# If your friend dresses totally trashy...



## Momo (Feb 19, 2007)

what do you do?

Okay- let me explain. I have a friend who attracts all the wrong attention with her clothes and makeup. Last time we went to the city, several men in different neighborhoods thought she was a prostitute! I don't think she realizes the danger in it, and I think she likes the attention because she's hasn't really had a guy in her life. It's not like I'm trying to stop her from having a boyfriend- I just want to help her find a quality one. I want to say I don't mind her being sexy if she does it right, but she's only 16.

Everywhere we go it's a full face, high heel pumps, and cheap garish prints possibly paired with a corset. She's only 16! Even her grandma said she looked like a streetwalker.


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## sarahgr (Feb 19, 2007)

If I were you i would tell her in a constructive way and try to help her with a new "style"..go clothes shopping with her and teach her how to put on makeup correctly...and btw...where the hell are her parents???...if she is only 16 she shouldnt be wearing that kind of stuff and walking around in the city imo!

She definately isn't going to find a nice guy looking like a slut...it would be more likely that she'd end up getting raped...


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## emily_3383 (Feb 19, 2007)

I would flat out tell her. I would also tell her that its very dangerous and that i wouldnt go out with her looking like that. It not only puts her in danger but you as well.


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## Dragonfly (Feb 19, 2007)

I would have a serious heart to heart and let her know that she is dressing and wearing makeup highly inappropriately.

A lot of young women, that have not been treated well by father figures, tend to look for innapropriate attention. Or they are desperate for any kind of attention and affection, even if it is unhealthy.

If she falls into that category, you need to do things with her that will boost her self esteem, confidence and self-worth. The more she feels good about herself, the more she will chose more appropriate clothing and makeup.


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## jessimau (Feb 19, 2007)

I think the best thing to do is sit her down and explain to her, honestly, your concerns. Let her know how dangerous it can be and that while women *should* be able to wear whatever they want and not be in danger, the reality is FAR from that. High-heeled pumps aren't necessarily the problem, but it sounds like what she wears with them is. I say that b/c I wore heels almost exclusively in HS and no amount of conversation would've convinced me different. If she insists on showing skin, show her how to do it in a classier way -- toned-down makeup, short skirt with covered-up arms, something like that. If all else fails, write to one of those makeover shows for help!


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## Momo (Feb 19, 2007)

true.

She's also one of those people who can NOT take criticism. It's also difficult because naturally she has a very ample bust. Not her fault, but things don't fit her right (hems are lifted higher, exaggerated cleavage). The thing is, she doesn't do much to deal with it. I don't think I can get her to buy new quality clothes that fit her because sometimes she can also be described as... "cheap".

and as far as her mom- well, I told you about the male figures in my friends' life. Her mom had to go through the same thing. She's a very passive person in result.


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## jessimau (Feb 19, 2007)

If she can't take criticism and is pretty passive, then I think framing the discussion as about her safety would definitely help the message go down better. Also, Target's got some really great, really cute clothing that's relatively inexpensive, IMO. Some of my cutest outfits I buy there.

Like I said, if all else fails, write in to "What Not to Wear" or "Tyra" or something -- get help from outsiders. Good luck if you do sit her down.


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## han (Feb 19, 2007)

:dito:


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## CandyApple (Feb 19, 2007)

I had the same problem with a friend that dressed like a hoochie mama. Boobs always hanging out, alot of midriff showing, trashy makeup look. I made a couple of suggestions, but she never took my advice. It was so bad it was getting quite embarassing to go out with her!! I could never change her ways!! So I don't know any good advice, all I can say is that you can only try so much!


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## Momo (Feb 19, 2007)

I'm not sure if a tv show would be a good idea. I mean, she has a thing about strangers knowing things about her. But you never know. She's not quite as bad as some of the people I've seen on shows like that... Maybe they could help her talk out her problems. After all she might be compelled to talk about it when in front of a lot of people.

I also meant to say that her mom is passive and that's why she can get away with a lot of the things that she does.


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## Killah Kitty (Mar 5, 2007)

I think self esteem is all she needs, and it can take time.

I'll speak from personal experience even tho I dont like to think about it, but a couple years ago I switched high schools and I had like no one in my life to talk to and my self esteem just crashed lol I remember wearing absolute full face of makeup everyday always perfect, and the hottest jeans, tighest shirts, you get the picture lol. I have shirts in my closet from that time which I have not worn since :sleepyhead: lol.

But over time I found new friends, interests, got a guy in my life for serious lol, and now I am happily much more normal  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" /> lol.

I hope the best for your friend!! Take her shoppin, listen to her problems, and help her confidence I think is the most, and best, you can do for her. At least I didnt have an ample chest problem :brsh:hehe! GOOD LUCK! Sory for long reply!


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## magosienne (Mar 5, 2007)

i agree self esteem is what she needs. can you organise a girl shopping day? just so she can learn she can be sexy without wearing these clothes ( a corset? is she even aware a corset can be dangerous?). i think that's the best way to explain her.


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## StrangerNMist (Mar 6, 2007)

You need to let her know that dressing like that is going to attract the wrong kind of attention. Ask her if that's the kind of attention she's looking for, and if it is, ask her if she feels that she's mature enough to handle that kind of attention - especially if she's never been with a guy before.

I agree that she's not going to attract a decent guy with that kind of get up...

I agree with the other posters that it would be a good idea to boost her self-esteem. Show her how good she can look (and feel) in properly applied makeup and clothes that flatter her figure.


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## Nox (Mar 6, 2007)

Be a good friend and continue setting an example for her. Perhaps on her birthday, you might buy her a very cute outfit that is still trendy for a teenager without letting everything hang out. Not all the hot trends are totally revealing.

This might sound like trite advice, but maybe you and her should spend some time just looking at some fashion magazines and just oogle the couture. You'll notice that they tend to stay a bit conservative with the whole skin show. Elle, Cosmo Girl, even Vogue. They have all kinds of things in there that show people how to really dress like a lady.

And also, let her know the Lady's Cardinal Rule: _If you show a lot of leg on the bottom, keep it covered on top. And vice-versa._


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## bluebird26 (Mar 6, 2007)

I just wanted to tell you good luck, lol because last time I tried to do that, I just got the answer "No, I think I look hot" , lol I hope your friend doesn't have an attitude  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />


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## Sirvinya (Mar 6, 2007)

If her self esteem is the problem then telling her she dresses wrong isn't going to help.

How about a girls night in watching something like "What not to wear" then go shopping, and pretend it's for you. Then you can pick out some stuff for her and tell her how gorgeous she looks in what you picked.


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## MissMudPie (Mar 6, 2007)

I think she needs some attention for something other than her looks. Is she smart? Does she have any athletic/musical/artistic talents? I don't think it will work to take away that negative attention that she craves without replacing it with more positive attention. Plus, she needs to know that she is loved and valued for many things other than her looks.

As far as changing the way she dresses... nobody could ever tell me how to dress, I just had to grow of it. But when my great-grandmother wanted to tell me something, she put a book or magazine in the bathroom next to the toilet so I would read it.  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" /> Maybe you could try that with fashion magazines or catalogs?


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## CellyCell (Mar 6, 2007)

I'd be blunt with her. That's how I'll be with my friends - if I don't like what she's wearing and it's not right, for her sake - I'll save her all that trouble and tell her.

Luckily, I don't have friends like that - but if they pick out something I don't like, just be blunt and help them pick out something you can both agree on.


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## jdepp_84 (Mar 6, 2007)

I agree, just tell her straight out. And make sure she knows its mainly for her safety.


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