# When did you say "it"?



## Lucy (Jan 14, 2009)

i've been with my boyfriend for nearly 3 months now.. it's my second serious relationship and i reeeaally like him. i don't love him yet, i'm getting there though and my friends think that 3 months is a long enough time to fall in love but i don't!!

i love mushy stories so i was just wondering how long you girls had been with your SOs before you told them those three little words? and do you remember how you did it? did they say it back immediately?


----------



## StereoXGirl (Jan 14, 2009)

Each relationship is going to be different and move at a different pace. But don't say it unless you mean it!


----------



## Lucy (Jan 14, 2009)

yeah thats totally the worst thing to do!! it takes me so long to just trust someone these days, so i think it's going to be a long while longer before i feel it properly. some people fall in love within days though!


----------



## MakeupByMe (Jan 14, 2009)

I took A Year To Say it &amp; that was like crazy everyone thought i was mean cuz he would always always tell me &amp; I would Never say it lol


----------



## pinksugar (Jan 14, 2009)

yes, it's taken me different lengths of time as well. Also, it depends how much you're seeing each other. If you're seeing each other every day for a few weeks, then it probably wouldn't take as long as if you were going on 'dates' a few times a week.

I'm so relieved to hear that I'm not alone in thinking 3 months is not all that long. The new bf and I met about a month ago, but we didn't officially start dating until last week or so. I wouldn't be ready to say it yet, for sure!

I'm also looking forward to these cute stories you speak of!


----------



## S. Lisa Smith (Jan 14, 2009)

You'll know when it's right. Three months is really too short a time (in most cases).


----------



## LilDee (Jan 15, 2009)

It took us about 1 month and a half.. haha

As I was still a virgin before I met my fiancee, there would be no sex until we felt a real love connection aswell


----------



## Dragonfly (Jan 15, 2009)

Knowing when you feel love, can be confusing.

A lot of people believe that infatuation is love. And with others, they believe sexual attraction is love.

What worked for me was waiting until he said he was in love with me first.

And then I told him I wasn't sure, but I'd let him know when I was.


----------



## bella1342 (Jan 15, 2009)

We said it around six months. I went to Italy for a month, and while it was the most amazing experience ever, I just missed him too much. He missed me like crazy too. We both said it when I got home from my trip. Now it's almost four years later, and we're very much in love.


----------



## Lucy (Jan 15, 2009)

Originally Posted by *bella1342* /img/forum/go_quote.gif We said it around six months. I went to Italy for a month, and while it was the most amazing experience ever, I just missed him too much. He missed me like crazy too. We both said it when I got home from my trip. Now it's almost four years later, and we're very much in love. awww! thats so sweet. i think 6 months is an acceptable amout of time. but as we've said it does vary from relationship to relationship and as rosie pointed out it soo depends on how much time you spend together! me and my bf spend 3 or 4 days out of the week together, sometimes just for lunch, sometimes just for like a walk or something. but when we were first dating we were only meeting up about once a week or so. so when i say we've been together for 3 months its more like we've not actually spent those full three months together.. if you know what i mean.lol!


Originally Posted by *Dragonfly* /img/forum/go_quote.gif Knowing when you feel love, can be confusing.A lot of people believe that infatuation is love. And with others, they believe sexual attraction is love.

What worked for me was waiting until he said he was in love with me first.

And then I told him I wasn't sure, but I'd let him know when I was.

that is so true. it is hard to tell sometimes if you really obsess about it. i think it's best not to concentrate on it too hard and just let it flow. sexual attraction is very different from love, but i think sex does play a key part in it.


----------



## pinksugar (Jan 15, 2009)

fingers, I know exactly what you mean, lol!

TBH, I'm in no rush this time around. I want to wait as long as it takes, and I want it to be real. I don't want to settle for anything less than that!


----------



## Lucy (Jan 15, 2009)

exactly! i think when you've been in love before you're more mature about it. thing is i'm kinda scared he's going to say it before i'm ready to say it back because he's never been in love before.

but i think if i were in that situation i'd be waiting for the other person to say it? i hope he does.


----------



## -Chelsey- (Jan 15, 2009)

I had realized I was in love with my bf before we had actually started dating. We had been really close friends for about 2 years and I just knew I was in love with him and I was young so I told him in a text message lol. But at that time he was immature and didn't say anything back but once we started dating he said it to me first about a month into our relationship.


----------



## Adrienne (Jan 15, 2009)

Originally Posted by *Dragonfly* /img/forum/go_quote.gif Knowing when you feel love, can be confusing.A lot of people believe that infatuation is love. And with others, they believe sexual attraction is love.

What worked for me was waiting until he said he was in love with me first.

And then I told him I wasn't sure, but I'd let him know when I was.

Haha reminds me of me, he told me he loved me after about 4 months and I was like "yea...umm..thanks?" I knew I cared about him but I didn't want to say it first and certainly not before I was completely sure.


----------



## empericalbeauty (Jan 16, 2009)

I said mine 3 weeks into the relationship. Boy, was I in lust. He took his precious little dandy-****ing-time. Said it like 2-4 months after I said mine. I felt like such a clingy *****. Sorry, not really a mushy story. I dont even remember how he said it. I might have even forced him to say it...wow...


----------



## pinksugar (Jan 16, 2009)

lol, I am sooo not going to say it first. I personally think it's much easier for women to say than men (no connotations of losing your macho-ness and stuff) - therefore, it's more likely to be true if he says it.

Haha, that is so sexist, but I need the reassurance of knowing he's not just saying it back because I've said it.


----------



## LilDee (Jan 16, 2009)

Originally Posted by *pinksugar* /img/forum/go_quote.gif lol, I am sooo not going to say it first. I personally think it's much easier for women to say than men (no connotations of losing your macho-ness and stuff) - therefore, it's more likely to be true if he says it.
Haha, that is so sexist, but I need the reassurance of knowing he's not just saying it back because I've said it.

lol! I did say it first.. but atleast he responded the same way! haha


----------



## Annia (Jan 16, 2009)

Originally Posted by *Dragonfly* /img/forum/go_quote.gif Knowing when you feel love, can be confusing.A lot of people believe that infatuation is love. And with others, they believe sexual attraction is love.

What worked for me was waiting until he said he was in love with me first.

And then I told him I wasn't sure, but I'd let him know when I was.

I love you, Carolyn.




I haven't said it yet and neither has he. I have been seeing him since October... he said that he loved me in an e-mail, but I think it was more of a friendly I love you, not that he was in love with me.

I definitely have a thing for this guy, but I am not ready to say I love you.


----------



## fawp (Jan 16, 2009)

The first time we kissed. We had known each other for several years and it had been a long time coming.


----------



## Lucy (Jan 17, 2009)

aw faith thats so sweet


----------



## pinksugar (Jan 17, 2009)

awww, it is sweet! I like all these stories


----------



## Sarah84 (Jan 18, 2009)

I have to admit i said it not long into my relationship with my boyf about 2 months infact, we had known each other for a couple of months before we had got together and knew that there was a very strong connectiont here though it was kind of difficult as he was in a relationship at the time but he finished that because after spending praticually everyday around me for about 2 months he relised he wanted to be with me. Then when we got together we still spent everday together, so I guess I said it after knowing him for 4 months, and after 4 months of being together(6 months knowing each other) we moved in together. Some might say we went to fast or what ever but here we are 2 and a half years later and still extremely happy and in love


----------



## Orangeeyecrayon (Jan 19, 2009)

for me and my current s/o it took me about 3 months to get there, we saw each other basicly every day except for two weeks when he was in the hospital and one weekend when he had to go to his school with his dad to make his schedual.

i first told him during his second hospital visit and we were playing hang man and that was my phrase. Any way he did not imediately say it back because he was not there yet, so i didnt really say it after that for a while because i didnt want to make him feel preasured to say it. and about a month later he started saying it to me.


----------



## Killah Kitty (Jan 30, 2009)

My first serious relationship he started telling me he loved me about a month in, and I said the same to him. It didn't really kick in until about a year later though lol. We ended up being together for almost 3 years though.

My current BF first said it over the phone to me when he was drunk, he lost his watch and I helped him find it, and then he just blurted it out. We were together about a month too, but we were seeing each other for two months before that. I didnt say it back to him that night... but about a week later we were laying in bed eating some take out and he looked at me all serious and said it to me again. I said it back to him.

I think its always easier if the guy says it first... or maybe Im just a chicken lol





I dont think its too soon... I think you just feel it. We see each other usually every day and we talk on the phone for hours. The first night we actually went out together there was just this intense feeling between us... its been that way since that very first date and it still is everyday. So we've only really been together for 3 months now officially... but I think its safe to say we have really fallen for each other.

I wonder if other people think like me? Sorry to ramble lol but I wonder... when you fall in love... do you just know? I mean do you just feel it? I know its nearly impossible to define love so does that mean that you just feel it when it happens? I just wonder because that has always been the case for me lol.


----------



## Lucy (Jan 30, 2009)

Originally Posted by *Killah Kitty* /img/forum/go_quote.gif My first serious relationship he started telling me he loved me about a month in, and I said the same to him. It didn't really kick in until about a year later though lol. We ended up being together for almost 3 years though.
My current BF first said it over the phone to me when he was drunk, he lost his watch and I helped him find it, and then he just blurted it out. We were together about a month too, but we were seeing each other for two months before that. I didnt say it back to him that night... but about a week later we were laying in bed eating some take out and he looked at me all serious and said it to me again. I said it back to him.

I think its always easier if the guy says it first... or maybe Im just a chicken lol





I dont think its too soon... I think you just feel it. We see each other usually every day and we talk on the phone for hours. The first night we actually went out together there was just this intense feeling between us... its been that way since that very first date and it still is everyday. So we've only really been together for 3 months now officially... but I think its safe to say we have really fallen for each other.

I wonder if other people think like me? Sorry to ramble lol but I wonder... when you fall in love... do you just know? I mean do you just feel it? I know its nearly impossible to define love so does that mean that you just feel it when it happens? I just wonder because that has always been the case for me lol.

i think you're right, you do just feel it. problem is with me, and probably many others, is such a big part of love is trust, and it takes me so long to trust boys when so many of them have turned out to be not very nice.

a couple of weeks ago my boyfriend actually said he thought he was falling in love with me, which was sweet. i'm glad he said it because i'm falling in love too, i'm not completely there yet but it's coming. i think when it does come out it will be at a completely random moment rather than in bed or anything. i think the words will just fall out of my mouth.


----------

