# Why did he pull away?



## Deareux (Apr 2, 2014)

So, I started dating this new guy after a while of not being interested in dating. And everything seemed to go well. We had a wonderful time going out and staying in. He was affectionate and sweet and so was I.

But then, during our most recent date, he suddenly becomes distant. He wasn't as affectionate as he was before, nor does he talk or text me back like he used to. He used to send me a text every morning and then another one later that day to see how I was. But now, nothing.

I'm not sure what to make of this. If he wasn't interested, why were the first few dates so great as well as the chemistry. And if he suddenly lost interest, why would he still make plans with me the next time he's in town. I've tried to ask him what's wrong and he won't say.

I'm fairly straight forward, when I don't want anything romantically I'll make it very clear. I don't play any games and I don't like being toyed around.

Has anyone else have this happen? Why did it?

I'm so confused.


----------



## saycrackagain (Apr 2, 2014)

It's happened to me and I've seen it happen to others. Internet forums are full of situations like this. Honestly, there could be any reason why he is distracted or distant. But the point is that you don't deserve to be confused and pulled around like that. His ultimate reason for it might mean that he's not deliberately being a jerk, but that still doesn't mean you have to put up with it. I would tell him upfront (not in an email) exactly what you said above: that you don't play games and don't want to take them. Don't let him or anyone else guilt you into thinking you have to put up with it somehow. You can be understanding without letting yourself get hurt in the process.


----------



## Deareux (Apr 2, 2014)

Thank you for your advice. I've googled the @&amp;^&amp; out of this topic and everyone does say something different, although they often share a similar theme. As of right now, I'm just going to leave him alone. Perhaps he just needs some personal time, whatever. But I'm not going to wait around for him to decide what he wants.

It's a shame though, with the exception of this single event, he's an amazing guy. Which makes me even more confused.


----------



## saycrackagain (Apr 2, 2014)

That's very common, and it makes it hard for people to accept the big hurtful flaw even more. That's why some people don't believe the victim in abusive relationships (not saying this guy is abusive), because they can't imagine that the person would have this bad streak. They want to justify the actions somehow so they give way more benefit of the doubt than is called for and basically refuse to believe the person can be doing something bad, because everything else about them seems so cool and loving. It actually makes new relationships and friends scarier to me, because someone could seem so wonderful and loving and giving on the outside, but then you find out the hard way that their flaw is too hurtful to be okay with. And then no one believes you. Be happy you're noticing a red flag so soon and get away from it.


----------



## Barbie1 (Aug 15, 2014)

Deareux said:


> So, I started dating this new guy after a while of not being interested in dating. And everything seemed to go well. We had a wonderful time going out and staying in. He was affectionate and sweet and so was I.
> 
> But then, during our most recent date, he suddenly becomes distant. He wasn't as affectionate as he was before, nor does he talk or text me back like he used to. He used to send me a text every morning and then another one later that day to see how I was. But now, nothing.
> 
> ...


My one friend recently had a similar situation happen to her she would go out with this one guy for years and apparently he always knew that she liked him but he never told her that he didnt like her he just kept hanging out with her and talking to her all the time for hours it made no sense to me.So apparently he brought the issue up while they were on the phone talking and hes like I dont like you / have feelings for you and she said that she liked him and how she had feelings for him but he said that he doesnt wanna date her .I felt so freaking bad for her to be crushed like that by some a -hole guy apparently he just sees her as a friend yet he always says to her that hes attracted to her and makes comments about her looks.Now she doesnt even talk to him anymore she basically told him that they cant hangout / talk anymore and last conversation they had he was like still talking about the issue with her and hes like what should I do ? his reasons for not liking her were apparently because she believes in marriage, she doesnt like to dance and she didnt hug him but they were friends so why would she be affectionate with him ? 

Like what a jerk I would of slapped him straight in his face for treating me like shit and leading me on for years full knowing that she had feelings for him he still chose to go out with her and talk to her nonstop so ridiculous but like this story some guys are a-holes plus they are afraid of commitment/ having a relationship.


----------

