# My self esteem is totally crushed right now



## krazykid90 (Jan 1, 2009)

During our new years party last night my younger sister told me I look like a man and her boyfriend said that my fiance is skinny, but I'm built like a horse. The worst part is no one seems to understand why I'm upset. They all think its a joke. Well, it was very hurtful to me! My younger sister knows I was diangosed as clinically depressed, and she doesn't seem to care that she has totally crushed my self esteem. I don't think I can ever forgive her for saying something so hurtful. I could have said a ton of things about hoe she looks, but I didn't she totally came out of nowhere and really hurt my feelings.


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## emily_3383 (Jan 1, 2009)

Well she was an ass for saying that. Sometimes family members think they are funny when they are being mean. It was big of you for not saying anything back but im not. I probably would have said something back but i always have something to say.


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## krazykid90 (Jan 1, 2009)

I had things on the tip of my tongue that I realy wanted to say, but I figured then we'd both be the bad guys, so I decided to walk away while she still looks like the bad guy.

No one seems to understand why it hurt my feelings so much except my older sister. She agrees it was a very hurtful thing to say, especially since I am very self conscious about how I look. I work in a stock room and there have been times that I've been mistaken for a guy until they get closer and really see me. I've mentioned it to my younger sister, and then she turned around and used it against me.


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## NYchic (Jan 1, 2009)

Maybe she is jealous of you? Ever thought about that? Of the attention you get because you are depressed?

People with low self esteem are usually the ones who pick on others because they aren't happy with themselves. So maybe she has a low self esteem too but handles it by making other people feel bad.

You don't look like a guy to me. But if it bothers you so much, grow your hair out long!


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## cindyks625 (Jan 1, 2009)

Well from your pic here - you certainly don't look like a guy. But family members always seem to say the most hurtful things sometimes and you took the "high road" and didn't respond in kind. Good for you, and lil sis sounds like she has some issues of her own to deal with. Hang in there and hugs to you.


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## krazykid90 (Jan 1, 2009)

I used to have waist length hair. I don't get botehred when it happens at work because it is mostly guys who were in the warehouse and I dress very masculine because the clothes is cheap and I don't mind if it gets wrecked. I never get mistaken as a guy when I am dressed normally, and when I go into work dressed normally I sure get lots of compliments from the guys.

I guess it doesn't matter to me so much what she said, just that she took something she knows I'm insecure about and used it against me. For instance, I know she is nervous about her weight, her rosacea and the way her arms look, so I would NEVER use them against her no matter how mad I was at her. Last night was tempting though, that's why I walked away.

My self esteem is feeling better, I talked with my fiance about it over MSN (he's in Dubai with his family right now), and he reminded me how pretty I am. I'm just really burned that my sister would be so cruel.


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## daer0n (Jan 1, 2009)

She is crazy for saying that, i don't think you look like a man at all, sounds to me like she is jealous of you and gets off by saying that to you. You look very pretty in your avatar picture and i dont think you look like a man at all, and by what i can tell you have beautiful skin too.






If she always has cruel stuff to say to you that just means that she is most likely jealous of you for some reason, so i wouldn't take her comments seriously, more than that i would ask her to stop being so rude, after all she is your sister and she shouldn't treat you that way.


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## krazykid90 (Jan 1, 2009)

Awww thanks for the nice words everyone, I'm feeling much better now.


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## Dragonfly (Jan 1, 2009)

I'm curious if your sister had a few drinks to build up the liquid courage?

I agree that sometimes the worst criticism comes from family members.

I think you are a lovely girl - don't let others get you down.

And I would say something to your sister - unless she is a complete moron, she needs to know that she hurt your feelings.


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## krazykid90 (Jan 1, 2009)

She knows that she hut my feelings because she called my older sister to talk to me for her, but all my older sister ended up saying was that she agreed my sister was being cruel.

She had one glass of wine in her, and that had been a couple hours before she said what she did so I don't think liquid courage had anything to do with it. My fiance pointed out that I was friends with her boyfriend before tehy started dating, and that I tend to make lots of jokes and be the joker in the parties. He suspects that she was jelous that he was laughing at my jokes and she wanted to make a joke about me to try and get attention.


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## magneticheart (Jan 1, 2009)

I think she was totally out of order for saying that. Like other people have mentioned it could be linked with jealousy 'cos from your avatar you so do NOT look like a man!

NYchic said exactly what I was thinking, about how people who aren't confident themselves tend to undermine other people to make themselves look and feel better.

Next time you see her you should just let her know that whilst she thinks what she said was a joke, you don't see it that way and she has no right to speak about the way you look because I bet she wouldn't like it if you spoke about her like that.

I really hope you feel a bit better about it soon


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## pinksugar (Jan 1, 2009)

well that was really rude and inappropriate! I don't think you look like a guy at all! maybe give your sister some time to realise what she's done and why she's hurt you... I hate families arguing with each other


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## Joan_CD (Jan 1, 2009)

Honey you took the high road and you should be so proud of that. Sometimes people talk before they think and just want to be in the spotlight. I think that holds true of our younger siblings who sometimes think they are in our shadow. You look absolutely adorable and don't think for a second what she said has any merit!!!!


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## Darla (Jan 2, 2009)

that was a stupid comment about your looks. It seems family members can make the most cutting comments. I hope you can see that your self esteem should not have to suffer.


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## S. Lisa Smith (Jan 4, 2009)

Glad you are feeling better. Your younger sister was an ass, you look like a woman to me! As everyone has said, you are correct and a better person for not lashing out! Have a happy new year!!


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## laurafaye (Jan 4, 2009)

Gah my younger sister is exactly the same. I agree with everyone else really,she's probably just saying it because she's jealous and saying nasty things to you might make her feel better. Don't let it get you down, you seriously don't look like a man.


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## ticki (Jan 4, 2009)

i'm a guy and for what it's worth, i think you look very pretty. don't let that little snot get you down! some people have no clue... you're a better person than me. if that happened to me, i definitely would have retorted.


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## ShesAutomatic (Jan 7, 2009)

Wow, thats awful and just so un-nessisary. You look NOTHING like a boy to me:S So I don't understand where that comment came from, but I can see why you'd be upset. My sister would never make a comment like that about me, but my brother once told me I look reaaally horrible without makeup on, kinda killed my self esteem aswell.


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## Adrienne (Jan 7, 2009)

Well that was completely rude and inappropriate, even if she thinks it was just a joke. You're not manly (how that could even be when looking at your picture) and you're really pretty. Haven't you always had problems with this one sister? It sounds like is just self-centered and jealous. Otherwise, why would she keep trying to mess with you?


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## Browneyes123 (Feb 14, 2009)

You don't look like a guy to me. And if you dress normally and guys hit on you than what is the problem? You are feminine. Any woman dressed up like a dude in baggy clothes and timbs is gonna be mistaken for a dude because that kind of clothing is not associated with feminity. You're fine just relax sweety


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## kylieteng (Feb 19, 2009)

Don't worry, in life you can't satisfy everyone. If you don't believe in yourself, who will


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## candygalore (Feb 19, 2009)

honey you are very beautifull and if i was your bff and you came to me and told me what your sister say i will seriously **** slap her *** and do a madea on her *** im sorry but i can't stand rude,jugedmental people or people that just think they are funny when they are just being mean hell to the no gilrfriend that was wrong of her for saying that ummmmm don't let me start owww lord don't ever let anybody bring you down you have that power on you , if you wan someone to bring you down you have the rith to say hell to the no. so keep your head up ok.


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