# Should I Tell Her?



## CellyCell (Dec 31, 2007)

Okay, so like- I'm "friends" with my ex and whatever and I knew all his friends before I knew him... that's how we met. Now, our relationship is fine - friends - but I don't trust him at all and we never flirt or anything like that. He has his girlfriend and would never cross that line even when given the chance. I never told him that but you can't trust a liar is my motto. He basically only has me to rely on besides his own girlfriend despite our distant. He knows I will always be there for him regardless of our past... I'm not the type to let go of someone no matter how much they hurt me.

Now, my dilemma is this. Our mutual friend had just told me my ex cheated on his current girlfriend. He kissed another girl about a month ago and they were texting back and forth to each other and he got caught texting the other girl. They (him and his current GF) broke for some days but are now together again. This breakup happened during Christmas. She supposedly only knows of this flirtatious texting but does not know of him kissing the other girl. My ex said he learnt his lesson and doesn't want to break up with her again blah blah. But now that I know this extra info - I feel like she needs to know.

I'm not here to break up their relationship but since he did that to me in our relationship, I had wish his friend told me the truth instead of finding out much later. I have nothing to gain in this... I honestly don't like the girl much because she assumed I was talking bad about her and was telling my ex to stop speaking to me when I never did and never encouraged them to break it off. But because I don't like her doesn't mean I don't want them together. I just really wish he changed his ways... but this is like, the 3rd relationship he's done something wrong in.

What would you do?

Should I tell her or just keep my business to myself?

Oh, and the thing is - *I will not be the one to tell her*. Haha. It's another person that knows her...

...because I'm not dumb enough to tell her myself for that reason, her thinking I'm trying to break them up. Confusing I know.

If it were up to me - I'd keep my mouth shut and talk to him about it.


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## mahreez (Dec 31, 2007)

even thought you have good intentions, she'd probably think that you have another motive for saying that. she might not believe everything that you said. if i were you, i'd just tell her, if she asks me. but i really wouldn't make the first move or approach her.


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## alexxx! (Dec 31, 2007)

if i was in your situation i think i'd keep it to myself. it seems like the right thing to do would be to tell her, but she might come off with the idea that you're trying to break them up. plus if you don't even like her, i'd just let her learn it for herself.


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## Saja (Dec 31, 2007)

Its not your place to say anything.....Id stay out of it.


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## Saja (Dec 31, 2007)

Unless this girl is your good friend , it would just be inviting drama...I would stay clear.


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## flutterbug (Dec 31, 2007)

I would be afraid it would cause problems between you two you may regret later. I wouldn't if it was me. Unless i was really tight with the girl.


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## Aprill (Dec 31, 2007)

Originally Posted by *Saja* /img/forum/go_quote.gif Unless this girl is your good friend , it would just be inviting drama...I would stay clear. ditto


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## Kookie-for-COCO (Dec 31, 2007)

Not a word--steer clear. You will be caught in the middle.


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## S. Lisa Smith (Dec 31, 2007)

Originally Posted by *Kookie-for-COCO* /img/forum/go_quote.gif Not a word--steer clear. You will be caught in the middle.


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## CellyCell (Dec 31, 2007)

Okay. I'll tell her not to say a thing. My ex doesn't even know that I know... that bastard. I wanna give him the lip but yeah. Shhh.


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## glitter_vertigo (Dec 31, 2007)

Originally Posted by *S. Lisa Smith* /img/forum/go_quote.gif


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## KellyB (Dec 31, 2007)

Nope. Don't get involved. Trust me on this.


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## xEdenx (Dec 31, 2007)

personally i'd want to know if my bf was cheating me on.


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## Shelley (Dec 31, 2007)

Originally Posted by *Saja* /img/forum/go_quote.gif Unless this girl is your good friend , it would just be inviting drama...I would stay clear.


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## CellyCell (Jan 1, 2008)

Okay, update - this friend told her. And the girl really appreciated it and I think she broke it off but now the guys are hating on my friend.

Haha - thank god it wasn't me who said it.


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## AngelaGM (Jan 1, 2008)

Originally Posted by *KellyB* /img/forum/go_quote.gif Nope. Don't get involved. Trust me on this. That is so true!


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## S. Lisa Smith (Jan 1, 2008)

Originally Posted by *CellyCell* /img/forum/go_quote.gif Okay, update - this friend told her. And the girl really appreciated it and I think she broke it off but now the guys are hating on my friend.
Haha - thank god it wasn't me who said it.





See, the combined wisdom of MUT strikes again with great advice!


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## joybelle (Jan 1, 2008)

She needs to know.


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## LilRayofSun (Jan 2, 2008)

TELL HER.

I have been that girl, fiance had a 5 month long affair of wich his family AND mine knew but no-one told me for fear of hurting me or getting me against them.

I felt like a fool being the last one to know.

Put yourself in her place, woudl YOU believe someone telling you? How would you feel if you found out and everyone knew BUT you?

I did move on and find my husband, so it was not a bad thing to learn from, but I could have moved on months sooner.


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## boxercurl (Jan 3, 2008)

I would want to know.


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## Lamour (Jan 3, 2008)

I'd let the girl tell her - it's her right to know about it.

Make sure she also includes the fact that her boyfriend really felt he learned a lesson and will probably not do it again - but it's smart to be looking for signs of cheating.


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## han (Jan 3, 2008)

if your ex and you are friends it would be a betrayal for you to get someone to tell her imo. i voted NO its none of your business.


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## Manda (Jan 3, 2008)

I said no because you didn't witness it and he didn't tell you himself. Maybe you can get the mutual friend who told you to tell her if they even talk to her.


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## love2482 (Jan 3, 2008)

I'm glad you weren't the one to tell her, it really wasn't your place to get involved in their relationship. You did the right thing.


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## CellyCell (Jan 3, 2008)

Yeah, besides - this friend was the one who found out, not me.

Oh well, they're broken up. Thanks for the suggestions.


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## vickih (Jan 7, 2008)

i'm a firm believer in not getting involved.

sometimes silence is golden.


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