# Is what I did really that bad?



## Bec688 (Aug 13, 2008)

As most of you know by now, my parents are getting divorced. In our lounge room we have a lot of family photos on display and I have been finding it difficult to look at all these happy snap family photos during this time, so I took them down.

My grandmother (Mum's Mum) has come to stay for a few days and she took all the photos I had taken down and put them back up. So I took them back down again. When she realised they were gone, she started going off at me, telling me this isn't my house and I don't have the right to move/re decorate my mothers things.

I told her to back off and I don't want the photos up and she needs to mind her own business. She then has the audacity to tell me this is between my Dad and my Mum and I am being ridiculous about the whole thing and it doesn't affect me. WHAT THE ****!!!

She also thinks I have too much to say on this divorce and I need to keep my mouth shut. This is coming from queen I'll poke my nose into everyones business without asking.

This divorce doesn't only affect my Mum, it affects the whole family, and I am part of the family, and if taking down family photos helps me cope, then I will do it. My Mum doesn't mind that I have done that, but I have just had my grandma flip out at me for doing it and telling me this divorce is none of my business, but apparently it's hers.

I can't stand my grandmother at the best of times, right now I feel like ringing her neck. She has done nothing but aggravate the situation since she has been here. She still thinks she can tell my mother what to do and thinks because she is staying here she can run our house how she sees fit.

My mother has never stood up to her Mum in her life, she has always let her mother trample all over her, in my grandmothers eyes my Mum is still a child, she will never be a "woman". Mum sat there and let my grandmother rip me to shreds then I got in trouble for going off at my grandmother, granted I did use a few curse words in there, but I couldn't believe I was the one getting in trouble when my grandmother had no right to say those things to me.

I left the room and I heard my Mum telling my grandmother to leave me alone and if I need to do that to help me cope than so be it, my grandmother told my Mum to stop being ridiculous and that I am being childish and stupid.

All I did was take down a few photos. Is what I have done really that bad?


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## Marisol (Aug 13, 2008)

I am glad that your mom stood up for you. Your grandmother has no idea what you, your mom and siblings are going through and with all due respect, she needs to back off. I don't think that what you did was wrong by any means. If it will help you deal with it at the moment, then go for it. It isn't like you are destroying them or something.

Hang in there and stay away from your grandmother since she isn't being very supportive.


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## pinksugar (Aug 13, 2008)

no. You didn't do anything wrong. What is with meddling old people. She is totally out of touch. Grrrr she made me angry just reading your post. Hopefully she'll bog off home where she belongs.

I'm not sure what I'd suggest you do about it in the future, but you're completely right. This will affect your whole family, of which you're a part.

I'm sorry that she's making things worse


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## Ashley (Aug 13, 2008)

Is this at your mom's house? If so, and she's okay with it, then I don't think you've done anything wrong. The divorce definitely does affect your life, and your input should be valued. Maybe your grandmother is reacting like that because she is stressed.


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## Bec688 (Aug 13, 2008)

Ashley, yes it is my Mums house, and she was fine with me moving the photos, it was my grandmother that was causing the fuss. Ohh and in the 5 minutes that I was in my room, voila, all the photos are miraculously back up.

Also that woman has gotten into my Mums ear again.

I just went out into the kitchen to boil the kettle to make a cuppa, and both my Mum and my Grandmother are standing there looking at me, my grandmother turns to my mother, raises and eyebrow and then my Mum automatically like a puppet on strings "Rebecca, I would really like for your to apologise to your grandmother, the way you spoke to her was rude, disrespectful and very unlady like"

I said I have nothing to apologise for and that from now on I will watch my mouth when I speak to my grandmother. I don't think I have done anything wrong and I am not giving her the satisfaction of an apology, I am not giving my grandmother what she wants.

She leaves on Friday...thank god I work tomorrow (Thurs) and Friday, the less time I spend with this woman, the better.


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## internetchick (Aug 13, 2008)

I don't think you did anything wrong.


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## pinksugar (Aug 13, 2008)

Did you apologize?

Ugh. Sometimes family are the worst


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## Bec688 (Aug 13, 2008)

Nope. More lectures would follow if I did apolgise, and she wouldnt view it as that, an apology, to her it's a victory. She wasn't offended at all, she just wanted satisfaction.


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## prettylynn (Aug 13, 2008)

I don't think you did anything wrong. You took down photos big deal? They helped you and probably your mother cope as well. Your mother was fine with it. I know there is the whole respect your elders thing but sometimes thats hard to do with someone so mean. Good for you for standing up to her.

You could leave them up, its only a few days and try to avoid that room. You could also take the pictures down again and put them somewhere your grandma couldnt get or find them. I would do that just to make her mad. If your grandmother starts up again tell her what she told you. Its not YOUR house YOU have NO say, my mother said it was ok so shut your mouth! Maybe she will just leave you alone cause shes mad cause you wont apologize. Even though it may be tempting to keep taking down what she puts up it is probably best to leave things alone so there is no more added stress for you mom.


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## pinksugar (Aug 13, 2008)

I agree with PL, good for you! snaps for Bec


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## ticki (Aug 13, 2008)

so sorry to hear about what's been going on. i don't think you did anything wrong. the divorce affects you directly and intimately. what right does she have to take away one of your coping methods? ignore the old bag and talk to your mother about it when she's gone.


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## emily_3383 (Aug 13, 2008)

I think if your mom says it was ok then i dont think what you did was wrong.


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## StereoXGirl (Aug 13, 2008)

OMG.

First of all, of COURSE it affects you. Divorce is notorious for greatly affecting the children of those getting the divorce! How rediculous is your grandmother!?!?

As far her saying it's not "your" house and none of "your" business, it's not like it's your grandmother's house either! And it's more your business than hers as you're affected more by it!


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## Darla (Aug 13, 2008)

Bec i don't think you did anything wrong. I think your grandmother is wrong in one major respect this does affect you. Its still your parents decision, but you shouldn't feel like you can't express an opinion.


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## kbella (Aug 13, 2008)

I don't think you did anything wrong, it's your mom's house and she's ok with it...I however think that an apology for cursing at you grandma won't hurt.

Hang in there Bec.


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## greenground (Aug 13, 2008)

It may be between you mom and dad but it effects everyone. Just as much as it effects them, it is probably hard for them to see their daughter go through this. And want things to go back to the way they were as much as possible.

But no you didnt do anything wrong, it is probably for the best to take those down.


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## Dragonfly (Aug 13, 2008)

I'm sorry that your grandmother has been insensitive to your feelings.

Although it is your mom and dad divorcing, of course it's going to affect you as well.

Glad you stood up to you grandmother - sound like it's about time someone did!

Hang in there hun, things will get better - just takes time.


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## S. Lisa Smith (Aug 14, 2008)

I agree with everyone else. If your Mom was OK with it then grannie had no reason to get in your face. Just avoid her, she'll be going home soon!


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## CellyCell (Aug 14, 2008)

What a wench. I can't stand outside people dictating what's going around. I'm glad she's leaving soon... it really doesn't set up an even better environment, and you had the right to go off. There's times where talking to your relatives like that just needs to happen. No one made them God, ya know? It's ridiculous when they demand respect and give you none. So major pfft on her and kudos to you. Hope you're feeling better


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## magneticheart (Aug 14, 2008)

Omg, it has everything to do with you. It has more to do with you than it has to do with her! What an insensitive idiot.

I don't think what you did was bad AT ALL. It's a difficult time for you and if the pictures make you feel uncomfortable, as long as your Mum has no problem with it, you have every right to take them down to help you get through it!

I'm glad you're not going to apologise to her. There are some old people who think because you're young you're always in the wrong. At least she'll be gone soon.

I'm going to stop now because if I get started on interfearing old people you won't be able to stop me


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## Anthea (Aug 15, 2008)

I am so slow, I only read this now






I agree with everyone above, the children are always affected in any separation and you have your ways of coping with it, especially as you are living with your parents. Your grandmother IMO was being most insensitive. Just want you to know we are here for you and if you need anything please contact me.


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