# College Drop Out



## LittleMissLilo (Oct 31, 2008)

My bf whom I've been with for two years and 6 months has finally decided to drop outta school. When we first met, he wasn't even in college (18 yrs old) and I finally pushed him to go two semesters ago. Both semesters hes dropped out, this semester which is his third, he also chose to drop out. He says hes not ready or mentally prepared. The worst part was that all three semesters he took just ONE class that met twice a week. Its not like he was taking a heavy load like I was and I go three days a week.

I'm just really bummed and concerned. I just got accepted to transfer to SFSU and CAL. I cant even share in the excitement if the other just dropped out. Blah. I keep telling myself, oh whatever as long as its not me.

I told him if he wanted to get somewhere in life he needs to go to school, the economy is not up for taking people who dropped out (high paying jobs is what I mean) and if we even want a life together I cant have someone drop out support me with no degree. =[

Should I be concerned or am I overreacting?


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## Dragonfly (Oct 31, 2008)

Good for you for getting to transfer to SFSU and CAL.

I can't agree with you more that education is the key to economic success.

Right now when jobs can be scarce, it's a great time to return to school and get another certificate or degree.

The situation with your boyfriend reminds of the old cliche - "you can lead a horse to water but not make him drink"

The only advice I can offer is to focus on yourself and your education.

And don't compromise what is important to you in a relationship.

Good luck with the studies


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## pinksugar (Oct 31, 2008)

I completely agree with Carolyn - you can tell him all you want, but essentially he'll do what he wants.

I'm sorry to say this, he sounds just like SO MANY guys of his age that I've known, that have dated my friends or who have dated me. They have no drive.

I personally would be annoyed and concerned. It's not like he's said, ok, I'm dropping out but that's because I want to do an internship, or go to trade school or I have a job lined up.

Not mentally prepared?! I'm in no way a super smart genius, but I got that same argument from my ex - he coudn't work since it was too hard with uni as well, and he even said he couldn't handle a relationship - not enough time for that!

Well let me tell you - I manage part time work, uni AND manage personal relationships so I think it's a load of bull.

I would expect him to have something else as a backup if he didn't want to study. I know I sound kind of *****y, but I've been in this situation and I found it so frustrating and upsetting! They aren't realizing their full potential!

By the way, you're right - it doesn't matter since it's not you! I think what will happen is that if you continue to do really well you may grow out of him or he may realize that he isn't doing as well as you, and he might find something that he's good at that he can study.

Congratulations on your transfer! how awesome for you!


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## kcam125 (Oct 31, 2008)

you should be concerned, now a days you can hardly get anywhere without a college degree =/

good for you! you got into sfsu &amp; cal! which are you leaning towards? Cal is great, especially the people, diversity and the area around campus, like Telegraph &amp; College Ave. Great hang out spots and great food! Also very close to bart among other things! Good luck with your choices! Go Bears! (nothing subliminal about that!) ^_^ /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />


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## brewgrl (Oct 31, 2008)

Go to Cal! We can e Cal girls together!!!

GO BEARS!

Maybe traditional school isn't for him... has he thought about maybe taking something vocationally?

If he's going to be dropping out every semester, I wouldn't push him any further. It's just wasting money. Plus, it will cause resent in the both of you... When it comes to education- worry about you, and then your future children.

If's he's man enough and smart enough, he will figure out his path on his own. My husband didn't go to college, and he owned his own business and then moved on to become the Northern California Project Manager for a "green" company that helps reduce energy use and water consumption in commercial projects. he makes twice as much as i do now at what he does.

but would I do it? nope... it's hard hard work what he does, but he loves it and he's good at it.

Everyone has their paths. Just be sure he's at least trying to walk one, and not lying around blocking you from walking yours.


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## pinksugar (Oct 31, 2008)

Jen, you put it much better than I did. But that's pretty much what I think. LOL


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## S. Lisa Smith (Oct 31, 2008)

I'd transfer and go on with school (I don't think you were considering not going). He will either find himself or not. [Auntie mode: on] See how you feel about him after you get to Cal or that other school




You are right to say it's his life, you tried to help...There are plenty of fish in the sea. [Auntie mode: off]


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## Darla (Oct 31, 2008)

All i know is college is not for everyone. There are people that don't go to college and are successful. But it seems like a lot of these people have incredible skills or aptitude that allow them to excel.

Statistics however don't lie.College graduates typically earn more money than non-graduates. obviously there are exception as mentioned. A college degree is worth something in the job market today and given two candidates employers do look for the degree.


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## Adrienne (Oct 31, 2008)

Speaking from personal experience, believe me, if you have to motivate him for him to excel, you're just being a second mom. I'm not saying college is for everyone but you're both really young and at this age, i really don't think finding the one you want to spend the rest of your life with is going to be certain, not impossible just harder to find. Firstly, you both still haven't grown into the adults you are going to be and dont know who you are yet alone. At this age, I would put myself first. It seems you want someone that at least is in the same mind set as you and the only way you're going to find this is with someone who goes to college like you. This obviously seems very important for you to have in common with a significant other.


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## Johnnie (Oct 31, 2008)

I agree with Darla!!


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## Aprill (Oct 31, 2008)

ITA with Jen...dont stress his education because men sometimes dont need a boatload of education to prove themselves. My husband did one semester of college, he was in the army, yet he dosent attend college anymore and makes more money than I would make with a master's degree. For a man, college education is good for men, but I dont see it as mandatory for them because they can always find good jobs with no education. My husband has skills that college cant teach him.

So give him some time and when he is lagging around with no job and no nothing, then fuss.


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## LittleMissLilo (Nov 1, 2008)

Thanks all! It really made me feel better, I mean I know I'm concerned about his educational goals as far as his excuse of not being mentally prepared, but you are all right. I am better off worrying about myself. Its nice to show concern for someone, but in the end all you got is yourself right? I have to do it for myself no matter what anyone else's goals are. I'm going to do that and whatever path he picks, thats fine by me as long as it does not concern my college education and needs.


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