# I'm So Emo :(



## CellyCell (Aug 7, 2008)

I'm in a bad funk, atm.

All I've been doing is crying for some days and just highly emotional. This is usually an indication that my period is coming soon, lol but... I think I'm suffering from some sort of mild depression. The thought of that depresses me some more.






There's just a lot of things running through my head lately and it's the same complaint, same feelings, over and over again. I try to change but it's just not working and the more I notice I'm not happy at all. I feel very, very lonely - and I know you guys are there to support me and make me feel good but it's not the same as someone in RL caring for you. No offense, it's appreciated - it's just... not the same. :/

The loneliness feeling I've talked about here before, it started about 2 years ago now. To make this rant shorter, I'm just not close with my dad and being at home all day is taking it's toll. I feel guilty for leaving my house and having fun when my sister (who is mentally retarded) is sick or my parents fight. So if anything, I hang out with my friends like a few times a month and it makes me feel like I can't enjoy my youth at all while I see everyone around me going out a lot and traveling. I envy how everyone has someone thinking about them and even though I do have close friends - they're too busy doing their own thing. I only get texts if I text someone - the person that calls me calls just to talk about her marital affairs. Everyone either has a kid now, or is married, or graduated college - and what have I accomplished? Shit. Everyone has someone.

Knowing all that depresses me even more. I have nothing to show for. I'm lonely and haven't done shit with my life.

I looked at myself in the mirror the other day and I cried. I seriously cried and I've never done that before... I hate my weight and I feel like I'll never loose it. I try and I fail - and most of my insecurity comes from my weight. I feel like it's holding me back from happiness. I don't have a distorted image of myself and I know looks aren't everything but I know I don't attract guys because of my weight. I feel uncomfortable around folks because I feel like the whale in the room. And I've never been nit-picky about my face and now I'm seeing how the only time I feel decent is with makeup on. Then there's my fug hair and my eczema and ****ing cellulite and stretchmarks. It's never ending...

You know the only time I was truly happy was when I was speaking to my ex or whatever I'd label him. It made me feel good knowing I was in his thoughts from the moment he woke up and the time he went to sleep - and I liked being the source of his happiness. That's an awesome feeling and I wish now I had never experienced it because that's all I'm longing for.

I really dunno what I'm talking about it but I had to say it somehow because it's bottling up inside. Even if I'm happy tomorrow, these feelings still linger. I'm just so unhappy and lonely.


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## AngelaGM (Aug 7, 2008)

Celly,

You are an amazing woman! All your students are so lucky to have you in their lives. You are passionate and funny as hell. It is a shame that I don't know you in "real" life.


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## ADSCOSMETICS (Aug 7, 2008)

Seriously.. I know we never spoke or wrote each other through MUT, I feel so connected to you. I'm going through my own issues with family and my life is changing drastically. All my life I've felt resentment towards my parents and my sister because she's been the angel in their eyes because she's very much like them and I'm the outcast because I'm so not like them. If I would speak English now, you'd probably understand me. But what I'm trying to say is try, try, try, and try again not to let this get you down. I know myself.. while I was picking out old clothing from my sock/underwear drawers I began to cry, because certain thongs don't fit me anymore (gained almost 20 lbs. in 10 months.) and I wear boyshorts ONLY now because I feel better--er, skinnier-- in them. I sit home all day too helping my mom take care of my niece. I've also become very attached to my fiancee (he works from the house) so when I start school, I know I'm gonna feel miserable there when I usually feel happy there. Believe me, Celia, there are worse things in life to cry about or mope, or even feel depressed about. You're young, beautiful (REALLY), and from what I've read (your comments), you are incredibly funny and outgoing. Instead of crying, do something. Try to fulfill your aspirations and your goals. That's more important than losing a pound and it's much more satisfying. Besides, you have a thousand or more girls here cheering you on. =)


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## Aprill (Aug 8, 2008)

Awww Celia *hugs* chin up honey, you in my eyes, are very beautiful inside and out, with or without the weight....conditional love





I cant give you much advice because im in the emotional pits as well, but chin up, it will get better....you will see daylight...


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## Karen CD FL (Aug 8, 2008)

Dear Celly,

I debated if I should respond to your post. After all I could type every clichÃ©' to try to pick up your spirits. Well I could use just use a few :





Honestly, you are a drop dead gorgeous very young woman and at 22 years old you truly do have your whole life ahead of you. And just like all of us, you are going to run into times of highs and lows. You just have to try to ride them out.

I am 50 years old and wish I had the 28 years difference in our ages to do all those things and be all those things I will never have the opportunity to do. But luckily, you do have those years and so much time to be and do what you need.

I do have a wife and a great marriage, but to get that I had several horrible relationships and a very bad first marriage.

In all this, I learned one very special thing which I will tell you:

BEING ALONE IS NOT THE SAME THING AS BEING LONELY!

Try to embrace yourself. Try to learn to love who you are!

After years of bad relationships and a lot of therapy, (I highly recommend finding a good therapist to help you sort through things) I finally came to love myself no matter how big I am, what kind of friends I had and especially being a CD, finding out about myself and learning to accept who I am.

And after that I met my current wife of over 15 years now and we have a wonderful marriage.

You will get through these lows and more than likely you will be low again. BUT that is ok! It adds spice and clarity to your life.

If everyone had a storybook princess existence, our lives would be so boring. Thats is what my wife tells me. She loves me as I am. All of me and always reminds me that with all the ups and downs helps keep our lives very interesting and fulfilled.

I know I have rambled on here and I could type so much more.

I will leave you with this:

Love your life, Love yourself and everything else will follow. I can say this from personal experience. And at least for me it is a universal truth.

I wish you the very best.


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## AngelaGM (Aug 8, 2008)

We love you here!


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## daer0n (Aug 8, 2008)

Dude, i know that you said we are here and we support you in a different way, and it doesnt get close to what it would be in real life, but words are words, and when people say them and they mean them it should count for something whether these people are around you IRL or not. I can honestly tell you that i have felt this way before, a lot of times, and more than that the feeling of 'uglyness' and being fat and never looking good enough, being the fat one that no one wants to date or look at or finds attractive at all, which is why i became obsessed with my weight, and started obsessing so much to the point where i had to do something, and i lost it, i am still obsessed with it and its something that doesnt stop, even though i know im not perfect and i dont have a perfect skin either, i still find myself good looking most of the times in the mirror, even without makeup on. Yet, sometimes i look at myself and i feel like i dont look good enough, my kids have broken my body, with stretchmarks, and cellulite, over here and over there, but pfft, honestly, i dont care anymore, i overlook that. I have finally learned to accept myself that way, this body and myself are the only ones i have, without myself, id be...nothing.

Now, you have to look at the bright side of everything, if you just focus on the negativity of it all then it will always look the same, bad. I know its easier said than done but i know well that you can do whatever you want to do and achieve in life Celly, i know it will always sound like a cliche but you are young and have still a lot of time and things that you can do for yourself. Don't think that you are missing out on life just because you can't travel here or there or have a bf, that is not there is to life, first, you have to love yourself to be able to go ahead and move on to new things, so you can have something possitive to support yourself on and do things. Depression only does one thing for you, holds you back, from anything.

Life is made of choices, there is always a choice for everything. We have all made a choice that has taken us to where we are. So you just have to make a choice, and change, change is a choice too. Remember you always have to change things inside for them to be able to change outside. Be yourself and don't think about what other people might think about you, i mean, really, if other people think whatever of you, it will only affect you if YOU want it to affect you.

I personally think that you are a beautiful girl, young, bubbly, fun, and funny, i enjoy talking to you a lot, and if i could, i would hang out with you a lot IRL, unfortunately, i live far away from you, but looking at you in pictures it has never crossed my mind that you are 'fat' or that you have skin problems, or anything like that, you are just a human being just like the rest of us are, and i know, that no one in this world is perfect, as much as they seem to be they are all just human beings with qualities and flaws, we all have them.

Cheer up, this might just be a PMS phase, i go through them all the time myself as well, it will pass, and then when you think about it you'll see that life is not as bad as you see it. *HUGS*

I love you for reals dammit, even when im miles away from you, i mean it! &lt;3333


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## CellyCell (Aug 8, 2008)

Thank you guys.

I'm contemplating telling my mother I need to see someone because a lot of my feelings can't be changed overnight, I might have depression. There's a whole lot I haven't said on here and I do go on bouts of high and low but mines happen so frequent and out of no where. I just dunno how to go on telling her... I feel embarrassed kinda doing so.


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## AngelaGM (Aug 8, 2008)

Maybe just go by yourself and go to a Free Clinic? If you have highs and lows you might have Bi Polar Disorder. You are in my thoughts! Please feel free to IM me if you need to talk.


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## pinksugar (Aug 8, 2008)

OMG I'm not good at explaining myself so I hope this comes out right.

First of all, you're gorgeous. You're funny and outrageous and smart and that makes you attractive. Weight is weight - essentially, no matter how hard it might be to lose that, the person underneath needs to be gorgeous - and that's what you are. With or without the excess baggage you'll always be attractive to people.

Second, I know how you feel. Some days it's like life will just stretch on forever, work, eat, sleep, spend money on things I don't need. Some days I think, the only reason I'm getting out of bed is so Willum can get out of his cage!

But, you know what? we are beautiful and we have a LOT to look forward to. Give yourself a goal you can look forward to, and work toward it. For me, that goal is moving to Europe for a while. It kind of consumes me a bit. I constantly think about what language to learn, where to stay, how expensive it will be, how much I should save, whether I'd be lonely. There is so much to think about, that it takes up the time I used to be worrying about myself.

And, have you tried to exercise? something light like swimming or jogging. The more you do, the more endorphins you'll have, you'll start to feel good, AND lose weight. But don't start to do it for the weight alone. do it for the joy of using your body, of being in the fresh air, all that stuff. Then if you don't lose weight immediately, you won't get discouraged.

Hey, like Nuri, if I was closer, I'd be *****ing at you to get coffee with me every second day! If you ever need to talk, I know it's not the same as IRL, but still. We are here, if you need us.




cheer up!


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## CellyCell (Aug 8, 2008)

Thanks you guys. I can always count on MUT folks to clear my head a lot.





I asked a friend if he can meet me tomorrow, hopefully he won't flake so I can talk to him about my depression. I never once opened up to someone fully about all my problems. He's been in therapy recently and he's been through a lot of the same things. He tends to get me out of my funk... so yeah. I'll be let down if he cancels though. :/


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## Andi (Aug 8, 2008)

Originally Posted by *CellyCell* /img/forum/go_quote.gif Thanks you guys. I can always count on MUT folks to clear my head a lot.



I asked a friend if he can meet me tomorrow, hopefully he won't flake so I can talk to him about my depression. I never once opened up to someone fully about all my problems. He's been in therapy recently and he's been through a lot of the same things. He tends to get me out of my funk... so yeah. I'll be let down if he cancels though. :/

ThatÂ´s a great idea. It looks like you need someone to help you out in real life, just pull you in the right direction. When youÂ´re depressed (and IÂ´ve been there, 1year of meds and therapy and I canÂ´t even believe I let myself reach such a low point before realizing that I needed help) youÂ´re even too low and unmotivated to ask for help! Crazy, right?
I know I felt very embarrassed to tell my close family members and my closest friends about my depression. That itself felt like yet another failure. I think where you are right now is a good point to start making changes in your life. Therapy can help you pick yourself up from the ground, it helps you help yourself.

Now, I donÂ´t know the details of your everyday life, but just the situation with your sister and your parents sounds like a whole lot to deal with. Honestly, if I was in that situation it would bring me down too, so donÂ´t you feel ashamed for the feelings you have. ItÂ´s perfectly normal sometimes.

I donÂ´t know if IÂ´m making any sense here, and IÂ´m so sorry I canÂ´t help you out in person. I would really love to do that, honestly. Out of everyone on here youÂ´re one of those people who everyone loves, I mean, you have such an awesome personality...you instantly attract people that way. I really canÂ´t see how thatÂ´d be any different in real life.

And on top of that I canÂ´t agree more with anyone that youÂ´re incredibly gorgeous. And I`m not just saying that, I MEAN it cause I see it.

Hell, IÂ´m skinny and many people would consider me attractive, but there are so many damn days out of a year where I feel ugly and invisible. And IÂ´m also feeling terribly lonely right now, and like a total loser to be honest. IÂ´m actually kinda scared to feel that way since I havenÂ´t felt that way since my depression.

Remember, itÂ´s really not about your looks sweetie, itÂ´s about your attitude. We all hate ourselves sometimes, yet we see other people in a different light. THEY have the perfect bodies, THEY have the perfect lives etc and we donÂ´t measure up to that.

ItÂ´s really a lot of BS the way we think sometimes

Sending a big



your way. We love you!!!


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## magosienne (Aug 8, 2008)

these are the feelings i've felt not so long ago. each time i meet this particular friend, she's talking about her wedding, and she's an organization freak. me i've never been into a real and deep relationship with someone, there's my weight, my health problems that are not entirely solved yet, my diploma, i got it but not with as much success as i wanted, and lately i've very well understood my parents would like me to fly away quite soon, the fact that my little brother is leaving home first isn't helping me at all. and that damn job i want, i am unable to write and apply for it, although i told my parents i sent the letter. it's liek everyone has got a life and a goal to reach, and i feel lost among them.

BUT i believe i am on the right path, i just may take more time to walk on it than others. you have to keep your chin up, if you're down, you can only go up. Celly whenever i think about you, i have in my mind the picture of a funny and gorgeous woman, a ball full of energy. you are young, you have a lot to look forward to and i believe you will be just fine.


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## Ricci (Aug 8, 2008)

I had to reply

Im so sorry your feeling this way but one thing I discovered

"you are what u eat" unless someone has a thyroid problem

I know this for a fact, I went thro a phase when I kinda just ate anything and gained almost 15 lbs very quickly I was shocked

Once u loose a little weight u will feel way better, there must be a way for u to be able to loose some little weight

I hope u feel better soon and i hope my post made some sense


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## Xuity (Aug 8, 2008)

I really do understand how you feel. I've been feeling also that loneliness feeling around my life lately. I have a boyfriend and he is truly amazing, but the point is that he doesn't seen to be enough, I need friends, girlfriends.

I am very unable to make female friendships, not because I'm not feminine or because I don't like girly stuff, but because I can't feel connected to most girls around me and I feel that when I like someone that person tires of being around me or doesn't give me enough attention, at least not as much as I think I give and deserve.


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## daer0n (Aug 8, 2008)

Have you also tried natural supplements that help aid with depression Celly? Omega 3 is very good for that, there are other things that can help as well, you dont necesarily have to take a pill treatment for stuff like that, i personally wouldn't recommend it, i know i am not a doctor but i have done my personal research and i know very well that anti depressants are not what people think or expect them to be.

*Health benefits of Omega 3*

On September 8, 2004, the U.S. Food and Drug Administration gave "qualified health claim" status to eicosapentaenoic acid (EPA) and docosahexaenoic acid (DHA) n−3 fatty acids, stating that "supportive but not conclusive research shows that consumption of EPA and DHA [n−3] fatty acids may reduce the risk of coronary heart disease."[2] This updated and modified their health risk advice letter of 2001 (see below).

People with certain circulatory problems, such as varicose veins, benefit from fish oil. Fish oil stimulates blood circulation, increases the breakdown of fibrin, a compound involved in clot and scar formation, and additionally has been shown to reduce blood pressure. There is strong scientific evidence that n−3 fatty acids significantly reduce blood triglyceride levels and regular intake reduces the risk of secondary and primary heart attack.

Some benefits have been reported in conditions such as rheumatoid arthritis and cardiac arrhythmias.

There is a promising preliminary evidence that n-3 fatty acids supplementation might be helpful in cases of depression and anxiety. Studies report highly significant improvement from n-3 fatty acids supplementation alone and in conjunction with medication.


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## CellyCell (Aug 9, 2008)

Thank you everyone who's responded





Thanks for the info, Nury. I do want to try some natural remedies before taking it to a professional. I don't want this post to be entirely about my weight because it isn't. There is a lot I haven't mentioned and personal problems too much to explain in a post. Even though weight is contributing my self-esteem and all that...

Anders, thanks for your response - I was hoping you would since I know you've battled it. And yeah, I really don't have anyone in RL to sorta help me out but he's willing too because he can relate... otherwise I have no one to turn too. Even if I went to my mom, I don't think she'd be supportive and brush it off.

I know I get into these funks where it's just little things put me in crying modes but the feeling of loneliness is there nearly everyday. I can be in a crowded room and feel alone. I dunno if that makes sense? My family can be here and I feel distant from them. And sometimes, I can have all the fun in the world and I can not have a satisfied feeling with it... I can't just be happy or okay with things. I really think I brushed it off my dad - he suffers from depression and I can see myself take on his behavior and attitude. I need a behavior change. I'm so analytical and over think a lot and stress or psych myself out... le sigh.


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## internetchick (Aug 9, 2008)

I don't have any words of advice, just wanted to post some support.

And yours was one of the faces that stood out to me when I first got here. You are truly stunning.



I hope that you get over this slump or whatever it is soon.


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## SqueeKee (Aug 9, 2008)

Ive had my share of problems with depression and I hate it. It's like this stupid vacuum of lameness that sucks the life and fun out of people! &gt;.&lt; It makes all those things in life you would normally let slide off your back just stab you in the face. And some people just don't *get* how debilitating it can be!!

I wish I had good advice but I have 0 clue how I really got passed my depression. And even now it's not gone fully, won't ever be for me. If my hair isn't done and my face isn't done I feel like a major uggo. All I can say is that a lot of people care about you irl and out here in cyber-land. It's quite a feat to make an impression on so many people! Lots of people online just blend into the background, and don't really get to know anyone . . . the only background you could blend into the like, an awesomeness background, and even then we'd know it's you because you'd be the the one makin' all the best jokes



(Excuse my Beaut-eeee)

And yea, any man would be full on retarded not to think you're hot. I can't believe people actually care about size! A beautiful woman is a beautiful woman, period. I know I'm married now and with a guy but none of the women I dated prior to that were skinny. Aprill uses a term I like best - "thick goddess".



Fat is a word I use only to describe *****es. lol!!!

Anyway, I hope you feel better soon. I would go on about how gorgeous you are but I know how you feel, the same way I do prolly when someone tells me the same "Yea but in all my pics online i look fantastic, you don't see me "as-is"





Well, no one is that great As-Is, but I've seen you on YT w/o makeup and lemme tell you, you look a helluva lot better than I do !!!





I guess the one thing I can say that helped me is that I made a decision a long time ago to remove myself from unhealthy environments. That meant making some sacrifices but I think it helped. Now it's just automatic and natural to me, when something is unhealthy I let it go, whether it's a friend with a bad attitude or a mom who just won't even melt her ice heart long enough to get to know her daughter. Now if only this applied to food! Working in a donut shop is too tempting for that tho





Hope you feel better soon chicky. And whether it matters at all, I think you're really great.


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## Gwendela (Aug 9, 2008)

Oh my sweet Celly. I hope that your able to talk with your friend. I know what your saying about needing someone to tell in RL and I hope that you find someone that will help you through. You will get through this my dear one step at a time.


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## pinksugar (Aug 9, 2008)

chicken, from what you said in your most recent post, that is definitely depression.

I think you should ask for a prescription, but if you want to try something herbal first, then how about evening primrose oil or st. john's wart? or bach's rescue remedy?

those are just a few that might help...

my dad and sister suffer/ed from depression and I have a bit too. I know how scary it is to reach out to someone because if they rebuff you, if they don't understand, then you'll feel even more alone than before, because you have lost a 'chance' to make someone understand.

If you're afraid/don't want to tell your mum, then how about trying some of the herbal rememdies, and if that doesn't help, then you could speak to someone about getting a prescription.

Honestly, think about it this way - what have you got to lose? sooo many people refuse to take drugs as a way of improving their mental health, but why feel miserable if you don't have to? if there is something that might make you feel better, why miss out on it?

I'm not saying that drugs are the way to go, I'm just saying, don't blow them off as a possible option.

I've never been super deeply depressed, I only really ever scratched the surface, and it's HARD. As Anders said, there is no shame in seeking help, and you've already made the first positive move - by sounding out some ideas with us!





biiiiig hugs to you!


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## Dragonfly (Aug 9, 2008)

Aww, I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling so down. I think that therapy is wonderful - gives someone a chance to see you objectively. As well, they can determine if you need an antidepressant or just a lot less stress.

Don't feel guilty about going out every once in a while. You are a young, vibrant woman and it is very important that you go out and have some fun!

Big hugs to you honey!


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## pretty_pink13 (Aug 9, 2008)

I feel the exact same way you do, I had a mental breakdown last night and those are the same things I pretty much thought about...everyone I know has a degree or has babies. I just moved to a new city with a long distance bf and I don't have any friends, I miss my mom and my family and it just snow balled from there along with weight issues.

I know that I have been depressed lately and over sensitive. I haven't figured out yet what I need to do to get better but I know there is still hope...

so with that, keep your head up high because there are people out there who share your pain *hugs*


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## CellyCell (Aug 9, 2008)

Thanks my loves



I hope you all can get through your funks as well. Life can be so caca sometimes :/

I looked at different sites that talked about depression and symptoms. Guess you're right, Rosers - I pretty much answered yes to all of them and it seems like I have a functional type of depression from all that's been going on. I shouldn't diagnose myself but I had naggin feelings. The first time I ever mentioned it was 4 years ago to a friend during work.

Weird... anyways, I need to ask my mom to put me on insurance or something if I wanna see somebody.


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## Shelley (Aug 9, 2008)

Celly,

I don't know you that well but you are a beautiful, bright woman with a great sense of humour.





I know how you feel because I've been through it also. I use to be scared of admitting I felt depressed or anxious but I finally told my family doctor. My issues are to due with my past situation and now that I opened up about it I am starting to feel better.

I think you did a great first step by opening up to us about how your feeling. I hope your discussion with your friend tomorrow goes well for you. Make sure you keep us updated. Were here for you. Hugs


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## La_Mari (Aug 9, 2008)

Wow, everyone said everything I could have said, and better.

I do think we all go through a little slump. I might be in one right now, but I refuse to kick me in the ass. And you are _so_ pretty Celly! I hate you. I love all your features and you're so funny and caring. I don't know a lot of people who are.

I don't know if this will help. But perhaps seeking a different friendship w/ someone will cheer you up. Like maybe a little kid. Caring for them and raising them (even though I don't have any ha ha) feels really nice. I love it. And even though they can't listen to your problems, they would still be there. At least to teach them about what you have learned.

And my parents piss me off too. My dad more, he's just ugh sometimes. I'm looking forward to moving out again soon.

Hope you feel better soon


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## CellyCell (Aug 9, 2008)

Thanks, Shellers and Mari.

It feels good opening up here - it's less pressure than to one of my friends who I plan on telling him what's really going on. It's been a better day but I do revert back to those emotional feelings all of a sudden throughout the day.

Thanks again guys ...your encouragements mean a lot!


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## Bec688 (Aug 10, 2008)

Celly, to me, you are one gorgeous woman! You're beautiful, you have a fabulous personality and wonderful sense of humour and really awesome person all round.

After saying that though, I CAN relate to what you're feeling and know exactly what you mean. I'm a little chubbette too and I know how having a few extra kilos on you can make a difference to how you feel as person, how you think other people see you and how it can hold you back.. I get ya. But to be honest with you, your friends and those close to you couldn't care if you weighed 100 lbs or 300lbs, they love you because of who you are, not what you look like, it's hard to think like that, but it's true, and it's something I struggle with as well.. so I know what you mean and I'm here for ya if you wanna *****



*hug*

I think it's really good that you have been able to open up and talk about what's going on with you, it's way better to get it all out than to keep it all in and talking about it REALLY helps. You're doing good


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## La_Mari (Aug 10, 2008)

&lt;3 u


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## magneticheart (Aug 14, 2008)

Celly, you're gorgeous and so funny! I could type down every saying and cheesy pick me up that sounds like it's come from Hallmark in the word but the only one that matters is that we're all here and we all support you.

It's great that you've been able to get it all out there and I think talking to your friend would make you feel even better. If he's a real friend he won't judge or tell you you're being stupid. He'll support you.

What you have does appear to be depression although I'm no expert. All I know is what I've seen of other people with depression. I think the best thing to do would be to talk to a doctor who can help you. Once you know what's going on and you can see a light at the end of the tunnel I bet it'll be like a weight lifted off your shoulders.

I often have downers but I tend to bottle it up because I'm just not one to talk about my feelings. My problem is that I put myself down and pick faults with myself. I've done it for years so I've grown up not feeling comfortable with the way I am. I'm trying to acknowledge when I do good things instead of focusing on the bad stuff but it is difficult for me. I'm glad I read this thread because I guess I never think of that many other people having downers and quite a few people here have said they do.

I guess it's made me feel a bit better.

I really hope you feel better soon Celly


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## Anthea (Aug 15, 2008)

Celly, I can totally relate to what you have written and your feelings of loneliness and I most of the time feel the same way. To me from your photo's and what you have written on MUT I personally think you are a very attractive person with an awesome personality. I hope you can get though this and we are here for you although not in RL.


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