# Help Me!! (a really long rant!!)



## tinktink22 (Mar 30, 2007)

UPDATE!!!!!!!

so i just kinda wanted to put it out there. i spent part of my spring break out at my friends house. i just needed to get away and when im with my friend and his 2 brothers i feel at home. kinda like a mom lol. ive always been the mom for the football team track team frat. what ever im there. so anyway. we kinda had a little break through i think he finally realized that we can talk and i dont bite lol. we've been talking everyday since i came back. he was really great while i was there and after i came back. so i just wanted to say that things are back on a steady plane. i just feel bad cuz i know im trying to get my feelings to kinda slow down and ill slowly start seperating myself. but you know what. if he makes the effort i wont just walk away. theres a perfect friendship in all of this. and i cant just let that go. well i just kinda wanted to update. oh and a little secret about my trip that i gotta tell someone(which i cant cant tell my bff cuz shes his ex  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" /> ) is the 10 times people asked if we were bf and gf. we get that alot and i kinda like it (so kill me lol!!) thanxx for listening (or not) my mutsters!!!! :heart:

ugh im so mad at myself right now. i have a bestfriend a guy. yah he's the love of my life. like id marry him in a new york minute if i could. he's perfect. i sit back and watch these stupid ass girls break his heart every 5 minutes. to him im one of the guys. i always yell at him and tell him guys dont have DD''s lol well i act like a guy around him. i dont care what i look like when im around him, we have personal convos that he would have with his guy friends. he doesnt have any friends that are girls. like good friends. its usually because he severs all ties with ex's and all their friends. well besides everyother day that im a guy to him i go through the phase that i am a girl around him. he freaks out!!!! like today. ive seen alot of him this last week. i live in la and he's about 300 miles away. he's been here for my b day and ive been talking to him a little bit more lately. well i told him id go and visit him this next week during my spring break. i was reaaaaaaaly looking forward to it. not just to be with him but to get AWAY from my family. im dying to move out and i just want to relax. sooooo i text him and he tells me he's not going to be there half the days that i wanna see him. so my girl side kicks in. i say whatever ill figure something else out. then he calls me right when he gets that text. he NEVER calls. i didnt mean to be a b*itch. i just delt with my mother bad mouthing all of my dad's family and i was pissed and it kind of went out all on him. well i e mail him that im sorry for the way i acted. i get an e mail back that he thought i was trying to dig up drama that wasnt there.:10: at that point i was really ashamed!!! i couldnt believe it. and when i switch on this girly attitude towards him it doesnt turn off. you know mean girls and word vomit???  thats what happens to me. i just cannot shut my f*cking mouth. and i know he gets frustrated cuz he hates drama. and dont get me wrong so do i. n e way i had to sign off mypace cuz i kept on making it worse. i hate days like this. i feel like i have to make it better. im ready to call him but i kow ill make it as bad as it can be. i hate days like these. i told him that once a year my girly side comes out and i reek havoc. i hate it but i cant control myself. last time he left to go out of state for 2 weeks and he didnt tell me. when he got back we went to the movies. the whole movie both of us we're squirming to just gouge eachothers eyes out. we got out and he told me i was acting like a b*tch ( and he would never say something like that to me unless i really was a b*tch. he wont even say it jokingly) i turned around and called him an assh*le and said he sucks for leaving and not telling me. issoff: mind you 5 other movies let out at the same time. imagine all the people standing around. yah this is what hapens once a year with my bestfriend and i just dont know how to stop myself. i get flustered and freak?!?!?! ahhhhhhhhhh :banghead:


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## han (Mar 30, 2007)

wow! calm down girl its gonna be alright.. do you have feelings for this guy like more than friends, and does he know


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## tinktink22 (Mar 31, 2007)

im still frustraded can you believe it?? i have feelings for him like i said above id marry him. he's that guy you sit back and watch blow his time on other stupid a$$ girls. he knows i like him and alot. i cried when i had to tell him his gf was cheating on him with like 2 other guys?! but he thinks of me as a friend. no more and no less. he'll never see me the i want him to. ive cried over it a million times but ive come to term with it ive accepted that this is all that going to happen. but day like this when this stuff happens i feel like a little girl with a stupid crush =(


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## Jesskaa (Mar 31, 2007)

> im still frustraded can you believe it?? i have feelings for him like i said above id marry him. he's that guy you sit back and watch blow his time on other stupid a$$ girls. he knows i like him and alot. i cried when i had to tell him his gf was cheating on him with like 2 other guys?! but he thinks of me as a friend. no more and no less. he'll never see me the i want him to. ive cried over it a million times but ive come to term with it ive accepted that this is all that going to happen. *but day like this when this stuff happens i feel like a little girl with a stupid crush =([/*quote]
> you feel like me.
> 
> :scared:


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## sweetnsexy6953 (Mar 31, 2007)

Has he or anyone else came out and told you that he only likes you as a friend? Maybe he does have feelings for you that are more than just friends feelings and he doesnt wanna tell you. He could think that you didnt like him in that way and so hes too shy to come out and tell you.


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## Aprill (Mar 31, 2007)

I probably would not pursue him if I were you and let me tell you why. You are watching other feamles run over him, everytime he gets ran over, it leaves a scar. He is going to be so full of scars that you are going to really lose it trying to mop up the sh** other females left behind.

If you like him, and you want to be with him, tell him. If he rejects you, you may want to loosen up on your friendship. But that is something that you want to do very soon, because the longer you wait, and the more he gets emotionally ran over, the worse it is going to be on you whenever he does decide that he likes you and wants to be with you.


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## tinktink22 (Mar 31, 2007)

> sorry to hear that?! how are you dealing with it?
> 
> he's told me himself. but heres the thing. his dad isnt very fond of me. we were prom dates and we both moved away to the same city for college. like a block away from eachother. his dad threw a fit and thought i was trying to tie him down or what not and there was alot more behind his thoughts. so even if he did like me he would just dismiss it because his dad is so freaking controlling he'd be too scared to admit it. honestly im scared of his dad. but recently he stood up to him and told him we're only friends. so his dad let up. but n e way if he did like me he'd think its a waste of time to tell me beause he wouldnt be able to act upon it
> 
> ive told him i think 2 or 3 times. and he hasnt rejected me he's just said ok!?! but i think sadly i get satisfaction everytime he get run over. i can be there for him and i like it. it sad i know.


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## Aprill (Mar 31, 2007)

well I would suggest that you not go there


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## tinktink22 (Mar 31, 2007)

sorry i dont get what you mean? i barely talk to him since we moved away from eachother. like we'll have spurts where well talk alot but mostly its once every 3 months we see and talk to eachother.


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## Aprill (Mar 31, 2007)

oh, I thought you guys were around each other or talked often


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## tinktink22 (Mar 31, 2007)

no thats the thing. we moved away from eachother about 2 years ago. which is def what i needed!!! i got over him. but the problem that came up was that no body is honest with him. like his last gf was a B***********TCH. was rude to everybody he knew and seperated him from his other bestfriend. no body would confront him about it. his brothers would beg me to tell him. i just hate it when im the girl that likes him the most but causes the most pain as well.i just hate being the only one thatll speak up?! i told him she was being disrespectful to his friends but i let the rest of it play out on its own. they broke up 3 weeks ago.


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## magosienne (Mar 31, 2007)

you are honest, that's being friends mean. sometimes you need a friend to tell you the truth, even when a lie would more conforting. it's good you just told him and let things happen. you're also here when he needs you, so maybe he's just not ready for a relationship with you? i'd say wait, don't rush it.


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## Dragonfly (Mar 31, 2007)

I have a different spin:

Maybe he knows that you like him and he doesn't want to date you because

he thinks he might hurt you.

You have seen him be mistreated by girls, but perhaps he has hurt just as many others, and keeps those well hidden from you.

When I was young, I avoided nice guys because I didn't want to hurt them.

I only dated a** holes and jerks because I figured that if they pulled any crap, I could throw it right back at them.

Nice guys - I had too much respect for. So I only kept them as friends, even if I was attracted to them.


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## Harlot (Mar 31, 2007)

Sorry dude, but let it go. Ive been in your shoes before but I would never go through with it and try to make more than a friendship regardless of what I felt. Im fully aware of "The Rule". Which basically states that opposite gender best frienships should never be more than platonic. Although guys sometimes say things to prevent so and so and actually mean something else, guys will MOST likely tell you the truth straight foward. If he says "Ok" after you told him you like him, it just means that its ok to him that you have stronger feelings and he wont take it wierd, but he wont do anything about it or take the friendship at a deeper level because your just a dude to him.....only prettier.

I happen to usually fall in this catagory but Im fine with it because eventually my infactuation will leave. Id rather have a best friend than have him as a boyfriend and lose him because of stupid relationship disputes. When it comes to relationships, people always act differently, it wont be the same. Most of my friends consist of guys and I pretty much think like one so I know alot about "guy" ways. Im not guaranteeing my take on your situation ( hey, Im not god) but I can really asure you.


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## han (Mar 31, 2007)

i would let it go too seems like your feelings and emotions are kinda geting in the way of your friendship and of course your always gonna feel none of those girls are good enough for him because in your eyes your the one for him, i think you should try and focus on other friendships and love intrest with someone who can like/want you back


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## Maysie (Mar 31, 2007)

Wow thats rough...I think that when you're in a friendship with a guy and one of you has strong romantic feelings for the the other it's definitely always going to be uncomfortable and frustrating at times. I think as long as you feel that way you're going to be left feeling unfulfilled. That sucks because you're so close to him as a friend too, but maybe if you just distanced yourself for awhile...maybe even 6 months and then came back it would be better. I would probably tell your friend about this decision too just so he's not confused or hurt when you're not there anymore...and hey it just might make him think about all of the stuff he misses about you!


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## pinksugar (Apr 1, 2007)

hmm. I think if this guy wanted to make a move, then he would. I know how hard it is being in a situation watching someone you care about making a fool out of themselves by screwing around with the wrong people, but you can't force someone to stop being a retard.

I say, I know it will be hard, but cut your loses. If this guy is as wonderful as you think, then surely he will realise what he's missing and realise you're more than just one of the guys.

I agree with Aprill, you are only hurting yourself by spending time on him, and the longer you wait, the more he'll just see you as one of the guys unless you break the pattern.

I hope I don't sound too harsh  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" /> I hope everything works out, I guess I just think he sounds like a jerk because you obviously like him, and he's ****ing you around


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## Harlot (Apr 1, 2007)

In my opinion, I think thats a bit of an overstatement. Guys are simple creatures, actually a little too simple. :eusa_whistle: Hes not screwing you around, I mean, your his best friend and he trusts you  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" /> Like I said, he just wont do anything about it cause thats just not how he feels, but wont at all seem affected by it. Try to distance your self, like the mentions above. Remember, its better to have a best friend than losing the person after a relationship.


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## tinktink22 (Apr 1, 2007)

i know what you mean about the rule. we've had it stuck in our face a million times. see any where we go together alone people tell us we're a cute ouple andhow sweet we are with eachother. we ALWAYS correct them. then they go on to tell us how a girl and a guy being bestfriends never works out. so ive heard every bylaw of that rule a million times. but then when i hear people ask about us being a couple i wonder what'll be different if we did go out?? besides physical stuff?? but i know what you mean id hate to have akward moment between us because we dated and something stupid ame between us. and if we did go out his family would get between it. his dad is already scared that if anything happened it'd get too serious too fast?!

i dont think my emotions are getting in the way more than really once a year that i flip on him. i never have put my feelings out on the table in a way that he wouldnt be able to be normal around me. and i know i alway think the girls he goes for arent worth it. but it hurts more when i find out they really arent worth it and they screw him over i feel worse. ive gotten over making the girls out to be losers in my mind cuz they always seem to prove that themselves :rotfl: but i know what you mean i def need somebody to give me the same i give them.

lol i wish he missed me!! see even when he does miss me he doesnt exactly express it in the best way. but i have had 3 or 4 month breaks and he'll call me just to make sure im alive. :wacko: he just doesnt know what to say but he'll hint that i havent called or e mailed him anything. but i thinka break is long over due for us. and he usually kinda mopes when i ignore him or dive deep into my own life but i always kinda give him the tough sh*t routine and he gets over it. those are the days when he realizes i cant be there alllll the time

i try and break the pattern every once in a while. he kinda doesnt know what to do though. like we'll go to a party and ill dress up and talk to guys and he'll shadow me. he doesnt know how to handle it. he thinks he has to at different around me or im trying to make him like me. so i just have stopped trying to make him see me more of a girl. its funny to see him get confused every once in a while. youd seriously think he just saw one of his guy friends walk out in drag!! :vogel:

ive never thought of it that way?! cuz i dont know his whole life story. there probably are things that i dont know about him?!


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## magosienne (Apr 1, 2007)

maybe there are some things you don't know about him (well, can you know everything about a person? we all have our secrets), but reading you, though i'm certainly in no position to judge, it just looks like if you want something more between you and him, you'll have to wait. i don't know what his feelings are, but it sounds like he has some unresolved issues or simply don't know how to deal with his feelings, whatever they are.

what i mean is he'll have to make the first move, because you've already told him your feelings, and you don't want to loose him by doing too much.

i think it would be good too for you if you could hang out with other friends, let him be. i guess it's stupid to say that, but only time can tell what will happen.

don't be sad or don't loose hope just do other things instead of longing for him.


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## pinksugar (Apr 1, 2007)

wow, Magosienne that is some seriously good advice right there. I agree with her, hehe!

Best of luck regardless. Either you'll get over the attraction, he'll make a move or the issue will be resolved one way or another! be patient and know that everything works out for the best!


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## Ashley (Apr 1, 2007)

I agree with everyone. Just relax and take it easy now. You've already made your feelings clear to him and if he chooses not to act upon it, then accept it. I think your feelings are causing you to get flustered when there is no reason to be--it seems like that incident where you had your "girly side" come out was a bigger deal to you than to him. He seemed to let it go and you're still worried about it. Relax! If he does have feelings for you, one little hiccup won't keep him away.  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />


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## tinktink22 (Apr 13, 2007)

im waiting!! lol your def right and ive gotten over the fact that i cant be the one to do anything?!


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