# Was i overreacting?



## LilDee (Jul 26, 2006)

last night my boyfriend brought his buddy over and i made dinner and we hung out... but the 2 of them drank way too much.. and so his friend was totally drunk..

Then he wanted to drive home, and he was determined to do so.. so i grabbed his keys from his hand and hid them. He kept on complaining to me, all drunk that he thought it was ridiculous that i hid the keys.. but i just didn't feel comfortable letting him out of the house until he was sober, weekday or not!

So a little later my boyfriend asked where the keys were and i told him, trusting him not to grab them.. and sure enough he put them on the counter thinking his friend was a little more sober!

And what do you know, friend sees them and walks out.. we tried to keep him in, but being all intoxicated, he was determined to drive home right away..

So i freaked out at my boyfriend for letting him leave like that, and his answer was "he's a big boy, he's done it before, i'm sure he'll take care of himself




"

So i know he's like 29 and i'm not his mom, but i was totally concerned and got super upset when he went! I couldn't sleep either because my boyfriend couldn't get ahold of him on the phone.. (he said he was probably passed out at home)

was i over reacting??


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## pinkbundles (Jul 26, 2006)

Originally Posted by *LilDee* last night my boyfriend brought his buddy over and i made dinner and we hung out... but the 2 of them drank way too much.. and so his friend was totally drunk..Then he wanted to drive home, and he was determined to do so.. so i grabbed his keys from his hand and hid them. He kept on complaining to me, all drunk that he thought it was ridiculous that i hid the keys.. but i just didn't feel comfortable letting him out of the house until he was sober, weekday or not!

So a little later my boyfriend asked where the keys were and i told him, trusting him not to grab them.. and sure enough he put them on the counter thinking his friend was a little more sober!

And what do you know, friend sees them and walks out.. we tried to keep him in, but being all intoxicated, he was determined to drive home right away..

So i freaked out at my boyfriend for letting him leave like that, and his answer was "he's a big boy, he's done it before, i'm sure he'll take care of himself



"

So i know he's like 29 and i'm not his mom, but i was totally concerned and got super upset when he went! I couldn't sleep either because my boyfriend couldn't get ahold of him on the phone.. (he said he was probably passed out at home)

was i over reacting??

not at all! but you did your best and he made his decision to drive anyway. hopefully, he got home safe.


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## Gwendela (Jul 26, 2006)

I don't think you were. I don't know why but alcohol + men = the superman complex where they think they are invincible.





I'm against drunk driving 100%. I mean if they are stupid enough to endanger themselves that's bad but they fail to realize the other people they are putting into danger. We came up on a head on collision involving a drunk driver years ago. Let's just say that definitely left a lasting impact on me.


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## LilDee (Jul 26, 2006)

Wow, Gwena! I hope you were all okay!

Thanks girls





I know the guys weren't themselves last night, but they were kinda acting as if i was crazy or something.. so i just needed that little bit of reassuring


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## Jennifer (Jul 26, 2006)

not at all. no offense, but i don't feel bad for your boyfriend's friend, nor am i worried about him, but i'm worried about the people on the road with him. i have no tolerance for drunk driving. my dad used to drive drunk ALL the time and i prayed that no one would get hurt and to this day, i don't even know if anyone was hurt. for all i cared, my dad could've driven off a cliff because he made the stupid decision to get drunk when he KNEW he would be driving.

sorry if that sounds *****y and i don't mean to offend you or you take it the wrong way, but drunk driving rubs me the wrong way totally.


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## LVA (Jul 26, 2006)

nooo .. not @ all , i would have done the same in your situation/or offer to drive him home


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## Andi (Jul 26, 2006)

Originally Posted by *oobladi* I don't think you were. I don't know why but alcohol + men = the superman complex where they think they are invincible.




I'm against drunk driving 100%. I mean if they are stupid enough to endanger themselves that's bad but they fail to realize the other people they are putting into danger. We came up on a head on collision involving a drunk driver years ago. Let's just say that definitely left a lasting impact on me.

I agree 100%!!!!!!my bf gave me a similar line "be my gf, not my mother" when I told him he shouldnÂ´t drink. but that was AFTER he already got drunk and felt more horrible than ever (shortly after he was diagnosed with diabetes). youÂ´d think they can admit they made a mistake.

You didnÂ´t overreact at all, I would have done the exact same thing. Drunk driving is dangerous. I guess most times us females will always be the more responsible ones!!!


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## Andi (Jul 26, 2006)

Originally Posted by *Jennifer* not at all. no offense, but i don't feel bad for your boyfriend's friend, nor am i worried about him, but i'm worried about the people on the road with him. i have no tolerance for drunk driving. my dad used to drive drunk ALL the time and i prayed that no one would get hurt and to this day, i don't even know if anyone was hurt. for all i cared, my dad could've driven off a cliff because he made the stupid decision to get drunk when he KNEW he would be driving.
sorry if that sounds *****y and i don't mean to offend you or you take it the wrong way, but drunk driving rubs me the wrong way totally.

I couldnÂ´t agree more. I get pissed off when people get caught driving drunk, get their licence taken away for a certain time and complain about the police not having better things to do. better things like what? stopping drunk drivers saves life. the punishment for drunk driving should be way more strict than they are!!!


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## Gwendela (Jul 26, 2006)

Originally Posted by *LilDee* Wow, Gwena! I hope you were all okay!Thanks girls





I know the guys weren't themselves last night, but they were kinda acting as if i was crazy or something.. so i just needed that little bit of reassuring





I didn't word my post very clearly, I'm sorry. We came up on the accident after it happened. The ambulance and all were there. Thankfully we weren't leaving town about 20 minutes earlier. I was preggo at the time and my Mom says that's why Topanga has a birthmark, from seeing the aftermath of something so traumatic.


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## LilDee (Jul 26, 2006)

Update:

Buddy just finally got the chance to call my man's cell, so he called me from work right away to let me know...

you know how sometimes you get a bad feeling about things and you can't sleep coz your stressing out....

well.. apparently he was passing out on his way home and drove straight and hard into a ditch... his brand new truck is wrecked.. and he has a few broken ribs...

I know it was his own dumb fault, and i know it could've been worse, but i still feel horrible!!





now i'm constantly thinking, what more i could've done to stop him..


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## Aquilah (Jul 26, 2006)

Nope, you're not overreacting, and you want to know why? I can give you two reasons:

(1) Back in 1999 my mom thought it would be a good idea to go to work (she delivered newspapers at the time) drunk... With my two sisters in the car with her! Yeah! DUMB! So, drunker than a skunk I'm sure (I didn't live at home then), she goes to work... Gets caught on a customers mailbox... What do they do when she asks them to call a tow truck? They called the cops! Good for them too! My mom ended up getting a good whippin' through the courts, and I ended up with custody of my sisters for about 6 months... Mind you, I was only 19 with a one year old myself!

(2) About a month ago John's best friend thought it would be a good idea to go flying down the street... DRUNK! Took a slight turn at about 100mph, and flipped himself right into a ditch! He's lucky he survived without anything being broken, because his car was totalled! He left the scene of the accident (his friend was following him when it happened). He's now facing $7000 in fines and 5 tickets!

So, there's two good reason I say you're NOT overreacting! Not to mention, should something have happened, Lord knows if he wouldn't have done extreme harm to himself or someone else! I think you had every right to act the way you did! You were acting in HIS best interest, not your own.


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## Gwendela (Jul 26, 2006)

Originally Posted by *LilDee* Update:
Buddy just finally got the chance to call my man's cell, so he called me from work right away to let me know...

you know how sometimes you get a bad feeling about things and you can't sleep coz your stressing out....

well.. apparently he was passing out on his way home and drove straight and hard into a ditch... his brand new truck is wrecked.. and he has a few broken ribs...

I know it was his own dumb fault, and i know it could've been worse, but i still feel horrible!!





now i'm constantly thinking, what more i could've done to stop him..

Baby you did not make him drink and you did all you could to stop him. Do not beat yourself up over this. Maybe talk to him in a non-judgemental way and let him know that he is your friend and you care about him and don't want him risking life and limb again.

Originally Posted by *Aquilah* Nope, you're not overreacting, and you want to know why? I can give you two reasons:
(1) Back in 1999 my mom thought it would be a good idea to go to work (she delivered newspapers at the time) drunk... With my two sisters in the car with her! Yeah! DUMB! So, drunker than a skunk I'm sure (I didn't live at home then), she goes to work... Gets caught on a customers mailbox... What do they do when she asks them to call a tow truck? They called the cops! Good for them too! My mom ended up getting a good whippin' through the courts, and I ended up with custody of my sisters for about 6 months... Mind you, I was only 19 with a one year old myself!

(2) About a month ago John's best friend thought it would be a good idea to go flying down the street... DRUNK! Took a slight turn at about 100mph, and flipped himself right into a ditch! He's lucky he survived without anything being broken, because his car was totalled! He left the scene of the accident (his friend was following him when it happened). He's now facing $7000 in fines and 5 tickets!

So, there's two good reason I say you're NOT overreacting! Not to mention, should something have happened, Lord knows if he wouldn't have done extreme harm to himself or someone else! I think you had every right to act the way you did! You were acting in HIS best interest, not your own.

A few years ago some kids around here went boozing and cruising, got stuck in a corn field and called a tow truck. Needless to say the tow truck driver called the cops too. 
We used to live out in the country and my husband was out bow hunting for deer. He was out with his friend before dawn getting into their spots and they heard laughing. These people were extremely intoxicated in a jeep cherokee in a field stuck up to the axels in mud. The farmer that owned that field always charged people to pull them out with his tractor. I think he made a lot of money doing that over the years.


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## Midgard (Jul 26, 2006)

No, definitely not. And it's not like: he's a big boy and can take care of himself. When he has an accident and another one is harmed because of someone drunk! You know the pic with the girl, she was so beautiful and then she had an accident with a drunk and her whole face is burnt? He should look at this! This is not grown-up, this is irresponsible. You are the grown-up to try to make him not drive drunk!


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## ivette (Jul 26, 2006)

you did the right thing. unfortuantly, sometimes people have to learn the hard way.


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## WhitneyF (Jul 26, 2006)

You absolutely did not overreact. You shouldn't have to question yourself for doing the right thing. I commend you for sticking to your guns because it obviously wasn't easy.


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## LilDee (Jul 26, 2006)

thank you all of you! you always have a way of making me feel better!

we're going to visit him tonight when my boyfriend gets off work


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## Annia (Jul 27, 2006)

I think you were doing the right thing.


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## Nox (Jul 27, 2006)

Dee, you did not overreact at all. Now, because he decided to be macho man, he will have to live those scars for life as a reminder of the stupid preventable mistake he made. I hope that scared him straight. Good for you for trying all that you could.


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## jessica9 (Jul 27, 2006)

you reacted the way everyone SHOULD react! i saw someone drunk driving in the middle of a two lane hilly road after midnight one night. that person must have thought they were doing a fine job! that is how warped a person's perception can be when they are drinking and driving. it is unfortunate what happened, but i hope your friend and your boyfriend learned something about driving while drunk after this...


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## Braiden (Jul 27, 2006)

Not at all! If something happened you would feel responsible so i completely understand!


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## -Liz- (Jul 27, 2006)

you did what everyone should do and you stood for what u believed in. i think they're lucky to have you! i hope i turned out ok


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## michko970 (Jul 28, 2006)

In no way where you overreacting. What about all of the other innocent lives on the road that night your b/f's idoit friend decided it was okay to drink and drive?


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## KathrynNicole (Jul 28, 2006)

My answer is no. You were not overreacting. I've been there before.


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## goddess13 (Jul 28, 2006)

Originally Posted by *Midgard* No, definitely not. And it's not like: he's a big boy and can take care of himself. When he has an accident and another one is harmed because of someone drunk! *You know the pic with the girl, she was so beautiful and then she had an accident with a drunk and her whole face is burnt? He should look at this!* This is not grown-up, this is irresponsible. You are the grown-up to try to make him not drive drunk! Do you mean this person ---&gt; http://www.helpjacqui.com/
*LilDee*, try not to stress too much, you did your best. It's not your fault. You shouldn't blame yourself. No I don't think you were overreacting.


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## Midgard (Jul 28, 2006)

Originally Posted by *goddess13* Do you mean this person ---&gt; http://www.helpjacqui.com/ Yes, this was the girl! Thank you for the link! She is so brave!


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## mandy_ (Jul 28, 2006)

Not at all. Drinking and driving is bad. You did the right thing, that was really stupid of your boyfriend to give him the keys like that!


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## fickledpink (Jul 28, 2006)

Not at all! I think you did the right thing.


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## goddess13 (Jul 29, 2006)

Originally Posted by *Midgard* She is so brave! I totally agree!


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## kittii (Jul 29, 2006)

You werent over re-acting infact you did what you could its so sad that people do this. 5 of my friends just died like 3 days ago because of drinking in driving they were all in the same car there was actually 7 of them 3 20 y/o guys a 14 y/o girl a 16 y/o girl and a 17 y/o that was 6 months pregnant. I still dont understand why they all risked their lives and i wish that someone would have stopped them but we cant put blame on anyone. im sorry your b/fs friend didnt listen to you hopefully next time he will if there even will be a next time.


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## LilDee (Jul 30, 2006)

Originally Posted by *kittii* You werent over re-acting infact you did what you could its so sad that people do this. 5 of my friends just died like 3 days ago because of drinking in driving they were all in the same car there was actually 7 of them 3 20 y/o guys a 14 y/o girl a 16 y/o girl and a 17 y/o that was 6 months pregnant. I still dont understand why they all risked their lives and i wish that someone would have stopped them but we cant put blame on anyone. im sorry your b/fs friend didnt listen to you hopefully next time he will if there even will be a next time. oh sweety i'm so sorry that happened!


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