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@PeridotCricket birthdays are supposed to be celebrated in the manner that the BIRTHDAY person wants. If the organizer does anything else, then they're celebrating themself, not you!
And I don't know if it helps, but maybe you could start a journal written as a letter to your friend who passed away? You have every right to grieve, and the desire to communicate with him is very natural. Maybe having a way to communicate with him, even in your own thoughts, can give you some peace?
I'm so sorry for your loss, big hugs and Happy Birthday - in whatever way YOU want to celebrate it! :hugs3: