# Boyfriend's dad dying?



## x33cupcake (Mar 6, 2008)

my boyfriends dad is dying and i dont know what to do =/ he is so standoffish it is hard for me to talk to him and all i'm trying to do is help .. any advice?


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## pinksugar (Mar 6, 2008)

that's really horrible. I'm so sorry to hear that.

All I can think of is just being there, maybe at night when he is relaxed then hold him close or snuggle him...

People deal with grief in different ways so expect the unexpected! the only other thing I would say is that don't become an extra stress for him by constantly asking if he's ok, or taking his behaviour personally.

I know that sounds *****y, and of course, the natural reaction is 'as IF I'd do that!' but believe me, it's really easy to become upset when he's seemingly in another world.

AND! don't forget to take care of yourself. Don't beat yourself up. However he treats you during this time, it's not you, it's not your fault!

best of luck chicken!


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## S. Lisa Smith (Mar 6, 2008)

Great advice!!


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## CuTeLiCiOuS (Mar 7, 2008)

this is a hard one, all i can say is just be there for him like you are doing. It must be tough on him and you. It is really sad.


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## beaglette (Mar 7, 2008)

Good advice pinksugar





Warmly,

Brandi


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## love2482 (Mar 7, 2008)

Good advice Rosie.

I would say give him some room, but let him know that you are there to support him 100%. He is grieving in his own way, and you have to let him do that.


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## Shelley (Mar 7, 2008)

I agree with Rosie's and love2482 advice.

Everyone handles grief differently. I would give him space but at the same time let him know you will give him support.


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## 4getmeNot (Mar 10, 2008)

i agree with pinksugar &amp; shelley's advice. . .everyone deals with grief &amp; loss in their own way. imagine what you'd feel like if your dad were dying. (God forbid!) how would you want your signifigant other to treat you during this difficult time? (and again, this can be different for people too). he will probably want lots of space for awhile.


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## laurreenn (Mar 16, 2008)

i definitely know how frustrating that can be. i want to be there for my boyfriend and talk out the horrible things he's going through, but he's cold and withdrawn. he keeps telling me he loves me, but he doesn't do ANYTHING anymore. it sucks. in my experience though, you have to hold it in and get through it. no matter how hard it is for you, it MUST be harder for him (that's what i kept reminding myself) and then eventually, he realized that i was suffering because of what he was going through and he somehow learned to deal with the grief.


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