# Is it possible to fall for someone you didn't find physically attractive at first?



## alice_alice (Jan 29, 2007)

i'm sure its possible but how do you think it would work or if you've been there - what exactly happened?


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## Saje (Jan 29, 2007)

Im sure personality is a Huge factor so I would think getting to know the person is a must. Alot of my friends who are with guys you would ask yourself "Why him?" usually were friends with the guy first... and then feelings develop.


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## Kookie-for-COCO (Jan 29, 2007)

Darlin', where emothions are concerned--anything is possible.:sleepyhead:


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## Dragonfly (Jan 29, 2007)

Looks only carry a person so far.

Focus more on interests and values - these are needed for a long term relationship.


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## Kathy (Jan 29, 2007)

I've been with a couple guys that LOOKED really good, but had NOTHING going on other than that. If I have gotten to know someone first as a friend, then the attraction comes later. Because I'm attracted to them as a person, not just as eye candy.


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## la_moni (Jan 29, 2007)

I was attracted to my Bf for his personalily, he made me laugh and had other good qualities to him. I have gone out with some good looking guys but then they turned out to be jerks. So for me looks can take a person so far.


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## dentaldee (Jan 29, 2007)

going for personality will always get you farther then going for looks!!!!!!!!

Bruce is not at all what I had pictured for myself........and people who know just him or just me.........are usually shocked when they meet the other of us......we are not a match appearance wise..............but we have been together for 12 years now.........now some of his physical attribute get on my nerves sometimes.........like his weight, but then I sit back and ask myself why am I being like that, I love him and I am thankful *he's a great guy*

there are so many worse things he could be other than heavy etc.....like abusive, alcoholic, stay out, partyer, disrespectful.........


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## AprilRayne (Jan 29, 2007)

I dated a guy after my divorce that was not very physically attractive, but he treated my like a queen. It was a huge change from the relationship I had come from. He became more and more attractive to me as we got to know eachother because he was hilarious and made me feel so good about myself. It didn't work out between us, but I lucked out with my hubby now because he is so amazing and sooo gorgeous too!!  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />


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## jdepp_84 (Jan 29, 2007)

Ditto. I went through a similar situation during high school. I dated this guy that was totally different than me, but he was just sooo nice and sweet.


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## CubNan (Jan 29, 2007)

Yes, yes, yes!!! My Boyfriend and I met through match.com. At first meeting, I wasn't really attracted to him. Shorter than me, chubby, nice smile, little on the scruffy side. His posted pictures were terrible. His personality won me over and I'm crazy about this man. I'm 46 and may actually be truely in love for the first time in my life, tho I've had many boyfriends and several significant others. We've been together for just over a year and I believe this is the man I will marry. Who would ever have "thunk it".


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## han (Jan 29, 2007)

not really there has to be a physical attraction im sorry that might be shallow of me but presonality alone isnt enough i will get bored if he dont have it all..


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## Aquilah (Jan 29, 2007)

Yep! When I first met John, I thought he was the biggest Eminem wanna be with his bleached hair. He wasn't at all attractive to me. However, as we got to know each other, and his personality won me over, I found him more attractive. It helped he cut off the blonde hair LMAO! Now, I find him irresistably sexy!


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## Saje (Jan 30, 2007)

Its not shallow at all. Its just that different people have different standards of beauty and these varying degrees change with how not just our brain and eyes see things but our emotions as well. (I'll bet everyone here has someone they think is ugly yet others find really hot or vice versa)

If someone has a trait or personality we like, that carries something to how we see them physically.

And as important as physical attraction is... it can only carry you so far.


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## Dragonfly (Jan 30, 2007)

Sometimes you have to turn things around.

I would hate to find out someone turned me down because I wasn't attractive enough. I am a nice person, good values, fun personality - see what they missed out on.


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## han (Jan 30, 2007)

i get what you guys are saying and i have dated guys with great personality and they werent by no means ugly but i just didnt have the physical attraction to have intimacy or relationship if that make any sense there just wasnt an attraction to keep me intrested enough to be with them


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## xjackie83 (Jan 30, 2007)

I've "fell" for so many guys that I initially didn't find physically attractive, but once I got to know them, their other qualities made them so much more physically attractive than any other guy.


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## tfigueroa (Jan 30, 2007)

very possible my relationship is proof it happens and can turn out either way. my boyfriend didnt think i was hott, weve been together for almost three years and now he thinks im hott(so he says).


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## hushabye (Jan 30, 2007)

my current bf isnt exactly hot but i fell for him....hard. now i think he's the sexiest man alive. LOL

Sometimes i look back and think of the hot guys ive dated in the past that were jerks. Im glad i was able to overlook "looks" in a guy


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## alice_alice (Jan 30, 2007)

thanks for chipping in guys. it was interseting reading through all the answers. i agree that personality is the biggest turn on and to me looks dont hold much importance. i read that somewhere: looks come and go but attitude lasts forever. :laughing:


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## Angie2006 (Jan 30, 2007)

Currently lusting after a guy that I had no attraction to at all when I first met him. After months of getting to know him...all of the sudden I want him. Happened to me once before too and these are probably the 2 Ive wanted most out of all of them


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## alice_alice (Jan 30, 2007)

good luck with that guy. thats what i was talking about, after knowing someone for some time and not being attracted by them you suddenly find yourself interested. how does that happen?


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## speerrituall1 (Jan 30, 2007)

Looks can get "old" fast if there is no substance.


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## Lia (Jan 30, 2007)

Yeah  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" /> I'm kinda liking a guy who is a mom's co-worker (no, he isn't old, he's just 24, haha) which is cute, but not oooh hot. But he's suuuch a nice guy


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## princessemi (Jan 30, 2007)

Seriously, i don't know... for me, i never falled in love with someone who i didn't find physically attractive... :S I fall in love with his personnality like if i see that he is confident, i will find him verryyyy attractive  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />


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## Saja (Jan 30, 2007)

Its usually personality first then looks for me. The more my feeling grow, the better he looks. I fell in love with guy who wasnt hot hot hot......but he became hotter the longer i knew him. Maybe its because guys who are interested in me, are interrested for my personality...not my looks


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## veilchen (Jan 30, 2007)

I really think you can! Loving someone changes your perception of him - it has happened to me; I met a guy who was totally not my type (pale, red hair, ...) but I got to know him better and better and then I began to think he was cute, and in the end, when I was really in love, I was wondering how I didn't find him attractive right from the start.


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## charish (Jan 30, 2007)

yes, i've been there, actually they either just grow on you or there personality changes everything. just like if someone very good looking has a bad attitude or personality, it can make them so unattractive.


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## Saje (Jan 30, 2007)

Thats what Ive been trying to say. You can insist all you want that oh I can never fall in love with a guy who I dont find attractive and its true to a degree. But your level and perception of what is attractive changes because of alot of factors (personality being the biggest - other factors can even include style and fashion).

So its totally possible to fall for someone you didnt find physically attractive at first... key words being at first.


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## girl_geek (Jan 31, 2007)

I wasn't that physically attracted to my ex, but he was nicest guy I had ever known and made me feel so special that I soon was attracted to him, at least emotionally! Even though we dated for almost a year, we never got very physical (we were waiting til marriage) so I don't know how physically attracted I would have been to him if we had gotten married. But after a while, it became clear that even though he was a great guy, our personalities and interests clashed too much for us to be happy in the long-term.

I can see both points in this argument ... personality *should* be most important, but realistically, there needs to be at least a little physical attraction, at least if you are going to have any sort of sex life. But you also have to keep in mind that if you get married or otherwise commit for the long term, what happens when appearances change? So I think it's also important that you love your SO enough that you will still love him if he gains or loses weight, goes grey or bald, or perhaps even worse like experiencing scarring or deformities from an accident ...

Basically, I think physical attraction can be the main attraction at the beginning of the relationship, but eventually you have to develop something deeper  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" /> Or if you have no physical attraction at the beginning, then as you develop emotional and spiritual attractions, the physical should follow!


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## pinksugar (Jan 31, 2007)

haha, I'm going to answer 'yes'.

My current boyfriend and I met through a friend, and we talked on the internet before we met each other. When I saw a photo, I thought, 'he's alright, but he's not oh my god hot'

but the more I talked to him, the more I wanted to be with him. He's just so similar to me, and he's just awesome. I think there has to be some "50-50" ness about it.. I'm not sure if it would work if you find him actively repellant, but as for the 'meh' feeling, I'm a prime example - I love him so much, and a lot of that is based on his personality (even though now I find him totally hott  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />)


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## Angie2006 (Feb 1, 2007)

In my case...it's not that I didn't find him attractive....just not to the point of "OH MY GOODNESS, check him out!" He was just another guy. It's actually kind of funny cause he is some sort of hero where he works and there was all this talk about him and when I worked with him one day I was thinking "This is just a regular guy, what the heck is the big deal?!" So, maybe that haf something to do with the lack of immediate attention to his looks. I can say tho...it is odd because he's not someone I would have persued and now I think about him all the dang time.


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## SwtValina (Feb 1, 2007)

Personality makes or breaks a guy. The guy I have currently fallen for I knew for like 7 months before I even looked at him in "that way". The more I get to know him, the more attractive he becomes


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## pinksugar (Feb 1, 2007)

well the reason I didn't really find my current bf attractive when I first met him is that he looked disturbingly like my most long-term ex, who I thought wass hot. But because of my ex's PERSONALITY, lol, I was worried that my current boyfriend would be a jerk. So I guess it wasn't so much that he was ugly, or I found him unattractive, more that he looked like someone I don't like very much, hahaha.

So in regards to the passion question, yes, we're passionate, and I think he's sexy. But, that opens up the whole new topic of whether someone you don't find that attractive can be sexy just because they're good in bed. I find my boyfriend physically attractive, but I find him even moreso because he's good in bed too heehee  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />


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## La_Mari (Mar 10, 2007)

I never really looked at my DH in the face when we met, and then when he asked me out I was like "Why not?" Then he cut his hair and shaved for the military and came home and OMG :icon_eek:

:inlove3:

:7b:

:SHOCKED:

AaoOoOoOoOgaaaah! JK, I couldn't believe that under that facial hair, there he was, cuter than I even knew! It only took me like a year :12:

EDIT: I was already in love with him I just didn't think he was hot cause I never really _looked_ at him.


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## TheJadedDiary (Mar 10, 2007)

I sometimes randomly develop major crushes on boys i don't particularly find that attractive but i don't know.. There's always just something about them that makes me 'swoon'.

And after a while i tend to find stuff about the way they look really attractive too.


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## Gvieve (Mar 10, 2007)

Yes.


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## MissMissy (Mar 10, 2007)

Well iw ill be honest the guy i am with now i would have never give a second look at before but for some reason somthing attracted me to him said get to know him.. i did and what ya know i have been together 4 years and getting married next summer!!


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## Ashley (Mar 10, 2007)

I definitely think so.

Sometimes that's when you realize that you're falling in love--when the once not-so-attractive-guy becomes cute in your eyes.


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## CellyCell (Mar 11, 2007)

Yeah. I have - a guy who in person I prolly wouldn't take a 2nd glance at.

But his personality meshed well with mine. We fell out months ago, but I'm with my current BF and I still can't get over the other guy. And my current BF is much more attractive. Iono. Weird. But I do love my current BF - so hope all goes well now.


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## Shanelle (Mar 11, 2007)

"The more you get to know a person,

the more attractive they become to you.

Because everything beautiful you see on

the inside of them, suddenly you're able

to see on the outside of them too."


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## adrianavanessa (Sep 14, 2007)

oh, yes, it is!


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## Nastka (Sep 19, 2007)

I think that entirely depends if you fall for a person because he's attractive on the outside, or the inside, and furthermore how it develops.

I can tell you a story about my last and current 'interest'  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

My current object of pursuit if I may call it that way is probably one of the most beautiful men I've ever seen. Just a jaw dropper. Beautiful features. Slim, deep blue eyes, dark hair, olive skin. That alone was enough to feel myself drawn to him. And after our first date, it turned out that he also had a fine personality, great sense of humour and so on. I'm not that connected to him emotionally, though. It simply doesn't 'click' that much between us two. At least yet.

My last 'significant other' on the other hand wasn't my type at all, at least when it came to looks. Slightly overweight, balding, blond, a nose like a potato, much taller and older than I am. A few weeks after we first met we talked for the first time for more than just five minutes. In fact, we spent the whole night, just talking. It 'clicked' instantly. Great personality, sense of humour, intelligence... and THEN I started to notice all the little things that made him attractive: The baby-blue eyes, wide, muscular shoulders and arms, beautiful hands, long legs and a firm,... uhm,... behind. I don't think I'll ever had a more emotionally satisfying and closer relationship in my life. But, alas, when it came to an end it hurt a lot.

I think there must be a line to define people. They're simply 'eye-candy', beautiful, or perhaps in rare cases both.


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## puncturedskirt (Sep 19, 2007)

I'm sure it's possible but for myself, I couldn't be with someone i wasn't physically attracted to.


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## flychick767 (Sep 21, 2007)

Yes, there is much more to relationships than just great looks.


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## gracie-xx (Sep 26, 2007)

it really realy is, i was friends with a guy who I didn't find attractive at all but the closer we got the more I became attracted to him. Not quite sure how it works but as has been said alreay..where emotions are concerned anythings possible!


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## SqueeKee (Sep 26, 2007)

Definitely possible!


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## jakebabe (Sep 26, 2007)

I married one who I was not strongly physically attracted to and we have been married 30 years! Love and attraction grow with time and experiences shared. Also remember love and lust are totally different!


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## BlueLagoon (Sep 26, 2007)

I think it is possible...

The most important... to love each other...and accept our weakness...

The real love for me doesnt mean physically attractive...but atractive inside...


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## JennyMcL (Sep 26, 2007)

For me personally when I connect with somebody or just think a person is great my eye starts to really focus on the good parts where if I don't like somebody I will find whatever physical flaws they have and they will become huge to me. I remember I had a long distance relationship with a girl my freshman year of college and I met another girl who wasn't hot by any means, but looked kind of like the girl I was dating. I thought she was the hottest girl on the campus simply because she did look like somebody I really cared for.


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## kisska3000 (Sep 27, 2007)

i married that person. when i met husband at first i didn't like him and then when i learned more about him we just clicked. i just know that he is a best guy that i have dated and he treated me like i any women should be treated.


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