# MySpace is the Devil!



## MandiMoore87 (Dec 28, 2007)

Okay, so my boyfriend and I live together and have been together for well over a year. Anyway, his ex (the one before me) was on his friend's list for a while right after we started dating. I didn't mind because they never talked.

Then out of the blue, they started talking again and she was being all flirty with him. I wasn't "snooping" or anything like that... he would go on mine occasionally and I would go on his. We knew that we did that and it wasn't a big deal.

Well... he took her off his list because of the flirting because I told him it was upsetting me. A few months later, I saw where he had re-added her. I told him it was fine, but if she started being a flirt again then no more. He agreed with me. After a few weeks, she was being flirty and he removed her again.

Last week, he re-added her! He is the one adding her, not the other way around. And, it's gotten me really ticked off this time.






And then I checked our profile on an Adult MySpace-spinoff site (that I NEVER get on) and he had sent a message to some girl asking her if she would email him pics... The bad kind of pics. (Just a few days ago) Just FYI - She said no. LMAO

Okay, one more thing... On his MySpace, he has almost 200 friends and all but 10 or so are female. On the Adult Myspace site thing, he has almost 300 ppl and they are ALL female. And on Facebook, he has about 250 friends and all but 10 or so are female.

Sooo what would you do in this scenario? How would you react and what would you say to him?

Other than this online problem thing... he's a great guy and treats me perfectly...


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## Maysie (Dec 28, 2007)

I think the way he's acting is disrespectful....it doesnt matter if its online or face to face, if he's continuing to talk to someone who you don't feel comfortable with him talking to, then thats not cool. It seems like you've been pretty laid back about the situation by telling him you didn't mind if he talked with the ex as long as they kept the comments platonic....and he's taking advantage of that. From what you've said about him having so many random girls on his friends list and asking that one girl for adult pics, it seems like he likes that sort of attention...it might be an ego boost for him. I'd ask him what he feels like he's getting from these other cyber relationships that he's not getting from you, and tell him how it makes you feel when he behaves in this way.


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## MandiMoore87 (Dec 28, 2007)

Thanks! I plan on talking to him tonight when he gets home. I'll definitely ask him about what he's getting from those relationships that he's not getting from our relationship.


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## luxotika (Dec 29, 2007)

I agree with Maysie. He is disrespecting you. For payback, you should post his myspace url and all of the girls on here can add him....That would be hilarious!


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## Manda (Dec 29, 2007)

That's why my bf says that myspace dooms relationships. That is totally disrespectful to you and to your relationship. I'd have a serious talk about whether he is ready for a committed relationship or if he wants to be single so he can talk to other girls. He doesn't sound very mature. Good luck!


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## Kookie-for-COCO (Dec 29, 2007)

Be careful--he may be missing something in your relationship. He may be one of those people that need a lot of attention all of the time. It will only go from bad to worse. I would have him make a choice. A lot of "stuff " goes on on-line.


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## MandiMoore87 (Dec 29, 2007)

Hahaha, thanks for the idea, luxotika! His profile is the number 1 on mine.. LMAO now.

And mine is HERE...


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## Shelley (Dec 29, 2007)

I agree with Maysie's advice. Good luck! Please keep us updated.


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## macface (Dec 29, 2007)

It should be called Devilspace.


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## MandiMoore87 (Dec 29, 2007)

LoL macface, I totally agree.

By the way, Eric will be home in an hour, so we'll see how things go tonight. Will let you all know what goes down tomorrow.


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## mahreez (Dec 30, 2007)

well, with my bf's profile, what i did was i posted our pic together on his primary photo so at least they know he's taken. lol!

well, if he knows that it's upsetting you and he doesn't do anything about it then maybe that's a sign. but maybe for him it's harmless since it's something done online...only he could explain to you what's really going on and why he does it behind your back.


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## sweetnsexy6953 (Dec 30, 2007)

When your in a relationship having a myspace, facebook or anything like that can be a bad idea. I had one bf I met my boyfriend and deleted it after we started dating and he deleted his account as well. Its just to much of a hassle to argue all the time when you can solve the issue by deleting the accounts. I think he misses her and so thats why he keeps readding her. It seems like he needs the attention from other girls to make it seem like hes still "got it". Good luck and let us know what happens(d).


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## pinksugar (Dec 30, 2007)

agreed, it is disrespectful! let us know how the talk goes, it's probably harmless and means nothing to him, but regardless, it's upsetting you (and it would upset me too) so he should stop doing it. To continue to do something after you know how they feel about it suggests to me that he's thoughtless and doesn't really care much about the feelings of others.



LOL


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## Killah Kitty (Dec 30, 2007)

Aw hun Im not gona tell you what hes doin is so wrong and rude because you already know it. But I have basically been where you are so I hope I can help. The internet and especially sites like myspace and facebook are really full of drama and can ruin perfectly good relationship. Now what he decides to do is his decision does he want a real commited relationship or maybe he isnt ready. How long have you two been together?

The first year I was with my bf he has all over the websites and he flirted like mad with TONS of girls, most of it I didnt even know about, but you know the truth always comes out, we had big fights we had arguments and things quieted down but he was still on these websites...

At bout year and a half I told him this is serious we been together way too long now if he cant cut out that habit I cant be with him anymore. He didnt stop so I dumped him. I think that turned the lightbulb on lol cause he wouldnt leave me alone for 3 weeks. We ended up getting back together and he made a ton of changes. He deleted his facebook (yes he kept goin on it too after I asked him not to but he stopped when he realized were in this together seriously) He deleted tons of people off his MSN and now his myspace only has about 30 friends, all his or our friends, and he only kept it really because I have one too and we send each other messages and go on each others accounts too.

We had alot to figure out and get through but it was all worth it in the end. If you think your with a genuine guy that is worth it find out what the real root of the problem is. Does he miss his ex? Does he think somethings missing from the relationship? Its not easy to get guys to talk about serious stuff lol my bf denied alot for a long long time but it all came down to the fact he had only had one serious gf before me and she treated him like crap and broke his heart. He was afraid Id just be the same lol. Yea he still complains how boring being on the computer is now but at the same time he is happier and he tells me its all worth it to be with me.

Im sorry for this long reply and hope it made sense lol its pretty late. I duno how long you two been together but if its worth it to be serious and commited you two have to talk about and make sure everything is clear to each other I know it sounds stupid but you got to make it crystal clear how much you love some guys or they just won't believe you lol.

OH and P.S. If you seriously make it crystal clear and you seriously put all that effort out there to try straighten things out and he decides he doesnt want to be in this serious commited type of deal, then dont waste your time! Someone that doesnt want to change, wont change!


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## amanda1210 (Dec 30, 2007)

honestly, my bf made me delete my myspace because he was just annoyed that i had guys i ued to know on my buddy list thing. So after refusing for about 3 months i just gave in. Just tell him to cancel it.


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## YourOneAndOnly (Jan 4, 2008)

I think profile sites can ruin relationships; too much drama. I would suggest deleting your profiles. If he declines or makes up an excuse for him to keep his Myspace account i'd have a serious talk to him. He's being disrespectful by chatting to other girls, particularly when it's making you uncomfortable.

Good luck, PM me if you need someone to chat with about it.


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## MandiMoore87 (Jan 4, 2008)

I talked to him about this again and finally we agreed to cut our "friends lists" down to people we actually know... Easier for me than him as that was the only people on mine anyway. Haha So, for now, everything is okay. What made me talk to him when I did, before really figuring out what to say, was the fact that I found a hidden folder on the computer of pics of all those girls on his list... We deleted the Adult MySpace spinoff thing and he deleted those pics.

Pretty much, I told him that we had been together a long time and we have been talking about getting married eventually (once he's outta college) and I told him that I wanted to marry him eventually, but not if he kept that stuff up. I don't believe in ultimatums as a whole, but I said it was either the internet stuff or me. Obviously, he chose me. And then I also told him that this was his last chance. One more time with these profiles or if he readds his ex, then it's over. Hopefully he realizes I'm serious!

Thanks everyone for your help in this!!


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## Annia (Jan 4, 2008)

Well, glad you could work things out.

Just remember that myspace is not the devil. People who act out their beliefs are held accountable--not items, places, or things.


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## Killah Kitty (Jan 7, 2008)

Originally Posted by *MandiMoore87* /img/forum/go_quote.gif I talked to him about this again and finally we agreed to cut our "friends lists" down to people we actually know... Easier for me than him as that was the only people on mine anyway. Haha So, for now, everything is okay. What made me talk to him when I did, before really figuring out what to say, was the fact that I found a hidden folder on the computer of pics of all those girls on his list... We deleted the Adult MySpace spinoff thing and he deleted those pics.
Pretty much, I told him that we had been together a long time and we have been talking about getting married eventually (once he's outta college) and I told him that I wanted to marry him eventually, but not if he kept that stuff up. I don't believe in ultimatums as a whole, but I said it was either the internet stuff or me. Obviously, he chose me. And then I also told him that this was his last chance. One more time with these profiles or if he readds his ex, then it's over. Hopefully he realizes I'm serious!

Thanks everyone for your help in this!!

You did the right thing



Why did he have pics of those girls in a hidden folder? I would be soo mad!! Anyway I hope all that stuff goes well for you both, internet sites like that are drama, but we got over it, and hopefully you two too. I know you told him its his last chance, seriously, so make sure you keep your word on that so he will know your not kidding. If he starts messing around again please dont hesitate to dump him!! Ok its hard, but thats what I did, and I think it will make him realize how serious you are about it and also what he already has is better anyway. Best of luck!!


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## speedy (Jan 7, 2008)

I'm glad it all worked out. You did the right thing talking to him about it, and he made the right decision in deciding on you over the internet.


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## glitter_vertigo (Jan 9, 2008)

I'm glad everything worked out and I agreed with what was being said by the ladies above. I'm really sad to hear real-life relationships have ended over MySpace!


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## Manda (Jan 9, 2008)

I hope it continues to work out! Myspace is so not worth having rleationship problems over


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## prettyfatfemme (Jan 15, 2008)

I thought you were overreacting until you got to the part about requesting dirty pictures. It sounds like your boyfriend is messin' around. I'm sorry. At this point it isn't even about the myspace page because he is most likely doing these things in his real life.


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## Annia (Jan 16, 2008)

Originally Posted by *prettyfatfemme* /img/forum/go_quote.gif I thought you were overreacting until you got to the part about requesting dirty pictures. It sounds like your boyfriend is messin' around. I'm sorry. At this point it isn't even about the myspace page because he is most likely doing these things in his real life. My point exactly, I totally agree and I'll say it once again:
You can't blame the medium in which the actions occur, you must blame the purveyors. Myspace is not the devil.


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