# Divorce



## erica_1020 (Jun 8, 2006)

How expensive is it? Has anyone here been through it and can give advice? I'm not sure if that's the route I will go, but my husband and I haven't talked in 2 days and I'm really bummed and will not let him call all the shots.


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## VenusGoddess (Jun 8, 2006)

Well, if it's an uncontested divorce, it will surely cost a lot less than a contested divorce (where you fight it out in court and the judge makes the decision how/what to divide).

The best way to decide the costs is calling a few dozen divorce attorneys and inquiring about their fees.


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## eightthirty (Jun 8, 2006)

Uncontested usually runs $500-700. Counseling is alot less!!

Contested is basically like hiring an attorney by the hour plus a few other fees.


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## VenusGoddess (Jun 8, 2006)

Originally Posted by *eightthirty* Uncontested usually runs $500-700. Counseling is alot less!! Depends on where you live. In LA and Chicago, it's more than that. In smaller towns, it's usually a little less. And, counseling is not necessarily cheaper (some run $100 an hour)...but if you want to work on building a better relationship, it's definitely better than slapping someone with a Divorce Decree!!


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## erica_1020 (Jun 8, 2006)

I just don't know what to do, and I don't want to talk to my sisters or others close, because what if things work out and then they always think about what I have told them . He hasn't done anything really bad, but has made mean comments and stated he would walk out if yada yada...


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## VenusGoddess (Jun 8, 2006)

You may want to try couples/marriage counseling first. Then, if it's still not working out, do a separation and then divorce.


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## erica_1020 (Jun 8, 2006)

Originally Posted by *VenusGoddess* You may want to try couples/marriage counseling first. Then, if it's still not working out, do a separation and then divorce. Thanks I will look into it, if I can get him to talk to me and stop being a jerk


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## eightthirty (Jun 8, 2006)

I know you probably don't want to go into too much detail in the posts, but if you need someone to talk to feel free to PM me.


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## Anyah_Green (Jun 8, 2006)

Best ofluck! I hope you can find a way that works for you. You'll be in my thoughts!


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## AprilRayne (Jun 8, 2006)

I have been through a divorce and I hired a paralegal to do it for me. It was $200. I know how scary this decision is for you. We were seperated for two years before our divorce so it felt like we were divorced already. The divorce wasn't bad, but it got pretty ugly afterward. I know it's a hard decision to make especially when it seems like there's not a valid reason, like abuse or cheating, but what is most important is your happiness. My ex was extremely abusive to me so I knew I had to leave, but there are a lot of reasons to end a marriage. I am remarried to the most amazing guy I have ever met and I wouldn't have met him if I hadn't had the courage to leave. Honey, I have been through it all!! Please PM me if you need advice or just want to talk.


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## pinkbundles (Jun 8, 2006)

I'm sorry to hear you are having problems. But have you thought it out? I just think that since you haven't talked for a couple of days that your line of communication has been cut off and you don't know what he's thinking or feeling and vice versa. Make him talk to you!

But to answer your question, a co-worker of mine just went through a divorce and it cost $1500 CAD just for that piece of paper (and it was uncontested). I guess it depends on where you live and who your lawyer is!


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## Aquilah (Jun 8, 2006)

Erica, I'm sorry you're having troubles sweetie! I'm not too sure what's going on, but I agree w/ Hersh about trying to talk first. I'm sure you don't want to get in depth as Mel mentioned, so I can only wish you the very best no matter what you decide to do or what happens. We're here for you sweetie!


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## erica_1020 (Jun 8, 2006)

Thanks you all for the advice and being here to listen to me ramble. I have settled down some and will make him talk to me after gym and dinner.


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## eightthirty (Jun 8, 2006)

Originally Posted by *erica_1020* Thanks you all for the advice and being here to listen to me ramble. I have settled down some and will make him talk to me after gym and dinner. We all have those moments, hun! I might suggest a book called _The Five Love Languages_ by Gary Chapman and _SuperMarriage: Overcoming the Predictable Crises of Married Life_ by Harvey Ruben. They're both good books, which I ran across unfortunately a tad too late. I think _The Five Love Languages_ is a must read for every married couple. It really helps with breaking down occassional and reoccuring communication barriers.


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## Aquilah (Jun 8, 2006)

My sister recently suggested a book to me, although I can't remember the exact name, it's called something like "What lies at the altar. The Truth Behind Great Marriages." She said it's really good; it helps to keep a great marriage great, and how to salvage a marriage that's falling apart... I'll ask her again who wrote it and what it's called... The author was on Oprah at some point... Best of luck w/ talking to him sweetie! I know how much of a pain men can be to get to open up!


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## PopModePrincess (Jun 8, 2006)

Hi Erica,

I don't have any advice about divorce, but I just wanted to say I hope you two can work things out.


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## AngelaMH (Jun 9, 2006)

I'm not sure how much it costs for a divorce but here in NC where I am you have to file for legal separation and then wait a year and a day before can file for an actual divorce. I'm going through the legal separation part of it right now which is pretty easy once can decide on who gets what.


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## Aquilah (Jun 9, 2006)

Originally Posted by *AngelaMH* I'm not sure how much it costs for a divorce but here in NC where I am you have to file for legal separation and then wait a year and a day before can file for an actual divorce. I'm going through the legal separation part of it right now which is pretty easy once can decide on who gets what.



Sounds like what they do in SC. Except I don't know if you have to file for separation or just file the divorce. All I know is they make you wait a year and you HAVE to go through marriage counseling at the time. Then, if after the year you still want a divorce, you can proceed... That would irritate me personally! Best of luck to you Angela!


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## erica_1020 (Jun 9, 2006)

Thanks you all for your support. FYI we did talk last night and are MUCH better, there was some miscommunication and we cleared that up and apologized (but meaningful). I will not ignore your advice about the books and counseling though.


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## Marisol (Jun 10, 2006)

Originally Posted by *erica_1020* Thanks you all for your support. FYI we did talk last night and are MUCH better, there was some miscommunication and we cleared that up and apologized (but meaningful). I will not ignore your advice about the books and counseling though. Glad that things worked out.


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## jennycateyez (Jun 10, 2006)

im glad things worked out for you!


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