# Okay,i admit



## masad (Oct 10, 2007)

i am scared






getting married this dec!..and i have lived all my life aboard and my fiance is settled back home!! its totally different

its freaking me outttttttttttttttttttttttt!!

i love him and i want to be with him and i cant wait for the wedding!!

but the responsibility it brings.. :-s

he is my cousin, so its like within family ..and that makes it much more harder. Back home, its like joint family system we can separate, but believe it or not, i dont want to do it just now!!

the culture is so different, the thinking, way of living, people..everything..

damnnn!! i am soo scared!!

is marriage hard?!?!!

I know he loves me and when i am with him, i know i will be living a fairytale life



because he is financially and emotionally stable enough to make it a dream married life!! everyone is really nice in his house..i know them since ever.. but i know after marriage everything changes!!

i am just scared that maybe i wont be able to adjust!! :-s

i am scared that maybe i cant get along with my mother in law..

i am scared that i will suck at doing house chores!! :-s

its freaking me outttttttttt!!

helppp me you married people out there!!..

adviceeeeeeee me!!

plzzz


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## chloemisspretty (Oct 10, 2007)

Wait did u say he is your cousin are am I reading it wrong?


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## AngelaGM (Oct 10, 2007)

I hope you meant second cousin! My advice is simple make your marriage a top priority every day!


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## masad (Oct 10, 2007)

ya..second cousin!! (i guess thats the right term... he is the son of my uncle(my mother's bro) )

we can marry within family..be it first cousin or second!!

we can marry outside the family also!! doesnt matter!! as long as its according to religion!!

top priority? can you explain! i didnt get the meaning!! i mean to work more towards me and my husband or the house and other people in it?


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## chloemisspretty (Oct 10, 2007)

Thats your first cousin... Interesting


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## AngelaGM (Oct 10, 2007)

In the USA it is illegal to marry your first cousin. Making your marriage a priority means having good communication with each other,etc


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## masad (Oct 10, 2007)

iknow that communication is basic for every relationship to work!!

i know, b/w me and my husband..it will be great!!

but the other relations ..like inlaws. and then there is environment and cultural differences :-s

Originally Posted by *chloemisspretty* /img/forum/go_quote.gif Thats your first cousin... Interesting hehe..i didnt knew if its called first or second cousin!!
and i really didnt knew that it was illegal in USA to marry your first cousin!! what if someone falls in love with their first cousin? ?


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## AngelaGM (Oct 10, 2007)

LOL I guess they would go to your country and marry. I have been married for almost three years and believe me Marriage is Hard Work but so worth it=)


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## masad (Oct 10, 2007)

lol!

i totally agree with it worth being every ounce of hardwork!!

i guess its totally normal for me to freak out before the wedding!!

id you get cold feet?


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## AngelaGM (Oct 10, 2007)

Honestly I did not get cold feet. But I was still nervous.


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## pinksugar (Oct 10, 2007)

if you love him then that's all that matters. If you want it to work then it will, but you have to put effort in. It's natural to be nervous about it.

Best of luck chicken


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## Nox (Oct 10, 2007)

Before it was outlawed in the USA, marriage between first cousins happened quite frequently, from what I've been told.

Good blessings on your wedding day! I did not get cold feet, but I was nervous. I've been married for over two years. Angela is right, it is hard wark, but when it goes right it's very good and worth it!


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## empericalbeauty (Oct 10, 2007)

Hmphm. I have heard of kissing cousins..never marrying cousins. Well, I wish you God's Grace.

good ol' Gracie here aint married yet so she aint gonna give you no wrong advice. But I do wish you all the very best.


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## PaperFlowers (Oct 10, 2007)

Everything worth having takes work....best of luck to you!!!!!



It's natural to be nervous but I am wishing you the best.


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## BeneBaby (Oct 10, 2007)

Well Good Luck....I am sure it will be a big adjustment, but over time things should fall into place. Just build a strong foundation of communication between the two of you and as cliche as it sounds...."Never go to bed angry"


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## Sonia_K (Oct 10, 2007)

My hubby and I were brought up in different countries so I can kindof relate to your situation (except we were not related in any way



) but we did have to adjust to each others lifestyles, he had to adjust more than I did, since he was the one who had to leave his county.

And like everybody said, marriage is hard work and communication is key. There are many road blocks that come in the way, but if your determined to make it work, it will.

If you haven't already, I would definitely talk about your personal morals, values and beliefs with your fiance and get to know his views on those things too, that way you can avoid any major personality clashes.

As far as getting along with other people in his family, it's about being respectful and courteous to others and demanding that same kind of respect back. Sometimes it takes time for people to open up and start trusting you but once they do you can build a lasting relationship.

Good Luck with everything.


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## pinkbundles (Oct 10, 2007)

All I have to say is that marriage is hard work. You can't just go in there expecting everything will be perfect. And just b/c he is financially and emotionally stable, it doesn't mean it's going to be a dream married life. You will still have your ups and downs and even wonder if you married the right person. But you have to have faith in your marriage and do the best you can to make it work and keep it that way.

It's also going to take time to adjust living together and things will come out (bad habits for example) that you were never aware of until after. And the fact you will be living with his family will make it that much more challenging. In which case, you have to learn to co-operate with people, be courteous, learn to compromise and just do whatever you can to keep peace and harmony.

As for marrying your first cousin...I thought that was illegal in most countries. Personally, I wouldn't marry anyone in my family but if that's who you fell in love with, then I hope you made the right choice and it's what your heart tells you is the right thing to do for yourself.

Sorry, I didn't mean to sound harsh in any way if I came across that way. I wish you the best of luck. So relax and look forward to your BIG day!


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## kisska3000 (Oct 10, 2007)

what i heard is that the first year of marriage is the hardest one i dont' know how true is that because i am still in my first year of marriage and i tell you its hard. sometimes i feel like we are totally diffrent people or maybe we just are. you have to make it your work. your husband should come first. well about the in laws i got really lucky. my mother in law just loves me and so does my father in law i don't really have a problem there. so good luck to you in marriage.


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## farris2 (Oct 11, 2007)

I have been married for a year just a few days ago,I have to say that it has been wonderful.We have dated 2 of the 3 years.I had never been married before and I was 41 when we married,you are 22 right? Its ok to be nervous,but if you have any second thoughts,you should talk to someone.Good luck hun


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## masad (Oct 11, 2007)

yes..i am 22

and guess what =)) this is soo funny!!! but i feel soooooooo good about it!!

my husband is 1 year younger to me..so he is basically 21 only!!

poor guy..i say to him always that you arer eally young, you should not be getting married and he always says.. you are the right person for me and i dont want to wait!!

well..its unusal in our culture that the guy is younger than women!! but i swear he is the best!!

as long as communicating with him is concerned!! i did talk to him about difference of culture and values and than our habits!! :-s environment and stuff!!

he has been very supportive .. he said to me that he is nervous also but when he thinks about us being together!! he knows, we can make it work!!

even i believe i can make it work!! it needs hardwork..every relationship needs work!!

but then i keep getting cold feet!!

thanks all for your support!!

Benebaby!! i agree with you on that one..i heard it from soo many people!! and he is soo damn sexxy!! i would NOT want to miss a night






pinkbundles; you were not harsh.. i know you all are trying to help me out!! and i posted this thread here because i knew i would get honest advice!!

farris 2; we have never dated!! actually he loved me since he was 12  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" /> and he kept proposing me for 8 years =)) but i didnt say yes!! coz i always told him that he is younger than me and its just silly!!

last year though, when i went back home for my sis wedding, damn...he swept me off my feet with his thoughts and values(we had been great friends,i just didnt love him the way he did) ..n plus..he looked soo damn sexxy and handsome



i couldnot resist

we had a blast and then our parents announced our engagement!! so it was like love + arrange marriage!!

his parents love me.. they wanted me to say yes to him ages ago!! they have always talked to my parents about me but my parents thought it was like a joke because of age difference!!  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

sorry..long post!! but i love him and i know he loves me..i m just really nervous!!! i keep getting bumpy our little things!! i just hope i can adjust in that place!!


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## bronze_chiqz (Oct 11, 2007)

Hi Masad, im really happy for you.Its normal to marry 2nd cousin, lucky you.U would still feel like you're among in the family.My sister got married to my dad's 2nd cousin, and they're happily ever after touchwood.I dont have anyone left lolz, now seeking outsiderz hehe!

Where r u going to live aftre ur marriage?France?


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## masad (Oct 11, 2007)

i dunt live in france!!

i randomly chose this!!  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" /> and didnt bother to change it!!

i live in Middle East.. and i belong to the valley of Kashmir(disputed area b/w Pakistan and India)

i will be living back home!!


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## bronze_chiqz (Oct 13, 2007)

ah okie


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## goddess_sham (Dec 6, 2007)

wow masad... ur marriage is just around the crbner isnt it? do post sum picz ya! n all the best in married life!


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