# A Serious (and long) post



## Momo (Dec 23, 2006)

I'll try to make this brief but it's hard.

1 My boyfriend of 6 months hasn't really been acting normally around me lately, and he just says he's tired all the time. *Things in the bedroom have virtually come to a halt. *He's not as reassuring as he used to be, and not as supportive.

2 I've called him today and he never answered. *I figured he was asleep but my friend said she saw him with his friends at the pool hall*; and also talking to his "sister" a lot. We will call her S.

3 There have been rumors that S and my boyfriend have slept together, and he cheated, but I never really believed them. *They HAD slept together before, and my boyfriend isn't very clear on when exactly it happened.* He insists it was before we met. I'm not sure about him calling her a sister to him because of them sleeping together.

4 There's another girl, we will call her D, she's all over him when I'm not around. *I don't know how he REALLY feels about her because he makes a very big scene of saying how annoying she is*, even though I never really saw her hanging all over him or felt jealous of her anyway. Maybe he wants to make me jealous, or he feels guilty about whatever they do together.

Like with S, he isn't clear about when they dated. He said it was for a short time. I suspect it was in the early stages of his and my relationship, which is not a huge deal to me. *Maybe it should be?*

5 He just seems like somehow he's seeing me differently.* I don't know if he realized that when we met, I was really in a depressed state of mind.* Now I'm a little more upbeat. I like to make myself look nicer, I want to buy new clothes, I want to go out and shop and do more and make new friends. I don't know if he's havinig trouble accepting me this way.

I've really been comfortable with him having girls as friends and I am not normally threatened by them, but I just wanted to know what you all thought. *Maybe my vision is blurred by love.*

I just need to get this cleared up for myself because I hate to have these thoughts on the eve of our 6 month anniversary, and he just bought me a kitten for christmas.


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## sarahgr (Dec 23, 2006)

To me it sounds like he is intimidated by the fact that you are now more "upbeat"/"confident"/"happy"?!?!...(alot of men get that way)

He should be happy about that fact if he really cared about you...

as for the two "sisters" ...either he is TRYING to make you jealous hoping you will fall back into your old "depressed" state... or he has something to hide!!!...i suggest you straight up ask him about everything thats on your mind and tell him how you feel...its usually the best way to solve relationship problems...  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />


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## AnnaBelle (Dec 23, 2006)

If you feel in your heart that there is nothing going on with him and D and S then I wouldn't worry, but it sounds like to me that you have your doubts.

To clear this up for yourself you need to sit down with your boyfriend and tell him what's bothering you. Tell him that he is acting different and that you are worried about your relationship. If he loves you, he will make things better and things will change.

I'm sorry you have to go through this. I've been where you've been and it's a very difficult situation. I hope things get better for you Sweetie. :hugss:


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## YoursEvermore (Dec 23, 2006)

I've been in this situation too and it's not fun. My ex-boyfriend pulled this kind of crap _all_ the time, to a) make me jealous and B) just because he really needed to know that other people were still attracted to him. When I went to college, I did what you're doing now -- I started dressing nicer, hanging out with my friends again, etc. and he _hated_ it. We were together for almost five years and during that whole time he was mentally and verbally abusive, but of course I didn't realize it until after we broke up. I'm not saying that things are that bad with your boyfriend, but his behavior is definitely suspicious. I would keep the kitten and boot the boyfriend. :wink: Like my alliterations?

Just remember that a cat will never put you through those kind of mind-games. No one should have to put up with that.

I really hope things either work out for you. PM me if you need anything else.  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />


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## Dragonfly (Dec 23, 2006)

If it is not too personal, how old is your boyfriend and how did the two of you meet?


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## Momo (Dec 23, 2006)

He's 18 and we met in school


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## Dragonfly (Dec 24, 2006)

When it comes to men, ALWAYS believe their actions. It doesn't matter what they say, their behaviour speaks the truth.

He is just a young guy. It takes a lot longer for a male to mature than a female.

He has the body of a man yet he has the mind/maturity of a 15 year old.

You can have a talk with him but I'm afraid he will only tell you what he thinks you want to hear.

You have to decide whether you are going to accept this situation or not.

He is having his cake so why should he change?

You need to tell him exactly what you want from him. Give him a couple of days to think about your ultimatum. If he is still acting the same way, you have to accept him on his terms, or end the relationship.

Sorry to sound cynical but you deserve better. Never settle. Big hugs.


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## Aquilah (Dec 24, 2006)

I have to say, I agree with everyone on what they've said... The most important thing of all, is to watch your back... As they say, actions speak louder than words!


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## han (Dec 24, 2006)

:iagree:


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