# PDA-Affection...Follow up



## flychick767 (Dec 25, 2006)

I want to thank everyone for their comments in my earlier post. I am keeping this as a separate post so that it does not get lost in all the follow up posts. ( I hope the monitors will allow this)

In any case, I am sorry if I offended anyone. It was not my intent to do so and I hope that none was taken. Since I have known my fiance, I have always enjoyed being held by him, and it just happens that one of the places I like to be held, are my breasts. I find it very comforting to have his arms around me and his hand holding my breasts. Maybe that is because I think I am small, and I know that he appreciates my size, and it makes me feel more confident.

Anyway, it seems as if everyone who responded to my orgional post thought it was inappropriate for him to hold me the way he was. What I found interesting was that there were 86 views to the post as of this posting, but only 14 responses. Does that mean that the other 74 women who viewed the post were not offended, or did not think anything wrong with the way I was being held, thus they did not respond?

I don't know if that makes sense or not, but I assure you that I would never want to make someone feel uncomfortable around me. There are so many other things that I would like to post, and some are of a "sexual" nature, but again, I would not want to offend anyone. Believe me, I am pretty conservative compared to some of the things I have read here. Thus, I think it would be great if there could be some positive responses to the posts instead of all being negative. Yet, I must admit, when I posted about our little "car crunch" incident, every post was positive and I really do appreciate that.

I know this is long, but I just wanted to share my feelings. I am so happy to have found this site, and I hope everyone is as happy to have me as I am to be here.


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## han (Dec 25, 2006)

you didnt offend me at all.. and honestly peoples pda dont bother me either but if kids or older people are around out of respect the pda should remain pg rated..lol if your at a club or party with adults go for it..


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## missnadia (Dec 25, 2006)

1. I don't think your post itself was offensive. Everybody is entitled to post their rants/stories/experiences here and to seek advice about whatever they want. The "I would be offended" comments were mostly directed to the behaviour you were describing. That is, if WE had to witness such behaviour, then yes, we would be offended. This has nothing to do with you asking a question here. All question are welcome.

2. 14 responses for 86 views has nothing to do with opinions. I could very well speculate that the viewers who didn't respond found that the issue had already been properly addressed by those 14 posters who did respond and adequately reflected their opinions, and there was nothing more to add. But there's no way we'll ever find out. So work with what you have, there's no use for speculation here.

3. Did you really post this new thread to get positive responses?? If so, you're obviously looking for people to tell you what you want to hear, as opposed to their true opinions (which were already given to you in the previous thread). Are you so insecure about your own social behaviour that you need reassurance and "positive" feedback so badly?

4. People who take their valuable time to give out advice do not appreciate it being dismissed without even a hint of a response from you, under the motiff that the advice was "negative". Nobody has insulted you, people merely gave their honest opinions of what's acceptable or not. We all want to help you, but if you can't handle a debate about your actions, if you aren't able to discuss issues properly by responding to opposing arguments, if you DON'T want advice, then don't ask for it, and don't waste our time. Thanks!


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## flychick767 (Dec 25, 2006)

Good points by Han and Missnadia, although I totally disagree with points 3 and 4 from Missnadia.

Wow Missnadia, where did that atitude come from.

As far as point 3, I am not looking for others to say I was in the right, and I definatly do not need anyone else having to "reassure" me of anything.

As far as point 4, I can definatly handle any kind of debate, and always appreciate others opinions. As far as responding to the other womens posts about my origional posting, maybe I should have, and I now will go back and do so. But, I though that this posting was addressing those responses, but maybe I was wrong.

In any case, I am sorry if you felt I wasted your time.


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## missnadia (Dec 25, 2006)

You said very clearly in the above quote that you're looking for more "positive" feedback. That is, more people to agree with you.

It's amazing how many people come on these boards just to make people tell them what they wanna hear, and dismiss everybody else by labelling them as evil negative trolls.


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## AprilRayne (Dec 25, 2006)

I don't really think anyone has anything positive to say about you being around your friends and having your fiance holding your boob! Yeah, people write some risque things on here, but they are things they do in the privacy of their own home. Even Miss Sex herself said it was inappropriate (she knows who she is) LOL and there was a time and a place for it. You also said that your friend said to save it for the bedroom, that should be enough for you to know that it was offensive to her and you shouldn't do it in her presence! In your original post, you asked if we thought you were in the wrong and everyone pretty much thinks you were! You were asking for opinions and they gave them to you!! Not trying to be rude, by the way!!


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## SwtValina (Dec 25, 2006)

Although I understand wanting to be affectionate with your significant other, crossing the lines of social norms such as hand on breast action makes others uncomfortable and if you value the interests of the people around you then I would listen to them. Because the next thing you know, youll be sitting at home cuz no one's inviting out the "touchy-feely" couple who are all over each other


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## FeverDream (Dec 25, 2006)

I think missnadia addressed this appropriately. I would also wonder how him holding your breast could make you feel more comforted and confident as it provokes the oppostite response from those who would witness it, and garners disapproval from them. Anyway, I mean it's not really a big deal, just start holding hands instead or something =).


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## Mod_squad (Dec 25, 2006)

Time and place for everything. It might make you comforted and you might find enjoyment. But it would do the opposite for everyone in the room. The ratio for enjoyment and comfort, to those that are uncomfortable and finding the experience awkward (your friends) outweighs you. Mathmatics would proove your PDA to be a selfish move. I don't think anyone here was offended by your post, it was more your actions concerning your pda that sparked the comments. Action and makeuptalk forum post = different things.

Also, in response to

"86 views to the post as of this posting, but only 14 responses. Does that mean that the other 74 women who viewed the post were not offended, or did not think anything wrong with the way I was being held, thus they did not respond?".

The views are not an accurate representation of the number of viewers - only the number of times a post has been viewed. Posts are often read by a viewer more than once, esp if a poster have given their opinion.


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## Dragonfly (Dec 25, 2006)

I think Miss Nadia is absolutely correct.

Whether you like it or not, everyone at MUT thinks it is inappropriate that your boyfriend holds your breast in public and you let him hold your breast in public.

I'm from Ontario, Canada - home of the "it's completely legal for a woman to be topless in public, unless she displays or touches her breast(s) in a lewd manner"

Picture this - my boyfriend and I are sitting on a park bench and he is holding my breast, in plain view, for everyone to see. A police officer walks by and sees our activity.

Do you think he is going to:

A) smile at us and keep walking or

B) tell my boyfrind to get his hand off my breast

c) give he/us a ticket for lewd conduct

I'll give you a hint, it's not A.


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## girl_geek (Dec 26, 2006)

I don't think anyone was offended by your post -- you were asking for advice, and we gave it! I personally thought that the fact you even asked for advice shows that you were at least somewhat concerned about offending others, because you wanted to get our opinions on the matter! We can't fault you for that!

As for the number of views vs. posts.... I view *a lot* of threads without posting a reply, normally because other posters have already stated my opinion. Sometimes it just feels like a waste of time for me to type a reply, and a waste of time for those who are reading my reply, if my reply is just going to be the same as everyone else's. While I did just now post in your first thread (I hadn't seen this one yet), I'm sure there are other people who didn't bother to post because their opinion had already been stated. My guess is that if someone who had approved of your actions had read your thread, they would have posted a reply so they could voice their opinion since it was different from everyone elses'! But of course that is speculation, and we can't know for sure. Plus, someone already mentioned that people who already posted will likely view the thread multiple times looking for replies.

As for missnadia's post about how it sounded like you were just searching for positive responses ... well, honestly that's what I thought when I first read your post, too. Statements like this just made me think you were upset at all the negative responses and were trying to get someone to post a positive response:

Plus, how you kept saying that it made you feel more "confident" when he touched you, also sounded like you were just looking for validation for your actions (or trying to explain why your actions were ok even though all the replies were negative). Now maybe that wasn't your intent, but that's just how I interpreted it!  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

By the way -- I have small boobs too, and the fact that my hubby also loves my boobs does give me more confidence about my body image! However, he doesn't need to touch my breasts in public for me to feel confident -- he tells me (and shows me) in private, so it's obvious that he still likes my boobs when we're in public even though he doesn't touch them!  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" /> Plus, even if hubby did touch my boob in public, knowing that I was making others uncomfortable would make me feel less confident...


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## han (Dec 26, 2006)

very well said girl geek i totally agree with what you said and how you said it.. i think she posted this thread to apologize if in fact she offended anyone and she was very nice and i didnt find her offensive or rude.. and as far as her saying she would like more positive response instead of negative, maybe she wanted less rude snotty comments of course thats not what anyone wants to hear.. and if some people cant control them selfs maybe they need to grab there blankey and bottle and go watch barney(and she knows who she is)lol... and im not talking about you miss nadia


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## missnadia (Dec 26, 2006)

Frankly I don't believe that anybody in this or the other thread was out of control or rude. I think it's those people who need to see a  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" /> smiley and a "sorry didn't mean to offend you" after every sentence that expressed an opinion that disagrees with their own who are in urgent need of a blanky.


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## han (Dec 26, 2006)

i think your only hearing what you want.. first of all she is new and she felt as though people were offended or else she wouldnt of started this thread to say"sorry" and she thank everyone for posting and there comments and that she was glad to be here and hope that we all were glad she is here to.. and i was not speaking to you or all in my post i stated she knows whos she is .. i was refering to her snotty comment towards me and i agree not every one was rude to her i only recall her feeling as though you were the one with the attitude.. some times its not "what you say" but how you say it cause newbies dont know us or how to take it and i was looking forward to seeing her around on the boards but now i dunno.. oh and im not trying to argue so dont respond to me if you cant talk with out being "rude because im not trying to argue with you.. i still like reading and seeing you around too.lol


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## missnadia (Dec 26, 2006)

I wasn't referring to her.

Agreed. Now show me where anybody was "rude" to her.

So arguing (that is, having a different opinion) is the same as being rude in your perception? I guess you agree with the Original Poster then, that having your bf hold your boob in public is acceptable? Cause if you don't then you're arguing with her, and well... that's just rude, isn't it?

All idiocies aside, Han, I wasn't rude to you, so this comment of yours was totally uncalled for.


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## han (Dec 26, 2006)

i didnt say you were rude to me.. i just didnt want you to get offensive with what i was saying and this become an argument.. but hopefully now you understand what im trying to say.. peace


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## KimC2005 (Dec 26, 2006)

I am just curious exactly what you are wanting others to "see" by your boyfriend holding your boob? Is that the only way you feel like you are attractive to him is if he holds your boob? I wasn't offended by your post and I dont think all you got was negative comments. I think we were just sharing with you our opinion since thats what you asked for. I really hope you don't feel attacked, because that wasn't my intention.


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## Little_Lisa (Dec 26, 2006)

No worries! I was just stating my opinion on the matter in the other thread but your post certainly did not offend me at all!

Yes, i'm happy you found MuT, glad to have you with us, and looking forward to reading more of your posts!


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## Dragonfly (Dec 26, 2006)

Hey flychick, I can be rather blunt at times - sorry if I came across too harshly.

I hope our advice/opinions have offered some guidance.


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## Annia (Dec 28, 2006)

I did not respond to the other thread because of no. 2.

I agreed with most of the posters, especially Girl Geek.

Good post!

and the main reason for not responding in the other thread, was that I agreed with most of the posters, so I felt I did not need to repeat--like a broken record.


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## empericalbeauty (Dec 28, 2006)

my bf holds my boobs..in privacy or when we are just hanging out..but other wise? somethings are just meant for the house.


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## pinksugar (Jan 4, 2007)

Basically, I think that an earlier poster spoke about 'sexual' body parts and 'non sexual' body parts.. I'd like to extend that by saying that I think you can touch sexually and non sexually. If his hand is casually over your shoulder and just happens to be over your breast, even if it is lying there heavily, if it is a 'comforting' manner as you describe, rather than a sexual manner, then whatever, if you feel comfortable with it, go ahead.

Frankly some people will comment on what you do with your partner out of pure jealousy, even if you're not being sexual. People will always assume that you're doing stuff, even when you're not!

that said, however, if your partner is overtly sexual when he's touching you, to the extent that people notice and comment on that, then I personally would tone it down, purely because I don't feel comfortable with people commenting like that, and also, having been single for a long period of time before my current relationship, I acknowledge that it is upsetting to be constantly surrounded with cutesie couples who have their hands all over each other  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

Either way, you should live the way you want, but be aware that you have to live with people's reactions to that.

Good luck, and I wasn't offended!  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />


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