# Why?????



## Talisa (Sep 14, 2008)

no offense whatsoever to the non-black women here but....

ok so heres the deal

i really need everyone's advice on this one

my bf of about 6 months (friend for a yr) i just found out has been seein a white gurl on the side n got her pregnant. i confront the biatch about it cuz i heard frm sumone else that they were together but i just could NOT bring myself to believe it. then i get a msg from her confirmin my worst fears not only is he seein her but she says she's pregnant with his child. then proceeds to tell me that shes known him longer than i have n that all he ever says about me is that im some crazy girl whos stuck on him. fyi my bf ( well clearly EX bf now) is away @ college in north carolina n we decided to make things work since id b in the u.s for college myself next yr. i try my damnest to contact him cuz im like nooo this is a bad dream n im gonna wake up this is NOT happening. n of course homeboy cant b reached for the life of him. no emails, calls, nuthinn...so of course its crystal clear to me that our relationship is OVER but i just cannot begin to understand how it could happen like this n he;s not denying a thing which shows me that its all true. no talisa ur not bein punked, ashton is not gonna jump out from behind sum camera.........

WHY do black men do this?


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## Sirvinya (Sep 14, 2008)

*hugs*

It's got nothing to do with race, one of my exes did exactly the same to me.

I think now you've just got to focus on yourself, you've got college to be getting on with. Good luck with that.


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## Talisa (Sep 14, 2008)

thnk ya yes i agree n im sry u had to go thru the same thing.

right now im just tryna keep college on the brain 24/7


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## pinksugar (Sep 15, 2008)

haha, I agree with Becky. It's not a black thing, it's a man thing. Sigh.

I'm really sorry that this happened. On the plus side, you realised sooner rather than later that he's a complete d*** and can move on, before you had kids or a house or anything like that with him yourself. These kind of experiences help shape the kind of relationship we want for ourselves in the future - before you know it you'll be with someone who respects you, and who would never, ever do that.

Many hugs chicken, men are as$holes


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## Darla (Sep 15, 2008)

hey there's good and bad with guys and girls.

Did this other girl even know about you? If she didn't then it's probably not her fault and no need to get down on her. Your BF sounds like bit of a loser and the fact he should be gone is not a bad thing. Pity the poor other girl who has to deal with the pregnancy.


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## Anthea (Sep 15, 2008)

I agree with Darla, not all men cheat, unfortunately there are all sorts of people who do, black &amp; white, male and female.

Your ex boyfriend is a cheating A****** and your better off without him. Be thankful you found out sooner than later and you will soon meet someone who won't do that to you.

I am sorry you have had to go though it and hope you can move on very soon.


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## SimplyElegant (Sep 15, 2008)

I agree, I don't think it's a race thing or a man thing, but a people thing.

Anyway, I think this other girl is mostly innocent (except for the way she treated you when you confronted her), because your ex could have told her no and not cheated on you and got her pregnant. I think you made the right decision to dump this guy. You can find someone better.


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## Johnnie (Sep 15, 2008)

Originally Posted by *Darla_G* /img/forum/go_quote.gif hey there's good and bad with guys and girls. 
Did this other girl even know about you? If she didn't then it's probably not her fault and no need to get down on her. Your BF sounds like bit of a loser and the fact he should be gone is not a bad thing. Pity the poor other girl who has to deal with the pregnancy.




and it's not just a guy thing.


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## vesna (Sep 15, 2008)

I agree with what the others said that it has nothing to do with him being black. Plenty of guys and girls of all races can act like idiots and treat their partners like that. As much as it might hurt you should be glad that you found out. You can move on now and find someone who will treat you right. That's far better than being with him and having him continue to play you like that behind your back.

The other girl has to deal with that now and a baby to top it off. At least it's not you left in that situation. What he did to you is awful but at least you don't have to deal with it anymore.


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## pinksugar (Sep 15, 2008)

lol, Vesna, I totally agree.

(and I was only kidding about it being only a guy thing)


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## S. Lisa Smith (Sep 15, 2008)

You are the lucky one. I feel bad for the girl who will have to raise their baby. Move on and move up!


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## magneticheart (Sep 15, 2008)

It's not just a men thing or a race thing unfortunatley.

Sorry, that this has happened to you





But, I guess it's better to know now than in 6 years. You've more than likely had a lucky escape.

Concentrate on yourself and college from now on. Hugs!


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## Adrienne (Sep 15, 2008)

I wouldn't say this is a race thing but I think men like that can only be categorized in one word: Garbage.


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## nanzmck (Sep 15, 2008)

well it shouldn't be about race, but there is a stigma associated with the racial difference here. although i am not black, i am native american, and it's kind of a thing when someone's man leaves her for a white girl.

im not condoning this, i am 100% not racist, but i just want you guys to know that there is this _"thing"_ about it.

that being said, i feel for you immensely! not only was your man cheating on you, but he was having UNPROTECTED sex with her. i can only hope an unplanned pregnancy is the worst thing that comes of this.

focus on yourself, you will feel better eventually and then realize you're better off.





edit: i'm sorry if this is offensive to anyone, that is not my intention! i just wanted the OP to know that i know what she's talking about.


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## Dragonfly (Sep 15, 2008)

I live in a predominantly white community. I'm was quite surprised when you concluded with Black guys being deceptive. Believe me, I have met many white guys that were the very same - or certainly were capable of being complete a-holes.

Sorry to hear this happened to you. In time you will feel like dating again. Just get to know the next guy really well before you get involved. And as soon as you see one red flag, its time to bail.

Best of luck with your studies.


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## Talisa (Sep 16, 2008)

thnx ladies


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## michixboo (Sep 16, 2008)

It drives me crazy if a guy does something and then goes "missing."

I wish the best for you!

xo; Michelle


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## Talisa (Sep 17, 2008)

drives me crazy as well..


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## SqueeKee (Sep 18, 2008)

Aww



What a jerk, I can't imaging what you must be going through right now



I don't know what I would do in your shoes . . . *hugs*

It's probably not much of a comfort when your heart just got ripped out but at least you're not the one who's knocked up . . . he's HER problem now and he sounds like the kind of guy I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. &gt;.&lt;


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