# I feel like an idiot - Work crush



## MsCuppyCakes (Dec 24, 2007)

Hello everyone. Without going into too much detail. I had a little crush on a guy at work. He came by my desk 3x daily sometimes more. My co-worker knew about my crush, yes I told her. I _casually _asked him to lunch. The following week he didn't come by our office and the week after that he came by on Friday and did speak but it was weird.

Now I feel like an idiot, you know, the only one that doesn't know what everyone else knows. All I can say is, from this experience, if you have a work crush, keep it to yourself. My co-worker and this guy have known each other for years. I have strong feelings something was said to him. I've asked her twice and she has denied it. She actually encouraged me to ask him to lunch. Anyhoo, that's my lovely, now awkward situation at work.


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## S. Lisa Smith (Dec 24, 2007)

Things will work out. Just pretend it never happened and it will be forgotten in a few weeks. It's usually a good policy not to get involved with someone at work. You are lucky, it sounds like you don't work directly around him. It will blow over.


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## MsCuppyCakes (Dec 24, 2007)

Thanks.


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## justdragmedown (Dec 24, 2007)

I agree pretending it didnt happen is the best thing to do.


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## KellyB (Dec 25, 2007)

Aww. I'm sorry. She's a rat if she told him. You know who not to trust at least. I learned about this the hard way also and did the same thing you did by sharing it with one person who of course swore to keep her mouth shut. She didn't and it was awkward. At any rate, I would also just pretend nothing is wrong. Continue to act exactly the way you always have and if nothing becomes of it, it will at least pass soon.


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## farris2 (Dec 25, 2007)

Originally Posted by *S. Lisa Smith* /img/forum/go_quote.gif Things will work out. Just pretend it never happened and it will be forgotten in a few weeks. It's usually a good policy not to get involved with someone at work. You are lucky, it sounds like you don't work directly around him. It will blow over. I agree. If he asks,just look at him like he has 3 heads and say you have no idea what all the fuss is about.


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## colormeup (Dec 25, 2007)

You only involve romantic interests at work if you want to be the topic of gossip. Be involved in mind games when the romance ends, or have no desire to move up in the company.

It's just a bad idea no matter how much you like the person. It's also bad form to tell others who you like or think is cute at work. No pun but, it never works out.

If you feel you MUST see this person, it's best to change jobs.

I've been asked out at work before and I always declined declined and declined. Never regretted it.


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## Anthea (Dec 26, 2007)

Trust no one but yourself to keep their mouth shut, some good advise above.


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## MsCuppyCakes (Dec 26, 2007)

Thank you everyone.


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## joybelle (Dec 26, 2007)

This to shall pass.


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## Ricci (Dec 26, 2007)

Stupid people cant keep stuff to themselves ... they all love a lil drama,anything to please themselves. I hope it works out for you


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## MsCuppyCakes (Dec 26, 2007)

Thanks everyone. I'm doing my best to not think about it. I'll definitely keep my thoughts to myself going forward. It just sucks because I asked her not to say anything ~ now I feel like I have the plague.


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## _withoutYou (Dec 26, 2007)

Girl, try not to stress it. As they say "This too shall pass". That's how life usually goes. And most important, now you know who not to trust in a workplace. Personally, in work place I keep things to myself.


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## fawp (Dec 26, 2007)

I'm going to go a different route here: I agree office romances can be messy, HOWEVER, good for you for going after what you want. The guy came by your desk three times a day to talk to you; even if he wasn't interested in dating, he was obviously interested in flirting with you. So, you threw out a casual lunch invitation which he decided to decline for whatever reasons. At least you made a move and won't ever have to wonder "what could have happened." Trust me, it could have been a lot worse.


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## MsCuppyCakes (Dec 26, 2007)

Thanks. Yes, this was a big step for me. I like talking to him and I thought he liked talking to me as well (his daily visits). You hear people say, "Try it!, Ask him", or whatever. Honestly, it makes it very difficult for me to do again. Thanks for your opinion.

Originally Posted by *Faith-Abigail* /img/forum/go_quote.gif I'm going to go a different route here: I agree office romances can be messy, HOWEVER, good for you for going after what you want. The guy came by your desk three times a day to talk to you; even if he wasn't interested in dating, he was obviously interested in flirting with you. So, you threw out a casual lunch invitation which he decided to decline for whatever reasons. At least you made a move and won't ever have to wonder "what could have happened." Trust me, it could have been a lot worse.


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## Ashley (Dec 26, 2007)

I agree with Faith Abigail. No harm was done, and at least you asked. I don't think you should feel like an idiot at all. Just see it as asking any other coworker out for a casual lunch.


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## earthtonez (Dec 27, 2007)

Originally Posted by *Faith-Abigail* /img/forum/go_quote.gif I'm going to go a different route here: I agree office romances can be messy, HOWEVER, good for you for going after what you want. The guy came by your desk three times a day to talk to you; even if he wasn't interested in dating, he was obviously interested in flirting with you. So, you threw out a casual lunch invitation which he decided to decline for whatever reasons. At least you made a move and won't ever have to wonder "what could have happened." Trust me, it could have been a lot worse. I agree. I was in a similar situation and it's better to go after what you want and not wonder what if. I was crushed a lil bit after I received the brush off the day after we went out to lunch together but dag I got over that and I do not regret it one bit. Things happen and just because one does not realize how fab you are, its not the end of the world hun. Cheer up. You will feel better in time to come. Trust me.


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## fawp (Dec 27, 2007)

Exactly! Regret not what you HAVE done but what you have NOT done.


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## Sirvinya (Dec 28, 2007)

I must admit to offering biased advice since I had a work crush. We're actually living together now and are planning on getting married so these things can work out.

Can you email him? Just to say hi or something.


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## MsCuppyCakes (Dec 28, 2007)

Originally Posted by *Sirvinya* /img/forum/go_quote.gif I must admit to offering biased advice since I had a work crush. We're actually living together now and are planning on getting married so these things can work out.
Can you email him? Just to say hi or something.

I could but I won't. I saw him yesterday and the once friendly person that use to talked to me didn't even acknowledge me.


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## dixiewolf (Dec 28, 2007)

He probably just doesnt know how to act, he isnt interested so he is ignoring you, which is stupid. She might not have told him. I dont think you did anything stupid, I asked out someone at work before and we dated a year, I would have regretted not knowing. I would think he will get over it and act normal again. All you did was ask him to lunch, you didnt get drunk and profess your love to him, lol. Men.


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## han (Dec 28, 2007)

i agree with dixiewolf, even though your situation turned out the way it did you shouldnt feel bad or be to hard on yourself, the way i see it is if you want something/someone go for it and if it dont work out at least you tried.


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## MsCuppyCakes (Dec 28, 2007)

Originally Posted by *dixiewolf* /img/forum/go_quote.gif He probably just doesnt know how to act, he isnt interested so he is ignoring you, which is stupid. She might not have told him. I dont think you did anything stupid, I asked out someone at work before and we dated a year, I would have regretted not knowing. I would think he will get over it and act normal again. All you did was ask him to lunch, you didnt get drunk and profess your love to him, lol. Men. Exactly. It's really stupid. But for me, rather shy, this was a big step. I'm angry at myself for letting my guard down. I trust people way too soon. I should have never opened my mouth. Sometimes I like be able to be silly and girly and unfortunately it bit me in the ass, I say that meaning, just saying silly things about him because it would never get back to him. I'm so embarassed




!


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## CuTeLiCiOuS (Dec 29, 2007)

Well atleast you won't have to wonder if you should or should not have asked him out. People just like to create drama, gossip, and say nasty things that are not true. Screw them and concentrate on your work. There is more strenght in silecne and you are a woman who walks with diginity. Hugs

"Who indeed can harm you if you are committed deeply to doing what is right?"

- I Peter


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## MsCuppyCakes (Jan 4, 2008)

Thank you.

Originally Posted by *CuTeLiCiOuS* /img/forum/go_quote.gif Well atleast you won't have to wonder if you should or should not have asked him out. People just like to create drama, gossip, and say nasty things that are not true. Screw them and concentrate on your work. There is more strenght in silecne and you are a woman who walks with diginity. Hugs


"Who indeed can harm you if you are committed deeply to doing what is right?"

- I Peter


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## Sheikah (Jan 7, 2008)

Originally Posted by *MsCuppyCakes* /img/forum/go_quote.gif Exactly. It's really stupid. But for me, rather shy, this was a big step. I'm angry at myself for letting my guard down. I trust people way too soon. I should have never opened my mouth. Sometimes I like be able to be silly and girly and unfortunately it bit me in the ass, I say that meaning, just saying silly things about him because it would never get back to him. I'm so embarassed



! I knoooww! I'm the same way, but this is an opportunity to learn and next time you'll know better who is worthy of your secrets. My problem is not really talking about my crushes but acting completely stupid and ridiculous around my crush. I can't help it, it's not even me lol. I guess they get the idea that I'm this dumb airhead... but oh well it happened with a guy at work and now whenever I go shop in that place (I no longer work there.) he avoids me like the plague too, it's very obvious. I'm a bit embarrassed but I won't let that make me feel bad or stupid and neither should you. Just act like your normal cool self, time passes, people forget and soon enough you will be laughing about it.


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## jessimau (Jan 15, 2008)

Originally Posted by *MsCuppyCakes* /img/forum/go_quote.gif Exactly. It's really stupid. But for me, rather shy, this was a big step. I'm angry at myself for letting my guard down. I trust people way too soon. I should have never opened my mouth. Sometimes I like be able to be silly and girly and unfortunately it bit me in the ass, I say that meaning, just saying silly things about him because it would never get back to him. I'm so embarassed



! Look at it this way: If he reacts like this to hearing some silly things you said about him repeated to him, then he's not someone who's really worth your time anyway. Now you can move on and find a much worthier crush!


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## MsCuppyCakes (Jan 22, 2008)

Originally Posted by *jessimau* /img/forum/go_quote.gif Look at it this way: If he reacts like this to hearing some silly things you said about him repeated to him, then he's not someone who's really worth your time anyway. Now you can move on and find a much worthier crush! I agree and Thank you.


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## peachface (Jan 23, 2008)

It's been a month so I hope things are ok now! I know it might be too late to give my opinion but I think it's probably better that things turned that way... I had a huge crush on my coworker for a long time and my "hard work" paid off and we dated for a while. When we broke up, it got really AWKWARD. Then he started dating someone else and I ended up moving to a different department and we only say hi when we run into each other somewhere...


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## MsCuppyCakes (Jan 23, 2008)

It's getting better. We talk now, he doesn't come by as often. Things are different between my co-worker and I. I don't talk about anything personal just work-related stuff.

Thanks again everyone.


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