# Help... Long story...



## Killah Kitty (Feb 19, 2007)

I have been in this relationship with a boy for 11 months. I havent been gettin treated right and I know. So I still dont know why I am stayin. I admit I must be stuck. Friends tell me this as well. He tells me he loves me and misses me and the whole everything always. He must be a good actor because it really does seem sincere.. So I dont even kno what to believe.. He has me hooked.. But I cant even remember the last time hes looked me right in the eyes and said he loves me.. Even if he says it every day..

He knows tons of girls and he is talkin to new ones constantly. He hits on them all the time. I kno its beyond my business but because we have never been able to completly trust each other (He cheated on me with a friend of mine who told me but that is months ago) (And I gave my number to a guy) I hate to admit but Ive snooped. A few times I read his texts when he was showerin (Hes done this to me) and found some interesting stuff. He hits on girls like constantly and sincerly like he is single.

Down the road I learned his myspace password and it was like opening this treasure chest.. I felt really bad.. but all the messages I found have made me feel sick. Hes met up with tons of girls and done a lot of things. Hes never told me anything. Even when I told him I knew from my friend he cheated on me he still denies it to this day. He says you believe her over me? He is like that, he will deny anythin forever. 

Well at the end of October he seemed to have stopped so I figured things would be ok. But tonight I just ventured in. I had a feelin and there it is happenin again. Hes hittin on yet again another chick (Who is not even pretty!) Tellin her shes so beautiful and he wants to see her this week and cant wait and cant wait to see what happens..

Like honestly girls I just wanted to get this off my chest but I am very confused. Has he been lying to me for a year?? It is hard to believe because I feel we are so close. We have spent nearly every day together and we do everything together and he likes to. Hes always been there for me. I feel our relationship is realy deep. We are like best friends and dating. But we have always had this trust issue.

He has always been all over the ladies. He is incredibly smooth talkin to them. He makes you feel like your his new best friend and that he adores you. He did it me. And once a cheater always a cheater right? I believe it. He cheated on his girlfriend of the time when we first started hanging out. And he lured me in sayin all the same things he says to these other girls.

I am so very curious what will happen this week with his new crush  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" /> If he cheats on me again I am leavin for good. I will just keep my eye out for now. I am jus so sad tonight though. Why cant he just...not do this?? He loves the attention. And he always makes me feel like Im not enough. I dont understand at all because I have kind of fallen in love I guess. But I am only in love with his lies?

I dont know at all anymore!! This hurts any words would be comforting and I apreciate them. Thanks 4 reading.


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## sarahgr (Feb 19, 2007)

Honestly he sounds like a total dirtbag!....Why should you have to wait to find out if he is cheating and THEN decide if you're gonna stay with him?...You deserve better than that. If you even have any doubts (which you obviously do) that shows that you're relationship isn't very strong. You say you have trust issues. Trust is one of the most important things in a relationship imo. My answer is yes, I am sorry to say that i do believe you are in love with his lies. You want to believe the illusion of who you want him to be....he probably has been cheating on you and will continue to do so given the information you provided. It doesn't seem like he has any respect for you.

If you ask me you should leave even though it might hurt at first....trust me there are plenty other fish in the sea!


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## luxotika (Feb 19, 2007)

It sounds like to me that he has shot your self-esteem down to shit. YOU need to get out of this situation and not wait around for him to decide what you are going to do!!!!! Dr. Phil said it best "Present behavior is a good indicator of future behavior", meaning if he cheats on you, what's to say that he won't cheat on you again? Do yourself a favor and GET OUT!


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## Aprill (Feb 19, 2007)

wow- your story is self-explanatory


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## SimplyElegant (Feb 19, 2007)

Leave him while you have doubts. He's not good for you at all. He's not good for any girl with him acting the way he is right now.


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## KimC2005 (Feb 19, 2007)

You know what you should do girl. I think he definitely knows how to smooth talk and he has lured you in to thinking he is this great guy.. but I think he is phony and has been the whole time with you. I'm not gonna preach to you or anything, but you know that he is just dragging you down. He seems like he doesn't care about your feelings and that his cheating is not gonna stop anytime soon for him. Maybe he hasn't done anything physically with these girls, but he still thinks about and if he had the opportunity he would! I hope you think really hard about this and I hope the best for you! PM me if you ever need to talk or anything.


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## pinksugar (Feb 19, 2007)

sweets, here is my 2 cents. Guys are basically bastards. Ok now we've got the basic point across  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" /> just joking, but seriously, he sounds like an *******.

You need to love yourself more. I was with a guy like that, who could lie himself out of anything, and make himself seem so sincere, but it wasn't.

Whether or not he cheats, he's still acting like he's single to god knows how many women. I would be unbelievably cut by that. You deserve a man who wants you for you, and you alone. You are worth so much more than that.

Lots of hugs and hope everything works out for you


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## FeverDream (Feb 19, 2007)

You already know the answer. He can only continue to deceive you if you let him, but it seems you are wise to all his stories now. Giving a halfhearted apology after screwing up means nothing - he is not a real man. In my opinion, the relationship is already unsalvageable because the TRUST is gone, and that is the number one foundation a relationship could be built on. If you stay in this relationship, you'll lose your sense of self, be totally unfulfilled, and sink deeper into a hole with him. It may be hard initially to cut the ties, but you know life will be better without him mind****ing you. Tell him straight up that you want nothing more to do with him, that he shouldn't bother you, and goodbye. Let him make a fool of himself without you around - there are many more decent guys in the world. Good luck!


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## Dragonfly (Feb 19, 2007)

Girl you need to get out of this relationship today. He is a total dirtbag and has been lying to you ever since he got with you. It is no skin off his ass if you stay, he is going to be with other girls regardless. And if he is such a careless A-hole about fooling around, you can bet he is not practicing safe sex.

The longer you stay with him, the sooner he will pass a disease on to you.

Sorry for being so blunt but the truth is so glaring. Hang out with people that care about you and find ways to boost your self esteem and confidence.

Volunteer at a pet shelter - there are tons of love to be found with the animals.


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## jessimau (Feb 19, 2007)

I agree with what everyone else has said. You know what you need to do, otherwise you wouldn't have posted. Just gather up some courage and tell him to get the f*** out of your life! You say he's such a good friend, but a real friend would never do something like this to you. All you'd be losing by dumping his a** is some extra baggage and a chance at catching an STD. You've got SO much more to offer than he could ever appreciate. Something one of the women said here, while going through a breakup, was that the more time you spend with the wrong guy the less time you have to spend with the right guy (I think that's how she said it). It's true -- move on from him and give yourself a chance to be truly happy and see what a healthy relationship, with love and TRUST is all about.


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## Saja (Feb 19, 2007)

I think you know what you need to do. If he was even a little bit worth it, you wouldnt need to wonder. Hes not worth it, hes not goonna change, and Im sorry, but thats not gonna get better.

The right on wont ever give you reason to wonder.....


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## Killah Kitty (Feb 19, 2007)

I cant thank u all enough for all the replies and thoughts. I know our relationship is not goin to go on forever, but you know easier said than done, letting go right now seems so hard to do. I wont put up for getting treated like this though..

He makes it harder to do too, I can already see tellin him its over and tryin to explain everything I kno that hes done, he will be denying it all

This is turning out to be a really hard decision and really hard to carry out whatever choice. Ok well I know I want to let go but it wont be fun. Im hopin so hard I will be able to do this.

THANK U ALL AGAIN for readin my story takin the time to leave your thoughts I apreciate it so much


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## Saja (Feb 19, 2007)

I know its hard and I know it sucks....and I wsh you dindt have to deal with it....but be realistic.....its not ever going to get easier to do..its hard now. its just going to get harder.


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## pinksugar (Feb 19, 2007)

just take a deep breath, take all the anger you feel about being treated like this, all the resentment, and UNLEASH IT :7:

I know it's hard when he will deny it til the end of time, but basically, if he keeps denying it, just say something like..

"you know in your heart you've been doing it. I don't care whether you tell me the truth or not, I'm still going to leave, but if you won't admit it when it's so obvious then you're even less of a man than I thought."

Good luck gorgeous, I know how hard it is, especially when they make it sound like the truth. He's only hurting himself by not saying anything, you KNOW he's been doing it, so who cares if he lies or not, it doesn't change the truth.


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## Kookie-for-COCO (Feb 19, 2007)

Sit down and write all the good things about him and then all the bad things. You will find the bad outweighs the good. Shock him wiht a dose of his own medicine.


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## han (Feb 19, 2007)

ok.. i know people can and do change but doesnt sound like he is about too anytime soon as long as you put up with this mess.. the only way things are gonna change for you is if you make those changes and not wait on him to do it. i agree with kookie he needs a dose of reality and that reality should be the lost of you untill he does change..and if he doesnt then so be it let him do this to the next victim.


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## Dragonfly (Feb 20, 2007)

I know this is a really difficult time for you. Let us know how things are going ok.

You can always post again if you need more love and support - we have tons to offer you!


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## pinkbundles (Feb 20, 2007)

Sounds to me like a guy I once dated and for whatever f*cked-up reason, I fell hard for this guy. Same story only I never talked to anyone but him. This guy, your guy, is a pure player. It doesn't matter if the girl is hot or ugly. It's the thrill of the chase, it's the attention, and most likely, he's getting stuff from these girls (clothes, money, you know what, etc.). My ex-guy was like this though I can neither deny or confirm if he actually ever cheated on me. Anyway, drop him. Over the years, I've learned that no woman should ever have to put up with this kind of crap. It doesn't matter how charming or good in bed they are! It's not worth it for our sanity!


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## Holly2232 (Feb 20, 2007)

Dump him !


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## Killah Kitty (Feb 20, 2007)

Again thanks. I come back here a couple times in the day when I have time and read your thoughts. It really is helping and Im so glad I have you guys here lol. Love is blind you know.

pinkbundles I think you are so right, the thrill of the chase, the attention, he wants those things, and its seeming to become true the girl doesnt really have to be attractive.

Well Ill keep u guys posted and apreciate the replies so so so much

What do u guys think if I told him we should take a break for like a week? Hes asked this of me before last summer. Maybe I think I should give him some time to either freely chase other woman or try understand who he wants and that I wont stay around being treated like that

I am determined to figure out how this relationship will turn out lol I know it is evident I should leave but I think itd not only be easier for me to try a break first, maybe it would help us too?

I dont know lol I dont even like breaks I heard people jus talkin at the bus stop one day that when you take a break you jus dont wanna be with that person plain and simple.

Anyways THANK YOU. A break? Jus leave him for good? Keep trying?! LOL

P.S. Welcome to MuT Holly2232, I smiled that your first post is in my thread tellin me to DUMP HIM! lol


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## NYAngel98 (Feb 20, 2007)

RUN... (don't walk!!!) Away from this guy!!! You can do so much better, and even being single and by yourself, you're still MUCH better off!!!! If this guy is so interested in seeing if the grass is greener, then let him --- because if he does it to you, he'll do it to them and eventually it'll all come back to bite him when he ends up alone *where he belongs!*  /emoticons/[email protected] 2x" width="20" height="20" />


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## natalierb (Feb 20, 2007)

Sweetie, you need to get away asap! Just by reading your post, I could tell he's cheating on you by his actions. I was in a bad 3 year relationship with a chronic cheater. He must have cheated on me with 7 different girls (that I knew of). I was young and whipped and kept taking him back (I was such a fool). One day I woke up and dumped him, and now I can't believe I didn't do it sooner! I am completely disgusted by him. You're young, and there are tons of other guys out there. You don't need this one, he's just gonna hurt you all the time. Good luck, we're here for you!


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## Dragonfly (Feb 20, 2007)

Taking a break from him is definately a step in the right direction.

Perhaps you will see your relationship through "new" eyes.

Sometimes it is difficult to be objective when you are in the middle.

If your best friend or sister were in a similar relationship (that you are in), would you encourage her to leave? Or would you say nothing and watch how poorly she was being treated?

Just something to think about. Best of luck to you honey.


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## Nox (Feb 20, 2007)

Hey Ms. Killah,

I'm sorry but his behavior is a deal breaker. His actions seem very shady when you are not around. Would you be honored if he acted like that towards girls in front of you? Could you, in real confidence, leave town for a few days, and not be plagued by thoughts of him doing things he shouldn't? Would you feel humiliated reading off the rapsheet of all the things he has done to your relationship in front of your parents?

Well by golly, I think you need to cut this wild one loose.


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## Killah Kitty (Feb 21, 2007)

Beautiful replies and thoughts everyone, thank you so much, I apreciate all this *alot*

NYAngel I loved your reply, your one of my fav ppl on MUT that outer V tuturioal saved my makeup and your hair knowledge is amazin, your hair too lol

Deep thoughts thank you. He or I leave town for a couple days that is what is always on our mind, what are you doing, with who...

Thank you. That is somethin to think about. I apreciate your input about a break idea lol. Its difficult but Ill be talkin serious to him reall soon.

:heart: :heart:


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