# Rant/advice



## SexxyKitten (Nov 29, 2005)

so, i guess i just need to get this out here because maybe knowing that a million people also know will motivate me to change.

backstory: i just recently "escaped" (as i like to put it) a couple of years of awful, like, cant-get-out-of-bed depression. dr put me on anti-depressants woot. whatever.

well, now...2 years later, i am at least 100 pounds overweight (i'm totally serious) due to the medication and my tendancy of emotionally-driven eating (the body issues that caused the original depression). can't fit in any of the clothes i love, starting to develop physical problems from being so overweight, don't want to start dating again bc i feel hideous. so, i feel like i'm back at square one.

what started all this? i work as a waitress at a cafe-type thing (i don't like the food all that much so i don't eat anything there...this does have revelance). the other day some as***** customer is at one of my tables and says to me "well, what's good--you look like you've tried everything on the menu a couple of times" WTF!!!! ass. i should have thrown his food in his lap...

now it's sunk in that i look horrible and everyone can tell (i used to be very curvy but all muscle from playing sports all the time and was constantly being told i should model...that's all stopped now). i guess i was in denial because i'm really tall (6'+) and i thought you couldn't tell that i am over 100 pounds heavier than the heaviest healthy weight for my height.

i want to go to the gym (the university's really nice new health center is within a block of my apartment) but i can't motivate myself because i hate the idea of exercising in front of anyone (especially all the hot guys there, and girls who have like 0% body fat) until i'm decent looking again...this is ridiculous. it just goes in circles.

running or whatever in my neighborhood is out of the question. i'll probably get shot at, i mean that completely honestly--i live in a really really bad part of town.

i'm sick of making excuses but i can't find the motivation...

really sorry to stream-of-consciousness rant on here. i just need something, i dont know what though..

:icon_roll


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## nydoll23 (Nov 29, 2005)

Sweetie ,keep your head up!!If weight is an issue for you maybe you can try excercise tapes,so at least your in the privacy of your own home.Perhaps walking or riding a bike around your neighborhood.I know what you mean about not wanting to go to a gym with all these fit people,i felt the same way.I joined a all womens gym last year and that really helped.As for people with their stupid comments,you should pity them.Imagine how boring and unforfilling their lives must be that they take the effort to think of something nasty to say to you!Keep strong ,no one is in your way but yourself,you have to learn to love yourself as you are,then start working on the other things,but do for health and happiness instead of vanity.I hope you get to where you want to be,lots of smiles and their sent your way!!!!!!1:icon_chee


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## MACGoddess (Nov 29, 2005)

Do you have a VCR? I have some tapes of Windsor Pilates that I can copy and send to you... I used to teach aeorbics classes at a gym and the class that got the best results that I taught was the Pilates and Yoga class.

It is low impact and creates long, lean muscles which will replace some of the fat stores and will burn calories a LOT more... I would recommend doing one of the segments (they are about 15-30) twice a week to start, then after 3-4 weeks up it to 3 or 4 times a week. You ultimately want to do the tapes every day, it will REALLY help.

Also once you are into those tapes, I can send you another tape series that wil help once you get your basica strength back...


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## MACGoddess (Nov 29, 2005)

Also what is your diet like? Do you know if the medication makes you gain weight?


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## phoenix461 (Nov 29, 2005)

Sweetie - you took the first step - by even putting this out here for us to help you. :clap One step at a time.

Don't be too hard on yourself because a JACKASS like that person was cruel and insensitive. Trust me - that person has issues as to why he/she was so mean to you. Let me at him/her so I can knock the crap out of him/her.

Make a plan, set small attainable goals each day, week, month and keep us posted here so we can encourage you along on this long and often difficult journey.

Luv ya for being so strong!


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## MACGoddess (Nov 29, 2005)

What the hell?! How DARE people say stuff like that!

I can't stand it when people judge so much...ESPECIALLY because they have NO idea what your life is like. They automatically assume that people who might be overweight are slobs etc. That is NOT true and has NOTHING to do with it!!

Ok, here is what is going to happen girls... Both Trisha and SexxyKitten are going to tell me who said the nasty things, and I am going to head over and kick some a$$... :icon_twis:icon_twis:icon_twis:icon_twis


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## Cirean (Nov 29, 2005)

Definitely start exercising at home, that takes alot of pressure off. Start doing the tapes (or whatever you choose) no more than 3x per week.

Be realistic, don't set a goal at a certain amount of pounds, try just removing one negative thing from your life at a time (sugar, french fries, chips, white flour, etc). If you're not sure where to start, make a journal of everything you eat (be honest!) for 2 weeks, read it over and decide what you could truely give up.

Subscribe to a health magazine, food and/or exercise, and read them to help keep yourself in the right frame of mind.

Start small and you will have a better chance at keeping your weight down over the long term.


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## greeneyedangel (Nov 29, 2005)

I've struggled with weight issues for the past 5 yrs. I know what its like to feel like your running around in circles, feeling helpless, and not worthy. I used to hate all my clothes, lost interest in alot of things I used to do and love because of my weight issues. I was never really over weight-- i was 140 pnds but never felt like I was skinny enough or good enough. I hid away alot.

Over the past year I have changed my life which started with eating healthier. I watch what I eat but don't starve myself. If I want a DAMN cookie I EAT IT! I do watch my carbs-- although I still eat carbs (good ones- whole grains, brown rice ect) and try to eat most of my food for the day before 7pm. After that if I'm hungry I only eat protien. I work out 5x week for an hour. I have lost about 20 pounds (maybe more) and I'm able to maintain it now. I am much happier although I still feel very insecure at times when I am out. And I sometimes still feel self conscience when I'm in a social setting. I hope you find strength to stop the cycle. Its one step at a time. Start by changing your eating habits and do what the other girls suggested which I think is great-- join an all women's gym or buy a peice of cardio equipment for your home  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" /> Goodluck


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## jennycateyez (Nov 29, 2005)

omg girl i feel your pain, i used to weigh 130 and now i weigh ummm alot more then that lets just say, i gained alot of weight since i been with my b/f.this is my first serious relationship and i dont do much but stay home, cause all my friends all go out clubbing and stuff

but one time i was doing my laundry and some old lady tells me omg your are so pretty but you really need to lose all of that weight because it doesnt look good, omg i wanted to break down right there, but i didnt all i did was laugh and said i know, so it hurts alot i know


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## SierraWren (Nov 29, 2005)

First of all, I want to congratualate you for overcoming your depression--an amazing thing to have accomplished. I have struggled with biochemical depression almost half my life (erratically, not always successfully) so I have some firsthand experience of what you have been through. And now you are able to hold a job, lead a productive life--it sounds like you're in college, too? because you mention your University gym--that's terrific! What I mean is, in recovering from depression--escaping, as you put it so well--you have crossed a truly insurmountable seeming obstacle, which takes incredible strength, and I think you will be able to accomplish anything else you want from here--It takes persistence, and patience, and time, but it can happen.

I put on over 25 pounds 4 years ago from my antidepresant(and from depression). The extra weight made me feel (even though the worst of the depression went away, from the drug)like I was in a second kind of a trap, truly a terifying one:my own body. Luckily, after a while my doctor put me on a drug called "Topamax"--you might want to ask your doctor about it; it is specifically used to trigger weight loss in antidepressant-induced weight gain. Also I was put on a dietary supplement called "Chromium Picolinate"(it's available at chain drug stores like Rite Aid)--also supposed to speed the metabolism slightly. You might want to look into this one too; I don't know how much good it did overall but I do believe it helped me lose weight a little faster. And the Topamax definitely helped me START to lose the weight right away--well, quickly--which inspired me and motivated me to stop overeating (which I'd been doing from an awful cycle of frustration and despair.)Then, gradually, I did lose the weight I needed to, without having to stop taking the antidepressant.

I understand about not wanting to work out in public places; I still excercise only at home. Maybe working out to a set of videos,at home (like the ones MAC Goddess suggests)would be more comfortable?STARTING a program/routine of any kind is always the very hardest part for me, but again, you've had the strength to escape your most severe state of depression, which is such a horrifying thing to go through, you can escape this place in your life also. I know other people who have done so and are doing so, daily, so please try to remember you are not all alone!

Btw, I wish you had thrown the plate of food into that customer's lap--or face--that there was some way you could have done it w/out losing your job! He so totally deserved it!:icon_bigg


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## MaraNFla (Nov 29, 2005)

OMG, I would of said, well, you might of been pretty when you were young! LOL... I can't believe people say things like that! When I was married, 8 years ago, I weighed 260, lost 100 pounds and kept it off for over 8 years. Only people that made fun of me were my family, and I think that hurts more then strangers! I yo-yo about 15 pounds of that. I got very sick, almost lost my life back in april, lost down to 140, and that is thin for my large frame! I loved it! But was told to eat more I was very malnourshed! I know I have gained some weight back because my clothes are to tight, and I hate it! I seem to be obsessed with looking fat, BUT can't seem to get motivated to eat right again. Maybe some of us that need to lose some weight can try together? The way I lost the 100 pounds was threw a 1000 calorie intake, for 6 days, 7th day I eat what I wanted, and I mean what I wanted!  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" /> I exercised 3 days a week, for 45 min. A 1000 cals, might seem low and it was at first! But I found some good food with low cals, that tasted good, and I was not hungry, and that 7th day was heaven. Good luck with what ever plan you chose to lose weight!... Mara...


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## jennycateyez (Nov 29, 2005)

lol yeah i sould of right,wow sounds like a great diet, whats the stuff you ate?


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## Liz (Nov 29, 2005)

i know how you feel. it feels like SUCH hard work because you're like "oh god... i have to lose XXX pounds!" but it seems that people that are heavier to lose a lot of weight at first. my sis is overweight, and in the past 4 months, she has lost 70 pounds and has another 80 or so to lose!

so if you just START, even if it's slowly, you'll start to lose weight. then it gets addicting and you're proud of your hard work, so you'll want to keep it up.

and i know how it feels about going to the gym. i just have to tell myself that i'm not there to hook up with someone, so i don't care what they think. and i'm there because i AM trying to be healthy and in shape. you have to start somewhere ya know.

so who cares about that jerk and what other people think. do this for yourself and think about how good you will feel about yourself during this time.


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## pretty_94134 (Nov 29, 2005)

Sweetie I am so sorry to hear what you are going thru. But it will get better. You have yo look into yourself and decide what you want and, as hard it will be, do not let others opinions drive what it is you do with yourself. There are so many diets you can try but there is one I find ez to stick to. Look into it. It may help you get out of this rut that you are in. It is called body for life. If you follow it, it works. I have recently fallen off but I am def. jumping back in and the work out regimen for this is really ez to follow and you will not spend a whole lot of time in the gym getting to the body that you desire. We can all sit here and type to you what you can do, what you need to do, what you should do, but in the end, it all comes down to you.


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## jennycateyez (Nov 29, 2005)

wow ur sis lost alot of weight , how did she do it?


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## MaraNFla (Nov 29, 2005)

A typical meal would of been

breakfast, one piece of toast with low cal, butter or low cal, jam. 2 egg whites scrambles in low cal, butter and fruit.

Lunch, a sandwich with no fat bologna, or low fat lunchmeat, luttuce tomatoe, mustard, serving of WOW chips, pickles all the pickles I want, no calories  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" /> Sometimes half a sandwich with a bowl of low cal, soup. Or half a veggi sandwich, from Subway, and WOW chips.

Dinner, lean meat, salad with low cal, low fat dressing, I like Kraft french! veggies, like green beans, mixed veggies, anything low cal,

for snacks I would eat popcorn, with spray butter, pretty good! Low cal, puddings, jello, cream soda float, &lt;diet cream soda, with a scoop of low cal, icecream. I never cooked in butter or oil, always roasted or baked, if I wanted fry's I baked them. I could eat things like a hamburger from fast food, no cheese, and add lots of toppings. 3 tacos from Taco bell, low cheese, pizza with pepperoni. The key is to measure everything at first till you get an idea of what a serving is, count every calorie. And if you have extra calories left, gosh eat a cookie, or a candybar. The diet is not for everyone, because 1000 is low! 1500 is the norm, but I wanted that one day off!


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## jennycateyez (Nov 29, 2005)

umm that sounds good, maybe i will give it a try, thank you.


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## MACGoddess (Nov 30, 2005)

Quite honestly Mara, that is a GREAT diet... Graduated from University of FL with a Nutrition/Dietetics major, and that is a great plan to follow! I am also a HUGE advocate of the "cheat day." Mentally, this day is VERY important, bc it makes you feel like you are not so structured that if you fall of the wagon for a day or a meal then you are done with.

People who don't have a cheat day usually end up quitting thier diets... GREAT job hun! :clap:clap:clap


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## karrieann (Nov 30, 2005)

Sexxy and you ARE!!! As you can see, there are many ladies here who know what you are dealing with. It is sad that there are people who can be so cruel and tactless. But when you seek it out there are so many more people who are sensitive and caring and kind. Try to focus on them.

You are truly to be commended on taking care of your depression. I am going through that situation myself at this very moment, so *you are my hero!* Thank you for telling your story. That means a lot to me.

I used to weigh over 275lbs. I am now at 160 and have kept it off for 10 years. I certainly didn't want to go to a gym either at 275+. I had tried tapes but they were difficult for me and I lived in an upstairs apartment and thought the neighbors might not like me jumping around. Back then it was all about high impact, not these great low impact options that are available now. So what I did was buy myself an exercise machine called a Health Rider. They used to have infommercials all the time. It's almost looks like you are riding a mechanical bull but it is you making it move by pushing with your legs and pulling with your arms. I would do that in my apartment watching David Letterman at night. I'd get tired and tell myself just keep going until the next commercial break. I would get to the commercial and often would keep going through the commercials. And that is all I did. But then people at work started commenting that I looked like I was losing weight and I thought, hmmm, maybe if I stop eating Burger King every single day (and I was at that point) and be a bit more thoughtful about what I was eating maybe my results would increase. And of course they did. It's like Liz said, once you start to see some results you get addicted to the feeling of being in control of your body. You feel strong and it has been a way of battling depression for me too. I don't always want to exercise and lately I haven't. But what often works to get me going when I don't want to is to tell myself I only have to workout for 10 mins. That's it. Just ten mins. And more often than not, I find that I am feeling better and continue on for 20 or 40 or 60. But even if I don't, I did my 10 and I am proud of that. I did what I said I was going to.

I hope all of these personal stories help you. You are not alone ever. Not on MUT. This really is the best group of people. Lots of support is here! And again, thank you for telling your story, because it is just what I needed to hear. 

****big giant hug****


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## Liz (Nov 30, 2005)

just walking and cutting out a lot of carbs. not totally sure what she eats now since i don't live near them anymore. but she doesn't eat rice or bread or sweets anymore.


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