# I HATE my brother



## NYchic (Jan 30, 2009)

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## Ozee (Jan 31, 2009)

thats really sad to hear you say that, its also very sad to hear your brother behaves that way.


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## Ricci (Jan 31, 2009)

I hate my brother too, he used to be the exact same but he used to call my mom names and tell her to F* off so sad..

now he's rich and loves to shower my mom with presents but not my children


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## Dragonfly (Jan 31, 2009)

My brother is dead to me. He lives in another province so I'm sure I will never see him again.

We fought like cats and dogs growing up, and we could barely be civil with one another at dinner, car rides, etc.

I think there are some sibling relationships and rivalries that are quite unhealthy. The more I am away from him, the better I like him.


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## Darla (Jan 31, 2009)

I think it is somewhat normal that there are a lot of conflicts between siblings. That was the case too with my brother and sister. I fought a lot with my younger sister who essentially became a clone of my mom. All my mom's opinions were now my sisters.

So she was the one who got catered to and even later on this was the case.

In other families or cultures it seems like the males get all the attention and privilege.

Let me see if i can guess, you are the older sister and he is the youngest. Your parents are doing him no favor. His behavior is going to haunt him.


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## Joan_CD (Jan 31, 2009)

My mother and her brothers and sisters fought like dogs all the times. I have 2 sisters and a brother and amazingly, it did not wear off onto us. I guess we decided not to do that to one another. I am so sorry to hear how your siblings are acting. My father and I did not always get along and he did not talk to me for a great deal of my teenage years. After my son was born, he changed and we made peace with one another. I was glad that happened, as I held his hand when he passed away from cancer. I pray that you find peace in your lives.


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## LivingDeadGirl (Jan 31, 2009)

*I think that is very common. Everyone that I know and my brother knows find it so weird that we are so close. Even our co-workers (we both work at the same store) find it odd and say they wish they got along with their siblings like we do. He's almost like a best friend to me but sometimes he tends to act like an overprotective older brother (although he is 4 years younger than me ha ha).*


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## Darla (Jan 31, 2009)

Originally Posted by *Joan_CD* /img/forum/go_quote.gif My mother and her brothers and sisters fought like dogs all the times. I have 2 sisters and a brother and amazingly, it did not wear off onto us. I guess we decided not to do that to one another. I am so sorry to hear how your siblings are acting. My father and I did not always get along and he did not talk to me for a great deal of my teenage years. After my son was born, he changed and we made peace with one another. I was glad that happened, as I held his hand when he passed away from cancer. I pray that you find peace in your lives. that was a real nice thing to say!


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## NYchic (Jan 31, 2009)

Originally Posted by *Darla* /img/forum/go_quote.gif Let me see if i can guess, you are the older sister and he is the youngest. Your parents are doing him no favor. His behavior is going to haunt him.

You are correct. I am the oldest. I have 2 brothers but he isn't the youngest, he is the middle. I love my youngest brother who BTW gets bothered by this one also.
I just hate him and I don't think I will ever grow to like him. I cant wait until I move out. When I do that I will have NO contact of any sort or anything to do with him.


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## Ricci (Jan 31, 2009)

Im the oldest of my brother too


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## bella1342 (Jan 31, 2009)

I'm sorry that your brother treats you and your mom that way. It sounds to me like he's very immature still.

Hate is a very strong word though. I used to say it a lot as a kid, but now that I've grown up.. I never say it. People I strongly dislike, I can't even say I hate them really. That's just me though.


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## chandrika (Jan 31, 2009)

There are all kinds of reasons why people can be horrible. Not much consolation if someone is being horrible to you, ie.your brother, but people go through stuff, especially at that age, 17 years is notorious for some people to be extremely horrible, because it is difficult, life and relationships are difficult and everyone reacts differently to stresses.

You have said yourself that you hate him, he probably feels that and his reaction is to hate you back, call you names, if he is under heavy critisism that is how some people react, to defend themselves, they will attack you and it just snowballs. Whose to say where it all started, but as the older sibling, you might try to remember that this is the same cute little boy who was your brother when he was 3 years old. He is hurting for some reason and your hating him will make him hurt more and get more and more defensive.

So you may want him out your life forever right now, but he may need you and one day you may even need him and so just in case, my advice to you, would be to try to be the bigger person, try to take his attacks without reaction and maybe even try to do random acts of kindness to him and just see whether you can make a difference to his behaviour.

For example next time he calls you a slut, try to ignore the anger you feel at such a hurtful comment and instead, just walk away and try and think of something you could do to make his life easier, some small gift or something, it will shock him, as he will be expecting the normal reaction, but if you shock him with a new one, you may find you break a cycle and things change and you get your cute little brother back.


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## Adrienne (Jan 31, 2009)

Originally Posted by *NYchic* /img/forum/go_quote.gif You are correct. I am the oldest. I have 2 brothers but he isn't the youngest, he is the middle. I love my youngest brother who BTW gets bothered by this one also.
I just hate him and I don't think I will ever grow to like him. I cant wait until I move out. When I do that I will have NO contact of any sort or anything to do with him.

Sounds like my situation. While I feel it's sad that you feel this way, maybe it's best that you don't hang around him at all and just ignore him. Are you two by any chance really close in age?

I have two younger siblings and we all were born really close. Me, my brother came along when I was 10 months old, and then my youngest brother when I was 2 1/2. But, even my parents tell me now that me and my next sibling have always rivaled since even when he was born. Me and my youngest brother get along the best but the good thing is that my dad keeps him in check. Growing up he was always taking my things without my permission, annoying the heck outta me for no reason, always trying to be right (you dont know how many "Nuh uhs" i've heard) and even now he does the same thing! And he's gonna be 21 this year, doesn't care to work and the only reason he does is bc my mom makes him since they work together, plays xbox live all day long bc he can't go anywhere since he's tore up all 5 cars he's ever owned, just a loser.

If my brother even dares call me a slut, both my husband and dad will make sure he never forgets to never call me one again.

BUT, when I moved out, tons of the tension was released. It's still there but now it's under control bc I don't have to see, hear, talk to him everyday. He'll call me out of nowhere to see what I'm doing and he gets along great with my son. My suggestion is not to move out but believe me, it will get better. Sometimes, unfortunately, that's just family. I still love my brother to death but just bc I love him, it doesn't mean I hang out with him or feel the need to have a closer relationship with him.


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## S. Lisa Smith (Jan 31, 2009)

Originally Posted by *chandrika* /img/forum/go_quote.gif There are all kinds of reasons why people can be horrible. Not much consolation if someone is being horrible to you, ie.your brother, but people go through stuff, especially at that age, 17 years is notorious for some people to be extremely horrible, because it is difficult, life and relationships are difficult and everyone reacts differently to stresses.
You have said yourself that you hate him, he probably feels that and his reaction is to hate you back, call you names, if he is under heavy critisism that is how some people react, to defend themselves, they will attack you and it just snowballs. Whose to say where it all started, but as the older sibling, you might try to remember that this is the same cute little boy who was your brother when he was 3 years old. He is hurting for some reason and your hating him will make him hurt more and get more and more defensive. I think you make a good point.

So you may want him out your life forever right now, but he may need you and one day you may even need him and so just in case, my advice to you, would be to try to be the bigger person, try to take his attacks without reaction and maybe even try to do random acts of kindness to him and just see whether you can make a difference to his behaviour.

For example next time he calls you a slut, try to ignore the anger you feel at such a hurtful comment and instead, just walk away and try and think of something you could do to make his life easier, some small gift or something, it will shock him, as he will be expecting the normal reaction, but if you shock him with a new one, you may find you break a cycle and things change and you get your cute little brother back.

I like this advice. Give it a try. It may work and frankly you've got nothing to lose. Good luck!


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## NYchic (Jan 31, 2009)

Deleted


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## Darla (Feb 1, 2009)

it sounds like your parents are scared of him too. duh you said that.

have they tried to discipline him?


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## Mixie87 (Feb 1, 2009)

Man he sounds like a brat. Do ur parents know he calls you a slut? that s pure disrespect.

i have two younger bros 14 and 15 almost 16. They are honestly the only ppl in this world i love and would die for in a second. but of course they have their bratty momentsand there are those times when i wanna beat there ass(cant anymore they are stronger than me now




) my lil bro called me a ***** b4 and i snapped. my dad doesnt even let them raise thir voice at me. one thing that annoys me is that they expect my mom to do everything for them, they curse at her. they wouldnt even dare to curse infront of my dad. my mom lets them get away with everything thats why they disrespect her. my bros are scared of me i turn into a zombie when they piss me off.

taalk to ur parents seriously!!!

him calling u a slut is something else. he should know better he's 17.


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## NYchic (Feb 1, 2009)

Deleted


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## bCreative (Feb 1, 2009)

Wow I am having the exact same thoughts at this moment. I thought it was wrong to hate my brother but when I saw this thread I know that I am not alone.


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## StereoXGirl (Feb 2, 2009)

Originally Posted by *NYchic* /img/forum/go_quote.gif My mom just says to ignore him and that he is a teenager. It's very hard to ignore when it happens so much and I hate those words that he calls me. Being a teenager is not an excuse to treat other people like that and call them names. Yes, being a teenager is difficult, but that's the point when it's most important to know what is and what is not acceptable behavior.
Honestly, by not stopping him, your parents are telling him that what he's doing is ok. And it's not. When did it get to the point where parents are afraid of their own children? That's really sad.


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## creolesugar (Feb 3, 2009)

love alone drives out hate


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## colormeup (Feb 4, 2009)

It's all brothers and sisters. I remember the outrageous things we'd do to each other. Let's see... I remember I had to sneak out to get the mail cause otherwise I get locked out of the house for hours. I also remember my sister laughing as she threw my stereo and other assorted bedroom items from the second window. Oh yeah, then there was the time she threw ravioli on the ceiling, walls and smooshed it on the floor laughing. She then proceeded to tell my parents that I did it. (BTW she was 17 at the time) How is that for starters?

But I don't hate her. Obnoxious? Yeah. Annoying? Yeah. But unlike friends you don't choose your family. They are the ones who you'll call or they will call during hard times; today and 50 years from now.


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## chandrika (Feb 5, 2009)

Originally Posted by *NYchic* /img/forum/go_quote.gif Sorry I have tried to be the bigger person a bunch of times but there is only so much you can take.
So today he spilled this whole bunch of juice on the very expensive carpet and then he is just sitting there playing video games. So I just said clean it up and he called me a slut again. I didn't yell or say it in a bad way. I HATE being called a slut especially since I am totally not one hello I am still a freaking virgin. I just feel it's like a mysgynotic and sexist. So my dad cleaned it up for him.

But yeah if it were up to me, I would never want to see him again. He has never gotten disciplined. I think my parents are scared of him. He is total TROUBLE. He has hit my mom on occasion. My mom just says it's cuz he is a teenager and I say that I got disciplined when I was a teen. But they do nothing to him. NOTHING. My mom says it's cuz he is crazy and I wasn't when I was a teen.

He has no problems or anything for all the people that said he might have problems. Nothing in school or anything. He does NOTHING. He just sits on his ass, plays video games and watches TV. He has the cable TV in the living room all to himself. No one else can take it away from him and if he doesn't get things his way, he will yell at my mom and curse at all of us.

I truly HATE him and will NEVER ever grow to like him. He could drop dead and I would be happy. Sad but the truth. I don't apologize for the way I feel because I know it's not my fault. He is just the devil and may God give him his due punishment.

Then I think you should just avoid him as much as possible, to protect yourself, as the situation is obviously causing you undue distress and that is not good for you. You could maybe even tell your parents that you feel it is having a bad effect on you and tell them that you do not want to pick up after him and will be avoiding him as much as possible. So that they are aware of the bad effect it is having on you.
And no you dont need apologise for how you feel, you are right, take care of yourself


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## ticki (Feb 5, 2009)

when i was growing up, i'd fight with my sister all the time. there was never any peace in the house. we were never really mean to each other, just your basic sibling fights. when i went to college and moved away, our relationship totally changed. not being around each other all the time made us appreciate each other more. in that case, absence truly did make the heart grow fonder. i guess i'm lucky in that i have a good relationship with my siblings. perhaps when you or your brother move away from home, that'll help to change things for the better.


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