# the HARDEST thing i've ever done.



## xEdenx (Mar 3, 2009)

I dated a guy for a year and fell completely head over heels for him but now thats over and done with for quite a number of reasons. He was immautre, concieted,rude, anger problems, told me i was too thin to thiss too that not enough of this, never took me ANYWHERE unless i was mad at him... didnt have a job so i was left to foot every bill, loved the ladies, gradually became very physical and was just all around a jerk. I've completely fallen out of love with him and told him this a month ago and he procceded to let his anger take over and yell, swear, insult etc me over phone, texts, and facebook.

So now 4 weeks later he is coming to me with his usual lame apologies saying i was such a huge part of keeping him on his feet and well never find the love we had with anyone else and all this crap. As much as i know i CANNOT and WILL NOT and DO NOT want to go back for some odd reason i want to see him. just SEE HIM. i miss the good times we did have and i've been there through alot with him and seen him upset and cry and just go through hell. thats what makes it hard... i feel like i've seen his "real" side and his jerk side is not who he really is. I need to forget about him...

What advice have you girls recieved to help you get over a situation like this?

thanks loves


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## Aprill (Mar 3, 2009)

Well dear



If this is the guy that I have read with crap on facebook.....RUN


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## Adrienne (Mar 3, 2009)

If he's this horrible, I'd settle for looking at his pictures. You're way better off without him. It seems that his real side and jerk side are not two separate entities but just one big mess. Just focus on everything else but him. You don't want to stay in a cycle that keeps going nowhere. Best of luck.


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## Ozee (Mar 3, 2009)

Don't go back, stay strong. You only miss the sometimes good time him not the all the time jerk off him


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## Dragonfly (Mar 3, 2009)

Constantly remind yourself that he is not a great guy that made a few mistakes.

He was a loser that did ok every once in a while.

Be strong honey - there are a lot of nice guys out there that are truly deserving of you!


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## Darla (Mar 3, 2009)

I agree with everyone, i think he is a big loser. A little time and distance will convince you of that.


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## xEdenx (Mar 4, 2009)

Originally Posted by *Aprill* /img/forum/go_quote.gif Well dear



If this is the guy that I have read with crap on facebook.....RUN 
i didnt quite catch what you mean lol im a little slow today

reword?



&lt;3

Dragonfly i never thought of it that way before!

thanks for the advice girls





any advice your willing to give im DEFINITELY willing to hear!


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## mebs786 (Mar 4, 2009)

Being away from him its easy thinking about the good times, but you have to remember the reasons why you left him. Be strong! ..


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## HairEgo (Mar 4, 2009)

Do the 'good memories' out weigh the 'bad'? If not, why bother?


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## Aprill (Mar 4, 2009)

Originally Posted by *xEdenx* /img/forum/go_quote.gif 
i didnt quite catch what you mean lol im a little slow today

reword?



&lt;3

Dragonfly i never thought of it that way before!

thanks for the advice girls





any advice your willing to give im DEFINITELY willing to hear!

There wasa a guy a while back maybe sometime before or after Christmas, being kinda snarky on your facebook page...is that who you are talking about?


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## pinksugar (Mar 4, 2009)

I think reminding yourself of all the bad things usually helps...

even remembering the little, irritating things he did, that you never got mad about at the time, but wish you had? they're your biggest allies when you know that going back or seeing him isn't going to help you - and it wont!

You can do it! good luck


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## AnnaKG00 (Mar 4, 2009)

Girl, I know what u mean. I've been there and when he wanted to see me I said NO. I went over it 100 times in my mind, should I, or maybe so yes no this that. Now, 4 years later I am SOOOOOOOOOOOO glad I did not. I did not give him that satisfaction, and he was just like ur ex, honey. I would advise you to just stay away.


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## 4getmeNot (Mar 4, 2009)

yeah, if it was that bad, just find the strength to get through it &amp; not keep in contact with him. settle for looking at old pictures &amp; letters, but don't let yourself sulk in them. you've moved on &amp; have a new life &amp; can obviously tell what you didn't gain &amp; what was wrong with your relationship. good luck~~~!!!


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## candygalore (Mar 4, 2009)

if you have some many complains about him, don't even think about wannig to see him honey because is a trap he will try to butter you up again. a person who insults you in facebook where anybody can actually read this stuff is a jerk for sure.


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## xEdenx (Mar 4, 2009)

Originally Posted by *Aprill* /img/forum/go_quote.gif There wasa a guy a while back maybe sometime before or after Christmas, being kinda snarky on your facebook page...is that who you are talking about? 
YES THAT WAS!!!

you read it! about desperate b*itch this and pathetic that and crazy and next guys problem.

Update!

well he text me lastnight for like 4 hours about how he is so sorry and he wishes he culd go back 12 months and do it all the way he knows he can and he would give up anything to do so. he told me not to punish the next guy i date for his mistakes because not all guys are *******s and that he should have treated me like a queen because thats how he saw me and all this stuff....

it really got into my head today. and i was talking to a person i confide in and i just started crying. its so hard to hear now all the things i wanted to hear a year ago


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## pinksugar (Mar 4, 2009)

yes, but if he's only saying them now, rather than at the time, then he's most likely just trying to cover his ass, and make himself feel like he's an alright guy.

Alright guys do not write crazy facebook/myspace comments on their ex girlfriend's pages.

I wouldn't believe a word of what he's saying. He's trying to manipulate you emotionally IMO!


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## P.I.T.A (Mar 5, 2009)

_*Stick to your guns, and don't go back to him. Guys/Asses like that tend to be smooth talkers to make you feel like they're going to change. They'll apologize like crazy, and sweet talk you, but you can't fall for it. If it happened once, it'll happen again. It kinda goes with that saying "fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. You just got to remain strong and let him know YOUR in control of this situation and that you're not about to let this all turn into a cycle. I know it will be hard, but you gotta pull through.That's my opinion at least. You seem to have a good head on your shoulders, and I'm sure you'll make the right decision that's best for you. *_


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## nanzmck (Mar 5, 2009)

He shouldn't have to 'treat you like a queen', he should have treated you like an adult, respectfully and honestly.

Always be skeptical when men start throwing cliches at you.


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## Bec688 (Mar 5, 2009)

You're a strong woman, you can do it! You deserve way better hun, we're all here for you if you need to vent *hugs*


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## S. Lisa Smith (Mar 5, 2009)

Originally Posted by *P.I.T.A* /img/forum/go_quote.gif _*Stick to your guns, and don't go back to him. Guys/Asses like that tend to be smooth talkers to make you feel like they're going to change. They'll apologize like crazy, and sweet talk you, but you can't fall for it. If it happened once, it'll happen again. It kinda goes with that saying "fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me. You just got to remain strong and let him know YOUR in control of this situation and that you're not about to let this all turn into a cycle. I know it will be hard, but you gotta pull through.That's my opinion at least. You seem to have a good head on your shoulders, and I'm sure you'll make the right decision that's best for you. *_ Everyone has given you great advice, but I like this one the best! You know what you have to do, you can do it and we're here to get you through it! Giving him up will be like giving up smoking, it is hard at first, but after a while you will go...WTF, what was I thinking?


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## xEdenx (Mar 6, 2009)

lol Thanks you guys are awesome!

Amazing advice... and i do love advice!

So far I haven't gave into temptation.

No contact at all! I'm getting there slowly but surely.


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## b3rly (Jun 29, 2009)

I dated someone like him for 7 years and my advice to you is keep moving forward. Yes it will hurt, and it will be extremely hard, but seeing him will only make it harder for you to move on. You deserve someone better.


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## cmhchic40 (Jul 29, 2009)

Originally Posted by *xEdenx* /img/forum/go_quote.gif I dated a guy for a year and fell completely head over heels for him but now thats over and done with for quite a number of reasons. He was immautre, concieted,rude, anger problems, told me i was too thin to thiss too that not enough of this, never took me ANYWHERE unless i was mad at him... didnt have a job so i was left to foot every bill, loved the ladies, gradually became very physical and was just all around a jerk. I've completely fallen out of love with him and told him this a month ago and he procceded to let his anger take over and yell, swear, insult etc me over phone, texts, and facebook. 
So now 4 weeks later he is coming to me with his usual lame apologies saying i was such a huge part of keeping him on his feet and well never find the love we had with anyone else and all this crap. As much as i know i CANNOT and WILL NOT and DO NOT want to go back for some odd reason i want to see him. just SEE HIM. i miss the good times we did have and i've been there through alot with him and seen him upset and cry and just go through hell. thats what makes it hard... i feel like i've seen his "real" side and his jerk side is not who he really is. I need to forget about him...

What advice have you girls recieved to help you get over a situation like this?

thanks loves






Our hearts will always betray our heads. Here is what I've learned in my 40 odd years of living: True character is only built by hardship and pain. So we go through these lessons and they suck and we are miserable and the lesson ends. Did you learn what you were supposed to from it? If not, you are doomed to repeat that lesson again and again until you finally get it. 
And here is little anecdote from my own life that might help you: when I was very young (17), I got married and had a child. I was divorced a few years later, but we continued to see each other. One night we went to a comedy club and were seated in front of the stage. The comedian asks if we are married and he says, 'no, divorced.' The comedian says, 'let me ask you a question: you're walking down the street, you see a pile of dog crap. Looks like dog crap, smells like dog crap.... do you go back 10 minutes later to see if it is still dog crap?'

God bless. Toni


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## Dalylah (Jul 29, 2009)

All of this is good advice. When you find yourself thinking of him or missing him, remember the bad things and find something to do. Idle time makes it so much harder. Watch a movie, call a friend, come play online... whatever will busy your mind. It really helps. Pretty soon, time will have passed and it will have gotten easier.


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