# Life Is Unfair



## Leony (Feb 3, 2006)

I need to get this out from my chest.

My father-in-law lives with us ever since we got married because he's old and because my husband has promised to her beloved mother to take care of his father. I thought it was OK, and I had no problem about living with his father since I never knew how is it like to have a father in my whole life.

I never thought it was hard for me to deal with this, it took me two years to adjust my life with his father. It was TOUGH and unpleasant, but I love my husband so much so I accept everything and try to be patient. It worked on the third years; I finally managed to get used to with my father in-law ANNOYING and NOSEY character.

But, unfortunately, right after the moment I thought I'd have a happy life, my sister-in-law came to this house without even talks or discusses this thing first with us, she just suddenly decided to get divorced with his drunk-pathetic husband and live with us without any PLAN for her future life.

At first, I thought we need to help her because she's in a HARD situation and I feel sorry for her daughter which I really like her a lot. She didn't even tell us for how long she'd live with us. I thought maybe like one or two years until she can find a proper job.

Her life is getting SO MUCH better after she divorced, she doesn't even have to COOK, or CLEAN the house, all she's done is just went to her part time work which is only 3 times a week (as I can recall) and came home at 8 PM everyday when the dinners is served. How many times she cooked in a month? ONE time. How many times she Vacuum Clean the house? 6 months ONE time. Who wash her father dirty clothes etc everyday? ME!

She never even wash his father dirty dishes/cups; she only wash her own dirty dish/cups. While; on the other hand, I always wash her kid's and her dirty dish/glass or cups. But, she never did the same to us/me!

I'm strong, and I keep going I tried to ignore it and try to be patient again with her. But, one day she came home and proudly announced that she finally got a FULL TIME job and told her father that she needs a CAR since she got a new job and there were no public transportations she can use.

It's none of my business, and I had no problem with that as long as she's not asking my husband's money. And you know what? She SMASHED the car to other people's house on her first day of her new job. Her father again who's paying for the damaged, and for everything she had done.

Last month she nearly got a woman killed and almost lost her car license because of that, her father again who paid everything.

Today I just heard that my father in-law is going to get another new car for her since the old car is small needs more $$ for the maintenances.

For a second there, I thought it was none of my business. But, hey she already got a job and she NEVER PAID anything in her life ever since she lives with us (mind you this house is OUR house, her father has another 2 houses one in Osaka and the other one right beside our house). Why she is still HERE? It almost 3 years now.

Why don't get she a new apartment instead of a NEW CAR and let me live my life!

You know, this is not FAIR. My mother divorced twice in her life, and it was I who had to "pay" for everything! I never know how is it like to live with REAL parents ever since I was a baby, I never know how does it feels to have your father buy things for you. I never even know how does it feels to eat breakfast/dinner with the family! AND I never know how does it feels to have a "HOME". And when I finally I thought I have a "HOME," someone came took my happiness away from me.

I remember I always have to "work" or do something so I won't feel bad about staying in other people's house. I got raped when I was 7 and 8 years old and had sexually abused my step father in my junior high years.

I didn't even know that I have a mother not until I turned 8 years old. I thought I was all alone with my grandma and had no one else to hold on to, I had to forced myself to be strong in my innocent ages. I didn't live like other regular kids did. My childhood is the worst thing I ever had in my life.

And now, right in front of my face. I see someone who's in the same positions with my mother, divorced and jobless. But, she got everything she wants so EASILY! She didn't have to pay for meal she has everyday, she didn't have to send away her daughter so she can find a job and provide her life. NO, she didn't! I took care of her daughter while she's away looking for a job.

Maybe none of you could understand my feelings, but every time I looked back and compared their life with my life before, I feel so sad and feel as though this is not fair. Why me...

I do not blame God nor anyone for whatever ever happened in my life; *I KNOW that am NOT the only one who suffered and had unhappy childhood in this world, but still everything seems so unfair to me at this moment*.

I feel suffocated and hard to breath right now. I used to just smile when I feel sad, but I couldn't take it anymore. It's too hard for me to keep this inside and pretend that I am happy; I don't know whether am happy or not right now, but at least I still can buy anything I want, but I guess money couldn't make me happy enough.

My life will never going to be easy, I will always have be ready for next "task of life". I am sorry for the shock and long post; I just need to get this out from my chest.

Thank you for reading.

*PS. Please no personal PM regarding this thread.*


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## Laura (Feb 3, 2006)

Woah Leony, i dont know what to say. First of all, i'm so sorry you had to go through all that you did as a child. I hope the people that did all those horrible things to you were punished for their crimes. Ugh i'm so angry.

Secondly, your sister-in-law needs a reality check. She's taking you for a fool Leony. I think its time you spoke up. Does your husband know how you feel? Nobody can say anything bad about you if you do speak up. This woman has been living rent free in your house for 3 years while her dad pays for new cars etc.. She's working full-time now so she has no excuses. You really gotta say something honey. As you said, its not fair on you. You have your life to live too. Its not your responsibility to look after your sister-in-law or her daughter. Sure you can be of help but not their carer!

Please do say something. You're in my thoughts **HUGS**


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## Andi (Feb 3, 2006)

I agree with Laura. I donÂ´t think anybody would be mad if you speak up. have you ever talked to your husband about how you feel? since she is his sister he might not really want to see the reality, but if you make him see it maybe heÂ´ll understand and support your opinion. I mean everybody should see that this is not right.

itÂ´s one thing to get help from your family, but staying there for 3 years and letting other people pay and clean for you is not right. especially since she has a full time job now. you are completely right to not agree with that kind of behavior. especially since you have been through so much, which I am so sorry to hear about.

I am guessing she doesnÂ´t know what you had to deal with all your life, cause if she did sheÂ´d get her ass out of your house ASAP and start getting her own life.

I hope you can sort this out, and IÂ´m sure your husband will support your opinion. take care, and no worries about the long post. weÂ´re here for you!!!! and yes, you needed to get this off your chest, I would have done the same...and I would have probably written a complete novel about it :icon_redf

:icon_love sending hugs your way :icon_love


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## clairey (Feb 3, 2006)

Leony, my heart really goes out to you. You have seemed to me such a happy, cheerful person since I have joined MUT and I would never have guessed how much hardship you have been through and are going through right now.

I have to agree with the other girls, talking to your husband about how you feel about things is the best thing to do. Does he have any idea how you feel and how hard all this is for you? I'm sure at the end of the day, the most important thing for him is his wife's happiness, especially after the childhood you had. Finally, like you say, you have a home where you can be happy, and you should be allowed do that.

I really really hope that things work out for you. You are a lovely beautiful person and don't deserve to be so sad. You have done so much for your husband's sister already, and it is time for her to realise that the time has come for her to stand on her own two feet, without having you to run around for her.

Take care pet. ((HUGS)) :icon_love


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## Zoey (Feb 3, 2006)

OH my dear Leony,I am so sorry. I am sorry for your horrible childhood.

In this situation you did MORE than I ever could-excepting 2 members toYOUR home,and doing all those things for htem...You are one great WOMAN!

I can totally understand when enough is enough!Maybe you would try and talk to your hubbie about it,maybe he could help sort that sister out.

anyhow,I am not the bestest to give advice,but I am with you with all my heart and am thinking of you!

Love ya!


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## Leony (Feb 3, 2006)

Thank you girls.

The thing is I couldn't ask them to get out of the house, because I don't want the same bad thing happened to her daughter as what happened to me in childhood life before. At least not until her daughter in third or four grades.

But I couldn't stand her pathetic excuses and she's being ungrateful for the good life she has right now. I feel like I want to scream and tell her what kind of life I had through, and tell her the reality is SUCK but I couldn't.


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## Laura (Feb 3, 2006)

Then how about you sit down with your hubby &amp; sister-in-law and just tell her that she needs to do more around the house. Since she is working full-time, she should contribute to household expenses etc.. and start helping more.


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## Maja (Feb 3, 2006)

Oh, Leony I'm so sorry you had to go through all that pain as a child! Things like that really make me angry and sad at the same time!

I agree with the others, you really should talk to your husband about it and also to your sister-in-law. It is your home they are living in and if she doesn't have the decency to offer to cover some expenses, help you cook and clean around the house, you should remind her that that is the right thing to do. Because she is taking you and your help for granted; and is using your kindness. I think that 3 years is more than enough to start over.

I hope everything will work out for the best; because you deserve the best. And just because your life was hard in the past, it doesn't mean you future has to be hard as well.

Sending you lots of love, best wishes and hugs :icon_love:icon_love:icon_love:icon_love


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## eightthirty (Feb 3, 2006)

Leony, I'm so sorry to hear of your painful childhood, but I must commend you on what a strong, loving woman you have become! It is so generous of you to take in family. It's not unreasonable to expect contributions from your sister-in-law. If the tables were turned and you were living with her trying to get back on your feet, don't you think she would expect the same from you?

I definitely agree that a conversation between the three of you is long overdue. I would suggest expressing your feelings to your husband first and then among the three of you. I am a 26 year old single mother, who lives with her parents. I know firsthand how it is to be a guest in someone's home. I also had a hard time with sharing in responsibility. Granted, you are not your sister-in-law's mother, but it may be as simple as asking for her to pitch in. Even though I'm 26, moving back into my parents house made me feel safe and somewhat childlike in my fragile situation. So, I reverted to the mindset of a teenager at some points, not even thinking twice about what I could do to help. The bottom line is, my parents confronted me and things are better. I still have my moments. I shouldn't have to ever be reminded, but that is where individuality comes into play. Unfortunately, all people don't have as much consideration as they should. It may take a little "training" per se in the form of constant reminders.

In addition, I would suggest, if you can tolerate it, interacting in conversation with your sister-in-law. Show an interest emotionally in getting her back on her feet (and the heck out of your house), but be as genuine as you can be.

I hope this helps.

Stay strong hunny! And you're right, money can't buy you happiness.

(((HUGS))))


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## Midori (Feb 3, 2006)

When bad things happen to children, that they don't understand, it is possible that they may, in part, blame themselves in some way, when they are not to blame in any way. It seems you are trying hard to prevent something happening, that probably won't happen, and making yourself feel responsible for the upbringing that your sister-in-law may be giving to her daughter. But her child is her responsibility, not yours. You would be in no way to blame for anything that happens as a consequence of your sister-in-law leaving.

You have become a strong, responsible and very good person and by living a good life you have shown how much better you are than those who harmed you in your past. It would be a shame if your kindness was used against you by your sister in law. That means your goodness is allowing a bad person to remain bad. I think you deserve that happiness you have earned, and sometimes we have to do things to defend our happiness. You would be totally justified in getting your sister-in-law out of the house, by fair means or foul - but those who suggested talking to your husband were giving good advice, too - it would help a lot if he agrees.

I don't know if your husband is Japanese? But in a Japanese traditional family I have heard the wife is in control of the house and the family finances. You would be totally justified in controlling what goes on in your house.

I don't really have a right to give any advice really - and from what you have said I am sure you will know the right thing to do, and the strength that has helped you in the past will carry you through this temporary situation.


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## Amethyst (Feb 3, 2006)

Leony I'm so sorry you went through all these horrible things in your life. I can't imagine what it was like. You seemed to have risen above it all and must have been a very strong person to do so. I commend you on that.:clap

But....concering the situation with your sister-in-law and father-in-law - - *THIS IS YOUR HOME* and *YOUR SPACE* and you need to* first* have a private long talk with *your husband* and *second* you need to *SPEAK UP* to your sister-in-law. If you don't, I'm afraid this might affect your marriage or your health. This kind of stress can't be good for your health and well being. Please have a talk with your husband and come to some kind of agreement. Your sister-in-law needs to *GET OUT* of your house, it sounds like she's taking advantage of you big time. Perhaps her daughter can live with you until her mother gets back on her feet. But one thing is, that sister-in-law needs a reality check.

Good luck!!!


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## jennycateyez (Feb 3, 2006)

im so sorry to hear that happen to you when you were younger leony. i agree life isnt fare sometime. i think you really need to tell her something esp if she doesnt even do anything for her father!!! she has a full time job and can save money since she doesnt pay for anything anyway and move out so she can have her OWN stuff. i really think you sould let her know something but def in a nice way.


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## Eva121 (Feb 3, 2006)

I'm so sorry you're going through this, Leony.

I agree with the other girls about talking with your husband and your sister-in-law.

I understand you're worried about her daughter, but this way she's not setting a very good example for her either. If she gets her act together, her daughter can learn from her.

And about the money... it's great you don't have financial problems, but nobody will be mad at you when you say your unhappy even though you have all the money you need. Money doesn't make you happy and you have the right to speak up when you're unhappy about sth!

Good luck, Leony!


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## redrocks (Feb 3, 2006)

Oh Leony, I'm so sorry! &lt;&lt;HUGS&gt;&gt;

I agree with the others, you really need to sit down with your husband and sister-in-law and talk. Your husband needs to know how you feel and you sister-in-law needs to start pulling her weight around the house. I understand that you do not want to kick her out of the house and that's fine, but she has to start doing things to help out. Asking someone to help clean up or do dishes or the wash really isn't a lot. She should be able to help you out with those things.

Good luck sweetie and hang in there!


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## foxyruby (Feb 3, 2006)

_I am deeply sorry to hear that Ms. Leony...I think it would be best if u talk with your husband regarding this matter...Just hang in there n always ask god guidance..thank care sissie_


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## KittySkyfish (Feb 3, 2006)

Leony, I'm so sorry that you're in this situation.  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" /> But if I understand this correctly...your MIL is deceased or no longer in the house, and you're living in your FIL's house? If this is the case, I have a feeling you have taken on the role of the matriarch and the others have, consciously or not, attributed to you every role that your MIL had. If she was a silent "do everything workerbee" in the house, it's easy to see how your husband, FIL and SIL would see you that way too. Since you are a stay-at-home wife, it was easy for them to see you slip into your MIL's shoes. When SIL came back home, she went back to a routine that she probably had when she was a teenager, which means she relies on 'mommy' to take care of her. Of course her dad is going to agree with this because that's the way it's always been, and it's usually the mom that pushes the daughter to be less lazy, not the dad.

Since this is the father's house and you are the DIL living there, it's going to be tricky getting the workload to balance out evenly if FIL doesn't agree with your thoughts of SIL taking on more responsibilities. Especially since you don't have a job outside the house. Remember, I'm a stay-at-home wife too and I know the drill about household duties. :icon_redf


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## senelips (Feb 3, 2006)

I don't know you but I am so saddened by you post. I do believe that you have to put boundaries up somewhere. Does your husband know you feel this way. It is one thing to help family, it is another to get taken advantage of . I think God will bless your efforts. You say you don't blame him, so you must believe in Him. I know His will is not for you to feel this way. Maybe you should lean on Him.


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## Mitsuko (Feb 3, 2006)

omg i'm so sorry you had to go through. poor little baby. 

i kinda know how you feel. i had a hard childhood too.

I really think you NEED to talk with your husband. this CANT continue.

3 years! i cant believe you lived that 3 long years.

i understand you dont want her daughter to suffer. but geez, this woman need to get a life! your not her mom. she have a dad. if he can pay for 2 cars, he probably can help her paying a rent or something.

youre still so young, you need to live your life with your husband. together.

hope it will be better soon.

but please, do something, you cant live like that anymore

things HAVE to change.


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## tinypinkbubbles (Feb 3, 2006)

Hello-

Leony, I don't really know you as I am new here but from your posts I have read, you are truly a genuine,loving,giving,sweet person. I'm not sure what advice I can give you but I will try my best.

First of all, it is good to get things off your chest and to vent so never feel bad about that. You need to stop letting your sister-in-law have power over your life and how you feel. She seems like she hasn't been told no in her life very often and she takes for granted the kindness that people show her. She may even expect it from people and when people like yourself are so giving as a natural personality trait, it allows her to go on believing that deserves it.

Let your husband know how you feel if you haven't already. He probably feels the same way and then you two can talk to her about how it's going to be from now on if she wants to continue living in your house. Set the rules firmly and let her know that there will be no whining or complaining. If she goes to your father-in-law and complains, let him know firmly as he may feel guilty himself about what is going on. Don't apologize or start anything off with I'm sorry.

I commend you for taking care of your of all your new family members even if they don't deserve it. I'm so sorry about your childhood and you have made great strides to put the past behind and that is awesome! Just don't let yourself get trapped in a situation where you are giving more to other people than yourself.

Sending lots of hugs and well wishes your way.


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## PopModePrincess (Feb 4, 2006)

Leony, I hate what happened to you as a girl and all that you had to go through! I am truly sorry. I agree with what everyone else has said, talk to your husband. Talk to him before you confront his sister. You've done your part and allowed her to stay with you until she got a job. Now that she has a full time job, you want to let your husband know that you are interested in knowing what her next move is as far as getting her own place. When you finally do speak with your SIL try get her to commit to a certain time frame for when she will be ready to leave.

I know God will work this out for you. God Bless.


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## Marisol (Feb 4, 2006)

I am sorry for all that you went through and all that you are going through. It seems that some people think that they are entitled to things and don't work for them. You SIL seems like one of them. While you have worked your whole life to get where you are, things are handed to her. However, the day will come where her life wont be so easy and she will have no one to turn to because no one will want to help her.

How does your husband feel about what is going on? If you have a good rapport with her, I would suggest that the three of you sit down and discuss your feelings about the situation. Yeah, it might be uncomfortable at first but I believe that even if she doesn't understand your point of view, you will feel better because now she knows how you feel.

::Hugs::


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## kaori (Feb 4, 2006)

Aduh maaf banget dech ge gak bisa ngomong ceplas ceplos bahasa ingris ge memalukan dunia ,...tapi ge takjub kepribadian leony kuat,...Ge setuju sam yang lain bilang sma suami aja yang Leony rasakan sekrang,..kalo gak bikin aksi mogok makan,..atau pulang ke Indo biar agak tenang,..jalan jalan kek apa kek,...ge juga pernah kok ngerasain sakit hati kaya gini apalgi kalo orang yang bersangkutan gak sadar,..wah komunikasi emang sulit sama orang Jepang,...kalo udah uring uringan gini

coba dech pulang sebentar ke Indon biar swami akhirnya ngerti bahwa Leony juga berhak berbicara ,...mungkin ini juga yang bikin adeknya gak ngerti soalnya Leony pendem kesabaran,..lagi dia juga bukan dukun yang bisa nangkep persaan orang,..pasang aksi aja,...ge percaya swami juga mikir,..pura pura pulang and ngambek !!!

mungkin ini agak aneh tapi biasanya berhasil temen temen ge juga pada begitu,..

ge percaya swami Leony juga mau yang terbaik buat istrinya yang tersayang,..dan pastilah berpihak ke istri,...care solusinya atau makan bareng sam sam terus ngomong yang seadanya!!!

Ge berdoa dech biar maslah bisa ada jalan keluarnya!!!

がんばれ、。。。がんばれ、。。。


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## Leony (Feb 4, 2006)

Thank you for all the advices and supports everyone, it realy means a lot to me.

Midori, yes you right and I'm in total control in the house but the thing is I'm younger than my sis in-law and she BARELY talks. We hardly have communications with her in this house. I think she has some kind of mental problem or something lol. I'm the one who has been trying to approach her for the last one year.

We talked about her laziness with her and with all the families member gathered like 5 times already, but she never changed! lol.

She's the most weird, odd, lazy person I've ever met in my whole life LOL.


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## Leony (Feb 4, 2006)

Thank you for the advice Kerry, actually my husband's mother already passed away 7 years ago and this house is my husband's house, my husband build this house with his own $$$.

His father has his own house in Osaka and the other one near our house.

Before MIL died, they already shared their wealth (money, houses and land) to their 3 children, including SIL but her pathetic hubby splurged it and they got nothing left that is why they got divorced.

Her dad is freaking spoilt her, I told my husband today that I can no longer live with her sister in this house. She already has a full time job, and I offered to take care of her daughter after school time. I'll talk about this again tomorrow with my FIL. I have to talk about this with them and decide what's the best for my life. I've been kind and patient enough with them, but not this time.


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## Leony (Feb 4, 2006)

Makasih Sur, iya ge cape dan stress.

Ge nga pengen benci orang, tapi nih orang bikin ge benci deh.

Di bilangin suruh berubah kemalasan udah 5 kali tapi nga pernah berubah!

Udah umur 35 kok lagu masih kaya anak remaja aja, muka dan umur tua laga k kanak2 haha. Duh lega ge tumpahin ini di MUT.

Sesak banget sur dada ge, ini orang orang yg paling susah di ajak kompromi. Primitif nya Jepang kali yah haha.


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## peekaboo (Feb 4, 2006)

Sorry you are going through all of this Leony! My heart goes out to you!


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## Jennifer (Feb 4, 2006)

leony, i am so very sorry you are going through this and what you've already gone through.

since you said you've talked to them, i'd keep doing it over and over. maybe they shrug it off like you're PMSing or something, but fight (not literally) until they see how much it's really pushing you over.

you deserve the best and don't let anyone take it away from you. you deserve a nice and happy home more than anyone.

good luck and you know we're here for you if you need us!

love you!


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## MACGoddess (Feb 4, 2006)

Sweetheart I am so sorry that you have had to put up with so much in you life! Life truly is NOT fair, not when someone so loving and sweet as you has had to be put through so much hardship and pain!

Have you told your husband how you feel? Especially about his sister living with you? His father I can somewhat understand, bc he promised his mother, but at the same time, couldn't his father live next door and just be "checked" on by the two of you?


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## devinjhans (Feb 4, 2006)

Awwww....Leony my friend I am so sorry for your terrible situation!




I can't imagine how difficult that must be to be taking care of two people and have your privacy invaded upon. Especially when the one person is an abled body person that should be taking care of herself and her kids. Have you talked to your husband about telling his sister that she needs to move out and get her own place? I know about people like her, b/c we have family members just like that. They don't do anything and have everything given to them and are still ungreatful and feeling sorry for themselves. Then there is those of us who work and try to be responsible and we have to struggle. I think that what makes it worse it that the people who don't have to do anything for themselves and are not responsible for anything are enabled and people keep helping them, so then they are not forced into a situation where they MUST help themselves. I think if we did more of that then they would become more responsible and see what it feels like. You shouldn't have to bare the burden of working, taking the care of the household and someone else who should be taking care of themselves. She is just using you and will continue to until you all put a stop to it. I know it is not easy, especially since it is your husband's sister, but for your sanity and your marriage I think it is something you should address. I am sorry that you had such a hard life, yet you turned out to be this beautiful, loving woman!:icon_love You are such an asset to MUT and a beautiful person in general. God will see you through all of this pain and hard times, just like He has seen you through your childhood. I know we don't always understand why we have to go through the things we go through in life, but God always has a purpose in mind. Who knows who this post might help, to see that you have gone through something similar and have come out stronger for it. I am here for you if you ever need to talk Leony!:icon_love


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## kaori (Feb 5, 2006)

OH begitu yach,...!!!:icon_neut


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## Nolee (Feb 5, 2006)

im so sorry Leony *hug*

haven't you heard of the old saying that bad things happen to good people?

and apparently you're one of the Best people, everytime your heart aches for something you just remeber the good things you that u have in life which other people can't even get close to, remeber your husband and how much you mean to him and remeber all the people who love you...

im not the best person to talk you out of this feeling :$

but i really didnt wanna read and leave without saying anything to you sweetheart...

hugs and prayers.. (f)


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## Leony (Feb 5, 2006)

OMG thank you sooo much for the supports everyone!

I finally did it! I talked to them today with my husband about how I feel, and she finally agree and wanted to get a new apartment instead of a new car!

I explained to them about how I feel and about how much we want to have our own family since we don't have kids yet. (we tried like 2 years already) and we needed their help to give us some "space" in our own house.

I don't mind about his father living with us because I understand that it's my husband responsibility which is become my responsibility as well.

My husband and I helped her today to find her a new decent apartment, and they'll move soon around April. I told her that we will always try to help her when she need it. I really hope that things will work out for her and for myself!

THANK YOU again for the support and advices everyone! I could never do this without your support guys!:icon_love :icon_love :icon_love

I'll keep you all posted!


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## Eva121 (Feb 5, 2006)

That sounds great, Leony, it's a good start! Now let's hope it happens as well, you did the right thing  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />


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## KristieTX (Feb 5, 2006)

Leony, I'm so sorry to hear about what you went through in your childhood. You seem to be a really sweet person and I hate to read that something like that happened. You do seem to have really learned to deal with the pain of it all and I admire you for having the courage to do so.

I'm so glad that things seem to be working out for you regarding your sister-in-law.


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## bluebird26 (Feb 5, 2006)

Neat. It will good to know you are gonna get your privacy back. Sometimes it's hard to do that when an spouse feels responsible for members of the family. It's sad when THEY take advantage of that kindness.

When my husband was single, he had his brother and sister in law living with them. He told me they used to eat all the food, didn't help with rent at all or any other bill and even worse, they invaded their privacy so much that he even had to leave the apartment because he needed his space. The only way they left was when my husband paid for the deposit an apartment complex asked them before they moved. They left bills such an expensive long distance phone bill (she used to talk to her family in Mexico) and my husband paid for it. Did he ever get any money back or just "thanks a lot"? NOPE.

He always says he did it because they are part of his family. I agree with him about helping out but it makes me very upset when people cross the limits when it comes to getting help.

I applaud your willingness to work something out and for bearing them all this time! I think it's very important to keep peace in the family.

I hope things are much better now!  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />


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## bunni (Feb 5, 2006)

Oh my darling Leony, I am glad things worked out, I was so saddened by your initial post, your childhood made me cry:icon_cry: . (hugs)

I am really happy that it worked out, we here support you 200%!!! Also, I have always found that it is so much better when you vent, so don't be afraid to vent in here, in fact its healthy!!!

I know bad things happened to you in the past, but now its time for the good things to come, kids! So try to relax and treat yourself to things once your SIL is out of the house. I am sure you will make the most adorable baby soon!!! :icon_love


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## Marisol (Feb 5, 2006)

I am so happy for you Leony! I am glad that things worked out on a positive note for you.


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## suzizack (Feb 6, 2006)

Leony, By now I hope you have managed to have an open and honest discussion with your husband about your feelings,depression and need for his help in your living arrangement . If not your marriage will eventually suffer. Stress just permeats every area of our lives if we let it fester. Setting bounderies is not bad.... it is reasonable and life preserving.

Prayers to you.

Jane


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## Kaede (Feb 6, 2006)

I can't offer you any advice, having never been in any situation anything like that, but I have to say that I feel for you so much! I hope your problems get resolved.


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## Mitsuko (Feb 6, 2006)

thats great!

im really happy for you girl!:clap


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## Liz (Feb 6, 2006)

that's great that you were able to work things out sweetie!


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## Kaede (Feb 6, 2006)

That's great Leony! Good luck!


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## Jennifer (Feb 6, 2006)

leony, i am sooooooooooooooo happy for you! i'm glad you're happy now because you deserve it  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />


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## Leony (Feb 6, 2006)

Thank you girls.

PS. Please do not PM me personally regarding my personal thread, this is just a vent post.


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## Laura (Feb 6, 2006)

That is great news girl! Im so happy for you  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />


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## Killah22 (Feb 6, 2006)

Yes, I totally agree. Just because your life was hard in the past as a child doesn't mean that your future has to be hard too. Just sit down and express yourself to all of them because as long as you keep it inside and never let any of them know how you feel, they aren't ever going to know. You deserve much better.......so get everything off of your chest once more.


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## Zoey (Feb 7, 2006)

Leony I'm sooo happy for you!I'm glad things worked out!:icon_love :icon_love :icon_love :icon_love :icon_love


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## Pauline (Feb 7, 2006)

Hi Leony, big (((HUGS))) to you. I am glad things seem to be working out now.It sounds like you have a big heart and wear it on your sleeve, and that you're good giving kind nature has been taken advantage of. You must have been under some pressure and stress having to cope with all that for 3 years! Stress in not good for you so i am so glad you have been talking and asserting yourself. However be wary, your SIL sounds rather manipulative and so you may have to be very firm with her and not let her slip back into her old ways a week after the recent discusion. Keep talking to your hubby and make sure he backs you up.You are in your own home and you have rights. Your heart is good, so don't let anyone make you feel guilty. 3 years is a long time and could easily turn into another 3 if SIL gets her own way. It's time for her to start paying her own way and for you to claim your rights to your home.Good Luck Leonyx


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## mintesa (Feb 12, 2006)

HUGS Leony. I am happy that you will have your space finally. And you need all the space since you and your husband are gonna try for kids. and i wish you all the love and luck with that :icon_love I totally support your desicion of letting her find an apartment, you took care of her for so long and it doesnt seem like she cares. well but enough of that.

just be excited for april for gaining your space back:icon_love. and it probably might be good for your SIL to try it on her own, maybe she will grow up.


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## Elisabeth (Feb 20, 2006)

Wow! I think Kerry hit that one on the head.:clap


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## Elisabeth (Feb 20, 2006)

Oh I'm so mental and late to this post. I'm happy for you Leony. You handled that situaiton perfectly.:icon_chee


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