayers are with you!!


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## SherryAnn (Mar 7, 2007)

Tell me this...are you in Hong Kong because you are a student? I am trying to figure out if you are from there or if you are over there for a different reason.


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## dixiewolf (Mar 7, 2007)

*the article I was trying earlier to find*

*Suicide Is Not Painless*

_Guns aren't lawful; _

Nooses Give;

Gas smells awful;

You might as well live.

_*Dorothy Parker *1893-1967: 'Resume' (1937) _

If the topic of suicide seems particularly gruesome or morbid, that's because it is meant to be. Suicide is not a fool-proof or painless proposition. The fact is that suicides fail and even when they succeed, it may not be at all like what you had imagined.

*Even the Best Planned Suicide Can Fail*

The New England Journal of Medicine &lt;/I&gt;(Feb 22, 2001, Vol. 344, No. 8) dealing with physician assisted suicide shows that even with expert medical advice, things can and do go wrong. The study was conducted in the Netherlands, where euthanasia is legal. *Sponsored Links*

Depression DisabilityQualify for Disability if you can't work due to your Depression.www.allsupinc.com

Signs of DepressionLearn about the Signs, Symptoms, and Treatments for Depressionwww.Depression-Web.com

Depression SymptomsAnswers to your questions about depression and more!emotional.health.ivillage.com

Some of the statistics reported:


In 16% of cases where patients tried to kill themselves with drugs prescribed by a doctor, the medication did not work as expected. 
Technical problems or unexpected side effects occurred 7% of the time. 
Problems occurred so often that in 18% of cases a doctor had to intervene to ensure death. 
Even when a doctor performed the procedure, patients took longer to die than expected or awoke from a drug-induced coma that was meant to be fatal in 6% of cases.
If a physician can't pull off a perfect suicide, what are the odds that you will? *Suicide is Not Pretty*

Assuming your suicide does go as planned, what do you imagine will be the scene left behind? Do you have glamorous fantasies of being found with a peaceful smile upon your face? Consider the following:


When you die, you lose control of your bodily functions. To put it nicely, you defecate and urinate on yourself. 
If you have taken an overdose, you may vomit before you become unconscious. 
Violent forms of suicide such as cutting ones wrists, hanging or gunshots leave a very grisly task for whoever has to clean up afterwards. 
Victims of strangulation and hanging will be bloated and purple. 
Your chosen method of self-annihilation may present a safety hazard to whoever finds you.
*The High Cost of Living*

So what are the consequences if you survive a suicide attempt?

The best is that you will live to discover the truth about depression: that it really is a temporary condition. Circumstances change and medications work. The old saying that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem is sage advice. When the blinders of depression are lifted you see very clearly how true this is.

The worst result of a failed suicide is that you will be worse off than you were before. Consider these facts:


If your brain goes without an oxygen supply for more than about three minutes, you will suffer permanent brain damage. 
Gunshot wounds that miss will leave you with permanent disfigurement and disability. 
Overdoses on many substances will leave you with damage to kidneys and liver. 
People who have swallowed caustic substances like lye can survive with severe burns to their GI tract. 
Just about all suicide methods have the risk of severe, possibly prolonged pain if things go awry.
*The Hurt Doesn't Go Away After Suicide *

Perhaps the most common reason people commit suicide is to stop the pain the are feeling inside. The thing is, the pain doesn't go away. It gets transferred to those you love. Your parents, your spouse or significant other, your kids, your friends and acquaintances. Everybody you know is touched to some extent by suicide. Grief is one of the strongest emotions a person can feel. Do you really want to make your loved ones feel the sort of pain you are feeling? Think about it. If you are convinced that people will be better off without you, you are dead wrong.

*It's Your Choice *

This article is not meant to be an all-inclusive list of reasons why you should not take your own life, but is meant to give you a starting point in really thinking about what it is that you are considering. If you are reading this, then you are an intelligent person who is capable of making informed choices about where you want your life to go. Do you really want your life to end? Or just the pain? Depression is a treatable illness. If what you really want is relief from your depression then you owe it to yourself to exhaust all of your treatment options before choosing the final solution of death.


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## SierraWren (Mar 8, 2007)

> I canÂ´t end this post without saying something though...calling suicide an "easy way out" or something similar is the worst thing to say to someone who is depressed/suicidal. Suicide is of course not a solution' date=' but we have to keep in mind that when people are in so much emotional pain already the last thing they need is to be made to feel guilty about wanting to attempt suicide.
> I completely agree with this true--very well put!! Saje, I know that you mean well, but as someone who has suffered from severe depression well over half my life, as well as made a suicide attempt, I find it very harsh and emotionally unfair for you to essentially scold someone for even having the mere "thought" of suicide---believe me, suicidal thoughts are the last thing the depressed people themselve wants to be having,either. But the fact is that no one, least of all people tormented by despair and depression and guilt and hopelessness, has control over what they might begin to THINK and FEEL are their only options. The last thing a suicidal person needs is to be made to feel MORE guilty, more isolated, more condemned by others than he or she already does feel. Hearing such criticism of them will not make a suicidal person feel better--where possible, it will truly make them feel worse-- so what is the point of harsh lectures? Compassion and acceptance potentially work much more effectively towards saving a life than moralizing, judgement and intolerance do.
> 
> SavvyLover, please realize you are a very gifted young woman with talents and inteligence other people would love to have, and certainly envy you for. Being extremely intelligent is something to be proud of!--and,when you are less isolated and depressed, you will be able to realize this, and make the most of your life. Right now,though, your perception of yourself is entirely negative--completely distorted--so you are not able to see any of your good points;I think,too, being isollated as you are is only adding to your despair.Feeling suicidal, depressed, or utterly alone, and needing help, are not things to be ashamed of, and reaching out, too,to others, the way you just have, takes courage and is something to be PROUD of!And there are people out here who do care about you---and who have felt similar to the way you do--just look at all the heartfelt responses you've brought up. I think the first step for you is to recognize--or believe the people here,if you can't see it yet yourself!--how precious your life is, and find a therapist/psychiatrist,as the first stepion bringing your life back to you. I have a chemical imbalance myself which is at the root of a lot of my depression(not all); pehaps an antidepressant of some kind could start to help clear things up for you, so you could get to work on changing and healing and beginning yor life.
> ...


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## Saje (Mar 8, 2007)

perhaps its different from my perspective as most of the people posting here share the sentiments and experiences of the original poster as I am on the spectrum of someone who has lost someone to a suicide.


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## jessimau (Mar 8, 2007)

Saje, your response is completely understandable considering that you've lost someone to suicide. One thing to try to keep in mind is that when you hear/read things like this, your anger at the person who committed suicide may come out. When I first read your response I could tell you were hurt by losing someone to suicide and you might have some residual anger about the situation that reacts to situations like this. I think it's an understandable reaction and I think that people at a certain point can hear what you're saying, but I think that in the depths of depression and suicidal ideation is not the time. What's most helpful is hope and support, if you're able to offer it.


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## mandy_ (Mar 8, 2007)

Suicide is not the answer.

Life is hard. Life is unfair. Life sucks sometimes. That's ALL part of life though. Things will get better, you never know who will walk into your life and change things. You never know how things will change in the future. You were put on earth for a reason, for some purpose. You just haven't found it yet. Do you really want to miss out on your future, the chance at a family, and children? So maybe your childhood/teenage/young adult years weren't great. What if your adulthood is amazing. You'll never know if you attempt to kill yourself.

Think of all the people who will miss you, think of the people who will cry for you. It's not fair to them, and it's not fair to you to end your life before it is supose to end. We've all had rough times in our lives, everyone has to deal with things that just plain suck. You just can't give up. You have to tough it out. I know you can. Even if you think that nobody cares, I can think of a ton of people on this board that would care if you were gone. So don't think that nobody cares about you &lt;33

1.800.SUICIDE [1-800-784-2433] - The people there will be able to help you. Even if you just need someone to talk to on the phone, they will be there to talk, to listen to your problems.

Best wishes dear.


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## Andi (Mar 8, 2007)

> great post!


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## Loreal (Mar 8, 2007)

I totally don't mean this to sound...touchy-feeling/rude/whatever  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" /> but God created you for a purpose, and your life isn't yours to take, just like you can't take someone else's life. God loves you more than you could possibly fathom, and even when other people don't love you (which I'm sure they do!!) He still loves you!!! He loves you no matter what you've done!! (fortunatly for everyone!!)


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## Jessica (Mar 8, 2007)

I am really sorry hun for all that you're going through. I too have thought of suicide but I know that I could not harm myself. I also was scared that i would be a lost soul in hell if i commited suicide. Which is ironic because I really am not into religion. I really think you need to take the advice of the muters who have posted here. There is a lot of great advice. If there is one piece of advice i could give you......it would be to PLEASE go get HELP!!!!!! There is nothing to be ashamed of!!!! I will be thinking of you!!!!


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## Savvy_lover (Mar 10, 2007)

thank you all for your concern.it kinda made me feel better. i m sorry i havent been posting anything. So as you all know, i m still alive. no i didnt kill myself yet. i ve been drinking last 2 nights and its been sth that makes me feel much better. soon i can feel better without getting drunk. thank you all very much again.


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## blackmettalic (Mar 10, 2007)

I'm glad you are doing better. I had suicidal thoughts during my turbulent teens, but didn't want to hurt my family. I know about feeling merely intellectual and feeling out of place in many settings. I have determined that I can relate to older people, as opposed to the shallow people in my age range. And I'm sorry that your Mom and whoever else is trying to bring you down. For me, what helps is having a dream. For me it is journalism and now I have an internship at my local paper. I would suggest that you find an outlet, whether it is art, drama club, etc. Something that you feel at home in and perhaps you will find friends with your similar interest. I also went through a severe depression in the middle of my college years and felt like I could do nothing right. I just had to trust God, step back and say hey, I'm not going to stress out and think about what I should have accomplished by now. This is my life's journey and I'm going to take it. You have a journey to take to, so don't cut it short!  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />


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## StrangerNMist (Mar 11, 2007)

Well said.

I agree. It's good to have a healthy outlet for what you're feeling right now, it'll help you deal with what you're dealing with right now.

I'm hoping you're feeling better Savvy! You know we have your back here. *BIG BEAR HUGZ*


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## Sheikah (Mar 17, 2007)

The only thing I have to add to the great posts that have been made is that the only thing constant in this life is change. No matter how dark it looks and how lost you feel at the moment, even thought it looks like it will never change it does. The first thing you have to do is seeking help with a psycologist. Then you will have the tools you need to start loving yourself without the need of others and when you achieve that others will be attracted to you. When you are confident and love yourself people are drawn to you. This is going to be a slow process but it will be worth it and some years after this you'll be looking back to this day glad that you didn't do what you were thinking of doing.

Hang on! Seek help like we all have advised and I'm sure soon you'll starts seeing things different.

Hope you feel better soon hun!


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## CellyCell (Mar 17, 2007)

I get depressed - and never thought suicidal until last night. Which thinking back was kinda scary, but I was drunk. So...

I know depression, bi-polar, &amp; schizophrenia hits our family hard and it could possibly be hereditary still for me. But I don't think I can get to that point. Hopefully I never will - I always see it as a bump on the road, watch a comedy and I'll get over whatever it is. I keep thinking that to myself and you should too.


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## Karen_B (Mar 17, 2007)

Yes, I have thought about it. I think most people do on some occasion. Myself, I have gone through depression and was put on medication and went to therapy. I feel a lot better now.

You don't have to have gone through something terribly traumatic in order to get depressed to the point of wanting to die. Depression is a complex disease, with both biological and environmental factors as causative agents.

To people who know someone who kills themselves, suicide undeniable is selfish. I know my parents would be completely devasted if I died. But for the person who is suicidal, often life can seem so painful or just plain pointless that it seems unbearable to go on. From a more philosophical standpoint, you could also say that everyone has the right to make decisions about their own life, and that includes when it is supposed to end.

But of course, from a realistic point of view, we can't endorse suicide. If you have suicidal thoughts, please seek help. It is possible to live a better life. There is beauty in you and in the world, and with the right help you can start seeing that too  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />


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## Peterj (Mar 17, 2007)

*STOP STOP STOP*

At your age you have so much to look forward to, and if you reach the stage where you think of suicide the only way is up, keep in touch with friends and family, and don`t be afraid to ask for support, it`s amazing how much you wil get and how loved you are by so many.

My bro;ther has been in the same position, he suffers from depression, but once he opened up and spoke to people about his problems, he realised what a wonderful life he had to look forward to. Cheer up look at all the friends who are offering you support in this forum.


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## jessiej78 (Mar 17, 2007)

I agree. I just came on here, and to be honest, am shocked at some of the cruel things that were said. And I suspect that some of the people making those kind of comments (although not all) have probably never been in that situation, and that is why they are insensitive about it.


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## emily_3383 (Mar 17, 2007)

I dont think anyone is being insensitive I just think that people have different opinions on suicide.


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## han (Mar 17, 2007)

i agree that no one was being insensitive, just giveing you there honest opinion.. some times what we need to hear isnt always what we want to hear..


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## jessimau (Mar 17, 2007)

The problem is that shaming someone who's already depressed and came on here looking for help is only going to make them feel worse. Maybe it didn't look or feel like shaming to the people who said it, but having a bunch of people all say "suicide is selfish/a cop out/the easy way out" is pretty much saying "shame on you for even thinking about it -- there are other people who matter more." Reminding someone of all the people in their life who would be upset by their passing is one thing, but saying "don't do it, it's selfish" is something else entirely.


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## emily_3383 (Mar 17, 2007)

Then i rather not say anything if i cant be honest.


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