# Having kids at a young age



## Somegirl (Dec 22, 2005)

Ok I have a vent! I am 21, look about 15 and have 2 kids. Both of my kids have the same dad and he and I have been married for just over 4 years. I was getting some last minute Christmas shopping done at the mall yesterday and left my 3 year old daughter at home with her dad and took my 7 month old son. When my daughter was a baby and I would take her out just her and I, I would get some really dirty looks from people just because I had a baby. In fact, I never had people comment on how cute she was or anything like that. If my husband was with her, people would come up and say how pretty she was, etc and the second I would walk up, they would give me a dirty look and just walk off. As my daughter got older people stopped the dirty looks (I think they figured if she lived that long I must not be all that bad of a parent). Well yesterday was the first time I took my son out just he and I and sure enough, got the dirty looks. In fact, one lady even came up to me and made some rude comments about how I was way too young to have a kid and I don't know what else. I know what other people say shouldn't bother me, but it really does. I think the hardest part about being young and having kids is the fact that it seems like the whole world doubts you from the beginning. Well that little vent helped. So everyone, just remember, you really can't judge a book by its cover.


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## jennycateyez (Dec 22, 2005)

omg people can be so mean!! i would just tell them to mind there business!! which they sould be doing cause you have no right telling anybody what to do.sorry you had to go through that, i see young people all the time that have kids and they are great parents, dont mind them as long as you know your a great parent and your kids are taken care of.

back in the day if you werent married by 21 everybodu thought there was soemthing wrong with you.my grandma got married when she was 14 and had kids that young and thry both died together.so whatever you do would never be perfect for the society were living in.


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## dixiewolf (Dec 22, 2005)

What century are these people living in? People have kids at a young age all the time. Uggg, I am angry for you. The only time I have ever come close to saying something was when a mother is screaming at her child for no reason (after seeing what the child did and not seeing a reason to be upset). It had nothing to do with age. Some people just dont have anything to do, some of the best mothers I know are a lot younger than me.


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## Cirean (Dec 22, 2005)

People are rude and stupid.


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## nydoll23 (Dec 22, 2005)

I know exactly how you feel.I am 23 and i have two kids,married 3 years been together for six.When i was preggers with my son i was still 18 and got tons of looks.Smae with me,when my hubby has the kids no one looks at him any differntly,hes30,and i get all the dumb looks..I know how hard it is not to tell them off:icon_twis

Just the other day some guy asked me if these were my kids,because i only look like im seventeen.I told him yeah ,and i almost 24.He just looked at me with the stupidest look on his face.

My advice to you is that as long as you do all that you can for your children,its no bodys business how young you look ,or whatever.Cause at the end of the day ,none of these idiots pay your bills or take care of your kids!!I know its not easy, i still once in a while will say something if someone is giving me some dirty looks but i try not to waste the energy!!!


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## LuckyMe (Dec 22, 2005)

I get comments all the time about how I am to young to have a 16 year old and how old was I when I started. When someone says OMG How old were you "I say, I was 8, the first one in my grade to deliver" or when they say You were too young to have a child I say "Well, do you think I should have had an abortion instead" THey are only apporaching you to shock you and most people who comment to me leave shocked! Dont let them get to you. You need to leave with the last comment and one that makes you feel good and one that makes them question whether or not they should approach anyone with there questions again!


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## Cirean (Dec 22, 2005)

:clap :clap :clap :clap


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## Somegirl (Dec 22, 2005)

That is some good advice! I usually don't let it get to me but there are times I just want to tell some people off. It is like they think you are too young and immature to take care of a kid, but they are the ones being so immature to judge you and be rude about it. I have to admit it is nice to know I'm not the only one.


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## Amethyst (Dec 22, 2005)

People should mind their own freaking business. There are plenty of people who have kids when they are older and are unfit parents or child abusers.

If I had kids &amp; was young and some stranger came up to me and said that, I'd tell them the four letter word for "stick it where they sun don't shine":icon_roll :icon_evil


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## nydoll23 (Dec 22, 2005)

:clap:clapagree!


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## Liz (Dec 22, 2005)

omg... i can't believe people are so rude!


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## cosmo2127 (Dec 22, 2005)

thats rediculous, i dont have a kid but when i was 15 yrs old, i had to go to the store to get some diapers for my baby niece. the cash register guy very rudely said to me "arent you too young to buy diapers?" i said to him, "why am i supposed to have an ID to buy them?" very sarcastically, he said "no". then i said "first of all its non of your business but just to clear things up i am buying them for my niece and even if i did have a baby, i shouldnt get crap for it." i really gave it to him, people shouldnt scorn other people who are young parents. if they are a good parent i dont have a problem with them. who cares what people think anyways, its your business, your parogative and you cant please everybody, do the best your can for yourself and your family and thats all that matters.


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## canelita (Dec 22, 2005)

Good for you LuckyMe, great answer


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## Sirvinya (Dec 22, 2005)

It's none of their business!!! You should really tell them to mind their own! So what if you're onyl 21 and have 2 kids? You're in a stable relationship (that's better than 90% of the young mum's in my area) and you and your kids are healthy. That's all that matters!

On the other side, I'm 23 and have been with my boyfriend for just over a year and I get asked why we don't have kids yet. Sigh, that's another discussion though.


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## emily_3383 (Dec 23, 2005)

Thats seriously none of their business. Thats just really rude.


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## tann (Dec 23, 2005)

FORGET THOSE DIRTY LOOKS AND DIRTY PEOPLE. WE BOTH KNOW WHY THEIR DOUBTFUL. LOOK AT MOST YOUNG MOTHERS. MOST ARENT MARRIED,LET ALONE HAVING THE SAME MAN FATHER THEIR KIDS. USUALLY THEY HAVE NO HOME TRAINING AND WILL HAVE A CHILD WITH EVERY BOYFRIEND THEY GET. I HAD MY DAUGHTER AT 24, SHE'S 9 NOW, AND I COULD GIVE A HOT DAMN ABOUT WHAT THEY THOUGHT OF MY AGE (I LOOKED 18 AS WELL) BECAUSE THEY WEREN'T BUYING HER DIAPERS. NEVER HAD RUDE COMMENTS, PROBABLY BECAUSE I WAS 2 BUSY ROLLING MY EYES AT THEM. AND THEY HAD BETTER SAID SHE WAS CUTE AFTER LOOKING AT US IN OUR FACES. THIS IS SOMETHING THAT IS GOING TO HAPPEN UNTIL U'RE KIDS R 20, BECAUSE U ALREADY SAID U LOOK YOUNG. DON'T LET IT BOTHER U NOW. YOU MAY BE HAPPY 1 DAY WHEN THEY LOOK &amp; SAY, "OMIGOSH, U DON'T EVEN LOOK LIKE U HAVE # YEAR OLD KIDS!!"

:icon_redf TANN


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## nydoll23 (Dec 23, 2005)

so true,people bug when they ask my mom if we are sisters and she tells them im her baby ,untop of having a 30 yr old son.:icon_cheeMy mom is 45 and she has great genetics cause she looks like shes in her 30's


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## Leony (Dec 23, 2005)

Omg that's really rude!

That's definitely none of their business, sorry you have to through this  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

Me, on the other side, people have been talking and questioning about why we couldn't have a baby after being married for 5 years.

It breaks my heart when people ask or mention about me getting pregnant.

Fell free to vent, we're here for you!


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## Eva121 (Dec 23, 2005)

What is the deal with people and their obsession with babies?

I'm 21 and I don't think I'm ready for kids (no, I know ), but that doesn't mean other people can't be. You can be a good/bad parent at any age.

Same thing when they push people that have been together for a while to have children, people can be so inconsiderate sometimes.

It's like you're a freak when you're not married and don't have kids when you're 25 or something. But before that, nope, that's not good either...


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## dixiewolf (Dec 23, 2005)

Some people just cannot focus on their own lives I guess. When I graduated from college, I had a hard time getting a job, interviewers would look at me sideways, ask, well um can you afford to live off the pay, and I had a lady say, "Just how old are you!!!???" Yes, I look young, this is not news. I am 28 and I still get the "so how is your Spring Break going" or what school do you go to. Doesnt bother me now, I just say, oh I graduated. Granted long ago, but oh well. And yes I get the when are you getting married thing a lot, since when is 28 an old maid? I am just not ready, but I answer "I dont know" to the question. I am sure when I get married I will get the, when are you having kids thing a lot. I guess it is good I look young, I would hate for people to think I look like an old lady, lol. Some guy once called my brother her own brother, she was 27 when she had him! I just grin and bear it, I am used to it, makeup, clothes, nothing, makes me look my age.


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## mintesa (Dec 23, 2005)

grrrrrrrr some people are so cold and disgusting. they are probably the sole sister/brother of Ursulla the sea-witch (in the cartoon arielle the mermaid). Babies are so cute, how the hell can someone just not focus on the cuteness of the baby, but think of negative thoughts. crazy!

im 24, yeah and some people always ask me when we plan to have a baby. that's the new question, before that they always asked "when are you gonna move out of his parent's house" (i answered the same question more than 3x to the same person asking, still they ask again and again). and before that they asked "when are you gonna get married?" which i answered again again to the same person asking more than 3x. why is my explanation so hard to understand: "we might get married after school, we will move out after graduation, we might have kids after 10 years" i tried answering with actual and precise years. didn't work. same questions.

so i tried saying "i don't know, how about you? (when are you getting married, when will you have a BF? )" this i found rude... but they stopped asking me now:icon_twis


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## Geek (Dec 23, 2005)

I had a son at 19. He is now 18 and a student at San Diego State University and he graduated high school w/ honors.

Having kids at a young age is a-ok! In fact, just think how much more energy you will have when you are 38 and can still hang w/ them


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## PopModePrincess (Dec 23, 2005)

I know how you feel. I was 26 when I was pregnant with my first child, but looked a lot younger. I got dirty looks all the time. You just have to shake it off. Those people aren't doing anything for you anyway so...:icon_roll


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## LuckyMe (Dec 23, 2005)

Amen to that! I have never been able to party or do the bar thing but when I am 34, my son will be off to college and I will be free to do it all. And I wont have to worry about picking up a man (already have one) and getting pregnant (cause we so are not having another cause we want to enjoy each other and our independence).


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## mintesa (Dec 25, 2005)

hehe :clap


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## bunni (Dec 25, 2005)

People can be so judgemental, they should get their own life to worry about. If you are happy the heck with them, if you worry about what they say constantly you are letting them ruin your life, so just be happy and don't care about what they say, its harder to do than said but give it a try, and sorry you are dealing with such bs.


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## peekaboo (Dec 25, 2005)

People can be so rude and they really need to look at their own lives and mind their business! If they really want to make a stupid comment they will get a smart one back! Having kids at any age is tough-whether it be at a younger or older age. It is bad enough when you have perfect strangers trying to touch your pregnant belly-once was enough for me ha ha!


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## speerrituall1 (Dec 28, 2005)

People should mind their own business!!


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## L281173 (Dec 29, 2005)

That just goes to show you how society judges women. I am 32 and childless. I have never been pregnant. I do not think that I'm any better than a women who has a child an is unmarried, etc...

Some people in the world are just idiots. One time, my aunt told me that I should not be friends with one of my best friends because she was a teenage mother. My mom told her off.:clap


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## littleliverbird (Jan 1, 2006)

What awful experiences for you to go through. It just proves that there really are some very shallow, small minded people out there. You should be very proud of the fact that you have 2 healthy and happy children as well as a husband. It's no-one elses business what you do in your life. You should give yourself a pat on the back for not hitting one of the ignorant idiots! :icon_smil

My boyfriend and I have been together for nearly 6 years and we both feel some pressure from both of our families to have kids. Fact is, I love kids to bits and we both definitely do want them, but not for another couple of years as we both want to be more financially stable. Also, i have problems in that area due to a hormone problem and we have already been told that when we try for children it will be difficult, but we are optimistic. However, it does not stop the comments from people in our family about how we are 'leaving it too long.' I just want to shout 'I am only 26, leave me alone!!!.' The worst was a few weeks ago, my cousin's girlfriend gave birth to their first child and from the moment people found out she was pregnant i had comments like 'We thought it would be you first' and 'You will have to get a move on now.' It is so annoying! :icon_roll :icon_roll :icon_roll


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## Killah22 (Jan 15, 2006)

Yeah, I know how you feel. I'm 22 and I had my first child at the age of 16 and my second child at the age of 20 (both boys who are 5 and 2). I have been with one man my entire life, and that is my kid's father, he's 23; I have been married for 6 years.....yeah, I got married young. Anyway, nobody ever approached me saying anything rude or judging me; they just told me how handsome my boys were. I guess they saw something in me, that even though I was young, I was very mature for my age. Because I was still in high school with my first child and in college with my second. So, when they saw me and my kids, they saw my school bag as well. Beside, even though I am now a mother, I still have goals and want to do something with my life and for my family and I, so that all of our future will be comfortable. So, I guess, all that shuts them right up before they even get started.


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