# Unappreciated at work- co-worker getting promoted over me



## lint (Dec 22, 2013)

I'm a university graduate and I've been working at my current job for about 7 months now. After I graduated I had a lot of trouble finding a job. The store I worked at during school offered to let me join their assistant manager program which would take 1-3 years, but I thought that with my experience I could get hired elsewhere. I worked retail for the past five years at big chains and now I am working at a small business with two stores. I was originally under the impression that I was being hired as an assistant manager at a dance, swim and clothing store, but pretty quickly after being hired it was clear that I was not considered management in any capacity.

Since I started there, I've tried really hard to be upbeat and follow their rules, but it's been difficult. I used to work at chains, so it's hard to acclimate to working conditions where the rules change at the owner's whims and where I'm expected to know what the manager wants without being told. I've always worked in places where I've been complimented for my efficiency and creativity, but here the priorities are very different. I've been told off, for example, for making too much noise- closing the cash register too loudly, or using tape too loudly. Although I was hired as a full time employee, I was only given part time hours for 2.5 months solid because they considered me "in training" the entire time. Even now, having worked there for seven months, my training continues and I am not allowed to help customers with certain things. I get asked repeatedly to do jobs that no one else wants to do and I do them efficiently. I can't go into detail without giving away exactly where I work; they really are odd jobs. When the store had to do inventory, for example, I got the awesome job of doing it all single handedly because I'm the fastest.

When I was hired and in training I was told repeatedly that they needed an assistant manager. I have thought, like an idiot, for the past few months that I was being trained into the position, and that all the obscure jobs were to prepare me. I found out today that I am not, and that *a girl hired after me is being actively trained for the position.* 

I know this is childish, but I am absolutely livid. 

I would not have agreed to work part time for months (which I technically didn't agree to, they just did it without asking me, and treating me like an idiot when I asked questions) if I'd known I was not working towards being management. I have a great deal more experience than her. I am excellent with the customers. I do the jobs that she and others refuse to do. I even agreed to not get any time off for Christmas because this girl and several of our other staff decided to book so much time off. I've gotten offers from my old co-workers to come work with them for the holidays, and a serious offer to be a co-manager at an excellent store, and I turned it all down for this. I feel like a moron. I'm mad at myself and the owner. He gets mad when I ask questions but I should have pushed and made sure I knew exactly where I was going. 

I just feel very angry and very powerless.


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## zadidoll (Dec 22, 2013)

Time to find a new job. Sounds absolutely awful to work for people who take and take and then turns around and lies.


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## Geek (Dec 22, 2013)

Yep, been there before.  One thing to keep in mind, unfortunately, is that business is business and that seniority means nothing to businesses.  If it makes more business sense to promote someone else, even if they have been there less time, they will.  I know this isn't what you probably wanted to hear, but I've been burned before in a job where I was there 6 years and another guy(was there 3 yrs), who was a stoner and had way less DOCUMENTED efficient work was promoted over me. (we used to use efficiency reports) This was 25 years ago, but when this happened, I told them I quit OR they pay me $6/hr MORE(I think I was making like $15/hr at the time).  They agreed to my raise demands. LOL.

Director 1 - Company 0


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## MoiSurtout (Dec 22, 2013)

Go back to the people who offered you work and see if theyâ€™re still interested. Let them know youâ€™re thinking of moving on and wanted to let them know first in case they were still looking, and to let you know if anything opens up in the next few months. If they ask why, spare them the story and just say the new year has you thinking about what you want to accomplish, and you feel your management goals are a better fit there.


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## lint (Dec 22, 2013)

Thanks guys. I agree Zadidoll, I want to leave. It's disappointing that I've basically flushed 7 months of potential experience down the drain but realistically I kind of need to pack it in at this point. 

Quote:

Originally Posted by *Director* /img/forum/go_quote.gif
  Yep, been there before.  One thing to keep in mind, unfortunately, is that business is business and that seniority means nothing to businesses.  If it makes more business sense to promote someone else, even if they have been there less time, they will.  I know this isn't what you probably wanted to hear, but I've been burned before in a job where I was there 6 years and another guy(was there 3 yrs), who was a stoner and had way less DOCUMENTED efficient work was promoted over me. (we used to use efficiency reports) This was 25 years ago, but when this happened, I told them I quit OR they pay me $6/hr MORE(I think I was making like $15/hr at the time).  They agreed to my raise demands. LOL.

Director 1 - Company 0

hahaha very nice! I'm perversely glad that other people have had similar experiences and I'm glad yours worked out. Not to worry, I do understand it's a business and particularly with a small business it kind of comes down to who the owner likes. I've never worked anywhere before where there's no one to do anything and no way of making a formal complaint...I can't march up to the owner and complain that he's a bad boss.

Quote: Originally Posted by *MoiSurtout* /img/forum/go_quote.gif
  Go back to the people who offered you work and see if theyâ€™re still interested. Let them know youâ€™re thinking of moving on and wanted to let them know first in case they were still looking, and to let you know if anything opens up in the next few months. If they ask why, spare them the story and just say the new year has you thinking about what you want to accomplish, and you feel your management goals are a better fit there. 
 
Yeah I'll definitely give that a shot, that's a great idea. I feel like a bit of a jerk for turning people down and then going back to them shortly afterwards, but maybe something will open up again.


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## Geek (Dec 22, 2013)

Quote: Originally Posted by *lint* /img/forum/go_quote.gif
  
hahaha very nice! I'm perversely glad that other people have had similar experiences and I'm glad yours worked out. Not to worry, I do understand it's a business and particularly with a small business it kind of comes down to who the owner likes. I've never worked anywhere before where there's no one to do anything and no way of making a formal complaint...I can't march up to the owner and complain that he's a bad boss.

I doubt it was because who the owner likes more or less.  Usually business revolves around money and decisions.


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## Moonittude (Dec 22, 2013)

Quote: Originally Posted by *Director* /img/forum/go_quote.gif
  
 I doubt it was because who the owner likes more or less.  Usually business revolves around money and decisions. 

Usually, but not always. I've worked places where employees who were the best at sucking up, were the ones who got ahead. I've worked for bosses that looked at porn in their office while they were supposed to be working, and once a girl who was stealing and lying to customers about the products (in sales) was getting preferential from management.  To be fair, that particular girl was good at sales, but at the expense of quite a lot.

It's not childish at all to be livid, when hired on the promise of one thing, only to find yourself doing a more menial job with worse hours. That is called a classic bait and switch. I've had it happen to me, and the only remedy is to get another job. For me, I'd rather work at a larger company that has a human resources department, and a concrete code of conduct, because in my experience, they usually turn out to be less crooked with their employees. I know that isn't universal, but it has been my experience.


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## zadidoll (Dec 22, 2013)

I've had it happen to me once. I was 19 and a favorite of my store managers and of my district manager. I was promised a transfer from the store I was at to a brand new store that was, at the time, in the process of being built as a department manager. I said yes to the transfer and moved 70 miles south from my hometown. I didn't know anyone where I was moving to, I didn't have family there. I moved, helped set up the department I thought I was going to be the manager of and within weeks found out that I wasn't the department manager. I ended up staying on four more months but was lied to over and over by those store managers.

The lesson I learned from that is to get things in writing because without a written contract a verbal contract can still be backed out of since there is little if any proof.


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## lint (Dec 22, 2013)

Quote: Originally Posted by *Moonittude* /img/forum/go_quote.gif
  
Usually, but not always. I've worked places where employees who were the best at sucking up, were the ones who got ahead. I've worked for bosses that looked at porn in their office while they were supposed to be working, and once a girl who was stealing and lying to customers about the products (in sales) was getting preferential from management.  To be fair, that particular girl was good at sales, but at the expense of quite a lot.

It's not childish at all to be livid, when hired on the promise of one thing, only to find yourself doing a more menial job with worse hours. That is called a classic bait and switch. I've had it happen to me, and the only remedy is to get another job. For me, I'd rather work at a larger company that has a human resources department, and a concrete code of conduct, because in my experience, they usually turn out to be less crooked with their employees. I know that isn't universal, but it has been my experience.
That sounds like a bummer. I definitely don't think the girl being promoted in my case is a suck up or anything, but I do think the owner just likes her a lot more. This is a small business- I was hired alongside another girl and she was fired after two shifts because they just didn't like her/ "didn't think she was a good fit". 

I appreciate that you don't find it childish, and I think you're right about looking for a larger company with a concrete code of conduct and HR department. 

Quote: Originally Posted by *Director* /img/forum/go_quote.gif
  
I doubt it was because who the owner likes more or less.  Usually business revolves around money and decisions. 
Well, I see it a certain way because I know the owner is not a fan of me, haha. I was hired by the manager, not the owner himself and we just never really hit it off. I'm sure he thinks she is better for the job, but I also believe that getting along with the right people plays a role.


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