# Dating Someone New, Advice Please!



## love2482 (Oct 20, 2008)

I was engaged to be married, but a few months ago broke up with my fiance. It was a bad relationship and I am happy to be out of it now, but at the time I needed a rebound to help get me back on my feet. Well, a friend of mine had also recently broken up with his long-time girlfriend ( like 6 years together), and we started to "hang out". Of course being newly out of an engagement, I don't want to jump into something new, and he felt the same, so it worked out nicely. It was great to have someone to keep my mind off of my ex, but then I found myself actually liking him. We have become to really close and really enjoy each others company.

For the first couple of weeks in October, I was going to be in France, and expected that he would probably get back with his girlfriend or something while I was gone.

So although I like him very much, I was ready for him to drop that bomb on me when I got back. When I returned, he made it a point to let me know that he was with no one else while I was gone, and to my suprise did not get back together with his ex.

So, things are starting to move in "relationship" direction with us, and I'm unsure if that is really what I want. I really, REALLY like him, but I have a personal problem with dating someone who just got out of a 6 year relationship. It seems like a little too much baggage for me. But then again, who am I talk to talk? I just broke off an engagement! I can however honestly say that I do no love my ex anymore and have no desire to be with him.

If you were in my situation, would you feel comfortable being with someone who just got out of that type of relationship? Am I being hypocritical for not wanting to date him for that sole reason??

Honest opinions please!


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## Dragonfly (Oct 20, 2008)

I always advocate NOT getting involved with anyone that has just left a relationship - wait until they have been single at least 6 months before you get serious with them.

But having said that, you can still hang out with him and do some fun activities.


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## pinksugar (Oct 21, 2008)

It is hypocritical bearing in mind your situation, BUT! I would feel exactly the same as you.

I would just take it really slow and see where it goes. No need to rush into anything! I hope it all goes well though! it sounds like you're in a good place at least! good luck!


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## love2482 (Oct 21, 2008)

Originally Posted by *pinksugar* /img/forum/go_quote.gif It is hypocritical bearing in mind your situation, BUT! I would feel exactly the same as you.
I would just take it really slow and see where it goes. No need to rush into anything! I hope it all goes well though! it sounds like you're in a good place at least! good luck!

Very true! No need to rush, huh?

Originally Posted by *Dragonfly* /img/forum/go_quote.gif I always advocate NOT getting involved with anyone that has just left a relationship - wait until they have been single at least 6 months before you get serious with them.
But having said that, you can still hang out with him and do some fun activities.

That's a good point. 6 months is a good time period.


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## reesesilverstar (Oct 21, 2008)

Well my best friend (now boyfriend) was in a 4 yr relationship from hell... And I was battling with a conceited somebody...

So anyhoo, they broke up last yr, but I made a POINT not to get involved, but I mean since they broke up, we got SOOOO much closer. And now I'm set on marrying this guy, lol! I mean, I was kinda in a relationship of sorts for 2 years prior too...

So I advocate waiting... 6 months is good. Just to make sure that it's real and not a rebound thing...


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## -Chelsey- (Oct 21, 2008)

I think it's fine for you guys to start 'dating' I'd just take it really slow just to make sure that it isn't just a rebound sort of thing.


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## S. Lisa Smith (Oct 22, 2008)

I agree with all of the above. He likes you, you like him. If you keep it slow and see how it develops no one should get hurt. Friends is good and it might get to the next stage...have fun!!


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