# Boys



## trulynlove08 (Apr 23, 2007)

im having so much confushion with me and my boyfriend i love him so much but it seems like he is not interseted in me anymore because i gained weight but i know he works about 70 hrs a week so it could just be he is tired. im confused. it seems like everytime i want to go to the club he doesnt and then when he wants to go to the club he doesnt want me to go and then saturday night he came home with some girls number undernieth a guys name..but i know her i just dont like her...and then he called this girlfriend that we have and he said that he called her to hang out with me and then she ended up at the club...he wote her on her myspace and said "hey CUTIE i miss hanging out with your ass..i miss u well tty ears."....i started crying but i knoe he wouldnt cheat on me with her because she is NASTY and has herpies....lol....it sucks for her...so i have no clue what to do i love him with everything i have and we have been together for 3 years....

help me =]


----------



## Ricci (Apr 23, 2007)

U posted in the Hair Talk but I sympathize with you


----------



## trulynlove08 (Apr 23, 2007)

i just started and i dont know where to put it


----------



## Saje (Apr 23, 2007)

Just because you love someone doesnt mean the relationship will work or that person loves you back.

From what I read, he has no respect for you or your feelings at all and he is just down to do whatever he wants because he has gotten comfortable with the fact that he can play around like that and you wont do anything.

Sorry but I really think you can do better than him. I said this to someone else before and I will say it to you... when you find the right guy who wont treat you this way, you will say to yourself "dammit! Why did I waste 3 years of my life with a jerk when I could be treated like a princess."


----------



## brewgrl (Apr 23, 2007)

follow your instinct... if you think your man is doing something wrong, he is.


----------



## trulynlove08 (Apr 23, 2007)

right but i mean there is a side to me that says ur in love with him and ill make things work and then there is this side that is like i hate all the girls that he talks to becasue i cant trust them or him&gt;&gt;??&lt;&lt;


----------



## Saje (Apr 23, 2007)

See it would be a different story if he is doing nothing and the girls around him are the ones instigating stuff. But that is not the case.

So I guess the question you ask yourself is... do you keep making excuses for him, or do you open your eyes and realize that you dont deserve to be treated the way you are being treated now.

Does he even know you feel that way? If he does and he continues to do the things he does... that to me is just inexcusable.


----------



## Ricci (Apr 23, 2007)

Does he know she has herpes?


----------



## luxotika (Apr 23, 2007)

Herpes.........the gift that keeps on giving.


----------



## brewgrl (Apr 23, 2007)

I am so with you on that!!! it seems like he's the one doing all this.

man, i must have been one hard person to date before i got married, because i never thought that i had to "make" a relationship work... it either did or it didn't. i just assumed i was the greatest thing since sliced bread and if they didn't see that, than SEE YA! i didnt have time to deal with crappy drama. i just felt that if i wasnt getting married to this person, than it wasn't worth the heartache, love or not. i had BIGGER things to deal with than crappy boyfriends, like school, jobs, myself. i guess that's what it came down to- i loved myself the most.


----------



## Dragonfly (Apr 23, 2007)

You might have been dating this boy for 3 years but the fact is you are only 17.

I'll wager that your boyfriend is young as well.

It takes boys a lot longer to mature and commit to serious relationships.

Sage is giving you great advice. I will also add this:

If your best friend were being jerked around by her boyfriend, wouldn't you tell her to get rid of him? Wouldn't you want her to be in a relationship where she was being treated with dignity, respect and honesty?

If this relationship is not good enough for her then why are you settling?


----------



## justdragmedown (Apr 23, 2007)

some guys just arent worth your time. Even if you did gain weight thats o reason to treat you how he is. I would dump him or atleast confront him.


----------



## lovespell (Apr 23, 2007)

Don't waste your time with this guy if he's a jerk. Just think all the time you're agonizing over him, you could be spending it with someone who actually cares for you and treats you the way you SHOULD be treated. I've been in similar situations having feelings of infidelity or distaste... you just gotta end the relationship before you get even more hurt.

LOL BTW this is in the hair forum ;P


----------



## scarletmaeve (Apr 23, 2007)

yea smells like a cheater. You can do better. Remember you are responsible for your own unhappyness and you really dont deserve the disrespect. If your serious about the herpes and its not just being catty- STOP sleeping with him. What you choose to do now can affect your whole life, and I know you want to be 100% healthy for that Mr. Right who will be coming along once you move past this guy. Also its important to do some soul searching to determine if you may be attracting men with a cheater personality. BTW do you have a hair question we can answer?


----------



## Ashley (Apr 23, 2007)

I agree with everyone else, I just wanted to add one thing...If a guy loses interest just because you've gained weight, he does not deserve you. He should love you for who you are.


----------



## Nox (Apr 23, 2007)

From what I just read from your original post, it would be good to seriously re-consider where you stand with this guy. Weight gain or no weight gain, that should not be a factor in whether a loved one holds respect for you or not. A person has got to be able to feel some sense of security when their significant other is out in a place with potential temptations and you are not around. It seems like he has given you reason to arouse your suspicion... multiple times.

And another thing: This gal he's hanging around, you suspect she has an STD???

"Him acting strange with her" + "Her having a possible STD" = "Possible trouble you did not bargain for!"


----------



## MozKitten (Apr 23, 2007)

Some people just lose interest in each other. I'm sorry doll, you may love him but he may not feel the same about you as he once did. Have you talked to him about this? If you haven't, then I highly suggest you do.

If you don't like talking to certain girls, then let him know. I know how it feels and believe me, when I don't like my boyfriend talking to certain girls who are whores, I definitely let him know and he respects that.

Don't assume it's because of your weight, you need to talk to him and see what's the real problem. If he really loves you, gaining a few pounds wouldn't matter to him.

I hope everything works out for the best for both you and him.


----------



## hs769 (Apr 24, 2007)

if he is cheating on you just beacause you gained a little weight.. I would guess he was never really in love with you to begin with.. Tell him how you feel about this..if he cant accept you for who you are then its time to find someone who will..


----------



## trulynlove08 (Apr 26, 2007)

well i just found out that i am preg by him...


----------



## pinksugar (Apr 26, 2007)

oh hunny, I hope everything works out. Life sometimes throws us some really friggen HARD situations but you just have to get through them and try to learn by them.

Who knows? everything could work out between you guys. I'm wishing you all the best and if you need to talk I'm always available  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />


----------



## han (Apr 26, 2007)

i really dont know what to tell you to do now that your pregnant but i can tell you what i would do. and this is someone that has been where you are at right now.

i would move on he is a player and i wouldnt keep the baby(im prochoice)

then i would get on birth control so i dont make the same mistakes

a baby does not keep two people together alot of young girls think that it does and try to get pregnant to "trap the guy" im not saying this is your case since you been a couple for three years.


----------



## Dragonfly (Apr 26, 2007)

Han is entirely correct.

If he isn't treating you with dignity and respect now, he sure as heck won't just because you are pregnant. In fact, he will probably resent you because he thinks you are trying to trap him.

Chock this whole situation up as a learning experience. Either have an abortion or put the baby up for adoption, get on the pill and stay on it, and focus on your education.


----------



## sweetnsexy6953 (Apr 26, 2007)

Listen to her. She gives great advice as well as the other ladies. You dont wanna be with him. You know this deep inside. You know hes cheating but you are scared to do anything about it cuz you love him. We've all been there but it only hurts you in the long run to think he'll change when he wont. You need to get rid of him and find someone better who will treat you the way you need to be treated.


----------



## _withoutYou (Apr 26, 2007)

i agree.


----------



## pinkbundles (Apr 27, 2007)

I co-sign this 100%


----------



## ivette (Apr 27, 2007)

:dito:


----------



## MindySue (Apr 27, 2007)

oh dang..well that still doesnt mean that you should stay with him.


----------



## Maysie (Apr 27, 2007)

I hope you can do some soul searching and come up with an answer that'll make you happy! I think that the issue of being pregnant and being with him are 2 totally separate issues, and both deserve thought apart from the other. Don't stay with him just because you're pregnant. Or don't give up the baby if you don't want to...


----------

