# Should I Apologize?



## Chaela (Jul 14, 2007)

Okay, just to get this out I *know* that what I did was horrible and that I was a ***** to him and that I'm a complete dumbass.






So I really hurt an ex-bf by breaking up with him and then changing my mind and then changing it again and the final time I made him cry over this. What really sucks is that I really liked him but he's really smart and sometimes made me feel stupid by talking about something that I had no idea wtf he was on about and then I'd feel uncomfortable around him then I'd break up with him but then get back together cause I did like him, still do. We were back together and everything was fine until my _friends _decided that he wasn't cool enough for me to date. Well finally my _'friends' _badgered me into breaking up with a final time and I've hated myself since for giving into that.

Then I left school after we started to become sort of friends again but my leaving was very sudden and I didn't get a chance to say bye or that I was sorry for the way I treated him. It's always upset me that I never said sorry or bye, I hate how it was left.

Well I haven't seen or spoken to him in almost 4 years and I just found his myspace and he has his poetry up, which are about his failed past relationships



, and my mom thinks this is the perfect time to tell him that I'm sorry. That this is my chance to fix things, to set them right.....Except I'm sooo f-ing terrified that he'll tell me off or that he hates me.

So should I take the leap and send him a message or should I just completely forget him?


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## Aprill (Jul 14, 2007)

yeah, it couldnt hurt to apologize, just tell him that you are sorry, and at that time, you were being very impressionable, and that you were persuaded by friends to treat him that way, and that you have grown up now, and in the process of growing, you came to the realization that you were wrong, and you deeply apologize, ya know, something like that


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## empericalbeauty (Jul 14, 2007)

I am a huge romantic so automatically I think you "running" into his profile is..a sign? I definitely think you should at least voice your remorse. He will probably be angry at you but at least, you let him know how you felt.


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## pinksugar (Jul 14, 2007)

I don't think it can hurt to apologise - if he chooses to tell you off then you are not in the wrong. It may hurt if he does - but you've done the right thing by apologising. Most people recognise that it's difficult to appologise and will acknowledge your effort in having been brave enough to do it.

It will either open the door for being able to speak to him again, or it will mean that you have closed that chapter and will be able to move on - you wont eat yourself up with guilt anymore because you've attempted to make ammends.

Lol not to be harsh, but you really did sound like you acted like a jerk, but you're trying to make up for it, so as long as you learnt something out of it then that's all that matters.

Good luck with everything


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## Chaela (Jul 14, 2007)

Okay I'm going to send him a message... this could end bad





Oh believe me, jerk doesn't even cover it, lol.


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## Aprill (Jul 14, 2007)

good luck


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## Chaela (Jul 14, 2007)

I sent it





Thanks


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## pinksugar (Jul 14, 2007)

let us know what happens. All fingers and toes are crossed


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## Savvy_lover (Jul 14, 2007)

do say sorry



dont let yourself regret over it



i support you !!!!


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## Saje (Jul 14, 2007)

I am glad you took the step to apologize. If he does tell you off, its ok, it may hurt but just think about it as him letting off steam (that is if he does tell you off).

Just like how you needed to get this off of your chest, he may need to get words out of his. And perhaps from there you both can move on to better things with a greater potential of being friends.

Best of luck to ya.


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## MindySue (Jul 14, 2007)

i was a jerk to my ex. i broke it off with him cause he was too sweet lol. he wrote me poems and stuff after a few weeks and it creeped me out. i had a journal online and i made fun of him on it and talked about how i was gonna break it off cause he was annoying me. i said a lot of other mean stuff about him and when i broke up with him i just said that i wasnt wanting a relationship right now. he found it (uh stalker..) and totally knew what the real reason was and i felt like such a *****.

well i apologized. but i also apologized again a few years later, when he had moved on..and he accepted it and we talk now ocassionally, we are friends..and he has moved on so he doesnt even care about what happened in the past anymore.


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## Momo (Jul 14, 2007)

If it were me I'd go the extra step and apologize in person or even on the phone, if possible. It's more personal than a message on myspace.


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## AngelaGM (Jul 14, 2007)

Originally Posted by *Momo* /img/forum/go_quote.gif If it were me I'd go the extra step and apologize in person or even on the phone, if possible. It's more personal than a message on myspace. Great advice as usual=)


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## pinkbundles (Jul 14, 2007)

I think if you really felt an apology is necessary after all this time, then do so. But keep it short and sweet. No need to mess with his heart again.


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## Ramen-chan (Jul 14, 2007)

I wish you the best of luck with everything. It's a good thing that you actually decided to apologize.


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## missnadia (Jul 14, 2007)

I don't think that you risk ruining anything by apologizing. You'll feel better and maybe he'll feel better about your failed relationship knowing that it wasn't all his fault and that you're actually decent enough to feel sorry for the bad things you did while you were with him.... After 4 years I doubt that he would still have any residual anger from the breakup, so I don't think that he would tell you off..

For future reference though, don't go back and forth on break ups.. And don't break up with somebody before even trying to sort things out with him and giving him a chance to improve.. What's even stupider is to break up because your friends want you to.. Also, if you're going to have doubts about your own intelligence, recognize these insecurities for what they are. Don't blame the other person for knowing some things that you don't! In any case I think you should have just TALKED to him about what was bothering you, instead of being immature and throwing a fit. So yeah, do apologize. Not bashing you or anything btw, just saying that you weren't really in the right..


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## SierraWren (Jul 15, 2007)

I think you are so lucky to have a chance to go back--and potentially forward--like this and to make amends. I think most people only dream of being able to apologize to someone they hurt in the past and then lost touch with--I know I have!--but just never have had the chance. You HAVE that chance, and I'm so glad you took it and reached out to him. Way to go! Please(if you want) let us know what happens from here--I'm wishing for the very, very best!


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## Aquilah (Jul 15, 2007)

Best of luck with it! Please definitely let us know what happens!


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## StrangerNMist (Jul 15, 2007)

No better time to apologize than the present. No one here can tell you how he'll react, but I'm pretty sure that on some level he'll appreciate it; and doing so may give you some closure for the both of you.

So go for it! Why not?


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## mayyami (Jul 15, 2007)

I mean, if I was the guy, it'll be nice to hear a "sorry" and perhaps explanation. It sure is a long time ago, but sometimes it's nice to know that everything isn't as shitty as you thought.


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## CellyCell (Jul 15, 2007)

Originally Posted by *MindySue* /img/forum/go_quote.gif i was a jerk to my ex. i broke it off with him cause he was too sweet lol. he wrote me poems and stuff after a few weeks and it creeped me out. i had a journal online and i made fun of him on it and talked about how i was gonna break it off cause he was annoying me. i said a lot of other mean stuff about him and when i broke up with him i just said that i wasnt wanting a relationship right now. he found it (uh stalker..) and totally knew what the real reason was and i felt like such a *****.
well i apologized. but i also apologized again a few years later, when he had moved on..and he accepted it and we talk now ocassionally, we are friends..and he has moved on so he doesnt even care about what happened in the past anymore.

Haha - that made me laugh. You're cruel.

I say appologize... it's been 4 years now. I'm sure forgiveness is within him.


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## SqueeKee (Jul 23, 2007)

I say apologize






It's very very hard to be mad at someone who says they're sorry and means it, and it seems to me that you are very genuine.

Let us know how everything turns out!!


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## dixiewolf (Jul 23, 2007)

I was with someone who really hurt me, and somehow he found my email, and instant messaged me and apologized. This was years ago, and he said he was sorry for acting like such a jerk to such a sweet girl. And you know, while I wouldnt have wanted him back, it made me feel better, b/c I always wondered why he did it. I had avoided going places he was b/c I was embarrased (rather not say what happened to make me feel that way) and then I was fine if I saw him, although I never have again. I stopped hating him. I had another one apologize years later, but I felt like he only said it to get me back so it was useless, lol.


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## Chaela (Jul 23, 2007)

Well I got a reply a couple of days later that just asked what I had been up to and thanks for the props on the poetry, no mention of the apology and thats really it. But I feel better


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## SqueeKee (Jul 23, 2007)

Yay! I'm glad things went well!


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