# Can you fall in..



## MissMissy (Jun 13, 2007)

I have a question? Is it possible to fall back in love with someone? Like love them, and just your love slowly fades.. there is still love there, but something missing. I guess i am just hoping that, that something missing will refill if i try! Anyone got any storys about falling back in love with someone. or why they fell out of love with that person or so on..

Ever since i was hurt by my loved one something is missing.. and i want to be with him and i want to fix it.


----------



## AngelaGM (Jun 13, 2007)

Again, I think that you are entirely too young to be so seriously involved. I think you are missing dating a variety of different men before you settle down.


----------



## MindySue (Jun 13, 2007)

i dont have any tips for you but i dont believe in the 'too young' to be seriously involved..honestly what is age? just because shes 19 doesnt mean she cant want to be with the same person and love them. not everyone wants to date tons of guys just to experiance it, especially if she thinks shes met the one she wants to be with. i dont see a problem with the age, but i do see a problem with falling out of love..no tips but i duno seems like you should maybe move on, how were you hurt?


----------



## AngelaGM (Jun 13, 2007)

When you both get older and more mature, you will understand.


----------



## MindySue (Jun 13, 2007)

maybe..but when you're in love with someone you arent just going to say oh im so young seeya later even though i care about you..

nor does that 'too young' have to be the case for everyone..lots of people fall in love young and get married and lead happy lives, heck theres tons of them i can think of right now on MUT..

and I know lots of people older than I am that arent as mature as me..maturity doesnt always come with age..and it can happen to people a lot sooner than others.


----------



## AngelaGM (Jun 13, 2007)

I am going to get off my soapbox, now as I can tell you are not understanding my point of view. 18 or 19 years old means limited life experience.


----------



## Ashley (Jun 13, 2007)

I hope no one is offended. I think that's the best way to put what Angela is saying (or at least what I think) is this: it's not really a matter of maturity, but that as you grow older, your taste changes along with your personality. And the more experiences you have in life and with relationships, the more you know what you are looking for and what is best for you. That way, it doesn't rule out that some can meet the perfect match when they are young, meanwhile, others may need more time until they understand what they are really looking for


----------



## MindySue (Jun 13, 2007)

it's just frusterating to always hear 'youre too young' and i definately hear it a lot on this site, as most of the members are older. i guess it's good advice from people who have experienced more but people are just going to experience life the way they want to anyways, no matter what others say to object.

the answer you gave really isnt going to change her mind as she thinks shes in love with this man, she just wanted advice on how to fall back in love which might be silly but hearing 'youre too young to be seriously involved' isnt going to do any good..and just kinda makes me cringe because i would hate for someone to tell me im too young to have serious feelings for someone instead of dating around to check out all my options first.

im not affended, just don't like hearing 'youre too young'..i hear it so often that it just starts to bother me..like im not part of this elite "club" of older members who get to say it to young people, lol...


----------



## AngelaGM (Jun 13, 2007)

You explained that perfectly=) Kudos to you=)


----------



## empericalbeauty (Jun 13, 2007)

Originally Posted by *MindySue* /img/forum/go_quote.gif i dont have any tips for you but i dont believe in the 'too young' to be seriously involved..honestly what is age? YOU TOOK THIS RIGHT OUT MY MOUTH!!!! I am so tired of people saying that all the time. "experience more men". "date around"..what if the girl doesnt want that? So should age be a determinant for when a girl settles down or who she settles down with? I personally am a 1 man kinda girl. I dont see myself being with anyone else...and It doesnt freak me out. but hey, whatever floats your boat.


----------



## pinksugar (Jun 13, 2007)

All I will say is you wont be able to get that 'experience' unless you become 'seriously involved'. for me, 13 is too young to be seriously involved. I honestly thought I would be with my first ever boyfriend forever. 7 years later I have been with lots of other people and he's knocked up some chick and they've had a shotgun wedding.

Whether you fall back or not is not something you can dictate. Sometimes you might never get over the hurt. That being said, whether you do or you don't, you'll learn something valuable that you can take away and add to your store of life experience.

I hope everything works out, but if it doesnt, then just know that that's ok and you got something out of this. Best of luck chicken


----------



## katnahat (Jun 13, 2007)

You shouldn't TRY to fall back in love with someone. If you don't have the same feelings you did, it is time to move on. It is unfair to the other person to stay in the relationship if you don't return the same type love.

To play it safe, take a break from the relationship. If you are away from him for a while and you like it then you have your answer. People tend to "get use" to people. It is natural to feel weird about changing your life by moving on from someone. That IS life though. At your age, you are just starting to form your criteria of a partner. The guys I liked at 18 are NOTHING like the guys I am interested in now.

You have a better chance of winning the lottery than finding your "life partner" when you are 16, 17 or 18. There is not a single couple from my high school days still together. I know this may sound cynical but it's fact.

Most importantly don't feel like you have to have a man. It is OK to be single!!

Good luck to you!


----------



## MindySue (Jun 13, 2007)

well shes 19 so there, heh.

joking


----------



## chic_chica (Jun 14, 2007)

i started datin my bf at 17...we are both 23 now...and still in love. yea we had our tough times....but we know we want to spend the rest of our lives with each other. We do love each other...but at time it gets boring and dull...but that doesnt mean that we don't love each other.

Spending time apart does re-kindle a relationship, u need to do nice things for each other.

Maybe u just got bored from the relationship cuz nothign exciting was happenin...maybe u do love him and didnt fall out of love.


----------



## Killah Kitty (Jun 14, 2007)

Originally Posted by *MissMissy* /img/forum/go_quote.gif I have a question? Is it possible to fall back in love with someone? Like love them, and just your love slowly fades.. there is still love there, but something missing. I guess i am just hoping that, that something missing will refill if i try! Anyone got any storys about falling back in love with someone. or why they fell out of love with that person or so on..
Ever since i was hurt by my loved one something is missing.. and i want to be with him and i want to fix it.

You sound like me aw I dont kno what to say except that I feel ya and Im sorry its some terrible feelings you gotta go through... Im your age too Ive been with this guy almost 2 years but he too did some things that really hurt me and now it feels like something is missing too. What can I say? You two need to talk about it seriously and decide if itd be better to go seperate ways or not. We talked and he told me he really REALLY wanted to try make it work be with me and so on I wont ramble on about our whole story but we talked and talked and talked, took a little break, wanted each other back. So now we are trying to make it work again and I guess you just have to see how it goes, even I dont know if me and him will ever be the same again. I used to love him SO MUCH and I find it so hard to want to again because of the things that happened but we are just trying and thats about all you can do. If you see it going nowhere you need to move on and stop wasting your time I know that is harsh but its the only thing you can do to change and move forward with your life again. Keep trying Id say and use your own judgement....I wish I could tell you if you'll fall in love and itll be the same again but even I dont know yet.... Well best of luck to you both Hope I helped some


----------



## CellyCell (Jun 14, 2007)

This thread makes me sad




lol.

Err, I guess with time you can fall back in love?

Not much help here but it's not something you can force upon a person just like "falling out of love" wasn't a forced feeling either. It happens gradually.

Angela &amp; Mindy both have valid points.

With age, like Aplsmash said, your taste changes aslong as personality.

But just because some of us are still in our teens doesn't mean we can't handle a mature relationship.

I hope the best for you MissMissy


----------



## MissMissy (Jun 14, 2007)

well thanks for all the adivec for one. but i know i want to stay with him. i haven been with him 4 years have our own house and land and cars together. he is great i love spending time with him and we want to make it work. i just need to get my shit together


----------



## AngelaGM (Jun 14, 2007)

I have Bi Polar Disorder as well and some days my mood is so low, I wonder why I ever got married. But I know that my low moods pass. The fact that you cheated on him is a red flag about your relationship. And you still never told us why your feelings towards him changed. I hope he is not physically abusing you.


----------



## chantelle8686 (Jun 14, 2007)

firstly u sound confused about something, maybe watever it is u need to think about it.

i have also been with my bf for 4 yrs and i dont think we fall outta love, we just hate each other when we have a huge fight lol!!!

i dunno wat else to say, but i went thru a stage where i thought i wanted something diff, so i took sometime to myself ans realized i didnt want to change things.

Myabe go and spend some time with some friends go have some fun!!!!!

I realized the only that was making me feel like crap was that i was always stuck at home doing the whole wife thing and i still wanted to go out and have fun, but i wanted to do so with my partner. maybe u 2 need to get away and have some fun. but see i dont really know as i dont noe wat going on.


----------



## BeneBaby (Jun 14, 2007)

I met my BF when I was 15. We were first loves. I totally understand the intensity that you feel towards your guy, I felt like I couldn't live without mine. We have known eachother for 11 years and out of those 11 we were together for 6.

I do think there are different phases in relationships. Sometimes I am annoyed by my BF and it can last for weeks. Other times I can't get enough of him. I don't think that the "In Love" more or less applies. I always am in love with him, it'a just different sometimes. I do know that if he hurt you, chances are those feelings will stay with you. If you really love him then hopefully you will forgive him.

I do want to say that people can find true love at a young age. I may not have known how to handle and manage the feelings I had, but they were and still are very real. I don't think Love has an age limit, but relationships do.


----------



## pinkbundles (Jun 15, 2007)

From my personal experience, I realize that there's a lot of things I wanted then that I don't necessarily want now and vice versa. People change over time and of course, you have to work to keep a relationship going. But you shouldn't have to also try soooo hard. I think that "missing" part you are talking about is the way you guys were before he hurt you. Maybe it's a sense of loss in trust or security.


----------



## Aprill (Jun 15, 2007)

I think what you are experiencing is not falling out of love, it is just that blah feeling that you get sometimes. The strength of the blah changes. Sometimes it is a tiny annoyance, and other times, it is so strong that you could rip his head off!!! But it is not falling out of love. If that was the case, you would not be there at all. You are young, hell, I am young, and with age comes patience and maturity and that is all. Age aint nothing but a number as it has been said best in most instances. You can find love at any age, I found it at 16, and still with him.

And during that time we grew together and apart all at the same time, but we are still together. If you feel there is no need to "date", then there is no need. We all get tired of our husbands, or boyfriends, or significant others, or whatever someone may have. Just be strong.


----------



## MissMissy (Jun 15, 2007)

no no he does not abuse me. if anything i abuse him when he pisses me off i slap him in the arm hard or yeah its not acceptable i know and im getting help.. he hurt me by cheating.. i forgive him but i just dont trust him as much as i did.

we make mistakes i almost left he told me how sorry he was and just it was a big mess he forgave me no strings attached or anything when i messed up. i forgive him but i am still stuck on it i think.. and there is just something missing every time i say i love you and ij ust dont know what it is.. maybe its the trust cause you have to trust to love.. i love him and love means forgiveness as well. he has never done anything since and never led me to think he would do such things.. to be honest the whole thing brought us together .. in the idea of loosing one another just frightened us i think.. i love him alot i just want this feeling to LEAVE&gt;&lt;


----------



## James (Jun 16, 2007)

For me, the big thing is that love takes work. You always need to be putting effort into your relationship to keep it healthy. EIghteen or eighty, if you pay attention to each others needs and you do things to enhance each others lives, you're going to be in a happy relationship. And if you don't, if you have other things that take too much away from your relationship, it's not going to work.

If you want to fall "back" into love, you and your signifigant other need to work together to make your relationship work. It's an equal effort kind of thing, one of you alone can't do it. But if you're both willing, then definitely you have a chance of fixing things. Personally, I like the website lovingyou.com for ideas on little things that can add to your relationship and help build bonds.


----------

