# How do I get women to treat me with respect



## sue23 (May 2, 2008)

So this hairdresser at my job is on her last month of being pregnant and she is super duper hormonal!

I made one mistake that wasn't life or work threatening and she almost lost it completely. I work the front desk so I make the appointments as well as make sure EVERYTHING in the salon is done and running smoothly. I forgot to get the names of three little girls whose appointment I was booking (haircut) I got the moms name so I didn't see the big deal.

I already don't think she likes me that much because she never talks to me and neither does her other hairdresser friend. She isn't my boss so I tend not to worry if the person who doesn't like me is not the boss, but she is the bosses sister.

Anyway I don't want or need any extra animosity in my life so I want to know how to smooth things over with her. I offer her some snacks, I'm nice to her other hairdresser friend I even go out and get their lunch! I just want to get along with people. I hate it when people dont like me for no reason when I did nothing wrong.

Maybe I'm just needy cause Im on my period but I want peace at work and when I was in high school girls didn't like me and I don't want to repeat that at work.

I don't expect everybody to like me at all but don't treat me like a second class citizen for no reason. C'mon I dont act like I am better than you, I poop, and cry and sleep just like you.

So how would you get them to treat you nicely?


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## Lia (May 2, 2008)

Call her on her bs. Ask her , nicely (because killing with kindness is the best thing), why she's being a bit8ch at you, since you have no fault on what's happening to her.

She might not like you, but will respect you - if you act like a doormat, people will step on you, i always like to remember.


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## pinksugar (May 2, 2008)

I agree with Lia, call her on her bull. I find people think they can get away with treating others like that - because they can!

She sounds like a *****! I would definately try the 'kill her with kindness' technique. Ask her if she's taking on too much and if she needs any help (haha gotta love being passive agressive!)


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## Aprill (May 2, 2008)

Sorry gals but I dont agree with calling out anyone on their bullshit...two wrongs dont make a right.

Take her to the side and find out what's wrong. Sometimes people can be rude and mean when they have things going on in their lives and they dont know how else to vent. If you never been pregnant, last month is bad! It is stressful and for me personally all three times it was painful.

Even if she continues to act like a fool, write it off as yet another passive aggressive female, cause lord the world is full of em. But be the bigger more mature woman in this situation, try to work it out, and if that dont work, ignore her ass


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## internetchick (May 2, 2008)

Originally Posted by *Aprill* /img/forum/go_quote.gif Sorry gals but I dont agree with calling out anyone on their bullshit...two wrongs dont make a right.
Take her to the side and find out what's wrong. Sometimes people can be rude and mean when they have things going on in their lives and they dont know how else to vent. If you never been pregnant, last month is bad! It is stressful and for me personally all three times it was painful.

Even if she continues to act like a fool, write it off as yet another passive aggressive female, cause lord the world is full of em. But be the bigger more mature woman in this situation, try to work it out, and if that dont work, ignore her ass

I agree.


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## pinksugar (May 2, 2008)

I'm pretty sure that's what Lia and I meant - not be all 'hey, you're being a *****, wth is wrong with you?' but more that you noticed they're upset and ask if there is anything specific troubling them etc.

I think we should cut this woman some slack since she is pregnant and hormonal, but that being said, it's not cool to have a go at people in the work place and think that's ok. She's still creating bad feeling and awkwardness. Not cool.


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## Lia (May 2, 2008)

Yup , Rosie. That was what i meant to say. Not to call her and ask 'what the f*** is wrong with you" , but "Hey, is there anything wrong with you? I noticed you acted a bit strange with me earlier, is there anything i could do to help you?"


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## Dragonfly (May 2, 2008)

I don't always get along with female co workers. But what I do find that works is bringing in treats like donuts, cookies or even strawberries.

Or maybe organize a little potluck.

Do you ask these ladies things about them - like children? All moms love to talk about their babies.

All this stuff will do is show that you are extending yourself and that you want to be included - even if you really don't want to.

And I agree with Aprill - this is a time for diplomacy.


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## S. Lisa Smith (May 2, 2008)

Originally Posted by *Carolyn* /img/forum/go_quote.gif I don't always get along with female co workers. But what I do find that works is bringing in treats like donuts, cookies or even strawberries.Or maybe organize a little potluck.

Do you ask these ladies things about them - like children? All moms love to talk about their babies.

All this stuff will do is show that you are extending yourself and that you want to be included - even if you really don't want to.

And I agree with Aprill - this is a time for diplomacy.

Yep!!


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## kellianne76 (May 2, 2008)

Originally Posted by *Lia* /img/forum/go_quote.gif Call her on her bs. Ask her , nicely (because killing with kindness is the best thing), why she's being a bit8ch at you, since you have no fault on what's happening to her.
She might not like you, but will respect you - if you act like a doormat, people will step on you, i always like to remember.

I agree!


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## Johnnie (May 2, 2008)

Originally Posted by *Aprill* /img/forum/go_quote.gif Sorry gals but I dont agree with calling out anyone on their bullshit...two wrongs dont make a right.
Take her to the side and find out what's wrong. Sometimes people can be rude and mean when they have things going on in their lives and they dont know how else to vent. If you never been pregnant, last month is bad! It is stressful and for me personally all three times it was painful.

Even if she continues to act like a fool, write it off as yet another passive aggressive female, cause lord the world is full of em. But be the bigger more mature woman in this situation, try to work it out, and if that dont work, ignore her ass

Totally Agree


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## AprilRayne (May 2, 2008)

It sounds like you're doing everything you can to get her respect. If it's not working, than it's her problem, not yours! I'm sure she's just uncomfortable and hormonal with the pregnancy and hopefully once the baby comes, it will get better! Have you tried talking to her about it?


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## MakeupByMe (May 2, 2008)

Quote:
Anyway I don't want or need any extra animosity in my life so I want to know how to smooth things over with her. I offer her some snacks, I'm nice to her other hairdresser friend I even go out and get their lunch! I just want to get along with people. I hate it when people dont like me for no reason when I did nothing wrong. 
Maybe I'm just needy cause Im on my period but I want peace at work and when I was in high school girls didn't like me and I don't want to repeat that at work.

I don't expect everybody to like me at all but don't treat me like a second class citizen for no reason. C'mon I dont act like I am better than you, I poop, and cry and sleep just like you.

So how would you get them to treat you nicely?

*I seriously think you need to stop being so NEEDY!!!!!!!!! yes I said it Not tryin to be mean but when you have that personality like " oh why me?, Everybodys mean to me" ppl can tell &amp; they will ignore you / disrespect you cuz they know your easy "prey" &amp; some ppl get a rise out of being mean especially to ppl like you who dont stand up for them selves!!!!!!! I'd suggest stop getting there lunch stop offering stuff dont be mean but dont act desperate to be liked!!!!!!!!!! &amp; you mentioned ppl didnt like you in school &amp; now its starting to happen at work...........You kind of have to take a step back &amp; think maybe its not them that are the problem!!!!!!!!!!!*


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## Adrienne (May 2, 2008)

Originally Posted by *Aprill* /img/forum/go_quote.gif Sorry gals but I dont agree with calling out anyone on their bullshit...two wrongs dont make a right.
Take her to the side and find out what's wrong. Sometimes people can be rude and mean when they have things going on in their lives and they dont know how else to vent. If you never been pregnant, last month is bad! It is stressful and for me personally all three times it was painful.

Even if she continues to act like a fool, write it off as yet another passive aggressive female, cause lord the world is full of em. But be the bigger more mature woman in this situation, try to work it out, and if that dont work, ignore her ass

I completely agree. I know when I was pregnant the last two months were horrible. I was sleep deprived since i couldn't even get comfortable bc i had gotten so big!! To be honest, I would actually just kill her with kindness. Ive been there and i know how bad pregnancy can be but that doesn't give her the right to think that she can do whatever she wants.

My friend was already spoiled to begin with but when was pregnant she was just a pain in the ass. I literally called her out one day when she was being dispectful and whiny and basically told her, "Hey, i know whats pregnancy's like but i sure as hell was never a huge b**** about it. Have more respect bc once that baby's born, they're gonna care less about your ass being sleep deprived or hormonal. Practice your attitude while you can."

I can assure you that shut her up and she definitely bit her tongue and i went on like nothing had happened.


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## ColdDayInHell (May 2, 2008)

I say treat everyone the way you would like to be treated and if they don't respond in kind, then it's their problem and bending over backwards for them or bribing them is not going to change their mindset - they might take advantage of you but they're still not going to like you. I which case, just be civil and do your job well.






By the way, how was this woman's behaviour towards you before she got pregnant?


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## kdmakeuparts (May 2, 2008)

Pregnancy really brings out the beast in us! Try offering her extra help since she is SO pregnant and more than likely miserable! And see if her attitude changes when she returns from having her baby.


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## sue23 (May 3, 2008)

thanks a lot!

I spoke with her today. I was scheduling her too much even though i asked her to schedule her breaks so she is comfortable.

I dont know whats up with the other one but i dont care. As long as i do my job well then there is nothing to worry about.

I will just double check with her from now on.


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## pretty_pink13 (May 3, 2008)

I have never been able to get along with other females, especially ones I work with, it sucks because I am really friendly and nice and no one I work with seems to think so...

anyways, I am glad you talked to her hopefully things will be working out for you.


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## laurreenn (May 3, 2008)

yea sometimes people can just have an issue with you and there's nothing you can do. i think you're doing the mature thing by just letting them deal with whatever they're going with but sticking to doing your job right


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## _withoutYou (May 4, 2008)

I've always have had the same problem with certain women in life. It's not you, it's them.


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## pinksugar (May 4, 2008)

glad to hear it's sorted out!


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## cherryblossom13 (May 4, 2008)

I had the same problem with a girl at my work a while back. I didn't know why she didn't like me and it made going to work suck. I just killed her with kindness and it's like nothing was ever wrong before. I actually confronted her about her moods, and she was like Oh I never felt like that towards you.

I think some girls just get a little crazy.

Good luck! I feel for you


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## MakeupByMe (May 5, 2008)

Quote:
I've always have had the same problem with certain women in life. It's not you, it's them. I agree but I think EVERYONE at least Once has had a problem with other people But when its ALWAYS &amp; with All Girls &amp; in high school &amp; in there adult life &amp; so on ......Uhm yeah Its gota be you thats the problem &amp; when they Always Blame Other ppl than its never gona change!!!!!!!!!


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## PrissyB (May 14, 2008)

I had a pretty similar situation with a few friends and even my soon to be mother in law once. You know what ended up working for me in both situations ( just put it together too), I just stood up for myself and stopped caring what they thought of me. Somehow my mother in law loves me now, and I lost a few friends, but the real ones stuck around. =)...its not just standing up for myself that did it, it was doing it with the intent to not care what they felt about it. Not saying you need to get "dirty" but take care of yourself. Sometimes people only treat you the way you'll let them.


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