# Really Poorly Written News Headlines



## Darla (Aug 29, 2008)

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says 

Police Begins Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers

Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should be Belted

Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case

Survivor of Siamese Twins Joins Parents

Farmer Bill Dies in House

Iraqi Head Seeks Arms

Is There a Ring of Debris Around Uranus?

Stud Tires Out

Prostitutes Appeal to Pope

Panda Mating Falls; Veternarian Takes Over

Soviet Virgin Lands Short of Goal Again

British Left Waffles on Falkland Islands

Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms

Eye Drops off Shelf

Teacher Strikes Idle Kids

Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead

Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim

Shot Off Woman''s Leg Helps Nicklaus to 66

Enraged Cow Injures Farmer with Ax

Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told

Miners Refuse to Work After Death

Juvenile Court to try Shooting Defendant

Stolen Painting Found by Tree

Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies

Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years in Checkout Counter

Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 years.

Never Withold Herpes Infection from Loved One

Drunken Driver Paid $1,000 in ''84

War Dims Hope for Peace

If Strike isn''t Settled Quickly, It May Last a While

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge

Dear Kill 17,000

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Tests Group

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

Chef Throws His Heart Into Helping Feed Needy

Arson Suspect Held in Massachussets Fire

British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply

Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood

Lansing Residents Can Drop Off Trees

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

New Vaccine May Contain Rabies

Man Minus Ear Waives Hearing

Deaf College Opens Doors to Hearing

Air Head Fired

Steals Clock, Faces Time

Prosecutor Releases Probe into Undersheriff

Old School Pillars Are Replacd by Alumni

Bank Drive-In Window Blocked by Board

Hospitals are Sued by Seven Foot Doctors

Some Pieces of Rock Hudson Sold at Auction

Sex Education Delayed, Teachers Request Training

Include Your Children When Baking Cookies


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## Adrienne (Aug 29, 2008)

"Is There a Ring of Debris Around Uranus?" Eww gross lol.


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## tuna_fish (Sep 4, 2008)

prostitues appeal to pope

hahahah!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## blueangel1023 (Sep 4, 2008)

"Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge" lol


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## Darla (Sep 4, 2008)

how about this


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## Shelley (Sep 7, 2008)

Ha ha! Those are funny.


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## Darla (Sep 7, 2008)




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## Darla (Sep 7, 2008)




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## Darla (Sep 7, 2008)




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## Annia (Sep 7, 2008)

rofl! These were amusing, thanks.


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## AngelaGM (Sep 7, 2008)

Those were hilarious!


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## vesna (Sep 7, 2008)

Those are pretty funny. Thanks for cheering me up.


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## Karren (Sep 8, 2008)

hahahahaha Must have been written by engineers!!


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## Darla (Sep 15, 2008)

this one is for Carolyn






Any sentence mentioning a condom and spilling a load can't be good


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## StereoXGirl (Sep 15, 2008)

"Kids Make Nutritious Snacks " is my fave. lol!


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