# When do you finally give up and stop trying to get pregnant?



## Heather12801 (Sep 6, 2006)

All of you always seem so nice and supportive, so I thought I would ask you girls a question, and see if you have any advice for me. My husband and I have been trying to get pregnant for 2 1/2 years. I have taken fertility medicines, and had procedures such as IUI. I've been pregnant three times, but never made it more than two or three days after my + pg. test. It always results in a chemical pregnancy. I am at the end of my rope, and I don't know what to do. This upsets me constantly, and I'm about to cry just sitting here writing about this. I feel like this is never going to happen for me, and I can't stand it. I have wanted to be a mom since I was little, and I couldn't wait to get older and get married and have kids. It's always been a part of who I am. When I was twelve, I started to have this weird feeling that I would never have kids. I even told my mom about it. Now I'm starting to wonder if it's true. I just don't know how much longer I can take this. The problem is, my husband still really wants to be a dad, and it's my fault that we can't have a baby. It makes me feel terrible, but there's nothing I can do. I have a LOT of fertility problems, and my body just doesn't seem to work right. And not to sound mean at ALL, but please don't say that I'm young, and I have plenty of time. I know that I'm young, but the doctors say with the problems I have, I need to be pregnant now, or I may never get my chance. Anyway, the point of my rambling is partly to get support, b/c I feel so down about this. The other reason is for advice. Have any of you gotten to the point where you can't take it anymore and you gave up? Thanks for reading, and if you got this far, I am greatful. I know this was long and boring, and I apologize. I guess I need a friend right now, and didn't know where else to turn.


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## VenusGoddess (Sep 6, 2006)

Wow...sorry to hear about this. But, in my honest opinion, these things happen when you are not stressing out. You are obsessing about having babies...stop. When you obsess about something, it prevents your body from doing it's "natural rhythym". Relax...enjoy your life without children and focus on how happy you will feel once you begin having children. It does not help to focus on how much you "want" kids. Just focus on the joy of having them.

I really truly believe that this is all about mind. When you are balanced in the mind (I'm not saying you are crazy, but unbalanced...meaning that what you are FEELING is not in line with what you are wanting) then everything falls into place.

Take a deep breath...relax...pamper yourself. FEEL the happiness of having a baby...FEEL the joy of being a mom...and don't worry about HOW you will become a mom...just know that when the time and space is right, it will happen.

Lots of hugs...


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## Kelly (Sep 6, 2006)

Originally Posted by *VenusGoddess* /img/forum/go_quote.gif Wow...sorry to hear about this. But, in my honest opinion, these things happen when you are not stressing out. You are obsessing about having babies...stop. When you obsess about something, it prevents your body from doing it's "natural rhythym". Relax...enjoy your life without children and focus on how happy you will feel once you begin having children. It does not help to focus on how much you "want" kids. Just focus on the joy of having them.
I really truly believe that this is all about mind. When you are balanced in the mind (I'm not saying you are crazy, but unbalanced...meaning that what you are FEELING is not in line with what you are wanting) then everything falls into place.

Take a deep breath...relax...pamper yourself. FEEL the happiness of having a baby...FEEL the joy of being a mom...and don't worry about HOW you will become a mom...just know that when the time and space is right, it will happen.

Lots of hugs...

Great advice!
You know, when hubby and I stopped trying (for a year, we stopped preventing pregnancy....so yes we were trying to get pregnant...and yep....NOTHING). Then I just thought, ok, guess that means we are not meant to have another. You guessed it, once we stopped trying....must have been the pressure was off....and BAMM along came Lizzy!

So there is something to be said about stressing over it....just let whatever happen happen, whether it ends up being you adopt or whatever....you can still be a Mommy. And heck, you never know....sometimes just removing the pressure, can do your mind and body wonders!


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## han (Sep 6, 2006)

dont give up if thats what you really want besides you and your husband can have fun trying and pray and have faith god will bless you


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## Leony (Sep 6, 2006)

Don't give up. You're not alone.

We've been trying hard here for like 4 years and it was a LOT of painful to me.

But, we're not giving up yet, we'll just keep trying!


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## Aquilah (Sep 6, 2006)

Never give up! My old hair dresser tried for 7 years before she finally got pregnant! And before her daughter even turned 1, she was pregnant again! John's cousin was on fertility drugs for almost 10 years before she was pregnant with twin daughters (which run in the father's side anyway), and not even a year later, delivered a healthy baby boy! I wouldn't give up! As stressful as it seems, and as long as it's seemed to have taken, don't lose your faith and keep trying! I wish you the very best sweetie!


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## Heather12801 (Sep 6, 2006)

Thank you girls very much for the support. You all are the best.




I have tried SO many times to let it go and relax, but I am such a worrier, and I don't know how to forget about it for a while. Another thing is that my husband is so anxious about this, and the doctor has told me to make the most out of every single month, so on the months that we don't try, he gets all frustrated b/c he says we're missing our opportunities. So, then I feel guilty for not trying harder. (Of course he's not being mean, but he's tired of all of this too and is ready to get this part over with) I think we will try this month, and then maybe do the fertility meds that the doctor prescribed next month, and if I'm still not pregnant, we may just leave it alone for a while. Thanks for listening and thank you so much for letting me vent. I really appreciate your kidness.


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## jdepp_84 (Sep 6, 2006)

Just take it easy and don't stress over it. Maybe all that stress is having an effect on you trying to have a baby. Just relax and have fun trying. My mom's friend tried to have a baby for 10 years and had 8 failed pregancies. But once she began to take it easy, she got her baby girl.


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## PerfectMistake (Sep 7, 2006)

I bet that would be so heartbreaking! And frustrating!!

If you want a child of your own - just don't give up - but of course don't let it stress ya out





I would say go with the old wives tale "One you stop trying it happens" lol


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## Heather12801 (Sep 7, 2006)

Originally Posted by *jdepp_84* /img/forum/go_quote.gif Just take it easy and don't stress over it. Maybe all that stress is having an effect on you trying to have a baby. Just relax and have fun trying. My mom's friend tried to have a baby for 10 years and had 8 failed pregancies. But once she began to take it easy, she got her baby girl. Yeah, I know stress can do bad things to your body, so it only makes sense that it causes it to not work quite right. Now I just have to figure out a way to calm myself down and not worry myself sick over this all the time.

Originally Posted by *PerfectMistake* /img/forum/go_quote.gif I bet that would be so heartbreaking! And frustrating!!
If you want a child of your own - just don't give up - but of course don't let it stress ya out





I would say go with the old wives tale "One you stop trying it happens" lol

Thanks for the support. I'm not going to give up, but I am going to have to stop stressing so much about it. Maybe you're right about the old wives tale...at least I hope so!


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## babyapplejack (Sep 12, 2006)

I agree with the other posters, don't give up!!! Maybe don't try too hard and just have fun sex and not think about baby making for now.


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## Milan_Minerals (Oct 1, 2006)

I totally agree with everyone about taking the pressure off of yourself like everyone else has mentioned. I know you mentioned that you were taking fertility drugs and I don't know what other methods you and your husband are using but here's another thing I'll mention..................I know it SEEMS like other women may get pregnant at the drop of the hat but really they're just doing the right thing at the right time,when your body is ready for you to be pregnant it WILL happen! So you and your husband should spend this time enjoying each other( lol if you know what I mean!) and let nature take it's course. When a baby is the last thing on your mind, you'll be pregnant!


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## tandcmum (Oct 3, 2006)

just wondering if a vacation would be in your budget and schedule at the moment. There is nothing like a nice relaxing vacation to ease the stress. I know it worked for me. We stopped using contraception for about a year and nothing. We took a vacation and had a great time, enjoyed it so much my concentration went into planning another vacation and because i forgot all about conceiving bang, it happened. Might be worth a try


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## shishomiru04 (Oct 19, 2006)

haha you know what?...i know this may sound funny but this is my second pregnancy and for me this works...everytime i TRY to get pregnant, it never happens...everytime i am not trying to get pregnant or don't want to get pregnant..it happens..i don't know what it is...but give up for a while and try not too think about it, if your anything like me, as soon as your not trying BOOM! your preggo!..wierd no?


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## mandy_ (Oct 19, 2006)

I agree, don't think about it. It will happen when you least expect it.

If it doesn't, you always have the option of adopting. I'm not sure how you feel about that, but there are tons of kids out there needing good homes.


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## -Liz- (Oct 19, 2006)

i know nothign about this but i say dont give up, try anf relax and i agree with the above, enjoy the sex you never know what will come out of it! my prayers are with you


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## sproutwings (Oct 20, 2006)

I'm so sorry you are having a tough time! My friend and her husband tried for like 12 years to get pregnant. They had 8 IVF treatments when FINALLY, she got pregnant!! The TRIPLETS will be 3 next month!


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## NYShopgirl (Nov 2, 2006)

i'm on the same boat...been trying for a long time now but seems nothing is woking. I send you a message hope that you'd feel better.


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## sanelyinsanemom (Dec 8, 2006)

Never give up!! Just stop stressing and obsessing! My husband and i tried for 6 years I fell into deep depression and our marriage suffered and almost ended I cried all the time finally I just thought well I guess I am not meant to have anymore children and I thought that was it-over. A few months later I got pregnant!!!! My baby girl just turned 1!! NEVER GIVE UP!!!!!!!!


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## drealoveu (Dec 9, 2006)

I wish you the best of luck. I remember when I was trying to get pregnant, it seemed like it was never gonna happen. I was so depressed about it and choose to finally give up on hope. But as soon as I did, I got pregnant. I now have a beautiful 2 year old son. My hubbie and I have been trying for about half a year for another but nothing has happened so far. I know it's hard not to think about because we've always wanted a big family but I always find myself thinking, "maybe this time". But I will never give up hope ever again because I have a special little man in my life now. I guess all I want to say is Just don't give up on hope. =)


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## clearhut (Dec 13, 2006)

Yeah, don't give up. I have a friend been trying to have a baby for over a year. She was frustration as you, finally she and her husband decide to take break, so they took a vacation... and come back with a baby boy.

Maybe it's time for you to take a break?


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## lummerz (Jan 15, 2007)

Keep your chin up! i would stop trying at 60 years old  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

hehe, well...i told my mother, i would never have kids ( more specificially a girl) cuz girls are brats and there isn't a guy out there that i would want to scream in pain for while his child was squeezing out of my pus*y! and 13 year later..i popped one out. So, you could be wrong and have a child soon...

Even if you don't...you can adopt...or become a kindergarten teacher..who knows..maybe being around with kids constantly will make you go bonkers..and not want any in the end...hehe, thats what happened to one of my friends...

but anyway...whatever happens, good luck...and don't worry....it'll work out in the end i'm sure


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## Aprill (Jan 16, 2007)

oh no, never give up


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