# I just told my crush I liked him...anyone fluent in man code? Im confused!



## judithf (Feb 25, 2008)

Hello! Thanks for reading this. I need an honest opinion...

I have feelings for one of my closest guy friends, and I was pretty sure he liked me too.

We flirt relentlessly, to the point where the rest of our friends think we're together or atleast should be. They say we're like an Old Married Couple, LOL! There's also A LOT of sexual innuendo.

Now a bit of info on him.

He's 41, never married and still single. Needless to say, he's jaded. He's been in love twice in his life and it has never worked out (the girl he wanted to marry, cheated on him..this was 10 yrs ago). So yea, he's damaged.

Anyway, he once called me "intimidating" refering to why it took him so long to hug me goodbye. And when he hugs me now, or puts his arm around me he does it in a way that makes me feel like he isnt sure if Im ok with it. (When there's physical contact I get really nervous and I blush..I cant help it).

One night we were drinking together and we fed eachother, we cuddled on the couch, he grabbed my butt and he called his cats "our cats"

Ok so, a few nights ago I confessed my feelings.

When I told him that I was thinking of telling him by giving him a kiss he said, "You know, I would've kissed you back. If you want you can catch me off guard one day and I'll kiss you back."

And then when we were talking about all the sexual innuendo he said, "Im just joking around, but its still serious...I mean I do think about it."

So anyway, in the end we hugged goodbye and have remained friends. I told him I just had to confess my feelings so I could move on. I dont want our friendship to change. He said he felt the same way.

What do you guys think is going on???


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## Kathy (Feb 25, 2008)

Well...hard to say. Sounds like he's confused. But, it doesn't really sound like he's ready to take it a step further either. Maybe give him some time and see what happens??


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## love2482 (Feb 25, 2008)

It sounds like he likes you to me.


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## GlossyAbby (Feb 25, 2008)

i think you confused the poor guy.... i think he wants more but he is scared.... time is the best way to tell


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## Duchess Ravenwaves (Feb 25, 2008)

It definitely sounds like he has feelings for you, but it also sounds like he cares a lot about your friendship, and doesn't want that to change. I agree with Kathy give him some time and see what happens.


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## Merecat (Feb 25, 2008)

My husband is all over me now but he was VERY respectful and VERY shy (and yes, a bit damaged). It took me kinda putting my foot down and then later kissing him first. I had to break all of the ice but it was totally worth it. It sounds like your crush is just scared to make any first moves. The first kiss will probably be a little awkward and forced, but trust me, it will help him loosen up in the long run and it's all downhill from there.


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## S. Lisa Smith (Feb 25, 2008)

I was going to suggest that you JUST KISS HIM!!!!! But I thought I should be more discrete, so just kiss him!!!

(Most of the time I'm a man, so I know how they think!) I don't know what he'll do, 'cause I don't know him, but if your friends, who know you both, think it may work...JUST KISS HIM!!!


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## puncturedskirt (Feb 25, 2008)

Yeah, He definitely sounds like he's into you. So i also agree with Kathy, Just wait and see what happens.


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## bella1342 (Feb 25, 2008)

Yep, sounds like he likes you, and if you like him, what's the problem? Sometimes you have to risk friendship, because he could turn out to be the love of your life, and you.. his.


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## Dragonfly (Feb 26, 2008)

You know he's single and has been for quite a while. I say - give him a kiss and keep up the flirting. It just may take a bit of time on his part to come around.


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## emily_3383 (Feb 26, 2008)

He sounds kind of immature. idk


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## luxotika (Feb 26, 2008)

I agree, he does sound a bit immature, but if you are into him, you should just give him a peck on the lips. Hopefully he will reciprocate. Good luck!


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## ColdDayInHell (Feb 26, 2008)

A heterosexual man who's 41 and never married raises a red flag for me for various reasons. It may be a sign that he's been so traumatised by his previous relationships that he's committment-phobic (arising from his fear of being rejected and betrayed) or it could mean he's a non-risk taker or that he's so self-absorbed in his work/hobbies/life.


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## jdepp_84 (Feb 26, 2008)

Originally Posted by *S. Lisa Smith* /img/forum/go_quote.gif I was going to suggest that you JUST KISS HIM!!!!! But I thought I should be more discrete, so just kiss him!!!(Most of the time I'm a man, so I know how they think!) I don't know what he'll do, 'cause I don't know him, but if your friends, who know you both, think it may work...JUST KISS HIM!!!

Well...I honestly dont know, cuz I ser have no idea how men think, they are either extremely complicated or not. But I agree, just go for it and kiss him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


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## shyiskrazy2 (Feb 26, 2008)

Originally Posted by *ColdDayInHell* /img/forum/go_quote.gif A heterosexual man who's 41 and never married raises a red flag for me for various reasons. It may be a sign that he's been so traumatised by his previous relationships that he's committment-phobic (arising from his fear of being rejected and betrayed) or it could mean he's a non-risk taker or that he's so self-absorbed in his work/hobbies/life.



My hubby was 40 when we got together. He always said that he didn't ever want to have kids or be married. Well,a year later, he married me and we have a beautiful son together and he says that he would never trade it for anything in the world. My point is that people are waiting longer and longer to get married (if at all). It is perfectly normal to find an older guy who hasn't married. I think that it's great because there's no ex wives or stepchildren to deal with. 
He's sounds like he really likes you and is afraid of getting hurt. All men are really scared little boys inside. I agree with the "give it some time" attitude. If it's meant to be, it WILL happen.


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## polaroidscene (Mar 1, 2008)

You told him you had to confess your feelings to move on and remain friends of course hes confused if you want him then make a moveeeeeeeeee


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## Anthea (Mar 14, 2008)

I agree with Lisa, just kiss him and see what happens, it sounds like he likes you and for what ever reason is holding back.


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## SierraMGraham (Apr 6, 2008)

I'm more inclined to agree with polaroidscene... you said you confessed your feelings to move on. He's probably unsure if you want just...ummm... a 'quick' relationship or more long term, and he may not know which he wants, so he's keeping the distance there. When you're alone, go for it. Kiss him, but be clear about where EXACTLY, you hope for it to lead to (quick or beyond). My best friend was the worlds worst about telling a guy she didn't do relationships, didn't want a relationship, then when they'd have the 'quick' part of it, she turned into the nagging housewife and they ran faster then a cheetah. Thankfully, after countless nights of comforting her, I informed her that she was sending mixed signals and she's been upfront with guys since (of course, now she gets less.... invites, but at least the ones she does get are genuine.)


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## speerrituall1 (Apr 6, 2008)

Just plant one on him and see what happens. Sounds as if he's been burned and is a little timid.


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## Darla (Apr 6, 2008)

Originally Posted by *judithf* /img/forum/go_quote.gif Hello! Thanks for reading this. I need an honest opinion... 
I have feelings for one of my closest guy friends, and I was pretty sure he liked me too.

We flirt relentlessly, to the point where the rest of our friends think we're together or atleast should be. They say we're like an Old Married Couple, LOL! There's also A LOT of sexual innuendo.

Now a bit of info on him.

He's 41, never married and still single. Needless to say, he's jaded. He's been in love twice in his life and it has never worked out (the girl he wanted to marry, cheated on him..this was 10 yrs ago). So yea, he's damaged.

Anyway, he once called me "intimidating" refering to why it took him so long to hug me goodbye. And when he hugs me now, or puts his arm around me he does it in a way that makes me feel like he isnt sure if Im ok with it. (When there's physical contact I get really nervous and I blush..I cant help it).

One night we were drinking together and we fed eachother, we cuddled on the couch, he grabbed my butt and he called his cats "our cats"

Ok so, a few nights ago I confessed my feelings.

When I told him that I was thinking of telling him by giving him a kiss he said, "You know, I would've kissed you back. If you want you can catch me off guard one day and I'll kiss you back."

And then when we were talking about all the sexual innuendo he said, "Im just joking around, but its still serious...I mean I do think about it."

So anyway, in the end we hugged goodbye and have remained friends. I told him I just had to confess my feelings so I could move on. I dont want our friendship to change. He said he felt the same way.

What do you guys think is going on???

i have an expression , no one says something that they don't mean at least a little bit. I think someone else alluded to this as well that he might be somewhat gun shy about another relationship like he's going to be hurt or something. Go with your instinct on this. just report back on how it goes.


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