# The real reason for the pride in our Appearance



## Amber-126 (Jul 15, 2007)

As I read the post on men not liking makeup, and how people stated why they wore their makeup, an article I read a while ago popped into my head. In that article, the author stated that the real reason that many women take pride in their appearance {almost to excessive measures} was because of competition, and the need to build up our own appearance to compete with other _women _on levels of getting the job, or just plainly the need to feel attractive, more attractive than the woman who's in the club or in running for the same job as you.

Now we can go into how our makeup, designer bags and shades, and pampered hair and nails is just a means of expression and that you indulge in these things for the sake of individualism, merely you taking pride in your girly side, or for the sake of indulgence itself. However, I know I'm not the only one who feels, almost all the time that I must keep up my appearance and everyday that I walk out of the house I must look my absolute best (I tell myself this is just for good impression, I'll probably meet Mr.Right or at least Mr.Right-Now out while I walk to CVS to pick up some Light-bulbs and candy) but I also always wonder, is this really true?

As much as I don't like to admit it, I, and most of America would do almost anything, to be the best looking, sexiest, most beautiful woman in every room. I also admit that there are times when I wish I had this woman's this and that woman's that and sometimes when I do feel a little envious when a woman walks into a store with a hunky boyfriend and is a few sizes smaller than me, suddenly those jeans seem like they'll look as good on me as the one's she walked into the store with do on her. Than again, at a high school there's a lot of envy and cattiness that goes around. Sometimes people misunderstand me and believe I think I'm better than everyone else because of my clothes and makeup. Usually when people think that about me or say things behind my back it has the similar effect as the beautiful girl in the store. It takes me back to how the reason I bought the clothes was for individuality, and how my makeup was just me embracing my girly side, and how I simply have the right to indulge. Sometimes I feel guilty, both for embracing myself (because usually when people dislike you for being yourself you feel worse about who you are) and for placing the woman in the store where people who dislike and misunderstand me place me.

So, where do you stand in this debate? Do you agree that we take pride in our appearance to stand out and therefore rise above other people, namely those of the same sex?

Sorry if I placed this in the wrong forum, I was unsure if whether I should put it in Makeup or Deep Thoughts.


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## BeneBaby (Jul 15, 2007)

I think everyone wouold answer this differently. I don't really care why so and so wears those jeans or carries that bag. Personally I wear the things I do because I like it and it expresses who I am. I am not really the envious type. Of course I notice a woman if she is beautiful or in shape, but I don't compete with her? I am much more apt to compliment her than react in a catty way.

But, I am a victim of the latter side of this argument. I get treated catty by woman all the time. Looking me up and down, thinking I'm competing. Hearing people say "She wear makeup for attention from guys..." Pfff. I think that the way woman have treated me has shaped my behavoir and I try very hard to go as far as possible in the more kind direction.


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## kaylin_marie (Jul 15, 2007)

Oh yeah, i've always believed that a HUGE factor in a lot of women's vanity is how they want other women to see them. I make myself look nice b/c I enjoy hair/makeup/clothes etc, but I do definately have certain motives as far as how I want both men and women to see me.


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## BeneBaby (Jul 15, 2007)

Originally Posted by *kaylin_marie* /img/forum/go_quote.gif Oh yeah, i've always believed that a HUGE factor in a lot of women's vanity is how they want other women to see them. I make myself look nice b/c I enjoy hair/makeup/clothes etc, but I do definately have certain motives as far as how I want both men and women to see me. I will say...I value a compliment from a Woman more than a Man. First off they don't dish them out to other women often. Secondly Women are far more critical and detail-oriented when it comes to appearance. I dress for myself first, but I admit that the approval of another woman is rewarding.


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## CellyCell (Jul 15, 2007)

Originally Posted by *kaylin_marie* /img/forum/go_quote.gif Oh yeah, i've always believed that a HUGE factor in a lot of women's vanity is how they want other women to see them. I make myself look nice b/c I enjoy hair/makeup/clothes etc, but I do definately have certain motives as far as how I want both men and women to see me. Took the words right out of my mouth.
There's an enjoyment in getting ready, being pampered, or shopping for the 'right' clothes. I think that's my favorite process out of the whole thing.

When all that is said and done - I do at times do it to get noticed. I mean, what's the point in spending all that time and money and not getting any recognition for it?

"Hey, nice shoes" or "I love your eye makeup" - I do strive for those comments at times to feel better about myself. To raise my esteem. Not to become cocky or vain about it... just to reassure that if I take the time to take care of myself - others would notice. Good feelings.

I also do it to attract others. My outer appearance is the reflection of my inner. So I want them to see me for what I am since most people tend to judge a book by it's cover - if my personality doesn't come across first, that is.


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## Aprill (Jul 15, 2007)

First of all, lets not let this thread get heated cause that's not where it needs to go.

Second, I could care less what the next woman looks like, If I was to compete with someone else especially on appearance, then I would be shallow. Remember, this is JMO. I am confident in myself, and if i feel there are changes that need to be made, then I will make them based on me, not anyone else.

For the chicks that do that, if they like it I love it, but not for me.


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## BeneBaby (Jul 15, 2007)

That's so true Celly. I think appearance is what initially attracts, then you get the chance to let your spirit outshine your lipgloss and highheels.


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## kaylin_marie (Jul 15, 2007)

I don't think this thread would get heated...doesn't seem like an argument starter.


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## Aprill (Jul 15, 2007)

you never know.....


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## CellyCell (Jul 15, 2007)

You never know what Celly might say, you mean.

Haha. I keed, I keed.


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## kaylin_marie (Jul 15, 2007)

Originally Posted by *BeneBaby* /img/forum/go_quote.gif I will say...I value a compliment from a Woman more than a Man. First off they don't dish them out to other women often. Secondly Women are far more critical and detail-oriented when it comes to appearance. I dress for myself first, but I admit that the approval of another woman is rewarding. I DEFFINATELY hold a compliment from a women much closer than one from a man (not my fiance, but any random guy). For the exact same reason's you said. A guy will say you look nice, but a woman will really notice the time you took choosing accessories and doing your hair and makeup, etc. So it always make you feel a little better about yourself when another chick says "wow your eye makeup looks awesome, I love those colors" or "aww I love your outfit" ya know?


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## MindySue (Jul 15, 2007)

" I wish I had this woman's this and that woman's that "

That is how I feel all the time.

But then I take a look at myself, and I realize that I shouldnt be wishing this.

Im happy with the way I look (most of the time) and what I wear/use for makeup/hair works for me, so why should I want what works for someone else?

I am loving myself more and more as I grow older, and for that I am glad. I don't spend nearly as much time wishing I looked like so and so (amy lee for example, god shes gorgeous) and appreciate my own beauty. I appreciate others beauty for their own.

Originally Posted by *kaylin_marie* /img/forum/go_quote.gif I DEFFINATELY hold a compliment from a women much closer than one from a man (not my fiance, but any random guy). For the exact same reason's you said. A guy will say you look nice, but a woman will really notice the time you took choosing accessories and doing your hair and makeup, etc. So it always make you feel a little better about yourself when another chick says "wow your eye makeup looks awesome, I love those colors" or "aww I love your outfit" ya know? yep. i love when i get compliments from girls, they always are "whered you get that top, i love it" "i love your eye makeup!" and it feels like im appreciated for the stuff i actually work on, not just my natural beauty such as when a guy says 'youre hot' 
although those feel nice too..always nice to attract the opposite sex.


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## Aprill (Jul 15, 2007)

Originally Posted by *CellyCell* /img/forum/go_quote.gif You never know what Celly might say, you mean.
Haha. I keed, I keed.

haha dont do it Celly, dont do it


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## BeneBaby (Jul 15, 2007)

The worst is when you give a woman a compliment and she totally disses you after or gives a smug little smile. If a woman compliments me I make sure I thank her or share details about what she complimented me on.


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## CellyCell (Jul 15, 2007)

That happen to me at MAC - with them MA.

She looked at me like, "yeah - I know" type of look. Wtf, Beezy. I only said it to be courteous anyways. Haha.

Innerly I thought, "drag drag drag". Just for her tho. Just for her...


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## Aprill (Jul 15, 2007)

Originally Posted by *CellyCell* /img/forum/go_quote.gif That happen to me at MAC - with them MA.
She looked at me like, "yeah - I know" type of look. Wtf, Beezy. I only said it to be courteous anyways. Haha.

Innerly I thought, "drag drag drag". Just for her tho. Just for her...

hahaha


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## BeneBaby (Jul 15, 2007)

Yeah...I think we all get those "Pretty Woman" moments.... I used to just skulk away and regret the compliment. Now I kill em' with kindess and keep complimenting so they go home feeling like a jerk for their rude behavior.


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## kaylin_marie (Jul 15, 2007)

Originally Posted by *MindySue* /img/forum/go_quote.gif " I wish I had this woman's this and that woman's that "That is how I feel all the time.

But then I take a look at myself, and I realize that I shouldnt be wishing this.

Im happy with the way I look (most of the time) and what I wear/use for makeup/hair works for me, so why should I want what works for someone else?

I am loving myself more and more as I grow older, and for that I am glad. I don't spend nearly as much time wishing I looked like so and so (amy lee for example, god shes gorgeous) and appreciate my own beauty. I appreciate others beauty for their own.

yep. i love when i get compliments from girls, they always are "whered you get that top, i love it" "i love your eye makeup!" and it feels like im appreciated for the stuff i actually work on, not just my natural beauty such as when a guy says 'youre hot'

although those feel nice too..always nice to attract the opposite sex.

Let me tell you, YOU have features that I would KILL to have myself. But I'm the same way I often think things like "I wish I had her arms" lol cause mine are so bony, but I have grown to usually like the way I look. And it's always nice to get the "Where'd you get that....." comments hehe even though I usually say I just got it on the internet.


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## mayyami (Jul 15, 2007)

At the end of the day, as long as you're happy with yourself and you're not hurting anyone else by doing what you're doing, then, who cares what everyone else thinks. Especially, if they don't know you and are only judging you by that 3 seconds when you walk by or something.


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## BeneBaby (Jul 15, 2007)

Originally Posted by *kaylin_marie* /img/forum/go_quote.gif Let me tell you, YOU have features that I would KILL to have myself. But I'm the same way I often think things like "I wish I had her arms" lol cause mine are so bony, but I have grown to usually like the way I look. And it's always nice to get the "Where'd you get that....." comments hehe even though I usually say I just got it on the internet. Oooh Girl....keeping secrets! I always tell where I got things, the other person will rock it different than me anyways....I am starting to think I'm too nice....hmmm


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## MindySue (Jul 15, 2007)

aww thanks kaylin. you're too sweet.

everyone has features someone else wants, and what we hate other people love ..etc etc. beauty is interperated in so many different ways, and many different forms. i love that.

yeah manda, when people compliment me i make sure to say thank you and give a nice big smile. i am always happy when they say it too, cause im like yay! someone appreciates me!

you can never be too nice! just as long as you don't let people walk all over you.

which you're a smart gal, i know you wouldnt have any of that.


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## CellyCell (Jul 15, 2007)

Originally Posted by *BeneBaby* /img/forum/go_quote.gif Yeah...I think we all get those "Pretty Woman" moments.... I used to just skulk away and regret the compliment. Now I kill em' with kindess and keep complimenting so they go home feeling like a jerk for their rude behavior. Perhaps the best weapon we can use and one I use at times when the mood strikes.
But innerly.... "drag, drag, drag".


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## BeneBaby (Jul 15, 2007)

Hahaha....you are too crazy. I am sooo gonna do that.


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## StrangerNMist (Jul 15, 2007)

I would think that to an a certain extent we make up ourselves to compete, and I every human being on the face of this planet wants to be seen as beautiful by others. Also, in this world beauty equals having a certain sort of power over others - a certain sway - and who doesn't want to have that kind of influence over others?

On the other hand, I do agree with other people who posted when they say it's fun - its, no doubt about it. Who doesn't enjoy the transforming power that a shower and a little bit of lip gloss can have? =0]


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## Momo (Jul 15, 2007)

I just don't get jealous. I know, I'm a freak, but I don't. I didn't know jealousy and cattiness until high school and it took me years to realize that sharing my success and happiness with my friends and others meant people would talk behind my back all the time. I didn't think I was one of those girls who everyone disliked and you just _knew _she barely had friends because she was a *****, but maybe she really wasn't. Maybe she was like me, but I feel sorry for her, because she probably wasn't so oblivious.

Okay that was a little OT but I think I was lucky not to be corrupted by all that. I know what it's like to have my life coveted by crazy girls who will steal my boyfriend and dress like me, and what it's like to be judged before someone ever meets me, so I simply do not do that to other women. I won't call myself a "victim" it just happens and it makes me appreciate that I actually have something worth wanting in my life. I've known girls who, in their life, only knew negative criticism and heard almost every positive thing I said and took it as "Oh she's bragging, I need to find something to brag about every time I see her too, I also need to belittle her success" I think the girls who are most confident and self accepting, no matter how pretty or not pretty, will attract the most cattiness in the end (I was _not_ gorgeous girl but I did like myself!)

I definitely believe girls are in competition with each other sometimes and it makes me a little heavy at heart. Divided we fall, in the end.


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## AngelaGM (Jul 15, 2007)

I think a way back I wrote a question devoted to this very same topic. I have no idea as to where it is though. I love the whole aspect of pampering myself as well=)


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## SlowlyEyeFade (Jul 15, 2007)

There's some really good things you've said which i think are true!!

&lt;3

- Nina


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## Saje (Jul 15, 2007)

I dress up and keep appearance because it is what is expected of me and I love the attention I get.

If girls are jealous... thats too bad on their part. They can sulk and talk or they can watch, learn, and emulate.


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## SierraWren (Jul 15, 2007)

I don't dress up to "be the best looking woman there",I dress up(when I do) to be the best looking I can be. Ten years ago, when I was still single and used to go out to clubs,etc., I'd say I was different.Beauty can equal a kind of a power--the power to get what you want, in certain situations, of certain things/people--so I worked far harder at looking pretty then I now do, in order to attract men--blatant as that sounds.And I enjoyed it--putting makeup and nice clothes on with my friends, getting ready to go out,etc. But even then,I didn't dress to "outshine" other women, to overshadow anyone else. I have never been jealous about beauty(though I have been of other things,so I certainly do know the feeling!)maybe partially b/c my sister was a high fashion model for 4 years,and my very best friend was a model as well.Both are still shockingly beautiful, and early on I got used to ,literally, being overlooked or looked right through, b/c of them.It just never meant to me that, in the context of my own body and face, independently of them,I couldn't look really good too.

Maybe b/c of this viewpoint, I think there are a number of women out there who--almost comically--overestimate their own looks and their effect upon other women.I have met many girls/women no better looking than I am or even less so who have,with poorly disguised pride, "mournfully" told me,"Other women hate me, because of my looks, nothing I can do about it--they are just so inimidated by me, no matter how nice I always am!"Since true,sheer beauty- intimidation is a visceral,initially negative reaction of women only to TRULY beautiful women --I'm sure I had it, for instance, to Andi of MUT, lol, for instance,as to several women I have met/known in person--but these women bragging are nowhere near that pretty or striking, so it's weird.It occurs to me they must be very painfully insecure, and putting up an attitude of some sort of inherent superiority which DOES make some women dislike them,though not for the way that they look.No,it's for the way they just presume others will be made insecure by their appearance,their attitude--it is more something like that, imo. (I am thinking specifically of a student of mine, who is only 19 and is very likely just at an insecure stage and this is the way it is manifesting itself. But it is costing her potential female friendships, or rather, keeping her from making them. But I know she can change, and outgrow it.)

Finally, I've been having tedious health problems lately and I'm married(no, one does not connect to the other!)so often when I dress up, my husband is away all day and I do it just for me, to look as nice as I can personally look. When things like my health are outside of my control,it's nice to be able to control the outside surface,at least--plus, it does make me feel better,to be at some sort of personal best, even if the face in the mirror is the one that sees me the whole day. So on some level, sometimes we choose to look our very best to feel our very best about ourselves, even with no one to react to us, I think.


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## La_Mari (Jul 15, 2007)

I like this topic, I like getting things that make me look cute because then I feel special and not just boring... ya know. I always try to compliment women all the time, and only when I mean it. I work at a store and always compliment their eye makeup, or purse, or something. They are always really nice about it after.


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## Xexuxa (Jul 15, 2007)

Gosh this is a tough one for me. Maybe I have a warped perspective on beauty, but I honestly do think it goes further than skin deep. A beautiful girl that is well make-up, in nice clothes and make-up can be just awful haha. No fun being around hot people if they make you feel like crap.

However a girl that isn't skinny and almost tomboyish can be soo incredibly endearing if she is really fun, charming, and energetic. I would see someone like that as very attractive and wouldn't be suprised if guys swarmed her.

I admire people who always have something witty to say and have a unique outlook. Plastic surgery and products can give me a perfect nose and nice hair but they won't make me fun to be around haha. I also believe in different types of beauty. I can't compare two beautfiul women with completely different looks honestly.


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## xEdenx (Jul 15, 2007)

Originally Posted by *CellyCell* /img/forum/go_quote.gif Took the words right out of my mouth.
There's an enjoyment in getting ready, being pampered, or shopping for the 'right' clothes. I think that's my favorite process out of the whole thing.

When all that is said and done - I do at times do it to get noticed. I mean, what's the point in spending all that time and money and not getting any recognition for it?

"Hey, nice shoes" or "I love your eye makeup" - I do strive for those comments at times to feel better about myself. To raise my esteem. Not to become cocky or vain about it... just to reassure that if I take the time to take care of myself - others would notice. Good feelings.

I also do it to attract others. My outer appearance is the reflection of my inner. So I want them to see me for what I am since most people tend to judge a book by it's cover - if my personality doesn't come across first, that is.

Yah, I completely agree with this.


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## Savvy_lover (Jul 16, 2007)

i just go with my mood... when i feel dull i ll go out all dull and dont want any attention. but when i do feel like it , man i will make sure i shine like the sun~

and yes i Love ppl noticing i look good when i do work on it.

t doesnt matter why we do it as long as were happy with it .


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## kaylin_marie (Jul 16, 2007)

Originally Posted by *La_Mari* /img/forum/go_quote.gif I like this topic, I like getting things that make me look cute because then I feel special and not just boring... ya know. I always try to compliment women all the time, and only when I mean it. I work at a store and always compliment their eye makeup, or purse, or something. They are always really nice about it after. Yeah I love getting ready and wearing clothes/accessories/makeup that is unique and fits my personality, I feel like more than convering up my true self it makes me more *me* like really lets my personality show through. I love doing that. And I also try and compliment all my friends or just girls I know. And when I first meet another girl I like to always pick something out to say like "I really love your top" or whatever because a lot of times it's a great way to break the ice and get to know a girl, it helps get past that cattyness or "compatition" feeling that a lot of girls have when they first meet each other.
I know the spelling in this post had to be horrible....I'm drunk girls. Margaritas girls!!


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## SqueeKee (Jul 16, 2007)

Well, I put alot of thought into this one, because it's actually quite thought provoking.





I wear makeup and dress as nicely as I can for one and only one reason:

To look good.

Not "better" - just "good".

If I can go out into the world holding my head high and walking with confidence - that's all that matters.

How I feel about _myself_ is #1, not how I feel about others or how I compare to them!

Trying to be better than someone else would be a gross waste of my time and a huge stressant and I simply refuse to do that to myself!






Great thread btw


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## Savvy_lover (Jul 16, 2007)

Originally Posted by *SierraWren* /img/forum/go_quote.gif I don't dress up to "be the best looking woman there",I dress up(when I do) to be the best looking I can be. Ten years ago, when I was still single and used to go out to clubs,etc., I'd say I was different.Beauty can equal a kind of a power--the power to get what you want, in certain situations, of certain things/people--so I worked far harder at looking pretty then I now do, in order to attract men--blatant as that sounds.And I enjoyed it--putting makeup and nice clothes on with my friends, getting ready to go out,etc. But even then,I didn't dress to "outshine" other women, to overshadow anyone else. I have never been jealous about beauty(though I have been of other things,so I certainly do know the feeling!)maybe partially b/c my sister was a high fashion model for 4 years,and my very best friend was a model as well.Both are still shockingly beautiful, and early on I got used to ,literally, being overlooked or looked right through, b/c of them.It just never meant to me that, in the context of my own body and face, independently of them,I couldn't look really good too.Maybe b/c of this viewpoint, I think there are a number of women out there who--almost comically--overestimate their own looks and their effect upon other women.I have met many girls/women no better looking than I am or even less so who have,with poorly disguised pride, "mournfully" told me,"Other women hate me, because of my looks, nothing I can do about it--they are just so inimidated by me, no matter how nice I always am!"Since true,sheer beauty- intimidation is a visceral,initially negative reaction of women only to TRULY beautiful women --I'm sure I had it, for instance, to Andi of MUT, lol, for instance,as to several women I have met/known in person--but these women bragging are nowhere near that pretty or striking, so it's weird.It occurs to me they must be very painfully insecure, and putting up an attitude of some sort of inherent superiority which DOES make some women dislike them,though not for the way that they look.No,it's for the way they just presume others will be made insecure by their appearance,their attitude--it is more something like that, imo. (I am thinking specifically of a student of mine, who is only 19 and is very likely just at an insecure stage and this is the way it is manifesting itself. But it is costing her potential female friendships, or rather, keeping her from making them. But I know she can change, and outgrow it.)

Finally, I've been having tedious health problems lately and I'm married(no, one does not connect to the other!)so often when I dress up, my husband is away all day and I do it just for me, to look as nice as I can personally look. When things like my health are outside of my control,it's nice to be able to control the outside surface,at least--plus, it does make me feel better,to be at some sort of personal best, even if the face in the mirror is the one that sees me the whole day. So on some level, sometimes we choose to look our very best to feel our very best about ourselves, even with no one to react to us, I think.

u knwo what i did know some people who are ALWAYS saying how other gurls treat her badly becoz shes pretty. AH come on. not many gurls are like that ~ and if u always get that . check yourself for probs.


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## Momo (Jul 16, 2007)

I hope I didnt come across as one of those girls who always say women treat them badly because they are jealous or whatever? I meant to be more modest than that.


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## BeneBaby (Jul 16, 2007)

Originally Posted by *Savvy_lover* /img/forum/go_quote.gif u knwo what i did know some people who are ALWAYS saying how other gurls treat her badly becoz shes pretty. AH come on. not many gurls are like that ~ and if u always get that . check yourself for probs. Originally Posted by *Momo* /img/forum/go_quote.gif I hope I didnt come across as one of those girls who always say women treat them badly because they are jealous or whatever? I meant to be more modest than that. Just to clear things up..... I am in NO way saying I get treated a certain way by woman because I am soooo beautiful and they are jealous of me. That makes me laugh even writing it. I don't really know why I get treated that way? I am always friendly and kind to people. I actually think there are ALOT of girls out there who are immature and nasty, luckily not on MUT though. And that's why I like coming here. But one things for sure... I shouldn't have to "check myself for problems" if a girl disrepects me or is rude.

I guess I am sensitive because I do feel victimized sometimes. I wish I could be as tough as some other people....


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## SqueeKee (Jul 16, 2007)

Amanda, I totally don't get that vibe from you at all!

I know you said you got flack from people at the Elvira thing, but you _did _look amazing and some people are just very jealous and very petty. It doesn't mean you think crazy highly of yourself!

Sometimes, when some girls(like the ones who cussed at you at the contest) see someone that *they* feel looks better than themselves, they tend to be rude. It has nothing to do about what *you* think of yourself at all!!

I doubt any of your fellow MuTers would think so poorly of you either. We know you better than that!


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## BeneBaby (Jul 16, 2007)

Thanks Kee! I just wanted to make sure I wasn't coming off like that.


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## bella1342 (Jul 16, 2007)

I always tell where I got something when another woman compliments what I have on. I do find though, when I compliment other women on something... they never like to tell where they got it. i don't get that though, because I agree with you Amanda... it's going to look totally different on someone else, plus everyone's hair/makeup can totally make an outfit it's own.

I dress for myself (for the most part), but I do love compliments, who doesn't? I agree though. I would dress for a girl before I dressed for a guy. All guys have to say is "you look hot.." like mindy said. Girls actually really take notice to your shoes, shirt, hair.. whatever. I know I tend to notice a woman's shoes right away. I am just drawn to them. It's weird. I love shoes.

I love to give other women compliments though... maybe I'm just more mature... maybe it's because I feel good when I am nice to people. I just don't like when girls are catty, and I honestly can't understand why they are.

Oh and Amanda, your personality is awesome... don't ever change. i know you don't think other girls are jealous of you... but I tend to think catty girls are just jealous of other girls. Either that or they're just mean b--ches!


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## Savvy_lover (Jul 16, 2007)

Originally Posted by *Momo* /img/forum/go_quote.gif I hope I didnt come across as one of those girls who always say women treat them badly because they are jealous or whatever? I meant to be more modest than that. Originally Posted by *BeneBaby* /img/forum/go_quote.gif Just to clear things up..... I am in NO way saying I get treated a certain way by woman because I am soooo beautiful and they are jealous of me. That makes me laugh even writing it. I don't really know why I get treated that way? I am always friendly and kind to people. I actually think there are ALOT of girls out there who are immature and nasty, luckily not on MUT though. And that's why I like coming here. But one things for sure... I shouldn't have to "check myself for problems" if a girl disrepects me or is rude. 
I guess I am sensitive because I do feel victimized sometimes. I wish I could be as tough as some other people....

wow i hope i m not making anyone here thinking i was talking about them!

Originally Posted by *BeneBaby* /img/forum/go_quote.gif But one things for sure... I shouldn't have to "check myself for problems" if a girl disrepects me or is rude. and i said ALways got treated like that , not just one


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## SierraWren (Jul 16, 2007)

Originally Posted by *Savvy_lover* /img/forum/go_quote.gif u knwo what i did know some people who are ALWAYS saying how other gurls treat her badly becoz shes pretty. AH come on. not many gurls are like that ~ and if u always get that . check yourself for probs. Momo, Benebaby, and any other girls who might have felt that I was referring to them in my post in the part about girls who go around thinking all others are jealous of them, I was ABSOLUTELY NOT referring to you or to ANYONE here at MUT at all!!! There IS no one like that on MUT(at least, no one who stays long). Self-confidence and conceit are 2 very tangibly different things, and I appreciate/love seeing self-confidence in all women,so long as they do not need to tear other women apart to build themselves. Momo, from your posts and our few PM's I can tell you are one of the least self-obsessed and thoughtful young women I know, not vain in the least, and Benebaby, though we have never crossed paths, your spirit towards the other women here is nothing but deeply supportive, generous, and giving. My post was in direct,singular response to a teenager who visited me the other night with her sad story(one I've heard from her and several others before)that she is too beautiful for her own good and therefore has no friends her own age...



...That beauty is also the reason she can't work(bosses are either too lustful or envious of her.)And knowing that one is pretty,smart,talented--I think that is wonderful! It's just when I hear this girl start to pretend it's a huge obstacle in life,and actually make it into one, that is when I get frustrated.


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## BeneBaby (Jul 16, 2007)

Originally Posted by *Savvy_lover* /img/forum/go_quote.gif wow i hope i m not making anyone here thinking i was talking about them!


and i said ALways got treated like that , not just one





Actually Savvy....it isn't just one. It is ALL the time and I am still not checking myself for problems. I am far too busy to try to rationalize other peoples behavior and take blame for their insecurities.


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## magosienne (Jul 16, 2007)

people definitely favor a woman's appearance, but as far as i'm concerned, i dress for myself, and i apply makeup because i like it. of course, compliments or constructive criticism are welcomed. but i think women who judge others by their appearance for me are either people with taste who can appreciate someone's look with some objectivity or stupid/jealous/insecure women who would be well advised to do some introspection first (i don't mean to offend anyone, i'm just saying this is my opinion).

to be perfectly honest, i guess makeup is also a way for me of having (or let people think i have) more self confidence. especially when i have acne breakouts all over my face and need to cover them with foundation.

i also think people expect women to take care of the way they can be perceived by others.

anyway, in the end, i think a woman's (or man's) personnality always comes through her foundation and gucci bag.


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## Shelley (Jul 16, 2007)

Originally Posted by *Kee* /img/forum/go_quote.gif Well, I put alot of thought into this one, because it's actually quite thought provoking.




I wear makeup and dress as nicely as I can for one and only one reason:

To look good.

Not "better" - just "good".

If I can go out into the world holding my head high and walking with confidence - that's all that matters.

How I feel about _myself_ is #1, not how I feel about others or how I compare to them!

Trying to be better than someone else would be a gross waste of my time and a huge stressant and I simply refuse to do that to myself!






Great thread btw





I totally agree with you Kee. That is how I feel.


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## Savvy_lover (Jul 17, 2007)

Originally Posted by *BeneBaby* /img/forum/go_quote.gif Actually Savvy....it isn't just one. It is ALL the time and I am still not checking myself for problems. I am far too busy to try to rationalize other peoples behavior and take blame for their insecurities. oh u said a gurl in your post be4 i was just refering to that



and yes everyone has her own choice or not ~ i can suggest things and ppl can choose wt they believe





but dont be so sensitive



no one was pointing at any user here. i dun see our fellow mut members doing that


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