# My sister is taking everything from me...



## krazykid90 (Apr 11, 2008)

I am so sick and tired of my younger sister. She started dating one of my friends recently and all of a sudden she's getting all cocky and treating me like crap. Almost every day she comes into my room to use my hair straightener and hair dryer and more often than not she doesn't return them the same day! It makes me mad, if she is going to use it every day maybe she should get her own, you know? She'll come into my room and use my make up without asking me, and without wiping off the top layer when she is done. I'll find her in her room with my make up brushes and she doesn't understand why I get mad that she took them and has no plans on washing them when she is done. Seriously, she doesn't even understand hygene!

I even found out recently that she has been using my razor for years! No wonder it's always dull! All this time I've been buying new blades all the time and she has been using it and dulilng it on me! I can't get over how gross that is that she didn't even buy her own razor! I think I'm gonig to have to start locking up my deoderant before she starts getting into that too.

And now that she is dating one of my friends she is taking them too! They are inviting her over before me because they want to make her feel included, and they don't seem to care that I hate my sister right now and don't want to spend 24/7 with her.

And just last weekend I had made plans with her and some other girlfriends to go shopping this weekend. I get home from school and find out that they went today without even calling me to see if I'd like to go. It was MY idea to go shopping this weekend and they totally ditched me.

So now I get to spend my evening sitting alone in my room because all my friends are having my little sister over, and all our mutual friends are going with her. She's planning on having them over after so they can watch MY dvds on MY dvd player while I sit in my room crying because my 20 year old sister doesn't understand the concept of personal property, and stealing friends.

I know I'm complainnig alot, it's just been eating me inside for a few months and I need to vent before I snap.


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## Andi (Apr 11, 2008)

wow I can imagine how ANNOYING this must be. I have a younger brother (3ys younger) and heÂ´s friends with my friends and vice versa, but itÂ´s not like we hang out with the other oneÂ´s friends alone..itÂ´s usually one big group.

Is it an option that you just join the crowd? If you stay by yourself while sheÂ´s hanging out with all your friends youÂ´ll just get more and more angry, so I think you need to mark your territory lol

Sorry if this advice is crap, I donÂ´t have a sister so I wouldnÂ´t how it would be like to be in this situation.


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## Maysie (Apr 11, 2008)

I'm sorry you're having to deal with this, I know what a pain sisters can be. I went through something *very* similar with my sister in high school. She would use/take my stuff and started trying to date all of my guy friends. It felt like she was taking over my world. I think maybe it was because she was desperate for attention...I bet thats the case with your sister too. I know it doesn't really make you feel any better...but just think about it like this, she's obviously trying to be more like you and its probably a form of flattery if she's using your stuff and hanging out with your friends. Maybe you should have a conversation with her about her using your stuff, and being more considerate. Explain to her that you're more than happy to let her use your things IF she treats them with respect. Not really sure what to say about the friend situation...she might get defensive. I might address that one with my friends directly...to see why they didn't wait. Hope things get better soon!


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## madchenrogue (Apr 12, 2008)

Well I IF were you, and this is me talking. I would put a lock in your closet. A real heavy duty LOCK so she cant get to your stuff. And if it gets to a point she goes and grabs your bras, socks.... Go to a hardware store, and get your self a storage and PUT all your belongings and LOCK them in. It would be to a point when ANYONE enters your room it would look SO vacant and so plain, and NO ONE and I mean NO ONE will have access to your shampoo, hairspray, hair accessories, clothing....THIS may annoy your parents and sister, but IT will give you a peace of mind. And if your parents say "Why you have that Horrid storage locker in your room, you have plenty of drawers". Well tell them that you notice that you have missing items, and you are just protecting your belongings. If people can store away valuables in a safe box in a bank, why can't you do the same with your things at home? I would put a lock in your bedroom if I were you. Not a single one BUT DOUBLE. And hide the keys very well.


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## krazykid90 (Apr 12, 2008)

Thanks for the advice, it really made me feel better. I'm glad to know I'm not the only one would be frusterated in this situation.

After posting that message I still didn't feel any better so I called my fiance (in tears, because I'm classy like that) and I totally just vented to him. He told me he was with some of my friends and they were all about to go pick up a truck and my sister would not be invited, so I ended up tagging along. They told me that they tolerate my sister, but the love me, which made me feel much better. It felt good being able to tell them how frusterating it has been having my sister around 24/7, and it felt better that they were so understanding.

I was finally starting to feel better by the time I went back home, but as soon as I opened the door and saw my sister I snapped at her and yelled at her for not even calling to see if I was free to go shopping with her. My mom started to yell at me about how I'm always angry and pick fights so I just went into my room. By the time I went downstairs again my sister and her friends were in the basement and my mom was in the kitchen. I expected her to start yelling at me again, but instead she just hugged me and I started crying again. It was really emotional to me because my mom has always been very distant from me, and she has never taken my side in an argument between my sisters. We spent the entire night sharing a bottle of wine, watching a movie, and she just let me spill my heart out.

I determined that I am such a stereotypical middle child. My older sister has Asperger's, so she has always been pampered and given special priveleges to help her fit in. My younger sister was a stereotypical youngest child, who was spoiled. I was kind of left to fend for myself a bit. Being only 2 years younger than my older sister, and 2 years older than my younger sister made it really hard for me to see these special priveleges that the two of them got, but I still wasn't allowed to get. I mean, even to this day my parents will pay for the dental bills of my two sisters but I've been paying my own for years! In the past whenever my sisters and I were fighting my mom would always blame me and pull me aside and tell me how I was supposed to be the mature one. My older sister was very upset she never made honour role in junior high or high school, so when I made it my parents refused to even congragulate me and went so far as to complain about how the honour role is an unfair system while I was in the same room.

It just feels great having my mom on my side, and being able to be friends with her. She said that she'll help me work something out so that my personal things will be off limits, so I'm hoping that means she'll let me brake the 'no locks on the door' rule.


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## Johnnie (Apr 12, 2008)

Seems to me like your so-called friends aren't who you thought they were. I'm really sorry they ditched you. If this is who they are then maybe it's time to move on. You're cute and I'm sure sweet too, so it shouldn't be hard for you to make new ones




Oh and I definitely think you need to tell your sister something. I wouldn't tolerate anyone who has a lack of respect for me or my property. Good luck!

I just got through reading your second post and that's unbelievable and wrong. I'm sure you love your mother, like most people, but she's in the wrong for treating you any different from the other two. I can't imagine what that must feel like. My entire family and I are like peas and carrots. I wish you the best and don't let anyone get you down. It's true, don't! Good luck again.


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## puncturedskirt (Apr 12, 2008)

That sucks and that's VERY GROSS that she's using your razor. I'd be pissed..


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## shyiskrazy2 (Apr 12, 2008)

I would go to Walgreen's or Walmart or something and get a knob that has a lock on it (with keys). You just need a screwdriver to install and it's really easy. I had a roommate who would steal things from me all of the time, so I can feel you on that aspect of annoyance. I'm glad that things aren't how you first perceived them to be and that you have people who care about you to talk to.


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## krazykid90 (Apr 12, 2008)

Thanks for all the support



I'm totally writing off those girls I thought were my friends. It's sad though because I don't really have any girlfriends, all my friends are guys. I think that's why it hurt me so much when they went to the mall without me, because I don't have anyone else to go with.


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## McRubel (Apr 12, 2008)

Originally Posted by *krazykid90* /img/forum/go_quote.gif After posting that message I still didn't feel any better so I called my fiance (in tears, because I'm classy like that) HAHAHA you're so cute! I'm sorry to hear about your situation. Everyone needs a little personal space, even from people that they love. I know that if someone were taking advantage of all of my stuff and my friends, it would feel like they were stealing my life right from under me. I would seriously have a heart-to-heart with your mom and sis and spell out a few things (quit taking my stuff....get your own!!!!) and let your mom back you up on that. As far as friends go, I think having separate friends is a good thing. My bro and I are 1 year apart and we had the same acquaintances but as far as friends we hung out with, we had different groups. Otherwise you can't say certain things that you don't want your family members to hear!!!!!!!!!! And then you don't get offended if they call and invite your sis to do something but not you. You need to feel wanted and important and liked too!!!


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## luxotika (Apr 12, 2008)

I think maybe it's time to move out and get your own place. You still live with your mom, right?


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## krazykid90 (Apr 13, 2008)

Yeah, I still live at home. The rate things are going I'm seriously thinking of moving in with my fiance this summer and cutting off all ties with my family. The only reason I haven't moved out already is the program I'm with at school requires me to take 7-9 courses each semester, so I can only work a few days a week and I'd feel guilty living with my fiance while he pays most of the bills.


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## laurreenn (Apr 13, 2008)

i'm so sorry i know how annoying that can be my sister does that to me all the time. also she likes tagging along when i'm hanging out with my boyfriend and our friends and it's pretty irritating because i like spending time with friends and not always be babysitting/around her 24/7.

but you have a fiance, you're almost out of the house so the problem should fix itself soon right?


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## Killah Kitty (Apr 13, 2008)

That sucks, ok being an only child my advice wont be any good, but I agree with the girls get some locks, and also for your drawers or closet too, because locks are easy to pick open (the standard door knob ones anyway).

And if its really getting on your nerves and not getting any better, I think its fine to consider moving in with your fiance a little early. Have a talk with him. I am sort of in the same situation with my BF. Hes getting his own place very soon but I am doing school + extra school to catch up and finally finish, so I am a bit too busy to get into working enough. He said it would be alright though if I lived with him, cause he wants me around, and I could cook and clean and that stuff lol, and then when I finish my courses I will get a job and help with the bills. If thats another option for you why not go for it...


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## Duchess Ravenwaves (Apr 13, 2008)

I'm sorry to hear that you're having trouble with your friends and family. You should definitely talk to your fiance about moving in with him. You don't deserve to feel so neglected, that's no way to be treated by your friends and your sister.


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## brewgrl (Apr 13, 2008)

Well, as far as guilt and moving in with your fiance while one person is the breadwinner, you shouldn't. in the long scheme of relationships, it evens itself out. I am sure that, since he loves you and is planning on making this lifelong commitment to you, he has a complete understanding of the goals you are trying to create for your future.

good luck with your family. I feel you. When a person doesnt understand boundaries, it's almost impossible for them to ever. so your stuff will always be in jeopardy- BELIEVE ME. not understanding personal boundaries basically means she is writing you off as someone to respect, and that is not right.


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## Killah Kitty (Apr 15, 2008)

Oh yes, defintly talk with your fiance. Like Brewgrl said, your sister is disrespecting you, and getting the message across to her is obviously difficult. Keep us updated!

And dont get discouraged if your fiance doesnt at first seem to like the idea that he has to pay for all the bills alone until you finish your courses and then get a job. My BF was at first totally against this idea, but now he likes it lol. As long as he can afford it, and you help out however you can even if most times its just cooking and cleaning, Im sure that it can work and he will like that. I dont know about your fiance, but my BF is lazy! He cant wait for me to start taking care of everything lol.


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## pretty_pink13 (Apr 15, 2008)

When I lived back home, my little sister always stole my stuff and if I would confront her she would lie about it. She would take and use everything!! Clothes, razors, makeup, anything I owned it seemed like she would touch. And she never gave it back or I would find it weeks later. I was sick and tired of it, so I did the same thing to her yeah it seemed immature at the time but she finally realized how I felt and she stopped...and then I moved out lol but we had a battle going on for years. We are 5 years apart and truly, I think growing up helped a lot. We are a lot closer now and we have matured a lot so I think that helped.


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## Adrienne (Apr 15, 2008)

I dont have a younger sister to deal with this kind of crap but I did grow up with a brother who just wouldn't leave my stuff alone!!

By the time i got to jr high and high school, I had money to buy what I really like (pens, minor accessories and junk; cds) and my brother would always take them. It annoyed the heck outta me when we were growing and this is literally one of the reasons we still don't get along that great. We tolerate each other but that's about it.

Now when I had my sis in law live with me and my husband that created a lot of problems. I would leave my cosmetics in a bathroom cabinet (closed so no moisture would get in) and I would constantly find brushes that I know i hadn't touched used and even some of mu!! She is very unsanitary (broken e/s rolling around in one bag, lids missing, old mascara) and I'm a neat freak when it comes to my mu!! Unfortunately I had to keep my stuff locked up in huge traincases just to keep her out.

I hope everything goes well!! It seems that you need to talk to your so-called friends and find out why they keep treating you like this. You're friends should always support you and it seems that they're just being ignorant!


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## ColdDayInHell (Apr 15, 2008)

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time with your sister and your friends. I would definitely consider moving out as soon as I can. Good luck!


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## laurreenn (Apr 16, 2008)

my sister used to steal things from me all the time and deny it too. it bugged the shit out of me and always made me feel like i was violated. she's older now and she still does it sometimes.


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## krazykid90 (Apr 16, 2008)

We had a breakthrough! My sister finally apologised to me about taking all my stuff. She also apologised for spending all her spare time with my friends. The way she put it is that she realised that all my life I've gone out of my way to make her feel included and involved with my friends, and then she starts dating one my friends and was going out of her way to make sure I was excluded from certain things. I'm still upset that she would do that in the first place, but we are on the road to being friends again.


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## Sporkle (Apr 20, 2008)

My sisters the same! Shes my indentical twin though so shes the same shoes size and dress size as me, and has all the same friends because we were in the same year at school / college. Does mean that I get to nick all her stuff too though so it aint all bad lol


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