# Boyfriend Trouble...



## Manda (May 11, 2007)

I have been going out with my boyfriend for 2 years and have not had any problems until now. We had a pretty fun weekend and things have been going good, we rarely get into arguments and when we do things get patched up pretty quick.

Monday he came over after work like always (we just hang out and watch TV during the week since I have school and work all day and he works all day (for the same company as my dad doing telecommunications work-kind of construction type job). Before he left to go home he started getting all weird with me saying he doesn't know who I talk to at school (I talk to girls, no guys) and just being really insecure about our relationship. He went outside and didn't want to close our house gate, so I went out there to close the gate and he was still there, waiting for me. He starts going on and on about guys talking to me and hitting on me and he doesn't like how a friend of my parents htis on me (the guy is like 30 and knew me since I was 12, Im 22 now so of course hes going to say stuff) and I told him I can't control what other people say to me, its not like a edge the guy on or anything. So after like 15 mins of going back and forth he gets over it and goes home.

Tuesday he was fine, came over and just fell asleep until he left to go home. Wednesday he was going to come over but decided to take a nap and he slept through his alarm clock. My friend, who is with his brother and lives at their house, calls me and I told her to just go turn it off, so she does then calls me later telling me that hes still asleep but he needs to move his car and what she should do. I told her just to wake him up.

Last night he came over, we went and got food (I paid) and went back to my house. For some reason we started talking about bathtubs and I was reminding him about our tub that is a jacuzzi tub and that I havn't been in there for ages. Then he asks me who the last person was that was in it with me, jokingly I said my sister (you know, when your litle you take baths with your siblings lol, nothing recent) and he took it as though I actually meant a guy! He started getting all mad and calling me a liar and just being rude to me. I started getting mad and even though it was no one I told him that wasn't an appropriate question, that it shouldn't matter what I did with someone else and if I did tell him that it was someone else he would just get all mad anyway. A little later we were watching TV and he wanted to (I'll use the G-rated Jackie from That 70's Show way of saying it) "prove our love to one another." I told him that I don't feel like it because he was being mean to me and calling me liar. He got all mad saying I must be getting it from someone else (huh???), and pretty much trying to make me feel guilty for not wanting to and just talking crap to me again. he leaves and then keeps calling me getting mad and just annoying me and frustrating me. After almost an hour he says hes over it and hes going to go to bed. Then, this morning I get up and see a couple of texts that he sent last night at almost midnight saying he's horny and wants phone sex!

I've been trying to find out whats bugging him because this is just odd behavior. The texts are like whatever, but he knows Im sleeping at that time. I don't know if hes just stressed out from working hard, exhausted or what. We do have a pretty healthy sex-life so I don't know what his problem is. In one of my women's studies classes we had a presentation on domestic violence and they explained the control wheel, and I told him he's starting to act as if an abuser would (he's not really at abusive level, I just want him to think about what hes saying and how I'm taking it). I just don't really know what to say to him right now and its all just really making me question his attitude and behavior. I will appreciate any advice and what someone else thinks is going on. Sorry its so long!

Oh and other things to note- anger problems do run in his family, his dad will get mad about the stupidest things. They're never physical, just a lot of yelling and threatening (I'll break up with you if you do this or in his dads version- I'll kick you out of the house blah blah).


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## Ashley (May 11, 2007)

I'm sorry, Manda. I don't know what would account for his change in behavior. Perhaps he is stressed or depressed and is m aking out his feelings on you. You should definitely sit down with him and talk to him about it. Ask him why he is suddenly questioning you so much.

I hope everything works out for you!


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## jewele (May 11, 2007)

Maybe something strange is in the air, my BF just started acting weird too!! Everything was (I thought) fine and just all of a sudden he is mad and things aren't like they used to be. I'm thinking maybe he is depressed. I guess we just have to talk to them and if they are going through a rough patch they need to know we will be here for them. I hope everything works out for you guys!!!


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## Aprill (May 11, 2007)

I think that it is one of two things:

1) He did something he has no business and and is trying to find a way to validate it. And they do that by throwing out little innuendo's of cheating and such.

2) He has heard something about you and dosen't know how to come out and ask you


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## BeneBaby (May 11, 2007)

Hmmm. That sucks! I agree with Aprill, either he has a guilty conscience or he heard or saw something that makes him insecure.

Try asking him straight out about his behavoir in a non-confrontational way. Like " Honey, you seem a little edgy lately, whats up?" Maybe reiterate to him how much you care for him and let him know he's the only one.


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## Geek (May 11, 2007)

why would he think your sister was another guy?


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## natalierb (May 11, 2007)

I agree with the others, maybe he has a guilty conscience and is taking it out on you. Also, can you think of any possible thing that would have made him start reacting this way? You definitely need to talk to him and ask him why he's acting like this towards you. Is he insecure about himself?

From what you wrote, you guys had a great weekend together. If his odd mood swing is out of character, then something is definitely up.


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## IslandGirl725 (May 11, 2007)

Like I said on another thread... I gave up trying to figure guys out looooong ago!!!





Deb


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## Andi (May 11, 2007)

Hm I have no clue what might be going on with him, it could literally be anything. I agree with Amanda though, just straight forwardly ask him if heÂ´s having any problems lately and if you can help him somehow.

I hope things get better, Manda!!!


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## Manda (May 11, 2007)

Thanks for all your kind words, I will def. keep all that in mind





LOl Tony, who knows? You guys come up with some weird stuff sometimes!


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## farris2 (May 11, 2007)

Hi Manda....

I don't know you but I have been in your situation before,and I have to tell you,that when a man acts like that,accusing you of cheating etc,then he is actually the guilty one.I see it all the time as I work with women of all ages 21 and up and it's always the same. I'm sorry you are going through this,but I would turn the tables on his ass and see what he says.


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## Dragonfly (May 11, 2007)

IMO these ladies are hitting the nail on the head.

Sometimes when someone has cheated, they become very guilty.

In order to compensate for the guilt, they accuse their partner of being unfaithful.

If he hasn't cheated, he is definately up to something.


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## Manda (May 11, 2007)

Yeah, thats what I was thinking last night too. He has been cheated on in the past, so I understand his insecurities, but this week it's just been too much! Plus I have never done anything that would make him not trust me. I'm going to talk to him and see what's going on and why he's wigging out.


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## Dragonfly (May 12, 2007)

Talking with him is the best thing you can do. Hope everything works out ok.


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## sweetnsexy6953 (May 12, 2007)

I think hes been doing something behind your back. Just to be completely honest. He did something behind your back and hes afraid that your going to find out which scares him so thats why hes acting so weird and treating you the way hes treating you. You need to keep a close eye on him. You know you did nothing wrong so dont worry about you. Normally when he a guy all of sudden behaves differently they did something and dont knw how to tell you or arent sure if they want to tell you. Ask him what his prob is and if he answers casually then maybe hes done nothing. If you ask him and he gets defensive off the bat then you know right then and there that hes done something. Guys can be really shady so watch out.


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## farris2 (May 12, 2007)

After 2 years he should know that he can trust you.I hate it when guys act like that.


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## Saje (May 12, 2007)

All the girls said what I wanted to say.

Just wanted to say that I hope he didnt do anything stupid for your sake.


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## pinksugar (May 12, 2007)

Hope everything works out.. let us know what happens! I swear, it must be the full moon or something, guys are just acting like jerks in general at the moment!


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## empericalbeauty (May 12, 2007)

Honestly, you answered your own question without knowing it.

You said he is under a lot of stress, and that could be taking a toll on him mentally. I think what your bf needs to do is take a whole day off work, get him self back together, REST and relax. with your help off course. right now he is really vulnerable and he needs some re-assurance that he isnt going crazy and for some reason picking a fight is what suits him best. However, if he continues his jealous rants then maybe you should ease it off with him for a day or two so you dont get pushed to the edge.


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## Manda (May 12, 2007)

UPDATE: We talked yesterday and everything is good. He was just feeling insecure about our relationship and wanted to me to pretty much say that everything is fine and that I still love him. I told him that when he behaves like that I feel disrespected and that I don't like it and it does make me question him. He apologized and after coming home from a friends he spent the night and got to sleep in and hes been fine all day. Thanks again everyone, I'm so glad I can come here when I have problems and get everyone elses point of views.


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## chantelle8686 (May 13, 2007)

hun i was gonna say the same thing as the others had suggested, next time he acts out like that go directly to him, its better to find out then to let it go!!!!

Umm also im so glad u guys talked!!! and if he acts like that again, just tell him im not talking to u till u can talk to me properly!!! i also have the same trouble with anger with my partner, but i ignore him and tell him the same thing, he then apologizes then we talk!!!


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## farris2 (May 13, 2007)

good I'm glad for you


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