# Boyfriend trouble....



## Nessicle (Mar 27, 2006)

...in that I can't get one! I'm starting to wonder if I've got geek tatooed on my head?! I'm not desperate and don't act it when I go out but I do make eye contact to let a guy know I like him it's just that guys don't come and talk to me and it really worried me.

also it's really hard to meet guys these days I mean a nightclub isnt exactly the best place to meet anyone and I don't really have any friends (long story involving me moving cities and losing friends etc) so I haven't got that option of anyone introducing me to any cute guys! It just feels hopeless!


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## Becka (Mar 27, 2006)

Don't feel hopeless Vanessa, it'll happen, if it makes you feel any better, I didn't find my Mr. Right until I was 29 !


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## Nessicle (Mar 27, 2006)

Thanks Becka!! I suppose it just gets lonely sometimes what with not having many friends here and just coming home from work and being on my own which is poo! It'd just be nice to have someone to talk to on the phone each night, someone who is interested in listening and having someone to cuddle up to on a friday night with a DVD when we're both skint!


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## posterofagirl (Mar 27, 2006)

I know exactly how you feel. I'll go out with friends and by the end of the night I feel like a complete troll and wonder wtf is wrong with me... but like you said, it's not like the bar is even the best place. Anyways, I wouldn't worry, you're _very_ pretty and I'm sure the guys are just intimidated! :flowers:


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## Nessicle (Mar 28, 2006)

Aww bless you! It is really hard isnt it? My other friends (the ones I have) all have boyfriends and maybe that's why they don't see me much, because they're to busy being loved up. I have one friend who used to have boys falling at her feet when we went out, really tall, willowy, pretty and with big boobs and she was engaged and they split up. 4 months later after dating loads of men a bloke who new her friend asked for her number, they're now living together with a baby due at the end of May. She has no debt, perfect house, a really nice car and I feel like I have nothing. I'm the complete opposite - no money, no car, gonna be homeless in July....I know there are people completely worse off than me but you can only understand your own situation - mine is [email protected]*t!


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## girl_geek (Mar 29, 2006)

Sometimes you just have to stop looking!

I've never had many friends, I've always been the kind of person to just hang out with one or two close friends rather than larger groups. And I've never even been into a nightclub or a bar -- I didn't think that was the best place to meet a good Christian man  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" /> I went to a Christian college where tons of students were engaged or even married by graduation (the joke was you went there to get your MRS degree! lol). I dated a guy seriously early on but that didn't work out, and as I approached graduation I also started to feel pretty desparate -- I thought that if I couldn't find a good Christian man when I was surrounded by 1000 of them, how could I ever find one when I went off to a public grad school and then on to the workplace? Finally I just accepted the fact that I would probably be single a while and I might as well enjoy it, so my senior year of college I spent a lot of time with my girl friends (especially the one who was also single, lol) and just doing things that I liked -- kind of "finding myself", I guess! So I was prepared to go on to grad school and be single and just concentrate on my studies, maybe start looking for a guy again after I finished school....

But wouldn't you know it, my husband just appeared out of no where when I least expected it! During the summer between college and grad school, I was on a summer internship, and my boss introduced me (more like set me up, lol) with her son. Within a few days we were dating, and within 4 months we were engaged! :icon_eek: If you are meant to find someone, you will find the perfect person at the person time -- I am glad I met my husband when I did, not earlier and not later, for too many reasons for me to explain here!  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />


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## Nessicle (Mar 30, 2006)

Aww thank you for the encouragement! I think you are right in that I suppose I focus on it but it's because I don't do anything except work and sit at home on my backside thinking about things. I can't afford to go places and to go the gym or anything so I don't really have anything to take my mind off of stuff and I don't have any close friends at all, only my mum and she lives at the other side of the city to me.

I also tried to find a Christian man but they're few and far between in England as it's not the done thing to have a religion over here - to much politics and the fact that you're considered a bible bashing weirdo if you so much as even mention Jesus! I would love to meet a good looking Christian boy but I just don't think its possible in this day and age. Most of my male friends are athists which is quite sad really!

Anyway I've resigned myself to the fact that I won't meet a christian man unless its god's will - hell he might even want me to be a nun :icon_eek:


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## Kelly (Mar 30, 2006)

First of all, I agree, I think men may be intiminated by your beauty. You are gorgeous!

Second, do they have eharmony.com over there in England. I hear out of all the dating sites, this one is the most trustworthy one. Have you ever tried something like this? Or is it just too weird?


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## girl_geek (Mar 30, 2006)

Your welcome! Yeah, after I typed that post I was wondering if my "Christian man" comments would offend anyone, but I figured surely they'd realize that I just wanted to marry a Christian and not that I was saying that everyone should!  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" /> I guess America is a little different than England in that respect ... in some parts of the country (especially the "Bible Belt" area of the Midwest and South) it's actually quite common to find people who claim to be Christians and go to church just because it's the thing to do, even though they live their lives in an otherwise un-Christian manner! I guess it just takes some looking to find an authentic Christian anywhere!


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## Nessicle (Mar 30, 2006)

Aww thank you you're so sweet! I don't think we do have eHarmony.com but I have tried dating sites in the past and I've met some people in the flesh - a lot of people on those sites lie a bit and post pictures that aren't them. Way weird! lol!


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## Nessicle (Mar 30, 2006)

No don't worry I could tell that you were referring to yourself so I'm sure everyone else will have thought that too! :icon_smil

Yeah it's not the done thing in England unfortunately - makes it kind of hard to express yourself without everyone thinking you're a nutter lol!!


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## Sarah84 (Apr 5, 2006)

I know the feeling Vanessa, I think i'm gonna be single forever haha

And there just isn't any good men over here :laughno:


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## Lia (Apr 5, 2006)

Don't worry , it'll happen someday  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" /> (i hope it's true - i've never dated anyone Â¬Â¬ maybe because people are afraid of me? i'm too closed and sometimes i wear a big bright red lipstick that screams: i dare you to try to get closer to me - try and see what happens)


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## piinnkkk (Apr 5, 2006)

I'm sure you'll find your Mr. Right.

I used to always be worrying about guys and finding a boyfriend. Finally, I just stopped looking and just started living life to make me happy right now. I found a wonderful boyfriend who I was with for a year. Now, I have my second boyfriend and it's great.

Just stop worrying!!  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />


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## SierraWren (Apr 5, 2006)

I agree with everyone that maybe you should stop actively searching for a boyfriend, partly b/c it's when I and other people I know, too, have stopped looking for it that romance presented itself. I also agree with some of the people here that your beauty may well be intimidating to men, who want very much to go up and meet you but are scared to.(I'm assuming that you know you're beautiful!)And you're so young...you have so much time, and the whole world ahead of you--and when you start to feel a little more relaxed with yourself, I think you will start meeting the nice men you deserve to meet.(Btw, bars aren't always to be ruled out:I met my husband in a bar,called the Oar House, no less, and this March we had our 9th anniversary. You just never know!) :flowers:


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## Nadiaxo (Apr 10, 2006)

Whenever the time is right he will come. :satisfied: Its funny though its true when you stop looking, than he comes. I am as well single lol. It seems I am not attracked to anyone or I don't even have a crush. Well atleast we don't have boyfreind darama things could be worse lol. I am sure he will come. There a lot of guys who look, but there certain guys who take that extra step or perhaps you have to take it.


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## KISKA (Apr 10, 2006)

My "problem" is a little different but the outcome is just the same. I can't make eye contact with a guy even if my life depended on it. When a cute guy looks at me I have to look down or look the other way and pretend I don't see him. It's like I want guys to come up and talk to me and everytime they do I must bail. Once a hot guy came up to me on the beach and started talking and I completely ignored him and left. And one other time I just started laughing for absolutely no reason when he asked for my phone number and he's like "what's so funny?" and then I just left. :eusa_wall:It's like when a hot guy approaches me, my heart starts beating fast and I must leave immediately. lol I should stop being such a baby and just act normal. This only happens with hot stranger guys which is weird. I am completely fine with talking with cute guys at work and I even asked one out. So I don't know what's wrong with me. Maybe they guys aren't coming up to talk to you cuz they're weird babies like me.:icon_scratch:


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## Nessicle (Apr 10, 2006)

Aww thank you! I don't think I'm beautiful at all - when I go out and see the 6ft girls with never ending legs and perfect hair and make up I just think well I don't stand a chance!


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## Nessicle (Apr 10, 2006)

I know I feel like Bridge Jones already! Just need to put on a stone and get the big girdle pants now and I'll be there!

I'm thinking of starting a campaign for nice men to come forward! Fancy joining me lol!!


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## martine (Apr 11, 2006)

heres the deal - most guys just want sex

solution? be a whore!

lol...


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## KISKA (Apr 11, 2006)

this great advice coming from a male? lol

Actually one of my guy friends said that guys only want sex because all the other stuff is too hard to deal with. I think it's because they are addicted to the emotion - Quantum Psysics.


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## dixiewolf (Apr 11, 2006)

You dont? You are so pretty in your pictures. I am serious. But it doesnt matter what you look like, b/c as hokey as this sounds, a guy really into you isnt going to care what you look like or just want sex. I didnt date until I was in college, I think the worst guys on earth, the compulsive liars, future felons, just plain pooheads, all showed up when I started dating. So I didnt have a good dating life, I was miserable, I thought all guys were supposed to treat me like crap, yell at me, slap my butt, tell me what to do, etc. So I wish I had not dated. Well actually I am over it all now, so maybe I do, since I learned what I didnt want. I used to meet guys out, and they arent all bad, most were, but I went out with a couple guys I would not have broken up with if they hadnt moved away and dumped me. They were really nice, didnt drink, treated me with respect, etc, unlike the others. 4 years ago, after a BAD breakup, I weighed about 100 pounds (down from 150), drank all the time b/c I was so depressed, the guy had told me I didnt look as good as celebrities, etc. I had a friend of my mom set me up, he had to wait a few months, while I gained weight, stopped drinking, and being a normal person first (they just kept telling him I was sick, he didnt know until I told him later). But anyways, I am 28, still not sure, we have to plans to get married, I always wonder if I dated enough, as in nice guys. Not that my bf isnt nice, he is smarter than me for a change, and thinks I am beautiful, and I used to only hear I was not, had small boobs, was fat, etc. My point is just dont date just to date, it sucks, I should have just been alone. And what Girl-Geek said, I know guys who go to church just to meet girls (not b/c they want to go to church), even AA meetings and they dont have drinking problems. Now thats just WRONG. I cant believe I thought guys were worth all I went through. I know what you mean about being lonely, most of my friends all moved after college, I have a really hard time making friends too b/c I dont know how and I am shy. Sorry this is long, I had a hard time making my point, lol.


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## Shelley (Apr 12, 2006)

Nessicle you are beautiful!  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" /> I agree with the others about not looking for a guy. When you least expect it a great guy will walk into your life.


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## _withoutYou (Apr 14, 2006)

i have the same problem... i'm almost 19 and i've never been in a serious relationship. i dont know what the heck is wrong with me... i'm starting to think that i need to stop playing games and let myself go. i play hard to get way too much and always make up excuses for everything. ugh.


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## chelles93 (Apr 17, 2006)

A lot of people believe this, but it depends on whether you really want a boyfriend, or are willing to wait it out.

If you want one quickly, put up an ad on a dating website. Every single person I know who did this has a mate now. You have to weed through all the losers, but there are some great guys online who are going through the same thing as you.

Have a friend take some flattering pictures - girl-next-door-type, nothing skanky - and write a good ad. There are a million sites, some of them free.


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## TW1NKLE (Apr 30, 2006)

Babygirl, don't ya feel so down. To tell you, I've never had a boyfriend before. I've seen guys for more then a month or two. But never got into the boyfriend/girlfriend thing. Don't bother going out and trying to search for one, if he comes, he'll come. Enjoy your single life, have fun &amp; party hard, and eventally he'll come...


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