# Is something going on here?



## love2482 (Jun 10, 2008)

OK, I need some opinions on this situation. Maybe I am over reacting, maybe not.

I called my fiance today at work to tell him something, and to see if he was going to come visit me at work for lunch. Well, I told him what I had to tell him, and before I asked him if he was going to visit me, he said that he had lunch with Nikki. I was like, huh? Who is that? He procedes to tell me that she is the new regional manager and they went to lunch for a "get to know you" talk. I then asked if it was just him and her, and he said yes. Well, I didn't ask anymore questions, hung up and got back to work. Then, this started to bother me. Why would he need to have a "get to know you" lunch with her? It doesn't really sound professional, and why just him? No one else in his branch???

OK, I also want to add that he already knew her. She has been working for the company he works at, but just last week she became manager of his branch. So it's not like they are "unaquainted" or anything. He also told me before that she was in playboy, and last week he was avidly searching for the pictures of her in the issue that she was in on the internet. Hmmmm.....?????

OK, is it wrong for me to be a little wierded out by this? Or am I just overreacting. Please, tell me your honest opinion!!!


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## MakeupByMe (Jun 10, 2008)

why the hell would he need to search for her on the i-net or magazine????? He would be thinkin about that photo everytime he sees her &amp; since he works with her obviosly he would be seeing her alot !!!!!!! I would be mad but I would have let him know how i felt as soon as he started to get so curious about her!!! I dont know thats just me I have trouble trusting anyone so yeah maybe you should just try n talk things over &amp; ask why he has to spend so much time with her!!


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## internetchick (Jun 10, 2008)

I would be upset. He shouldn't be looking for the pictures of her. It's one thing for a guy to look at naked pictures now and then, but they shouldn't be looking at naked pictures of people they are interacting with. This situation would definitely bother me. I think at the very least he is acting stupid and disrespectfully, though that doesn't mean anything is going on with them.


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## GlossyAbby (Jun 10, 2008)

I wouldnt like the fact that he looked for her on the internet....but sometimes new bosses take out each employee by themselves for lunch get to know each others...


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## fiercely (Jun 10, 2008)

I would definitely be concerned. You should talk to him about that, he shouldn't be looking up coworkers online... especially playboy pictures of her.


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## ivette (Jun 10, 2008)

it is kind of strange that no one else was there.

you should have a talk with your bf and let him know how you feel.


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## Darla (Jun 10, 2008)

i understand your concern about your fiance looking for pictures of her. I'll be honest with you I would probably want to see the pics if there was someone I knew that was in Playboy, and i guess it's just because Playboy always featured some of the most beautiful women. Did he tell you he was looking or did you just see him doing that?

I am maybe more suspicious about her. if she sort of already knew him what purpose does a lunch serve unless its a team building thing. and as you mentioned no team. as for her even mentioning that she was in Playboy that's fine (I mean no shame), but maybe not what you tell someone the first time you meet them in a professional environment. What kind of business is this anyway?

She somewhat sounds like a tease, mentioning the bit about Playboy and inviting him out. You might want to ask him if he thinks its unprofessional.


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## SqueeKee (Jun 10, 2008)

My husband just started work at a new place 2 months ago, he had a "get to know you" lunch but it was with everyone who worked at the Toronto location. Next month he's going to Montreal for a "get to know you" thing at the Montreal head office/warehouse.

I'm just going to add some random thoughts and maybe it'll help!

1) I would be a little curious as to why it was only him and her and no one else? Could no one else make it?

2) I would honestly be curious if my hubby told me someone he worked with was a former playboy model and I would want to look her up as well . . . but that's just me




When it comes to wives, I'm the exception, not the norm





3) Girlfriends and Wives sometimes think way too much of their SO's and husbands. I love my husband and think he's great but that doesn't mean a beautiful playboy model would be trying to get with him if he went to lunch with her.

4) If I were in your shoes and was bothered as much as you are I would talk to my husband about it first and foremost. Tell him how I feel in a _non-accusatory tone/manner_ (this is very important) and ask questions. Hear how he feels about it. You could get tons of different opinions on MUT(and I'm not saying you shouldn't, I come to MUT for support as well) but your fiance's is really the only one that matters in the grand scheme of things.

5) If something *is* going on between them, as much as it would suck major ass, it's better to find out now before you actually marry the guy =/

I hope my randomness helps at least a bit! Please talk to him and let us know how it goes! Just try to remember not to sound accusatory, that never goes well =/


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## Darla (Jun 10, 2008)

good advice Kee


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## Dragonfly (Jun 10, 2008)

To be honest, I would let this slide.

For all you know, she could be doing a lot of one-on-one lunches with other employees.

What you might want to do is: meet your boyfriend at his work, then when you see her, introduce yourself to her.

This meeting may put your fears to rest - especially once you see photos of her significant others at her desk, or her beautiful engagement/wedding band.


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## ~Ms.August~365 (Jun 10, 2008)

A "get to know you" lunch is not uncommon in the work force, true they know each other already... but not as boss and employee. So I wouldn't be upset over it if there was nothing else. But you know he was looking for nude pics of her on the net, so I would be on alert a bit too. Now the fact he felt the need to blurt out that he had lunch with Nikki before being prompted leads me to believe he felt some guilt about it. Maybe it was because of the playboy picture surfing incident, or maybe there is some crush or mutual attraction between the two. But something seems off about this situation. If it is a pressing issue for you, then be upfront with him about how you're uncomfortable with all this. I'm not one for snooping around, but if that's how you like to work... then do what you have to do to put your mind at ease. Or you could just meet him at his job &amp; find a way to introduce yourself to her, she might have a s.o or in the very least, you can feel out the undertones. But at least tell him it's not siting well with you, there can't be results if there's no issue addressed.


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## Adrienne (Jun 10, 2008)

Originally Posted by *Darla_G* /img/forum/go_quote.gif i understand your concern about your fiance looking for pictures of her. I'll be honest with you I would probably want to see the pics if there was someone I knew that was in Playboy, and i guess it's just because Playboy always featured some of the most beautiful women. Did he tell you he was looking or did you just see him doing that?
I am maybe more suspicious about her. if she sort of already knew him what purpose does a lunch serve unless its a team building thing. and as you mentioned no team. as for her even mentioning that she was in Playboy that's fine (I mean no shame), but maybe not what you tell someone the first time you meet them in a professional environment. What kind of business is this anyway?

She somewhat sounds like a tease, mentioning the bit about Playboy and inviting him out. You might want to ask him if he thinks its unprofessional.

I kinda got his vibe as well.

I'm not saying that she IS trying to get with him but i would highly upset if he was looking up a close coworker in the nude. Is his imagination not enough?

This only thing i would suggest is that if he already knew her before and now she's his manager, maybe you two you could meet together with her for an introduction. Only then will you really pick up on if anything is going on.

Personally I'd be suspicious as i don't like the situation. Talk to him.


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## pinksugar (Jun 10, 2008)

Hmm, having read all the responses here is what I think:

a. it is a bit odd that he was having lunch with just her, but if she will be his superior then it's not totally unprofessional or impossible to imagine.

b. if I knew someone in playboy I'd want to look them up too, although, I would do that WITH my boyfriend, as I wouldnt want him to think I liked the person. It really depends if your fiance secretly or openly.

I think this really could be either suspicious or completely innocent, I'd need more details. I would just talk to him about it and see what he says.

Hope everything works out chicken!


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## La_Mari (Jun 11, 2008)

I would be upset too, but don't be mad just yet. Wait until you know everything, I would look her up too, I think anyone would. And it's kind of pathetic of her if she's pursuing your fiance if she is. She could find a single guy w/ probably no problem.


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## puncturedskirt (Jun 11, 2008)

The having lunch part wouldn't of bothered me but him wanting to look up her playboy photos would..... :|:|


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## Johnnie (Jun 11, 2008)

Hmm.....interesting and sucky situation! I'm trying to put myself in your shoes and honestly, I'm getting a little pissed off thinking about it. I would be absolutely livid if my SO looked up photos of her online with or without me. Why does he feel it's necessary to do that?! If he knew ahead of time that he was going to lunch with her and didn't tell me....I'd be even more upset. Obviously, we can't control other people's actions and sometimes we wish we could but just as Darla mentioned, why did she feel it was necessary to tell him she was in Playboy? I truly feel you shouldn't "let it slide". For all you know they're simply having lunch together and there could actually be more that's going on. I'm an extremely vigilant person and when I feel there's something going wrong I'll watch my back and do what I have to do. Sure we love our men but I'm not going to be the one who gets taken advantage of and neither should you. I may sound like I'm taking it to the extreme but I'd rather be safe then sorry. I hope you do what makes you feel better because I know how ugly it feels to be betrayed. Best of wishes! ;-)


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## S. Lisa Smith (Jun 11, 2008)

Originally Posted by *Carolyn* /img/forum/go_quote.gif To be honest, I would let this slide.For all you know, she could be doing a lot of one-on-one lunches with other employees.

What you might want to do is: meet your boyfriend at his work, then when you see her, introduce yourself to her.

This meeting may put your fears to rest - especially once you see photos of her significant others at her desk, or her beautiful engagement/wedding band.

I agree. I think you should remain alert, but don't worry about things until there is really something to worry about. I think that the lunch sounds reasonable and I know I'd look for the Playboy pictures also! Now if it happens again or something else happens, I'd start paying more attention.


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## pinksugar (Jun 11, 2008)

i guess if you just keep hearing her name popping up all the time after this incident I would start to be concerned.

The easiest thing to do is ask him how he would feel if the situation were reversed, and if he can see it from your point of view.


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## KatJ (Jun 11, 2008)

I would be LIVID if my husband's new boss told him that she was in Playboy. That is probably the most unprofessional thing I have ever heard of. Honestly, if it were me in the situation I would have a little chat with Nikki.


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## missjade (Jun 24, 2008)

yeah, i will admit that id be very hurt that he talked so openly about meeting her and mentioning playboy.....however happy that he told you! imagine you found out from someone else! 100,000 times worse! i always thought that i wasnt the jealous type of person until i actually questionned myself! the thought of my man being personal with any other girl does indeed get me FUMINGGGGGG to say the least! of course evrygirl has their own intimate encounters with their fellas, so when we think of other girls they spend time with....................imagining them doing the same is just the flip of the lid!

id go insane if your man keeps bringing the woman into conversation...because clearly she has entered his head.......and become an interest........

let him know exactly how u feel

goodluck xxxxxx


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## Darla (Jun 24, 2008)

any updates?


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## kdmakeuparts (Jun 24, 2008)

Um, ya...no "get to know you" lunches for my Husband with former Playboy models.

Unless I am invited...LOL!!!






Why was it necesary for her to tell him that? She sounds like the one not to trust.

I say keep an eye on the situation. But try not to over-react. You'll know if something really is going on.


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## reesesilverstar (Jun 24, 2008)

I know?! Why the hell is it necessary for you to "mention" to yr employee "Oh yea, I was in playboy before this..." *wink*

WTF?! And him looking for her online? HUGE no no... They've BOTH undermined any professional relationship... She's teasing, he's biting... Plain, simple.

YOU need to address this whole mess, put your cards out, and not stand for rubbish. I don't see any loopholes to let this one slide...


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## Lolita Von Tess (Jul 23, 2008)

I'll be honest i think your husband has a tiny weeny bit of a crush on Nikki.

men are suckers for playboy models, he is just intruged by her

I doubt if its anything serious he'd be more secretive about it.

Don't worry about it*hugs*


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