# I NEVER rant, but this time i swear i have to!



## daer0n (Jan 15, 2008)

Well, i think this might be probably my second rant, after being a member of MUT for probably two years.

The situation is this, at the moment i am doing all my paperwork for my permanent residence in Canada, which has taken me FOREVER to be able to do, some of you might know already of this situation and how its been taking me forever to be done with it.

My parents have been taking care of my oldest son, who is 10 years old, still in school, they all live in Mexico, i left my son there so that he could finish school before coming here, and well the story is LONG! But to make it short, ive been sending them money all this time, he's been with them for almost three years now, its been hard for us to be able to support ourselves and him being down there, so we send money whenever we can for his school and all his needs.

Well, we sent some money about two weeks ago, so that my parents could get part of his paperwork done for his permanent residence card, since he got his application sent a month ago, they had to go and get his passport so that they could provide immigration Canada his passport number and all. My sister, who is 25 years old, got sick with some sort of virus in her uterus, supposedly she has to get surgery to remove malicious tissue that could cause her cancer, i didnt know that my parents used ALL the money that we sent them to get some biopsy done for her, and to also try to pay for her surgery. This isnt fair, she's got her fiancee who told her couldnt afford to loan her money for the biopsy and the surgery so my parents used all the money that i sent them for my son's paperwork instead, [And they are planning on getting married in february this year] and now they wont be able to pay for any of my son's stuff, school, and passport and some medical tests that he also needs.

And now my sister is blaming it on us that she can't have the surgery because, i told them that they only had a certain ammount of time to send my son's paperwork back to immigration Canada, so now they will HAVE to get that money back somehow, to be able to send everything back, but they wont be able to help her with the surgery and all that, i am aware that it is serious, that she needs to get that surgery done, but, it isnt my fault that she isnt working, that she sat for a good year and a half in front of the computer to play online games with her fiancee instead of planning her future in a better way and now they don't have any money for anything, my husband can't support her, and my parents, my son and on top of everything afford paying for her treatments and surgeries, she isnt our responsability, i might sound too harsh, but ive been waiting to have my son with me for almost three years and now this.

I am very pissed, frustrated, sad, i can't even say how much i am, i was in tears typing this. I am sorry if i didnt make any sense but i swear i am SO MAD!

Thanks to all the ones that read the long book i just wrote -sigh- i always keep it all to myself but all i feel like doing right now is crying in frustration, i need a hug


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## -Liz- (Jan 15, 2008)

oh Nury, im so sorry to hear this i had no idea, i guess this is why you weren't around.

I don't have any words of advice but i do want to offer you a biiig hug and a shoulder to cry on!!! Have hope and faith in God, it will work out *hugs*


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## Kathy (Jan 15, 2008)

Awwww...I'm sorry you're having all that trouble Nury. I cannot imagine being separated from my child for that long! And to then have your family spend the money you send them for him on an irresponsible sister! I'd be upset too! I wish I could give you some constructive advice, but I don't know what to say! It sounds like a difficult situation and I know how helpless you must feel! You, your son and the rest of your family are in my thoughts! {{hugs}}


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## MsCuppyCakes (Jan 15, 2008)




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## Aquilah (Jan 15, 2008)

OMG! Nuri, I'm so sorry sweetie! I didn't know all of that was going on! I wish I could say something, but I really can't think of anything "proper" to say! Just know, if you ever need someone to talk to, find me on MSN!


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## mandy_ (Jan 15, 2008)

I'm very sorry that this is all happening. I think it's really rude of your parents to just..use your money for things other than what it was intended. Hopefully things work out so that you can have your son back with you soon. -hugs-


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## KellyB (Jan 15, 2008)

It sounds like you have every reason to be upset and I'm sorry you are going through it. We are here to listen anytime though I wish I had some great words of wisdom for you. {{{{hug}}}}


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## daer0n (Jan 15, 2008)

Thank you very much everyone, i really appreciate you guys reading through, and all your words, they really helped! *hugs back*


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## Annia (Jan 15, 2008)

Don't they have programs that help pay for medical needs? Maybe your sister can apply for that. There should be a lot of woman's health awareness programs too, that help for screenings/biopsies etc.

I would ask that they be more responsible and look for other resources first; I mean just because your money was available and easy to access doesn't mean they should have used it as there first option.

I am sorry to hear of your troubles and hopefully it turns out well. *hugs*


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## Sonia_K (Jan 15, 2008)

I'm so sorry for what your going through. I can't imagine being seperated from my kids for any amount of time. It must be so hard for you. It sounds like your sister is taking advantage of you and I think your parents should have at least asked you before giving up the money for her medical expenses. Big Hug to you..Hope everything gets better soon.


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## Ashley (Jan 15, 2008)

That is such a terrible situation. I understand how your parents feel and how they must be torn. I also understand how you and your husband feel, as it is definitely not your responsibility. I don't understand how your sister can be upset with you! She and her fiancee are just going to need to take out a loan or do something! They need to worry about this situation before they can get married.

I hope you and your son are reunited soon!


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## magosienne (Jan 15, 2008)

that is an awful situation, yes, but you're not responsible for your sister ! i don't understand : how can she even plan a mariage if she doesn't have any money? i understand your parents must be torn, but it doesn't justify their use of the money you gave them for a specific reason. please rant any time you feel like it, and big hugs to you.


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## Solimar (Jan 15, 2008)

While I understand that your sister needs the surgery, I think your family could have gone about getting her the help she needs without taking all the money that was intended for your son. That is incredibly selfish and thoughtless, and it involves a child -- so the child should always be a huge priority. Kids can't do certain things for themselves, and it's up to those older than them to do so. It's too bad that some of the people who you would trust the most turn out to be the ones to disappoint you the most.

I'm sorry for everything, but I am definitely praying that your son is back home where he belongs soon.


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## speedy (Jan 15, 2008)

Awww, I'm sending you big hugs



, you have every reason to be upset. It's not fair that your parents did this without discussing it with you, and it's unreasonable of your sister to expect you to pay for her surgery.

I hope it all works out soon.


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## S. Lisa Smith (Jan 15, 2008)

I agree, it was a bad thing that your parents did. They must have felt that this was the only way your sister could get the treatment, but it doesn't make it right. The BF should have been more helpful! If it came to it she should have sold her computer (and her other stuff) to raise some cash. We are here for you and hope eveyhing turns out alright!


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## Shelley (Jan 15, 2008)

I'm so sorry you are going through this Nuri. I don't blame you for feeling upset and angry. Were here for you.



If you need to talk please feel free to pm me. Hugs to you.


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## PRETTYSECRETS21 (Jan 15, 2008)

You aren't being harsh,IMO, you have a right to be upset.


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## cherryblossom13 (Jan 16, 2008)

Aww I'm sorry! Thats a shame......You have every right to be upset! That $$ was for your 10 year old son!!!!!! It's not like he can go out himself and get a job to pay for everything. It's not fair for him.

I feel bad that your sister is sick, but they are all adults. They can find another way instead of depriving him.


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## daer0n (Jan 16, 2008)

-sigh- Thanks guys, it makes me even more upset that she tries to make me feel guilty of it, when she should think that, she is a grown woman, she can go out and get a job, and stop sitting there all day in front of the computer pittying herself, and blaming others for stuff that happens to her, she should hold herself responsible for her own life, and stop depending on my parents since she is also going to get married soon.


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## Bexy (Jan 16, 2008)

I wish I knew what to say to make everything alright. Please take care and know that I am thinking about you. ((((((HUGS)))))))


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## puncturedskirt (Jan 16, 2008)

That really sucks and I don't blame you for being upset and your sister is a piece of work for actually being mad at YOU.

I really hope things work out better for you and that you get your son back soon.


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## Aquilah (Jan 16, 2008)

Originally Posted by *daer0n* /img/forum/go_quote.gif -sigh- Thanks guys, it makes me even more upset that she tries to make me feel guilty of it, when she should think that, she is a grown woman, she can go out and get a job, and stop sitting there all day in front of the computer pittying herself, and blaming others for stuff that happens to her, she should hold herself responsible for her own life, and stop depending on my parents since she is also going to get married soon. So very, very true! I seriously just can't believe your parents used the money for your son on her! I mean, that's just insane! I hope it all works out with your son, all of the residency paperwork, and yes, even your sister (cause it sounds like she needs help in more ways than one - no offense!).


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## bella1342 (Jan 16, 2008)

Nury, don't let anyone make you feel guilty at all. I understand the situation could become serious for your sister, but if her fiance truly loves her... he'll find a way to loan her the money. She isn't your responsibilty. She should be upset at her fiance (I know if I were in this situation i would be) for not giving her the money. He has to have some way of getting money... in desperate measures I know I'd be able to come up with some money if I needed it. I don't have any savings either....

One of them need to get another job... something.

I hope you get your son soon! I know it must hurt, when you think about how much you miss him. That's because you're a great mommy.

::Hugs::


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## daer0n (Jan 16, 2008)

*Bexy*, no worries!, your hugs sure help a lot too, thank you!





*Patricia*, yes she is a real piece of work, she's so selfish you wouldn't even believe, if i ranted about her the rant forum would probably crash :s

*Aquilah*,Thank you! and no offense taken at all! if there is something that i like is honesty, and to tell you the truth my sister DOES need help in many many ways you don't even imagine, if i only told you stories about her, you wouldn't believe she's my sister


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## glitter_vertigo (Jan 16, 2008)

How awful... I'm so sorry and I hope everything works out for you. I'm sorry I have no good advice. *hugs*


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## Jessica (Jan 16, 2008)

I am so sorry Nuri that you're going through this. I cannot believe that her future husband cant help her out financialy with the surgery....whats up with that??? He cannot afford to "loan" her the money? This is her soon to be hubby who shouldnt have to loan her money for the surgery but rather give it to her. He should be doing everything possible to try to help her out through this. She must also start taking responsibility to help herself out and provide for herself what is neccessary to be well.

Hugs sweetie pie!!


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## CellyCell (Jan 17, 2008)

Damn, that's something. Sorry that had to happen, Nury love! :/

But it's so true, no matter what she has - first thing first was to get your own son's stuff in order. It obvious if you had the money, there would be no problems - but to have Lumber Jack (hehe) carry all the burden of paying for this and that and your sister not looking at it from your point of view is BS. I hate when folks with no jobs point their money problems on someone else... puh-lease, anyone and their grandma-ma can work if need be. Now, it sucks she's going through that and I guess if it were something fatal - then money is no object. But there was no possibility of pushing back surgery or have someone else pay for her?

Your parents messed up though with giving her the money without consulting you. And not thinking about what might happen with your son's future and needs. Pfft... hopefully everything will come to a good resolution.


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## Jessica (Jan 17, 2008)

> Your parents messed up though with giving her the money without consulting you. And not thinking about what might happen with your son's future and needs.quote]
> 
> I agree!!!


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## jandi (Jan 20, 2008)

I am sorry to hear that. They should have checked with you first before using the money.

On an unrelated thing, I am also from Mexico and currently living in Canada. I know that healthcare can be quite expensive. IMSS could be an option.

Best luck! Hope everything works out with residency stuff, I will be dealing with that soon - hopefully!


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