Is your family affectionate?

[Shelley]

When you were growing up were your parents, siblings affectionate with each other as in hugs, kisses? No affection?

If you are single, have a significant other, married, or have children do you follow the same traditions? Less affectionate, more affectionate, none?

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I grew up in a totally non affectionate home. I consider myself to be non affectionate unless I really know someone or I know they are okay with being hugged.

 

[Adrienne]

Nope, non affectionate family. We know we love each other but my parents each come from non affectionate families as well. My dad especially: everything was abusive in every way possible, physically, mentally, emotionally, sexually... My mom, she misbehaved and it was a guaranteed whipping, very strict environment. Now that were older, were more affectionate, hard times such as my dad's surgeries and economic situations have made us so, we've bonded better. I can actually hug my parents and tell them I love them to death without feeling weird (which up untill the end of last year, I never did.)

In my own marriage, a lot of that is reflected. I don't tell my husband I love him as often as I should but I do it more physically as in hugs out of nowhere, kisses, backrubs, soft intimate touches like holding hands. With my son, I pour all my love in him. I want to be able to say "Bye baby, I love you" when he's a teen and him be able to say it back without feeling strange. He's doing it already. He'll give me a huge hug or a big kiss out of nowhere or tell me he loves me just because.

 

[Orangeeyecrayon]

My family was not very affectionate at all. Only my mom would kiss us and only really at night before bed.

As a result i have found that i am pretty un-affectionate with others. I dont really like hugging people and only do it if i have to. Even people i have known my whole life i dont really hug. I also am super against any showing affection publicly. Even little things like pet names as a result.

I dont think it is a bad thing, it just means i save my affectionate moments for those who mean the most to me.

 

[Lucy]

my parents weren't particularly unaffectionate but not super affectionate either. i don't think it's affected how i am at all, i find it very easy to show affection for people.

 

[Karren]

Non also......

 

[HairEgo]

Non affectionate for me. In my personal life I find myself being non-affectionate towards others but if im in a relationship i can be quite affectionate.

 

[reesesilverstar]

Not even a little bit.

 

[Aprill]

non affectionate. I in my mind feel like I didnt exist to my mother until I turned 16...and was pregnant.

 

[MomentoMoir]

My family was abusive thats why i left ive always been an affectionate person

 

[emily_3383]

Id like to say that when I was younger we were but as we got older and problems got bigger I think it became less.

 

[lolaB]

My family's pretty affectionate. Hugs, kisses, i love you's, etc...even though we're all grownups now, nothing's really changed. I don't have any kids, but I think my relationship is better because we were both raised in similar environments, so we've never had a problem sharing our feelings or anything like that. I hug my friends too, whether they like it or not lol. I plan on doing exactly what my parents did when I have a family.

 

[Kraezinsane]

Wow, my family is VERY affectionate, and so am I lol we give hugs, kisses, cuddles, snuggles everything lol

 

[Roxie]

Non, deffinitely. Most the time, it seems like everyone hates each other. I love my family and I tell them so because it's important to know that you are loved, but my mum is the only one who says it or shows it. everyone else just hates each other. My parents come from nonaffectionate families, too - my mum grew up catholic and they are too strict to be loving! I'm probably more affectionate with my friends than family.

 

[Dalylah]

My dad is affectionate in a traditional manly sort of way, stiff hugs and praise for when we did/do good. He tells us he is proud a lot. My mom on the other hand used to actually chase and hunt me down for hugs and kisses. As a small child I loved it and as a teenager I still did but was embarrassed cuz she used to do it when my friends came over lol. All in all they were pretty affectionate and I felt loved and supported.

As for my own family, I love to squeeze and hug and kiss them all. I figure it's my turn to do the chasing hehe. My little ones love it.

 

[chruix]

I grew up in my family learning the traditional values on family ties.

 

[EmmySunshine]

My parents have never been affectionate toward me. All I've ever heard from them are "You could do better." However, they were very affectionate to my little brother, who is younger than me by 8 years. Playing favorites much? I'm not blaming them, but I grew up to be a very non-affectionate person until I met my boyfriend. Before him, I couldn't say 'I love you' or express any feelings I have seriously, without making a joke out of it.

My parents still aren't affectionate toward me. The most touching thing they have ever said to me was "You did a better job on this than last time." I definitely don't want me future children growing up in a household like that.

 

[Shelley]

It's interesting reading how others grew up and what they are like now with regards to affection.

My parents grew up in abusive homes from the small tidbits I learned over the years. They in turn abused me but I'm not like them and will never be that way (as in abusive) So I am guessing they probably come from non affectionate families. I'm not use to affection but if someone I know hugs me it doesn't bother me. In a relationship, in time, I can show affection.

 

[MeganNicole]

Not too affectionate,we would say i love you before leaving or going to bed,and now we say i love you when leaving or getting off the phone.

 

[magosienne]

We're close, and we love each other, no doubt, but i'd say my parents are extremely clumsy at showing it and most of all, they're lunatics and sometimes affection and care for your child can make you say the most hurtful things to your son or daughter.

I know my father was raised in a strict family with harsh physical punishments, and from what i've gathered through the years, my father's eldest brother, as first born, had many privileges that shadowed the other siblings.

My mother has suffered from her status of woman in front of a misogynist father, and she's made it clear to me more than once that she envied the freedom i have and in general the freedom my generation has compared to hers.

To be perfectly fair it's in my character as well, but i know it has reflected on me as i tend to keep my feelings for myself, it seems unless i've been in a relationship for a while i cannot express my feelings, and even with my closest friends sometimes i remain awkwardly shy.

I really hope that will change when i'll be in a serious relationship and have kids.

 

[HikerGal]

Gosh, I thought I was in the minority growing up in a non affectionate family. Thanks so much for posting this.

My parents loved my sister and I and told us often, but not physically affectionate. My father kisses us on the cheek and my mother goes cheek to cheek and air kisses.

Now that I am grown, I am the same way. Aside from my husband, I don't like to be hugged and kisses are out of the question!