# Do you ever wonder if you'll ever find someone?



## ClassicGirl (Mar 23, 2006)

i do every day.

i thought my ex was the "one" ... we were living together and had talked about marriage, but one day i just got fed up and left.

he was doing a lot of stuff that was not legal nor ethical (like stealing from his work) and just expected me to hand over my paychecks so he could put it back in ... and yea....

so i'm living with my parents now and i just don't think i'll ever find someone ... i tend to pick guys that are totally bad for me.

i guess i'm not getting any younger .... the other day my sister asked me if i had met anyone yet. i feel like i'm being pressured to get back into a relationship and get married and stuff, and honestly i don't think that'll ever happen. blah.


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## eightthirty (Mar 24, 2006)

I feel that way, too! Hang in there! It will happen, but just make sure you don't SETTLE!!


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## Amethyst (Mar 24, 2006)

Exactly!! When I was married to my first husband, I was miserable and wondered if it was better to be alone or married miserably and not alone.

It is much better to be alone (_as in_ *"not in a relationship*") than to be coupled just for the sake of being coupled with someone who you can't trust or makes you miserable all the time or does shady stuff. Seriously, there's no peace of mind in that.

Don't settle !!!

When you're not looking is when things happen.  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />


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## SqueeKee (Mar 24, 2006)

Amethyst, you are So brilliant! I love how you are always for real and you always make sense  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

I agree with you 100% on this  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />


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## Marisol (Mar 24, 2006)

I feel that way too. But I gotta keep hope that one day my prince Charming will arrive and then my life will be complete. Don't let people pressure you into just being with someone for the sake of not being alone. Enjoy the single life now and when you aren;t looking, you will find that one person that completes you.


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## Amethyst (Mar 24, 2006)

why thank you! That made my day!  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />


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## Amethyst (Mar 24, 2006)

I agree Mari..

Besides the grass always seems greener on the other side.

People who are single wanna be married. People who are married wanna be single. Its a circle that will make people :wacko:

the main thing is you will know deep down inside and get that gut feeling when the person is right for you.

The second time around - I just knew...I had feelings for husband #2 that I didn't have for husband #1. ("love" for one thing - LOL)

(I don't sound like Elizabeth Taylor now do I ? ) :wassatt:


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## Elisabeth (Mar 24, 2006)

No. I be Elizabeth Taylor. Ha Ha!!!:icon_twis:icon_twis.

People dog her for marrying all those times but I say, hey,

at least she never gave up on love...

Never give up on love.


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## girl_geek (Mar 25, 2006)

Sometimes you just have to quit looking and love will come when you least expect it! Granted, I met my husband at 22 so I wasn't to that age where people started asking me why I was still single... but in college I already felt like an "old maid" because so many people in my Christian school got engaged or even married before they graduated (the joke was that people went to that school to get their "MRS" degree)! I thought that if I couldn't find a good Christian man when I was surrounded by 1,000 of them at school, how would I ever find one after graduation?! Finally, though, during my senior year I just accepted the fact that I was single and started enjoying life with my girlfriends (especially the one gf who was also single, we could relate! lol). As I prepared to start graduate school, I was fully expecting to stay single all through grad school -- after all, how could I find time to meet a guy with all that studying?! So I thought I'd get my degree, get a job, and hopefully find a husband *someday*, but until then I was going to enjoy being single! ..... But wouldn't you know it, during my summer internship right before I started grad school, my boss set me up with her son, and well, we were engaged four months later :icon_redf: If you are meant to be married, you will find your husband at just the right time! I am so glad I didn't meet my husband earlier when I was feeling desparate for a relationship -- this way, I knew I was marrying him because I loved him and not because I just wanted to be married!  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

I know it's easier said than done, but I think you need to be happy with yourself first. (Kind of like what Amethyst said.) If you are happy with yourself then you won't feel like you need a man to "fulfill" you -- so if you do find a guy, it will just be "overflow" and extra blessing and you'll know if it is right!  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

And if it makes you feel better, I have a cousin who is 35 and still single, and still looking for a husband! She also *almost* got married but they broke up when they could not agree on whether or not to have kids..... I guess you can compromise on how many kids to have but not on _if_ you have them!


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## MACGoddess (Mar 25, 2006)

EXCELLENTLY put Amethyst! :clap:clap:clap

Do NOT settle hunnie, just relax, and take some time for yourself. Treat yourself, find out what YOU want in another person, and don't let others tell you what you want or what you should do!

It is YOUR life, YOU get to pick who is good enough for you...and yes, they HAVE to be good enough for YOU not you for them!


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## SierraWren (Mar 25, 2006)

Of course you can find love out there...it's just a matter of time and a sort of unknowable timing. At 36 my sister had (ridiculously)given up on ever finding anyone to love, then, over Christmas, she met someone who she is now in love with and engaged to. Things can change so fast in this life--in an eyeblink!--a year or two from now you may well be living with someone again and wishing for a little more "space", or private time...Since you have that time now, try and use it to your advantage, and really inhabit yourself--your desires,hobbies,hopes--work on fulfilling them all. Get a start on it, anyway,I mean. Imo, if you can do that, you'll be that much happier and more solid of a person,and that much more likely to attract the sort of man you want in your life--a deep, true love, the kind you deeply and truly deserve.


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## cottoncandy (Mar 25, 2006)

as others said, dont get into a relationship just to be in one. make sure you know exactly what you want from a guy, what will make you happy. and take this time being single to get to know yourself a bit, and be happy with yourself. you dont NEED anyone else to be happy, but its nice to have company. so let that company find you, dont force anything and in the meantime, learn to be happy as you are now.


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## LVA (Apr 4, 2006)

i feel like i spent my whole life looking for "my prince charming" and although i'm still young ... i truly feel like i found him ...

... it was hard because growing up .. i wasn't allowed to date ... wear makeup ... or go to party .... my parents were strict ....


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## FeistyFemme (Apr 26, 2006)

I feel like that often.

I was in a relationship for 6 years up until 10 months ago, and even though I'm young, I wonder often when I'll find someone else. Granted I KNOW I'm not ready for it right now, but it doesn't stop me from thinking about it.


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## hazel (Jun 1, 2006)

how do you forget about some one even thought they hurted you .

i keep thinking hes gonna come back and treat me right .

tried finding some one else and that doesnt work

love sometimes just sucks


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## chocobon (Jun 1, 2006)

I've always believed that there is a "one" and when he shows up u r gonna know deep in ur gut that he's the one,so hang in there  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />


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## SierraWren (Jun 1, 2006)

If I may ask, how long has it been since your breakup with the person who hurt you, who you can't get over? If it is only a short time, no matter how much that person hurt you, no matter how much you wish you could stop caring for them, if you have not yet been able to molve on then you will contnue to miss them. Time really is a big part, a first step, to your question--of how long until you will heal, recover from them.

And you will! I recovered from someone who devastated me but who I kept loving anyway--until, with friends, with reflection, with people who helped me encourage growth in myself, until I had a confidence I'd never,ever had before--I did "get over" him.But I think the element of time,as part of healing, cannot be stressed enough...and you must love yourself unconditionally too, and be patient with yourself as well. Given such time,you CAN most certainly find someone else, someone who treats you with the kindness and tenderness and the respect you will realize you deserve. :inlove:


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## Brownshugaz (Jun 1, 2006)

I'm young (19) but I feel like I'm running out of time. I've always wanted to get married young and I'm afraid that I'm never going to meet my husband or even worse, I've already met him and lost him. That said, I'm still focusing on enjoying my single life and even thoug I get lonely I know that I have to completely fall in love with myself and enjoy my own compay first before I even think of being with someone else.


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## SierraWren (Jun 1, 2006)

Very beautifully, very wisely said!!!


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## karrieann (Jun 2, 2006)

:icon_eek::icon_eek::icon_eek:

Holy crap! I am 37. WTF!? Direct me to the nearest cliff please.

What's the rush? Really. Like you said, enjoy yourself, being single and so young.


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## Brownshugaz (Jun 2, 2006)

lol. I'm a romantic at heart. I'm like Jennifer Lopez in the Wedding Planner. I've been fantasizing about being married since I was a child. I hate dating and I long for the day when I can devote myself completley to one man for the rest of my life. Kind of heavy huh? LOL.


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## Kimberleylotr (Jul 12, 2006)

i have suomone i just dont know if hes the "one" i mean what if he is and i havent had enuff experince to know it. ya know.


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## Andi (Jul 12, 2006)

i didnÂ´t think about this at all...I was planning on getting married sometime around age 30, if it all. I was even convinced I never want to have kids. I went through a very feminist phase for years. after my first long relationship ended cause I felt like I was growing as a person and he wasnÂ´t, I only had short relationships and flings. I was content with that, had my heart broken too and was just enjoying being single. I was a bit of a commitment phobic

well thatÂ´s when I met my bf and I slowly realized that heÂ´s the one. I didnÂ´t want to admit it at first, heck I didnÂ´t even want a relationship because I was afraid of getting hurt again. so yeah the cheesy old line "when you meet the right person youÂ´ll know it" is true. I hate to admit it LOL.

and the cheesy line #2 "YouÂ´ll meet Mr Right when you least expect it" was true for me too.

I guess I fell in love with my Mr. Right under very unusal circumstances but it happened and I know that heÂ´s the one cause IÂ´ve changed so much to the better since I met him and he never gave me reason to doubt his feelings. IÂ´ve opened up so much with him and he did the same, I never met a guy who could show so much emotion and still be a real man. to strangers he might sound too good to be true, but I finally managed to accept that there ARE good guys out there and mine is one of them.


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## adrianavanessa (Sep 14, 2007)

I thought the same thing. I used to tell everyone, I'm gonna be the one who is 30 living with her little chihuahua in her apartment. When I stopped looking, that's when my bf popped up!


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