# Why Am I Thinking This?



## smhamil (Oct 26, 2008)

Hi,

I don't really post to the forums, but I think I need some SERIOUS advice. Last night my hubby and I went to an early Haloween party. I went as a guy and he went as a girl. I made him up really good and I hate to say this, but he looked REALLY cute! I have to admit he looked like a real girl. I guess I did a really good job on him. Anyway, we both enjoyed ourselves and had a really great time. Here is the problem... I want him to dress up again. I can't explain it, but I felt so close to him and started treating him like my BFF. I want him to be her again and maybe, gulp, more often. What is wrong with me? I am not bi or anything. It isn't sexual. I just felt this closeness that I want again. I kinda noticed how different he was also. He seemed softer and more at ease. We actually had a wonderful talk when we got home. He actually listened to me!!! I have a feeling if I mentioned it, he would do it again, just a feeling I have. Am I going crazy? I feel silly asking this here, but I don't know what to do.


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## Darla (Oct 27, 2008)

haha I loved reading this. It sounds like great fun. That sounded a little like my first experience crossdressing for a halloween party.

So no there is nothing wrong with you. As long as he enjoyed it too and it doesn't mean some drastic change in your relationship it is all just harmless fun. If it gives him even a small appreciation for what you go through on a regular basis then it is a learning experience.

So were there any pictures taken?


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## Joan_CD (Oct 27, 2008)

I guess I am a little biased here, because I am a male that dresses female! It was actually my wife's idea to try it and it was kinda fun. When I am dressed she told me that I am a bit softer also and that I am easier to get along with. Go figure! Actually, I feel like a different person. I don't feel like I have to put the macho image up and can actually be a bit softer. She likes me like that to the extent that she asks me if "Joan" is going to be around to go shopping with her! To tell you the truth, I now like it better as well and spend most of my time at home as Joan. We do a lot of things together, including shopping, something I rarely did with her before. I now understand why it takes so long to shop, cause we are both trying things on and offering our opinions!

I think if you both feel its ok and it makes both of you feel comfortable, then it's ok. As I said, I am a bit biased in this area. Perhaps some of the gals can offer their opinons. Please let us know what happens in the future, if anything.


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## chantelle8686 (Oct 27, 2008)

hmm i dont think there is a problem with it...just tell him how "she" made u feel and that when u need her will she come back for u?

just tell him what u told us...all he can do is say no right....and just explain to him it has nothing to do with it being sexual just more for u to comfort in and express things...then maybe as u guys are more into then maybe can lesser the clothing and the makeup so u will be able to talk to him then "her" all the time

Would he be comfortable to do it all the time at home?

Or when u need "her" to come out so u can talk?

just talk to him a bit more ans just see what he does say u never know he may enjoy it also....also ask him how being a girl with u etc made him feel?


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## Darla (Oct 27, 2008)

I'm glad you mentioned that part about it not necessarily being a sexual thing. I think the two predominant misconceptions about crossdressing are that it is a sexual fetish. The second is that all crossdressers are gay. Both not necessarily true at all.


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## pinksugar (Oct 27, 2008)

aww, that's really sweet. I don't think it's weird. He can only say no, so I say go for it!


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## smhamil (Oct 27, 2008)

So you guys don't think I am being weird or anything? I made a mistake and said last night. It was actually Friday night, so i have been thinking about it for a couple of days. I saw a really cute outift in the Macys flyer and was thinking of getting it and laying it out for when he comes home from work. I will tell what I said here, that I felt so very close to her and want her to come back. I just have this feeling that he wil say yes, cause he was so relaxed when we came home and was really listening to me. We talked for a long time about all kinds of stuff, including my job and how I feel towards one of my friends. She really listened and I looked at her and thought how she was the sister I never had (2 brothers). I really, really, really, hope this isn't weird and I get a new BFF!!!!!!! Could I end up with the best of both worlds, a hubby and a sister? I feel soooo excited about all this!


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## Joan_CD (Oct 27, 2008)

I am hoping that some other gals offer advice about this. I am dying to see what the consensus is. So what do you all think.... should he dress up and be her BFF? I vote YES


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## AngelaGM (Oct 27, 2008)

If this makes your relationship stronger, then go for it!


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## smhamil (Oct 29, 2008)

OMG.... I went to Macys and bought the outifit!!!!! Now Im need to get up the nerve to bring it out. Should I just lay it out on the bed or maybe after we have some drinks or kinda feel him out. Chantelle, i think he would go for it cause he seemed to have a really good time and admitted it felt different but kinda nice. Maybe I should wait for the weekend so we can have some time for ourselves.


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## S. Lisa Smith (Nov 1, 2008)

This is exactly backwards from most situations. Most crossdressers would think that they died and went to heaven to have this happen. If your husband enjoyed it and is fine with it then it's all good. Of course I'm a crossdresser so I would think so. On the crossdressing forums we warn people to go slow so their spouse doesn't freak out, and I think this would be a good thing for you to do also. My wife has been accepting and helpful although she doesn't want to see me dressed. It has been a long process so if this is wat you want , go slow!! If you have any questions leave a comment on my profile page since you can't PM me at this point. There are quite a few crossdressers here and we would be glad to answer your questions.


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## mahreez (Nov 1, 2008)

well, i don't think it's weird...but im just wondering if you'd be okay if your hubby decided to crossdress on a more regular basis coz maybe it's just a phase for you then afterwards you might not be okay with it.


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## smhamil (Nov 2, 2008)

Hi Ladies...

Welllll..... Ill tell ya how it is going. Friday night we were sitting home and I told him about how close I felt and was hoping we could do it again. He said it didn't feel overly bad or anything and that he felt a little different that night. I asked him if we could do it again and he said ok!!!!!!! I got the outfit I picked up at Macys and did his makeup and she was back. We drank some wine and relaxed a bit. After awhile we just kinda relaxed and talked again like we did the other night. It was wonderful to have my BFF back. We talked about so many things that are on my mind and even some things on hers that she didn't tell me before. Gee that wine was good!!!

Saturday, we went out so there really wasnt anytime for her to be around. I really missed that. Sunday morning I asked if she could hang out with me a little and he said if it made me happy then why not! I guess thats why I love him so much. She hung out with me all day today, and afterawhile we both got kinda comfy about it and chatted away as we did stuff. Nothing special or anything. Just things around the house. But it felt so warm and nice to have a BFF there and still know hubby was not far away. You know I think she might like it a little, cause I saw her looking in the mirror when she didnt know I was looking. I have to say girls that right now this feels like so much fun. Mahreez said that maybe I wouldnt like it in the future. I dont know, but right now i have to admit that I am liking this and I think she does also. We agreed that we may take one or two weekends a month for her to be around.

What do you all think? Do you think we are doing ok or do you see problems ahead. I love him for being him but also love having my BFF as well. Can I have it all or do you think I cant?


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## Karren (Nov 2, 2008)

As a crossdresser I'd say that's pretty neat!! A husband and a girlfriend!! Lol. What does he really feel about the idea?

But you better watch it... You may start somethings that not reversible.. Its been know to happen...


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## S. Lisa Smith (Nov 3, 2008)

Sounds great, like I said though...take it slow! You don't want to "burn him out." Although my wife is supportive she doesn't want to meet Lisa, so I think you are sooo cool. Wish she would change her mind...oh well.


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## chantelle8686 (Nov 3, 2008)

oh wow i think thats great!!! and i think once a month is a good start also as long as ur husband is comfy with it


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## smhamil (Nov 23, 2008)

Originally Posted by *chantelle8686* /img/forum/go_quote.gif oh wow i think thats great!!! and i think once a month is a good start also as long as ur husband is comfy with it We've done it a few more times and seem to be doing ok with it. She is even getting better at doing her own makeup!!! We are talking about going to a movie and doing a girls night out. That will be FUN!
But, we are doing ok. We are not overdoing it, but both enjoying it. And when hubby is around, all is ok and we keep them apart.

So far so good!!!!!!!!!!!


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## S. Lisa Smith (Nov 24, 2008)

It is sooo great that this is working out!! I'd love to be mky wife's BFF!


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## smhamil (Feb 26, 2009)

Hi All,

It's been a few months since I was last here (been so busy with work and home) and I thought I would give you an update! We are doing fabulously! She is around most of the time now and we have so much fun. It took awhile, but she finally made it out shopping with me and it was such fun. We go to movies together, nail salon now and we both LOVE shopping lol. And when we need it... he comes around as well for those "moments" when only he will do. I can't believe how this is turning out and can only say its fun. While I know its not evryones bag, you might want to try it and see what happens (if you dont have a BFF already). She is mine and I am hers. So far so good. I guess as long as we both enjoy it, its ok, right? Hugs to all!!!!


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## S. Lisa Smith (Feb 26, 2009)

Wonderful news!! Enjoy it!


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## pinksugar (Feb 26, 2009)

awww, that i so good to hear that it's working out for you!


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## reesesilverstar (Feb 26, 2009)

Wow... This was an interesting read... But I'm glad it's working out for you guys...


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## ticki (Feb 26, 2009)

As long as it's not hurting anybody, do what you wanna do! Glad to hear everything is working well for the both of you.


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## HairEgo (Feb 26, 2009)

Originally Posted by *reesesilverstar* /img/forum/go_quote.gif Wow... This was an interesting read... But I'm glad it's working out for you guys... I agree!


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## smhamil (Mar 2, 2009)

Originally Posted by *reesesilverstar* /img/forum/go_quote.gif Wow... This was an interesting read... But I'm glad it's working out for you guys... Originally Posted by *HairEgo* /img/forum/go_quote.gif I agree! I know this isn't right for everyone, but it seems to be doing ok for us and it seems to be pretty harmless fun. Thank you all for your support and at the very least.... understanding!!!


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## smhamil (May 14, 2010)

Hi again to all!

It's been quite a while since my last update. I just wanted you to know how it's going. We are very happy and live mainly now as two women in the house. We are enjoying so much together and spend more time together now than we ever did before. She has really blossomed. She dieted down to a size 10 and her hair is shoulder length. She is also really good at makeup now and her sense of fashion has just blossomed! He very rarely comes around anymore and I think I like that. In retrospect I suspect this woman was hidden inside just yearning to come out.

I know this isn't for everyone but it is working wonderfully for us. I am just so happy with the path we travelled.

( the other day I saw her on the web looking at a plastic surgery site for implants. LOL)


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## divadoll (May 16, 2010)

This definitely has been an interesting read. Thank you for sharing and the updates. It's a very beautiful story.


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## Lucy (May 16, 2010)

wow! sounds like it's really good for you guys right now. gosh, this thread was started almost two years ago now. it's nice to watch the transformation of someone like this.


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## divadoll (May 16, 2010)

Originally Posted by *smhamil* /img/forum/go_quote.gif Hi again to all!
It's been quite a while since my last update. I just wanted you to know how it's going. We are very happy and live mainly now as two women in the house. We are enjoying so much together and spend more time together now than we ever did before. She has really blossomed. She dieted down to a size 10 and her hair is shoulder length. She is also really good at makeup now and her sense of fashion has just blossomed! He very rarely comes around anymore and I think I like that. In retrospect I suspect this woman was hidden inside just yearning to come out.

I know this isn't for everyone but it is working wonderfully for us. I am just so happy with the path we travelled.

( the other day I saw her on the web looking at a plastic surgery site for implants. LOL)

OK... I read this last night and this question has been plaguing me since then...As this is your husband/bff, is there still that marital relationship there? I have to ask...its driving me crazy so I'm sorry in advanced if I sound crude.


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## smhamil (May 17, 2010)

Yes Diva... the relationship is definitely still there, just in a different light. We still have our "time" together and it is still as good as it always was, sometimes better! I know it can sound a little crazy, but I still see him in her and I still feel wanted, secure and loved! I just see him in a different light now... prettier



LOL


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## HisBunny (May 17, 2010)

ok sorry but i have to ask! plz do not take this wrong in any way. but is he now gay? dose he go to work like that? dose he dress up like her around family? surgery site for implants?? whattt do you mean implants? i think its really neat that he could do that for you shows how much he loves you and im happy that you just seem to be soo happy!!! i kinds wish i would get my hubby to dress up it would be a good laugh and i think even a good talk like you said! but my hubby would flat out say no if i told him that!


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## smhamil (May 17, 2010)

No, she is not gay at all! I put an LOL after the breast implant remark, but I should have also said she was just teasing with me. As far as work goes, her job would be in jeopardy if she dressed, so at work he shows up. She wears her hair in a pony tail at work and desses the part. But at home, it's just us gals!

I know some don't approve, but we have a loving and caring relationship that has truly blossomed. I love her both ways!


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## HisBunny (May 18, 2010)

If both of you all are happy thats all that matters! Im glad it worked out for both of yall!


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## divadoll (May 18, 2010)

I don't think anyone is judging. I was just curious about the logistics of it all.


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## smhamil (May 18, 2010)

I know Diva. I am just commenting to the board on that. I think the gals on here are the nicest and most supportive people there are!


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## pretty_pink13 (May 21, 2010)

I have found this post totally interesting. I think the way it has turned out for you has been great. If I would have suggested anything like that to my man, I don't think he would have gone for it...the most I have gotten away with was giving him an at home facial, which he said he loved, and the other night I was doing my DIY pedicure and he said that he wants me to give him one, one of these days. I always laugh too about applying mascara on him because he has the absolute biggest gorgeous eyelashes I have ever seen and I am always telling him how tempted I am to swipe some on him lol.


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## smhamil (May 21, 2010)

LOL pretty. I guess I have the best of all worlds, but it is so much fun!


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## Darla (May 21, 2010)

Thanks for the update as well. I recall when you first posted this how unique it was. Normally a guy is not suggested into crossdressing on their own but had some thoughts about it at one time.

But it is really, really special when you have a lady who can accept it and welcome it.

I had a question which i was hoping you might answer. When he is dressed do you find that his persona has changed somewhat? In other words to his (her) manner of speech, mannerisms or anything else changed when dressed?


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## smhamil (May 21, 2010)

Hi Darla;

I know this has a special meaning for you. When she is dressed I notice she is calmer. She definitely is a better listener and is a "softer" person if that makies any sense. I guess she seems relaxed if that is the right word. Her mannerisms tend to be a bit different as well.

Many here think that my story is great and I wonder how many would travel this route if their other half was receptive? I would love to know!!!


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## Darla (May 22, 2010)

thanks for your response smhamil. you sound like a special woman, I'm glad i know one of those too....


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## smhamil (May 22, 2010)

Awww thank you Darla. And I think you are a beautiful lady! I don't think many here know the fun you can have. We try clothes on together in dressing rooms and I always have someone with me to offer fashion and makeup advice and vice versa. I have a girlfriend I can talk to whenever I want or need to and also my guy lover when needed. I know I keep saying it, but we are really happy!


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## Darla (May 22, 2010)

and thanks for your comment too!

it sounds like you kind of strike a nice balance too.


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## MakeupByMe (May 22, 2010)

Originally Posted by *smhamil* /img/forum/go_quote.gif Hi Darla;
I know this has a special meaning for you. When she is dressed I notice she is calmer. She definitely is a better listener and is a "softer" person if that makies any sense. I guess she seems relaxed if that is the right word. Her mannerisms tend to be a bit different as well.

Many here think that my story is great and I wonder how many would travel this route if their other half was receptive? I would love to know!!!

Wow I just read all the post this is sooooooooooo Cool!!! Its like everything worked its way slowly into a what would normally seem awkward position but transitioned into something wonderful for both of you!!!! &amp; I love how after so long you guys still have it together Where you both like your daily living situation...........Can you say Awesome!! Its like a Movie i would love to see lol Like this type of thing never happens in real life (to anyone i know i mean)

You asked If anyone here would travel this route.........For me I dont think i could ...........Ive said b4 if i met a guy that like to "dress up" cool but tell me up front if were in a long term relationship &amp; I find out later well I hate surprises lol Its just something I dont think i could do But Its amazing how great its been for you


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## emily_3383 (May 22, 2010)

Thanks for the update! You both sound very happy.


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## LashTV (Jun 26, 2010)

awwww i am so pleased this has turned out alright for you both ^_^ /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />


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