# Too old to live with parents



## Geek (Dec 25, 2005)

Parents and children living with their parents must have an opinion on what is "TOO OLD" to be still living with their parents. Sometimes, people actually have a parent or parents as "rootmates" where they share expenses FAIRLY(percentage of the rent/mortgage/utilitie bills/phone etc). Others live with their parents expecting them to pay for everything.

How old, do you think, is TOO OLD for childred to be living with their parents?

Please VOTE in the poll then reply with your opinions.


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## bunni (Dec 25, 2005)

i don't see a poll Tony.

edit: see it now.


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## Geek (Dec 25, 2005)

You are just too fast bunni, refresh. Took me 1 mins to type it up


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## jennycateyez (Dec 25, 2005)

i choose 25 but it depends on the suitation your in


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## Laura (Dec 25, 2005)

I think this is a toughie because i know 20 years ago in Ireland, most people were married &amp; had kids at 21.Nowadays in Ireland, alot of people live at home until they get married or they might move out a few years beforehand. The average age of people getting married is about 30.

Its different for you guys in the US because you are all so independent once high school is over. People move hundreds of miles to go to college etc.. Whereas most people in college in Ireland live at home!


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## bunni (Dec 25, 2005)

great poss Tony!!! I think different cultures will have a different ideas, so we get to see what is the most frequent answer.

I AM fast, hehe, i am the energizer bunni!:icon_razz


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## Jennifer (Dec 25, 2005)

it's hard for me to say because in my culture, you don't move out until you're married and you rarely hear of anyone moving out, unless it's a female. the males live with the parents their whole life (i do know of people who don't, though, but most do).


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## speerrituall1 (Dec 25, 2005)

I believe that over the age of 25 if you are not established in a good job, furthering your education, or have not been saving for several years to purchase your own property.


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## MACGoddess (Dec 25, 2005)

I voted 26 just because I think there are some situations where someone either might go back to living with their parents temporarily... I will NOT be one of those people! lol


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## Sirvinya (Dec 25, 2005)

It completely depends on the situation I think. I moved out at 22 to live with my boyfriend but I paid rent, did a lot of the housework and did my share of looking after the dog. My boyfriend went to uni but after that lived with his mum until he was 30.


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## Cirean (Dec 25, 2005)

I chose 25. I figure that gives you enough time to finish college, get a job, save some money and get the heck out. My brother and I were both gone by 18.


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## Geek (Dec 25, 2005)

It's so interesting to hear all about the different cultures and this topic. I have a friend in India, for example, who continues to live with their parents even after being married to his wife...that is the culture there. Here in Southern California where the real estate is extremely high($700,000+USD for a small house and $1,700USD rent on a small apartment), sometimes people live with them longer OR, what might happen is that parents just help them pay for their own apartment or house.

But, I have to say that around here, where we live, if you are living with your parents longer than like 25-27, then society definitly looks down upon you and would wonder why you might still be there. Now, remember this is NOT my opinion, just the society's in general.

I moved out at 18.


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## mintesa (Dec 25, 2005)

i moved out when i was 16. then i got a BF who lived at his parents. now i am 24 and he is 26. we are planning to move out after graduation summer 2006.


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## peekaboo (Dec 25, 2005)

I moved out at 18 to attend university and I never went back. This was my experience but I feel that every situation is different. I can't really say how old is too old-perhaps when your parents say it is time to go? I had boyfriends and friends and their parents did not want them to leave or allowed them to stay until they could make it on their own. So I really don't have an answer to the poll.:icon_love


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## Andi (Dec 26, 2005)

well I donÂ´t know if you can say that I moved out...I went to Vienna (4 hour car drive away from my home town) to go to med school in Sept 2002. at first I went back to my parents house for every holiday and a lot of weekends too. now I canÂ´t really stand the situation at my parentÂ´s house anymore cause all they worry about is money and different real estate projects so they donÂ´t seem to invest a lot of time they spend with me. so I only come home during longer holidays and try to get away as soon as possible, as soon as IÂ´ve seen all family members

I totally financially depend on my parents though so I canÂ´t really say I moved out cause they pay for everything, which IÂ´m really thankful for.

I donÂ´t see anything wrong with living with your parents for a longer time, especially if you canÂ´t afford your own housing. if your parents are very liberal, I could see sombody living at home for a long time, but if they keep getting involved in your personal life and decisions then I donÂ´t see why youÂ´d wanna stay there.

and personally I think it`s a great step for your personal development if you move out and start to get a bit more independent (at least for a lot of people). since IÂ´m not financially independent I canÂ´t completely say that of myself but I changed a great deal since I moved out, and it helps you "grow up" a lot cause youÂ´re not influenced by people who know you, you get to be your own person and find out a lot of new things about yourself

sorry for the long post :icon_chee


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## Leony (Dec 26, 2005)

Like others have said, this is difficult to choose.

I don't live with my real parents ever since I was a baby, I only lived with my mom and my step father for like 5 years (12-17 years old) and then I was on my own until I met my husband.

But I think there's nothing wrong about living with your parents as long as you like it and comfortable enough for you.


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## bunni (Dec 26, 2005)

I picked one, but i think most of the time it depends on the situation, some people may be trying to take care of their parents, in other cases the kids just live off of the parents and don't want to be independent.


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## canelita (Dec 26, 2005)

Back home there is no time to move out, in fact you get married and you still live with them in most of the cases, I think is nice but I like the way things go here better.

I’m more of an independent person and like to have my own stuff, take the decisions and be able to do as I please. When I came here 4 years ago I got a job and as soon as I could I rented a place by myself, let me tell you that my mom is not happy about it but if I had stayed with her I would have to pay her husband rent and he will still have his “home rules”, so why not go all the way and live life the way I want to.


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## dixiewolf (Dec 26, 2005)

The age only goes up to 26 on the poll and I just turned 28 and I live with my mom. I have never been married so I have lived here awhile, except when I had some roomates and apartment in college. I know tons of people who lived at home during their 20's and 30's, in fact I know extremely few who never moved back home after college. There is no way to afford it if you live remotely close to where I live. Yes, I argue with my mom and sometimes it sucks but I have nowhere to go, I only work part time. There are many reasons for all this but I dont want to get into it. I am planning on moving out next year though.


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## Eva121 (Dec 26, 2005)

I voted 25, that's kinda my limit  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

It all depends, when you go to university and you study for 5 years, you're 23 when you can start working, so until you have save some money, you're probably 24-25. (I am talking about really moving out now, not about living in digs to go to school)

It also depends on being single or not, if you're single, rent is much more difficult to pay when you want to live in the city centre.

I'm 21 now, if I graduate this year and find work rather fast then I will probably move out to live with my bf when I've worked for about a year, when I'm 23.

If parents and kid are okay with living with each other for a long time, I don't see a problem.


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## BeneBaby (Dec 27, 2005)

I don't think there is an age limit as long as kids and parents are happy. I am 25 and live at home. In the SF Bay Area housing is extremely expensive about $1000 to $1600 for a 1 bedroom. I simply can't afford to live alone.....yet. I saw a poll about a year ago that said in order to live on your own comfortably in the Bay Area you have to make over $26 an hour!!!


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## kaori (Dec 27, 2005)

Iam voted!!!:icon_wink


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## cottoncandy (Dec 27, 2005)

personally i believe a person needs their freedom and privacy which they cant really get if they still live at home. they also need to learn to be independent and how to function without their parents. i think around 20 one should be out. my cousin is 30 though and he still lives at home. i moved out at 18 and there is no way in hell im ever moving back in with my parents. it would drive me mad.


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## divamom (Dec 27, 2005)

Well, in my culture, it is common to not move out until you are married. Especially if your a female. I don't think that there is anything wrong with that, but I think that you should help out with the bills and house chores. I didn't move out til I got married at 25. My husband, same thing at 26. It's just normal for our culture. Perhaps it's b/c our culture is very family oriented and in the US (which we live in) is very indepentant oriented, with the "once your 18, get out" mentality. Which, there is nothing wrong with that, just different. My parents and I had talked about that many times. They, being from Mexico, think that it's strange that once a person is 18 that they should leave the nest. I remember my in-laws telling my now husband that he can stay at home as long as he wanted, LOL. I'm assuming it was until he was married. But, even now, we always go to our parents house to visit them, and hang out. It's just a normal thing for us, we're a close knit family...

I do agree though, that the older you get, you do need more independence and freedom. At times it can be annoying living at home b/ you want your own privacy. But for me, when my kids get older, I am going to raise them like my parents raised me, as far as the staying at home thing goes.

That's just me though...


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## Amethyst (Dec 27, 2005)

I have mixed feelings on this. I think that if you're an adult and still living with your parents, there's nothing wrong with that providing you are contributing something to the household expenses.

But suppose you are unemployed, have no money (all for legitamite reasons, not for slacking off) and your parents willingly let you live with them until you can get on your own two feet? I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

On the other hand, if you're lazy, refuse to get a job and are in your mid 20s and not going to school, there's no reason for you to get up, get out and start earning some money on your own.

So this is why I didn't vote.


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## lilla (Dec 27, 2005)

:icon_smil Did you move to Sweden Cottoncandy? Sorry if you've already posted, I missed it. My cousing is studying at an university in Sweden and he loves it.


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## GraceGirl7 (Dec 27, 2005)

It really does depend on your situation. I moved out when I was 18, then moved back in when I was 21, moved out again at 22, and then my hubby, son, and I lived with them for about 10 months when I was 24 when he lost his job. I voted 25, but I think if you're 21-22 and not making any effort to find a place of your own, then that might me too old. Alot of people just mooch off of their 'rents for as long as they can!!


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## suzukigrrl (Dec 28, 2005)

Unless you are unable to work (disabled, etc) or in school full time, there is no reason why a grown child can't at least pay rent, bills, etc for their parents. I have no problem with the children staying with their family, but they need to be supporting themselves one way or another instead of taking money from their poor old parents.


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## FeistyFemme (Dec 28, 2005)

I voted for age 25.

I'm 20 years old and will be 21 in a couple of months, and I still live at home with my family. My parents do pay for everything right now, but I plan to find a part time job once I get settled in university (as I'm about to switch schools). When I do have my job, I'll pay for my own things, which will help out a lot. When I finish school, if I'm not married, I will live at home and save money for a down payment on a house. Even then, I still plan to contribute to the household and help out financially. The plan is to be out of the house by the lastest at age 25.


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## GraceGirl7 (Dec 28, 2005)

Agreed.


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## NYAngel98 (Dec 28, 2005)

I'm 25 &amp; I still live at home... I give my dad rent $, and I work... but apartments and houses out here are REDICULOUS! And although I'd love to have my own place, I'd literally be left with like $10 in my pocket to live on (if there would even BE any left over.. I would probably not even have enough) so I don't feel the need to run out yet &amp; leave myself strapped just to be able to say "I have my own place". My parents let me come &amp; go as I please, I don't have any problems having my bf stay here, and I love being close to my family... so I don't feel the need to rush out until I know I can live comfortably and afford being on my own.


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## Liz (Dec 28, 2005)

i said 25. if you've been working and everything, hopefully money was saved.

i can understand if something happened though. like if i broke up with my bf right now, i would most likely move back to my mom's house because rent around here is so expensive too and i don't want to burn up my savings.


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## jessica9 (Dec 28, 2005)

i have been in and out of my parents' house for the past 7 years (i'm 25 now). Actually, I just had to let go of my nice apartment in DC and move back home to Northern Virginia with them. It will only be until the next semester, but still - there is definately a stigma attached to living at home in America.

To be honest, I like living at home. I like my parents, I have more room, and I contribute to the household by making meals and cleaning the house...organizing. And I think they like it when I am here too. I am home because I have had medical problems (which could techniquely qualify me to receive disability, but I don't want it) that have prevented me from finishing college and being independent. Perhaps if my family were based outside of the Washington, DC area (all my friends with college degrees and good jobs here have roomates or live in group homes because of high real estate), I would probably be independent and on my own. They support me financially in many ways, and I am lucky that I come from a family that can afford to do that for me.

Lots of people I know here live with their parents, but the stigma is still there. I admire other cultures that regard the nuclear family so highly. When you walk down the street in DC and see all the homeless people, you can't help but ask yourself, "Don't they have any family that can help them get back on their feet?"


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## Estrelinha (Dec 28, 2005)

I think it depends on what culture you're from! :icon_chee


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## Xexuxa (Dec 29, 2005)

I'm 20, still live at home, AND I WANT TO MOVE OUT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

But I'm a full-time student at a private college and can't afford it, it SUCKS  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />


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## eightthirty (Jan 31, 2006)

Amen!! Tony, I'm hurt! I'm 26 and I'm with my rents :icon_cry (J/k)

I can't believe I'm just now seeing this, but it does depend on the situation. I moved out when I was 17 and returned when I was 20 because of my (still pending) divorce. (Don't ask).


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## dixiewolf (Jan 31, 2006)

Well I was moving out soon, was going to be last weekend, but I got scared and wanted to wait. We had a great weekend and then he called and we got in fight and I dont know what about (it started with a movie I wanted to see). He cried and said he didnt want us to break up and he loved me, but his break up email (yes, email, after 4 years) was really mean. Anyway, I gave him back his key. Now I am applying for out of town jobs b/c there are none here, then I will be financially stable to live on my own. Originally we were getting married this spring, so guess thats a no go. But thats why I was waiting.


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## Cool Kitten (Jan 31, 2006)

he broke up with you through e-mail? :icon_roll What a waste of space.


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## eightthirty (Jan 31, 2006)

I hate emails and I hate cell phones for this very reason. The whole world, has become disconnected. What a turd! I'm so sorry to hear that.


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## MacForMe (Feb 1, 2006)

Ugh. I was just talking about this with my friends last night. I am home.. *again* but not for too long! I only moved home, cuz I had to get out of the apartment I shared with my (now ex) husband. it was an unsafe place. My mom was cool with my moving back. I do pitch in financially. And finally found my own place. Its gonna be tough, but i can do it. I dont have much by the way of furniture etc. but i can do it!

Living at "home" with mom is hard, cuz she treats me like i am 5. In the NY/NJ/Conn area, rent is killer high. 1000$ for a 1BR apartment, PLUS utilities, other then heat/hot water. Its EXPENSIVE! Never mind add fuel prices, car insurance, food, etc..etc.. and god forbid you have an emergency.. oyyy..


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## eightthirty (Feb 1, 2006)

Congrats on your finding your own place. I know what you mean about it being hard. My mom is constantly in my business.


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## Cheebs (Feb 1, 2006)

I picked 26 since it all depends on your situation. I'm currently in school right now and it's way too expensive to move out and pay for tutition on your own. I plan to go into post graduate school so that means another 3 years added to my 5 years for my bachelors. So I'll still be living with my parents for the next 6 years!


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## Becka (Feb 2, 2006)

I think by 22/23 ish a kid should be either contributing $ to the household or moved out permanently, and make a go of it, unless they are still in university or getting some education, then I think staying home til late 20s when the education is finished is reasonable. Some go to University straight from school to almost 30, they really can't afford to live on their own, they're lucky to cut any salary w/in a year or two of graduating. Moving back home for financial reasons doesn't really count as not having left home, that happens to lots of people, I mean the mean thing is to have made a go of it.

Its also really tough, times get more expensive all the time, it costs way more to start out on your own than years ago. I lived w/ roomates off and on til I was about 23, couldn't survive otherwise.


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## Never2muchMU (Feb 2, 2006)

I dont think there's any age where you're too old to live w/parents DEPENDING ON THE CIRCUMSTANCES. If someone, I guess 24 y.o. or more is living w/the parents and being a moocher, well, that is just plain wrong and quite trifling.

Actually prior to VERY recently, I have considered that question and thought that 24 should be the point where a child needs to go. However, I am in my 30's and came extremely close to moving in w/my parents even though I can well afford to be on my own and have been for quite some time.

I considered it because my parents asked me to. My mom has been ill and my Dad has been the only one able to look after her during the week. I go over on weekends, but we dont live in the same city....they're about 45 minutes away. Also, my Dad and Mom said that they want to see more of me, so if I moved in I could be closer and spend more time w/them and I thought it would be great to give my dad a break once in a while. In the end I couldnt do it but that is only because of a personal issue that I cant really speak of. But, if things ever straighten out for me and my issue, I'd definitely reconsider their offer.


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## girl_geek (Feb 2, 2006)

I agree it depends on the situation and culture.... I think that if you're able to work and are finished with school, then if you live with your parents you ought to be contributing financially or somehow helping out! (Like my 21-year-old brother who dropped out of college due to a lot of complicated issues I won't get into here-- he is now living at home and helping out on my parent's ranch.) However, I see nothing wrong with living with parents and not paying rent temporarily when you are between jobs or something -- hubby and I just spent a month living my parents in between graduation and starting my new job in a new city because we didn't have a chance to find an apartment in the new city. But my parents missed us while I was away at grad school so they were thrilled to have us stay with them  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" /> (We are 24 and 25 if that makes a difference...) And I know they would welcome us back anytime temporarily, but I also know that they wouldn't just let us live at home permanently and mooch because once my brother decided to quit school, they made him work on the ranch if he wanted to stay at home  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />


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## Marisol (Feb 2, 2006)

I agree with Amanda. I wish I could move out but I dont make enough to be able to afford my own place. I live with my mom and sister and I pay for half of everything so i don't feel like a moocher or anything. Once I am able to afford living on my own and being able to help my mom financially, I will totally move out.


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## Jennifer (Feb 2, 2006)

amanda, i'm sorry to hear that  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" /> i hope you're okay.


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## birdwing (Feb 3, 2006)

I moved out when I was 18 but moved back in again at 26! I didn't move out again until I was 30! Maybe I shouldn't have moved back in, but things were difficult at the time.


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