# Will he look past this?



## SkinCareJunky (Oct 17, 2008)

hey everybody






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I recently got engaged to this wonderfulllll guy and everything seems perfect except that I'm feeling uneasy about a few things. I have something called pcos (polycystic ovarian syndrome) and it's wrecked havoc on me both physically and mentally (though I know things could always be worse). I have had problems with my weight and have developed severe acne along with all the other things that come along with pcos. The acne is really getting to me and topical treatments don't seem to work since the root cause is mainly internal. My fiance has never seen me without makeup..I always layer on a good amount whenever we're together and he always tells me..oh it's not so bad..and don't worry..i would love you no matter what your skin looked like. Still, he's never seen me without the makeup..i'm just paranoid perhaps..but i'm afraid he'll think i'm ugly once he marries me and sees me without makeup. I wonder if he'll have the same cheerful attitude once he sees me as I really am. Do any of you have severe acne and are currently in relationships?..what's it like for you?


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## ~Ms.August~365 (Oct 17, 2008)

I don't really have acne, but I do have a few scars from popping the occasional pimple. My boyfriend doesn't focus on that, honestly he thinks I am the most beautiful woman he's seen.... flaws and all. You're engaged to this man, he obviously harbors feelings for you that go far beyond what you look like with or without makeup. Sometimes I feel we can be our own worst enemy. But I doubt this will be a deal breaker for your fiance'. Congratulations and best wishes to the two of you!


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## pinksugar (Oct 17, 2008)

I agree with Ms August. If I were you I would explain how uncomfortable I felt about it and see if you can't have a date at home with minimal makeup, then you can work up to being bare-faced! it might take a while but if you are going to marry him, you have to trust him enough to feel comfortable being without makeup. If he truly loves you of course he's not going to run away, lol

Congrats and best wishes too!


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## Adrienne (Oct 17, 2008)

Very good advice so far. Being engaged is a big thing so I really doubt he decided to marry you if he had any doubt in his mind.


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## Aprill (Oct 17, 2008)

I dont see why he would have a problem with your face without makeup? If that is even a notion in your head, you may want to reevaluate your relationship. For better or for worse.....sickness and in health.....makeup no makeup....


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## magneticheart (Oct 17, 2008)

If he's a good guy he won't give a stuff what you look like under the make-up. He'll know that you're gorgeous on the inside and on the outside too.

Imo if you guys are engaged he's very serious about you


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## katana (Oct 17, 2008)

In this day and age, men are very aware of all the effort it takes to look good, and all the photoshopping that is done to models.

I don't really think that any guys expect real life women to look like catwalk hotties 24/7.

If anything I think him seeing you without all your make-up, would make him more appreciative of what you go through to appear flawless to him.

That's how it worked out for my BF and I. I used to be very insecure without make-up and wouldn't think of even geting the mail without concecalor and foundation.....but there will be a time when he will see you fresh faced out of he shower, or ready for bed, or very ill and unable to prep your self, and you know what...you'll still be the same girl he's engaged too. Make up or Not.

He knows one day you will be old, wrinkly, frail and acne free....and he'll still love you the same. No one stays young, and perfect forever, that's part of the beauty of growing old together.

Totally not to scare you though....my grandma (who has passed away) told me that when she was first married (20-30yrs old apprx) she knew a japanese lady who was very much an old school geisha, who would rise early and go to bed late every single night, just so she could appear in full on make up for her husband. After years of marriage, he saw her one morning without make-up, and they divorced that year! I'm no even joking, I swear it is true. I'm not saying it was her face that scared him, but it sure scared me into, sleeping in my make-up when staying at a boy's house!!

Seriously though, your man will love you no matter what.

Rosie had a neat idea, in having a date night at home in minimal make-up to start!


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## Dragonfly (Oct 18, 2008)

Have you been to a dermatologist to see if any medication like Accutane can help? I have had cystic acne and tons of scarring from 10 to 35. I discovered Accutane and Dermabrasion - now I am happy with my complexion.

Have you ever told him you are very sensitive about your complexion? If not, you might want to have a short conversation

so that he is aware of your feeling.

Your boyfriend loves you. He is more concerned with your heart and your spirit and how you will look in his arms when you are 75.


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## Anthea (Oct 18, 2008)

Love has to be more than skin deep and I am sure if he truly loves you, your complexion under the makeup is the least of his worries. Like Rosie says, try to break him into seeing you without it. If he is of any worth it won't worry him. Best of luck, congrats on your engagement


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## Johnnie (Oct 18, 2008)

I agree with Rosie and Aprill. Try and start at a minimal and work it down from there. Most of the women on here, that I know of, have said their SO/husbands prefer their natural beauty but also like them with it



I was on the same boat as you are in a few years back and it was hard for me to let up too. I eventually did because it got tiring keeping up with appearances. So, I wore less and less then it came to the point where I'd go some days without any makeup on. I told him how I felt too and he said, " I wish you'd be like this more often"....hehe! So sweet! Anyway, I hope you gain the courage to look passed this and be happy that you're getting married! Yay! Best of luck!


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## SkinCareJunky (Oct 18, 2008)

Hey!! I just wanted to thank everyone for their reassuring words (and stories...lol) and well wishes..



I think it's made me feel alot better..especially since I know he loves me..and that maybe I'm the one who needs to look past this and just focus on more important things.

Dragonfly, I have been on all sorts of topicals and accutane was something I never wanted to look into..though it may be my only option at this point.

So, I did end up talking to him tonight and we discussed my skin..and he also has managed to convince me for the time being..that he doesn't care about what my skin looks like and that i need to stop beating myself up over that..and that date at home doesn't sound like a bad idea..so i think i'm gonna try that too.



thanks again everyone


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## Johnnie (Oct 18, 2008)

Btw, I know what goes into your body has a lot to do with what happens to the skin but I can also say that you can 'help' control it topically too. Maybe you should try ACV if you haven't tried already. Ever since I started using it I don't go a day without it. My skins the best it's ever been



. Hope this helps!


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## pinksugar (Oct 18, 2008)

ooh I forgot to say, my close friend says her boyfriend PREFERS her with no makeup!

he also prefers her in tracksuit pants and a singlet rather than dressed up with heels and perfect hair and makeup.

It seems a lot of guys are like this, maybe your boyf/fiance will be too!

glad to hear you spoke to him


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## chantelle8686 (Oct 18, 2008)

oh im so glad after reading this thread that ur are slowly breaking that wall down...

I have been with my bf for 5 yrs now...and he has never once told me i was ugly...i got my preiod when i was 9 so groing up till i was in yr 7...so 13/14yrs old i had terrible acne, i had the red blitchy skin and it was just horrible and no matter wat i did it would go...i now have horrible scars on the side of my face, and i have uneven skin tone and blemishes .....i want to get microdermabration and i want to get lasik to my skin...but even with all my flaws i have tend to embrace them, i dont wear heavy makeup as that just makes things worse, it irritates things alot more!!

Have u tried Mary Kay skin care at all??

to this day i still get acne but the odd breakout, but they are horrid.....and i understand having ur condition it changes things, try drinkin some as muchjwater as u can to hydrate the skin, try and avoid picking pimples etc, it is only advised u only do this after u open ur pores with hot/warm water...


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## SkinCareJunky (Oct 18, 2008)

Hey guys



thanks for responses again.

jmgjgm623, I tried avc some time back and I think it broke me out even more and so that kind of discouraged me from continuing its use..but perhaps i'll try it again..and this time..i'll dilute it with water.

pinksugar,



..i hope he prefers me without any makeup..that would be a dream come true..lol..and i usually dress simply around him..hopefully i'll ease into the no makeup part too.

chantelle8686..your boyfriend sounds sweet too..



yeah i've been drinking alot of water these days..and have been off of sodas and juices..i think orange juice also contributes to the acne as well..well no more of that for me. i've tried mary kay products as well..and i think i remember them irritating my skin a bit..my skins just weird..i think i'm sensitive to just about everything.


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