# The Top 5 Breakup Cliches of All Time



## Darla (Mar 14, 2009)

*The Top 5 Breakup Cliches of All Time*


by EMandLO.com,
source 







While every breakup is a clichÃ© to some extent (did you really think you were the first person in the history of relationships to be dumped for a RealDoll?), there are certain phrases a dumper can use that have been uttered so many times in so many breakups that they now convey about as much emotion as noting, “Terrible weather we’re having for this time of year, eh?” The following top five clichÃ©d dumping lines are typically preceded by the all-time clichÃ© “We need to talk”:


_*“I love you but I’m not in love with you.”* Literal translation: I no longer find you attractive—if I ever did—and the thought of sleeping with you now repulses me. Please don’t cry._ 
_*“It’s not you, it’s me.”* Literal translation: You want to be in this relationship and I don’t._
_*“I’m not ready for a relationship right now.”* Literal translation: I’m not ready for a relationship with YOU. This is known as the fortune cookie rule.) You know how you’re always supposed to add “… in bed” onto the end of the fortune that came in the cookie with your lo mein? Well, with breakup excuses, try adding “… with you” to see if the dumper’s excuse/explanation makes more sense. For example, “It’s not you, it’s me … with you.” “I’m too depressed… with you.” If that just gives you the blues instead of giving you clarity, you could always try adding on “… in bed” instead, just to make yourself feel better. “It’s just not working for me … in bed.” “You’re great, I’m an idiot … in bed.” “I think we should just be friends … in bed”_
_*“You want more than I’m prepared to give.”* Literal translation: You want more than I’m prepared to give to YOU. (Ditto on the Fortune Cookie Test.)_
_*“I think we’re just meant to be great friends.”* Literal translation: I’d like to keep sleeping with you if that’s okay with you._
 While no one ever wants to be handed one of these clichÃ©s word-for-word (it’s like being dumped by a Hallmark card), the basic concept—to avoid hurtful specifics and maybe even make the dumpee feel good about themselves—is benevolent. So if you’re about to dump someone for one of the above five reasons, do them a favor and put the phrase in your own words—it’ll make them feel like you stewed over this decision for more than five minutes. Sure, they’ll probably beg you for specifics, but don’t give in! In the long-run, this breakup will be a whole lot smoother if you can stick to the script. A particularly astute dumpee may ask, somewhat sarcastically, “So basically what you’re saying is, it’s not me, it’s you?” Or worse, “So basically, what you’re saying is, the thought of sleeping with me now repulses you?” Be warned: They’re just trying to trap you into giving up more details. Don’t do it! Because while your ex will whine for a few days to their friends about how “lame” it was to be dumped with a top-five clichÃ©, it’s nothing compared to how one tiny, specific, ugly detail will rattle around in their head for the next decade.Can't get enough of breakups? Check out EMandLO.com's Top 6 Breakup Lies. And for even _more_ on breakups, please see our guide to dumping and being dumped, “Buh Bye.”


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## SewAmazing (Mar 14, 2009)

The one I always use is: "We are two good people, for two other good people".


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## Adrienne (Mar 14, 2009)

Good one Sewamazing


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## magneticheart (Mar 14, 2009)

The translations made me laugh, can you imagine how gobsmacked someone would be if you said one of the translations to them?


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## Darla (Mar 14, 2009)

If you liked the translations here is more

*WHAT GUYS SAY AND WHAT THEY MEAN *

They say: She's kinda cute

They mean: I wanna bang her til I'm blue

They say: I dunno if I like her

They mean: She won't blow me

They say: I need you

They mean: My hand is tired

They say: I had her

They mean: I had wet dreams about her all week

They say: I really wanna get to know you better

They mean: So we can do what I tell my friends we do already

They say: How do I compare with all your other BFs?

They mean: Is my penis really that small?

They say: You're the only girl I've ever cared about

They mean: You're the only girl that hasn't rejected me

They say: I want you back

They mean: ...for tonight anyway

They say: We've been through so much together

They mean: If not for you, I never would've lost my virginity

They say: I miss you so much

They mean: I'm so horny that my roommate is starting to look good

They say: No, I don't wanna dance right now

They mean: Shoot! She'll know that I have a hard-on!

They say: The break-up should not start for another few hours~

They mean: I wanna have sex a few more times

They say: I'm different from all the other guys

They mean: I'm not cir***cised


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## Bec688 (Mar 14, 2009)

HAHA oh Darla! Just what I needed, a good laugh!


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## pinksugar (Mar 14, 2009)

lol. These are def. Cliche!


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## HairEgo (Mar 15, 2009)

Originally Posted by *SewAmazing* /img/forum/go_quote.gif I one I always use is: "We are two good people, for two other good people". Oh man, that is gonna be my new saying....thats brilliant!!


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## Karren (Mar 15, 2009)

Number six..... I don't love you but I love to wear your clothes!!!


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