# I have had a fantasy......



## [email protected]~~ (Aug 7, 2007)

for a very very long time before me and my fiance got together and its to be with another woman. I have told him about it and he doesnt think its such a good idea and says that I will end up regreting it and that it will complicate things between us. As time goes by I feel the urge to want it more and more but I feel trapped because I dont want to go behind his back but at the same time this isnt something that I can put past me. We have a daughter together and I wouldnt want to do something to affect my family but like I said before this is something that I need to experience. I would appreciate your input ladies, Thanks!

Anyone?


----------



## SqueeKee (Aug 7, 2007)

Wow, this is really hard to give advice on.

Personally, I think you have to think of it as if it were another man you wanted to be with. It's unfair to expect your fiance to be okay with you having a sexual experience with anyone other than him, no matter what their gender. Would you be okay if he said "hun, I want to have sex with another person"?

Wouldn't you have doubts and fears?

Now what if he said he wanted to have sex with a man? Would that make you fearful too? What if he's gay? What if he leaves me? Etc. . .

However if this urge goes beyond sex and you feel like you want to be with women, then you have to be true to yourself.

But for just sex or curiosity . . . I dunno, it's just my opinion, but to me it's not worth complicating or possibly destroying a relationship or family.


----------



## [email protected]~~ (Aug 7, 2007)

Originally Posted by *Kee* /img/forum/go_quote.gif Wow, this is really hard to give advice on. 
Personally, I think you have to think of it as if it were another man you wanted to be with. It's unfair to expect your fiance to be okay with you having a sexual experience with anyone other than him, no matter what their gender. Would you be okay if he said "hun, I want to have sex with another person"?

Wouldn't you have doubts and fears?

Now what if he said he wanted to have sex with a man? Would that make you fearful too? What if he's gay? What if he leaves me? Etc. . .

However if this urge goes beyond sex and you feel like you want to be with women, then you have to be true to yourself.

But for just sex or curiosity . . . I dunno, it's just my opinion, but to me it's not worth complicating or possibly destroying a relationship or family.

I think you are right and I know that he is afraid that this may go beyond a one time thing and that I wont feel the need to be with a man anymore. I completely understand that and I have put myself in his shoes and that is why I havent done anything behind his back but Im not being true to myself either. Its complicated looking from the outside in so imagine how I feel. Also its not like I can talk to anyone about this because not everyone is open minded and I couldnt even speak to my friends about it because their mind set is different and it would be so akward. Thanks for your input I really appreciated.


----------



## SqueeKee (Aug 7, 2007)

I had my first girl crush at 9 so it's not that hard to put myself in your shoes, believe me.






It's a tough position your in, a tough decision you have to make, but I just can't sit here and tell you it's okay to sleep with one person and try to keep your fiance too. It's not fair to him at all.

You can't have your cake and eat it too . . . and I'm getting the impression from your post that maybe you're just looking for a way to have it both ways.

The best advice I can give you is be true to yourself, but also be *fair *to your fiance. I wish you the best of luck.


----------



## [email protected]~~ (Aug 7, 2007)

No, I know I cant have it both ways and that its why I feel so frustrated and confused about this whole thing. Anyways Kee thank you for your advise! xoxo!


----------



## SqueeKee (Aug 7, 2007)

Good luck sweetie, I know it's a hard place to be. I wish you lots of courage


----------



## enyadoresme (Aug 26, 2007)

i honestly don't know what to say to this i guess being honest and open is the way to go


----------



## MissMissy (Sep 7, 2007)

let me tell you.. i have had 3 some's and if you realtionship is not strong as steal you will break... jelousey gets you at the worst. i will never ever ever do it again the only good outcome of it .. i can tell people my expiernce i almost lost the one i love.. and it was not worth hurting each other over... think it over


----------



## JennyMcL (Sep 7, 2007)

I definitely think Kee is right. I think its a great fantasy, but the reality can be extremely damaging.


----------

