# Relationships are lame...



## brewgrl (Jul 16, 2008)

Yes I am married, and yes, I love him and I have no plans on getting a divorce. Yeah, He's a great father and all that, but still... Relationships are lame, and I doubt I will ever think otherwise.

Everyday, my husband does something or reacts to something that is the exact opposite of what I would do in the same situation. He has a hundred little quirks that I can't stand (and if you say that I should have known that before I got married... I will have to say that a good 85% of these quirks came out about 24 hours after getting married).

We do not share the same political views (which basically means we cancel out each others votes), dream vacation ideas, restaurant opinions.

When he has to leave overnight or for the week or just falls asleep on the couch, is it easy for me to fall asleep without him near? HECK YES!!!

my bed is friggin comfortable! and if i can lay diagonally arms stretched stretched out with every pillow on our bed surrounding me, then I am in heaven.

My husband could be Brad Pitt, and in two years, I would still feel this way. it's not about my husband, in the end... it's about compromise- and so I guess, what I am really saying, is that compromise is lame.

I know- I'm just being selfish or whatever, but regardless... it doesn't ever seem to get easier to adjust to life as a "we" when I loved life as a "me" so friggin much.


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## Aprill (Jul 16, 2008)

Amen sista!!!!!!!!!


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## pinksugar (Jul 16, 2008)

mmm, I hear you, there are sooo many benefits for being single that you don't really appreciate until you're in a relationship. But there are just as many the other way around too, lol.

Yes, there were times when I could have killed the ex, like seriously, some of the things he said or did it was like, WTF are you thinking?! so now, it feels great not to deal with that.

But then I do miss the snuggles, the surprise dinner invites and the sex. But then, the last 6 months of our relationship didn't have any of that stuff anyway, so I'm just as well off now anyway!






so... yeah. I totally hear you on this one, but I think taking the time to think about and appreciate the good things is a nice exercise sometimes.

Haha, did I just ramble on for 5 mins? I think I did. I guess what I'm saying is that we all feel like you are sometimes! there's nothing wrong with having a whinge


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## Ashley (Jul 16, 2008)

LOL. You two are really funny. Did you feel like this soon after getting married? I'm kinda worried! haha My boyfriend and I are very different (he's active, extroverted, I'm shy, reserved, etc) but I think that's what draws me to him.

However, I don't think I could date someone who has a very different political/social view from me!


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## brewgrl (Jul 16, 2008)

That's the thing that is SOOO irritating- inside, he knows he's wrong... because when it comes to the issues- healthcare, war, social security, education, the environment, rights regardless of race, gender, or sexuality- he believes the same things I do, but because he was raised in a conservative family, he is constantly voting the wrong way!

I love the man, and really- this is just a cheesy rant because he's watching the lamest TV ever and is eating a mountain of the most disgusting junk food... and then went outside to have a cigarette (which is such a pet peeve, since we both quit at the same time, and he is such a closet addict about it).

blechhh... I miss when the TV was all mine!!!!

hahaha


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## daer0n (Jul 16, 2008)

LOL Jen!

this is such a funny rant but a lot of it is true, and about your last comment about him not admitting that he is wrong, i know now, that men are NEVER wrong in their mind haha.

Maybe we should all get separate houses for when we feel like they're getting too much in our nerves and move out for a day or something haha!

I just miss doing my own thing sometimes without being judged and always scrutinized on why i do this or that, always have to give him a reason of why i do stuff bah.


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## Darla (Jul 16, 2008)

Jen,

i think every couple runs into this from time to time and whats needed is a opportunity for the two of you to collectively figure out why you got together in the first place. But i can relate... sometimes


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## CellyCell (Jul 16, 2008)

Hahaha. Stubborn dudes, omg. And you have to agree sometimes just to shut them up...?

You guys make married life sound so inviting.


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## bella1342 (Jul 16, 2008)

After I read the Nordstrom exclusive thread, I came looking for this one.

LOL, you are so schizo!!!

I'm just sitting here amazed right now, because I'm telling you... we were seperated at birth. I could have wrote that exact same post. I love sleeping in the bed by myself. He gets mad at me because I call it MY bed.


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## AprilRayne (Jul 16, 2008)

Oh my gosh, I feel the same way! Sometimes I think to myself, what the heck am I doing married! I loved being single and after my divorce, I was happy to be single again. Some people say, that sucks to get thrown back into the dating scene and I was like, bring it on! I actually really enjoyed living in my own place with my son and paying my own bills and not having to answer to anyone! My husband is amazing and I love him so much, but sometimes I think I was meant to be single! LOL I'm to independant and stubborn, but we make it work somehow! LOL


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## internetchick (Jul 16, 2008)

HA!! I sleep the _exact same way_ when he isn't there(which has only been a handful of times). I sleep so soundly like that, that I don't wake up all the time to roll over. I fall asleep and then don't wake up again until morning.


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## pinksugar (Jul 16, 2008)

well I actually sleep better with someone else in the bed. But when I get my own place I want a king size, or at least a queen. I hate running out of space.


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## mac-whore (Jul 16, 2008)

hahah!! sometimes i feel the exact same way. we've been together going on two years and it's the little stuff that's just irritating as hell! i love him but, goodness.. sometimes i'd love my space back. more time to work, go out with friends, take up hobbies, ect ect ect.


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## KatJ (Jul 16, 2008)

I wouldn't so much say relationships are lame, as they're hard as hell. Believe me, I understand where you're coming from. I know just how irritating those "quirks" are, and how difficult it is to have a peaceful conversation over politics. But this is where we differ, when my husband sleeps in MY bed (as the whole family calls it) it does take me a little longer to fall asleep, but I sleep so much better. I probably look at things differently considering I haven't lived with my husband in 9 1/2 months. Only since April have we been able to spend one night a week together. I've learned that the key to any relationship (besides the basics of honesty, trust, and love, blah, blah, blah) is space, and figuring out when you need that space.


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## pinkbundles (Jul 16, 2008)

I totally get you babe! Marriage is a freakin' job all on its own. It takes so much energy to keep giving it fire and making compromises that it makes you wonder if there's anything wrong since you have to work soooo hard to make it work in the first place!

Mine just drives me up the wall! The things that didn't used to bother me, now does. And you know what, I feel a tremendous amount of relief when I hear he's going away or something. I actually have "me" times and not have to hear constant chatter about nothing for the sake of "communicating".

So yeah, if I ever get divorced...I would never, ever get married again!


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## kbella (Jul 16, 2008)

Can't live with them and can't live without them..ugh!


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## laurafaye (Jul 17, 2008)

I don't think I want to get married now ahahah.


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## Johnnie (Jul 18, 2008)

Guess I'm the 2nd one to say we're different. I truly have nothing to complain about. He's the best thing that's ever happened to me. Sure, we have our differences in some way or another but that's how it is. We can see why each other feels a certain way about certain things but, at least, we are understanding and don't see absolutely any reason to criticize one another for having a particular belief, opinion or conviction. There's compromise but that's a given in any relationship but I think there's a thin line between compromise and sacrifice. I truly don't believe it's healthy to sacrifice particular aspects of yourself in order to keep a relationship going. That's where I'd draw the line.

I'm sorry to hear that your husband gets under your skin and maybe you should consider Darla's advice and "collectively figure out why you guys got together in the first place."

Best of Luck!


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## AngelaGM (Jul 18, 2008)

GMTA! I feel the exact same way at the moment! But I really think I need to appreciate my husband more.


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## Adrienne (Jul 21, 2008)

Originally Posted by *pinkbundles* /img/forum/go_quote.gif So yeah, if I ever get divorced...I would never, ever get married again! Man i hear ya!!!



I'm 20 but i've been with married for 4 years in jan, together 5, and i swear if i would to get divorce today, i'd never do it again. Or at least not in the next 20 years LOL. I swear being married is like having a starter kid. I was really prepared for my son the day he was born.


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## reesesilverstar (Jul 21, 2008)

Yup... u guys have done a good job of scaring me...


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## pinkbundles (Jul 21, 2008)

Originally Posted by *reesesilverstar* /img/forum/go_quote.gif Yup... u guys have done a good job of scaring me... That's just reality after the honeymoon's over! The thing is, marriage is hard work and really, when it's good, it's great. But when it's bad, it gets bad!


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## GlossyAbby (Jul 21, 2008)

WOW I totally could have written this as well.. I love when he is out of town I sleep right in the middle of the king size bed........that is heaven!!!!!!! I think its crazy my husband and I cancel each other's vote too....


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## rejectstar (Aug 2, 2008)

Originally Posted by *KatJ* /img/forum/go_quote.gif I've learned that the key to any relationship (besides the basics of honesty, trust, and love, blah, blah, blah) is space, and figuring out when you need that space. I agree 100%!
I don't live with my boyfriend, and I think that's a really good thing. If we lived together in the place he has right now, it would not last very long. I'm someone who seriously needs her space! So much so, if I ever moved in with my guy, I think I'd need to have my own bed, if not my own bedroom. I just have to have my own space, and time to regenerate alone. 24/7 with ANYONE for an extended period of time undoubtedly drives me insane.

There are a handful of quirks he has that really bother me, but I don't complain, because I have to wonder... which of my quirks annoy the sh*t out of him? I know there has to be at least a few! I don't like the idea of a relationship where you spend all day every day with each other, sleep in the same bed every night, get dressed in the same room every morning, and never get a break from your partner. I guess I'm just a really private person... but my relationship seems to be doing very well, so the future doesn't worry me too much. You can think I'm weird, it's ok-- I accepted that fact long ago




. Just give me my space when I need it, and everyone's happy!


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