# Sad News :(



## pinksugar (Apr 17, 2007)

well, my bf and I broke up last night. Basically, with the amount of uni work he has, plus his job, he doesn't have enough time to spend with me, and he can't be in the type of relationship with me that he wants.

It's really hard because it's not like there is another woman, it's not that he just can't be bothered, he just has too much on. Basically, he refuses to put me before the uni work.

It hurts so much, because he said so many things that I believed, and he believed as well. Not just that he loved me, but that he wanted to marry me when we finished uni - heaps of things.

He actually said he hopes we can keep in contact and when uni is over he's going to try and contact me. He knows it's a really slim chance that I wont be with someone else, or that I would actually want to be with him but he wants to try. But if he can put uni first now, who is to say if we got married he wouldn't put something else before our family? How could I trust him?

I was prepared to see him less, to organise our time better, because for me, to be in a relationship with the one you love more than anyone is the most important thing - even if it's tough going some of the time. I guess for him, you throw the relationship away if it's not perfect.

I know it will stop hurting eventually, but at the moment, it just hurts so, so much, and I never thought I'd have to feel this way again. it's like your heart is being ripped out of your body.  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />


----------



## xEdenx (Apr 17, 2007)

AWEEEE!!! *hugs*

stay strong, you'll be ok. Get a big tub of ice cream and some movies!!

You have MUT to support you!


----------



## ivette (Apr 17, 2007)

i'm sorry


----------



## girl_geek (Apr 17, 2007)

Awww, I am so sorry!

However, this at least shows you are still thinking clearly! I agree with you -- I would think that with marriage, future jobs, children, and whatever else comes your way, life will probably continue to be just as stressful!

However, when you do find someone who is willing to commit even with all the stresses of life, at least then you'll know that you've found a keeper!  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />


----------



## Jessica (Apr 17, 2007)

I'm sorry honey  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />. I know it hurts and it will probably for a little while but it's better now then when you're married that you realize he puts other things before you. I believe if there's a will there's a way....he could make some time for you, even if it is limited and you knew this because you were willing to work it out and obviously he wasn't.


----------



## pinkbundles (Apr 17, 2007)

Aww...I'm sorry hun. Put it this way, at least he was honest with you. It's better to learn the lesson now than when the stakes are much higher (involving kids and marriage).


----------



## Dragonfly (Apr 17, 2007)

I'm sorry you are hurting and that the relationship didn't work out.

I agree that this is the time for a container of ice cream and some good friends.

And we are here for you as well.


----------



## XkrissyX (Apr 17, 2007)

:icon_cry: awwwwww, im sorryy that your feeling like that. But you know how the saying goes " If he comes back to you then you guys are meant to be".

:hug: call your friends for support and A GOOD OLE HUGS.


----------



## KatJ (Apr 17, 2007)

:hugss:


----------



## Saje (Apr 17, 2007)

Everyone said very wise words here and you should listen to them.

we're here for you :hug: and in time it will definitely get better  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />


----------



## natalierb (Apr 17, 2007)

I'm so sorry sweetie! We are here for you if you need any cheering up! You are such a cute girl I'm sure you won't have any problems finding another guy.


----------



## tinktink22 (Apr 17, 2007)

PINK!!!!!!!

Im so sorry. i know how you feel :scared: i was driving home crying. i guess we are at the same point. i wish you lived in la. atleast we could call eachother! im here for you!! ugh i wish i could make it all go away  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" /> hope you feel better. buy make up. thats what i did today i bought make up. sadly it helps!! xoxoxox!


----------



## jessimau (Apr 17, 2007)

I'm so sorry pink!! You'll get through it and someone much better will be waiting on the other side somewhere. Now is definitely the time for sappy music and cheesy girly movies, along with ice cream, of course. *HUG*


----------



## Bec688 (Apr 17, 2007)

Awww sweetie  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" /> *big hug* I'm so sorry, there's nothing I can really say to make you feel better. Just try and stay strong, and everyone is here for you, right now you need to take care of you, do that something that'll cheer you up, even if it's only for a little while.


----------



## CellyCell (Apr 17, 2007)

Aw, man.

I'm so sorry sweety.

I thought you two would be good from last I heard.

Hopefully, he'll change his mind soon. Don't give up!


----------



## sweetnsexy6953 (Apr 17, 2007)

Im really sorry hun. That sucks to know that he just gave up without really even tryin. Hopefully he'll see what he had and he will want you back but whos to say that you would want him back after what he did. It sucks that it had to happen but it'll work out in the end. Hopefully you guys do keep in touch and see how it goes when he gets done. We are all here for you. :hugss:


----------



## semantje (Apr 17, 2007)

thats awfull news.... i hope you'll be ok


----------



## AngelaGM (Apr 17, 2007)

You deserve a man that puts you first.. I wish you the best of luck=)


----------



## MissMissy (Apr 17, 2007)

LOve can be so sweet, but at time hurt so bad.. hang in there sweetie


----------



## pinksugar (Apr 17, 2007)

thanks girls.. I went and bought some napoleon auto primer and a lip pencil to cheer me up. I'm so lucky to be surrounded by so many people that care, and I know things will get better, and it's DEFINATELY lucky this happened now rather than later, maybe we would have had kids or whatever.

I know that this is for the best, it doesnt matter how much love I have for him, it will never work if he doesn't want to make that effort. I know this sounds dumb, but I've really matured this week, and I don't think that anything is black and white anymore - the ex isn't a bad person. He just has things which are more important to him now. And I haven't done anything wrong by wanting more from him. Before we went out I was really bitter and thought men were all bastards and jerks, but I realise now that it's not like that - Aaron didn't want to hurt me, and I can't blame him for feeling differently from me. I'm glad that I feel less bitter towards guys, and I think that that's something good that he's done for me.


----------



## AngelaGM (Apr 17, 2007)

I am so proud of your mature outlook=)


----------



## Karen_B (Apr 17, 2007)

I'm so sorry this happened. But you will feel better and then you'll meet someone who is better for you  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />


----------



## chocobon (Apr 17, 2007)

Oh I'm so sorry sweetie but it's all for the best and I'm sure there's alot of great stuff instore for u as u go on and u'll make it out of this a stronger person and u'll find ur perfect half eventually!

Just be strong!!


----------



## Sarah84 (Apr 17, 2007)

aww im sorry to hear that


----------



## Andi (Apr 17, 2007)

Wow, I have a lot of respect for you for being so mature about this. IÂ´m dead serious!!!! ItÂ´s awesome that you can see things the way they are and be so realistic about the reasons for the breakup.


----------



## SierraWren (Apr 17, 2007)

I agree completely: I really admire you so much! I can forsee nothing but the best for you, with an attitude/outlook like your's... and remember we are here whenever you need us... :flowers:


----------



## MissMudPie (Apr 17, 2007)

:iagree:

You're handling this so well. I admire how much you were willing to work to put your relationship first, and it's too bad that he wasn't willing to do the same.


----------



## pinksugar (Apr 18, 2007)

thanks girls. I still feel sad and everything, and I still have those irrational moments, and I STILL want to throw all his stuff out on the porch, but I'm keepin em down, LOL. I know that they're just feelings, and they'll have to pass eventually. (hopefully!)

time may heal all wounds but it'd be great to have a fastforward button!

Plus I've got a great network of wonderful people that make me feel better every day. That's you guys! thanks so much  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />


----------



## MindySue (Apr 18, 2007)

im sorry to hear


----------



## Zoey (Apr 18, 2007)

ugh,this sucks! But you are really awesome with how you look at things.

I hope it stops hurting soon *hugs*


----------



## ewunia2 (Apr 20, 2007)

very sad hugs


----------



## CubNan (Apr 20, 2007)

Hi PinkSugar! Sorry to hear this. I'm throwing in my 2 cents. Please understand I am in no way judging you or him. I don't believe in it and I know you 2 have been having some trouble lately. You're being too hard on you and yes, too hard on him. How old is this fellow? I'm assuming you're in your late teens or early 20's......You each need to look out for whats good for each of you. If holding down a job AND trying to go to school, in order to better himself for the future-how can you blame him? How can one say that you're better for him than going to a university for school. I also understand that you were willing to try to negotiate time with him. Sounds like you're just in different places about what's important to you. Personally, I need a man that is around. None of this long distance stuff for me, however I believe at the age of 46, I have now found my soul mate. If he needed to move for a job, I'd go with him. No matter what!! He says he won't look for another job, outside the area, because he doesn't want to up-root me. I say, go where the job is.

It sounds like he's a man who needs to prepare for the future and good for him. Man are that way. We, girls, want to center on family.

Things may still work out. If it's meant to be, you'll find a way.

Hang in there. Breaking-up is soooo hard, no matter the reason. Lift your head up high!! You're a beautiful woman!! If finding a mate and starting a family is important to you....go for it, but don't be too anxious. Do it for the right reasons and with the right man.

Sorry, this was a lot longer than I meant it to be....

Loads of Chicago hugs and let us know how you're doing.

Nan


----------



## melyxo (Apr 21, 2007)

I also was in a similiar situation to you! And now we are married. I believe that it comes down to god's timing... but that is just me  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />

It will stop hurting darl....


----------



## Princess6828 (Apr 21, 2007)

I'm sorry you're feeling this way and that things have ended between the two of you. I know how you feel - Nick always puts college ahead of me, but then I have to step back and realize that he's doing something that is ultimately going to benefit both of our futures, and I shouldn't be selfish and try to detract from that. School is very important, and in the long run would probably make both of you happier, knowing that he'll be successful in life.


----------



## pinksugar (Apr 21, 2007)

I agree that school is important, and I would never expect him to drop out of uni, I would be horrified and disappointed in him if he did, but I do think that you need a balance in life, and I manage to handle a part time job, a double degree AND a social life, with my uni friends, old high school friends AND my boyfriend.

I guess what I'm saying is that in no way do I blame him for wanting to do well in school, get an education and do well for himself in life, HOWEVER, he has no balance in his life. He rarely talks to his old school friends, he WAS doing sports but has had to stop since he's at work when the group trains. He is solely living and breathing this uni degree, and his job. I think it's unhealthy, I think it's dangerous and I think that if he doesn't get himself together and balance his workload he will end up burning out and dropping out of the course altogether.

From what I've seen of his recent behaviour, I think that he is already freaking out because he's not coping with the work load. However, you have to let people do things the way that they see best, and especially since we're not together anymore, all I can do is be supportive from a distance  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />


----------



## yumemiru (Apr 23, 2007)

I'm so sorry about that hon... but I think you should give it a break and if it's meant to me, you will meet again, if not, then he's not the one for you cause he ain't good enough anyway! At least it was before marriage when you realize it. Cheer up.. LOL i do the same, shop, when I'm sad/mad ..hehe...


----------



## CubNan (Apr 23, 2007)

You may see him coming back to you for stability, very soon.....Good Luck with everything!!


----------



## adrianavanessa (Sep 14, 2007)

I know how you feel. When my ex and I broke up, I was devastated. After the initial shock, I literally threw up. I was like, I'm never going to get over this. There will come a day when you don't even think about it anymore.


----------



## kaylin_marie (Sep 14, 2007)

I'm so sorry babe! I wish you lived right down the street so I could like go rent all the episodes of like sex and the city or something and eat ice cream with you and go shopping to cheer you up, lol!!!

I know it has to be really really tough for you, but you seem so strong and level headed and I know you're going to get through it really well. And who knows maybe one day the two of you will find each other again.

You reminded me so much of myself when you said "I was prepared to see him less, to organise our time better, because for me, to be in a relationship with the one you love more than anyone is the most important thing - even if it's tough going some of the time. I guess for him, you throw the relationship away if it's not perfect."

I'm like that too, being in love is like the most important precious thing ever to me. I know how it feels to be willing to do anything to make it work and feel like the other person isn't strong enough and just seems to give up. Just know that you deserve to be loved as much as you love. And maybe he is capable of doing it one day, but just needs some time. If not, someone will. You don't deserve to be put on the back burner to be paid attention whenever he doesn't have anything else to do. You deserve to be a priority, because I know he was your priority.

Much love and hugs, and you know you can talk to me if you need to.


----------



## Ashley (Sep 14, 2007)

That's really nice of you kaylin, but this thread is kinda old. I think they're dating again.  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />


----------

