# Overprotective Parents



## krazykid90 (Aug 9, 2007)

I'm so frusterated with my parents. I'm 22 years old but they still are trying to stop me from growing up and becoming my own person. I wanted to go camping with my boyfriend and his friends this weekend and they wouldn't let me because they don't know my boyfriends friends. It doesn't seem to matter to them that my boyfriend and I both know them, and we know they are nice guys. I'm not going to take all my friends to my house to introduce them to my parents so they can determine whether or not I am allowed to spend time with them!

I get not privacy in the house. They search my room constantly, and I have no clue what they are even looking for! I don't do drugs, none of my friends do drugs, and so I don't know what else they are looking for! They barge into my room when I'm changing without knocking (or they do that stupid knocking and opening the door at the same time), and the won't let me get a lock on the door. Even when I'm in the shower my mom will barge into the bathroom. What does she possibly think she can catch me doing in the shower?

I'm going to school soon, and that is the only reason I'm still living at home. Calgary is just too expensive to move out and go to school at the same time. They aren't charging me rent at home, which is why I have to put up with them saying who I can and can't hang out with, them not respecting my privacy etc.

It makes me mad because I've been dating a guy for a year, and we were best friends for like 6 years before we started dating, and he said that I could move in with him. He has an awesome deal on where he is living, so if I worked part time in school I'd be able to pitch in for my share of the rent. I threw this idea out to my parents and they said straight up that they would disown me if I moved in with some one before I was married. 

I just feel so trapped at home right now, and it's making me depressed. There are so many times I want to go places but my parents won't let me. Even when I told them that the course I'm going to school for would require me to work up in Fort Mcmurray for 2 weeks on 2 weeks off, my parents freaked out. They ranted and raved about how Fort Mac is such a rough area. They don't take into account that many of my friends have worked up there and said I'd have no problems staying at the work camps. Besides, up North is where all the money is and if I want to be able to afford to live on my own it'll be pretty much my only option for a starting job.

Iâ€™m sorry for the huge rant, but I just needed to get it out. I understand Iâ€™ll always be their â€˜little daughterâ€™ but they canâ€™t keep me at home forever!


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## makeupwhore54 (Aug 9, 2007)

Im sorry, i hope you can figure something out. Dont feel bad I have an overprotective FAMILY. and my fam is huge. Even my little bro who is 4 wont let me leave unless he says its aloud, he doesnt care what my mom thinks.


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## SqueeKee (Aug 9, 2007)

I hope things get better for you soon!!

Is it weird that even though I know your situation would drive me freakin crazy I'm still kinda jealous that you have parents that care so much?


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## farris2 (Aug 9, 2007)

sorry your'e going through this.I have a 25 year old and I worry about him all the time.Its really hard to not always worry about your children,even after they become adults.I can understand your frustration though.


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## krazykid90 (Aug 9, 2007)

I do understand it is because they love me, but I do feel like they aren't letting me grow up, you know?


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## pinksugar (Aug 9, 2007)

Im sorry to hear this too. My parents are pretty reasonable, and they still drive me insane, so I can only imagine how frustrated you must be.

Maybe try sitting down and explaining to them that you respect and love them, but that you need space, and you also need respect, because you're an adult.

I would seriously consider moving out with the bf despite their threats - when it comes down to the wire they might be just trying to scare you - they must know they cant control you with threats like that, and they must love you to worry about you so much, so I don't think they'd really disown you.

Regardless of what you do, you are your own person. I can understand how this is making you feel down, but just look forward to when you can move out, get your own house and be free of their meddling


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## Retro-Violet (Aug 9, 2007)

my parents still gave me a curfew and i was 20. then i moved away from home and well i never go out in general.


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## MindySue (Aug 9, 2007)

this might sound stupid but i think you should move in anyway, if you think that nothing bad wil happen to leave you stranded. theyd understand. but maybe i am underestimating them. if you think they really would disown you forever then i guess no on that,..but you need out! that must suck..before you go insane!


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## pla4u (Aug 9, 2007)

well I know its tough....your parents do love you ..but its hard for them to let you go....im a parent too...2 boys...it is hard to let go,

you are old enough to make your own life decisions, are you able to talk to your parents about this without an argument starting?

And it is easyer on the parrents if you are not living under the same roof...


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## dixiewolf (Aug 9, 2007)

I think we have the same family, lol. Your explanation sounds just like it was for me living with my mom. I lived at home during college, minus a year when I had roomates, and had to live there after college. She did the "knock and open" thing also, she would even say "knock knock" while she was opening the door at the same time. She searched my room, I had a curfew until I was I think 21. Now I am 29 and live with my bf, and our relationship is a lot better. We live about 10 minutes away, and she doesnt bother me. We spend time together and talk on the phone. The only time she got annoying was when she used to come to my office all the time


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## Solimar (Aug 9, 2007)

Well, I was a very well behaved and responsible teenager, so my mom naturally trusted me. The only thing she was ever concerned about was me getting screwed over, and never wanted to see me get hurt. Your parents try to protect you from things, and sometimes to protect you from the potential harm they can see happening, they unintentionally try to shield you from the world.

Since I turned 18, my mom and I have had discussions about this. She eventually said "I can't stop you". My mom was never snoopy, never did anything to invade my privacy, so I was very lucky. She does have an issue with boyfriends and stuff, since she hates the thought of me having sex, haha...but other than that, with a lot of understanding, she is letting go.

I am sorry for what is happening. Maybe you should see a family therapist who could perhaps give you guys some insight. After that, your parents might start loosening up?


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## sweetnsexy6953 (Aug 9, 2007)

Sorry that your rents wont let you grow up. I would hate to be living at home at 22 and being told what to do by my rents. Yea it is there house but they still need to give you your privacy. They need to let go and let you explore the world for itself. Im sure things will work out in the end. Hang in there. Good Luck!


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## Dragonfly (Aug 9, 2007)

I have a 14 year old son and I worry about him alot.

The best advice I can offer is if you and your folks sit down and have a family discussion. Come up with solutions that you can both be comfortable with. Let your family know that they love you and only want the best for you. But at the same time, remind them that you will soon be on your own and you need to have more freedom.

To be honest, I understand them not wanting you to go camping alone with three males - even if one is your boyfriend.

Hope things work out.


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## jdepp_84 (Aug 9, 2007)

I have the same kind of problem with my mom, im also 22, so I understand were you are coming from. At least your parents allow you to date, my mother goes on just a rant, she gets so jealous and makes my life miserable when I date someone. I think shes scared that im going to leave her all alone or something. I dont know, I just put up with it because I can't move out yet.


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## debbiedeb77 (Aug 9, 2007)

you need to talk to your parents and tell them how you feel asap, they need to know that you are a grown woman and are capable of making good choices...i dunno thats a hard one because i was in that situation too now im an overprotective parent-go figure


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## Shelley (Aug 9, 2007)

Originally Posted by *Carolyn* /img/forum/go_quote.gif The best advice I can offer is if you and your folks sit down and have a family discussion. Come up with solutions that you can both be comfortable with. Let your family know that they love you and only want the best for you. But at the same time, remind them that you will soon be on your own and you need to have more freedom. I agree with Carolyn. Sitting down and talking would be the best thing to try.
My parents were the opposite. Although they only rule they had was a curfew , they didn't really care what I did or what happened to me. Sorry I was going off topic.

Just saying that your parents being protective is showing they do love you, but I can understand you are a young adult and you need your freedom.

I hope everything works out for you.


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## Dreama (Aug 9, 2007)

I'd move out anyway. You have to grow up sometime and they need to realize that. You're 22 not 12. I think it's rediculous that they would disown you over moving out with him. Even if they are mad at you for a while, they'll eventually get over it.


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## limelight (Aug 12, 2007)

you should just talk to your parents and tell them how you feel, maybe they don't realize how much it bothers you that they keep such close tabs on every move you make.


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