# Finding Strength



## Lucy (Oct 30, 2010)

So guys I've been kinda AWOL for the last few months I know.. a whole lotta stuff has happened. I'm feeling really lack-lustre and wondering if any of you guys have felt the same in part of your life.

I quit the part time job in a shop that I got straight after graduating, they weren't paying me enough money to make it worth travelling there and back (it was hard to get to on public transport) and I hated relying on my parents for lifts. I also got really sick of working weekends, a lot of my friends have mon to fri 9-5 jobs now and it meant I hardly had a social life.

I also went straight from breaking off my long term relationship, into another relationship, which has since ended. This last relationship was with a guy who I've known for a long time, always known to be bad news, and _guess what_, he turned out to be bad news! Lol. I'm honestly ok with it though, I've been feeling un-motivated and down since before that ended, and it was totally expected. It's not played a part in the problem- just keeping you guys up to date!

Aaaanyway. I feel like loads of stuff has just happened. A lot of changes in my life in a very short period of time. And now it's all stopped happening, and I need to start rebuilding myself. I'm a really strong person but I'm kinda struggling to motivate myself right now. I know I need to get on top of my game and start looking for real, full time jobs, hobbies, things to do- but I'm sort of lacking in... I don't know, va-va-voom! I need to get my mojo back. I miss my uni friends a lot and it feels like the friends I have here in my hometown aren't as close to me, so I'm a bit lonely. I want to get out there and meet new friends and do new things but I don't really know where to start.

Anyone been through crap patches in their life and picked themselves out of it? Does anyone have any words of advice in general?


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## Geek (Oct 30, 2010)

Hi Lucy,

Welcome back.

Do a a new intro thread and you can be in the running for a gift basket, see this here


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## internetchick (Oct 30, 2010)

(((hugs)))

For me I just have to go through the motions, and eventually my mind and emotions catch up. You have been through quite a few changes, so it is understandable to feel the way you do. You may not be as close to the friends near you now, but if they are still friends then maybe this is a great time to reconnect?


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## Shelley (Oct 30, 2010)

Hi Lucy! Nice to see you back






I've been through crap patches in my life and felt the same way as you. One day I woke up and realized I had to do something even though I did not have the energy. I started going for walks in the morning (exercise is a good stress reliever) and thought about what I need to do.

At my local library I found brochures on mini classes you can take. Such as learning a new craft, photography etc. The classes were reasonable in price. Finding a new hobby helped me meet new people in class. Another idea is volunteering at something your interested in. Sometimes that can lead into a payed job at the place your volunteering or give you more experience to add to your resume while looking for work.

I hope this helped. Were here for you!


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## Dragonfly (Oct 31, 2010)

HI Lucy.

Sorry to hear you've had a rough go of things.

Take heart - what goes down always rises again!

I totally agree with Shelley about volunteering - I just started another volunteering gig with another hospital.

In my community, courses are offered through "parks and recreation" department - very affordable.

As well, the library has fun craft courses to take.

Take care honey


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## Lucy (Oct 31, 2010)

thanks guys. i'm still getting used to the new MUT, not sure how to thank your posts individually! lol

i do have some friends here just not as many as i had at uni. but i guess i've been neglecting socialising so much and meeting new people because of the relationships i've been in, so that's something i can work on a lot better now.

i've been looking into volunteering but not found anywhere nearby or that doesn't want a super long commitment (some want a year to 6 months!) and if i'm looking for paid work i can't be that committed really. fingers crossed i get a job soon i guess.

i have this one side of me that is really positive and happy that i'm _finally_ single (something i've really really wanted for a while) and can start doing things for just me. and this other side of me that is just a bit down all the time and keeps looking at the negative and going "omg you have no job and no boyfriend and hardly any friends". LOL. i suppose i have to find a way to focus more on the positive. it's just tough being independent and strong when i've literally not been by myself (as in single) for almost four years. (and i'm 21, how messed up is that? lol)


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## Sexy Sadie (Nov 1, 2010)

But then it is very important that you learn it.


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## Shelley (Nov 5, 2010)

Hi Lucy!

How are things? We miss you around here. Please update us.


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## shyiskrazy2 (Nov 6, 2010)

Welcome back, Lucy!!!!  It's a good turning point in your life to re-assess your priorities (which it sounds like you are doing) and spend time on you, figuring out what you want and focus on making improvements and self-discovery.  Being in a relationship can take away from the time you spend on yourself and your interests and happiness.  You are still young and beautiful so have fun exploring new things and remembering the old, comfortable things that you adore.  Time is money and people work their whole lives to make Euros or dollars without getting the time to do what they really enjoy.  So keep on keepin' on!  The world is your oyster.


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