Lie To Me

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After seeing my JC pennys ad, Sports Ilistrated wants me to be featured in their swimsuit isue!

 
I totally didn't just try to drink my pepsi with the cap still on it (and then just stare at it like the cap would magically pop off by my sheer will alone)

 
I'm pure.

I'm still a virgin.

I don't know what a vagina is, nor do I know where it's located.

I've never seen a penis, and I sure as HELL don't know what one is.

I've never watched porn, either. I don't know what the HELL it is, either!

I would say I'm a saint!

 

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