# Blah, i hate boys.



## xlooseleaves (Jun 14, 2007)

sorry this is going to be long... hah

my boyfriend broke up with me and i've been a wreck.

It basically all started when i didn't go to his graduation party because i had plans with my family. I didn't think it was a crazy big deal or anything since he didn't really seem like he cared if i went or not. But he called me after it was done and he told me he was upset that i didn't and whatever. a couple days later he got in a small car accident, his car didn't get hurt too badly but he still couldnt drive it until it got fixed. So he was car-less and so was i which made it hard to see eachother. So he started hanging out with some of his old friends (who do drugs and aren't the smartest people in the world) because they were willing to give him rides and what not. So then for about a week he just didn't call me. Of course i was worried, so i called him and told him how i felt and how i'd basically been crying for the last three days because i was worried that he didn't like me anymore or was mad at me.

and he was like i love you and i don't want you to think that i've just been hanging out with all my friends that i wont ever see again when they go to college and stuff like that and he reassured me that he still loved me and cared about me. so i was like "yayy, thank god he still likes me." Then the next day he called me and told me that he didn't think that he was being honest with me. He told me that he thinks that he is changing, and that he has been connecting with his old friends a lot lately (they are boys btw), and he doesnt feel like we connect anymore. I asked him how long he thought that and he said for about a week, and i was like...so you did all this changing, and you decided you didn't like me after we've been dating for 15 months... in a week? and he didn't say anything because i think he realized how stupid that was. then he said that he felt guilty for doing drugs everyday, and not spending time with me.

so we broke up. and i've been crying non stop.

we've been dating for well over a year and have never even fought at all.

in fact, we were completely happy. or thats how it seemed to me anyway.

it all just seems so sudden and i dont even know what to do with myself.

I feel so pathetic when i talk to him because it's like no matter what i say and how much i tell him i still like him i can't change his mind.

I'm powerless over everything, and i hate that feeling.

AND the fact that he lied to me and said everything was fine killed me, and he did all of this OVER THE PHONE!?

what makes it worse is that he left for italy yesterday.

so..i have to wait two weeks to talk about everything with him in person.

ughhh, i'm just so scared. i've become so dependent on him, and i'm mad that i let myself become so attached.

i'm thinking maybe he is just overwelmed with everything. I mean having all his friends go away to college while he isn't going anywhere, and actually having to think about his future.

hmmph. i don't know if thats the case its just like i'm the one who will be here in a few months, they won't be. I understand that he wants to spend as much time with them as possible, but i dont think its that hard to spend time with me and them.

ugh it just sucks.


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## Harlot (Jun 14, 2007)

That indeed sucks and is kind of confusing and beating-around-the-bush like (on his part) But what do *you* want to do?


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## Dragonfly (Jun 15, 2007)

Call me Ms Cynic but I don't think he has been honest with you at all.

I suspect he might be doing something he doesn't want you to know about so he's giving you a song and dance.

Go out and have fun with your friends.

When he gets back from Italy, have a real heart to heart.

If he still wants to be single, then you don't have much choice but to move on.

If he wants to reconcile, use your discretion.

I have a rule - never let anyone break up with you more than once.


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## Bikz (Jun 16, 2007)

OMG,let's see what good thing I can tell you...

Well,it's hard to,but...Stop crying!Crying because of guys is soooo pathetic!(I do that all the time,but I keep that in my mind...So do it as I say,not as I do)

Here's what you should do:

You need to go out with all of your friends at once!They know what you're going through so they will keep you away from couples!

You need to go to a gay bar!

My sister recently has gone to a gay bar...She said it's the funniest place ever!Sure,it's not a place for going on a date if you're straight but you have lots of fun!

So go out,have fun,laugh and enjoy the little things that make life beautiful!!!

Hope u get better

B~

&lt;3


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## James (Jun 16, 2007)

Awe, sweetheart, that's terrible. What you need to do right now, though, while he's gone and you aren't dealing with running into him at the grocery store, is focus on yourself. Hang out at home, have a bath, go for a run, watch some movies.. do whatever helps you feel good about yourself.

As for the boy, there's a good chance you're right, guys are insecure, especially when it comes to measuring their success. Hopefully he'll deal with whatever issues he's having and then once he's more secure with himself and what he's feeling, he'll be ready to talk to you again. And if not, then hopefully you've come out of the relationship with good experiences, and can be a stronger person from it. Whatever happens, you'll be fine. =)


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## MindySue (Jun 17, 2007)

i can only imagine how shocking it must have been, but for him to totally change his mind about you guys after hanging with his bad influence friends, hes a jerk.


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## pinksugar (Jun 17, 2007)

chicken I have been through the exact same situation, almost identically. If you need to talk, I'm a few months ahead of you and can give you some pointers on how to deal with it all. PM me or leave me a message if you need to talk





Cheer up chickadee, go eat some chocolate. And it's better to cry it out than to bottle it up!

xox


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## CellyCell (Jun 17, 2007)

That sucks... boys are so damn heartless sometimes.

Cry girl... it releases things out. I hope when he comes back, he comes back with a clear mind. Dont be so quick to take him back if he does... hash stuff out before hand. Trust me... dont wanna be fooled again and thinking he's fine when he aint.


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## xlooseleaves (Jun 18, 2007)

Thanks for the advice everyone, it has helped alot.

and sorry it took so long for me to respond!

I've been trying to keep busy by getting pretty and going out with friends.

It has kept my mind off of things for awhile, and i feel a little better now.

But I'm still really nervous for the talk we will have when he gets back.

I've been thinking about what I want, and what I'm going to say to him constantly. I just don't want to cry and be pathetic when i talk to him hah. I really don't know what to expect I guess.

I'm trying stay positive. I keep telling myself that if it's over it's over and it's his loss. But at the same time I'm like i finally have a car, hes getting an apartment, I can stay out as late as want, and it's summer which means that things could have been so good for us right now.

and to top it off everyone I told so far had the same reaction which was basically "I can't believe he did that"! followed by "he will come around and you guys will be together again." While it's nice to hear that they are so certain everything will be okay, at the same time it kind of kills me. I don't want to set myself up for a big let down, ya know?


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## pinksugar (Jun 18, 2007)

yup. Of course you don't. let us know how everything goes chicken


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## xlooseleaves (Jun 21, 2007)

I will, he comes back in 3 days!

At first I was so sure that I wanted to get him back, but now I don't know.

I saw a guy when I was downtown with some friends the other night, and for some reason I couldn't stop drooling over him! It made me realize how exciting being single could be. I mean I'm in highschool, and it's summer! the possibilities are endless haha

My mind might change when I see him, but as of right now I have no clue what I want!

well... anyways, I'll let you know what happens!

and thanks sooo much for listening to me complain haha

It's nice to just let everything out sometimes.


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## Ricci (Jun 21, 2007)

Yeah now u got the spirit!! Summer boys are comming!! hehe

Originally Posted by *xlooseleaves* /img/forum/go_quote.gif I will, he comes back in 3 days!At first I was so sure that I wanted to get him back, but now I don't know.

I saw a guy when I was downtown with some friends the other night, and for some reason I couldn't stop drooling over him! It made me realize how exciting being single could be. I mean I'm in highschool, and it's summer! the possibilities are endless haha

My mind might change when I see him, but as of right now I have no clue what I want!

well... anyways, I'll let you know what happens!

and thanks sooo much for listening to me complain haha

It's nice to just let everything out sometimes.


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## kaylin_marie (Jun 21, 2007)

I think it's perfectly healthy to cry. Don't feel pathetic b/c your are sad and because you are crying. Seriously It is really really difficult to get through a breakup when you've become dependent on someone. Because chances are you don't have that much of a life outside of that person. Take your time healing. Spend a couple days being sad if you want to. Rent movies and sit around in your apartment and eat junk food if you want!! Call your mommy, or your mommy equivelant. If you feel the need to talk to him, then do it soon and get it over with. Don't keep talking to him all the time, cause you'll never heal that way. I'm not saying don't every talk to him again, just give yourself time to get over it. And you WILL get over it. After giving yourself a little time, then start calling friends, and taking baby steps towards a new social life. I DO NOT recommend immediately going out and partying really hard right after a break up....trust me. But eventually you'll start having fun and you'll be great.

and btw you can complain here anytime!!


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## jessimau (Jun 22, 2007)

If you're seeing how fun single can be, I say give it a shot. This guy led you on and lied about what he was doing, which is pretty disrespectful. You also need to decide how okay you are with his drug use because if that's a no-no for you, getting back with him might not be the best option. I hope everything turns out the best for you in the situation. Look at it this way: a single summer could help you rediscover yourself *and* be a really fun time!


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## xlooseleaves (Jul 1, 2007)

i FINALLY got to hang out with him!

and wow, now i'm more confused then ever.

He said that not seeing me made him forget about how amazing i was, and that he shouldn't have. He also said that he feels that he might have made a mistake and that he wants to see if we can make it work by hanging out more and then seeing what happens from there. We held hands, cuddled and kissed and now i'm like WHY DID I DO THAT?!, i can't just act like he didn't make me cry for a week and let him have me back that easy! plus if he decides that we shouldn't be together i'm going to feel extra pathetic AND feel used at the same time.

He said he still liked me and never stopped, but he didn't expect to still have that strong of feelings for me. So blah I don't know it's so confusing. Eventually he got a little too touchy and whatever and I got kind of snippy with him, and then he apologized alot and said that he didn't mean to and then later on he said maybe he should take me home so that he doesn't do anything to make me mad again because he is really confused and has to think about things and whatever. adasd!

I hate it. He acts like the old him one minute, and then acts like this new person he has "changed" in to the next. I mean I honestly don't have a problem with people who do drugs, as long as they don't brag about it or make it an obsession. But i'm afriad thats what he is doing. It just bugs me that he tells me about it as if I would be interested when he knows i'm not very keen with the whole drug thing.

I don't know and he hasn't really talked to me about anything since we hung out which was on thursday. even then we barely talked about very much because we were both excited to see eachother.

I don't know, one of my exs told me he still had a thing for me and I told him about it and he was like you can hang out iwth him you know you are allowed to...and i was like ...yeah? and that really confused me. I'm not sure, I think he was just saying that to see what I would say because he admitted to me once before that he was jealous of the whole thing. So maybe he just wanted to see if I would be like yeah i will or something. But i don't know I guess I don't know where we stand with eachother still and that really bothers me. But i almost have to be worked in to his schedule, if i want to see him.

asdlkjasdk i don't know i give up on boys.


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