# Yesterday I lost my Father....



## kittii (Aug 25, 2006)

This is not fair i am only 19 years old........i miss him so much i cant do this..........


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## Teresamachado (Aug 25, 2006)

I am so sorry


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## pinkbundles (Aug 25, 2006)

awww...i'm so sorry for your loss


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## SierraWren (Aug 25, 2006)

Oh I am so sorry to hear of your devastating loss!I honestly can think of nothing to say besides this, I have not yet had a parent pass. My sister was murdered when I was 12,and that was horribly sudden and traumatic and impossible: I stayed in a state of denial for months, then anger, finally grief(which lightens,but does last forever)then true acceptance I would not see her again on earth. Did your father die very suddenly?No kind of death is hardest, but sudden deaths may be the most dificult to accept.

There is a wonderful, recent thread on this board called:Losing a Parent, by Cuteliscous--lots of responses from women who have gone through that terribe parting. It's still on the board,I believe--please,look for it.

Other than that, I'm afraid I've said all I can, except that I will think of you and your father, and hope for your eventual healing. Hang in there.


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## Maja (Aug 25, 2006)

I'm very sorry for your loss! (((hugs)))


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## WhitneyF (Aug 25, 2006)

Oh my word, sweety I am so very sorry. I wish I could hug you right now because I can only imagine how insufficient words must be. I'll pray for you and your family.

If you'd like to tell us what happened we're most definitely all listening.

We MUTers love you sweety...


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## Little_Lisa (Aug 25, 2006)

Amber, i'm so sorry to hear of your loss. My mom died of pancreatic cancer when I was 21 and that was the hardest thing i've ever been through and I still miss her like it was yesterday. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers, sweetie.


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## Midgard (Aug 25, 2006)

I'm really sorry for your loss!


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## lynnda (Aug 25, 2006)

I am so sorry to hear of your loss.


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## Aquilah (Aug 25, 2006)

Awww, I'm so very sorry sweetie! I offer my deepest condolences and sympathy!


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## pieced (Aug 25, 2006)

You are hurting, and I'm sorry you had to go through this at the age of only 19. :hugs:...


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## Mari168 (Aug 25, 2006)

So sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself !

Marilyn


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## dixiewolf (Aug 25, 2006)

OMG. I am so sorry to hear the news. Losing my father when I was 11 was the hardest thing I have ever had to go through. I am not going to say I know how you feel, or all the stuff people say when someone close to you dies. I am not going to say all the stuff people say when someone close dies, b/c most of it is just not helpful. All I can say is, keep your other family close, the pain does ease in time even though it seems like it never will.


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## Pauline (Aug 25, 2006)

Awww i so so sorry to hear of your loss. There isn't a lot i can say to comfort you but we are all sending you big (((hugs))) and our sincere condolances.You are being a very brave girl. God Bless.


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## KimC2005 (Aug 25, 2006)

I'm so sorry for your loss, Amber..


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## CuTeLiCiOuS (Aug 25, 2006)

I am so sorry for your loss. I know it totally sucks and is defenitely unfair. Especially being 19 you are still a kid. And you need your parent. Just keep your head up, Don't let this effect your studies. Let yourself be. I pray to God to give you strenght.


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## -Liz- (Aug 25, 2006)

I'm very sorry for your loss, my prayrs are with you and your family, keep your head up sweetie


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## jennycateyez (Aug 25, 2006)

im so sorry!!!!! hope u feel better soon ((hugs))


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## ivette (Aug 25, 2006)

i'm sorry for your loss


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## eightthirty (Aug 25, 2006)

Amber, I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. Perhaps, you could share with us some of the good times you had with him in memory.


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## kittii (Aug 25, 2006)

I have known for awhile that my father wouldnt be around for much longer but I never thought it would come so soon. i have tried to prepare myself for this i have told myself we would be leaving me but when it comes down to it actually happening i dont think i was ever prepared. I mean how could you be? This is my Father my flesh and blood the man who created me. There is no preparing for that. My dad has been sick for years. It started with back pain and he was severily addicted to drugs and alcohol so he was on methodone and tons of other medications that he couldnt afford. he was on disability and without a place to call home. about 5 months ago my mother told me how sick my dad really was. He had emphsema cirrosis hep c and etc. This broke my heart because than i really knew he wouldnt be here for long. I guess he had been having chest pains all week and he ended up having a massive heart attack yesterday and called 911 he was gone before they got there.. My dad was a great man with a big heart i will forever miss him. thanks to everyone you are all so kind


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## eightthirty (Aug 25, 2006)

Originally Posted by *kittii* I have known for awhile that my father wouldnt be around for much longer but I never thought it would come so soon. i have tried to prepare myself for this i have told myself we would be leaving me but when it comes down to it actually happening i dont think i was ever prepared. I mean how could you be? This is my Father my flesh and blood the man who created me. There is no preparing for that. My dad has been sick for years. It started with back pain and he was severily addicted to drugs and alcohol so he was on methodone and tons of other medications that he couldnt afford. he was on disability and without a place to call home. about 5 months ago my mother told me how sick my dad really was. He had emphsema cirrosis hep c and etc. This broke my heart because than i really knew he wouldnt be here for long. I guess he had been having chest pains all week and he ended up having a massive heart attack yesterday and called 911 he was gone before they got there.. My dad was a great man with a big heart i will forever miss him. thanks to everyone you are all so kind My grandmother died of cirrhosis. Substance abuse is such a hard thing to deal with when it's a family member. My biological father, who I will love no matter what is a homeless alcoholic and drug addict (among other things). I haven't spoken to him in many years, but my love will not die. I know that his addictions have nothing to do with me. People can tell me all day that if he loved me....blah blah blah, but I know that substance addictions are much more than that. He has to love himself. My paternal family is full of alcoholics. It's a damn shame because they were all great, loving people. Alcoholics can function as regular people, believe or not (for those doubters). I understand how you feel in the sense that your father's time was limited. I feel the same way. Unfortunately, he's in position where I may not know when his life is taken. I've been so separated from that aspect of my life for so many years that I can only hope I cry like hell. Above all else, like you said, he is still my father, my flesh and blood. 
All I can say is live your life like he wanted you to live it. Happy that is. Hold your memories of him close to your heart and believe that he is in peace now. His body is rid of all the chemicals he once knew as a type of food and that he still loves you and is looking over you.

I don't think anyone can be prepared for the loss of a loved one, especially parents (or their own children). Stay strong and be there for your mother. I'm sure she needs you, too.

We're here for you if you need us!!

BIG HUGS!


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## makeupfreak72 (Aug 25, 2006)

Originally Posted by *Little_Lisa* Amber, i'm so sorry to hear of your loss. My mom died of pancreatic cancer when I was 21 and that was the hardest thing i've ever been through and I still miss her like it was yesterday. I'll keep you in my thoughts and prayers, sweetie. amber im really sorry be strong and remember the good. time will heal, lisa i also lost my mom to pancreatic cancer when i was 19, and like you, i still think of her and dream her to this day even though its been 15 years, but i made it.


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## han (Aug 26, 2006)

sorry for your lost i lost my dad this year too i saw your profile and i just move from hawaii/oahu last july my husband was in the navy well my dad was sick and a week befor we were suppose to come back he had a stroke and shortly passed away and i was in hawaii for three years and only saw him once in that time so i feel your pain your not alone some times life can be unfair


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## Marisol (Aug 26, 2006)

I am so sorry for you loss.


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## natalie75 (Aug 26, 2006)

I am so so sorry to read of your loss. My father died suddenly 11 years ago now. One day at a time.............


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## babydoll1209 (Aug 26, 2006)

sooooo sorry sweetie. Mut is here for you. It's so difficult to bear but I hope you could get better soon.


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## YvetteJeannine (Aug 26, 2006)

*There's not a lot I can say, (sorry just doesn't cover it)...except that I understand how you're feeling. I lost my daddy (I was his "little girl"..he called me that 'till he died) when I was 18. His was a illness...but we still didn't think he would go when he did. I'll never forget it.*

I also lost my Mom a few yrs. back...it was a horrible accident at the hospital (malpractice/negligence), and that one was hard too, 'cause we had to end her life-support.

I am so sorry. If you need to chat, pls. feel free to PM me. I know what you're going thru.


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## marshall1704 (Aug 26, 2006)

I am very sorry to hear about your loss hun. I will keep you in my prayers.


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## KristieTX (Aug 26, 2006)

I'm so sorry for your loss. *hugs* We're all here for you.


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## VenusGoddess (Aug 27, 2006)

I'm so sorry to hear this...my deepest condolences...and a ((((hug)))).


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## shams (Aug 27, 2006)

I am very sorry to hear. You are so young, only 19. But, you have to move on. its sounds so hard ( I lost one of my parents at 16, 3 years ago)... Stick with your family. They feel the same grief and can comfort you.

For me, it worked to write my feelings down, I wrote letters to my parent for several weeks.. And I put a little letter in the coffin, that was the first one I wrote.


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## Elisabeth (Aug 28, 2006)

I'm so sorry about your father.


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## mabelwan (Aug 28, 2006)

I'm sorry for your loss. I know how you feel. I lost my beloved grandmum 6yrs ago and I still miss her like crazy. Send you my heart-felted condolences, sweetie.


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## devinjhans (Aug 28, 2006)

I am soooo sorry about your loss! I will pray for you and your family! God bless!


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## blackmettalic (Aug 28, 2006)

I have a very ill father as well and I know about preparing for a possible loss. I hope that you are able to retain his good memory in your heart and find some comfort from your heartache.


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## kisska3000 (Aug 28, 2006)

I am very sorry for your loss


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## MBenita (Aug 29, 2006)

My Prayers and condolences to your family.


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## Kimmi201 (Aug 29, 2006)

Im so sorry sweetheart...my close friends father just died shes also 19..it was completely out of no where..a heart attack and they didnt even know he had heart problems....be strong youll get through it


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## _withoutYou (Aug 29, 2006)

Originally Posted by *kittii* /img/forum/go_quote.gif This is not fair i am only 19 years old........i miss him so much i cant do this.......... Awww sweety i'm very sorry to hear that



*Hugs*Find the comfort in the fact that he's at peace right now.



This hits home for me... because that's my number 1 fear... my father is my rock, my laughter, my tears and my life. I can honestly say that I'll be locked up in a mental institution if anything happens to my father, I know for a fact that I won't be able to handle that because he's the one that I go to for support, for advice and for someone to lean on, NOBODY understands me the way he does.

Stay strong!

If ya ever wanna talk or someone to listen, msg me!


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## echanting (Aug 29, 2006)

I am so sorry for your loss.


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## Jennifer (Aug 29, 2006)

i am so, so, so sorry.


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## redrocks (Aug 29, 2006)

I'm so sorry for your loss. I know what you are going through. I lost my father two weeks before my 14th birthday.

It's very hard losing a parent when you are so young. Please remember to talk about your feelings and not let them bottle up. It really does help to talk.

If you need anything or just want to talk, please PM me.

Hang in there and again, I'm so sorry for your loss!

HUGS


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## angel_eyes (Sep 1, 2006)

im so sorry to hear abt ur loss


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## LilDee (Sep 2, 2006)

hi hun, i just want to wish you my condolences, i'm so sorry for your loss


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## Glamour Girl (Oct 17, 2006)

I'm so sorry honey. You are in my thoughts and prayers.


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## mandy_ (Oct 17, 2006)

I'm so sorry for your loss. I can't even imagine how hard that must be for you. You'll be in my prayers tonight.


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## rainbowholism (Oct 17, 2006)

I hope you'll be alright.. *huggggs*


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## tadzio79 (Oct 17, 2006)

I'm really sorry for your loss... you're in my prayers.


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## luvmylittleboy (Oct 17, 2006)

I'm so sorry your going through this - you and your family are in my thoughts &amp; prayers!!


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## kittii (Oct 18, 2006)

i just wanted to thank you to all of you! After my father passing away i flew back home to be with my family for a week. my mother and step father were in california on vacation at the time so i was without them for a month but i had my husband my mother in law and father in law and my brothers and friends to hold me up. My father ended up being cremated and put on the other side of my grandparents headstone (they are still living) we had a small service for him which my aunt (his sister) helf for the family. it was very nice and comforting even though there were many tears shed. I laid 2 roses down on his grave 1 from me and one for my grandmother (she has empesema sp? and couldnt make it, she can barley cross the living room) my mother and my 2 real brother also laid roses for him my stepfather laid a rock from the colorado river down for him (they used to be best friends) i got to meet my real grandmother that i never knew about until my father past. the poem my aunt read was very sweet the main part said "do not stand at my grave and weep for me, for i am not here, i am in the trees and the wind, i am every where" although it was hard i made it through it. The next day i went back to visit him just to say hi and let him know i was thinking of him and kissed the ground where he laid. Its been rough but i can feel him around me and i know hes looking down smiling at me and prolly holding his grandchild that i lost over 3 years ago. My father did not own much for he was homeless and had given most of his stuff away but i did end up getting some things to remember him by. i did have to go to a pawn shop to get out some jewelry which seems played out to me because there were 3 peices 2 rings and a necklace. just so happens he has 3 children. coincedence? i also had taken his ssc and birth certificate and pictures and some random papers he had wrote on............unfortuantley they havent arrived yet and the postal lady had told me they would have been here a week ago some im try to keep my mind off of it and hope and pray that the box gets to me for thats all i have. just thought i should update and thank you all very much. although i feel i will never feel healed and completly whole again i am trying to keep my head up.


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## Mina (Oct 18, 2006)

I am so sorry amber. i hope think will be better for you. Take good care of yourself.


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## BrazenBrunhilda (Oct 23, 2006)

My dad died two months ago. It hurts. But you can get through it because you HAVE to get through it. Hang in there, honey.


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## kittii (Oct 25, 2006)

yesterday was 3 months now that hes been gone. i know hes here with me, i can feel him sometimes wrapping his arms around me and he likes to knock stuff over. the other day i was just sitting here and a picture of me and him was sitting on a table next to my tv propped up and out of nowhere it basically jumped off the table and did like 2 front flips and landed straight up just like it was on the table.....i think it was his way of saying hi and to let me know that he made it here.


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## Aquilah (Oct 25, 2006)

I'm glad you feel his presence with you... That's quite an interesting way of saying "Hi!"


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## jdepp_84 (Oct 25, 2006)

Im sorry you are going through this. But don't give up, im sure the last thing your dad wanted to see you do was give up. What dosen't destroy you only makes you stronger.

Originally Posted by *kittii* /img/forum/go_quote.gif yesterday was 3 months now that hes been gone. i know hes here with me, i can feel him sometimes wrapping his arms around me and he likes to knock stuff over. the other day i was just sitting here and a picture of me and him was sitting on a table next to my tv propped up and out of nowhere it basically jumped off the table and did like 2 front flips and landed straight up just like it was on the table.....i think it was his way of saying hi and to let me know that he made it here. I feel the same thing with my grandpa. Funny thing is that I never met him. I know its him because i've seen his reflection. Its funny because I didn't get scared or anything. I actually feel more comfortable knowing hes there.


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## cerridwin (Oct 30, 2006)

I am so sorry for your loss. No matter how it never is easy. Just hang in there and know there is a huge group of people who support you in this time.


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## windyjo1 (Oct 30, 2006)

I am so sorry, that is terrible.


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