# Bad Advice



## Little_Lisa (Dec 28, 2005)

This is another game I used to play. Someone asks for some advice for a certain problem and you give them the worst, silliest advice you can come up with. Then you ask the next person for advice for your own dilemma. Okay, i'll get us rolling...

I can't go to sleep. What should I do?


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## canelita (Dec 28, 2005)

jejeje Lisa bad advice sounds like fun.

Ok, Make a really strong pot off espresso coffee, drink it all and seat in front of the TV or PC till the morning.

I want to stop smoking, help me !!


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## Geek (Dec 28, 2005)

Buy 700 cartons of cigs and 300 lighters.

I need to take a poo poo, how?


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## Little_Lisa (Dec 28, 2005)

LMAO!

Go buy a bunch of Ex Lax. Your age times 2 will determine how many bars to eat. Eat this all at once and wash it down with a large glass of prune juice. Immediately following this, you should exercise. I suggest a long run. Report back and let us know how it all comes out.

My dog likes to steal my panties and destroy the crotch by over licking and chewing at them. I know some people buy panties crotchless but mine weren't that way to begin with. What should I do and how can I get her to stop?


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## Geek (Dec 28, 2005)

Wash 'it' much worse and much less! Stop scrubbing the dungeon.

I love computers and sports, How can I mix that?


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## Little_Lisa (Dec 28, 2005)

Play hockey with your laptops. Set them up on either sides of the room as goals. Use your mouse as the puck. Now get to whacking!

I have a booger on my finger and there's no tissue handy. What should I do?


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## canelita (Dec 28, 2005)

Eat it !! that’s got to be tasty

I have to do exercise but I don’t feel like it, Any advice ??


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## Little_Lisa (Dec 31, 2005)

I suggest eating nonstop while talking at the same time to exercise your jaw.

My husband just farted and it keeps on lingering. What should I do?


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## looooch (Dec 31, 2005)

sniff up the stinky air until the smell is gone.

I'm balding, what should i do?


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## canelita (Jan 1, 2006)

Pull out what you have left, is not growing back.

I’m watching an horror movie, I’m really scared!!!!!!!


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## bluebird26 (Jan 1, 2006)

Go camping by the cementery..

My feet have tons of calluses, What can I do?


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## looooch (Jan 2, 2006)

walk barefoot

i cant stop burping


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## bluebird26 (Jan 2, 2006)

Drink a lot of pop!

I have diahrrea


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## looooch (Jan 2, 2006)

go out streaking!

i cuss a lot


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## lovesboxers (Jan 2, 2006)

hang out with someone who has Turet's Syndrome (please take no offense_

my kids are crying


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## bluebird26 (Jan 2, 2006)

Bath them in cold water

I woke up with a huge pimple on my face


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## canelita (Jan 3, 2006)

Squeeze it really hard -note this will leave you a scar and that is exactly what you want-

I’m tired


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## lollipop (Jan 3, 2006)

Go to a party and dance all night long

_My skin is so dry I don`t know what to do?_


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## Little_Lisa (Jan 3, 2006)

Rub yourself down really good with some motor oil. Also you might want to add more protein in the form of urine to your diet. See this thread.

I was given some bad advice from a friend. He told me to wash my coochie much worse and much less and to stop scrubbing the dungeon. I did this and now I have a horrible odor, a rash, and an infection. Help!


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## redrocks (Jan 3, 2006)

I think you should use some Lysol to cure the infection and the odor. As far as the rash, I'm assuming it's itchy, in that case, you should use a thick brush or thorn bush to help relieve that.

I can't stop eating Chocolate today. What should I do?


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## canelita (Jan 3, 2006)

Buy yourself several big boxes of chocolate and put them all over your house, every time you go pass one of the boxes take a handful.

I have to start packing for a big trip but I don’t know what to do


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## mintdee (Jan 3, 2006)

Wait until an hour before you leave for said trip and then run through the house grabbing everything that will fit into the suitcase.

There is a huge wart on my face and everyone laughs at it. What should I do?


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## Little_Lisa (Jan 3, 2006)

Become a comedienne. All you have to do is stand on stage and the wart will do the rest for you. You will become famous and make lots of money. Then you can take that money to a surgeon and have more warts surgically placed on your face for even bigger laughs.

I started my period and I don't have any pads or tampons. What should I do?


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## mintdee (Jan 3, 2006)

Stick your finger in there until you get to a place that has tampons

My daughter keeps telling me random stories that just pop into her head and all I want is some peace what should I do?


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## chickylittle (Jan 4, 2006)

Schedule an appointment to a hearing center for next month and pretend that you are deaf and can't hear her. Purchase some sign language books and hand them to her.

I have had no luck getting a date..how do I attract a good man?


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## bluebird26 (Jan 4, 2006)

take hormones and grow a moustache

My cat poos a lot!


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## chickylittle (Jan 6, 2006)

buy it a butt plug and don't take it to the vet when it gets sick.

my dog won't stop barking


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## Little_Lisa (Jan 6, 2006)

Start barking with him and try to bark louder. Do this everytime he barks and especially when you have company.

PS: Videotape it for us.

I have an itch that I can't reach and no one here to scratch it. Help!


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## chickylittle (Jan 6, 2006)

I have heard that posion ivy helps to relieve an itch! So..find some leaves and rub the ivy all over your body...HTH!

My nose won't stop running and I have no tissue paper what should I do?


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## KittySkyfish (Jan 6, 2006)

Tampons are great for runny noses! If you're really runny, attach a pad and secure it with duct tape. There ya go.

_I'm going to my high school reunion next week. What can I do to make the best impression?_


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## chickylittle (Jan 6, 2006)

Make sure to dress exactly as you did in the eighties (soo hot)and drink until you puke!

My boss hates me...how can I get her to like me?


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## KittySkyfish (Jan 6, 2006)

She doesn't *REALLY* hate you...she's just fighting her lesbian tendencies. Take the first step asap and get her in a hot lip-lock. The rest will come naturally.

This recipe calls for beef but I don't have any onhand. What can I substitute it with and still make it tasty?


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## Little_Lisa (Jan 6, 2006)

LMAO! :icon_lol: :clap

Use your cat or dog's poop. Season it with salt and pepper and no one will ever know the difference.

I keep getting obscene phone calls. What should I do?


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## chickylittle (Jan 6, 2006)

pretend the person is really turning you on, moan, scream and act like you really enjoy their calls. I am sure that they will leave you alone if you do that.

my tooth hurts, should I go see a dentist?


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## livlegacy629 (Jan 6, 2006)

no eat lots of chocolate

i have a headache, what do i do?


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## chickylittle (Jan 6, 2006)

Turn up your TV, start vaccuming, and hit your head repeatedly on the wall. Those always work for me!

I get really cold at night. What should I do?


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## Amethyst (Jan 6, 2006)

Sleep in a bikini swimsuit with the thermostat below 55.

I am under a lot of stress.


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## chickylittle (Jan 7, 2006)

Start working 18 hour days, 7 days a week...I am sure thats what you need to relieve your stress!

I just ate garlic and don't have a mint, what should I do?


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## bluebird26 (Jan 7, 2006)

Eat a lot of onions with lemon juice.

I got pimples on my butt cheeks


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## Little_Lisa (Jan 7, 2006)

I hear pee is good for pimples so look for the worst pee splattered public toilets and sit on them. This should heal it.

I'm trying to grow my hair out. Is there anything I can do to speed the process along?


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## bluebird26 (Jan 8, 2006)

Shave it everyday

A fly fell on my soup


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## looooch (Jan 8, 2006)

Whack it with a fly swatter, then fish it out with your teeth.

i have a headache


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## chickylittle (Jan 8, 2006)

Get a big pot, put it over your head and whack it a couple of times with a metal spoon.

I forgot to get my friend a birthday present.


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## KittySkyfish (Jan 8, 2006)

Aren't you the same person who was found wandering in someone's yard? Oh, wait! Yes, you were, and last week the mall police drove you home because you started peeing in the planters. Trust me, forgetting your friend is the least of your concerns.

My husband wants to try a three-way and I'm scared. Help!


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## cottoncandy (Jan 8, 2006)

go for it!  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" /> make sure you videotape it too (ok not sure that was bad advice lol)

i cut my finger, help!


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## bluebird26 (Jan 8, 2006)

inmerse it in pee, it will help stop the bleeding and will heal fast!

My cat stained the carpet with a hairball  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />


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## Little_Lisa (Jan 9, 2006)

Pee on it. It will neutralize the stain.

I colored my own hair and the color didn't deposit all over evenly. What should I do now?


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## cottoncandy (Jan 9, 2006)

buy some oil paint and paint in the bits that didnt cover.

someone is breaking in to my house, help!


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## bluebird26 (Jan 9, 2006)

offer him some milk and cookies

My computer desk is too big for my bedroom


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## Squirrel27 (Jan 9, 2006)

Buy a bigger desk.

I just got a huge paper cut on my wrist, how can I get it to stop bleeding?


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## looooch (Jan 10, 2006)

grab a needle and stitch up the cut

i have greasy hair


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## litlbitprincess (Jan 10, 2006)

Try giving it a quick spray with pam.

Damn my nail broke


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## looooch (Jan 11, 2006)

rub your nail across a nice soft sweater

i cant swim


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## litlbitprincess (Jan 11, 2006)

You better stay in the deep end then.

My hair is blonde but my roots are grey


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## looooch (Jan 11, 2006)

get a mullet to distract from the 2 toned hair

I'm cold


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## litlbitprincess (Jan 11, 2006)

Sit on a block of ice.

I have a run in my stockings, now what?


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## schlemmerm3779 (Jan 11, 2006)

Pull at the run really hard, open hole pantyhose is really in, make your own pair of fishnets!

My poop keeps clogging the toilet what should I do?


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## litlbitprincess (Jan 11, 2006)

Try leaving it to see how long it stays clogged.

My hair is sticking up all the time?


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## Little_Lisa (Jan 12, 2006)

Cut off the hairs that are sticking up.

I have this friend who really stinks like tuna. I don't want to hurt her feelings but i'm tired of gagging and having to hold my breath when she's around. What should I do about this situation?


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## litlbitprincess (Jan 12, 2006)

I'd tell her straight up she smells like fish do something about it or get lost.

I was thinking of getting a waxing today but I am so scared?


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## Squirrel27 (Jan 12, 2006)

Try doing it yourself using a piece of duct tape.

This creepy guy keeps following me around. What should I do?


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## litlbitprincess (Jan 12, 2006)

Why not ask him on a date.


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## looooch (Jan 14, 2006)

my legs are sore


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## Squirrel27 (Jan 14, 2006)

Try running a mile.

My eyeshadow keeps fading. How can I make it last longer?


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## looooch (Jan 14, 2006)

Rub your eyes real hard, you will create a completely new shadow


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## Squirrel27 (Jan 14, 2006)

My period just started and I don't have any pads or tampons.


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## looooch (Jan 14, 2006)

just workout, the combo with the sweat will make it hardly noticeable

the filling in my tooth just came out


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## Squirrel27 (Jan 14, 2006)

try sticking tin foil in it.

my dog ran away.


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## looooch (Jan 14, 2006)

get the media involved, cry a bunch and hire a search and rescue team

my cat has a hairball


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## MACz.Addict (Jan 24, 2006)

Take that hairball and tape it up his tale!

I have a MAC addiction that can't stop, what should I do?


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## Squirrel27 (Jan 24, 2006)

Go to the mall and buy at least one of every MAC product. Then go to ebay and order all the stuff they didn't have in stores.

My job is so boring. What should I do to make it more fun?


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## KittySkyfish (Jan 25, 2006)

Try going in naked one day. You'll have lots of stimulating conversation for years to come.

I'm trying to come up with unique Halloween costumes for my daughter and son. Got any ideas?


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## litlbitprincess (Jan 26, 2006)

Why don't you dress them both up like a lipstick tube.

I want to streak my hair blonde but not sure the best way?


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## looooch (Jan 26, 2006)

they make yellow white out, you might want to try that

i want a lip piercing


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## Squirrel27 (Jan 26, 2006)

Try pouring Clorox bleach all over your head.

I'm trying to grow my nails long, but they keep breaking. How can I get them to grow?


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## litlbitprincess (Jan 26, 2006)

Go to a manicure place and get some clippings and glue them on. :icon_cool

I have no clue how to bake a pie?


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## KittySkyfish (Jan 26, 2006)

Make a crust out of corn starch and baby oil, fill the pie with whole oranges and bananas, add a two cups of salt, a tablespoon of tabasco and a teaspoon of sugar then bake at 500 degrees for ten hours. After the fire department puts out the fire, go to a Village Inn and buy a pie because you're too dumb to know how to bake in the first place!!

My doctor recommends that I drink lots of water each day, but I'm not sure how much is 'lots'? What does this mean?


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## Squirrel27 (Jan 26, 2006)

Go to the nearest public bathroom and drink all of the water in the toilets. If there are any puddles of water on the ground, drink those too.

My computer has a virus.


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## dragueur (Jan 29, 2006)

throw your computer away and buy a new one.

i'm hungry, what should i eat?


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## Squirrel27 (Jan 29, 2006)

Don't eat anything for a week.

My pen just ran out of ink.


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## Summer (Feb 6, 2006)

Poke your finger with a sewing needle, that way you can use your finger as a pen.

I have a serious headache, what do I do??


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## dragueur (Feb 8, 2006)

bang ur head on the wall until it bleeds and drink vodka after.

what am i going to wear to the wedding later?


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## Summer (Feb 8, 2006)

Wear the same dress that the bride is wearing.

I think I twisted my ankle, what do I do??


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## katisha (Feb 8, 2006)

Cut it off, there won't be an ankle to twist anymore. Easy!

What can I do to reduce my severe insomnia?


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## Squirrel27 (Feb 8, 2006)

Drink a lot of coffee and listen to loud music.

It's my grandmother's 100th birthday. What kind of present should I get her?


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## katisha (Feb 9, 2006)

A voucher for a sex shop.

There is loud noise outside, the neighbours are going crazy. How to shut them up?


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## dragueur (Feb 9, 2006)

throw a granade, so there wont be a noisy neighbors for the rest of ur life!

my boyfriend dump me, what should i do?


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## Little_Lisa (Feb 9, 2006)

Become a lesbian.

I'm addicted to MUT and I spend all my time on here so i'm not getting any work done around my house. What should I do?


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## Ley (Feb 9, 2006)

Turn on some loud Kelly Clarkson (sorry fans!!)

I locked myself out of my car, what should I do?


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## katisha (Feb 9, 2006)

Smash through the car window with your head.

I have a blemish/pimple on my cheek, how to get rid of it?


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## Summer (Feb 9, 2006)

cut it out with your finger nail

I can't fit into my pants anymore, what do I do?


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## katisha (Feb 9, 2006)

Walk around in your panties.

I'm tired but not sleepy, what to do?


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## Summer (Feb 9, 2006)

Drink a lot of coffee

My feel itchy, what do I do??


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## katisha (Feb 9, 2006)

Scratch it with one of these:







or these:






I'm hungry, what should I get from the fridge before I hop into bed?


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## Summer (Feb 9, 2006)

LMAO!! That was great!!! LOL

I suggest you eat something surgary like half a cheese cake with coffee.

I locked my keys in the car, what do I do??


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## Squirrel27 (Feb 9, 2006)

Get a baseball bat and break your car window. Then reach in and get the keys.

Someone stole my purse.


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## katisha (Feb 10, 2006)

Thanks *summer*!  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

Track them down and hang them by their testicles or nipples from a tall building on a butcher's hook.

Instead of buying a replacement purse, use a garbage bag.

My eyes are red and sore, how can I make them feel better?


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## dragueur (Feb 10, 2006)

get a very cold water and pour it over your eyes until the soreness disappears

my feet smells, wat should i do?  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />


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## katisha (Feb 10, 2006)

Lick them.

My mascara is running out, any ideas on what to do?  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />


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## dragueur (Feb 10, 2006)

put starch and some water and mix well  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

i have a toothache, what shud i do?


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## Ley (Feb 10, 2006)

Pull out all of your teeth!!

I hate my new haircut, what should I do?


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## Squirrel27 (Feb 10, 2006)

Shave your head.

I just got a huge black stain on my white pants.


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## dragueur (Feb 11, 2006)

cut the stain part of ur parts with a razor.

i'm homesick, what should i do?


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## Squirrel27 (Feb 11, 2006)

Drive as far away from your home as possible.

I lost my favorite lipstick.


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## dragueur (Feb 11, 2006)

get a red crayola and use that as your lipstick

i have dandruff, what should i do?


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## Squirrel27 (Feb 11, 2006)

Don't wash your hair for six months.

My stomach hurts. How can I make it feel better?


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## dragueur (Feb 12, 2006)

dont eat anything for a month

I have breast cancer, what shud i do?


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## katisha (Feb 12, 2006)

Go explore Chernobyl.

My toenail polish is taking a long time to dry, what to do?


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## Squirrel27 (Feb 12, 2006)

pour water all over it.

my eyeshadow keeps fading. how can i make it last longer?


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## dragueur (Feb 13, 2006)

put on elmer's glue

i failed in my test, what should i do?


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## katisha (Feb 13, 2006)

Write about it on your forehead with permanent ink.

I want some coffee but am too lazy to make it. How to solve this?


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## Ley (Feb 13, 2006)

Eat a spoonful of instant coffee followed by a cup of water - it will mix in your stomach!

I dropped my laptop. What should I do??


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## katisha (Feb 13, 2006)

Urinate on it and sprinkle with salt. Then bake at 220 degrees for 45 mins. Serve with more salt.

My tummy hurts, what to do?


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## Ley (Feb 13, 2006)

Eat oysters followed by 50 profiteroles. Put on a tight corset and do bellyflops on a tramploine for half an hour. Should do the trick :icon_wink

I can't find my car keys, what should I do?


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## dragueur (Feb 13, 2006)

buy a new car so u dont have to find your lost key  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

My husband is cheating on me, what should i do?


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## katisha (Feb 13, 2006)

Tape his male organ to a rusty grater, like this one:







...and put a mix of finely ground chillies, laxatives and rat poison in his coffee every morning. Not enough to kill him, but enough to thank you for your efforts in many monosyllabic words.  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

My table is messy, what should I do?


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## Ley (Feb 13, 2006)

LOL to the above ^^^

Pour thick pink emulsion paint all over it and empty a packet of sawdust on top of that.

I have a nosy neighbour - what should I do?


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## katisha (Feb 13, 2006)

Castrate them with this:






That way they'll have more important things to worry about than your business.  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

I want more makeup but not sure what suits me. What to do?


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## Squirrel27 (Feb 13, 2006)

Go to the store all buy all of the make up they have.

I have to print some very important papers, but my printer is out of ink. What should I do?


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## dragueur (Feb 14, 2006)

write everything you need to print

my lips are chapped, what should i do?


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## katisha (Feb 14, 2006)

Brush them with this until they're red raw:







My hair is wet and is taking ages to dry, what to do?


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## eightthirty (Feb 14, 2006)

Put your head in the oven.

My friend calls me 6 times a day, every day.


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## Ley (Feb 14, 2006)

Throw all of your phones in the toilet

My cat is stuck in a tree, what to do?


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## katisha (Feb 14, 2006)

Shake it out of the tree.

I have a headache, how to get rid of it?


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## Ley (Feb 14, 2006)

Hit your head with a hammer a few times

My car gets a parking ticket - what to do?


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## Lia (Feb 14, 2006)

Make a satanic ritual with it cursing the policeman who charged you

I have only 3 dollars in my purse, what should i do?


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## Ley (Feb 14, 2006)

Mug the 7ft bodybuilder who is passing by

I want a shower but the hot water won't come on - what to do?


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## Squirrel27 (Feb 14, 2006)

Pour some gasoline in your bathtub and set it on fire.

My nail broke, what should I do?


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## Little_Lisa (Feb 14, 2006)

Break all the rest of them so they will look the same.

What's the most tactful way to tell someone that their breath stinks?


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## eightthirty (Feb 14, 2006)

Take a sniff real close to their mouth and pretend you've passed out and fall too the floor.

I can't stand my coworkers incessant whining.


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## Squirrel27 (Feb 14, 2006)

Get a huge bottle of wine and pour it down their throats everytime they start whining.

I want to visit my friend in Europe, but I can't afford an airplane ticket. What should I do?


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## eightthirty (Feb 14, 2006)

Swim.

(Ooops forgot a problem).

My son hates doing homework. How can I make him more interested?


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## Squirrel27 (Feb 14, 2006)

Buy him a new toy everytime he does his homework.

My watch just broke. How can I tell what time it is?


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## eightthirty (Feb 14, 2006)

Call NASA.

I find myself having to urinate frequently. I have cut down my fluid intake. What should I do?


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## Squirrel27 (Feb 14, 2006)

Put on a diaper.

My boyfriend forgot that today is Valentine's Day. What should I do?


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## eightthirty (Feb 14, 2006)

Shoot an arrow at his a$$. If you don't have one handy you can shoot red paintballs at him.

I'm out of clean underwear.


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## Squirrel27 (Feb 15, 2006)

Steal some from your coworkers.

I just heard a really good song and want to buy the CD, but I have no idea who sings it. How can I find out?


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## Ley (Feb 15, 2006)

grab every customer in your local supermarket and sing it to them loudly (don't worry about spit in their face). Pay $10 000 to the person who knows the singer.

My computer mouse doesn't work - what to do


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## katisha (Feb 15, 2006)

Strangle yourself with its cord.

My nails won't grow, how to fix this?


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## Squirrel27 (Feb 15, 2006)

Rub fertilizer all over your hands.

I need to send a letter, but I don't have any stamps. What should I do?


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## katisha (Feb 15, 2006)

Glue the postage amount in coins onto the envelope and send it like that.

I am too lazy to make coffee, what to do?


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## Ley (Feb 16, 2006)

chew the coffee beans raw and wash down with boiling water

my heel broke off my stiletto, what to do?


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## Squirrel27 (Feb 16, 2006)

Break the heel off the other one so they'll be the same.

I lost my glasses and can't see without them. What should I do?


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## Ley (Feb 17, 2006)

Walk down a long flight of steps, get into your car and drive off, stop at the highway and proceed to cross it on foot with your hands waving around.

i'm locked out of my house - what to do


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## dragueur (Feb 17, 2006)

burn down the house so u can get out and never be locked again  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

my phone is not working, what should i do?


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## Ley (Feb 17, 2006)

Cut the telephone wire, throw it out of the window, put glue in all the phone sockets and travel to the house of _everyone _you want to speak to.

My back is itchy - what to do


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## Squirrel27 (Feb 17, 2006)

Put some mosquitoes on it.

My little sister is annoying me. What should I do?


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## Ley (Feb 17, 2006)

Put itching powder in her clothes and bed

I ran over an animal - what to do?


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## Squirrel27 (Feb 17, 2006)

Pick it up, take it home, and cook it for dinner.

My best friend keeps talking about me behind my back. What should I do?


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## dragueur (Feb 18, 2006)

go to her home and shut her mouth with a gun.

I'm so hot right now, what should i do?


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## Squirrel27 (Feb 18, 2006)

Put on a big fur coat and set your house on fire.

I want to dye my hair. What color should I make it?


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## Ley (Feb 18, 2006)

_permanent _black and yellow stripes like a bumblebee with florescent pink at the ends

There's a fire in my kitchen - what to do


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## dragueur (Feb 18, 2006)

get some whisky and pour it on the fire

i can't find my wallet, what should i do?


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## Ley (Feb 18, 2006)

break into your neighbour's home and take theirs instead

My cat has ran away- what should I do?


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## Squirrel27 (Feb 18, 2006)

Call the police and the army. Make them search all over until they find your cat.

My neighbors are so noisy when I'm trying to sleep. How can I make them stop?


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## Ley (Feb 19, 2006)

Set their house on fire so they have to move out

Last minute guests are coming for dinner but we have no food - what to serve them?


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## katisha (Feb 19, 2006)

Serve them with whatever your pets have excreted over the last couple of days, with kitty litter and everything. Tell them that it's exotic mongolian/czechoslovakian/icelandic food. They'll love it.

I have work to do but can't be bothered, what to do?


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## dragueur (Feb 19, 2006)

pop 1 tablet of sleeping pill and sleep the whole day

there are lots of mosquitoes here, what should i do?


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## katisha (Feb 19, 2006)

Open your mouth so that they can fly in and get stuck on your tongue.

My Photoshop is making my laptop hang, what to do?


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## Squirrel27 (Feb 19, 2006)

Throw your laptop away and buy a new one.

My dog keeps attacking the mailman. What should I do?


----------



## dragueur (Feb 20, 2006)

kill your dog and serve it on your next meal....it should be yummy!  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

I havnt paid my credit card bills yet and its overdue, what should i do?


----------



## katisha (Feb 20, 2006)

Murder your relatives and take all their savings and use that to pay some of the CC bills. Spend the rest.

My nails keep breaking off, how to keep them from doing this?


----------



## Squirrel27 (Feb 20, 2006)

Bite them off.

I have to go out, but I can't find my shoes, what should I do?


----------



## dragueur (Feb 21, 2006)

go out w/o no shoes, just ur bare feet.

my eyes are red, what should i do?


----------



## katisha (Feb 21, 2006)

Put a few drops of lemon juice or vinegar into each eye.

My finger is bleeding, what to do?


----------



## Squirrel27 (Feb 21, 2006)

Cut your finger off with scissors.

I want to lose some weight. What should I do?


----------



## katisha (Feb 21, 2006)

Eat fast food every day for every meal and reduce your activity levels.

I'm sleepy but I just got up, what to do?


----------



## dragueur (Feb 22, 2006)

drink 10 shots of espresso

my scalp is itchy, what should i do?


----------



## katisha (Feb 22, 2006)

Scratch it with this:







...and then wash your hair with this:






If symptoms persist, scratch really hard with this until itchiness is gone:






My lips are dry, should I apply lipbalm or...?


----------



## dragueur (Feb 22, 2006)

lol...ouchy!!  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

put mighty bond on your lips so it'll be sealed forever and wont be itchy for the rest of your life.

my dog is sick, what should i do?


----------



## katisha (Feb 22, 2006)

Ahahahah might help with my talking as well.  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

Since your dog is sick anyway, grow a human organ on his back as a scientific experiment, like this:






How to get my mind off things that worry me?


----------



## Little_Lisa (Feb 22, 2006)

Have a lobotomy.

How can I get rid of my warts?


----------



## Squirrel27 (Feb 22, 2006)

Rub dog poop all over them.

My legs are so hairy. How can I remove the hairs?


----------



## katisha (Feb 23, 2006)

With your teeth.

I can't find a lobotomy clinic, what to do?


----------



## Squirrel27 (Feb 23, 2006)

Do a lobotomy yourself.

My nose is bleeding. What should I do?


----------



## katisha (Feb 24, 2006)

Shove tampons up your nostrils.

I haven't washed the dishes, what should I do?


----------



## Squirrel27 (Feb 24, 2006)

Throw them out the window and buy new dishes.

A woman at my work is so rude to me, what to do?


----------



## katisha (Feb 24, 2006)

Poke her eyes out with a fork.

It's very hot and humid here, what to do?


----------



## KISKA (Feb 24, 2006)

Put on a winter coat with heating pads under your clothes.

My vagina is too hairy?


----------



## Squirrel27 (Feb 24, 2006)

Dye the hairs bright purple.

What should I wear for my job interview?


----------



## KISKA (Feb 24, 2006)

Crotchless panties, elf shoes, polka dot wig with a lots of asparagus glued on top, with a barney knapsack and hello kitty necklace.

I want to break up with my boyfriend but I don't want to hurt his feelings, what to do?


----------



## Squirrel27 (Feb 24, 2006)

Shoot him in the head while he's sleeping.

My teeth are so yellow, how can I make them whiter?


----------



## Ley (Feb 27, 2006)

Throw away your toothbrush and eat turmeric paste follwed by 10 cups of strong black coffee everyday for the rest of your life.

I can't get a loan I desperately need, what to do?


----------



## Kelly (Feb 27, 2006)

Squirrel27: "Shoot him in the head while he's sleeping".....sorry my quote didn't work......YCMUSFB (you crack me up so flippin bad....). Some of these are sooooo funny, that I am literally crying.

Ley: go down town and put on your sexiest clothes and pimp yourself away and if that's not enough....it should be plenty....but you could pimp your body at a bank and rob them blind....they will be so blinded when you rip off your clothes they will have no idea they are being robbed. If that fails, go to your nearest drug dealer and make a deal with him/her. If that fails....tell the bank you are NOT desparate and they will for sure give you money. And if that fails.....ummmm kill yourself.

My hands, wrists and arms hurt and I think I'm getting carpal tunnel....what should I do?


----------



## Squirrel27 (Feb 27, 2006)

Ask this nurse to give you some medicine:







My computer has a virus, what should I do?


----------



## Kelly (Feb 27, 2006)

Give it some motrin, then take it's temperature every hour until it feels better.

My phones ringing, what am I to do?


----------



## Squirrel27 (Feb 28, 2006)

Throw it out the window.

There's no more toilet paper in my bathroom, what to do?


----------



## katisha (Feb 28, 2006)

Use high-quality sandpaper, it will exfoliate your butt well:






I have lots of emails to reply to, what to do?


----------



## Kelly (Feb 28, 2006)

Delete them all....solves all your problems and now you can play on MUT.

My 3 year old daughter just wrote all over herself with ink pen, what to do?


----------



## Squirrel27 (Feb 28, 2006)

Color her whole body with the same colored ink so that no one will notice what she wrote.

My car has a flat tire, what to do?


----------



## Kelly (Feb 28, 2006)

That was not the best advice I ever had...I mean it was or...

Your flat tire.....ummmm heres a quarter, call someone who cares.....I mean.....drive it like that anyways, cuz it is much more interesting.

EDIT: Oh shoot, I'm an idiot and forgot to post a question, what should I do?


----------



## KISKA (Mar 1, 2006)

Pull all your teeth out to punish yourself so you never forget again.

How can I get this hot guy on a street to ask me out?


----------



## Little_Lisa (Mar 1, 2006)

Dress up like a hooker and go stand on his street corner.

I have a peeping tom outside my window. Help! What should I do?


----------



## Squirrel27 (Mar 1, 2006)

Show him your boobs.

The mailman broke my package, what should I do?


----------



## KISKA (Mar 2, 2006)

The next time you see him, throw a cement block at his penis.

I became a hooker, I want out but my pimp won't let me. Help?


----------



## beaugael (Mar 3, 2006)

so then hook him too...

i cant stand away from my pc wat shud i do?


----------



## dragueur (Mar 3, 2006)

throw your PC

my printer is not working, what should i do?


----------



## beaugael (Mar 3, 2006)

dont be reliant on machines girl, just write it down...


----------



## Little_Lisa (Jun 15, 2006)

Someone isn't following directions. What should I do to her for killing my thread?


----------



## AnnaBelle (Jun 15, 2006)

Cut her hands off so she can't type anymore.

My big toe is shorter than all my other toes. What should I do?


----------



## zombies8myheart (Jun 15, 2006)

Cut the tip off...

my house is on fire... what should I do?


----------



## KISKA (Jun 15, 2006)

throw gasoline and run inside and hold on to you favourite couch to prevent it from burning.

Some guy outside keeps screeming, what to do?


----------



## AnnaBelle (Jun 16, 2006)

Shove something down his throat so he'll stop!!

My fiancee hasn't called me all day. What should I do?


----------



## zombies8myheart (Jun 16, 2006)

Keep calling his work and get him in trouble.

My shower is broken... what should I do?


----------



## KISKA (Jun 16, 2006)

pretend it still works and shampoo your hair, do everything as usual.

I got a parking ticket, what should I do?


----------



## AnnaBelle (Jun 16, 2006)

Take the parking ticket and shove it up the cop's behind and refuse to pay it.

I lost my wallet. What should I do?


----------



## KISKA (Jun 16, 2006)

Sounds like good advice to me!^

Go to the doctor and ask him to check your anus since you think your anus might have swallowed your wallet when you weren't looking.

I am getting perverted emails. what to do?


----------



## AnnaBelle (Jun 16, 2006)

The last time I got a ticket, I soooooo wanted to do that! lol

Email the person back, and tell them what a freak you are in the bed!

My cell phone is a piece of poo. What should I do about it?


----------



## zombies8myheart (Jun 17, 2006)

Throw it in the toilet... and see if it works better.

My friend is having boyfriend problems... what should I do?


----------



## monniej (Jun 23, 2006)

take him home to meet her mother.

i have 10 parking tickets, what should i do?


----------



## Aquilah (Jun 23, 2006)

Throw them in your glove compartment and hope the police forget about them!

I can't breathe, what should I do?


----------



## zombies8myheart (Jun 24, 2006)

go swim underwater until you pass out.

I'm allergic to apples, what should I do?


----------



## makeupfreak72 (Jun 24, 2006)

eat a bag full until you become immune to them!

my air conditioner doesnt work and its 100 degrees what do i do?


----------



## Aquilah (Jun 25, 2006)

Turn on the stove, and leave the door open so the heat can circulate better!

I'm out of sugar for my coffee, what should I do?


----------



## KISKA (Jun 25, 2006)

Use salt Instead.

The kids keep knocking on my door and then running away, what to do?


----------



## Aquilah (Jun 25, 2006)

Put a layer of super glue all over the door so their hands get stuck the next time they knock.

My dog keeps biting me, what should I do?


----------



## -Liz- (Jul 1, 2006)

put your hand inside his mouth

i stubbed my toe what should i do?


----------



## Aquilah (Jul 1, 2006)

Stub it again and see if it feels better

I burned the turkey and can't make another one in time, what should I do?


----------



## pla4u (Jul 4, 2006)

Spray paint it so nobody can see its burned...

I have a flat tire on my car....what can I do?


----------



## Aquilah (Jul 4, 2006)

Keep on driving it at accelerated speeds. Maybe the passing air will reinflate it!

I have an ear infection, what should I do?


----------



## pla4u (Jul 5, 2006)

ear infection? thats easy to fix put some string in your ear and lite the end , it will burn of the excess ear wax like a candle....

my neighbor borowed my clothes iron, now I have to iron a shirt what should I do?


----------



## Aquilah (Jul 5, 2006)

Go steal your neighbor's ironing board so they have to give back the iron!

I just got poison ivy, what should I do?


----------



## monniej (Jul 6, 2006)

keep scratching until it burns

i have a bald spot on my head i can't seem to cover, what should i do?


----------



## Aquilah (Jul 6, 2006)

Try spray painting it to see if that helps

I just got nail polish remover in my eyes, what should I do?


----------



## pla4u (Jul 6, 2006)

rinse them out with plenty of clorox bleach...

my oven is smoking really bad , the pot roast has only been cooking at 600 for 10hours, what should I do???


----------



## Aquilah (Jul 7, 2006)

Leave it in a little longer, and the smoke should go away.

I spilled red wine all over my white carpet, what should I do?


----------



## pla4u (Jul 7, 2006)

try to sponge it up and put it back in the bottle...

the bathtub is overflowing what should I do??


----------



## goddess13 (Jul 7, 2006)

Jump in it!

I just ate some strawberries and I am allergic to them....


----------



## Aquilah (Jul 7, 2006)

Eat some more and hope you become accustomed to them and the allergy goes away.

The engine in my car is about to blow because in five years I haven't changed the oil, what shoud I do?


----------



## mylaiva (Jul 12, 2006)

hmmm, change the tires, that should work.

I was just bitten by a vampire! What should I do?


----------



## pla4u (Jul 12, 2006)

Why you just bite them right back girl!

my big toe is stuck in the bathtub faucet! What should I do?


----------



## mylaiva (Jul 12, 2006)

cut it off, that's what i'd do.

my contact just fell on the ground, what should i do?


----------



## pla4u (Jul 12, 2006)

clean it with a solution of comet and clorox and pop it right back in...

I just locked my keys in the car in Wallmart parking lot and my dress is cought in the door! what should I do?


----------



## -Liz- (Jul 12, 2006)

take off the dress and ride away on a shopping cart!

i have a headache, what should i do?


----------



## pla4u (Jul 12, 2006)

hummm, probubly to much blood to the brain, Tie a tourniquet around your neck that should take care of it.

Im stuck on the freewaw in a trafic jam, what should I do??


----------



## mylaiva (Jul 12, 2006)

Just get out and walk to your destination, you'll get there faster

I just caught by boyfriend cheating, what should I do?


----------



## Aquilah (Jul 13, 2006)

Let him finish gettin' his from whoever she is, and then go cuddle him.

I lost my wedding ring, and my husband will kill me if he finds out, what should I do?


----------



## mylaiva (Jul 13, 2006)

tell him that you lost cuz u took it off cuz u didn't want the guy you're cheating on him with to know ur married.

I just used the restroom and there's no more tissue, what should i do?


----------



## Aquilah (Jul 13, 2006)

Use someone's bath towel, but don't tell them you did it

I lost my neighbor's only house key, and she comes back from vacation today, what should I do?


----------



## mylaiva (Jul 13, 2006)

let her have your key and your house. that should make her happy.

I've fallen and I can't get up, what should i do?


----------



## Aquilah (Jul 13, 2006)

Stay where you are... Someone will find you sometime soon

I lost $2000 cash, and it was for rent and bills, what should I do?


----------



## mylaiva (Jul 13, 2006)

rob a bank, then pay your bills with the money you stole

i have a pimple on my nose, what should i do?


----------



## pla4u (Jul 13, 2006)

ware a red rubber clown nose till it goes away...noody will notice the pimple then...

the neighbors dog keeps barking whenever I work in the yard, what should I do?


----------



## Little_Lisa (Jul 13, 2006)

Throw him a stick of dynamite disguised as a bone.

My neighbor just blew my dog up! What can I do to get even?


----------



## Aquilah (Jul 13, 2006)

Blow his car and house up. That should even the score...

I lost my thesis, and it's due today! What should I do?


----------



## -Liz- (Jul 13, 2006)

hand in a bunch of blank pages, and maybe the teacher will write it himself

my dog bit my brother what should he do?


----------



## pla4u (Jul 13, 2006)

tell your brother to pour beef gravy all over himself to act as a dog repelant

the police are knocking on my front door..what should I do?


----------



## mylaiva (Jul 13, 2006)

go outside waving a gun in your hand, they should stop knocking once they see u

i just lost my voice from screaming too loudly, what should i do?


----------



## Aquilah (Jul 14, 2006)

Keep screaming, it should get better soon

I just dropped tea into my hard drive, what should I do?


----------



## mylaiva (Jul 14, 2006)

get a straw and just suck it out

i have cramps, what should i do?


----------



## Aquilah (Jul 15, 2006)

Take 5 Tylenol every hour on the hour until you feel better

I just ran over my neighbor's cat; what should I do?


----------



## mylaiva (Jul 17, 2006)

absolutely nothing, they'll see it on the ground eventually and take care of it.

i just burned my hand on the stove, what should i do?


----------



## Aquilah (Jul 17, 2006)

Pour oil on it to stop the pain

I just cheated on my husband, what should I do?


----------



## pla4u (Jul 17, 2006)

bring a hooker home for him to play with...

i drove my car into the lake , what should I do?


----------



## -Liz- (Jul 17, 2006)

leave it there it might miss you and find its way home

i have no more clean clothes what do i do!


----------



## pla4u (Jul 17, 2006)

turn them all inside out and ware the other side!

I got locked inside Victorias Secret store at closing time what should I do?


----------



## Aquilah (Jul 18, 2006)

Put on as much as possible and sneak it all out when the store opens!

I put too much salt in the food, what should I do?


----------



## pla4u (Jul 19, 2006)

Just pop in in the washer with your next load of laundy to wash it off..

The IRS wants me to pay my back taxes, what should I do?


----------



## Aquilah (Jul 19, 2006)

Tell them you're already paying your current taxes, and that's double-dipping!

I accidentally bleached my boss' favorite suit, what should I do?


----------



## pla4u (Jul 19, 2006)

Just tell Him he looks much better in white...

I got my hand cought in a vending machine, what should I do?


----------



## Aquilah (Jul 20, 2006)

Ask someone for a knife and just cut your hand off... That'll work!

I just burned my tongue on hot pizza; what should I do?


----------



## -Liz- (Jul 20, 2006)

heat the pizza up more and try again!

the birds near my house wake me up everymorning! what do i do?


----------



## Aquilah (Jul 21, 2006)

Wake up before you expect the birds to start chirping, and shoot them with a BB gun

I keyed my ex's car, and he'll know it was me, what should I do?


----------



## pla4u (Jul 21, 2006)

wipe off the key marks with a brick....

I fell into a well...what shall I do?


----------



## Aquilah (Jul 21, 2006)

Enjoy yourself and start swimming!

I broke my leg and I have a dance recital tomorrow; what should I do?


----------



## pla4u (Jul 21, 2006)

Dance on the other leg ...DUH!

Cant seem to get my dress zipped up in the back...what shal I do?


----------



## Aquilah (Jul 21, 2006)

Just leave it open, no one will notice!

I ripped a hole in the crotch of my pants, and I can't leave work! What should I do?


----------



## pla4u (Jul 21, 2006)

pull the fire alarm to clear the building and leave durring all the excitment,

I dropped my lipstick down the drain arter doing just my upper lip...what should i do??


----------



## mylaiva (Jul 24, 2006)

do the bottom lip with a different color, nobody will notice

i'm having a heart attack, what should i do?


----------



## Aquilah (Jul 24, 2006)

Drink a glass of butter, that should help ease the pain at least

I'm drunk and don't have a designated driver, what should I do?


----------



## mylaiva (Jul 24, 2006)

Just walk home, that will be much safer.

I'm in the mall parking lot and I can't remember where I parked my car. what should I do?


----------



## monniej (Jul 24, 2006)

grab the first one you see and make tracks!

i just got a call from my ex. should i tell me husband?


----------



## pla4u (Jul 25, 2006)

of course tell him he made all kinds of sexual advances to you..

my washing machine is bouncing around and spraying soapy water everywher! what should I do?


----------



## mylaiva (Jul 26, 2006)

hmmm, go get a bucket and save the soapy water to drink later on.

My nose is bleeding, what should i do?


----------



## monniej (Jul 27, 2006)

keep wiping it with the sleeve of your favorite blouse until it stops.

i ordered shoes and they're a size too small, what should i do?


----------



## mylaiva (Jul 28, 2006)

cut off your toes, then they should fit

i'm having an asthma attack and i can't find my inhaler, what should i do?


----------



## Aquilah (Aug 1, 2006)

Try smoking a cigarette and see if that helps!

I just burned out part of my hair ironing it with the iron, what should I do?!


----------



## pla4u (Aug 1, 2006)

Try cleaning out the burned hair with bleach to get the smell out..

I just locked myself out of the house in my skimpy nite gown, what should I do?


----------



## Aquilah (Aug 2, 2006)

Show off for a local locksmith, he should do it for free if you show him the goods!

I just locked myself IN the house! What should I do?


----------



## pla4u (Aug 2, 2006)

climb out a window and up on the roof snd start jumping around and yelling a lot to get some help...

My rental boat died in the middle of the lake ...what should I do?


----------



## Aquilah (Aug 2, 2006)

Just sit back and relax. They'll never miss the boat!

I accidentally added onion to my casserole, and my MIL is allergic. What should I do?


----------



## michko970 (Aug 2, 2006)

just give her red wine to down the meal with... she'll never notice!

I spilled bleach all over my family's laundry... what to do?


----------



## mylaiva (Aug 3, 2006)

soak the clothes in red dye to add some color back to their clothes

i lost my son in the store, what should i do?


----------



## michko970 (Aug 4, 2006)

Go home and take a relaxing bubblebath, read a book, and get in some quality "me time." He will find his way home.

My boss has asked me to work overtime when I had previously scheduled a romantic dinner with boyfriend. what do I tell him?


----------



## pla4u (Aug 4, 2006)

Tell him he needs to go get F***ed, cus thats what your doing...

EEKKkkkk Im eating dinner in a fancy reasteraunt and iI think a bug got in my blouse! what should I do?


----------



## michko970 (Aug 5, 2006)

Just strip off your blouse at the table, make sure to take off all undergarments as well. Oh and don't forget to call as much attention to yourself as possible, so perhaps mangement will comp. your meal.

While shopping at my local drugstore I see someone stealing , what should I do?


----------



## pla4u (Aug 6, 2006)

hand them a couple things you want and tell them to meet you in the parking lot...

I just saw a co-worker cheeting on there SO...what should I do?


----------



## Nox (Aug 9, 2006)

Check on that person to see if they are actually with a person hot enough to be worthy of cheating with.

It's about that time of month again for auntie flo, and I am just soo gassy? What should I do?


----------



## Aquilah (Aug 16, 2006)

Keep a can of aerosol hairspray and a lighter handy to make sure people know!

I spilled motor oil on my carpet. What should I do?


----------



## pla4u (Aug 16, 2006)

clean it out with gas and a hairdrier

I superglued my fingers to yhe beer mug I was fixing, what should I do?


----------



## mylaiva (Aug 19, 2006)

Just cut your hand off, DUH!

I think my water just broke, what should I do?


----------



## pla4u (Aug 19, 2006)

mop it up and run to Publix and pic up another gallon...

My dog just swollowed my cel phone! what should I do?


----------



## Aquilah (Aug 20, 2006)

Feed him laxatives, get it back, and keep on usin' it!

I just ran over my daughter's bicycle; what should I do?


----------



## goddess13 (Aug 20, 2006)

Keep on running over it.

The road is wet. How fast should I drive?


----------



## pla4u (Aug 20, 2006)

Fast enough to spin all the water off your tires

They want to serch me at the airport what should I do?


----------



## mylaiva (Aug 21, 2006)

resist and scream and cause a commotion. they'll let you pass eventually.

i just started my period a week early and I need a tampon, what should i do


----------



## ForeverPink (Oct 11, 2006)

Dont worry, eat it tomorrow too and the problem will go away

I dont have enough make up, what should I do?


----------



## Little_Lisa (Oct 11, 2006)

:undwech:

Steal some.

My dog tore into the trash outside and ate a bunch of old leftovers and now her belly looks likes it gonna pop and it gurgling...(this is a true story, too!) Is she gonna be okay? What should I do?


----------



## pla4u (Oct 11, 2006)

feed your doggie a bunch of X-Lax and lock him in your bedroom till hes better..

a well known maried polititian keeps making passes at me what should I do???


----------



## flychick767 (Oct 16, 2006)

Wear a tape recorder, get him on tape, and then offer to sell the tape to him for $10,000 or it goes to the news.

I bumped a car in the parking lot ( no damage ), what should I do?


----------



## bluebird26 (Oct 16, 2006)

Bump it again until there is damage and run away

I got a sty (lol)


----------



## -Liz- (Oct 19, 2006)

see if you can worsen it and apply to guiness book of world records

i hit the neighboors cat what should i do?


----------



## bluebird26 (Oct 21, 2006)

Bury it on your neighbour's garden.

I ran out of gas while driving


----------



## pla4u (Oct 22, 2006)

just fill it up with the nearest garden hose..

this guy keeps giving me flowers and asking me out ...what should I do?


----------



## janetsbreeze (Oct 23, 2006)

tell him to take the flowers back to the cemetary.

i am up for a promotion. how do i talk to my boss about it?


----------



## BrazenBrunhilda (Oct 23, 2006)

Tell your boss you are willing to kill off the co-workers who are up for the same promotion. For a fee.

I have a really long hair growing out of my nose. How do I get rid of it?


----------



## pla4u (Oct 23, 2006)

GET RID OF IT???NO NO!!

Curl it , color it and tie a pretty bow on it!

Im having dinner and my bra strap broke now Im sagging really bad on the left! what should I do????


----------



## BrazenBrunhilda (Oct 23, 2006)

Break the other strap so you are sagging on both sides.

I was eating dinner with a crowd of co-workers at a fancy restuarant when I sneezed a big loogy on my blouse. What should I do?


----------



## pla4u (Oct 23, 2006)

pull off your blouse and give it to the waiter to go have it cleaned now you can eat your meal without woriing about dribbling gravy on your blouse too!

I'm watching a play and I KNOW a bug just crawed up my dress!!!

What should I do!!!!?????


----------



## BrazenBrunhilda (Oct 23, 2006)

Ask the burly, hairy, and sweaty man sitting next to you to lift your skirt and search for the bug until he finds it. When he does, ask him to slap you silly in order to squish it.

I have a weeping red rash on my buttocks. I have to go to a pool party later in the day. What should I do to conceal it?


----------



## Shelley (Oct 23, 2006)

Dump iodine all over it to make it really burn and then smear concealer all over it.

My neighbour has a loud motorcycle, pulls in at 2am every night, awakens me, what should I do?


----------



## BrazenBrunhilda (Oct 23, 2006)

Shoot him and steal his bike.

I got gum in my hair. What should I do?


----------



## pla4u (Oct 23, 2006)

Wear eye shadow the same shade as the gum so it looks like it belongs there

I have gas reeeeeelly bad and have to ride a crouded elevator up 20 floors (real noisy TOOTs too) what should I do?


----------



## BrazenBrunhilda (Oct 23, 2006)

Hum to the beat of the farts and tap your feet in time...then laugh manically like a crazy person during the chorus. Maybe someone will join in with the melody!

Whenever I hear a bell ring, I pee on the floor. What should I do?


----------



## pla4u (Oct 23, 2006)

Wear rubber boots so you dont get your feet wet..

I need to go to the grocery store but can't find my car keys ehat should I do?


----------



## BrazenBrunhilda (Oct 23, 2006)

Carjack someone.

My husband often farts and sticks my head under the covers until I pass out. What should I do?


----------



## pla4u (Oct 24, 2006)

get even save up a really wicked fart and sit on his face!

I want to try on this reallllllyy sexy reveling nighty but the changing rooms are all taken, what should I do?


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## BrazenBrunhilda (Oct 24, 2006)

Drop trough and change right there in the middle of the store. When mall security comes to stop you, streak down the mall in your birthday suit!

I was trying on a shirt three sizes too small in the local Women's Big and Tall store and now I can't get the blasted thing off. What do I do?


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## janetsbreeze (Oct 25, 2006)

do your version of the Village People's "In The Navy" until they call security or throw you out.

i haven't slept in 8 days and am soooo tired. what should i do?


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## pla4u (Oct 25, 2006)

Take a nice long drive to try to fall asleep that works for me!

I have to go to the courthouse for jury duty but the only clean clothes I have is my nitegown or my sexy cop halloween costume...what should I do?


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## ArcEnCiel (Oct 25, 2006)

Since those are the only clean clothes that you have, i would reccommend that you go naked.

My head is wedged between the desk and computer - What to do.


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## pla4u (Oct 25, 2006)

just make sure you can still se the monitor and reach the mouse and keeyboard, you dont really need your head for anything else....

I went to jury duty naked and got arrested !! WHAT SHOULD I DO?


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## janetsbreeze (Oct 26, 2006)

make sure you are extra EXTRA friendly with your cell mate, Bad Betty

i was just bitten by a poisonous snake. what should i do?


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## pla4u (Oct 26, 2006)

take two asprin drink plenty of fluidsand bite that snake back so he knows how it feels

My cell mate Bad Betty keeps trieing to share my bunk at nite...what should I do?


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## janetsbreeze (Oct 28, 2006)

sleep in her bunk since it's empty!

i am meeting my internet crush, what should i wear?


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## Anatevka (Oct 28, 2006)

nothing! that way you can avoid that weird, akward "nice to meet you" garbage and get straight down to business.

i think my boyfriend is cheating on me, what should i do!?


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## janetsbreeze (Oct 28, 2006)

take out a full page ad in the local paper that says, " MY BOYFRIEND IS CHEATING!" he will be so embarrassed, he will stop right away

i'm feeling a bit tipsy, and that cute stranger has been giving me the eye. what should i do?


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## pla4u (Oct 28, 2006)

let him know your not interested my staring at him while sucking on a popcycle and smiling..

This girl eating a popcyckle keeps staring at me and smiling what should I do?


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## Shelley (Oct 30, 2006)

Grab the popsicle from her hands , throw it in the garbage and give her a cheesy grin.

A rude cosmetician at the make up counter keeps giving me the evil eye while I browse, what should I do?


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## janetsbreeze (Nov 1, 2006)

you should grab an eye brow pencil and draw a mustache on her face to make her laugh!

my co-worker is forgetting everything! what should i do?


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## pla4u (Nov 1, 2006)

help out by posting notes all over the office reminding them of all the work they need to be doing..

I dropped my car keys in the storm drain, what shal I do?


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## bluebird26 (Nov 3, 2006)

Go home walking

It's been a while i don't wash my makeup brushes


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## Kathy (Nov 3, 2006)

Keep it up for at least another year and see how stiff they can get. Re-use them at the end of the day after your face is really dirty.

I have a sore throat. I think I may be coming down with something. What should I do?


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## pla4u (Nov 3, 2006)

I hear vodka and pepermint snops are good for what ails you...better get a couple bottles of both and start using them right away!!!

I want to make a good impression on a job interview at a large toystore...what should I do?


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## abesmom (Nov 4, 2006)

show them how fun you can be by bringing with you a toy horn and honk it at regular intervals during the interview. They will love your playful attitude!

This telemarketer won't stop calling me....oh what to do?


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## pla4u (Nov 4, 2006)

Next time one calls sell them some tuperware!

I'm baking a cake but ran out of eggs...what should I do?


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## janetsbreeze (Nov 4, 2006)

run to the nearest bait shop ... they sell fish eggs really cheap!

i have the worst headache. any suggestions?


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## Kathy (Nov 4, 2006)

Play some heavy metal music REALLY LOUD while doing a headstand. That always works for me.

I'm not kissing enough ass at work. I think I'm about to get fired. What should I do?


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## pla4u (Nov 4, 2006)

start coming yo work in a short skirt , low cut top showing LOTs of clevage, steleto heels and your sexiest makup...make sure to make eye contact and smile a lot too! it wouldent hurt to be clumsy and drop things a lot and have to bend over to pick them up..

I just finnished my dinner at a fancy reasturaunt and discovered I forgot my wallet! what should I do???


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## abesmom (Nov 4, 2006)

run around the place while screaming at the top of your lungs "catch me if you can waitress, dine and dash baby!"

My eye is watering what shall I do?


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## Anika_1 (Nov 5, 2006)

squeeze some lemon juice to add vitamin c to the eyeballs and then keep your eyes open for a long time to rid of the excess water

i have chewing gum in my hair , what do i do?


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## Kathy (Nov 5, 2006)

I've heard wallpaper paste is very good for getting that out. If that doesn't work then try nail polish remover. That works for getting it from under desks, it should work on your hair, right? If all else fails, shave it! It's only hair, it'll grow back!

OMG...my bf just proposed! I'm not sure he is THE ONE! What to do??


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## pla4u (Nov 5, 2006)

Ask if he has a lease plan with a option to buy!

I gust sat on a bench that was just painted and still wet When I tried to get up my dress was glued to the bench! What should I do??


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## Guenevere (Nov 7, 2006)

Wait there until you can pee! The pee should loosen your dress from the bench!!!

I have a horrible rash on my arm, what can I do???


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## pla4u (Nov 7, 2006)

Mix some bleach and gasoline and soak your rash in it for 3 hours that should take care of it,

I lost all my change in the drink machine what should I do?


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## Shelley (Nov 11, 2006)

Start shaking the machine like mad until it falls over on top of you, the change will pop out.

My doctors receptionist is always rude to me what should I do?


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## pla4u (Nov 11, 2006)

turn your back . hitch up your skirt and show her the moon ! Im sure everyone in the waiting room will love it..

I was at the bus stop and somone drove through a puddle and got me soaked! what should I do?


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## Shelley (Nov 11, 2006)

Flag down a car, hope in, chase the person who soaked you and pee on their car.

My neighour keeps stealing my Molson's (beer) what should I do?


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## StrangerNMist (Nov 11, 2006)

I say that you should take the beer bottle and thrash it over their head. When they're finally out cold, strip them naked and then place them in outdoors in a public place, and then take spray paint and write "I diddled Joseph Chretien!"

I can't seem to stop sneezing, what should I do?


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## Shelley (Nov 11, 2006)

Take a bunch of laxatives, that will scare you enough to stop sneezing.

Someone keeps calling and hanging up when I answer the phone, what should I do?


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## StrangerNMist (Nov 11, 2006)

Find out what their number is and start propositioning them. The kinkier and scarier, the better.

What should I do when someone farts while I'm eating?


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## Little_Lisa (Nov 11, 2006)

Sniff it hard and try to discern what they had for their last meal.

How can I get my dog to stop snatching my panties and taking them into the yard?


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## StrangerNMist (Nov 11, 2006)

Grab some barbed wire, an alarm, and some tear gas. That'll stop the little muts from stealing your underoos!

What meal should I make for the inmates on death row?


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## pla4u (Nov 11, 2006)

Filet of Electric Eel, Im sure they will get a charge out of it!

my neighbors dog keeps dropping these skimpy panties in my front yard what shal I do?


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## StrangerNMist (Nov 11, 2006)

Make some sexy slingshots out of them!

My nose is tired, it's been running all day - what shall I do?


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## Guenevere (Nov 12, 2006)

See if you can get a surgeon to stitch up your nostrils, you shouldn't have to worry about it anymore!!

I ran out of toilet paper and I'm in the bathroom with my pants down already, what am I supposed to do now?


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## Shelley (Nov 12, 2006)

Use your underwear to wipe yourself.

I have the hiccups and they won't go away, what should I do?


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## StrangerNMist (Nov 12, 2006)

Pour water on the floor beneath your feet, and then stick both index fingers in a light socket for about 5 to 10 minutes. That should cure them.

What should I do if I fart in front of an open flame, and the house ends up burning down?


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## pla4u (Nov 12, 2006)

carry a stick and bag of marshmellows to toast over the flame...

I really want to decorate my house for Christmas but have no money for decorations, what should I do?


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## Kathy (Nov 13, 2006)

Just wait until people in your neighborhood start putting theirs up and "borrow" them. It's the season of "giving", they won't mind. I'm spending too much time on mut and my bf says he's going to leave me. What should I do?


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## StrangerNMist (Nov 13, 2006)

We're sexier, and we have the brains as well as the braun! I say hang out with us and leave that loser at home! I just bought a very cute, and super-sexy skirt made out of porkchops. What should I do if the the neighborhood dogs and cats coming running after me?


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## pla4u (Nov 13, 2006)

Just make sure you where your salad blouse ,potato panties and gravy bra, so they get a well ballanced meal. I see a lot of dogs and cats chasing this strangly dressed girl doun the street, what should I do?


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## Shelley (Nov 13, 2006)

Hunt her down and sprinkle her with catnip and meat juice, the animals will really love her.

My neighbours dog keeps pooping on my lawn what should I do?


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## pla4u (Nov 13, 2006)

well you just run over to the neighbors lawn and poop on it yourself to show them whos boss!

I have a meeting in 5 minuits but I have gas really bad real loud and smelly what should I do?


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## StrangerNMist (Nov 14, 2006)

Walk into where they're having the meeting, pull your pants down and let them revel in your sweet smell as you're pinching an air loaf.

What do I do just in case just in case Bill Murray decides to pull an Anne Heche, and shows up on my front door drunk, half naked, and talking about outer space?


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## pla4u (Nov 21, 2006)

give im a hot bowl of bean chili and a lighter and instruct him on hor to light a fart to launch himself back to outer space!

Im going on a job interview on the 11th floor of a law firm but my skirt is cought in my bicycle chain...what should I do?


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## bluebird26 (Nov 30, 2006)

Take the bicycle and chain with you

My car keeps on sliding on the icy road


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## pla4u (Dec 1, 2006)

roll down your windows and play the song "Slit Sliding Away" as you shout

"WOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...as you spin past all the people wathing you spiral down the road!

I think I axcidently mixed up the Viagra with the Asprin tablits what should I do???


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## StrangerNMist (Dec 2, 2006)

I say take both, so that way you have a hard-on while curing the headache that you're wife is giving you with her incessant nagging that the both of you just don't "make love enough".

The ******** next door is peeing in my flower garden, what should I do?


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## pla4u (Dec 2, 2006)

Make a vidio alter it so it looks like he has the worlds smallest weenie and post it on youtube.

I am at the mall and have to pee but the restrooms are out of order! what should I do?


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## StrangerNMist (Dec 2, 2006)

Take a leak in the fountain! Just make it look like you're digging for pocket change, no one will know the difference I swear!

What's a good way from keeping my hubby from pinching so many air loaves?


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## pla4u (Dec 2, 2006)

well get a garden hose and stick it in his A** and atach a filter and muffler to the other end, He will still fart but it will be much easier to hide...after you find a way to explain the hose anyway..

I just saw my neighbor cheeting on his wife ...with another MAN!!!...what should I do?


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## Gvieve (Dec 3, 2006)

Oh honey the only decent thing to do is to approach your neighbor's wife and do all that you can to alleviate her pain. Don't tell her about him, give to her what he gave to his lover, that way they're even That's what's important. Then, if she starts feeling guilty and only if she goes through the guilt trip thing, tell her about him and his lover. That way everybody wins. You owe it to them. There was definitely a reason for you yes you to witness what you did. This could be your whole purpose on this planet. To right this wrong. Now.... enough about you on to my problem.

I am madly in love with a B maybe even a C rated actor who some say may be gay. I don't think so because I've never seen him in public with a man. What should I do? By the way I'm married with kids


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## StrangerNMist (Dec 4, 2006)

I say go and test the waters - you don't know unless you try, right?

I just stuck my finger in a light socket, and now my hair is very, very frizzy (and quite electrified, I might add). I walked though the mall today, and I blew up an entire balloon display by just walking by it!

What should I do to get my hair to lay down? Someone suggested a nice, thick hair mask of WD-40, but I'm not sure if that will work.

Any suggestions?


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## pla4u (Dec 4, 2006)

First charg your cell phone by holding it in your mouth for 45 minuits, then drain your cars crankcase oil on your head that will take care of that little problem

I have to fill up my car with gas but left my walet with all my credit cards and money at home what should I do?


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## Gvieve (Dec 5, 2006)

No problem. I always panhandle whenever without my wallet. You'd be surprised how much money you can save that way.

My inlaws invited me up to The City for the holidays but I'm just not feeling like shopping in NY (too cold) so don't want to go. ???


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## Shelley (Dec 14, 2006)

Tell them you are horribly sick with a cold and instead hop down to Miami to go shopping.

My family doctor is a jerk and rude, what should I do?


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## pla4u (Dec 14, 2006)

whenever you go see him make sure you eat a lot of spicy food so you f**t up a storm and get his office smelling really ripe!

I think I axcedently returned a home sex movie to blockbuster insted of my rental!!!! what should I DO!!!!??????


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## Kathy (Dec 18, 2006)

Make a few more and take them to Blockbuster and see if they'll let you start your own section. That way you can at least make some money off your sex life. Kinda like Paris Hilton.

Christmas is almost here and I've barely started my Christmas shopping. What to do??


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## bblonde (Dec 18, 2006)

Go on vacation, and send everyone a postcard, telling them how much you appreciate the money you saved on not buying them present and spent on yourself. Im sure they'll agree.

I have a neighbor that leaves his damn dog out all day/night barking.

Yelling shut up to the little shit isn't working, any ideas?


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## KristieTX (Dec 21, 2006)

Go over there and sew the dog's mouth shut with twine.

My boss won't quit being a ***** to me. What should I do?


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## Shelley (Dec 22, 2006)

Go outside, scratch his car and blame it on another employee.

My neighbour never shovels her steps by the front door after a heavy snowfall, I could trip and break my ankle, what should I do?


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## Aquilah (Dec 23, 2006)

Shovel the step, but leave all the snow in her car  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

I have really bad cramps... What should I do?


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## Kathy (Dec 31, 2006)

Do some sit ups, then go for a nice long jog. That should do it!

It's New Year's Eve and I really want to go out, but I don't have any money left after all the Christmas shopping. What to do?


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## AnnaBelle (Jan 1, 2007)

Rob a bank! Then you'll have all kinds of money!

My eyes are red and puffy and they hurt. What should I do?


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## pla4u (Jan 1, 2007)

well if you want to whiten up your eyes use some bleach! it works great on my undies!

I saw the neibor walking around her house naked! the front blindes were wide open! what should I do?


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## AnnaBelle (Jan 2, 2007)

Call all your other neighbors and tell them to come watch the show. Yell and holler at her!

I want to color my hair. What color should I pick?


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## MacForMe (Jan 4, 2007)

Manic Panic's purple Haze.. your corporate image will take off!!

I can't stop goofing off at work...


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## Kathy (Jan 4, 2007)

Next time your boss asks you to do something just say "Would you like fries with that?" He'll think your hilarious! Put your garbage can on your desk and mark it "inbox".

The vet just told me I might have to put my dog to sleep. What should I do?


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## Sonia_K (Jan 5, 2007)

Get your dog a nice cozy pillow and blanket. He will love you for it.

Everybody works late hours in my office. I hate working late and want to leave early but feel guilty about it..what should I do?


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## AnnaBelle (Jan 6, 2007)

Stay late!! Stay later than everyone else, and don't request being payed overtime.

My sister is getting on my last nerve! What should I do?


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## Shelley (Jan 6, 2007)

Tell her that you have PMS and will turn into a monster if she doesn't leave in 10 seconds.

My friend is always picking on me what should I do?


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## AnnaBelle (Jan 11, 2007)

Punch her in the face. Then tackle her and continue beating her up. Then start picking on her right back.

I can't sleep of a night, but I want to sleep all day. What should I do?


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## cynpat2000 (Jan 14, 2007)

*Take 200 sleeping pills that should do the trick.*

*How do I get over my fear of spiders?*


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## Shelley (Jan 21, 2007)

Go out at night, snatch some from their webs, stick them down your shirt and run around the neighbourhood screaming "I love spiders!"

The clerk at Subway is always giving me mean, dirty looks, what should I do?


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## pla4u (Jan 24, 2007)

Dress up like a clown and see what the clirk does ...be sure to honk a really anoying horn while you are there..

I need to take the dog for a walk but it is too cold and snowing outside ,,what should I do?


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## Gvieve (Feb 6, 2007)

Let her just go in the house.

I should be grading papers now but I'm on MUT. What should I do?


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