# Raped



## marshall1704 (Aug 7, 2006)

Life growing up in Alabama for me was very happy most of the time and sometimes sad. I was picked on in school a lot because of the shape of my nose. I was called flat nose and pig nose. To this day it still hurts and I hate my nose. I am the second oldest of three brothers. I lived a very happy go lucky christian life. Whenever the doors were open of the church me, my mom. and three brothers were sure to be in there. Everyone thought we had this great picture perfect family. Literally we didn't. My dad cheated on my mom for years and years. I have actually just found out about that now. I made a pack to myself that I was going to stay a virgin till marriage. I kept that pack till my junior year.I was 17 years old. I had decided to go out with a few friends to the local park to the Relay for Life they have there every year. It was just like any normal year I thought. I went to use the bathroom and my friends said they were going to wait on me outside. Well I come outside and no sign of my friends. All of a sudden a man grabs my mouth and my arms and tells me not to say a word or I will regret it. I ended up being raped that night and not having a soul to go to. My so called friends had left and went home already. I was scared and sad. Luckily the park was maybe 5 mins from where I lived. It was about 11 a night so I walked. I made it home and the first thing I did was get in the shower. Blood was pouring and I was shaken and frightened. My mom knew something was wrong but I was so scared to tell her. To this day she still doesn't know that I was raped. I was so ashamed of myself and actually thought it was brought on me for a reason because I was made fun of so much. I am telling my story to let girls know that is okay to tell. I have lived with this for almost 6 years and it still hurts. PLEASE GET HELP!!


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## Teresamachado (Aug 7, 2006)

I donâ€™t think that there is words for me to tell you on how sorry I am that this happened to you. I just want you to know that you are a brave person. My sister was raped too. This is the worst thing that could ever happen to a person.

It is unquestionably ok to tell. I think that is the best remedy.

I donâ€™t know you but I just want, again to tell you that you are a BRAVE person and

I thank you for sharing your story with us, with me. This can happen to anyone.


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## VenusGoddess (Aug 7, 2006)

First I want to say that I am so sorry this happened to you. I think it's great that you've finally said something. That's always the first step.

The second thing I needed to say is that I learned that when we dwell on the past and focus on what happened, it makes it that much harder to move on. We become stuck in the past because we keep thinking about it. I was raped at the age of 19 (13 years ago) and although I know this...I do not think about it at all. I've completely let it go. Letting it go doesn't mean that you "forget" it happened, it just means that you have no "feeling" about what happened. In the beginning, it's hard to let it go, naturally...and you are still kind of still at the beginning of "recovery". But, know that as you talk and air this information...journal all of your thoughts and feelings, you begin to let go of the feeling of what happened.

We are physically raped one time (usually) but we rape ourselves repeatedly by focusing on and refusing to air details about the rape for years afterwards. Your mind knows no time. So, every time you think about the rape and don't say anything, your mind puts your body through the same feelings of actually being raped at that moment...

Next time you begin remembering the details...stop, take a deep breath, journal it all, and remind yourself that it's in the past and it's just residual stuff that needs to be released.

It does get better...and you learn a lot about yourself in the process. The most important thing to remember is that you deserve happiness and that there are men out there who would love to treat you as the wonderful, loving woman that you are.

Many, many hugs to you!


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## marshall1704 (Aug 7, 2006)

Thanks for the great comments. My husband has helped me heal greatly.


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## Aquilah (Aug 7, 2006)

I'm truly very sorry to hear that happened to you! Being raped is probably my biggest fear in life! My mom has been raped twice, and the first time it happened she was only 13 y.o. I cannot even begin to imagine how this has affected you over time. I think it's very brave of you to tell your story, and I can already tell you're beginning to heal. I also think it's great that your husband has been very supportive and has helped in your healing process. For me, and this may sound naive, but I still believe you were a virgin until you willingly decided to no longer be one. So, while in a physical sense you may not have been a virgin once you were raped, I would like to believe you were still one until you mentally and emotionally decided you were no longer ready to be a virgin. Or even physically still. As I said, this may be naive of me to believe this, but I do. Continue to move on with your life without letting this hinder you any more than you can possibly let it. You're a strong person, and you're brave. I wish you the best in life sweetie, and remember, we're always here for you


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## Gwendela (Aug 7, 2006)

Thank you for sharing your story. My Mom was almost raped by a close family member as a teen. I won't go into details on the board but if you would like to pm that is okay. Even though she didn't meet him until a few years later my Dad helped her a lot.

I'm sure that your post will mean a lot to another person going through the same situation. You are a strong, beautiful, and caring woman.


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## SierraWren (Aug 7, 2006)

Thank you so much for sharing your story, that takes a lot of courage and kindness--things you clearly have in bountiful supply.I am terribly sorry that you had to suffer through what you did:don't ever doubt your expressing it is going to help others. I am so glad you have emotional support now and are in the process of healing...and thanks again!


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## Midgard (Aug 7, 2006)

There is so much I would like to tell you, but I'm no native english speaker and those emotional matters are hard for me to put in words!

I feel so sorry for you and others who have to deal with rape.

You are so brave to share your story with others to tell them, they don't have to shame for anything and encourage them to share their storys!

You are in my prayers! *big hugs*


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## Pauline (Aug 7, 2006)

Hi marshall1704, i am sorry to hear about what happened to you. It is a shame you were not able to tell anyone about what happened and it is good that you are now able to talk about it. It is also great that your husband has been supportive and has helped you heal.

Thank you for being brave by talking about what happened and i hope you have recovered from it.


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## pieced (Aug 8, 2006)

I can't imagine the hurt and the distrust you have against the world due to these mishapps that had happened. Please take your own advise and talk to a psychologist, and work past you emotional hurt. It's so true that rape victus rarly tell anyone about the incident, and go through life feeling this pain and aggression. *It's not their (girls) fault*. SO please get some consuling. Lots of hugs...


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## lynnda (Aug 8, 2006)

Thank you so much for sharing your story. I am so sorry that you had to go thruogh this, but you are so strong and brave for sharing your story. It can't be easy to do. Thank God you have such a supportive husband. I wish you all the best.


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## swapmakeup (Aug 8, 2006)

Marshall1704,

I thank you for telling your story, I sure hope it changes some thoughts of other women who have been in that situation before, like me.

I've never told my story which happened when I was 8, I was raped and abused by my babysitter, who was a very good friend of the family. I have a 10 year old daughter now and it totally scares me that she's growing up and I dont want her to have what happened to me, happen to her.

Thank you for sharing your story


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## BrazenBrunhilda (Aug 9, 2006)

I am so sorry. You must tell and purge the pain and attempt to work through it, as awful as it will be. There are many great professionals out there who really understand your agony and plight. I wish you the very best, dear. Hang in there.


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## CuTeLiCiOuS (Aug 9, 2006)

You did not bring it yourself.You should go to a pyshologist and start talking things out. You know when you live with a secret that takes away from your life. Those people who made fun of you and the person who raped you are UGLY people! You should report to the police that rapist is till out there. When you were young you were scared, you had nobody to turn to. That ugly monster is still out there and he shouldn't be. He could easily hurt a child. You deserve and it is your right to speak up.


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## ivette (Aug 9, 2006)

i'm sorry you had a horrible experience. i applaud your courage to speak out and to encourage others who have gone through the same thing as you did to get help


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## mebabygirl86 (Aug 9, 2006)

I am so sorry that you had to experience such a heinous assault.I have personally never been raped but I i have been assaulted at a young age and the images are still with me.I am just glad that you have a wonderful husband that helps you through


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## marshall1704 (Aug 10, 2006)

I should also mention to you ladies, that just because you have been raped doesn't mean you have to accept another guy to treat you badly. Before I was raped, I met a guy through my brother fell madly in love. We dated for awhile till he started abusing me. Then he left me for his ex. The next year we were back together again and he the abuse kept on and on. He chose me over drugs, other girls, over his friends. He at least never had the urge to do anything of those things in front of me at least behind my back but it still hurt. I gave him a lot of my heart. We broke up again. Then it came time for my senior prom. I had been through so much with him that I had already planned to break up with him after prom. He told me that night if I would have done it that I would have been down on the ground. After that night we didn't speak. Well again the next year I saw him and we started dating again. He had given up drugs so I had thought and had a great job. He really did try this last time but I finally said I can't do it. I was way too stuck in the past to move on. I finally realized I kept going back to him only because I felt I couldn't do any better. Those almost 3 years off and on have made me grow up a lot. A year later I met my lovely boyfriend Chris whom is now my husband and he has helped heal me a lot. I have never met such a fine gentlemen that accepted me for who I was and actually would sit down and listen to me. He has been my counselor and I have been able to get over my past. I wanted to share my story because I wanted anyone that has been raped that it is not your fault and you can get over it. In my situation, it was so dark where I was raped I had no way to see the guy really. It was a scarey thing and I would have loved to go to the police but I didn't have much to go by. My so called friends were not my friends. I no longer speak to them.


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## luxotika (Aug 10, 2006)

I am sorry to hear that this happened to you. Thank you for the courage to share your story. One thing that I must point out that no one has thusfar on this thread, is that once a rape occurs, the best thing to do would be to go to the Emergency Room right afterwards and have a "rape kit" performed. (That is what it is called, they should think of a different name). According to statistics, most men that commit rape do not wear a condom, so if he leaves some of his DNA on/in you, you could find out who he is and nail that son of a *****, and hopefully he would serve some prison time. Sorry, I felt that I had to point this out.


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## sadhunni (Aug 10, 2006)

it's so sad of what happened, but u are very brave by telling us the whole story.


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## babydoll1209 (Aug 10, 2006)

I'm truly deeply sorry to hear what happened to you. I am in no position to give you advice or suggestion. I just hope you get over it and god bless you a happy long life.


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## lovesboxers (Aug 10, 2006)

I am so sorry to hear what happened to you. It does take a lot of courage to come out and speak of something so painful. Hopefully being able to talk about it will help you start to heal. I am glad to hear that your husband is a good man who treats you well and can help you with this. Thank you for sharing your story and God Bless You.


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## charish (Aug 10, 2006)

That's awful, I'm so sorry. That happened to someone in my family whom i'd rather not say b/c the way it happened and b/c it was by a person of the same sex is just too awful. It something that affected all of us in my family. You never forget or get over it, but the one thing you need to understand and accept is that it's not your fault and remember that it could had been even worse than that. (for anyon it happens to). i think besides murder and other kinds of abuse, that's one of the worst. Anything really that happens against your will is awful. I know there are some people out there who have more of a forgiving heart than me b/c that is something that ijust can't forgive anyone for.


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## Anyah_Green (Aug 10, 2006)

I am so sorry. I will pray for you and I think talking about it is the first step. If you ever need to talk we are always here! Or if you'd like you can e-mail me anytime! [email protected]

Thinking of you today!


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## Annia (Aug 10, 2006)

I can relate.. it has happened to me, only 2 times more and has completely altered my life. One day I'll share that story.

I am sorry hun, just always know it was not your fault. (I used to feel that I was guilty but not so much any more) and like you.. my parents don't have a clue what happened and never will.


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## TylerD (Aug 11, 2006)

OOOOOO my god!!! I just read that now and that is the most sadest thing I have ever seen. Words cant describe how sorry I am for you. That is so horrible. I hope people like that just go straight to hell. Seriously as I was reading that I got so choked up. I seriously wish you knew who this ****in ******* was!! Give me his name and number and I would sure make him feel worse then you do right now!!! I cant believe that happened to you. Im so sorry



.


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## Humeira (Aug 11, 2006)

Originally Posted by *marshall1704* I should also mention to you ladies, that just because you have been raped doesn't mean you have to accept another guy to treat you badly. Before I was raped, I met a guy through my brother fell madly in love. We dated for awhile till he started abusing me. Then he left me for his ex. The next year we were back together again and he the abuse kept on and on. He chose me over drugs, other girls, over his friends. He at least never had the urge to do anything of those things in front of me at least behind my back but it still hurt. I gave him a lot of my heart. We broke up again. Then it came time for my senior prom. I had been through so much with him that I had already planned to break up with him after prom. He told me that night if I would have done it that I would have been down on the ground. After that night we didn't speak. Well again the next year I saw him and we started dating again. He had given up drugs so I had thought and had a great job. He really did try this last time but I finally said I can't do it. I was way too stuck in the past to move on. I finally realized I kept going back to him only because I felt I couldn't do any better. Those almost 3 years off and on have made me grow up a lot. A year later I met my lovely boyfriend Chris whom is now my husband and he has helped heal me a lot. I have never met such a fine gentlemen that accepted me for who I was and actually would sit down and listen to me. He has been my counselor and I have been able to get over my past. I wanted to share my story because I wanted anyone that has been raped that it is not your fault and you can get over it. In my situation, it was so dark where I was raped I had no way to see the guy really. It was a scarey thing and I would have loved to go to the police but I didn't have much to go by. My so called friends were not my friends. I no longer speak to them. that is Very sad ..i am very sorry to hear what happened to you


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## TylerD (Aug 13, 2006)

Originally Posted by *hollywood* That is a good idea! Please tell us the name of the person who raped you and give us his number. I don't mind making long distance harrassing phone calls to a rapist.
I think everybody in EDS did this, it would be our own best way to show him!

I hope that isnt a shot directed toward me. I have no idea if you are serious or being sarcastic. None the less I wasnt serious, I was just trying to say if I met someone like that one day I have no idea what I would do. So if your making fun of me, please stop and you arent then sorry for the confussion.


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## marshall1704 (Aug 13, 2006)

Yeah that is kind of hurtful to say. As mentioned before I do not know the guy and have never seen him in my life. Please leave comments like that to yourself. They can be very hurtful. We are mature human beings in this forum. This was not a joke and even if I did know him what would calling him do??


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## Xexuxa (Aug 14, 2006)

I'm really sorry to hear about all this. I can't believe how cruel people can be. Really.

But I do admire you for being able to talk about it. Thanks for sharing your story with us. And if I may make one suggestion, maybe it would be a good idea to join a support group. They may help you work through this a lot easier than doing it alone


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## TylerD (Aug 14, 2006)

Originally Posted by *marshall1704* Yeah that is kind of hurtful to say. As mentioned before I do not know the guy and have never seen him in my life. Please leave comments like that to yourself. They can be very hurtful. We are mature human beings in this forum. This was not a joke and even if I did know him what would calling him do?? I apologize. I was so mad reading it then and felt so bad for you. Stuff just came out the wrong way.


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## MothersMilk (Aug 15, 2006)




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