# Stay, Leave or Cheat?



## pinkbundles (Mar 24, 2007)

Hello all! Poll time b/c it's been a while! hahaha So, there's a new lady at my work and well, let's just say her stories has sparked some thoughts for me to ask you guys.

So, the situation is: you are in a good relationship and for whatever reason, you become human and develop strong feelings for another person unintentionally.

The question: Would you stay in your current relationship and ignore those feelings? Or would you break up with your SO to persue this new relationship? Or would you cheat and hope your SO never finds out?

ETA: The reason I ask is b/c of part two of my question, which is: If it were the other way around, would you prefer your SO break up with you first and be with this person or cheat on you hoping you wouldn't find out and you do anyway. Obviously, everyone would prefer their SO stayed, so I didn't include it.


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## AprilRayne (Mar 24, 2007)

I would stay! My husband is worth it!!


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## Ricci (Mar 24, 2007)

Not sure..


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## Gwendela (Mar 25, 2007)

I would like to think that I would stay, but I would also dig deep into my marriage to see what would cause me to channel my affections elsewhere. If that makes any sense.


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## Aquilah (Mar 25, 2007)

I'd stay w/ my man! Obviously there's a reason I'm with him!


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## han (Mar 25, 2007)

if i was happy and all is well with my current relationship i would def stay and ignore those feelings.


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## sweetnsexy6953 (Mar 25, 2007)

Id stay. Theres a reason Im with him.


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## Aprill (Mar 25, 2007)

I would stay


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## makeupfreak72 (Mar 25, 2007)

well first of all why would i develop feelings for someone else UNLESS i was actually looking for it? does that make sense? i love my husband and am happy with him so i have worked with good looking guys but it never turned into anything else or more because your just not looking for it. when your single you tend to let yourself start growing more fond of someone. but once your married you dont think about it or bother. LOL!!! (unless your unhappy in your current relationship?)


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## StereoXGirl (Mar 25, 2007)

It depends.

I'm not in a relationship. But if I was married to the person, I would ignore the feelings and stay with my husband. If we had only been dating a week or so (lol!) then it would be best to break up and date guy #2.

I don't think it would ever be ok to cheat, though.

Just my opinion.  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />


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## H1baby (Mar 25, 2007)

I would stay. The old saying is: Grass is not always greener on the other side. You could leave a good relationship and end up in a very bad situation after you get to know that person very well.


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## Dragonfly (Mar 25, 2007)

I agree with everything Stereo Girl said


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## makeupfreak72 (Mar 25, 2007)

yeah besides i learned the hard way, i was married at 18, yes 18 the church wedding and everything 1 year and 8 months later i fell for some guy and decided to leave my husband for him, BIG mistake!!! my life was worse in every way possible, only good thing to come out of it was my 14 year old son!! ONLY good thing, but then again i was 18 years old, nuff said!! LOL!!!


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## pinksugar (Mar 25, 2007)

I would stay. I had a situation like that a few years ago. My then boyfriend and I went on a break, and while we were on it I started to like someone new. I decided it would be wrong to keep seeing my then-boyfriend if I was thinking about someone else, and broke it off with him.

Eventually I got together with the other guy. Basically I would say, the grass always looks greener. I have never regretted a relationship so much as that one. not because I wish I'd stayed with my then boyfriend, but because the new guy was such an ******* as it turned out.

In a way I'm glad that other guy was there, because he made me see that my current relationship wasn't working in some way, but I think if it happened now, I'd stay and evaluate my current relationship, or leave, but not to be with the other guy. If that makes sense.

Sorry to write a whole novel!!! It's hard to explain how things happened and how I felt  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />


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## tadzio79 (Mar 25, 2007)

:dito:


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## missnadia (Mar 26, 2007)

I think that if the relationship is good then there's no reason to leave, even if you think the other guy might be good for you. Because once you're with the new guy, there will always be somebody else to tempt you, and the cycle will continue forever. If it ain't broke, don't fix it!

That's unless your current relationship is only something you found yourself settling for, and was never happy with to begin with. But in this case, why would you be in that relationship anyways?

One thing I would never do is cheat. It's the worst type of betrayal and I would never forgive my SO if he did that to me. I'd rather him just leave than to lie to me and hurt me by dragging me along while he's interested in somebody else. If he doesn't want to be with me, I'd rather know it ASAP and move on with my life as soon as I can. Preventing me to move on by lying will only hurt me longer than necessary. I would do the same for my SO, just straight up tell him I'm leaving instead of going around his back. That shows respect and a clean ending to everything.


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## pinkbundles (Mar 26, 2007)

Keep 'em coming!


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## YoursEvermore (Mar 26, 2007)

Stay, definitely. My DF is so worth it. I wouldn't want to throw all that away just because of a feeling.


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## Sirvinya (Mar 26, 2007)

I'd like to say that I'd stay but the situation hasn't occured. While we're not married, we are engaged and I like to think that we could discuss something like that and see if there was a problem with us that we would need to resolve. We've made a commitment to eachother and we know it takes work.


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## Jessica (Mar 26, 2007)

Ditto!!!!!!:handkuss:


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## rejectstar (Mar 26, 2007)

I voted "don't know until it happens". If it was in a long term committed relationship or marriage and I was happy, I would put it out of my mind and stay. But if the relationship was lacking or if it wasn't too serious then I would definitely break it off before I pursued anything else with another person. I can't abide cheating... I would feel horrible about it. I wouldn't want someone I loved to do that to me, so I would never do it to them!


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## CubNan (Mar 26, 2007)

I would try to figure out why you have these feelings for the extra guy? Are you dissatisfied in your current relationship? Why? What's missing? Is it just LUST for the other guy?


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## ivette (Mar 28, 2007)

don't know until it happens


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## CellyCell (Mar 30, 2007)

stay. no risk messing up a good thing.


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## speerrituall1 (Mar 30, 2007)

I'd stay, and try to figure out what could be done to generate that spark at home.

I'd stay, while trying to generate that spark at home.


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## Savvy_lover (Mar 30, 2007)

we plan on staying together forever. even after we past away and have nth left but energies of various forms


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## chic_chica (Apr 1, 2007)

I was in a similar situation.

I was happy with my bf..everything was great. Then i started talking to my ex-bf and well some old feelings came up. But i decided to ignore it cuz i knew i didn't want to go with him...and i knew that i loved my bf more than anything else. I'm glad i stayed and decided not to act on those feelings.


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## SwtValina (Apr 1, 2007)

I'd stay, everyone feels longings for another person at one point. If I was to leave the man I was with, it would be because we weren't a good match or he didn't treat me right, but not for another man. It's the "grass is always greener on the otherside until you get there" theory.


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## Karen_B (Apr 2, 2007)

I think it's nearly impossible to say until it happens, what you would do. It all depends on how strong the feelings are for the other person and what state the relationship is in.


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## DymondButterfly (Apr 5, 2007)

My fiance and I say the same thing and tell each other this all the time. We talk about how after we die the children will look up to the sky and see us there in the stars..together forever. Yeah, sappy, huh?  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

But this all came after I was in a situation very similar to the basis of this thread. I was in a relationship with a man that I loved. I honestly loved him. Then one day at work I spotted this man. It was a connection like I've never had with another human being ever. I knew he was my soul mate, and even though I was in relationship I knew I had to pursue my instincts about this new man. And now we are engaged and trying to have children. It's amazing!

But of course this was the biggest moral dilemma I've ever faced in my life. On one side I had the voice of society saying, "Your boyfriend takes care of you, he loves you, you've been together for three years, you need to do the right thing and stay." On the other side I had my instincts telling me this new guy was my soul mate, I couldn't let him get away. In the end I told my current boyfriend that I had been seeing someone else (even though it was only for lunch twice and dinner once and the other guy knew about my boyfriend). I definitely wouldn't date two men at the same time, I just couldn't do that. But I felt a connection with the new guy that I couldn't give up either.

Gosh, even just typing it is hard to get it out. It was a difficult situation. In the end I think those who say they wouldn't know until it happened to them are right on the money. I never thought I'd be faced with this dilemma myself. I always believed I'd never do something like this, but you can really only make the decision that is right for you at the time.


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## pinkbundles (Apr 5, 2007)

Thank you for your honest and compelling answer.  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />


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## Sparko (Apr 26, 2007)

i chose Stay, because my hubby and i have had some real rough times already, and i've let it cross my mind that i've got some really great guys at hand that wouldn't put me through that particular problem but... that's just not the point. if we were just dating, that'd be one thing, but i married him, promising him that i would do everything in my power to stay with him and make things work. i mean, there's a reason we're together, and that's because we know we can work through the tough spots and bask in good ones ^.^

i will admit though, i've cheated a few times in the past, and usually waited to break up with the guy. i know it was wrong, but that's just how it happened. but it was always at the point where i just didn't care and the relationship was down to nothing anyways. that's not an excuse i know, but, in the past that's what my answer was. i know i'd never do that to my hubby though, EVER. it's different between us ^.^


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## empericalbeauty (Apr 26, 2007)

I would stay because i know it is just a phase and we are all stirred by unfamiliar things. So after being with my bf for a long time, i might be going through a "maybe i should try something new"..phase but I know that will pass because in the end, only my bf understands me intimately.


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## kaylin_marie (Apr 26, 2007)

*my answer is based on my relationship, with my fiance, i can see how it would be different in a non-super-serious relationship*

I would stay. It would more than likely be a bad decision to leave someone you know and love for something new that could possibly completly crash and burn. And cheating is never an option.


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## xEdenx (Apr 26, 2007)

I said leave. I have this bad habit of getting bored easily..so i bounce! but my b/f now has kept me entertained and holds the current record of 5 consequetive months LOL!


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## Sarah84 (Apr 27, 2007)

ditto, i deffo wouldnt cheat


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## mehrunissa (Apr 27, 2007)

I know I wouldn't cheat, and I think it's very rare that relationships that start out with a breakup/divorce from a previous one actually work out. But if the original relationship is good, I know for sure that if I felt an inkling of something for someone else, I'd run the other way. I don't understand people who ignore those budding feelings, let them develop, and then don't know what to do when it's too late, feeling like victims/martyrs.


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## Lila (May 1, 2007)

I would just decide on taking a "break" from my relationship so I can clear my head and decide what I really want.


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## maple (May 7, 2007)

I'd stay, because honestly.. I love him so much.


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## Kookie-for-COCO (May 13, 2007)

Stay-but have a sit down chat with S.O. and tell him that you feel drawn to this other person. Something is wrong if you are involved but still looking. Straighten it out!


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