# Boyfriend wants to be a masseur!!



## smallpuppy (Jan 12, 2006)

Ok My boyfriend of a year and a half wants to be a masseur. I knew about it when I met him but I never really paid too much attention to it b/c I thought that he would change his mind and do what he really loves doing which his messing with stereos and cars. But last week he went and got the application for the massage therapy school!!!The thought of him being a masseur makes me very uncomfortable because he will be massaging women!!! THat's way to much temptation!!! THe oil, massaging not only backs but legs!!! I'm dying!! I told him how I felt about it but he keeps telling me to trust him. We have talked about our future and I have 2 years left in college and he plans on marrying me once he completes his massage school and I finish school. Now I don't want to marry somebody and then find out that I've been wasting my time when I fing out (If I do) that he's having affairs with his clients. Can I get some advice please???


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## litlbitprincess (Jan 12, 2006)

Awwww hugs... Has he ever given reason for you not to trust him before? I think if he loves you and you are making plans for a future then he must want to be with you. I know it is scary and yes there is a lot of rubbing etc.. It is however a job sweetie and if he wants to cheat on you he will find away and it probably won't be at work. I know it is hard but he is either a cheater or he isn't. Trust him and tell him how you feel again and how much he means to you. Then try and believe him as you don't want him to think you don't trust him. You are beautiful and I am sure a great person or he wouldn't be with you.


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## suzukigrrl (Jan 12, 2006)

all the women he will massage will be ugly! Seriously, if I were to see my ass the first time I meet them, I'm sure they would be repulsed by the cellulite and zits and stuff. That and I think it would be unethical for him to flirt with a female massage customer. I would be creeped out if a male masseur tried to flirt with me!


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## Little_Lisa (Jan 12, 2006)

I've been massaged by many different male therapists and none of them ever made me uncomfortable because of the way it's done which is very professional. I can understand how you feel and not liking the idea of him rubbing on strange women but it's done in a professional manner and nothing is exposed that shouldn't be if that makes you feel any better.


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## Mitsuko (Jan 13, 2006)

well my father is a masseur and i never heard anything about non-professional stuff. its a job, really professionnal. its not like hes going to be a masseur for porn star movies or anything. dont worry sweetie


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## eightthirty (Jan 13, 2006)

My cold-hearted, but honest as hell advice is that if you knew about it when you met him, you should'nt have relied on the fact that you hoped he would change his mind. If it's not in you to trust him then there may be underlying issues you need to work on first. In which case his occupation would be the smaller issue in comparison to your hopes of marriage. I'm not trying to be brutal, but I've skipped around my life and relationships hearing the "comfort-me" advice and it doesn't benefit anyone.


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## Little_Lisa (Jan 13, 2006)

Well said and I agree.


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## KittySkyfish (Jan 13, 2006)

Smallpuppy, it's the character of the person and not the job that is going to be the reason why an affair occurs. I'm sorry you feel this way but maybe you're going to have to look deep within yourself to understand the roots of your (jealosy? insecurity? lack of trust in other people?) and to find a way to make peace with your feelings.

Would he be safer in the auto shop when a beautiful, single woman drives in with a hot sports car and gives your boyfriend the eye? Or if the shop hires a cute, girl-next-door type to work the counter and your boyfriend gets to spend the day bumping into her?

It's understandable to have niggling worries, but don't let them get the better of you and you start presuming the worst when it probably won't even happen.  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />


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## jennycateyez (Jan 13, 2006)

i think you sould trust him. if thats his dream job i dont think you sould make him give it up.you sould have no worries at all:icon_chee


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## xXxBeckyxXx (Jan 13, 2006)

i wouldnt worry sweetie, when i massaged men i wouldnt blink an eyelid i was jus concentrating on the routine and making sure i had the right pressure. he wouldnt even be able to have an affair because chances are he would be fully booKed as soon as a massage is done he has 2 move straight on to the next client. i studied with loads of girls and most of them wouldnt have been comfortable being massaged by a man and would of asked for a women, and if a man tried it on they would of said something straight away.


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## Elisabeth (Jan 13, 2006)

Well said. I agree, disagree and will probably just confuse you if I go on but....

The minute I heard the word "massage therapist" I would have run for the hills. Actually, that's a lie. My ex bf could have said "I'm an axe murderer." and I would have said "oh, well..maybe something at Walmart will open up..but in the meantime..that's ok." So I know how love can be sometimes, um not only blind but deaf and dumb as well.

I have known only a couple of male massage therapists: one was screwing every one of his female clients ( including trying to screw me once) and the other was honest as heck, had a great wife and 2 kids. So who knows??

I have to trust my bf now..he is an eye doc and sees (get it?) all kinds of people...and some of them have to be beautiful girls..he also has secretaries..so..??

So I agree with Melissa, Lisa, Lina and Kerry.:icon_cool

Hugs anyway,


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## Eva121 (Jan 13, 2006)

I agree with everyone here, cheaters don't need an excuse like being a massage therapist, they will cheat, no matter what their job is!

I do understand you though, I wouldn't be totally comfortable with it as well, maybe you should get a professional massage by a male therapist, that way you'll know what it's like. (let's hope it's not one of the sleazy ones then  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" /> )

Unless he has done anything to betray your trust in the past, I'd give him the benefit of the doubt, just let him know it will take you a while to get used to the whole thing.


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## cottoncandy (Jan 13, 2006)

i agree with this. there is no point getting yourself worried about potenial bad things that could happen. why dont you think of what good things could happen instead? your bf would be happy because he has his dream job, ud get married and you wouldnt have to worry about finances, etc. i understand that you are uncomfortable with him touching other women, but he will not be touching them in a sexual way, and there is no need to entertain the thought of him cheating just because you feel uncomfortable with the physical aspect of his job.


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## Amethyst (Jan 13, 2006)

I agree with what Elisabeth posted.

That being said, when he starts going to school to learn massage, maybe some instructor will stress the fact that if anyone ever does decide to mess around with a client, it could very well be with the wrong person and he could find himself in a major sexual harrassment lawsuit. Sometimes people get baited for lawsuits too, you know what I mean?


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## smallpuppy (Jan 13, 2006)

Well he's never given me reasons not to trust him. He's actually pretty trustworthy. He's not the flirty type. You are right..I do feel like this because I'm jealous and insecure. In the past all the guys I've been with have cheated on me and made me belive they would never hurt me ( I had to learn the hard way) but I now I should let go of the past but it's so hard.


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## tashbash (Jan 13, 2006)

My brother is going to school to be a massage therapist. He will graduate in May. It is a great job. He is a great guy too. Anyway, I think you should just forget about the jealousy and trust him. Like everybody else said, if he is gonna cheat on you, he is gonna cheat on you no matter what. But I wouldn't stand in the way of his future by disagreeing with him when he says that is what he wants to do. If he chooses to do something else so that you won't be upset with him, he will resent you for it. I know you don't want that. So be strong, talk with him about it, and hopefully you will find strength. Good luck.


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## smallpuppy (Jan 13, 2006)

yeah your right I guess I need to stop being so negative and start looking at the positive side of it. (although it's soooo HARD :icon_eek: )


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## litlbitprincess (Jan 13, 2006)

Not just that...you are beautiful and he loves you! Why would he want to ruin that!


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## BeneBaby (Jan 14, 2006)

Do be honest, every girl I know requests female massuese's anyway. I think I'd feel weird too.


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## SqueeKee (Jan 14, 2006)

Wouldn't that be the biggest disappointment for a guy who DOES go into that field just to meet girls? You start work and all your customers are MEN!

HA! Priceless.


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## smallpuppy (Jan 14, 2006)

aww!! :icon_redf Thank you!!


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## cottoncandy (Jan 14, 2006)

i know its hard sweetie, but you dont want your past to dictate your future. those other guys might have been asholes, but if your current bf hasnt, then he desreves a chance, and a fresh page without you judging him based on other peoples actions. just keep in mind that he is a different person, so you dont need to fear the old.


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## bluebird26 (Jan 14, 2006)

Well you are the only one who knows what's in his heart and what his principles are.  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" /> Trust him a little bit and I say, don't ignore your 'sixth sense' ehehe.  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />


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## Thumbelina (Jan 14, 2006)

If he's probably always wanted to do it, it's most likely just something he wants to do for it's own sake. I'm sure it has nothing to do with massaging women. Besides. I'm sure he'll have his hands on just as many men!!!:clap

I agree. Do you have any reason not to trust him? If you say you're getting married, then you probably trust him a great deal. My fiance and I have had trust issues and I refused to get engaged until we worked through them. It was the best decision I'd ever made.


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## bunni (Jan 14, 2006)

Have you been watching too much Sex and the City? :icon_smil sorry, that wasn't funny.

I think he sees it as a job, just like any other job, he will have to massage men too, so do not worry!!! Isn't there a rule about being professional, otherwise your job is in jeopardy i think. If he really wants to be one I'd let him (free massages for me, hell yess!!!). :icon_chee But do go with your intuition.


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## Killah22 (Jan 16, 2006)

Yeah, I agree with everyone else, if he's going to cheat, he's going to cheat regardless if he's a message therapist or not. You should just be there for him and support his dream. Let go of all those negative thoughts in your head and think on the brighter side with positive, happy thoughts. He's with you because he loves you, so trust him and support his dream because he's supporting yours....right ???


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## Becka (Jan 16, 2006)

He was straight up w/ you in the beginning about wanting to be a masseur, so I think it'd be a bit tough to say to him now that you disagree w/ his choice. Its a good job, one that can well support a family. And, I agree w/ everyone else, if he's going to cheat, doesn't matter what/where he is, he'll do it anyway.


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## Elisabeth (Jan 16, 2006)

Smallpuppy,

BTW the massage therapist I had that was uh...you know whating everybody..eventually lost his license..and livelihood!!..over this issue..the fact is, at least in Calif., it is a highly regulated business with little tolerance for hanky panky. I also agree with everybody else that if a man wants to find a woman, they are everywhere.....it is by no means job connected.

LOL I also knew a guy who wanted to go into massage, but quit after he found out that the majority of his clients would be geriatric males!!! Not that he wanted to mac on women...it's just that when reality stepped in..


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## smallpuppy (Jan 16, 2006)

It's good to know its a high regulated business in Cali because that is where he wants to go once he finishes school! Thanks for all the advice girls! Now I feel much better! :icon_love


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## tann (Jan 16, 2006)

I used to massage. It's excellent money. I had all men clients. I don't want to rub my hands all over women, personally. You want him to massage men?

I think you should trust me. He would've seen so many legs, it won't even faze him after awhile. Just think of the money. Also, get some techniques from him, so when he comes home, you can massage him!!! :icon_redf


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## AnitaNa (Jan 17, 2006)

i know how u feel and i dont blame you..but, the way i think of it is...if a man wants to cheat,let him cheat. KARMAS A B****! :icon_twis loll ok..neway i doubt your guy has intentions of cheating. whod pay all that $ to go to school to cheat? im sure this is sumthing hes wanted to do and has had it on his mind for a while...he wants to do it for himself. support him ...wouldnt u want his support if it was you?


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## Pauline (Jan 30, 2006)

Try not to worry sweetie. Your man is only doing something that interests him and just think of the benefits! He can practise his massage technicques on you!


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## atomicopera (Feb 13, 2006)

I left my ex boyfriend, years ago, because he wanted to be a masseur....i know how uncomfortable it is, even just him laying his eyes on another woman, since i was thinking of marriage also...It's not something you have to put up with and if it's uncomfortable, and if he doesnt agree that his hands only belong on YOUR body i would give him up....for me it wasnt just the thought of anything sexual going on it was just him touching another woman and i was going to be married to him....a relationship should be based on trust and honesty, if either of those are questionable i would question the relationship? I found out my ex married a girl he met while giving a massage......cute girl, great body.....i know what would have happened and we would have broken up if i had stayed with him anyway....i know exactly what you're going through and i hope your boyfriend cares enough to work with you.


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