# It's not a big deal.... but it's a big deal :(



## pinksugar (Jan 2, 2010)

My parents booked a cruise while I was away overseas at the end of last year. We were chatting about it this week and it turns out that it will be 2 weeks during the month of september, which is the month that graduations are held at my university. Since they will only be here for the last week of sept, chances are, they are not going to come to my masters graduation.

I'm really hurt about this - they aren't prepared to re-book, because they'd lose their deposit, but how many times am I going to graduate, as compared to how many times this cruise will be offered? (Also, I feel that since this would be their 2nd [short] cruise this year, and their 3rd in 18 months, that they should choose me over drinking cocktails in the sun!)

I know I should just chill out until I know for sure the exact date of my graduation, and whether they'll miss it, but...

I did have a bit of a sob by myself tonight, thinking about it.


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## janetsbreeze (Jan 2, 2010)

I definitely think that would hurt my feelings as well. Have you talked to them about how you feel? They might not even realize that the dates coincide in their excitement about the cruise.


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## Adrienne (Jan 2, 2010)

That's not right. I know I wouldn't want to lose my deposit but I think it would be a bigger loss to miss my child's master's graduation. Are they determined to go on the cruise if it does fall on your graduation?


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## Dragonfly (Jan 2, 2010)

Have your folks attended any of your other university graduation ceremonies?


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## emily_3383 (Jan 2, 2010)

I dont think its a big deal to me. I didnt even go to my college graduation because i was satisfied with getting my diploma.


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## blueglitter (Jan 2, 2010)

i can understand you being hurt, i would be crushed if this was me and they didnt come, but on the other hand i would think well ok they dont want to come so why should i make them? i dont know it depends how close you are to them? i really think you should tell them how much your hurt by them not attending, this is a big deal (graduation)!!


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## Lucy (Jan 2, 2010)

oh gosh, i'd be upset too. i mean, it's like a rite of passage isn't it? especially for post graduate stuff, which you have to work extra hard at. did they go to your undergraduate ceremony? they might just think that that was the important one, it's not important to you that they come to this one. i'd talk to them and try and stress how important it is to you, they might not even realise you're upset. big hugs!


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## DreeS (Jan 2, 2010)

Like the others are saying, I would talk to them and express how I feel. They might not even realize how hurt you are by this.


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## Andi (Jan 2, 2010)

The graduation ceremony is not be a big deal to everyone. Maybe your parents think itÂ´s not that important to you? IÂ´d let them know that it definitely is and that you want them there....I hope you can work something out!

My situation is the exact opposite!

IÂ´m graduating from med school (hopefully) soon, and I could honestly care less about the ceremony. I get my diploma document days (if not weeks) before the actual ceremony and IÂ´ll be so happy to see the word doctor in front of my name! I get so annoyed when my dad keeps asking when that damn ceremony is and IÂ´m like "DonÂ´t know...donÂ´t care". But I guess IÂ´ll have to go since it seems to be so important to my family.


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## pinksugar (Jan 2, 2010)

they attended my undergraduate ceremony (here in Oz we dont' have a big ceremony to finish HS or anything) - they definitely know it's important to me, and I suppose that's part of what I found shocking, that they didn't even consider ringing the cruise people to find out if some kind of change in date or something would be possible, they just kind of said, 'that's too bad'

I mean, I will only graduate with a masters once, whereas I am sure this will not be the only cruise to that particular island to be held for the rest of their lives. You know?


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## Bec688 (Jan 3, 2010)

I'd be hurt and upset too! Parents can be so inconsiderate sometimes..



Just talking to you about uni is enough to know that it (uni) and your graduation are a big deal to you. I hope they have a good think about it and hopefully change their plans. I would think as a parent that would be such a proud/exciting moment, acknowledging all you have achieved and celebrating it!

Aww I'll come down for it!


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## internetchick (Jan 3, 2010)

I'd be hurt too.


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## Dragonfly (Jan 3, 2010)

I didn't catch the first post where you said your folks would lose their deposit if they rescheduled. My dad and step mom have taken several cruises themselves. They have never rescheduled, but I know its a it's a hefty price.

In Canada, there are many universities and colleges that hold more than one graduating ceremony. Just an idea but maybe you could look into changing your ceremony date if your parents can't get out of their cruise.


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## Dalylah (Jan 3, 2010)

I wish I had advice but really, I'd be feeling hurt too. It does matter. I would just be honest with them and maybe it won't change anything but maybe there are other options.


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## Chaeli (Jan 3, 2010)

Two weeks in September? That's great cuz now they have about eight months to change their plans with no penalties period.

On the other hand, I would also make sure of the exact date of your graduation and whether or not it falls within that two week period before letting myself get to upset about it first. I wish you all the luck and hope the latter is the case as it will save you much stress and distress.


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## magosienne (Jan 3, 2010)

I'd be hurt too !! I'd try to know more about the exact date, like Chaeli said, and then if it coincides, i'd try to get them to reschedule, considering we're still in january, they may not loose much money. If not, well let them go to their cruise and enjoy your graduation nonetheless. All they will have to remember of that day is their regret of not being there for you.


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## Karren (Jan 3, 2010)

Awww That is a shame.... I agree that you only graduate once....


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## S. Lisa Smith (Jan 3, 2010)

It is understandable that you are upset, but I hope that the graduation is whhile they will be home so they can go.


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## HikerGal (Jan 4, 2010)

I would be crushed and I am so very sorry that they made you feel hurt!!!


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## pinksugar (Jan 4, 2010)

thanks guys... it looks at this point like it will be the day after they come back, so an extreeeemely close shave, but unless something changes, they should be able to come! high five!

(although, grumble, do I really want them there now? lol - kidding)


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## Chaeli (Jan 4, 2010)

Originally Posted by *pinksugar* /img/forum/go_quote.gif thanks guys... it looks at this point like it will be the day after they come back, so an extreeeemely close shave, but unless something changes, they should be able to come! high five!
(although, grumble, do I really want them there now? lol - kidding)

*high five's ya* Awesome! I was hoping it would work out that way for you.


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## pinksugar (Jan 4, 2010)

Thanks Chaeli



Me too!


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## Lucy (Jan 4, 2010)

yay!


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## StereoXGirl (Jan 4, 2010)

Originally Posted by *pinksugar* /img/forum/go_quote.gif thanks guys... it looks at this point like it will be the day after they come back, so an extreeeemely close shave, but unless something changes, they should be able to come! high five!
(although, grumble, do I really want them there now? lol - kidding)

I'm glad everything's going to work out, Rosie!


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## Dragonfly (Jan 4, 2010)

It looks like everything is going to work out after all.

I should have mentioned this earlier - congratulations on getting your Masters, Rosie!


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## Dalylah (Jan 4, 2010)

Originally Posted by *pinksugar* /img/forum/go_quote.gif thanks guys... it looks at this point like it will be the day after they come back, so an extreeeemely close shave, but unless something changes, they should be able to come! high five!
(although, grumble, do I really want them there now? lol - kidding)

I'm so glad to hear this. It's great that it seems to have worked out


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## the_seraphim (Jan 8, 2010)

i understand you must be hurt by this but... and dont take this the wrong way....

do you really want them there considering the way they have gone about this?

and anyway, its just standing up getting your bit of paper and saying hurrah... they didnt even have a ceremony for my degree... it wasnt an option so....


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## pinksugar (Jan 8, 2010)

aww, I'm sorry that you weren't given an option of a ceremony.

I did feel really annoyed for a few days, like - why would I want them there if they don't want to be there?

but they since told me that they WERE looking into cancelling the trip, and that they would have been really upset if they'd missed it - in other words, they appologised for blowing me off in the first place, and really, all I wanted was some understanding and sympathy, I didn't expect them to cancel their trip or do anything crazytown!


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