# About Money -rant



## mahreez (Dec 23, 2007)

the thing is i hate the fact that i couldn't discuss money matters with my bf without him getting upset or mad at me. it's not that i'm being too uptight with money, it's just that we're just starting with our business and i wanna make sure i'm aware where all the money is going and that it's not being wasted or anything.

and the last time i asked him about where he spent his money he wouldn't talk to me and we got into a really huge fight...he almost hit me.

sigh, so how do you discuss money matters with your SO, without sounding like his accountant or something. thanks.


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## pinksugar (Dec 23, 2007)

I think there is always at least one issue that upsets both parties in any relationship. I'm very grateful that my bf and I don't argue about money. We respect each other's money decisions, but we don't have the responsibility of a business hanging over us






I don't know what to suggest, since as I said, there will always be one 'don't touch' issue in a relationship in my experience. I guess you both need to sit down when neither of you is mad and discuss what is ok to buy, and what is not (for both of you) and then trust him to stick to those rules and not say anything until you have evidence he's been buying things that are 'against the rules' type thing


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## Anthea (Dec 23, 2007)

Money comes into all relationships these days. If you are in a buisness together you need to be able to discuss the finances, there is nothing wrong with you or him knowing where the buisness money is being spent. If he is thretening or starting to get violent this is a no no. Rosie is right and its probably best to sit down and chat about it when both of you are calm. Sorry not much help. Best wishes


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## S. Lisa Smith (Dec 23, 2007)

Originally Posted by *mahreez* /img/forum/go_quote.gif the thing is i hate the fact that i couldn't discuss money matters with my bf without him getting upset or mad at me. it's not that i'm being too uptight with money, it's just that we're just starting with our business and i wanna make sure i'm aware where all the money is going and that it's not being wasted or anything. I'm a little confused. Are you asking about the business' money or his money? If you are a partner in a business, you have the right to know what's going on.
and the last time i asked him about where he spent his money he wouldn't talk to me His money is his business and unless you are married, it's not your business and we got into a really huge fight...he almost hit me. That's not good on so many levels. Hitting or almost hitting is very bad.

sigh, so how do you discuss money matters with your SO, without sounding like his accountant or something. You have to get your business on a business footing so that the owners (you and your BF) of the business can discuss what the business is doing. Talking about money is just a part of doing business. Talking to him about his finances is not your business unless he asks your opinion or you are living together and sharing expences. thanks.

Hope this helps.


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## Ricci (Dec 23, 2007)

May I add "almost hitting" is future potential abuse?


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## Aprill (Dec 23, 2007)

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't get offended by some of the things that I am going to tell you. You guys are not married and he has no right to your money and you have no right to his. There is no laws and no courts for people that lay up together and dont get married. Unless he walks out with your property or vise versa.

If he is attempting to put his hands on you, even attempted to, you need to move on before he does. Be safe and be careful.


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## PRETTYSECRETS21 (Dec 23, 2007)

I couldnt agree more Ricci. The fact the he got so upset that he _almost_ hit you is insane. I think that should concern you more than issues with money.

I dont know if you live with him but if you do, money will be a major issue and come up alot. the almost could turn into a sure thing.


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## glitter_vertigo (Dec 23, 2007)

Originally Posted by *Aprill* /img/forum/go_quote.gif PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't get offended by some of the things that I am going to tell you. You guys are not married and he has no right to your money and you have no right to his. There is no laws and no courts for people that lay up together and dont get married. Unless he walks out with your property or vise versa. 
If he is attempting to put his hands on you, even attempted to, you need to move on before he does. Be safe and be careful.

I agree with April. Also... him almost hitting you over money is a huge warning sign. You're starting a business together and you WILL need to discuss money without things getting physical. Please be careful.


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## mariascreek (Dec 23, 2007)

if you have a business together you are trying to make money and you have to know where that money is. it's a sticky situation, like everyone is saying though the fact that he got so upset that he almost hit you is crazy.


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## farris2 (Dec 24, 2007)

I have to agree all the way.That is not a good situation to be in.


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## puncturedskirt (Dec 24, 2007)

Yeah. I agree with Rosie but i also agree with Ricci and Aprill.


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## mahreez (Dec 24, 2007)

hi thanks guys actually, it's just my business...and the money that he's using (the one i'm asking how he spent) is from me. and so i think i have the right to know how he's gonna spent it.

oh well, thanks guys i finally managed to talk to him after a few days and he said he's not used to discussing money matters and he felt that i was accusing him or something. i told him that it's not really to embarass him or something but since he's not working and the money comes from me, then it's a pretty tight situation right now and so we better budget our expenses.

thanks for your support. i do hope the almost hitting part wouldn't push thru abuse in the future.


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## Ricci (Dec 25, 2007)

Well all I gotta say is... we did warn you

Originally Posted by *mahreez* /img/forum/go_quote.gif hi thanks guys actually, it's just my business...and the money that he's using (the one i'm asking how he spent) is from me. and so i think i have the right to know how he's gonna spent it. 
oh well, thanks guys i finally managed to talk to him after a few days and he said he's not used to discussing money matters and he felt that i was accusing him or something. i told him that it's not really to embarass him or something but since he's not working and the money comes from me, then it's a pretty tight situation right now and so we better budget our expenses.

thanks for your support. i do hope the almost hitting part wouldn't push thru abuse in the future.


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## justdragmedown (Dec 27, 2007)

My boyfriends like that too. I try to help him out with his money problems, but he just doesnt want to hear it.


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## reesesilverstar (Dec 27, 2007)

I agree with everybody.

You only have claims to the business' money. Unless he's interfering with it, no worries man. But about the ALMOST HIT part. HELLS no!!!

We'd be business partners. Nothing more. That IS a sign, and I advise you pull out. Not an order, just an opinion and a suggestion.


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## fawp (Dec 27, 2007)

Originally Posted by *pinksugar* /img/forum/go_quote.gif I think there is always at least one issue that upsets both parties in any relationship. I completely agree. Some people just have problems discussing certain topics and feel threatened or accused whenever someone brings them up. Maybe you find a neutral partner to go through. Perhaps a professional accountant that keeps all your joint information and can provide information and advice to both of you individually and together. It would be an added expense but if it helps your business and/or relationship, it would be worth it.


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## Kookie-for-COCO (Dec 28, 2007)

Money is always a problem--look at DOnald Trump and Ivana and they had millions!!! But the almost hitting thing---Red Flag Baby.


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## reesesilverstar (Dec 28, 2007)

Yup yup yup!!!

NO HITTING, ABOSLUTELY NOT!!!


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## AngelaGM (Dec 28, 2007)

Please be careful! Almost physical abuse is no excuse!


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## Shelley (Dec 28, 2007)

I agree with the others in regards to the almost hitting. That is definitely a red flag. I'm not trying to scare you but the next time he may actually hit you. I've been in a violent relationship and would hate to see you go through this.


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