# Funny Local and National Newspaper Misprints



## Little_Lisa (Nov 28, 2006)

I came across a plethora of random newspaper misprints that were funny and thought I would share.

"For Sale: 2000 pound wench".

"Wanted: Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink."

"Try our herbal remedies. You can't get better."

"Mayoress receives solid silver brush and bomb set"

"This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Brown to come forward and lay an egg on the alter."

"Thursday at 5:00 p.m. there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All wishing to become little mothers will please meet the pastor in his study."

"This afternoon there will be a meeting in the South and North ends of this church. Children will be baptized at both ends."

"Order chicken cut into serving pieces. Clean as necessary. Wash, drain, and blot on absorbent paper. Place chicken in deep bowl. Mash in a mortar the garlic, oregano, salt and; peppercorns. Add to rum, mixed with soy sauce. Pour over children. - Ridgewood (New Mersey)."

"To avoid slipping in the bath, place a rubber mat on the bottom". - Paisley Daily Express

"G.I. Joe was the only pigeon ever decorated by the British Government. G.I. Joe was credited with saving the lives of 1,00 British soldiers after communication lines had been cut during an Italian engagement. Then he ran through the second and third floors of the building sounding the alarm, clad only in his underwear"- San Francisco Examiner

"Anyone can plant radishes; it takes courage to plant acorns and wait for the oats. - Boy Scouts Association Weekly

"The first essential in the treatment of burns is that the patient should be removed from the fire." - First Aid Manual

"PEANUT-BUTTER GRILLED CORN - Husk fresh corn; spread ears lightly with peanut butter. Wrap each ear with bacon slice; fasten with toothpick. Place on grill,: turning until done - about 10 minutes. Or let everyone grill his own ears, using long skewers to do so. - The American Weekly

"Like all papers written by people following an infinite end, the welter of have and have not, with regard to what may, if by any chance it ever, though it should, of course, is a little confusing. - Stockport Advertiser

"Mike McGrew, deputy U.S. marshal in Oklahoma City has carried his son's first baby as a good luck charm for thirteen years. He has had it hanging on the rear-view mirror of four automobiles and, during the war, kept it in the socks of his Army uniform. - New Jersey paper

"If You Don't Say Mrs Globus' CHOCOLATE PUDDING Is the Finest You Ever Tasted - Tear Up the Cashier and Walk Out. - Menu of a Baltimore restaurant"

"We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.00."

"Wanted, somebody to go back in time with. This is not a joke. You'll get paid after we get back. Must bring your own weapons. Safety not garanteed. I have only done this once before."

"Free: farm kittens, ready to eat"

"Jello brand toilet tissue, regular, sugar free, fat free."

"Fireproof clothing factory burns to ground."

"Oatmeal raisin cookies: Ingredients- ham, water, pasturized cheese, salt, dried whey"

Police in Wichita, Kansas, arrested a 22-year-old man at an airport hotel after he tried to pass two (counterfeit) $16 bills.

Quarter of a million Chinese live on water

Prostitutes appeal to Pope

Enraged cow injures farmer with ax


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## Aquilah (Nov 29, 2006)

LMAO! Some of those are plain scary!


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## Henna_Spirit (Nov 30, 2006)

hahaha! some are just hilarious  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />


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## Leony (Nov 30, 2006)

Lmaooooo


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## princess_20 (Dec 8, 2006)

lol


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## mariayesyes (Dec 13, 2006)

"Prostitutes appeal to Pope"

hahahahhahahah that one was great  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />


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## StrangerNMist (Dec 15, 2006)

Oh lordy! ROFL! I'm saving this!


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## Little_Lisa (Dec 19, 2006)

More ads gone wrong...

For sale:

Antique desk suitable for lady with

Thick legs and large drawers.

Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at night.

We do not tear your clothing with machinery.

We do it carefully by hand.

For Sale

Eight puppies from a German Sheppard

And an Alaskan Hussy.

Toaster:

A gift that every member of the family appreciates.

Automatically burns toast.

Sheer stockings:

Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that

Lots of women wear nothing else.

Stock up and save. Limit: one.

For Rent: 6-room hated apartment.

Man, honest. Will take anything.

Man wanted to work in dynamite factory.

Must be willing to travel.

Used Cars:

Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first!

Illiterate? Write today for free help.

Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion.

Blue Cross and salary.


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## Little_Lisa (Jan 2, 2007)




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## lynnda (Jan 2, 2007)

What a deal only 40.00 WITH the urine smell!!!!:add_wegbrech: :add_wegbrech: :add_wegbrech:


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## pla4u (Jan 2, 2007)

These are pretty funny :laughing:


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## Shelley (Jan 2, 2007)

lol!


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