# Support and prayers



## pla4u (Jan 5, 2007)

Hello my friends, As well as dealing with the loss of Mon In law and Aunt, I have let my wife know of "Paula". She is not real happy about my other self and I understand that. I am in the process of finding a counceler to help me with Paula and hope to come to peace with her. I do think my marrage will survive , I do love my wife so much and want to grow old and retire with her. Time will tell. I will try to keep you informed...

Thanks


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## speerrituall1 (Jan 5, 2007)

:hugss: Paula, we are here for you.


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## Teresamachado (Jan 5, 2007)

Yes Paula we are here for you


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## pinkbundles (Jan 5, 2007)

I'm sorry to hear that. It must've taken a lot of courage to do what you did. I believe in love and I believe that any two people who love eachother can survive any trials and tribulations that come their way. Good luck and keep us posted.


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## redrocks (Jan 5, 2007)

I wish you all the best and hope you can work things out with your wife. We are here for you if you need us.

&lt;Hugs&gt;


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## lovelyarsenic (Jan 5, 2007)

I wish you the best in dealing with this part of your life, and I will definitely keep you in my thoughts. It must have taken a lot of strength and courage on your behalf to share this with your wife, and it must have taken just as much strength and courage for your wife as well. I agree alot with what Hersh had to say though about love and what it can do for people when they have just that. We all care about you so much, and hope things turn out happily. Take care, and keep us posted!!


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## Dragonfly (Jan 5, 2007)

I noticed you haven't posted as much recently.

I have missed your wit and sensitivity.

I hope things go well and everything will work out.


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## mossaenda (Jan 5, 2007)

:huggies:


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## bluebird26 (Jan 5, 2007)

*hugs*


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## emily_3383 (Jan 5, 2007)

that must be tough for everyone involved, i hope everything works out.


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## WhitneyF (Jan 5, 2007)

It must have been so difficult for you to admit and for her to hear. I will keep thinking about your both and wish y'all the best. Good luck and we are here for you. :hug:


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## Aquilah (Jan 5, 2007)

We're definitely all here for you Paula! I agree with Hersh that a strong marriage should be able to survive most trials and tribulations! I'll be sure to say a prayer for you! Best of luck sweetie! :hug:


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## pla4u (Jan 5, 2007)

Thanks guys, I need all the prayers I can get , I have an apointment with a councler next tuesday at 6pm its a start .....


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## Aquilah (Jan 6, 2007)

I'm just curious Paula, and I meant to ask earlier. If you truly enjoy what you do, and you have no guilt/remorse for it, why are you going to see a counselor? I'm just curious and don't mean to sound anything but that  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />


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## emily_3383 (Jan 6, 2007)

im assuming its marriage counseling?


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## pla4u (Jan 6, 2007)

Its to see why I crossdress in the firstplace and to help me undeerstand what it is all about...I have been a CDer since pre teen, gave it up when I was married , but in the past few years it has resurfaced, yes I do rather enjoy Paula, But We have a need to understand and my wife is not comfortabul with a CDing hubby at the moment, more than that I do not really know till I see the councler....


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## Aquilah (Jan 6, 2007)

Okay, that makes sense! I was just curious. I didn't know if you were trying to go to stop CDing, or something else. I wish you the best with everything! We're always here whenever you need to talk! :hug:


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## pla4u (Jan 6, 2007)

Thank You! It does mean a lot to me to know you all care

:hug:


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## Chaela (Jan 6, 2007)

Good luck, I hope everything works out in the end :smile:


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## MissMissy (Jan 6, 2007)

I do wish you the best. I say it must be hard for you and your wife. But really im sure we have no idea, just how hard it was for you to come out with paula....

What ever happends I will always have a helping hand for you. You can always come here and spill, when the going gets tough. You'll be in my prayers tonight... Good luck sweetie:eusa_pray:

P.s. Love is unbreakable. I know been together 4 years and deffently been threw some shit:heart:


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## daer0n (Jan 6, 2007)

I am really truly sorry to hear that Paula, i am pretty sure your marriage WILL survive, because of the way that you say how much you love your wife i am sure she loves you just as much, it might be that she feels confused at the moment, but i am sure she will understand and stay with you, love doesn't die from one day to another, and you seem to me like a very sweet loving and sensitive person, she is lucky to have you.

I wish you the best, send you all the blessings and i will keep you in my prayers, even though i know you little you have my support as well *HUGS


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## AngelaGM (Jan 6, 2007)

I always assumed your wife knew about it... I will be thinking about you both


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## Kathy (Jan 6, 2007)

Wow, Paula! What courage that must have taken on your part! I hope it all works out! Even if you end up not CDing anymore you can still come on and chat and hang out with us. We'll be here if you need to talk. :1f: :hug:


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## pla4u (Jan 6, 2007)

Thank you all for your support and prayers :hug:

I am very gratfull to all you guys even if "Paula" goes to the wayside I will try to be here for you all just as you all are here for me :1f:


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## jessimau (Jan 7, 2007)

Paula, that took so much courage and strenght to do, I can't imagine how hard it must've been. I'll keep you in my thoughts and I hope that you and your wife get through this together. Hopefully you can both come to understand and accept your situation. I hope your wife can also appreciate that it is just another side of you and doesn't necessarily imply anything deviant. *HUGS*

:hug: :huggies:


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## pla4u (Jan 8, 2007)

Thanks sweetie, I'm kinda nervice about talking to somone face to face about my CDing...in a way I am rather looking forward to it..


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## KristieTX (Jan 9, 2007)

Paula, you will be in my thoughts, you know that you can always come on here and get hugs and support from us.  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />


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## dentaldee (Jan 9, 2007)

well we still love ya ............I'm sure she does too!!

sending special thoughts your way:hug:


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## pla4u (Jan 9, 2007)

Thanks guys..

Some days I really need a lot of hugs...

Its good to know I have you all for support...


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## jessimau (Jan 9, 2007)

Of course! We're always here for you, Paula. Let us know how it goes with the counselor. It'll be good for you to gain insight and hopefully find acceptance (not just from the counselor, who should accept you without question &amp; not judge) but also from your wife. I'm rooting for you and your marriage from across the country! :heart: :luv:


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## pla4u (Jan 9, 2007)

my big day at the counclers....i'm a bit nervious

Thanks to all of you...your suport means a lot to me...


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## Sonia_K (Jan 9, 2007)

You will be in my thoughts. I just know you and your wife will get through this. It's really brave of you to tell your wife about your cross dessing but in the long run, this was the right thing to do for your relationship.

Good luck with the councler and let us know how it goes.


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## AnnaBelle (Jan 9, 2007)

Paula, I'm sending you big hugs and prayers!!

Good luck with the counselor today.

I'm sure that your marriage will survive, because I can tell you really love your wife, and if you love each other, you can get through anything. *HUGS*


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## jessimau (Jan 10, 2007)

Paula, how did it go with the counselor? I'm sure you have a lot going on in your head, but I was wondering how the initial session went. You're in my thoughts!


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## pla4u (Jan 10, 2007)

I think it went well, she was easy to talk to, she says it is quite common, everyone has a mascalin/feminin side i have a lot of focous on my fem side, need to explore my options, wants a session with both my wife and I to get some background and work more from there...

Thank you so much for your concern  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

I really do need to know I have friends thinking of me :hug:


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## Aquilah (Jan 10, 2007)

Well, I'm glad you're at ease with this counselor! I hope everything goes well, and everythin gets "straightened" out. No pun intended, but I didn't know what else to put! Cause to me, it's not something that needs to be "fixed!" I'll shut up now LOL!


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## jessimau (Jan 10, 2007)

I'm glad your counselor was understanding. There definitely is a continuum within us all. I hope things continue to go well. *HUG*


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## mossaenda (Jan 10, 2007)

That's a fantastic beginning Pau! may this journey be a success.


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## AnnaBelle (Jan 11, 2007)

I'm glad the appointment with the counselor went well. When I had to see one over some grief issues I liked the fact that I felt like I could tell her anything. It's a great start!

Still thinkin' about you honey!! *hugs*


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## pla4u (Jan 11, 2007)

Thanks so much girls...I really need your thoughts and prays ...keep them comming ....you guys reall are helping me and I am really gratfull for your friendship and any advice you may have..

:hug:


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## Jesskaa (Jan 14, 2007)

Aw! Paula, Your in my prayers! i hope everything goes well.


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## pla4u (Jan 14, 2007)

Thanks Jess :hug:

all you girls are just great!


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## pla4u (Jan 16, 2007)

My wife says she still loves me , but has some issues and at the moment wants some space, ....i'm now sleeping in the spair room, we are still talking, but I am rather depressed...


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## Dragonfly (Jan 16, 2007)

Hey there. Don't get depressed about your situation. Your wife just needs time to absorb everything. Just follow her lead and let her call the shots until she has adjusted. In no time, the two of you will be cuddling in the same bed again.

If I can offer a piece of advice, be true to yourself and let her get to know Paula a little bit at a time. And make sure you have your own things cause she might tolerate Paula, but not Paula borrowing her things.

Wishing you and your wife the best.


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## pla4u (Jan 16, 2007)

Thank you for the words of encoragement....I will be staying out of her things...I do have my own...


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## tadzio79 (Jan 16, 2007)

Paula, I'm glad that the session with the couselor went well.

As for your wife, I wouldn't worry too much about it, I'd assume that finding out about "Paula" was a shock to her, and it would take some time for her to get used to.

Be patient hon, and although it might not seem like much of a progress, take it one day at a time. Keep us updated! :huggies:


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## pla4u (Jan 16, 2007)

thank you all for your support, I really need to hear your encoraging thoughts at this time..

well today we are both going,,,I will let you know how it goes...

:hug:


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## lynnda (Jan 16, 2007)

Good luck today Paula! I hope it goes well for you and your wife.


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## Kathy (Jan 16, 2007)

Hope all goes well today Paula. Give your wife some time. I know it would be a shock for me if I was in her shoes. By going to the counselor with you it at the very least shows she's willing to work on your relationship and that's a GOOD thing. I'm thinking of both of you.


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## mossaenda (Jan 16, 2007)

I think it's a good sign that your wife has asked for time, she is "digesting" the situation so give her time and be very patience. The fact she's willing to go to counseling with you is very encouraging, this is going to take time...i'll guess the road will have its ups and downs but stay positive.


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## Shelley (Jan 16, 2007)

Hi Paula,

I agree with the others, it is definitely a good sign she wants to go to counseling with you. It may take time for her to absorb all of this and it sounds like she loves you dearly but she just needs a bit of time to sort through this. *Hugs* Were here for you!


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## tadzio79 (Jan 16, 2007)

We love you Paula!!! Hope everything goes well at the counseling session today!


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## pla4u (Jan 19, 2007)

You guys are great, I thank you all for your prayes and concerns, keep them comming please...


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## han (Jan 19, 2007)

wow i dont know how i miss this thread sorry paula, i hope everything goes well with the counseling and we are all here for you "hug's" to you

you are very brave to come clean and be honest with your wife.. good luck to you


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## Little_Lisa (Jan 19, 2007)

Paula, i'm so sorry that I didn't see this thread and reply sooner.

I'm glad your wife is going to counseling with you. As others have said, i'm sure it's just going to take some time for her as i'm sure it was a shock. I wish you both the best!

*HUGS*


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## pla4u (Jan 19, 2007)

Thanks girls, I have my moments, I call the yo yo effect I'm kinda at the bottom of my string right now...


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## PaperFlowers (Jan 20, 2007)

Best of luck to you. *hugs*


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## PT-BC99 (Jan 20, 2007)

Support and prayers coming your way Paula. I hope your counselling session went well the other day. :hugss:


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## Guenevere (Jan 20, 2007)

I love my friends and they could never do any wrong, if I found one was a CDing I would be extremely supportive but if it was my husband I would be pretty distraught that I had been with someone and didn't know about a secret of this type. It's not an easy thing to tell someone you love and I'm so proud of you for being so strong!!!! It's a hard situation but I truly believe that if you love each other your marriage will endure! You have all my prayers!!!!


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## Aprill (Jan 20, 2007)

good luck


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## pla4u (Jan 21, 2007)

All your kind words are great to hear,

Thank you all soooo much...:1f:


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## Kookie-for-COCO (Feb 4, 2007)

You and your family are seriously in my prayers. My marraige at times has been crazy. We survived. We are all different--awww life is so hard. Praying for you.


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## AngelaGM (Feb 4, 2007)

It is wonderful that your wife is going to go with you and I am sure you both have what it takes to keep your marriage strong.


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## pla4u (Feb 7, 2007)

Thank you so very much for all your support girls...it really does help to know you all are thinking of me .. :hug:


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## AngelaGM (Feb 7, 2007)

Of course we support you. You are Family


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## PaperFlowers (Feb 7, 2007)

Still keeping you in my thoughts.  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />


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## pla4u (Feb 10, 2007)

I am so glad I have friends like you all, It does brighten my day to get such positive responses  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" /> thanks :hug:


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## xEdenx (Feb 22, 2007)

Your almost there...no need to quit now!

good luck. godbless.


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## Marie Duval (Mar 27, 2007)

Hi Paula - as a member of the "club" I can tell you that most of the theories about why we dress are just that - theories. Most importantly, try to reassure your wife that you love her -- telling her was hard and a huge risk. Trust is the first step.

Big huggs.


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